01x03 - The Sensitive Male! / Bravo Dooby-Doo

[bunniefuu]

Baby.

Sassy.

Studly. Vroom!

Check the pecs.

Hee-hi-huh!

Man, I'm pretty.

Do the monkey with me.

Come on.

Hey, there, baby.

Oomph! Ah!

Yeah, whatever.

JOHNNY:

Oh, mama!

Hey, there, cutie pants.

Huh! H'yah!

Ho! Ha! H'yah!

Am I as studly as

the statue of David or what?

I'd say you're

as studly as David...Brinkley.

Do you honestly think

women are attracted

to that kind of macho attitude?

I honestly do,

sugar beets.

Hmm. Astounding.

[slurp]

Ohh, pressure.

[ burp]

Bu-bye.

Oh, yeah,

she wants me.

Pardon me, Miss.

Gosh, I'm really not very good

at this sort of thing--

I'm rather bashful

by nature, actually--

but I find you

quite beautiful.

Would you

go out with me?

Oh, aren't you sweet?

Of course I will.

Here's my phone number.

Wait a sec.

That ain't possible!

How'd you

do that, mister?

Do what?

Get that little chick's

phone number.

She wouldn't give it to me,

and look at me.

Huh?

Well, sir, women

like a man with depth.

When I speak to a girl,

I always express my true feelings

in a sensitive way.

- What?

- Beg your pardon?

- What was that word?

- Sensitive.

Now, listen, mister.

I ain't got no time

for you to be talking Greek.

How'd you bag that babe?

Aw, fella, somebody's

got to teach you a thing or two about...

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Show that girl

you really give a "D" ♪

♪ Show her

your mind is occupied ♪

♪ With more than

the pictures in the TV Guide ♪

♪ Show her you've got

a bit of bona fide ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Makes for

a groovy conductivity ♪

♪ The base word "sensitive" ♪

♪ Sensitive ♪

♪ Now, that's

an adjective ♪

♪ Adjective ♪

♪ "I-t-y" is a suffix

they found ♪

♪ To tack on the end

and make it a noun ♪

♪ And that turns sensitive

to sensitivity! ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

♪ Sensitivity ♪

Hey, hold on there,

music boy.

What does grammar

have to do with getting chicks?

Nothing if you're Sly Stallone,

but look here, Johnny

Whoa!

How'd you know my name?

That doesn't matter.

All that matters is that...

♪ Everybody's got a name ♪

♪ Hey, what's

your name? ♪

♪ Your special little

claim to fame ♪

♪ Hey, what's

your name? ♪

♪ I got a pal

whose name is Jim ♪

♪ And when I want to talk to him,

I say, "Hey, Jim!" ♪

♪ That's how he knows

I'm talking to him ♪

Look, mister,

This is getting

really old really fast.

Ok, Johnny.

Come on.

We're going to teach you about

sensitivity.

You like her,

Johnny?

Oh, baby.

She is so fine.

Next lesson,

Johnny observation.

Look,

she's got a pooch.

That gives you

something to talk about.

Keep your eyes

open, Johnny.

♪ Observation is a noun ♪

♪ That means you know exactly

what is going down ♪

♪ Observation is a way ♪

♪ For Johnny and the girl

to start a repartee ♪

♪ Howdy, there,

my beauty ♪

♪ Hello, sir,

how do you do? ♪

♪ Oh, isn't he

a cutie? ♪

♪ But not

as cute as you ♪

♪ See? Observation, Johnny,

it just clears the fog ♪

♪ All I had to do

was notice she had a dog ♪

♪ Observation--

it'll get you far ♪

♪ It'll get that girl out of your dreams

and into your car ♪

♪ Try it, Johnny ♪

Ok, but stand back.

Hey, there,

foxy lady.

Oh, hello.

That's a fine-looking

weenie dog you got there.

Hmm. Thank you.

Say, how about you and me sharing

a soda right now?

Oh! My Fluffy!

Oh, mama!

Runaway weenie dog!

Hubba, hubba, hubba.

I'm coming, Fido.

Got you.

Hmm. She might still

go out with me.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Is there any way

I can repay you?

Well, you could grant me the pleasure

of taking you out to dinner.

Oh! The pleasure's

all mine.

Can I come?

[grr]

Or you could just

bring me back some pie.

Hey, get a look

at that chick at the counter.

I bet if I went over there

and flexed my pecs--

She'd pour

that phosphate down your pants.

Fella, you're too masculine.

You know that?

Why, ain't that like

being too ethical?

Johnny, a woman likes a man who's in

touch with his feminine side.

You got to think

like one of them.

Meaning...

