15x12 - Wigloose: The Rusical!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "RuPaul's Drag Race". Aired: February 2, 2009 – present.*
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
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15x12 - Wigloose: The Rusical!

Post by bunniefuu »

You will be performing stand-up
in front of a live audience.

I bet they get so white,
they say,

"Can I speak to the manager,
please?"

Anyway... wait, what were we...

What were we talking about
again?

Well...

I'm feeling a little bad
for them at this point.

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.

I'm finally a B cup.

Just wasn't funny enough.

Sasha and Anetra.

I wanted more confidence,
which is weird.

You're Sasha Colby, girl.
I want more from you.

Loosey and Luxx.

You were so funny.

You are both the winners
of this week's challenge.

[both scream]

Anetra, shantay, you stay.

Marcia, sashay away.

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

Ay-yi-yi.

We are back in the Werkroom,

and Marcia, Marcia, Marcia's
going home, home, home.

She should have been home
a long time ago, to be honest.

Instead of me being in the
bottom some of those times,

it definitely
could have been Marcia.

So sorry, girl.
I love you.

"You know what they say.
There's no place like home."

- Aw, Marshal.
- So sweet.

I'm trying to be, like, sad,
because she was...

I'm a bitch.
You're gonna twirl down.

You gotta m*rder her.

When you leaped
over her, bitch...

Oh, I lost it.

- We love you, Marcia.
- Bye, Marshal.

I hope the girls got
the boss bitch memo,

because I'm not playing
with these hos anymore.

I'm ready to promote myself
and get another win.

Well, I guess congratulations
to Luxx and Loosey...

Not "I guess."

- [laughter]
- "I guess."

That's crazy, bitch.
Y'all both won.

I know.
I was gagged.

- We both have...
- Two.

- Two Maxi Challenge wins.
- Two Maxi Challenge wins.

Ooh!

I have no wins
in this competition.

The double win should have been
mine and Mistress's,

point blank, period.

Selena, well, you did,
like, super, super well.

Thank you.

So, like, are you feeling better

than you were
in the last couple of weeks?

I feel good.

And, like, there's hope
now a little bit.

There's a little bit of hope.

I just need to make it
to the next week.

I don't feel like I need
to have wins under my belt

in order to win.

Listen, if I'm in the top,

I can talk my way
into winning the crown.

Listen, everybody,
I don't know about y'all,

but I am entering my top era.

I'm ready.
It's hard.

- Oh!
- Whoo-hoo.

I am entering my angel era,
my angelic era.

Fallen. [laughs]

Fallen angel.

I'm gonna enter
my rotten bitch era.

We love to see it.

Authenticity.

I'm just kidding.
I'm entering my winning era.

Go on.

All right, well, I'm
in my de-dragging era now.

- Yes, it is time.
- Let's do it.

If you stay in an era,
you ain't got to get in an era.

Can I get an amen up in here?

This is the closest I've
gotten to being on the bottom,

and it doesn't feel right.

Welcome to the club.

There's definitely this feeling

of "don't get too comfortable."

I'm sorry,
but she looks so crazy.

It's giving
Joey Jay on Halloween.

I'm a ghoul-ass bitch.
She's Joey Jay.

I'm a ghoul-ass bitch.
I'm Joey Jay.

I think that Sasha
placing low this week

really does show
that it doesn't matter

who you think is
huge competition.

Anyone can fall at any moment.

To ensure my spot in the finale,

I am just going to keep
giving them the Luxx fantasy.

It got me here.
It can get me to the end.

[dramatic music]

[singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

The winner
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills cosmetics

and a gag-worthy grand prize
of $200,000,

served by Cash App,

with extra-special guest judge
Orville Peck.

[singing] RuPaul's Drag Race

May the best drag queen win

Best drag queen win

[dance music]

- [falsetto note]
- [falsetto note]

EsTitties.

We are at the final six,

and it is so close
to the finish line.

I can see it,
and I have horrible vision.

So if I can see that we're
almost at the finish line,

bitch, we're there.

The competition is
neck and neck, bitch.

So I'm letting y'all girls
know right now,

it's an end to my congenial era.

I'm... I'm entering
my chaotic era.

Oh, no, it wasn't
chaotic before?

[yelling] - [screaming]

Bitch, Mistress has more eras
than Cher or Madonna, girl.

No, what I would like to see
is her skinny era bitch.

Let's see with that. [laughs]

[siren wails]

- Ooh!
- Ooh, girl!

She done already done
had herses.

Yes.

America's next drag superstar

needs to bring home the bacon

and put her best foot forward,

or I'm gonna have
to cut you loose.

- "Footloose"?
- Bacon?

We're gonna do
"Let Loose," but as a musical?

Oh, my God.
[laughter]

Hello, hello, hello.

[all cheer]

Ladies, ladies, ladies, ladies.

You know, in a world
where people

focus on our differences,
never underestimate

the power of song and dance
to bring us together.

So for this week's
Maxi Challenge,

you'll be starring in the
all-dancing, all-prancing

Rusical, "Wigloose."

[singing] Wigloose

[all cheering]

Set in the '80s, "Wigloose"
takes place in a small town

where drag has been outlawed.

Imagine that.

The characters
include Heaven Bacon,

a teenage drag queen

ready to shake things up;

Mama Bacon, Heaven Bacon's
wise drag mother;

Preacher Teacher,
the narrow-minded town leader;

and there's Carl...

Carl?

Preacher Teacher's
obedient husband.

Now I'll let you decide
who plays which part.

And to help you put
the wig in "Wigloose,"

we are providing
big '80s hair by Wigs & Grace.

All: Ooh.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

Rusical, ladies.

It's time for us
to pick our roles.

I smell a gate coming on.

Oh, not a gate.

Everyone here except for me

has musical theater experience,

so I'm at a little bit
of a disadvantage.

But, baby, I'm about to flip it
and show you how it's done.

I live.

Miss Fierce!

I'm listening, and the first
character is Preacher Teacher.

Bitch, I am feeling her.

The villain,
the bitch of the scene...

