18x04 - This is the Most Stupid Day Ever

[bunniefuu]

Previously on the "The Amazing Race"


Australian Outback to Tokyo, Japan.

A car accident put Jaime and Kara
in the last place from the start.

Oh, my God. I definitely hit something.

Justin's sharp sh**ting at the roadblock
and sharp eyes at the detour...



led them to another first place finish.

You are team number one!
Yeah!

When darkness fell Mel and Mike
struggled in the cold weather.

Lord help me.
I am freezing.

Dad, get in the car.
Are you all right?

Yes, yes. I'm okay.

Giving Jaime and Kara the
opportunity that they needed

to pull ahead as the
father and son came in last.

I am sorry to tell you you
are the last team to arrive

and you both have been
eliminated from the race.

Nine teams remain.
Who'll be eliminated next?



First the mouth of Tokyo
Bay, one of the most

important military
seaports in the country,

and has long been the home
of America's 7th Fleet.

And in the heart of the city
Commodore Perry's landing.

Built in 1901 to honor the
opening of trade with aAmerica,

this monument was the third pit
stop in a race around the world.

Zev and Justin, who were the first
to arrive, will depart at 8:44 p.m.

"Make your way to
the city of Lejing China"

Teams must

make their way to Jade Dragon Mountain
where they will find their next clue.

Due to limited availability they
must take a provided mandatory flight

from Tokio to

travel to Li Jang.






There are a lot of people in China.
I am not much of a people person.

Basically had to do little but sit

in the back seat of a
car and cruise around.

I was good at it.
Really good at it.

Really good at it.

I don't like this
blue moon valley river.

When it is my turn to
step up, that is what I will do.



We have a long night ahead of us.
Our flight leaves at 9:50.

"Make your way to the
city of Li Jang, China"

Ok, let's go.

"Make your way to the
city of Li Jang, China"

Great.
We are so excited. We speak chinese.

Both my dad and I have
been to Li Jang already.

I think we spent three
legs in China in the last race.

I called a deaf guy a bitch.

Bitch.
Wow.

She called you a bitch. Jen.

I do apologize for that.

"Make your way to Li Jang, China"

China,

Let's go to China.

See you there.
Awesome.

You want to drive?
Golly.

Everything is backwards here.

Where we going? Where we going?

"Make your way to the
city of Li Jang, China"

Let's go! Yes!
Ready?

Leaving today in seventh place.

Lucky seven. We are ready for the leg,
no matter how rough and ferocious it is.

P.M.A.
Positive mental attitude.

Try it.

That is not ours.

Did somebody steal our car?

All right. Come on.


"Make your way to Li Jang, China"

Vyxsin, come back.


Vyxsin! Come back.
This is a race.

Here it is.
Get in the car and try to pop it.

I don't know how
Do you know how to open the door?


Just open the door.

I was pushing lock.
Well, don't do that.


All right.

Ok. Let's go.
Calm it down.

So much for P.M.A.

This is the most stupid day
ever and we are just starting it.

Ok. One more time.

"Make your way to the city of Li Jang"

Last time we went to China is one of
the most miserable days of my life.

My god.

This is why I did not want
to go to China. It sucks.

This time it is a fresh, new start.

We are at the airport,


Can finally drop off these
cars and get inside the airport.



Let's go.

Me to go left?
Go straight.

We have to go a ways down this thing.
Do you want to go left here?

Yeah, go left here.

I can't think, Kent. I can't even
think. I don't know what is going on.


You don't need to be the navigator.

What is the highway we
are supposed to get on?



I am just going back to the 16th.
We have to take the highway.

We will never make it in time.
There is no highway for us to get on.

There is no highway.

We are good. We are so
good, Jaime. Excellent.

I don't know where the herd is.


The only team we have not
seen yet is Kent and Vyxsin.

Yeah.

I don't think anybody
knows where they are at yet.

I just want to find it
so badly. I am so sorry.

I woke up and I was so happy,

We ripped open the
clue and I lost my mind.

You are doing such a great job.
Look, look, look, Tokyo.

All right. We are on
the highway to Tokyo.

I am so proud of you, honey.

Right now we are checking
in for our flight.

I wouldn't be paranoid at this point the
flight is another three hours from now.

Where are Kent and Vyxsin?

Its really literally it is
a million dollar question.

