01x13 - Johnny Bravo Meets Adam West / Under The Big Flop / Johnny Meets Donny Osmond

[bunniefuu]

Baby!

Sassy!

Studly.

Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me!

Come on!

Hey there, baby.

Oh! Uh!

Yeah, whatever.

Let's see what's on the tube.

Hi. I'm Adam West.

Here on the Adam West show,

I help people just like you

to fight those everyday villains

you meet in your hometown.

Today, my guest is

little Cory Brooks.

Hi, Mr. West.

Do you really fight

all those bad guys on TV?

How old are you, Ricky?



I sure do, Billy.

So what's

your trouble?

There's this

mean kid that

beats me up and

takes my lunch money.

Ah, the bully...

the most vile

of all knaves.

Well, I went to Donny's hometown

of Kent, Connecticut,

to take on this miscreant

face to face.

There he is, Mr. West.

Hi. Are you the bully?

Yes.

Well, come here.

I want to introduce you

to my friends, the dogs.

Their favorite food is faces.

Well, needless to say,

everything turned out great.

Right, Bobby?

Cory.

Max.

Aw, that's a nice story.

Oh, my gosh!

It's 6:01!

But mama was supposed to be

home from shopping by 6:00.

Something must've happened.

Maybe she's been kidnapped.



I'm running out of time!

I got to save mama.

But I'm gonna need some help.

I'm Adam West,

and remember,

I want to help you.

Bingo!

Ha. Adam West's house.

Nice place.

Don't you hate

when that happens?

Who are you,

newcomer?

Johnny Bravo.

Oh. Well, hand me

that towel.

What can I do

for you, Mr. Bravo?

Well, my mama's

been kidnapped.

Kidnapped?

By whom?

Well, that's just it.

I--I don't know.

She was supposed

to be home by 6:00.

Come 6:01,

she still wasn't back.

Hmm, that is strange.

I--I saw your program, and I figured

you could help me get her back.

I see.

So...Can you help?

Possibly.

Now, as I'm sure

you know, Jenny--

Johnny.

Nick.

As I'm sure you know,

that's just a TV show.

Oh, sh**t.

You wouldn't believe

what I spend on tailoring.

Anyway, as I said,

it's just a TV show.

Blast!

Hand me that shirt,

would you?

Thanks.

However, Betty, wherever there's

a life at stake,

I have no qualms

about getting tough.

I knew you were the right guy

to come to.

All right, then...

let's go get your mama.

Right!

To the Adam West mobile!

sh**t! That's a dumb

name, isn't it?

- No, it's fine.

- Really?

Sure.

Oh, come on.

Knock it off.

Wait a minute.

- What's that?

- What's what?

Our first clue--

a 3rd Avenue

candy bar wrapper,

conveniently discarded

on top of this trash heap--

A little too

conveniently, I think.

Almost as if someone

wanted us to find it.

Someone's toying

with us, Mr. Bravo.

And no one makes

a sit and spin

out of Adam West.

We got to get

to 3rd Avenue!

All right, Johnny.

Our next clue

is bound to show up

somewhere around here.

Look!

Beijing mama's

Chinese food. Ha ha!

The clever couching

of the word "mama"

in the name of that restaurant doesn't

fool us for a second.

Not us.

Not us, indeed.

I've got a hunch our next clue is

somewhere inside.

Here's some tea

to start you off, gentlemen.

- Wait!

- What?

Don't drink that.

It might be poisoned.

Dump it in that plant

and see if it dies.

Oh, that was close.

We're safe, for now.

- Wait!

- What?

Johnny, look next to

the soy sauce.

Fortune cookies!

Could be

our next clue.

No, wait.

There could be

a b*mb inside.

Give it... to me.

One...Two...Three--

What does it say?

"Your heart's afire."

Hmm...That rhymes with

"tarts on a wire,"

which in turn sounds

like "carts for hire."

Kelly, your mother's being

held at the golf course!

Holy guacamole!

We got to save her!

No time to waste,

Johnny!

To the golf course!

Nothing yet--wait!

What?

That hole with the red flag

sticking out of it.

I see it.

Obviously indicative

of an evil,

underground race

of savage mole people!

Oh, no! You think

they've got mama?

I believe these mole people are

planning to induct your mother

into their twisted society

of subterranean degeneracy

as a source of genetic harvest

with which they plan to create a hybrid

race of rodent h*m* sapiens

for the sole purpose of

conquering the galaxy!

What are we gonna do?

We've got to dig

to the central metropolis

of moleville

and rescue her by force!

- I'll get some shovels!

- Good man.

And I've got a friend

with some heavy machinery.

Keep digging, Johnny!

We're bound to hit

one of their skyscrapers!

Well, well.

What have we here?

Officer, quick.

Bring more men

and equipment.

And inflatable rafts--

bring inflatable rafts!

We'll need them when we reach the

underground river of the mole men.

Well, actually,

we had something else in mind.

This is obviously

a cage of some sort.

Well, no matter.

