07x06 - Ru Hollywood Stories

[bunniefuu]

You're invited to the first annual DESPYS.

-Pearl, I want you to up the ante.
-Well, you told me I had no personality.

That doesn't give me confidence.

I'm just over this bullshit.

We want to welcome... welcome you
to the first annual Despy Awards.

And the award
for the shadiest shade goes to...

Violet Chachki.

The winner is Max and Pearl.

[applause]

-Kandy Ho, shantay, you stay.
-Thank you.

Mrs. Kasha Davis, sashay away.

-Whoo! sh*t.
-[Pearl] Single digits!

"Love to the moon & back, MKD."

They're putting me on the bottom
so that I can take out the other girls.

-I took out the two oldest ones.
-[laughter]

Ru gave me another chance.

So I'm just gonna have to go crazy,
untuck, and act a fool.

So who is everybody
that had won in the categories?

-I won!
-Me.

The award that was so unexpected
was Violet.

Shady lady!
How do you feel about winning that award?

-You know, I was kind of expecting it.
-[Miss Fame] Yeah, me too.

People think I'm mean, but everything
I've done comes from humor or truth.

I want you to know that I am gonna work
on the way I come across.

I won't hold my breath.

[laughter]

-Well, congrats to Max and Pearl.
-[Ginger] Yes, congratulations!

Girl, how do you feel?
'Cause I know you were having a meltdown.

-No, I was not feeling it today.
-I could tell.

[Miss Fame] I was not expecting
Pearl to pull through that strong.

I'm frustrated, I'm grateful to be here,
and she's like "f*ck this. I'm out."

The energy is so toxic. I can't
shower positive energy on that sh*t.

I don't even want it near me.

-[engines]
-♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

[RuPaul] The winner receives a year supply
of Anastasia Beverly Hills Cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100,000.

With extra-special guest judges
Merle Ginsberg and Ariana Grande.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race
May the best woman, best woman win ♪

-Yes, ma'am, pam.
-My god.

[Jaidynn] We're back. [laughs]

[Katya] And then there were nine.

If you had to have sex
with one other queen in this room...

-Who would it be?
-[all] Oh, my god.

[Max] I'm opting out.

These girls are all so vulgar.
I mean, they're all very sexual.

-Can I pick more than one?
-[laughter]

We'd probably all pick Katya
because she won Meatiest Tuck.

Who is the top,
and who's the bottom in sex?

[Max] We're not talking about sex.

Max wasn't having it, darling.

[Violet] Girl, calm down.

[siren blares]

[Max] Thank gracious.

[RuPaul] She done already
done have herses.

-Hey, queens.
-[all] Hi.

A lace front wig has a front and a back.

But there are three sides to every story:
yours, mine, and the T, Miss Thing.

And sometimes
the truth is 100% unbeweaveable.

Something with wigs.

[Ginger]
Girl, and now I can't use my black spray.

-Hello, hello, hello.
-[all] Hi, Ru.

Ladies, America's next drag superstar
needs to stay calm

and carry on no matter what pops up.

Oh, Pit Crew!

-[Max] Yay!
-[Katya] Wow!

[indistinct chatter]

Looks like the Pit Crew invited
some of their friends over for a playdate.

I'm gonna pass out.

[laughs]

I'm taking in the buffet right now.

Every size and color.
It's like Epcot for the thirsty b*tches.

For today's challenge, we're gonna play
a game called Monster in Your Pants.

[laughter]

Most of these men have a number tucked
inside their Justin Case underwear.

You call out a name, he reaches
into his drawers and whips it out.

You'll need to gobble up
as many points as possible.

But be careful, because one of you
bastards has a Monster in Your Pants.

If you pick the monster before you freeze
your points, you're out of the game.

All right, first up.
Come on over, Miss Fame.

[RuPaul]
The rest wait outside for your turn.

-Miss Fame, call out a name.
-I'm gonna go with d*ck.

Everybody loves d*ck. Ten!

-Ten points
-Yay! I'm gonna go with Jack.

-There it is.
-Joe.

-[buzzer]
-No!

sh**t!

-I'm gonna start with Fang.
-Nine!

We're off to a good start.

I think I'll go with Boo.

-[buzzer]
-[both] Oh!

Katya!