Literally it is a
million dollar question.



I really thought we were almost there.

What is the issue?
I don't know.

I don't understand where anything is.
We think we know what we are doing.

No freaking way. We went the wrong way.

No we didn't.

We are so far away right now.

We have been going the
wrong way this entire time.

What is wrong with me. I don't
know why I have been staring

at this compass an hour
watching it go the wrong way.

It has taken you this long
to say something is up.




Bye bye "The Amazing Race"

We are screwed. We are so screwed.

I have been staring at
this map, like staring at it

and looking at this thing
and going this is not right.


I konw, we are going the wrong way.

This drive in Japan was
like a horrific deja vu.

It was strikingly similar

I don't know where to go. I don't
understand what is going on.

We are not doing too
well on time right now.

It is about 9:00 and the
flight leaves at 9:50.

We are not go to make
the flight, Kent.

Vyxsin, we can't give up.

"The Amazing Race" is about
tragedies and also about miracles.

Thank you.

We are in the airport and
our flight is boarding.

It is hard to believe that Kent and
Vyxsin would have missed that flight.

There is no excuse.

It should have happened.

I love you so much for never quitting.

That is one of my
favorite things about you.

We just saw a sign for Narita
airport. The first one we were seen.

We were given ample time to
get to the airport in Japan.

There is no reason on the earth
any sane person would not have

made it to the flight on time.
We knew we made a big mistake.

Ok, let's get our stuff
and see what will happen.


We had a flight booked that we missed.


Kunming, China.

We have a flight in the afternoon.
+

We are on our way to Kunmimg.

We are going to get
there. Things might be ok.

From Kunming we are
trying to decide if we

would rather take the
train or the plane.


We are going to do some research.

We were going to take a
flight tomorrow at 7:00 a.m.

But we had a gentleman
through his internet

found that there are two
trains leaving tonight.

One at 8:50, the other is at 10:16.

We hope we could at least
get tickets on those.

Are you guys doing the train?
We don't know yet.

We have to get our money first.

Let's get the hell out of here.

We are in the Kunming Railway Station

and got tickets on the
train that leaves earliest.

We hope we keep the advantage.
Yeah.



Where is the train station?


Do you have a ticket to Li Jang?




We missed that by 10 minutes.
Everybody did.

We got all of the teams but two.

Kent and Vyxsin are nowhere to be found.

And Ron and Christina might
have gotten the earlier train.

Knowing Kent and Vyxsin are
object this train and innocent

China make this is hard
sleeper a little bit softer.

We just arrived. Very sleepy
here in Kunming, China.

The airport closes down
in the middle of the night.

We couldn't exercise
a train or bus

We have to find somewhere
to hang out in the meantime.

Over here.

Now we are on our way


My dad is making a pit stop
to get warm chinese buns.

Breakfast staples
that I grew up with.


This is very nutritious stuff.


My dad loves food.


Delicious.

That didn't take long.


Now my dad is now satisfied.

Thank you. Ok.


There is a clue.

No. It is a marked shuttle, daddy.



We are on the shuttle but it looks
like it does not leave until 8:00.

There is no driver.

We are right now in the Kunming
Airport. Morning flight to Lijang.

Two tickets. Do
you have your passport?

It is not here.
Go to the ticket office.

I asked if you had your
passport and you said yes.

Vyxsin, I am going to sh**t you.


I am going to sh**t you.
I am going to sh**t you.



Off to Lijang.

Straight ahead.
Go that way. That way. Sorry.

There are the other teams.


We are here. There it is.
The marked shuttle bus.

Now we are giving times for
all of the teams to catch up.

Hey guys, welcome.
Morning.

Hello.
Stop. Stop.

They are about to take off.

Kent and Vyxsin making me feel good.

Jade Dragon Mountain.
We have to get in here.

Maybe once we get up there
we will see the other teams.




It has been days since
we have seen anyone.

Hilarious.

What the hell?


Looking out the window
I think we saw mules.

We about to go in that water.
Zev get ready to get wet and cold.


There is a yak.


There is the clue box.

Stop. Stop.
Sorry.

Clue is up here.
That's the way daddy. Good job.

Over here, dad...


The yak is an indispensible part
of life in this part of China.

Hundreds of tourists
come from the big cities

to ride the yaks and
take pictures with them.