I've gotten out of tighter spots.

All right, Bravo.

Your bail's here.

Mama! You're ok!

Well, of course

I am, Johnny boy.

I got home a little late

from shopping, honey.

And when I heard what happened,

I rushed right down here.

It's good to see

you're safe, ma'am.

Mr. West,

I can't say you've been a good

influence on my son.

Well, Mrs. Bravo, I know it

may seem like that to you now,

but there are things a man

must do in the name of good,

tough decisions that

have to be made

to get to the bottom of a situation.

Things that..

Hello? Hello?

Oh, Johnny, isn't

the circus just dreamy?

Oh, yeah...

Dreamy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you

my newest mind-control sl*ve,

I mean, my newest act,

Jungle Boy!

Yay.

Take it away, Jungle Boy!

Ooh...

Aah...

Ohh...

Take a bow, jungle brat.

Yay!

And I'm your ringmaster,

Vivian Vixen.

Good night, wonderful people

of Aron city,

and remember,

the circus is your friend.

Vivian Vixen...Rrowr!

It's like

destiny calling.

Hyah! Ooh!

Johnny, does

Jungle Boy seem

a little odd

to you today?

What? Do you mean the little



performing random feats

of superhuman strength?

No. Why?

Well, it seemed

like he was,

I don't know,

brainwashed or something.

Did you hear

something?

I think Vivian Vixen

is up to something evil.

We'd better

check her out.

I couldn't agree

with you more.

Well, jungle boy,

thanks to my mind-control device and

your super strength,

I'll be a millionaire

by the end of the fiscal year.

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, my gosh! Did you

hear that, Johnny?

Oh, yeah! Ha ha.

I dig the way

she laughs.

No, she's holding

Jungle Boy prisoner

with a mind-

controlling device.

Why?

To make him do tricks.

What for?

To make lots of money!

- Who's doing what?

- Johnny!

Vivian Vixen is controlling

Jungle Boy's mind!

So is that a bad thing?

Come on!

Ok, Johnny.

You distract Miss Vixen,

and I'll grab the mind-

controlling device.

Hmm..."Vixen."

I like the way that sounds.

Miss Vixen is fixin'

to start mixin' it up with me.

Hyah! Oh, yeah!

Vixen bo-bixen,

mo-mixen--huh!

Will you go

already?

Today is your rendezvous

with destiny, Miss Vixen.

Aah..."vixen."

I like saying that.

Vixen! Vixen! Vixen!

Vixen. Vixen.

Excuse me, but

this area is private.

And so am I--

Private first class

lover boy,

at your service.

Hyah!

I could be your newest

attraction--the perfect man!

Jungle Boy, please remove this...

This testosterone anachronism

from my sight.

Oh, yeah! She called me

an anac--an--ana--an--

Is that a good thing?

Aaah!...oh!

Now, where were we?

Oh, yeah--

Hyah! Check it out!

Barnum and Bailey!

Oh, Jungle Boy!

Whoooa!

Ha ha ha ha!

What the--?!

I've got it! I've got it!

I've got the mind-

controlling device!

Come back here,

you little brat!

Gimme that!

Didn't your mama

teach you not to steal

from beautiful women?

Unless, of course,

you steal their hearts.

Oh, my gosh,

Johnny!

She's gotten

to you, too!

You're a victim

of mind control!

Mind control? Ha!

It would take more

than a little old

mind-controlling device

to control me.

Here! Bravo boy!

Heel!

Yes, ma'am!

Jungle Boy, get rid of

this buffoon once and for all.

Hey, look, guys.

It's Jungle Boy.

Must...get...rid...of...buffoon.

Oh, my goodness! Look!

Jungle Boy's mind is

being controlled

by some sort of

mind-controlling device!

Who keeps playing

that music?

Do it, Jungle Boy.

Drop him in!

No! Don't!

Yes!

No!

- Yes!

- No!

Yes!

Nooo!

Man, I love

slow motion.

Oh, my gosh!

What am I doing?!

Hey! What are you guys

doing up there?

Vivian Vixen was controlling your mind

with her evil machine.

Well, that's

not right.

Hyah!

I don't mean

to be rude,

but you're

a cold-hearted snake!

Hey! What's that

supposed to mean?

Well, what are you going

to do now, Jungle Boy?

I don't know.

I was thinking

of finding

a nice, quiet corner

of Montana,

settling down, and trying to stay

out of history's way.

Couldn't you just

return to the jungle

and live happily

ever after?

Oh, yeah!

There's that, too.

Come on,

animal friends!

Let's go home.

Oh...I was beginning

to like the oil.

So, Miss Vixen...

since your circus is ruined,

with your prime attraction

being gone and all,

how's about you

concentrating on me? Hyah!

Your primal

attraction...Rrowr!

You know...Ha ha....

I think I know exactly

what I want to do with you.

Yay!

Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the one,

the only...Johnny Bravo!

Never had one lesson. Ha ha!

Aah...It's a beautiful day...

the kind of a day

where nothing can go wrong.

