01x24 - The Old Man

[bunniefuu]

Cleo ( laughing ): we do.

Theo: oh, yeah, right, we do.

Woman: ♪ hey, now... ♪

♪ Hey, wow... ♪

♪ Here's how ♪

♪ Come and read ♪

♪ Between the lions ♪

Chorus: ♪ come on ♪

♪ Come in ♪

♪ Begin ♪

♪ The world awaits ♪

Woman: ♪ between the lions ♪

♪ Between the covers of a book ♪

♪ It's time to look between the lions ♪

♪ Behold the tales beyond the tails ♪

Chorus: ♪ behind the door ♪

♪ Become, explore ♪

♪ Come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪

Man: it's babs caplan!

It is her, isn't it?

Theo: find everything you need there, robert?

Good, good.

Ooh, watch your heads!

I'll have to come back for those.

Young man, young man

Isn't that the fabulous writer, babs caplan?

Ooh, why, yes, yes, it is.

She often comes here to murmur and gesture.

Both?

Oh, my word...

Kevin, come quickly.

Look at-- I can't believe it.

It's babs caplan!

Oh, cleo, look!

She's fabulous!

Oh, look how she's being a writer.

Oh!

Sorry.

And the paper-- oh, she's so good.

( Sighs )

Next time I'll wear a hard hat when I come into this library.

Everyone, come quickly!

Is everything all right, ms. Caplan?

I am done!

My latest story is... Complete.

That's all?

I thought that something was wrong.

You had us worried.

"That's all"?!

Why, this...

Being worried doesn't make you hungry, does it?

Hmm, a little.

Oh, but we just ate.

Good.

"That's all"?!

Why, this could be

The greatest story anyone's ever written.

Uh, ms. Caplan, could we be the first

To hear the greatest story ever written?

Please?

Why, yes... I think you're worthy.

Oh, how exciting-- cleo...

Gather round, gather round.

( Squealing, then clearing throat )

( Loud crash )

Let's find someplace else to read, okay?

Yes, good idea, ms. Caplan.

I think... Follow me.

I'm walking, I'm walking...

( Confusion of voices )

Okay?

Others: mm-hmm. Yes. Okay.

"The old man" by babs caplan.

( Thunder, wind blowing )

Babs:

It's all right, leona.

What...

What was the story he told, ms. Caplan?

Babs:

Leona: old man... Another story...

( Shivering ): oh...

( Chuckling )

Babs:

"It was a dark and stormy night..."

( Laughing )

( Crashes )

( Snickering, chuckling )

What, what...

What is so funny?

Yes, what?!

Sorry, no offense.

I wrote a scary story, not a funny one.

Well, it started out scary, but then...

( Laughing ): it got funny.

( Mocking scary music )

No, no, lionel

It was scary the whole time.

Oh, the old man...

The... The thunder...

The window, the curtains...

( Screams )

I like scary.

While it's always gratifying to terrify a child

I want to appeal to a broader market.

Oh, where did I go wrong, where?

You know, babs

A good story should have

A beginning, a middle and an...

( Interrupting )

I'm thinking.

Hmm, this story, it must contain too much funny...

And not enough... Scary!

Yes, oh!

I can fix that.

Less funny, more scary.

Less funny, more scary...

More scary?

Yes!

Scatter, scatter!

Artiste at work.

I need room...

Room, oh, right you are.

I'll go... This way.

Cleo: come along, dear.

Huh? What?

Oh, oh, oh, sorry.

Announcer: and now, another old man, barnaby b. Busterfield iii

Has a story to tell.

Oh, thank you.

There once...

We interrupt this story

To bring you something much more interesting.

What?!

And now, lovers of the vowels "a," "e," "i," "o," "u"

And sometimes "y"

Give it up for martha reader and the vowelles

Singing the short "a" sound from their smash word, "fan"!

( Singing repeated short "a" sound to soul tune )

( Song ends; cheering and applause )

( Sounding out words in computer-generated voices )

( Repeating "r" sound )

Oh...

( Repeating "r" sound )

( Making short "a" sound )

Ra... Ra...

( Making "m" sound )

Ram, "ram."

( Crashing )

And now, fun with chicken jane.

Today:

Woman ( singing ):

( Squawks )

( Clucking )

( Squawking in alarm )

( Squawking )

( Sounding out word )

"Sc... Ram."

"Scram!"

Dot:

( Squawks loudly )

( Crashing )

( Squawks sadly )

( Squawks pitifully )

( Sighs )

Come quickly!

Everyone, come!

Quickly.

We're coming.

Here we are.

What is it, ms. Babs caplan?

I have made my story scarier--

Much, much scarier.

Ooh, that's good.

I hope you're ready.

Oh, I'm ready.

No, no, no... We need some atmosphere.

Click!

Mouse centering on command.

Click, could we have some scary music, please?

Initiating scary underscore.