I've no idea what the rules are.
I don't care what they are.

Just, when do I get to blow them?
I can't say that?

I can't say that either?

-Katya, call out a name.
-Okay.

-Dude.
-[RuPaul] Show us what you got.

m*therf*cker! God. Son of a m*therf*cking
c**t whore bitch. The first time?

[RuPaul] The first time out?

I love me some BJ, but I'll go with Papi.

-[Ru] Two and a half.
-Rod. Come on, come on.

-Oh, Rod.
-Oh, no!

-BJ.
-Fang.

John.

[Ru] Oh, sh**t!

-Rod.
-Nine!

-Mary.
-Eight and a half!

-Jack.
-Whip it out, Jack!

- Ooh, girl!
-I think I wanna freeze.

-You wanna freeze.
-Yes.

All right.

Pearl, this may be your chance
to finally get that necklace.

-Jack.
-Six and a half.

Fang.

-Nine!
-Yes!

-Who's talking to you?
-Pete.

f*ck you, Pete. f*ck you, Pete.

All right, time to get that blood
rushing right back up to your brains.

The one queen that inched
her way to victory is... Ginger Minj.

[cheers and applause]

For this week's maxi challenge,
you'll act in the reenactment series

#RuHollywoodStories.

This week's episode,
Whatever Happened to Merle Ginsberg?

Y'all remember Merle? She sat
by my side for the first two seasons.

I could almost see her now.
So soft, so wise, so blurry.

In teams of three, you'll portray
Merle, myself, and Michelle Visage,

as you reenact our very different versions

of what ha-happened?

Ginger Minj, you won the mini challenge
so you get to pick your two teammates.

Kennedy Davenport and Katya.

And then you get to assign
the other two groups.

Max, Violet, and Kandy.

Ginger knows Violet and Kandy
have not been the strongest.

Regardless,
I am gonna whip 'em into shape.

And that means team three
is Miss Fame, Jaidynn, and Pearl.

God damn it, me and Pearl again.
I'm frustrated.

Now listen, I need you to break
this mystery wide open.

Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

You wanna roll through it so we get
the hang of it and don't mess up?

What if we were doing
like a three-way scissor?

Or like a triangle toenail clipping?
Or like a toenail polishing thing?

Okay.

Pearl was having a good time.

"What if we did this?"
I'm like, "What if we learn our lines?"

What I would like to do,
just kind of start acting stuff out

so it gets in our brains and stuff.

I ain't trying to look a fool again and go
home 'cause you wanna do a stunt.

'Cause I just don't wanna b*mb this,
'cause we gotta win.

We gotta have fun because there's nothing
to this but being completely nonsensical.

For our maxi challenge this week,
we will reenact the Ru Hollywood Story of,

What the Hell Ever Happened
to Merle Ginsberg?

-Okay, so how do we feel about characters?
-I don't know.

I'm a little bit over
these acting group challenges.

I'm sick of memorizing lines and lyrics,
and working with other people.

I'm not really comfortable playing Ru.

-Do you want Merle?
-I was comfortable with Michelle.

-'Cause I could do the Jersey thing.
-The Merle...

That one's off for me
because I do not know nothing about her.

The attitude shouldn't be,
"I don't know how to do this,"

or "I'm uncomfortable with it."
They need to be positive and excited.

It's like...

Good-bye, Merle?
But I'm not going anywhere.

-Ru and I are great friends.
-Well, I'm her best friend, okay?

And I'm supposed to be a judge here.
You got it, Merly girl?

Ginger is gonna be the evil villain,
which is perfect,

because she's playing it
like Ginger Minj as Danny Devito

as Tony Soprano as The Fonz
as Michelle Visage.

Hey, Merle, how's my cake?
Don't you want sprinkles?

So I have to find a way
to not get overshadowed by Ginger.

-Hello, hello, hello!
-[all] Hi!

In a moment, you'll meet with Ross Mathews
who will be directing your Ru-enactments.

And tomorrow, for the runway,
category is... Death Becomes Her.

-Now a warning?!
-[laughter]

Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

-Ginger, Kennedy, Katya, how are you?
-[all] Good. Good.

-Who's gonna play RuPaul?
-Me.

-It's just a joke, honey.
-[laughter]

-I figured that out.
-[Kennedy] Right.