I'm going to be
Preacher Teacher.

The way Heaven Bacon's eating...

[laughter]

I really connect

with the character
of Heaven Bacon.

He is the lead in the show.

I want this role to show
the judges

that I can be really serious
and that I am a star.

Very cute.

What are you all feeling?

I wanna be Preacher Teacher.

I think I would
f*cking k*ll that role,

and that sets up everyone else.

What are you feeling, Anetra?

- Mama Bacon or Preacher.
- Okay.

You would be sickening as Mama

'cause I'm gonna be Preacher.

I think doing Mama
is actually gonna work out

better for me,
just because I feel

like it resonates with me.

It feels right on my heart.

Is it cool that I take Carl?

- Yeah.
- Hot.

Carl is a nerdy,
very submissive husband

of the villain.

It's really funny to have me,

like, turn into an old man.

The two roles
that I would wanna do

are Heaven and Christian.

Same, so either or.

I would also...

I'm also very interested
in Heaven.

Christian's voice seems

like your personality, you know?

So I understand why you
resonate with Christian.

I also resonate with Heaven.

I see myself as Heaven.

The character of Heaven
is someone who I think

I can put a lot of myself into.

So I'll take Christian,
so you guys can fight it out.

Is that cool?
Is that cool with you?

- Sure.
- Okay, so who's

gonna be Heaven?

I'm gonna be Heaven.

I would really like
to be Heaven.

My energy is very much like
this character of Heaven.

I don't...
I don't really see that.

I don't see it for you.

"I want Heaven."
"No, I want Heaven."

Welcome to Heavengate.

If we were reading
the descriptions

of characters without the names,

a young, q*eer kid
from the big city.

- I understand.
- I think that's Luxx.

And if I was reading
"the open-minded jock

- who thinks drag is cool"...
- Mistress.

- I would think Loosey.
- Mistress.

I just feel like...
I feel like I have

the energy of Heaven.

Heaven is very, like,
bright-eyed, super positive,

super, like, go-getter.

My eyes locked with Luxx,
and I'm like,

"There goes Loosey lying."

Girl, just say you wanted
the major role

because you wanna be in the top.

Keeping it 100, it's the lead.

You want to do the lead.

I wanna do the character

that I think I would do
the best at.

I'm not even cutting up.

I just feel like you're
not being real, Loosey.

You think I'm not
being real right now?

This is the most real
that I can be.

Just be honest, you want Heaven

because it's the lead role.

It would be a lie to say

that you wouldn't fit
the description of Tuck.

Oh, my God.

This role of Heaven Bacon
is perfect for me.

And I think that Mistress
and Luxx

don't want me to have it
just because I want it.

So what's gonna be
the resolution for all this?

Everyone's saying
they would turn out any role,

so turn out any f*cking role.

Someone be Heaven.
Someone be Tuck.

Fine, I'll be Tuck.

Yay, awesome.

Jesus Christ.

You saying
that I'm putting on a facade

is telling me that I am a liar

and that I am not
a genuine person.

I have not done anything
to let anyone here know

that I'm not being genuine
with you.

There has been a lot of emotion

shown from Loosey today.

Girl, like, whatever.

I wanted to do Heaven
because I wanted to do Heaven.

But I will let you have Heaven.

I personally don't need
to be the lead

because I know I can shine
in anything.

I will do Christian.

You can do Tuck, if that's okay.

- We'll be a cute duo.
- Perfect.

Fun thing is,
you all get to play friends,

no matter what you are.

These other girls
are underestimating me.

Because I fought
so much for this role,

I have no other option
but to k*ll it.

[dramatic music]

[singing] It's the mood

It's the attitude

For the Maxi Challenge
this week,

we are going to be the stars
of the Rusical "Wigloose."

This ball is busted...

- The only thing...
- Officially.

Bitch, don't step over my line.

Hey, hoofers.

- Ooh!
- Hi.

- How's it hanging?
- Low.

[laughter]

- All right, Sasha.
- Hey.

Come on, hoop earrings.

This Rusical is near
and dear to your heart

because it's surround...

- It's about dancing.
- Yeah.

It... it hits home, because
I definitely can understand

a closed mindset and how that
can be put on young kids,

especially in churches,

where they were saying,
like, my sin was worse

- than other people's sins.
- Mm-hmm.

'Cause my mom actually told me,

when I told her I wanted
to be a girl,

and I wanted to transition,

she was just crying
'cause she was like,

"Well, I just know
you're not gonna you know,

be in heaven with us,"

and was so resolute
to, like, let her kid go.

Is your mother still with us?

- She is.
- Ah.

We don't talk.

You know, we talk a lot
around here about...

About what we're talking about.

This Rusical actually deals
with some of these things.

What role did you get?

I picked Carl.

[laughs]

Why did you choose Carl?

You know, I'm actually
really excited

to play something goofy
and unexpected.

And I get to be married
to Mistress, which is...

[laughter]

Imagine those sheets, though.

That ain't mud on your bed.

I'm sorry if I was
a lot over there.

Oh, don't apologize.
You're fine.

I was just bothered
by, like, Mistress and Luxx,

like, I don't know, acting
like I'm not a genuine person.

Coming out of this argument
with Mistress and Luxx,

Loosey's ready to cr*ck.

So, like, you know, I'm like,

"All right, Loosey,
let's get into this."

I don't think I've done anything

to show anybody that
I'm, like, a liar

or, like, that I fake.

I think what they're...

Like, because
they wouldn't be saying

something like that unless
they saw something, right?

I feel like I've been
really genuine.

I think, like, you let
them get to you easily.

Yeah.

And I think that's
what they sense,

and that's what
they feed off of.

I've been saying, like,
Loosey's ready to cr*ck.

That's how I feel,
but... 'cause it's like,

why is she so defensive
when they, like, approach you?

Now that I'm thinking
about it, it's like...

When they laugh at me
when I open my mouth to talk,

like, I dealt with that
in high school so much,

because every time
I open my mouth to talk,

people would make fun of me.

You know, people would make fun

of the way that I sound
and the way that I talk.