♪ Matching your

shirts and pants ♪

♪ Purely by

winds of chance ♪

♪ Won't leave her

impressed ♪

♪ Poetry by the lake ♪

♪ Baking the girl a cake ♪

♪ Does much more

than beating your chest ♪

♪ Your feminine side, boy,

your feminine side ♪

♪ Whenever you can,

favor Jekyll over Hyde ♪

♪ Let's see

a shellful of female ♪

♪ Cracked open and fried ♪

♪ So you can find

your feminine side ♪

Trust me, Johnny.

Ok.

Hyah.

Excuse me, Miss.

[gasps ]

How'd you like to paint the town red

with a happening hipster?

[laughing ]

Oh, where did I

go wrong?

MAN:

Say, you're kind of pretty,

and we're

on shore leave.

Excuse me just a second.

H'yah! Ho! Hoo! Oh!

Take that, sailor boys.

Man, I can't wait

till next shore leave.

Oh, baby.

I'm going to make

her dreams come true.

H'yah!

And what's your angle?

I'm going to say,

"hey, hot mama,

want to go back to my place for

a game of Twister?"

No, no.

Next lesson, Johnny.

Calling a woman "hot mama" isn't

the way to win her over.

You've got to show her

some respect.

How do I do that?

♪ M-a-n-n-e-r-s ♪

♪ That's the way

to sure success ♪

♪ You don't need

that hairy chest ♪

♪ You need manners ♪

♪ R-e-s-p-e-c-t ♪

♪ She's a lock,

and that's the key ♪

♪ "Thank you," "please,"

and "pardon me" ♪

♪ That's manners ♪

♪ She's your little

sugar dear ♪

♪ So treat her

with respect ♪

♪ Call 800-ATT

instead of just collect ♪

♪ If you try

to flip her wig ♪

♪ Simply just

by talking big ♪

♪ She'll say you're a sexist pig

with no manners ♪

See, Johnny? Now, try it,

and remember, manners.

Use words like "pardon me,"

"if you please,"

and "may I

have the pleasure?"

Pardon me,

hot sexy mama,

if you'd please to take a look

at my studly bod,

then I may

have the pleasure

of you wanting to be

my number-one main squeeze.

Excuse me

while I make a wish.

[ rumbling ]

Buffalo?

Oh! Ooh!

Oh, Johnny,

you did it again.

Um, do you want

to hand me my teeth?

They're over there

by that shoe store.

It ain't for me,

mister.

Maybe you can stand to be sweet and

sensitive all the time,

but that's not my style.

Well, you know, Johnny,

you've got to act polite, thoughtful,

and considerate,

but no one ever said

you got to mean it.

Heck, I'd tell a girl I could turn lead

into gold

if it would get her

to date me.

I'd just be sure to say it in a sincere,

sensitive way.

♪ Tell her what you know

she'll really... ♪

♪ Want to hear ♪

♪ Just be sure

you tell her in a... ♪

♪ Way sincere ♪

♪ Say it with the candor

of a mouseketeer ♪

♪ Keep your eyes

on her face ♪

♪ That's the proper

hemisphere ♪

Come again?

The easiest way to a woman's heart

is sincerity.

If you can fake that,

you've got it made.

♪ You've got it made ♪

♪ You've got it made ♪

♪ The women will flock

like an Easter parade ♪

♪ So much for

flowers and serenades ♪

♪ Learn how to fake it,

learn how to fake it, Johnny ♪

♪ And you've got it made ♪

Boy, you've got it made.

JOHNNY:

Hold up there, fella.

What's the matter,

Johnny?

Oh, hello, ladies.

I can explain.

Really, I...

Hey, girls,

what say we go make a wish?

I think that's

a fine idea.

WOMAN:

Oh, please.

I've never seen anything

quite like that.

Temporary insanity, ladies.

That's what it was.

What a jerk.

[whistling ]

Ahh, it's a beautiful day,

the kind of a day

where nothing can go wrong.

Johnny?

Oh! Oh! Johnny!

You forgot your pants!

Oh, man. I thought

it was kind of drafty.

[ man in car laughing ]

Oh, look at that!

Well, that's a fine

kettle of fish.

[vehicle approaching ]

Hi, there.

My car just broke down,

and I was wondering if you guys

could give me a lift.

I'm on my way to visit

my Aunt Jebidisa,

and I'd sure hate

to be late.

She lives in this spooky house

up on Widow's Peak.

ALL:

Spooky house?!

Jinkies!

"Jinkies"?

Hey, g*ng, what do you say

we give this guy a lift?

"Jinkies"?

Hop in,

stranger.

Don't worry.

I don't bite.

Does she?

Whoa!

Hey, Scoob,

dig this guy's crazy hairdo.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah!

Ha ha ha!

That's her house

right up there.

Oh!

[thunder]

ALL:

Ooh!