Johnny?

Oh! Oh!

Johnny!

You forgot your pants!

Oh, man...I thought

it was kind of drafty.

Come on, Johnny!

Give soiled Sally

a kiss!

Forget it, kid!

Ain't gonna happen.

I got a responsibility

to my masculinity.

I kiss your doll,

next thing you know,

I'm ironing my own shirts.

Please, Johnny?

No!

Oh...Mama!

Oh! Oh! My favorite

oak cabinet!

I won that on

Sale of the Century!

Oops. Y-you still

got your consolation prizes, right?

The vegetable oil?

No. I used it up.

Sorry.

Dear me, Johnny!

I would've expected

better of you!

But apparently you're

not responsible enough

to be left alone

without supervision.

Johnny,

you need a nanny.

A nanny?!

Would she look like

Fran Drescher?

Now, do you feel

you are qualified

to supervise a boy

Johnny's age?

Oh, yes, I simply

adore children.

And I feel

I really have the--

ability to connect with

them on their own--

level.

So, do I get the job?

We'll call you.

Great. Hope

to hear from you.

Put that one on

the psycho list.

Do you deal well

with young people?

Oh, yes. I know

how to handle them.

Course, I have a little help from

Mr. Leather Strap

and his roommate,

Mr. Hickory Stick.

They speak

the kids' language.

We'll call you.

- Call her what?

- Johnny!

'Cause I can think

of a few things.

So, tell me again

why you want the job,

Mr. Donny Osmond?

Well, sh**t.

I just love kids.

I'm a grown man!

- Thumbs up!

- Huh?

Oh, how delightful!

And so handsome!

You're hired.

What?!

He's not even

a chick, mama.

No...But I'm

a fast learner.

Great.

Donny:

Buck up, Johnny.

I've got all sorts of

fun stuff for us to do.

Like what?

I'm taking you to

Peter the horse's burger fun house!

You've got

to be kidding me.

Hi, kids!

Welcome to Peter's!

Looks like a good time,

doesn't it, Johnny?

No.

Why don't you jump in the balls?

Why don't you

jump in the river?

Ha ha! There's

no river here.

Only good, clean fun.

Come on!

It's exercise.

Oof!

Oh, man.

Which way is up?

I could get lost forever

in here.

Excuse me, kid.

How do I get out of

these balls?

Good question.

I've been in here since I was 5.

Uh!

Hey there!

Did you have fun?

I want to go now.

Sure thing, Johnny.

We've still got

lots more to do.

All right,

what's the guitar for?

I'm going to teach you

how to sing, Johnny.

And I'm gonna teach you

how to shut up.

Oh, neat!

It'll be like a trade!

Ok. Here's a fun way

to remember the musical notes.

♪ A, like Nick

from Family Ties ♪

♪ B, the bug you try to dodge ♪

♪ C, the thing

your eyes do best ♪

♪ D, and Re-run,

Dwayne, and Raj ♪

Ok, hold up there,

perky boy.

What?

Can I see that for a second?

My guitar?

Yeah, the guitar.

I--I want to sing

a different tune.

Hey, neat idea!

We'll have a sing-along!

Everybody wins

with a sing-along!

Right, yeah,

everybody.

A sing-along.

Hey, that wasn't

very nice.

Yeah, that's a dang

shame when that happens.

But it's ok.

I also brought

my bagpipes.

What do you want

to do now, Johnny?

Hey, how about

we play hide-and-seek?

Hey, fun!

Ok, I'll count.

You hide.

Perfect.

Uno, dos,

tres, cuatro...

Hey, why'd

you do that?

Do what?

Run off and leave me

looking for nothing.

I didn't run off.

I just...Came back

for some hot cocoa.

Oh...Ok.

Now I'll hide.

Ok. Bye.

Bye.

Oh, hello, Johnny.

Where's your nanny?

Hide-and-seek.

He's hiding.

Well, I'm so

glad this is all working out!

Me, too, mama.

Me, too.

Ha ha ha.

He'll never find me here.

Ah! A brand-new day with

brand-new possibilities.

Hey...Johnny never

came looking for me.

Ha ha ha ha.

I'm a better hider

than I thought.

Oh, get that,

would you, Johnny?

Sure, mama.

I win!

Win what?

Hide-and-seek.

I win!

Oh, yeah, right.

Ooh, man, you stink

like a landfill.

It's the smell

of victory, Johnny.

Donny, where

have you been?

Weren't you supposed

to be watching Johnny?

Johnny, did you get into any trouble

while I was gone?

No, Donny.

I was sleeping.

You see, Mrs. Bravo?

Johnny no longer

needs a nanny.

My work here

is done.

Oh, Donny...Will we

ever see you again?

Who can say?

There are so many children

just like Johnny

who desperately

need my services.

Farewell!

Mama, there goes

a real weirdo.

Donny:

Remember, Johnny,

keep a dream in your heart,

and always reach for the--

Ok, that was a bad idea.

Can I borrow your car?