01x04 - Date With An Antelope / Did You See A Bull Run By Here / Cookie Crisis

[bunniefuu]

Baby.

Sassy.

Studly.

Mmm!

Check the pecs.

Huh! Ha! Huh!

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me.

Come on.

Hey there, baby.

Ooh! Ah!

Yeah, whatever.

Oh, mama.

Millions of chicks

at the push of a button.

Hello! I should have tried

this internet thing long ago.

Hey, all you hot mamas,

want to talk to a steamin' hunk

of cyber-fella?

FEMALE VOICE:

Wow.

Are you really a steamin' hunk?

Let's just say

I take up a lot of cyberspace.

Oh, wow.

We should totally get together.

How's right now?

Right now's perfect.

Huh! Right on.

I am going to hit

a homer today.

Hey!

Who's that handsome guy?

Hello, 911 emergency.

There's a handsome guy

in my house.

Oh, wait a second.

Cancel that.

It's only me.

[splash ]

Oh, you drive me wild!

Hyah!

[doorbell rings ]

Showtime!

Coming!

Hi. You must be Johnny.

I'm Carol.

Uh...

You know,

it really feels weird

hooking up with someone

over the internet.

Doesn't it

feel weird?

Hey, can I use your phone

before we go?

Um...Yeah.

Oh, great. Thanks.

You can have some

of that if you want.

What?

My salt lick.

You can have some.

What about germs?

Oh, you look

clean enough.

Now, let's see here.

sh**t!

Oh, well,

let's just go.

Can you hand me

my purse?

Um...

how about if I pay

for dinner?

Oh, wow. Thanks.

You're the best.

It is so nice

to have a day off.

I work at a real-estate

firm, and I...

What are you

staring at, Johnny?

Um...Nothing.

Uh!

You know,

don't you?

[sobbing ]

They always know!

Oh, now,

look here, ma'am.

I don't care

if you're an antelope.

You don't?

No. Come on.

Let's go get us some chow.

You are such

a gentleman.

Yeah, I know.

[ horns honking ]

JOHNNY:

Ooh! That was--

ooh! Hey!

I think

that might--ooh!

I'm sure they have

insurance and everything.

Now, don't you think

you ought to--oh!

Well, I guess red doesn't always

have to mean stop.

These cars are

so badly designed.

Look, you want me

to drive?

I've got thumbs.

Oh, no, no, no.

You're so sweet.

That's ok.

I'm fine.

Crazy women

antelope drivers!

[ muffled ]

Dang! There goes

my premium again.

You won't believe

what I have to pay for insurance.

Oh, mama.

[ calliope playing ]



please.

[sniffs ]

Isn't this romantic, Johnny?

This is romantic, Carol.

I agree.

Whoopee!

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Yes, sir!

Oh, man, this ain't

gonna be pretty.

Hello!

Look, men.

It's Pegasus.

No. Wait a second.

No, it's not.

May I

help you, sir?

Table for 2, please.

I'm sorry, sir.

We only serve

humans.

Wait a minute.

Aren't you Mike Stevens?

Why, yes.

You went to college

with my father.

I--

Oh, my gosh!

Carol? Oh, wow!

I didn't even

recognize--

Oh, my goodness!

You've gotten so big.

Oh, you say that

to all the antelope.

You look great, Mike.

Thanks. You...

Well, you look fabulous.

Come on.

I'll get you guys a table.

Just keeps getting

weirder and weirder.

Thanks, Mike.

Whoops.

Well, you know,

that's ok.

I'll stand.

So, what can I

get you two?

Yeah.

I'll have the crab.

Hmm...Um...

I'll have some grass.

Just a little,

though.

I usually just chew

the same bite for hours.

Coming right up.

Let me ask you

something, honey.

Why do you want to

date a human?

Oh, sh**t, Johnny.

You're so sweet.

I can't lie to you.

I'm trying to teach

my boyfriend a lesson.

He's so possessive.

I'm really sorry,

but I'm basically using you

to get back

at him.

I hope

you don't mind.

Um, no.

No, that's cool.

I can deal with that.

Say, he ain't a moose

or anything, is he?

Should I be nervous?

MAN:

You better be nervous!

If I catch you

messing around with my Carol,

I'll pinch

your trachea shut!

Oh, Nat, you're just...

Just impossible!

See what you think

of this.

That was new.

Oh! You playboy!

Ow! Ow! Hey!

Come on now!

Hang on

a second, mister!

I'd never

lay a hand on your lady.

Why?

What's wrong with her?

Nothing.

I just--

Liar!

Aah!

How about a little

static electricity, you jerk?!

I never did like

shellfish.

Get him, Johnny.