( Scary music playing )

Babs ( in scary voice ): "the scary old man"...

( In normal voice ): by babs caplan.

Oh, it's scary already.

( Thunder, demonic laughter )

Babs:

( Fighting back laughter )

( Laughing uproariously )

"It was a dark...

And stormy and scary..."

( Laughing ): oh, golly...

Oh, what's everybody laughing at?

It wasn't scary.

Oh, well, actually it...

No.

No.

But I said about eight "scarys."

Narrative contained precisely seven "scarys"

Including the title.

The "scarys" made it funnier!

( Laughing )

"Funny" does not compute.

No, the "scarys" made it scarier.

Thank you, child, but...

I just have to face it, scary is not my oeuvre.

What else can I write?

What, what?

Oh, babs, there are

Lots of different stories you could write

Like, um... Action!

Action, yeah!

( Growling )

Leona!

What are you doing?

( Muttering )

( Chuckling )

Or... Adventure!

Oh...

Or... Romance.

Oh...

( Sniffs )

( Sneezes )

( Giggling )

Or science fiction.

Science fiction?

Yeah, alien creatures from another planet

With sprims on their heads

And we could get breels from the blalalalaling planet!

Yeah, and creatures from, um...

Another planet.

Another planet.

Babs: another planet?!

Yes, that's it, that's it!

Scatter, scatter, artiste at work.

And this time, why not try having

A beginning, middle and an end?

Yes.

Nice touch, cleo.

Oh, I'll see if I can work it in.

Both: good.

Ever tell you about my rose allergy?

Cleo: no.

And now, another old man, barnaby b. Busterfield iii

Has a story to tell.

Oh, thank you.

There once...

We interrupt this story

To bring you something much more interesting.

What?!

Ladies and gentlemen

The fabulous vowelles and the fantastic johnny consonanti

Will blend the ( making short "a" sound ) sound

Of the vowel "a" with the ( making "n" sound ) sound

Of the consonant "n"

In a smashing performance of their hit word, "an"!

( Singing short "a" sound )

( Makes "n" sound )

( Music builds and ends )

( Wild applause and cheering )

And now arty smartypants will read four words

Without any assistance whatsoever!

Thank you.

May I have a "build the excitement" drum roll, please?

( Drum roll, applause )

Thank you.

Okay.

"An"...

"Pan"...

"Plan"...

"Planet."

"An," "pan," "plan" and "planet."

Thank you.

( Applause )

Audience: look out!

It's okay.

My smartypants are padded.

( Thud )

Ooh!

Ooh...

Arty! Arty! Arty!

( Footsteps echoing )

( Gasps )

Greetings!

Salutations!

Hola!

Hello!

Hi!

( Chuckles )

Heath the thesaurus here

With ten diminutive, small, short, itty-bitty

Little tiny words that pop up

In just about anything you want to read or write.

( Laughs )

( Music featuring saxophone playing )

( Singing )

♪ Ten small words got to learn by sight. ♪

♪ They're ten small words for to read and write ♪

♪ Golly, gee, here's "the" and "to" ♪

♪ Mercy, me, here's "a" and "you" ♪

♪ "In" is a winner anyone could love ♪

Hey!

♪ Tip your hat to "that" and "and" ♪

♪ "It" is a hit and "is" is grand ♪

♪ And there's no word I'm fonder of than "of" ♪

♪ Let me tell you now... ♪

♪ Read these words every chance you can, oh... ♪

♪ Ten small words, and I'm their biggest fan ♪

♪ Ten small words, and I'm their biggest fan. ♪

( Song ends )

Yeah!

( Chuckling )

( Crowd cheering )

Gawain: excellent!

Gawain here once again at blending fields

Where two brave knights in armor

Will charge together at high speed and make a word.

Competing today, we have sir "d"...

( Crowd cheers )

And on your right, sir "ance."

( Cheering )

Blend on, dudes!

( Crowd cheering )

Gawain: "dance"! Excellent!

That's gawain's word for today.

And this is gawain saying

Don't forget to dance by again.

See you next time on...

And now, broadway legends faith prince and walter bobbie

Will sing the sound of the letter "a" in the word "ham."

( Singing short "a" sound )

( Harmonizing on short "a" sound )

( Both speak short "a" sound back and forth )

( Both laughing )

( Audience cheering, applauding and whistling )

Aren't they smashing?

Chorus: ♪ what's cooking with theo and cleo ♪

♪ Check out what's cooking! ♪

Ham!

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.

( Sniffing )

Clam, whoo, yeah.

( Sniffing )

Y-y-yam!

Whoa.

( Sniffing )

Oh, cleo!

Whoa, cleo, my little meat dumpling.

( Kissing )

Let's get started.

Oh, right away, theo, my wildebeest jerky.

Whoa...

What's cooking today is...

( Cleo cracks pointer )

Cleo:

My favorite.