And so I didn't allow myself
to be my genuine self.

Sorry.

No, but you just have to, like,

be okay with yourself.

And I am.
I do let it get to me.

And...

But at least right now, I love

that you talk about this,
'cause, like, you're

figuring out why, right?

I just need to think
more about myself

in this, you know?

Because I did
a f*cking great job last week.

And, to be blunt,
I led Luxx and I to a win.

If they think that trying
to get under my skin

is gonna get rid of me,
then they have

another thing coming,
because I know

that I'm gonna k*ll it
in this challenge.

And I'm gonna k*ll it

in every challenge
going forward,

all the way to the finale.

- Thank you.
- You know?

It's hard.

I get it.

Salina, stop making people cry.

Well, this sounds like it's
gonna be a lot of fun.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, Sasha.

All right, Anetra, come on over.

Tell me, what role
do you have in the Rusical?

So I have Mama Bacon.

She gives me, like, big
Dominique Jackson energy.

- Ooh, I love her.
- Very grand.

But I think what attracted
to me, like, the most was,

- like, the tenderness of her.
- Yes.

And it says that, you know,
"drag saved my life."

I kind of relate to that.

Did drag save your life?

- Absolutely.
- How?

I was training full-time
as an athlete

doing taekwondo.

And I thought that I was
gonna be an Olympian.

And, like, some things
happened, and I had to retire.

And I was still living as,
like, a closeted everything.

I lost my whole family.

I had no job.
I had nowhere to live.

And I went to DragCon.

And I remember walking in.

And I remember feeling so normal

and feeling so in place.

Yeah.
Yeah.

I was in baby drag
and just feeling so accepted

and just seeing
how expressive and just true

everybody was.

And you could literally
feel the love there.

After a weekend of all
of that love and excitement,

I didn't feel like going back

to a closeted
and confined space.

So for me, drag
did save my life.

Drag was everything that
I had when I had nothing.

It's funny how everything connects,

'cause you were born to do drag.

Thank you.

Understand what Mama Bacon
is saying and relate it

to what you just told me
about yourself,

and it will resonate.

And I can't wait to see you
in the Rusical.

- Okay. Thank you.
- Thank you.

Okay.

The person that created

"RuPaul's Drag Race" and DragCon

is standing right
in front of me.

And it's just really,
really, really nice

and surreal to, like, have
this conversation with her.

And it's something
I'll never forget

for my entire life.

Bring your Kleenex, girl.

I'm out of my emotional era.

Hi, Salina EsTitties.
So what role did you get?

I have Tuck.
Tuck is kind of the dumb jock.

What does Tuck want?

Tuck wants to be a queen,
but he's this jock.

And I struggle with that.
Like...

Wait, you struggle with what?

Like, I'm this, and I'm this,
but I'm never here.

Or I'm like, a big girl,
but I'm not that big.

And I'm not thin,
but I'm not that thin.

So I'm always,
like, in the middle.

And I never, like,
really know where my peg fits.

Just, first of all,
let's just breathe, please.

Can you please
exhale and breathe?

Because you've whipped up
this thing

that is not really real.

You've made it
to the top six for being you.

- Shine.
- All right.

- Weren't you born to shine?
- I think so.

- No, no, no, don't think so.
- I am born to shine!

Yes.

That feels good, but it's... ooh.
Yes.

It feels good... but...

It feels good.
That's all.

End of story.

Period.

All right, well, go work on...
On Tuck

and shine, shine, shine.

I'm gonna shine with my Tuck.

[laughs] - Thank you.

After talking with Ru,
bitch, I'm ready to go.

Let's go.
She's ready.

[upbeat music]

[music continues]

Baby, it's time to rehearse
the Rusical

with Miguel Zarate, honey.

Yes, professional choreographer
to the stars, darling.

Welcome, ladies.

This Rusical is inspired
by '80s movies.

The things that I'm looking
for: energy, personality.

And if you're not a dancer,
there's no excuse.

You still have to sell it.

The music is really powerful.

So you truly have
to live up to that.

Baby, going into this,
I'm just so excited.

I wanna see how
these other b*tches do

with choreography,

because that's really gonna show

where the cracks lie.

Loosey, we're gonna start
with you.

Cool.

A little secret w*apon of mine

is that I pick up choreography
very quickly.

These girls have no idea
that I danced for years.

And I'm really excited to show
them that, baby, she's got it.

The choreography
that you're about to learn,

it's a big, '80s, impactful,
angry type of moment.

So you're gonna come out,

one, strong arms;
two, to reach;

three, step out again; four;
five and six, seven, eight.

Five and six.

Yeah, but you wanna throw it,
like messy.

Messy, uh.
Messy, uh.

And you wanna hit
a little head with it, too?

Like, head, head?

Yes, yes.
Five and six, seven and eight.

The movement just feels
a little rigid and studied.

The moves is not giving '80s.

I'm not getting that at all.

It's giving... it's white.

Anetra, word on the street is

that you're a phenomenal dancer.

So how about we freestyle
on the count of eight?

Give it to me.
And one, two, three, pop.

Six, seven, one more.

Yes, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.

Ow, word, girl?

Even though
your big number's a ballad,

what I'm gonna teach you
right now is a little snippet

of the big finale number.

So here we go.

Right and push.

Left and push.

Okay, so it's step right,
go right?

Step right, go right, but go
from underneath, underneath.

And right, underneath, and left.

Step or no step?

Anetra looks like she's
performing calculus,

is what it looks like to me.

You're a little in your head.

Trying to just, like,
okay, next, next, next.

I guess there is a difference
between being, like,

vogue ca-ca-la-ca
and then being,

like, a trained dancer.

Luxx.

And one, two, and three, four,

and five, six, seven, eight.

Close?

Close.

The attitude is great,
and you need that.

I'm just gonna get
a little comfy.

Show me.
What's the next reveal?

Take it off!

Oh, got it.

Give it to me again.

Circle, one and two,

three and four, and five.

Hey.

[laughter]

What I'm seeing is
a lot of personality.

It oozes out of you.

And this character
is perfect for you.