Go on, Johnny.

Get him. Get him.

Get him, Johnny.

Oh, baby.

Where's Mrs. Paul

when you need her?

Aah!

COP:

Well, well,

what have we here?

A couple of

troublemakers, eh?

Uh-oh.

Well, we know a place

where you can make

all the trouble you want.

Really?

Oh, Johnny,

I just feel awful about this.

I really do.

You know,

there's a lesson here.



are nothing but trouble.

The bottom one's mine!

Go near it and die!

Don't you make me

step on you, man.

NARRATOR:

In Northern Spain

lies the quaint little town

of Pamplona,

where, once a year,

thousands of people flock

to witness the annual

running of the bulls.

Of course, Pamplona

has other attractions.

You got that right,

mister.

Hey there,

Spanish señorita.

Sprechen sie love?

It's her, isn't it?

It's not me.

It's her, right?

[woman screams ]

Oh, yeah.

When a woman screams,

I just feel the need

to be there.

Excuse me, but--

[ men shouting ]

Wait a minute.

Can you--

The bull!

The bull!

Bull?

What are they talking about?

Uh-oh.

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

[ cheering ]

Thank you. Hyah!

Thank you very much.

Thank you for caring.

Excuse me, mister,

but your zipper's down.

[zip]

[sobbing ]

I hate men who cry.

Hey, how'd you like to watch the show

in 3-D, sweet thing?

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

[ yawn ]

Excuse me, señor,

but you'll be needing this.

Thanks, kid.

What beauty through

yonder mirror breaks?

It's me,

and I want to

give me to you.

[woman yawns ]

Hey, don't bother me now, kid.

I'm waxing

poetic-like, all right?

I said,

don't bother...

me...Man.

Uh, excuse me,

but you and me,

we got to fight.

I'm sorry, friend,

but v*olence is not the answer.

I know, but see, like,

you got the cape.

So you and me,

we got to fight.

I've got nothing

against you.

And I got nothing

against you,

but you got

the cape.

So you and me,

we got to fight.

Unless, of course,

you're...Chicken.

Chicken?

Come on, mister.

I'll show you

who's chicken.

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

Would a chicken do this?

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

I think not.

Oh!

Oh, man.

Whoa!

Uh!

Somebody wants

their big bull butt kicked.

Uh, watch the cuticles,

huh, babe?

Ooh...

Ooh...

Ooh...

Ahh...

Ahh...

Ahh...

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Ooh...

Ooh...

Ooh...

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Ooh!

Whoa!

Ooh!

Now...It's personal.

Ah!

Hyah! Thank you.

Thank you very much. Hyah!

Hyah! Hyah!

[ cheering ]

Yah!

Yah!

Hee! Ha! Huh! Hey!

Hey! Hee! Ooh! Huh!

Ha! Sizma!

All right,

hold it. Hold it.

I got to tell you this,

as a friend.

Your shoelace

is untied.

Oh. Thanks.

So, then

he says to me,

"is that horn loaded?"

Well, I look

at him and--

[ Ring ]

Excuse me

a minute.

Yo. Talk to me.

JOHNNY:

Mr. Bull.

Look behind you.

Ouch.

[ cheering and applause]

Well, I hope

you're happy.

Well...Yeah. Why?

Now this bull's

going to be eaten

and his hooves

turned into ashtrays.

Oh, yodel-a-hee-hoo!

Who's going to turn that nice bull

into ashtrays?

They are.

Yay!

Yay!

Yay!

♪ Oh, won't you come

home, Bill Bailey? ♪

♪ Won't you come home? ♪

Hold on a minute.

Hyah! I got an idea.

[whispering ]

♪ I cried the whole

night long ♪

♪ I'll do the cooking,

honey ♪

♪ I'll pay the rent ♪

♪ I know

I done you wrong ♪

Hey, everybody,

look up there.

¿Que?

¿Que?

¿Que?

Hop in.

Shotgun!

The bull,

he has escaped.

Aww...

Aww...

Aww...

Ok, who wants to

order Chinese?

BULL:

♪ Alive, alive-o,

alive, alive-o ♪

♪ Crying cockles

and mussels ♪

♪ Alive, alive-o ♪

I'm a powerful

Hollywood producer,

and I want to make

you a movie star.

You I don't need.

Where can I drop you off?

Uh-uh. No way.

The kid and I are a team.

Where he goes,

I go.

Well, ok, but

you're going to be big, baby.

Really big!

NARRATOR:

And so

Johnny and the bull

lived happily ever after,

and as the legend goes,

if you believe in such things,

they traveled to Hollywood

and went on to star

in such major

motion pictures as...

and, of course...