You're doing Merle's story.

-I'm ready.
-Okay, places!

-Action!
-Good-bye, Merle?

But I'm not going anywhere.
Ru and I are great friends.

Well, I'm her best friend, see?

Ru, I brought you a cake.

All the brothers will like... I'm sorry.

It's all right, honey.

All the brothers will wanna eat this cake.

Speaking of,

I have to go speak to the new Pit Crew.

Cut!

That was a little rocky.

Kennedy's RuPaul
was the weirdest f*cking thing ever.

You have job security

for the rest of your life!

That was like...

I am just sending up
a silent prayer at this point

that we do not get dragged down
into the bottom because of her.

-Hello, team two.
-Hello.

-Hi, Ross.
-Places!

Okay, ready.

-Max, this is how you see Merle?
-It's not how I see Merle.

-But it's Michelle's side of the story.
-So thought behind this performance.

-Oh, of course.
-Yeah, you are the Meryl Streep of drag.

-Action.
-You can have my job, tramp!

Because I'm taking RuPaul's!

What?!

Um, let's cut. So on your, "What?"
you should be like, "What?"

Upset about it, grab your drink,
take a sip to calm yourself down.

-Okay.
-[Ross] Right?

I'm supposed to hold a cake and a drink
while I do all of this?

No one said it was easy.

-Action!
-Stay away from my man!

Mother...

-Can I get my line?
-Mother does not play that.

-Mother does not play!
-That.

-Oh, play that.
-Play that.

-Action!
-Stay away from my man!

Mother does not play!

-That.
-f*ck.

Let's do it again.

sh*t.

-Look at you.
-Hi, Ross Mathews.

-Your scene today is RuPaul's story.
-[Jaidynn] Yes.

-So a lot rests on your shoulders.
-I know.

Okay, let's get in positions.

Action.

You two are crazy!

I forgot my line!

I got frustrated.
And then next thing you know...

Get the crazy one and...

I'm just forgetting all my lines.

RuPaul, my monkeys
made you this potato salad.

Yay, I love a strong...
I don't know the line.

Yay, I love emotional time travel movies
with a strong female lead.

Yay, I love a strong female lead.
I love a...

I'm so struggling right now, to be honest.

-What's the struggle?
-This is the toughest day I've had.

I like to be professional,
and this is just embarrassing for me.

-I hear you.
-I want to do better than this.

And I'm hitting a wall.

I wanna talk real, I'm in a room of people
and this is a chance of a lifetime.

And I'm finding myself
having a conversation with myself.

Miss Fame decides to stop everything.

Just say the f*cking line!

I have not been to this place before
so I'm trying to...

-It's fine. Just be funny.
-I don't know what's better.

Should I not talk about my feelings
or should I just keep moving on?

Oh, my god. I feel like I'm dating you.

[Ross laughs]

-We'll talk later.
-We just gotta get through this scene.

I don't want to disappoint
anybody that's believed in me.

I don't want to make RuPaul disappointed
that I'm here because I'm not producing,

'cause I care a lot about my success.

-Let's do it. Let's do it, do it, do it.
-[Pearl] Let's get this party started.

Our runway look is Death Becomes Her.
How would your drag character die?

Girl, that is open to interpretation.
I want to see what these b*tches pull out.

For my Death Becomes Her look,
I'm going to be...

Gee, I don't know what I'm gonna be.

Maybe b*rned and...

I kind of morphosize into a glamazon,
but before that,

it's, like, a night of hooking.

[laughs]

Katya, how did your family feel
about doing drag?

They're amazing. I never had
to worry about it or feel self-conscious.

-Girl, I wish my mama would be like that.
-What's she like, Jaidynn?

Me and my mama are, like, best friends.

-But it's just kind of hard because...
-Of the drag?

Not really the drag thing.
It's just sexuality.

I have not officially
come out to my family yet.

We just kind of ignore the issue.

They're okay with the drag,
but not with the gay?

They're not really okay with the drag.
They know I do it.

My mom kind of lets me know,
"No, you ain't going in that direction."

She'll send me a text like, "I'm grateful
that one day you'll find you a wife."

It's hard because I love my family,
and my biggest fear is being disowned.

-Yeah.
-[Violet] And that's a real fear.

-It's, like, a serious fear.
-[Jaidynn] Yeah.