- Luxx, I have a question.
- What?

Why is there
a security tag on your coat?

I didn't steal it, I promise.

It was the worker.

Salina.

Hi, Foxy.

She's in her fly girl outfit.

The thing about EsTitties is,

everyone sees
this like, "Ow, girl."

But I'm musically
theater trained, honey.

I got experience,
training, skill, darling.

Selena, you are playing Tuck.

And you're
a masculine-y, Westerny jock.

Oh, he's Western?

I'm doing country choreography.

So I have these hats for us.

There's a cowboy hat?

Country...

- A one, a two.
- Oh, my God.

One and two, a three, a four,

go five, six, seven, in,
and chicken,

and one and two, and shanay
and step and yank.

Yeah.

I'm tired of this country sh*t.

Mistress, you're gonna start,

and you're gonna come
with some claws on one.

And you're gonna almost,
because it's '80s, one, two.

I'm not going to lie.
I'm a little worried,

because, girl,
I f*cking hate choreography.

Don't break that ankle, girl.

She ain't breaking nothing
in them Hillary Clintons.

Just come up one, land two.

- I hope.
- Five, six... [laughs]

Are you gonna do it?

No, bitch.
Let me watch you some more

'cause I'm a slow learner.

Oh, wow.

Mistress starts telling
the choreographer

how she's gonna
learn the choreography.

I don't know how
that's gonna work.

All right, so do
the steps with me.

I'ma go with you
from the very beginning.

- I'm... I'm watching you.
- Oh, no, no, no.

Yeah.

So give me, like...

I'm pulling a little bit
from Thriller,

a little bit from,
like, the swamp monster.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

So you wanna go one, two.

Yeah?

And I'm just asking
for a little passé.

I'm a fat bitch
in my kitten heels.

I wanna make sure
I don't just jump

- and just fall forward.
- No, brah.

Brah.

He does this slide split.

Stop playing.

I know Mistress is nervous

just because she hears
the voices in her head.

And I'm hearing them so loud

when she's trying to get
this choreo.

Here we go.
Rawr, two, good.

Left foot... what?

That was a variation.

It looks like you're
counting yourself out

before we've even started.

Mistress seems quite timid
and hesitant

to bring any personality to it.

And her character is
full of personality.

What are you worried about?

I just, from experience,
know how I am with choreo.

And for me,

- it's a timing thing.
- Yeah.

But I'm on it.

I'm gonna make sure
that regardless, bitch,

- I'm going to be in my room.
- Yes, bitch.

I'ma get you right.
I'ma get you right.

Don't worry.
Don't worry.

Shut up, b*tches.

[laughter]

I'm not a musical theater bitch.

But, bitch,
I'm gonna turn it out,

and this is going to be
a happy ending, okay?

[awkward music]

[upbeat music]

Oh!

[singing] I'm just gonna wake up

Today is the day we get
to perform

our Rusical, "Wigloose,"
in front of the judges.

It's opening night, darlings.

Let me get
my Carl cap on, honey.

I am so ready
to unleash the beast today.

And by "beast,"
I mean my dear Carl.

So, honey,
how you feeling, wifey?

- [laughs]
- Oh, baby?

I was like, who the f*ck
are you talking to?

Are you excited to play
a villain, a villainess?

You know, it's gonna be
very different for me

because I'm usually
just a sweet person.

Where are you gonna pull from?

You know, there's this girl
I once competed with.

And she would play
like she wasn't a villain,

and that made her
even more of a villain.

So I'm really, like, drawing
inspiration from that.

What was her name?

Her name was Doosey.

[laughter]

- Doosey.
- Doosey de Duca.

Mistress is playing
the game at this point.

I know for me, I'm playing
this game with my talents.

Literally, Christian's story
is kind of my story.

I'm having a lot of fun
bringing myself into it.

At the core of it,
it's just about loving drag

and, like, bringing drag
into everybody's lives

as much as we can.

This Rusical is
so important to me,

especially with everything,
like, presently going on

in the world.

It feels like we're taking
a giant step back.

So, like, Mistress,
when you're, like,

going out in the town in Texas,

you're still, like, on guard.

- Oh, most definitely.
- Right.

Because, bitch,
Texas don't be playing

with these laws, honey.

And all these protests about
protesting the Drag Storytime.

- Yeah.
- 'Cause at Mary's, what,

it's like all ages.
Like kids come and everything?

Yeah.

Like at my home bar,
we have kids all the time.

It is family friendly.

And of course,
we have restrictions in place.

Like, they can't come to, like,
the Saturday night shows,

- where it gets a little rowdier.
- Yeah.

I think they just have
crazy, like, thoughts

of what drag is.
I don't know.

It's... it's very scary at times.

The state of the world
that we live in, it's so wild.

Now they wanna outlaw drag.

And they now feel
entitled to hurt you.

It's such a hard place to be

'cause you really wanna be yourself,

and you really wanna celebrate
who you are,

but sometimes,
you have to be forced

to, like, be quiet
for pure safety.

I've done a couple,
and I will say the thing

that you have to deal with
is that there's always

a lot of community backlash.

The whole thing is,

"We don't want our kids
exposed to this

"because drag queens
are gonna be, like,

a bad influence on them."

But then you have
people protesting

at drag queen story hours
and being extremely violent.

But someone dressed
as a princess

telling a story about a mermaid
is offensive to them.

People in the LGBTQ+ community

are constantly being
targeted with hate

to divert from bigger issues.

What they want
everyone to focus on

is "This drag queen's
reading to our kids."

It kind of feels like
we're getting somewhere,

but at the same time, it's like,

we still shouldn't be having,
like, problems

about drag queens
reading a story to kids.

Exactorini.

I think that q*eer people
just going out into the world

and showing resilience
and just saying

"We can't be f*cked with

the way
that y'all think we can,"

it's like that's going to be
the driving force for change.

Now I'm in my politician era.

The conservatives always think

that we're trying
to push our agenda on them

when they're the ones
pushing their agendas on us.

- Definitely.
- They're like,

"Oh, we're... you're grooming

our children to be gay,"

when that's your technique.