Teams must promptly saddle a yak
and ride it across a precarious

section of the river where they
will receive their next clue.



We weren't yaking around.
We got along good with the yak.

Cord! Don't hit the yak.

I feel like I am riding in a parade.



All right. All right. Get on?

My gosh, look up there.
God, it is amazing.

Jaime, you look great.
Thank you very much.

Jaime!

Thank you.
Thank you.


I got a bucking one.

Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.

Yeah daddy, whoo!

I can't believe I am
riding a yak in China now.

Route info.

Teams must ride a gond lato an
elevation 3,000 feet above sea level

and find spruce meadow
where their next clue awaits.


We are the first team out.

Give me your hand.

Right here.




I almost just blacked out.

We need to take it easy.


That sprint even to the gond
la, I could feel the altitude.

You look like...

What?
Faster, faster!

We are here.
All right.

There. There.

I am even from Colorado and
the altitude is kicking my butt.

Altitude is no joke.
I need to breathe.

I cannot run at that pace.


The altitude is really high.
I am getting dizzy.

Roadblock.
Roadblock.

Living a charmed life.

According to legend,
Buddha challenged the


chinese zodiac to a race.

And their position on
the zodiac chart reflects

the order in which they
got to the finish line.

Now that mythic race is
about to happen again.

In this scenic spruce forest

team members must search
among tens of thousands

of charms for the 12 animals
of the chinese zodiac.

Once they have found all
of the animals and put them

in the correct order they
will receive their next clue.

Luke.
What do you think?


I am up for whatever.

I will do it.


"Who thinks they are
living a charmed life?"

That sounds like you.
Want me to do it?

Charmed life.
No.

I think it might be easy.

Daddy.
Ok. You do it then.

Keep your eyes peeled, buddy.

This is tough, you know. There
are so many to search through.

I do not know all of
the signs of the zodiac.

It is all the animals.

My mom made me memorize it
since I was a little kid.

Here is a cow. A monkey.




Monkey!



Rooster?

Rooster.

Dragon. You know where it is at?
That way? Ok. He said this way.

There is a clue box. Here it is.

Saddle a yak. Good job, Vyxsin.

Ride that yak. Yes, yes, yes.


















Luke, look at mine.
The order. The order.

C'mon Mal!



Teams must locate the marked
buses and travel to old town Lijang

where they will
and get their next clue.

You did a great job.
All I did is sit there.

We are first.
Mallory smoked through that thing.

Daddy, I got it.
Ok.

Luke got it.
Jen, how many more do you need?

One.
Come on, baby.

I caught a glimpse of
Zev's elmer fudd hat.

He kind of ans what he is
looking for at this point.




Go Cara, good job, Cara.

You got it Jen.
Where are you rabbit?

Got you.
Way to work Big Easy.

I am coming Fligh Time!
Pace yourself!

I am coming Fligh Time!
Pace yourself!

I am coming.

Jen, you got it. Detail. Detail.

Zev, you don't give up, man.
I can't find them.

God!
How many you got Big Easy?

Yeah, baby. Let me get through.

Just checking my order.
Snake.

Thank you. There we go.

You got it Cara.
Jaime, get my bag. Let's go.

I need that dammed rabbit.
I think she got it.


Good job, Jen. Good job. Good job.

Good job. Good job.

I am sure he is looking
as quick as he can.

Definitely bringing up the rear here.

Good job, Vyxsin. Good
job. Little faster.

Rabbit. Rabbit.
Zev, what are you doing?




Here you go.

Hand me that clue, baby. That's it.

"Exit the valley, ride the gond
lato the station at the top"

Come on Zev, keep moving, buddy.

Good job,


We haven't done a
detour or roadblock yet.



Unbelievable.
Everybody is left but Kent and Vyxsin.

Zev, you have to move quicker.
I can't find it man!

Move you feet, man.
We are in a race here.

Thanks!
Zev, do not give up. Come on!

Come on, Zev. Keep moving buddy.



Get it?
Yeah. I have to hang my charms.

Like this?
No.

What do you mean, no?
Zev, don't get frustrated, man.

We are flying under the radar.

Did you just see Kent and Vyxsin?
I just seen Kent and Vyxsin.

Here we go. Let's go to the front.
I don't think they are.

Yeah, I see it.