I think it may change my relationship

with my brothers, my mom,
and that's what I'm scared of most.

And that's the reason why I just...

stay to myself.

I'm sorry.

I don't want to live without my family.
I love my family too much.

-You know what I'm saying?
-Totally.

It's just crazy to not be able
to be your authentic self.

Even in your home.

And it's either,
I'll just live my life and marry a woman

and do what my family wants me to do
and be unhappy, or I can do me.

-So it's one of the two.
-Well then, do you and be happy.

[sighs] It's just a complicated thing.

In the end,
I just want to be accepted for who I am.

And I want people to know
that gay is okay. [sighs]

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl, put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe, let your whole body talk ♪

♪ And what? ♪

Welcome to the main stage
of RuPaul's Drag Race.

-Merle Ginsberg, OMG!
-Ru, my world's been empty without you.

-Did my restraining order expire?
-[laughs]

And, Michelle Visage.
Watch your back, honey.

No, seriously, watch your back.

Super judge, Ross Mathews,
what was it like directing my girls?

Oh, I was so good at directing,
I kind of gave myself a Woody Allen.

-[laughs]
-Hey.

-And my everything, Ariana Grande.
-This is the best day of my life.

-I'm not lying.
-So glad you're here.

Thank you.

This week we challenged our queens
to Ru-enact the Mystery of Merle Ginsberg.

Tonight they're ready to m*rder the runway
in their Death Becomes Her ensembles.

Gentlemen, start your engines,
and may the best woman win.

♪ Now, sissy that walk ♪

-[RuPaul] Katya.
-[Merle] Something seems fishy here.

[Ross]
I think we're gonna need a bigger boat.

[Katya] I'm summoning up
my best Tara Reid in Sharknado.

I've got the stringy, blond hair,
and I'm feeling the shark week fantasy.

-[Merle] Both have fabulous mouths.
-[Ross] Yes.

-[Michelle] And both unhinge at the jaw.
-[RuPaul] Ginger Minj.

-Looks like she suffered a grizzly death.
-[Michelle] Oh.

[Ginger]
I am serving you baby bear realness.

I give a little spin. I strike a pose.
I give a little growl.

-[Merle] Somebody's got their claws done.
-[RuPaul] She's bringing bear back.

[Merle] You go, growl.

[RuPaul]
LaGuardia Newark, Kennedy Davenport.

- Kennedy Fried Chicken.
- Is she a chicken or a horse?

[Merle] Giddyap, girl.

[Kennedy] After a night of hooking,
I got att*cked, thrown in the fire

and crystallized.

So I come out
a fierce glamazon drag queen, honey.

[RuPaul] A morality tale:
Do not go to Tijuana for plastic surgery.

[Merle] No.

-[RuPaul] Max.
-[Ariana] Pretty.

[Merle] The ghost of drag present.

[Max] I'm doing a jilted lover
that's stuck in purgatory as a ghost

because she committed su1c1de
by cutting out her own heart. It's tragic.

[RuPaul]
A little club soda'll take that right out.

-[Merle] That's a heart-stopping look.
-[RuPaul] Organ donor realness.

[RuPaul]
Kandy Ho. Queen of the damned.

[Merle] I vant to smell your veave.

[Kandy] I am feeling fierce right now.
I'm just a sexy vampire.

[RuPaul] I think she was fang banged
to death.

[Michelle] If she's lucky.

[Merle]
Kristen Stewart is eating her heart out.

-[RuPaul] Miss Fame.
-[Michelle] Oh!

-[RuPaul] What's running through her head?
-[Ariana] Living.

[Fame] I've been captured by the bride
of the man that I had an affair with.

And bitch got me
with a blade through the skull.

[Merle] She's got a splitting headache.

[RuPaul] The last time
I'll eat at Benihana.

[RuPaul] Pearl. Oh!

[Merle] My safe word is "whiplash."

[Michelle] Walking's difficult
with the new legs.

[Pearl] I'm feeling like all of my bones
are gonna give out at any given moment

and some poor janitor
is gonna have to sweep up my cremains.

[Ross] You should really stop
at the second face-lift.

It's quite enough.

[Michelle]
At least she had the ribs removed.

-[RuPaul] Jaidynn Diore Fierce.
-[Michelle] Orange is the new drag.