Like, it's so, so hypocritical.

How many times have you seen
someone ask a toddler,

like, "Do you have
a girlfriend?"

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Or it's like they have
male kids wearing,

like, "Ladies' Man" T-shirts.

I remember my mom gave me
a wallet when I was, like, 12,

and it had pictures
of Hilary Duff in it.

And she was like,
"Isn't she so pretty?

That's your girlfriend, right?"

And I'm like, "Right..."

Girl, no.

Where's Zac Efron, okay?

Boots.

People don't realize, like,

what they're doing
to their own children

by doing that.

They're, like, putting
them in a box already.

Exact.

So what's really interesting
about "Wigloose" is that

for the first 2/3 of the show,

a couple of us are in boy drag.

I can't wait to see
how this turns out.

Here, you guys
ready to see this?

Oh, god, I don't even know.

Yee-haw.

Oh, wait, no, why is it giving?

Is it?
I look like Little Richard.

Shut up.

Let me see. [gasps]

You look like Christina, bitch.

[laughter]

Go, Carl.

The wigetry of it all.

[dramatic music]

[music continues]

[singing] Cover girl, put
the bass in your walk

Head to toe, let
your whole body talk

Whoo-hoo!

Sexy mama.

You working tonight?

I certainly am.

Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

Michelle Visage, is
this almost paradise?

Well, if you're thinking
of that strip joint

off of exit 102
from the Garden State Parkway,

then, yes, yes, it is.

[laughter]

Let's hear it
for the boy, Ross Mathews.

Ross, are you ready
to get footloose?

Well, it's not my foot
that's loose, Ru.

[laughter]

I'm holding out for a hero.

It's Orville Peck.

Howdy.

Well, howdy, Ru.

I wish I could quit you.

Well, what's the hurry?

You just got here.

This week, we challenged
our queens

to kick up their heels
in "Wigloose," the Rusical.

Racers, start your engines,

and may the best drag queen win.

Tonight's Rusical reminds us
that anything worthwhile

is worth fighting for.

This is the world premiere
of "Wigloose."

Spring, 1984.

My drag mom and I just moved
from the big city

back to her hometown,
West Bum Tuck, USA.

It was my first day at school.

But as my mama said...

School is school.

How different could it be?

[bell ringing]

Attention students.

To serve as a reminder,
and because my solo

in the church musical got cut,

I've got a little song for you.

One, two, three, four.

Beware of the color red

Because that's
the color of Satan

Don't use the color green

That's also the color of Satan

And steer clear of cerulean blue

Because it's gorgeous,
I mean pretty, I mean, ew!

The point is
anything different is scary

So it must be wrong

Must be wrong

These bad clouds keep it going

Life is black and white

There's nothing between
the lines on the outside

You're either wrong or right

Whoever you are,
keep that on the inside

I don't wanna see

No wigs,
no heels, no personality

Life is black and white

You, dance for me.

If you can't hate yourself,
how in the hell

are you gonna hate
somebody else?

We're all born naked,
and that's disgusting.

So in conclusion...

Life is black and white

[laughter and applause]

Any questions?

Excuse me, Preacher Teacher?

[upbeat '80s instrumentals]

I'm Heaven Bacon,
and I have a question.

When is the drag ball?
[all gasp]

You must be new to these parts.

Around here,
"drag" is a four-letter word.

[music continues]

Christian, teach our new student

how we do things around here.

Yes, mother.

Psst!

Meet us at the abandoned barn
after school.

[soft electronic music]

Whoa.

My name's Christian, he's Tuck,

and this used to be
a notorious drag club,

Pork Chop's Hideaway.

Until that one year
when everyone got pinkeye.

Now we dress up in secret.

If only we could just...

Hang on, I feel
a song coming on.

Hit it.

[upbeat electronic music]

[music continues]

[singing] I wanna express myself

I got some magic in me
I wanna show

Yeah!

There's so much more to me

Besides the freaky thing
I do with my throat

[makes reverberating noise]

[singing] I wanna express myself

I got a fantasy
that I wanna live

Learn how to sew a dress

Instead of learning
how to fashion a shiv

What am I going to do with this?

That could really hurt someone.

I know.

Both: Our lives
need a little less

[squeak]

And a little less
[gagging sound]

And a little more drag

[singing] Your lives need
a little less Ugh!

And a little less
[screaming] oh my God!

[singing]
And a little more drag

[singing] It's the dress

It's the wig

It's the heels walking in

It's the mug

It's the move

It's the attitude

Our lives need
a little less bleh

And a little less [giggling]

And a little more drag

My mom taught me
you have to stand up

for what you believe in.

There's a council meeting tonight,

and they're planning to outlaw drag

in West Bum Tuck forever.

We got to go.

[singing] Our lives need
a little less bleh

And a little less [scream]

And a little more drag

Yay!

[tense electronic music]

[music continues]

Are you sure
you wanna do this, dear?

Think back on the days when we
used to have fun doing drag.

Oh, I have no idea
what you're talking about.

As of 8:00 p.m. tonight,
there will be

no drag in the township
of West Bum Tuck.

All in favor, say aye.

I...
[all gasp]

Object.

Don't wanna fight, but
you got me up against a wall

Here's a verse from the
good book, GuRu, by RuPaul

Everybody's in drag,
whether you like it or not

Even you

[singing] Your dedication
is pointless

I'm not gonna budge

Your words are falling
on deaf ears

- I don't give a...
- Mom!

[singing] And tonight
when I pray

It's your name I'm bringing up

[singing] Father, son,
house of love

Hey, take back your lame law

Give, give, give

Give us our drag ball

My dear wife,
this young man makes

a very persuasive argument.

What do you say?

Well, Carl, my loving,
soft-spoken husband,

what do I say?

I say all those in favor

of banning drag forever,
say aye.

Council members: Aye.

Then drag is
abolished officially.

Carl, let's go get dinner.
I'm starving.

What are we gonna do?