Hey, a guy's got to

make a living, huh? Hyah!

MAN:

Hello, Johnny.

It's activity time.

There's a rhino hiding

somewhere in this room.

Can you find him

before the kids at home do?

Hey, no problem.

Excuse me.

MAN:

Time's up!

Ha ha ha! I'm right here,

you big, dumb jerk!

Hey, buddy, you seen

any rhinos around here?

I am a tan man.

I am a buttercup.

I'm as sweet

as can be.

Please won't you buy

some cookies from me?

Listen up, kid.

I ain't got the time.

Go on. Bother

somebody else with your rhyme.

I'm selling cookies.

Almost free.

Please won't you buy

some cookies from me?

Hyah! I'm on a diet.

Can't you see? Hyah!

And cookies are

very bad for me.

Now go on, kid.

Just let me be.

I will not buy

any cookies from...

thee.

Thee?

You wish that you

could rhyme like me.

Hyah! Ha! Huh!

Hyah! Huh!

They're not

that expensive.

So, why won't

you buy?

You must think that I'm

a real gullible guy. Hyah!

I don't want no cookies.

They'll turn me to goo.

I'm not going to buy

any cookies from you.

Hyah!

Oh!

Beat it, kid.

I'm making lunch.

How about

some chocolate crispy crunch?

Would you eat them

with a fox?

If the fox

was Courtney Cox.

But since that

is not the case,

get that stuff

on out my face.

Man, this rhyming stuff

really hurts my tongue.

Hopefully

it came today--

the thing for which

I sent away.

Yeah, it's here.

Now all is well.

My jumbo jug

of stud's hair gel.

Johnny,

I'm surprised at you.

For this

you spent $12.92?

That gel won't

do you any good,

but I bet some lemon

sprinkles would.

Would you buy

a peanut swirl,

even from

a little girl?

I will not buy them,

not one box.

I will not eat them

with a fox,

not with bagels

or with lox,

and do not tempt me

with Courtney Cox.

I will not buy

a peanut swirl.

I will not buy it,

little girl.

I want no cookies,

can't you see?

Now get that stuff

away from me!

Aah!

That was close.

A clean escape.

Good thing I am

in such great shape.

Hey there, Miss.

I'm Johnny B.

Want to spend

the day with me?

Sure, I will,

on one condition.

You help me with

my cookie mission.

I will not eat them,

not one box.

I will not eat them

with a fox,

not a crunch

and not a swirl.

I will not buy them,

little girl.

I want no cookies,

can't you see?

Now go away

and let me be.

Hyah!

Hyah!

Hyah!

[ ring ]

Hello.

Would you eat them

on a dare?

No way, kid.

They'll muss my hair.

This place is huge.

I'll go inside.

There's lots of places

I can hide.

I'm a poet,

and I don't know it.

I make a rhyme

every time.

Whoa!

This one's big

and yummy, too.

I'm really getting

sick of you.

Hyah!

Whoa!

I have to say,

it's quite a day.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Feels as though

I hit my head.

Am I alive,

or am I dead?

You're alive.

Don't be afraid.

These go great

with lemonade.

Would you eat them

on a boat?

How about in an overcoat?

Ok, Johnny,

what do you say?

Will you buy

some cookies today?

That's it, kid.

I've had enough.

I'm really sick

of all this stuff.

I don't want cookies.

Can't you see?

Now get your stuff

away from me.

I will not buy them,

not one box.

I will not eat them

with a fox.

I will not buy

a peanut swirl.

I will not buy it,

little girl.

I will not eat them on a boat,

with a goat, or in a coat.

You drive me nuts.

It's really true.

I've really had

enough of you.

You've got until

the count of 3

to go away

and let me be!



[ crying ]



[sobbing ]



Come on, kid.

Oh, man.

Come on, kid,

please don't cry.

If it means that much,

I'll buy. I'll buy.

You will?

I didn't mean

to make you cry.

I'm really not

that bad a guy.

If cookies mean

that much to you,

I'll buy a box.

No, make that 2.

Oh, thank you, Johnny.

You're true-blue.

All folks should have

a friend like you.

No big deal,

my little scout.

I'm glad that I

could help you out.

A buck a box, kid.

Here you go.

Give them here,

and then you blow.

[whistles ]

[train whistle blows ]

What's with the train,

you buttercup, you?

I just wanted



You've got your 2 boxes,

but let me explain.

There's a reason we're using this

great big old train.

See, we pass the savings along

right to you.

For your lousy 2 bucks,

you get a million plus 2.

Bye-bye, Johnny.

Thanks.

♪ La la la la

la la la la ♪

A million and 2 cookies.

Got milk?