[Merle] She's looking really ripped.

[Jaidynn] I got in jail, and then I tried
to escape to go see my baby daddy.

And I didn't quite make it over the fence.

[Ross] It's criminal to look that good.

[RuPaul] She rises from the dead
once a month to meet her parole officer.

Violet Chachki. [gasps]

Oh, my God.

[Violet] I'm numb from the waist down,
tuck included.

I really could die, bitch.
I'm giving you realness.

[Merle]
She's got a smaller waist than Barbie.

[Ross]
Don't sneeze, honey. It's all gonna pop.

[Ariana] Amazing. Work!

♪ Now, sissy that walk ♪

Ladies, let's watch my favorite new show,
Ru Hollywood Stories.

First up, Merle's story.

[RuPaul]
Whatever happened to Merle Ginsberg?

I'm Merle Ginsberg, and this is my story.

[Merle] I was at the craft service table
getting my morning martini,

and I spotted RuPaul and said,

"Hey, Rusy-Q,
I'm so glad to be back for Season 3."

And RuPaul said, "Oh, Merly girl,
I could never do the show without you."

You have job security
for the rest of your life.

Little did I know that we were not alone.

[clears throat]

Oh, my God, you scared me.
I didn't see you there.

Not very observant for a judge, bitch.

Ru, I brought you a cake.

All of the brothers
will want to eat this cake.

Speaking of,
I need to say hey to the new Pit Crew.

[Katya] Good-bye, Merle?

But I'm not going anywhere
Ru and I are great friends.

Well, I'm her best friend, see?
And I'm supposed to be a judge here!

Someone slipped something in my drink

because I could not believe
what happened next.

But the surveillance camera
caught everything.

[grunting and screaming]

What in the name of La Toya Jackson
is going on here?

Merle fell and I think she bumped
that part of her brain.

Now she can't judge good drag from bad.

But we're supposed
to be sh**ting Season 3.

I guess I'll just have to take her place.

[laughs]

And that's how that devil bitch,
Michelle Visage, stole my job.

Next up, Michelle's story.

[RuPaul]
Whatever happened to Merle Ginsberg?

I'm Michelle Visage,
and here's what really happened.

I was visiting the set during Season 3,
sippin' on my sizzurp,

and I noticed RuPaul more upset than ever
before, because Merle was saying,

"Ru, these earrings would look much better
on someone pretty, like me."

-And Ru said something like...
-Stay away from my things.

And stay away from my man!
Mother does not play that!

And I was like, "This bitch?"
I had to step in.

-Hey, I brought us all a cake.
-[Kandy] How sweet.

Let me tell the boys.

Well, look at this little witch,
trying to steal my job!

-Of course not.
-You can have my job.

I'm taking RuPaul's!
Get ready for Merle Ginsberg's Drag Race.

[Michelle] Someone slipped
something into my drink

because I couldn't believe
what happened next.

But the surveillance camera
caught everything.

And the next thing I remember,
Merle was trying to k*ll Ru!

What in the name of Janice Dickinson
is going on here?

She was trying to k*ll you
and then take over the show.

Season 3 is coming, and I need a judge.
[gasps] Michelle, could you?

Then I said, reluctantly,
"If Ru needs me, then yes."

"Yes, I will become a judge
on RuPaul's Drag Race."

And that's why that devil bitch,
Merle Ginsberg, left the show.

Next up, my story.

[RuPaul]
Whatever happened to Merle Ginsberg?

You know what my name is but, frankly,
this is how it really went down.

I was oiling up the Pit Crew
when Merle came over to me and said,

"What if the drag queens judge us

instead of us judging them?"

And I said, "Only Judy can judge me."

And then Michelle showed up,
and she had no cake.

All she brought me
was some dried up, old, nasty muffins.

And they weren't even gluten-free.

Happy Hanukah, RuPaul. [laughs]

My monkeys made you the potato salad.

Yay, I love an emotional time travel movie
with a strong female lead.

You two should talk.

I have to get to the...

Pit Crew.

-A worm stole my credit card once.
-German tourists often wear sandals.

[RuPaul] I wish somebody had slipped
something in my drink, Kennedy,

'cause what ha-happened next
was cray-cray.