[music continues]

[singing] Take, take
back your lame law

And give, give us our drag ball

We deserve to be who we are

Baby, it's not your call

So give, give, give,
give us our drag ball

Sorry, Heaven.
You tried.

Kids, this ain't over yet.

Here, hand these out.

[singing] Give, give us
our drag ball

Whoo!

Welcome, Bum Tuckers.

Category is drag ball, Eleganza.

First up, you know him
as Heaven Bacon.

Say hello to Cyndi Whopper.

[singing] Cover girl, put
the face in your walk

You know him as
Christian Preacher Teacher.

Say hello to Madonna
Summer Nights!

[singing] Cover girl

You know him as Tuck.

Say hello to Ivana Dance.

With somebody who loves me.

Cover, cover, cover, cover girl

Put that face in your walk

- [thunder crashes]
- Stop right now.

This ball is busted officially.

The only thing busted around
here is that mug, Erline.

Porcine, is that you?

When we were young,
drag saved my life.

And it saved yours, too.

Have you forgotten
where we came from?

Drag is a fight

Drag is a protest

Drag only reveals
who you really are

If you wanna shine,
I'm letting you know this

The kind of love we grow
can't grow in the dark

The pride that we feel

The power we hold

In our high heels

The rights that we've earned

Where we began

And what we've learned

Was built on drag

Oooh

You might know me
as Carl Preacher Teacher.

But back in the day,
they called me

Miss Ethel Sperman.

[singing] The pride that I feel

[singing] The power we hold
in our high heels

[singing] In my high heels

[singing] The rights
that we've earned

[singing] Yeah, yeah

[singing] Girl, it began
in what we wore

[singing] It began in what we wore.

[singing] Was built on

[singing] Drag

[singing] Was built on

[singing] Drag

[singing] Was built on

[singing] Drag

[laughs] [applause]

- Yay!
- Wow.

[upbeat music]

Carl!

What has gotten into you?

I've been sitting
on a secret for way too long,

and I couldn't hold it in
any longer.

[singing] We found the
glitter under the gray

We took the hay
and threw it away

And found these old dirty tights

- They stink.
- Shut up, they're cute.

[singing] Bum Tuck was
backwards when we showed up

We knew exactly
what had to be done

Put drag back into life

- Yeah, we did.
- [singing] You lead with love

- [singing] You don't give up
- [singing] You b*at that face

[singing] And show up anyway

And now today

Everybody's going wigloose

Grab a wig and put it on you

There's a queen that
wants to come through

Oh, everybody's going wigloose

All these sisters
waiting for you

There's a queen
that wants to come through

Oh, everybody's going

What do you say, honey?

I say...

I say

the family that slays
together stays together.

Can I get an amen?

[singing] Amen

That's too high
bring it back down

Perfect.

[singing] Everybody's
going wigloose

Grab a wig and put it on you

There's a queen that
wants to come through

Oh, everybody's going wigloose

All these sisters
waiting for you

There's a queen that
wants to come through

Oh, everybody's going wigloose

- Whoa!
- Yeah!

[applause]

[singing] The world
is your runway

Category is,
everybody say glove.

All: Glove.

Up first, Loosey LaDuca.

Hey, it's the shape of LaDuca.

This love letter

to "The Creature
from the Black Lagoon"

I designed from head to toe.

I'm giving a '50s-style swimsuit

made out of latex, darling.

And, of course, the gloves
are an opera length

with a huge fin down the sides.

And I have webbed fingers.

I mean, who else is doing that?

I'm letting them know
that I may be a creature,

but I'm a creature of love.

Yes, Miss Swamp Thing
if you're nasty.

Hang on, kelp is on the way.

[laughter]

Anetra.

We are back at limelight.

She's totally gloving this look.

Mama, I am giving you
rave realness,

and that's en fleur.

Bitch, I love a rave.

I will write a rave review
about a rave.

So I'm giving you
a blue leather glove.

And I have these laser lights
coming right out of my hands,

because what is a rave
without lasers?

Hit me with them laser beams.

I am pumping, stomping,
and beaming this runway.

I'm giving you hips, ass.

I'm giving you a body
and topped it off

with the signature scar
on my eye

in this beautiful neon green.

This look is lit.

Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

Oh, my God, so gorgeous.

Yeah.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Preacher Teacher wanted
everything black and white,

so right now,
I'm giving a full 180.

I'm in my sunshine era.

I want them to be blinded
by the sunshine,

the beautiful yellow on my skin.

The gloves are
attached to the gown.

I have this really huge
taffeta boa that looks

like it's part of the gloves.

I have these beautiful,
long, dangling jewels

I'm just holding.

And, oh, it's opulent, bitch.

It's over.

Take that, 2 Chainz.

If loving you is right,
I don't wanna be wrong.

Luxx Noir London,

Breaking 2:
Electric Boogaloo.

You know how Luxx
got on the show?

- No, how?
- Casting call.

I think that my look

is a very interesting take
on gloves...

That emo kid in high school
who, like, broke their arm

and, like, had
everybody sign it.

The arm casts are signed
by my friends from home,

so it's
a very special piece to me.

I'm just giving them
the classic Luxx experience

with a little edge to it.

I may have two broken arms,

but these legs still pop, mama.

Paris is burning...
Uh, plaster of Paris.

Yes, plaster of Paris.

Salina EsTitties.

If you can't glove yourself...

How are you gonna glove
somebody else?

Well, you know what
they say about huge hands.

- No, what?
- A huge d*ck.

[laughter]

You know I love
a big masculine hand, honey.

I'm giving you the biggest
gloves you've ever seen.

It is just out-of-the-box kooky.

It's weird.
You're like, what's happening?

I look like a full-on
cartoon character, bitch.

Look at my hair.
It's so cute, very TLC vibes.

I feel real cuntsy.
I feel real hip-hop.

I feel like Cardi B
if Cardi B had giant hands.

- You know what sounds good?
- What?

Red Lobster.

Yes.
[laughter]

Sasha Colby.

Ooh, she's in a league
of her own.

Oh, mitt crew.

I'm giving you
baseball girl realness,

a glove outfit made
of pure baseball gloves.