Spooky!

Yeah, whatever.

Aunt Jebidisa!

Like, this place

looks deserted.

[spooky voice]

Get out!

[spooky voice growling ]

Zoinks!

Oh, man,

you're pretty.

[spooky voice]

You're not welcome here.

SHAGGY:

Well, it's been

nice knowing you, Johnny.

Uh-huh.

Hang on

a minute, g*ng.

It looks like we're

up to our ascots in a mystery.

A mystery?

[gulp]

Aunt Jebidisa!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Hey, Scoob,

dig this crazy broom closet.

Like, maybe

there's food inside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Get out!

Zoinks!

A ghostly gardener!

BOTH:

Yow!

Aunt Jebidisa!

Oomph!

My glasses!

I can't see without my glasses.

My glasses!

I can't be seen without my glasses!

Jinkies!

Everything's dark.

I've gone blind!

I'm only going

to say this once--

don't...touch...

The glasses!

Zoinks!

You know,

we got to keep meeting like this.

Oh, don't be silly, guys.

It's just a harmless old rake,

but I'll bet it's a clue to your Aunt

Jebidisa's disappearance.

Hey, g*ng, look,

the ghost left

flour on the handle.

Why would a ghost

be covered in flour?

Easy, silly.

Because it's not a ghost.

You understand

what that dog says?

Sure. We all do.

Come on, g*ng.

Let's split up.

Now, hold on

a second there, mister.

We're going after

some creepy ghost person,

and you want us

to split up?

Well, yeah.

Want to get

lost with me?

I'll give you a Scooby snack.

Aah!

Scooby, you and Fred

check upstairs.

Velma and I will look

in the basement.

Daphne.

I mean, Scooby,

you and Velma check upstairs,

and Fred and I

will look in the basement.

Right. Ok, g*ng.

Let's go.

Well, Mr. Bravo,

I guess that leaves us

with the kitchen.

Come on.

Why do I have to get stuck

with Jughead?

Hey, Johnny, check out

this crazy pantry.

[moaning]

Zoinks! Like, it's

the ghostly gardener.

What the...

[groaning ]

Apple core!

Baltimore.

Who's your friend?

Me!

Now, hold on,

everybody.

H'yah hip hoo!

All righty.

♪ Come on, baby,

let's take my car ♪

♪ To the place

where dreams come true ♪

♪ It's a mile

off the interstate ♪

♪ And if you want to dance,

well, that's there, too ♪

♪ At the happy haunted

sunshine house ♪

♪ We can groove ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Well, there's cobwebs ♪

♪ Everyone's dead ♪

♪ But once

the sun shines in ♪

♪ We'll paint

the place red ♪

♪ Don't be ♪

♪ Don't be scared, girl ♪

♪ When we monster mash ♪

♪ It's out of this world ♪

♪ Come on, baby,

kick off your shoes ♪

♪ Wave your hands

from side to side ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪

♪ We'll dunk our heads

in the apple bin ♪

♪ Maybe if you're lucky,

you'll be mummified ♪

[ humming ]

♪ Maybe if you're lucky,

you'll be mummified ♪

Jinkies.

♪ At the happy haunted

sunshine house ♪

Jinkies.

Jinkies-- isn't that a breakfast cereal or

something?

Zoinks! Like, looks like

we're going to get hedged.

Whoa!

What the--

Like, look out below!

Oh, I knew I shouldn't have worn

high heels today.

Don't worry, Daph.

Help is on the way! Oomph!

Good work,

g*ng.

We captured

the ghost!

Now let's see who

the ghostly gardener really is.

ALL:

Professor Hyde-white!

Where's my

Aunt Jebidisa, you big freak?

Wait a second.

ALL:

Harry the hypnotist?

Harry the hypnotist?

It can't be.

ALL:

Bigfoot?

Don Knotts?

Joe Barbera?

Who is that?

All right, all right.

Enough with the silly masks.

Holy...

Aunt Jebidisa!

It was you

all along.

But--but why?

I was trying to

scare you away, Johnny,

because, quite frankly,

I just don't like you.

What do you mean, auntie?

You are an embarrassment

to the family name.

Does that mean I can't

come visit anymore?

Ooh, I was almost

rid of him,

and I would

have done it, too,

if it hadn't been

for you meddling kids.

Gosh, Aunt Jebidisa.

We're sorry.

Like, we didn't

mean any harm.

Is there anything we can do to make it

up to you?

Well...

Oh, man. This rope

is really binding my pits.

Now, let's have some fun.

How about it, handsome?

[laughing ]

Like...

[gulp]

Scooby-dooby-doo!

[ muttering and sputtering ]

Hey, pal, hop in.

I'll give you a lift.

[muttering

and sputtering]