( Chuckles )

Cleo: one-- ( cracks pointer )

"Get rid of the yam and clam."

Good-bye, yam.

Good-bye, clam.

( Slurps )

Mmm...

Two--

( Cracks pointer )

"Slam the ham."

Ham...

( Chuckling )

( Groaning )

( Loud thunk )

( Panting )

Slammed.

Oh, theo

You are so big and strong, my love.

Whoo...

( Chuckles )

Three--

( Cracks pointer )

"Ram the ham."

All righty.

Okay.

Ram the ham!

( Grunts )

( Groans )

Hmm.

Four--

( Cracks pointer )

"Cook the slammed and rammed ham

For ten minutes."

Only ten minutes?

Well, that's what the recipe says.

Well, maybe just this once we could...

Both: nah!

( Chomping )

And now, once again, it's time for the adventures of sam spud

Parboiled potato detective.

Potato: the name is spud, sam spud.

I was working late one night.

The "flash, flash" of the neon sign outside my window

Was about to drive me crazy

When there was a knock at my door...

Who's there?

Gruff voice: binini.

Binini?

What's a "binini"?

Oh, I get it.

Those vowels shouldn't be is, they should be as.

"Banana," not "binini."

Who's there?

Banana.

That's better.

Banana who?

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

"Orange" you glad I didn't say "banana"?

The guy thought he was being funny.

I told him if he had something juicy, he'd better spill it.

Suddenly, it all came gushing out of him.

As a matter of fact...

Uh-oh...

( Coughing and gurgling )

Oh, dear!

Boy: mom!

There's a talking potato and he's got no mouth

And he's doing knock-knock jokes.

Mom: that's okay, dear.

It's educational television.

I'm sure it will help you in school somehow.

The "un" people.

Weary of all the rhinos sliding down her banister

Unflappable little monica maxwell has packed them all

Into a gigantic travel sack.

But wait a minute.

What's this?

Oh, no!

It's the evil "un" people.

They're putting an "un" in front of the word "packed."

Monica's sack has become unpacked.

Those dreaded rhinos are loose again.

But be not sad, little monica.

The heroic "re" people are here.

Look!

They've rerounded up the dreaded rhinos

And repacked them in monica's travel sack.

Thank you, "re" people.

You're fabulous!

( Scribbling furiously )

Ah! Done.

Come quickly!

Everyone come! Quickly!

( Screams )

We're here.

Did you write a science fiction story?

( Grumbles )

I didn't write a science fiction story.

( Lions groan )

I wrote the greatest science fiction story ever written.

Wow!

Hey, how about that, huh?

We need some atmosphere.

Hey, that's my line!

Mmm...

Cue science fiction theme.

( Eerie music begins )

Babs: "the old man from another planet"...

( Echoing ): planet... Planet... Planet...

By babs caplan.

( Eerie singing )

Cubs: cool!

( Thunder )

Babs ( reading aloud ):

( Wind whistling )

I think I know what happens next.

Shh! I don't.

( Wind whistling )

"The end."

Shocked you, didn't i?

Yeah!

My story had a beginning, a middle and a shocking end.

Well... That's true.

It is?

Yeah.

My greatest triumph!

Thanks to your astute input.

I am dedicating my story to theo and cleo.

Applause for theo and cleo!

Yay!

No, no, it's not necessary.

Not necessary at all.

Then I'll dedicate it to me.

Both: much better.

Oh, this is only the beginning.

Next I'll write a western book--

Yes, the old man from out west.

And then an historical book-- the old caveman.

And then a trashy book--

The old garbage man.

Of course!

Oh, oh-oh-oh! You know what?

When I grow up, I'm going to be a writer just like babs caplan.

Oh...

Theo, cleo and lionel: just like babs caplan?!

Well, almost just like her.

Listen, listen, listen to this.

( Clears throat )

"It was a bright and sunny day

"And the young cub had a story to tell

And this is the story she told."

Both: very good, leona.

No, no, wait-- I'm not finished yet.

I'm not finished.

"It was a bright and sunny day

"And the young cub had a story to tell

And this was the story she told..."

And now, another old man, barnaby b. Busterfield iii

Back once again, with a story to tell.

There once was a... Man...

Hmm.

A great man, who knew what he wanted and always got it

And that man's name was barnaby b. Busterfield iii.

Announcer: the end.

What?!

No, that's just the beginning!

I just... Aah, never mind!

There are games and stories at the between the lions web site:



Theo: reading to children every day creates warm family memories

And it helps them become better readers.

Help a child get wild about reading.

Be a designated reader.

( Laughing )

Hi, dad!

I'm ready to get wild.

♪ ♪ ♪



Chorus: ♪ between the lions... ♪

♪ Between the lions... ♪

Woman: ♪ come in between the lions ♪

♪ Begin between the lions ♪

♪ Be here between the lions! ♪