I came up with this concept.

I was just thinking of a new way

to, like, use gloves.

I still want it to be chic.

I still wanna be high fashion.

I'm feeling kind of like
Harley Quinn, like superhero,

obviously, like, super sexy.
Sorry, I can't help it.

Baby, I am feeling
like I'm gonna catch balls,

grab balls.

We balling, baby.

Ooh, I think she plays
for the Houston Ass-tros.

Swing, batter, batter.

Welcome, ladykins.

Just blanket statement.
I have to say,

there have been
some extraordinary,

epic Rusicals on the show.

Tonight's
with the best of the best.

It was like Broadway level.

Y'all were incredible.

The work you put into this...
[laughs]

It showed,

which makes our job
really, really difficult.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

First up, Loosey LaDuca.

I loved you in the Rusical.

Right off the bat, I feel like
you carried it very strongly.

It was just really,
really well done.

It was professional.

I hope you had fun

because I feel
like you're a workaholic.

I think tonight you did
"The Shape of Water" type

of Creature from
the Black Lagoon.

I enjoyed it.
It's cute.

Thank you.

Up next, Anetra.

I like your outfit tonight.

It's like drag Tron, future.

I love it.

Mama Bacon's not
the biggest part.

But luckily, you managed
to take this solo

and have a real moment.

It was really powerful.

Like, I felt like you
were there for these kids.

It was so fulfilling
because you really understood

what your role is.

And not only did you
understand it, you lived it.

So it was really fabulous
to watch.

That lip-sync is
one that will stay with me

for a very long time.

Up next,
Mistress Isabelle Brooks.

Your solo was so well done.

I thought you had
a good time with it.

You were really into it.

And then you get to play
this, you know, church lady

who, by the way, we are
facing in real time out there.

This is a real-life villain
as well.

Somehow, I hate her,
but I was rooting

for you in a weird way.

And then, when you turned
the corner for the runway,

I really gasped.

Having just seen you
in the Rusical

wearing something so different,

and to just see this glamour,

I mean, it was so cool.

It's so beautiful.

Honey, you did Houston
proud this evening.

Up next, Luxx Noir London.

This is my favorite
of all the concepts, for sure,

on the runway.

You know, it's kind
of, like, wonderfully Daria

about it or something.

- You know?
- Totally.

Let's talk about you
in the Rusical.

A little, tiny part,
and you didn't miss a b*at.

There's a thing
we go to after school.

Come with me, flag,
wink, nudge, nudge.

You know how I feel about
the gayetry that surrounds you.

I just connect with the fact
that you live authentically,

and it shows up
in everything that you do.

I was gay
since I popped out the womb.

- I love it.
- Thank you.

I know that you initially
wanted the Heaven Bacon role,

and you got into it with Loosey.

I would like to clear this up.

I had the role first,
and then I gave it to her.

But you know,
that's in the past.

But yeah, I had a great time.

Thanks, Luxx.

Thank you.

Up next, Salina EsTitties.

I loved seeing you
in the classroom as Tuck

when I thought it
was Rosie O'Donnell

in "A League of Their Own."

Yeah.

But I loved seeing you
go wholeheartedly

into that look because
it's so different for Salina.

Being out of EsTitties on stage

was really scary for me
because, like, I don't...

[choking up] Jason doesn't go
out in the world like that.

So to be on stage like that

was really, like, vulnerable
for me.

When all
of the characters, you know,

finally come out in drag
at the ball,

it was such a big change
from your character.

Thought that was
a really job well done.

You know, I just have
to face it, okay?

There's so much going on
on the jumpsuit

that I just now realized
you even had gloves on.

[laughter]

But, you know,
maybe it would have been

even a more bold move
to just do some black with that

and really service gloves.

Up next, Sasha Colby.

Can I ask you
why you chose this part?

Sure.
I felt that I really wanted

to show a trans woman

not afraid to go for the laugh.

And also, Carl spoke to me

because he reminded me
of my dad.

When he was alive,
he had a very overbearing wife.

And he still managed to find fun

and really loved me in drag.

I just have loved
seeing you, this season,

take these kind of risks
to show us what you got.

I think it was very smart
to choose this character.

I got to tell you,
when I saw Carl, I thought,

"Oh, my goodness,
Carl's kind of hot."

Yes.

And then, when you
transformed in the green dress,

that number was so great.

There was so much
in that solo of yours

that just lit up the stage.

And your look is
obviously very put together,

but it's still got, like,
a lot of wit and charm to it.

This is probably
the closest I've ever been

to a baseball game,

and I'm really excited about it.

It's so clever, so chic, lovely.

- Glovely.
- My God.

Glovely.

Queens, this week,
the competition

is neck and neck,

so I wanna hear from you.

Who should go home
tonight, and why?

Loosey?

To go by track record...

Um, Salina has been
in the bottom a lot.

Hold up.

After you came to me
and cried on my shoulder,

now you wanna say
I should go home?

Let's be real here.

You don't like
Mistress and Luxx,

so why don't you say
their names?

Girl!

Anetra?

I feel bad saying statistics,

but at the end of the day,

that's the nitty gritty.

I think I would have to say
Salina EsTitties.

Okay.

Mistress?

If I had to be honest,
I'm tired of being

at the Sasha Colby
meet and greet,

and that's
my biggest competition.

So, sorry, auntie.

- All good.
- Luxx?

You know, I think
really analyzing

the lineup
that we have here tonight,

I would say that Sasha Colby
does drag

on a level
that is clean, cut, concise.

But she just puts
that little extra thing on it

that makes it
the Sasha Colby experience.

Salina brings something
so unique with her perspective.

It has so much heart.

Mistress... she also
has a unique spin

on what she does
because she's not afraid

to push the boundary.

That is something that
is very admirable.

You never know what
to expect from Anetra,

and I think that the unexpected
is something that I look for.

Loosey does what she does
exceptionally well.

However, Loosey's drag
I would have to say,

for lack of a better word,
is a little

on the more generic side.

Everybody else on this lineup
brings something

a little different and unique.