I am so excited to be first.
Express pass is a plus for us.

It adds a whole layer of comfort
knowing we have that express pass.

We are having fun, me
and my dad, in China.



There is right there.
Where? Oh my God!

That is a bus.

Let's go. That is all you, baby.

I don't think this is right.
Let's just see where it goes.

It says marked bus. It is a bus.

This is not a bus. Buses have doors.

We want to go back to
the station at the bottom.



Let's go.


How about now? Fantastic!

I hope Kent and Vyxsin are
way back there somewhere.

"Who thinks they are
living a charmed life?"

Hey Zev, look!
What?!

You might be good at this.
Charms are like puzzles.




Zev, look!
What?!


Kent Vyxsin are here!

Ok.


We are still in it.


Our car broke down. We had car
trouble and we missed the flight.

So the flight that you took is not the
flight that you were supposed to take.

No.

We were really unsure if
we would get a time penalty.

It is like a poker game.

You don't tell the other players
what cards you have good or bad.

You have to keep them to yourself
until you can utilize them.

Come on, Vyxsin.

Kent and Vyxsin just showed up, putting
the pressure on big time. It is tough.

Now I am starting to panic a little bit.

What are you doing? You can't take mine.

I am not taking yours, just looking.
No! Go over there and look.


Why does it have to be a bus?

We are going to go up there and
waste a good 45 minutes on this thing.






There is the marked green bus.
Can you stop it? You can stop?

Stop! Stop! Stop!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Hey!
Stop!

Wait!
Daddy, hurry!

Hurry. Hurry.
Wait. Wait.

Thank you so much. I know it was you.

What happened?
We got on the wrong bus.

Thank you. I know it was you guys.


Thank you so much.


Tiger.

Dragon.
Rabbit.


Horse.

I have 9 of
the 12. Monkey.

All right. I can do this.
Dog. Pig!

That's correct. What do you mean?

So far I have 9 of the 12.
And now?!

Zev, what is going on?
He won't give me the clue!

We are here. We are here.

Over here, dad.
Thank you.

"What is your sign?"

Each teammate must now locate
his or her chinese zodiac sign,

write a wish on a piece
of paper and deposit

it into the slot to
receive their next clue.

"You must verbally
announce your sign"

Yours is Ox. What is mine? I
don't know. Rooster, I think.

You have to write your
wish and deposit it.



Quick.
Here is rooster.

You are an Ox.

Rooster. Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Detour.

In this detour, teams have to learn
how to control one of two things

The choice, hammer or horn.

In homer teams must pulverize molten
canned in the traditional method.

Once they prepared the candy the

confectioner will give
them their next clue.

In horn,

teams make their way to the
square and must pick up a long,

cumbersome, ceremonial horn
and lead a precession of dancers

to the palace where they
will get their next clue.

Candy. What do you think? Candy. Yep.

Candy, yep, yep, yep.


Daddy, I see it.

"What is your sign?"
"What is your sign?"

My dad is an Ox. I am a rooster.

"What is your sign?"



You have to say "Ox"
when you put it down.

Ox. Rooster.

"Detour, horn or hammer"
We are going to do hammer.

World happiness.

That a boy.
Thank you.

Horn or hammer. Let's do the hammer.

Monkey.

Not a monkey. First of all, I wish
I knew what my zodiac sign was.

Horse.

Snake.

Dragon. Rabbit. Tiger.

Right here, Kisha.

"What is your sign?"
"What is your sign?"

I am a snake.

I wish you would give me the answer.
I am a rat.

Yes.

Detour, horn or hammer. Let's do hammer.

I am a horse.
And I am a dog.

I wish to win the race.

Horn or hammer.
Do the horn.

We will do the horn.

I am a tiger. I am a goat.
I am a snake. I am a rooster.

I am a goat.

Yeah. That's right.

There is something wrong


I have two goats on here.

I had two goats. I need a horse.
Zev, you got to run, buddy.

I just feel I am not
going to get anywhere.

How about now.


Thank you.
Yeah!

Good work, buddy. Good work.

That was terrible but
you stuck it out.

Good work. You finished it.
That is all that matters.

I don't know what the
hell just happened.



I am so confused.
Sorry.

Ok. We are still in this thing.
I had two goats instead of a horse.

That is the problem?