So tonight, I'd have to say
Loosey for those reasons.

Salina?

I'd first like to start out saying

that the girls who said my name,

each time I was in the bottom,

they thought I was in
the top that week.

So, you know, if we're looking

for America's
next drag superstar,

that's someone who's bringing
something fresh to the game.

I don't see future of drag
when I see Loosey.

Sasha?

Well, since you can't
send them all home,

I would send Loosey
or Luxx home,

because they both have two wins,

they're tapping on my ass,

and I need the competition gone.

Ladies, thank you
for your honesty.

While you untuck
in the Werkroom,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

Now just
between us, girlfriends,

I wanna know what you think.

Let's start with Loosey.

Her characterization
as Heaven Bacon

in the boy form...
I thought it was fantastic.

And then, when she crossed
into drag, I kind of lost her.

And I'm getting a feeling
that she is all business

and not having fun.

And it's interesting
that some of the queens

were calling her out tonight.

Loosey is really, really good.

It's just our other queens
having more special moments.

And that's what we
have to ask ourselves.

Anetra?

I was continuously blown away
by her performance

in the Rusical.

It was so touching
and so beautiful.

Anetra made us feel something.

- She absolutely did.
- Mm-hmm.

Mistress?

The villain is the most
fun character, hands down.

Michelle knows.

Yes.

And I... I really liked
her approach.

I enjoyed watching
Mistress in this role.

And I love what she said.

I am gonna send home
my competition!

That bitch, right there.

Let's talk about Luxx.

Before I discuss Luxx,
I'd like to address

each of you individually.

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

I could have watched that
for the rest of the week.

That was great.

I thought we did.

I kind of want to add her
to my legal team, perhaps.

[laughter]

I mean, that
is star-quality stuff,

and she's got it.

And she'll tell you.

Salina EsTitties.

I felt like she really
thrived in the Rusical.

The runway is not great.

This ironically looks
a little second-hand,

and I'm not talking
about the hands.

I'm...

There's a lot of work
to be done with the aesthetic.

Yes.

But she did a good job tonight.

Sasha Colby?

You could feel the joy

she was having as Carl.

- You know I'm married, right?
- Yes.

But Carl could still get it.

Oh, yeah.

And the way she
Patti LaBelled the hell out

of that solo was amazing.

A really, really
good night for her.

Tickets are just about sold out

to the meet and greet, so come
see me, because I'm scalping.

[laughter]

Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

[dramatic music]

Mistress Isabelle Brooks,

you are safe.

Thank you.

You may step
to the back of the stage.

[music continues]

Luxx Noir London,

you are safe.

Thank you.

[music continues]

Sasha Colby,

you are safe.

[music continues]

[suspenseful music]

[music continues]

Anetra, as Mama Bacon,
you served up

a heaping helping
of love and emotion

that we'll never forget.

Condragulations.

You are the winner
of this week's challenge.

- [applause]
- Yes!

You've won a cash prize
of $5,000.

Thank you.

So this is
my second challenge win.

I can't say "f*ck,"
so I'm going to say "forking."

I am so forking excited
to win this forking challenge.

I might cry.

Loosey LaDuca, Salina EsTitties,

I'm sorry, my dears,
but you are up for elimination.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is
your last chance to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come

for you
to lip-synch for your life.

[dramatic music]

Here I am, once again.

Do I deserve to be
in the bottom?

No, but I'm a fighter.

I am going to serve
the EsTitties experience

with these dumb-ass gloves.

You ready?

Good luck, and don't f*ck it up.

[percussive music]

[music continues]

[singing] It doesn't hurt me

Yeah, yeah, yo

Do you wanna feel how it feels?

Yeah, yeah, yo

Do you wanna know, know
that it doesn't hurt me?

Yeah, yeah, yo

Do you wanna hear about
the deal that I'm making?

Is there so much hate
for the ones we love

Well, tell me we both
matter, don't we?

You, you, it's you and me

Come on, Salina.
Eat her up, bitch.

Take them off.
Take them off.

[singing] If I could make
a deal with God

And get him to swap our places

Be running up that road

Be running up that hill

Be running up that building

Even with these big hot-dog
fingers, bitch, I am giving.

[singing] Come on, baby

Come on, darling

Let me steal
this moment from you now

- Come on, angel
- Come on.

[singing] Come on,
come on, darling

Come on.

[singing] Let's exchange
the experience

- Oh!
- Get it.

Get it.

[singing] So if I could make
a deal with God

And I get him to swap our places

I'd be running up that road,
be running up that hill

With no problems

So if I could,

Be running up that hill

With no problems

If only I could
be running up that hill

If only I could
be running up that hill

- [applause]
- Yes!

Ladies, I've made my decision.

[tense music]

[music continues]

Loosey LaDuca.

Shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Thank you.

Salina EsTitties,

thanks for the mammaries.

Now sashay away.

Thank you guys so much.

Are you sure?

[laughter]

EsTitties, EsTitties,
my titties, not your titties.

All right, baby,
the titties are coming.

I let myself dim my light
here because of b*tches.

And don't let no bitch
dim your light, ho.

I also didn't win
any f*cking money here.

So I need all the cointadas.
f*ck those hos.

You bring it over
to EsTitties, okay?

Condragulations, queens.

And remember, if you can't
love yourself, how the hell

are you gonna love
somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

All: Amen.

Now let the music play.

A little bit of love

Goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

Can you feel the love?

Next time on
"RuPaul's Drag Race"...

You need to transform
these educators

into glamazons.

Okay, girl, Loosey kind of
set me up this week to fail.

You two are such family,

you're gonna fight at Christmas.

Both of you
gave me the attitude.

I was getting the eye.

I see zero family resemblance.

Everything that I said on
the runway is 110% how I feel.

Ooh, try to screw me over,
it will never end well.

[singing] A little bit of love

Goes a long, long way

Lifting you up to a brighter day

A little bit of love
goes a long, long way

Turn it around,
when you up and say

Everybody say love,
love, love, love

Oh, love, love, love, love,
love, oh, love, oh, oh, oh

Love, can you feel the love
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