I am so confused and dizzy. I
don't know what I am doing.

That little pink kitten
is trying her best.

I don't get it, sorry.

I am a rooster.

I am a dragon.


That was terrible. Detour.

Horn or hammer.
The horn.

Let's do that one.
Let's lead the people.

Let's get this done. Come on dad.
I am with you. I am right behind you.

Can I get my yogurt?
No. After the task.

But these are live fish.
Daddy, we are going.

We are not eating fish.


Daddy, no!


I am tired.

Daddy!
Can we take the tram?

No!

Here it is.
Here it is right here.

Hammer, yes.


Right here. Here it is.
We are ready for our candy.

I need to make some candy for a
change. All of the candy that I eat.

There is hammering going down over here.

There are the cowboys, come on.


Get all of your frustration out.

This is good stuff.
Dad!



I can't keep this extended the
whole time. There is no way.



We are just trying to stay in
front of Kent and Vyxsin right now.

It is so stupid.

I just never thought of myself as
a stupid person until this race.

I don't understand what I am
doing ever because I am dumb.

I don't get it. I am so
upset. I am so stupid.

I don't get it.

Pretty much our only hope is
catching up with Justin and Zev.

Oh, my God. That is 12.

Come on, Vyxsin. Come on.
Come on. You can do it.

Please, please, please.

Right here, Zev. Right here.


I just got stuck.


We will go head-To-Head with them
any day. And we have the lead.

At least you did not give up on it.

All right.



We are ready.
Good.

Bring it to the cutting board.
We are ready.

Ok.

Stop!


This good? Thank you.


"Rute info: Make your
way to the top"

Teams must make their way to the

eternal tower.

Rising high above the old town this is
the pit stop for this leg of the race.

The last team to check
in here may be eliminated.

"Last team may be eliminated"

All right.
Thank you.

"The last team to check
in may be eliminated"

Daddy, I will do it.
Please let me do it.




How are you going to put it in there?


You are so ungraceful.
You are so ridiculous.


I don't want to talk.

"Make your way to the top"

Ok. Daddy, get dressed please.

Stop eating, get dressed.

You can eat at the pit stop!

Wenchang Palace? Wenchang?



Let's do it.


It is like burning me.

Ok. I see it. What is your
sign? I am a goat. You are a dog.



Mine will be to live a long, happy life.

I am a goat.
I am a dog.

Thank you very much.

Detour. Horn or hammer.
Horn.

Ok. We are going to do horn.

She's got it.

Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, good job.

Come down with me. I can't stand.

Lijang, old town.

Let's go.

English, anyone speak english?
Go.

These steps keep going up?
I have no idea, man.

Wait. Wait.

Keep going up.


Over here. Over here.

Welcome to Lijang, China.
Thank you.

Marge and Luke you are
the first team to arrive.

I have good news for you,

you have won a trip for two from
Travelocity and will be going to Aruba.



while there you will take
a private submarine ride

and a jeep safari tour
plus a relaxing massage.

You can enjoy that after the race.
But right now you are still racing.

No!
You are still racing.

Rip and read it.

You don't know what I
want to say right now.



and I couldn't find it.
There are so many.

Jet and Cord, you guys keep on racing.
Sweet.

Gary and Mallory you are still racing.
Oh thats...!

You are the fourth team to
arrive, but you are still racing.

My god.

Kisha and Jen, you are still racing.

Flight Time and Big Easy,
you are still racing.

Jaime and Cara, you are still
racing. Here is your next clue.

Still have time to catch
up. We are still in the game.

Odds are against us but the
pink and black attack is ready.

It is not going that well.

We are not all that convinced
we are headed to the right place.

We are just trying to get it done
and let the chips fall where they may.

The fanny pack is gone.

We have to turn around.
What?

We have to turn around.
We have to turn around.

Kent lost the fanny pack.



The fanny pack has everything, passport,
all of the money and everything.

He lost something very important.

We have to go back. Stop the
bus. No! You have to go back.

He can't turn around
on this road right here.

If it is in the gond LA, it if
it is in the gond LA, it is gone.

Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.

Next week on the The Amazing Race...

As the race continues, will Kent
and Vyxsin find their loss passports?

It was left on the gondola.
You will never see that bag again.

And the race heats up as the
teams approach the double u turn.




I think we are the first ones here.