And, child, that surveillance camera
caught everything.

Felt like I was in the middle of freaknik
in Miami, Florida.

What in the name of Fantasia Barrino
is going on up in here?

Who are we gonna get to judge Season 3?

[crying]

Just grab the crazy one
and put her on the judges' panel.

-And then the Pit Crew said...
-"Which one's the crazy one?"

There you have it. That's how
that devil bitch, Michelle Visage,

replaced that devil bitch, Merle Ginsberg.

Hand to God, honey.

[laughter and applause]

[Miss Fame] The video wasn't
as bad as I was expecting it to be.

I still don't know what the f*ck I said.

If you asked me to repeat a line,
I would not know any of them.

Ladies, I've made some decisions.

Ginger Minj, yours is the winning team.

-Yes!
-You are all safe.

But tonight on the runway,
one of you stole the show.

Katya, Condragulations.
You're the winner of this challenge.

You'll receive
a $2,000 gift card from Fabric Planet.

Yes! I won a challenge! I am so excited.

Bodily fluid's spraying out
of every orifice.

Katya, Ginger, and Kennedy,
you may leave the stage.

[RuPaul]
Now it's time for the judges' critiques.

-[Ru] First up, Max.
-You as me?

I wasn't seeing it.
It was a little too masculine.

Max, I asked you for one thing.
What was it that I asked you for?

You asked me not to wear any gray hair.

I'm waiting, and I'm becoming impatient.

I couldn't disagree with Michelle more.
Gray hair is your thing and it's not bad.

Nobody's asking her to change,
just try something different.

-That's exactly what changing is.
-[laughs]

I love this look, because it told a story,
and it was scary but beautiful.

-You described Michelle.
-[laughs]

All right, up next, Violet Chachki.
Now, how many inches is your waist?

Either 18 or 19.

You might have been playing a dead person,
but we were living.

You as me, I'm not from Staten Island.
I am from New Jersey.

-What's the difference?
-We say our Rs, darling.

-It's a characterization, Michelle.
-'Cause I always talk like this, Ru!

-Like I'm Jackie Mason.
-All right, next up, Kandy Ho.

I am over the vampire thing.
I feel like it's a cliché now.

As Ru, the beard was back.
What was going on with the crazy hairline?

It was so stiff.
I didn't think you captured her at all.

All right, next up, Miss Fame.
How's your head?

It hurts.
I can barely hear inside this muff.

It's like a shell.

-She hasn't had any complaints yet.
-Thank you, Michelle.

Yesterday you had a mini breakdown on set.
What was going on?

It was self-sabotage.
My mouth is going and I can't shut up.

-I cannot stop my mouth.
-But I want you...

I want to be present
and get it out of the way.

I'm a sensitive,
heart on my sleeve person,

and I want to be able
to bring that to the panel.

-I want to show you that.
-But you have to learn to listen.

Because when I talk to you,
you're a bit ahead of what I'm gonna say.

The same with acting. You have to listen
so that you can respond properly.

I don't see what they are talking about.
I think you're fabulous.

-Thank you.
-All right, next up, Pearl.

Someone set their alarm clock
and finally woke up.

I definitely have shaken off
whatever was going on.

Talk about Death Becomes Her.

It feels like the old self d*ed
and the new self has emerged.

And now we're gonna go
to you portraying me.

-What the f*ck was that?
-[laughs]

I came alive
when I put that breastplate on.

-[Merle] It seems to work for everyone.
-Except for you.

Next up, Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

I got the convict,
'cause I might have dated a few in my day.

But looking at everybody,
I feel it's just a rung lower than them.

Yesterday was frustrating
because you didn't know the lines.

-Yeah.
-That bummed me out. I think you're good.

[RuPaul]
Thank you. We've heard enough.

While you untuck backstage,
the judges and I will deliberate.

Now, just between us squirrel friends,

what do you think? Let's start with Max.

She came out very goofy,
and I said, "Do you wanna fix that?"

And she said,
"No, this is Michelle's version of Merle."

Michelle, I can't believe
you would say Max is predictable.

-You don't know what she'll look like?
-No.

She'll have a white face,
gray hair, and a spot on her face.

As somebody who always wears
their hair the same, I identify with Max.

-Would you do gray hair?
-If it were in a ponytail.

[RuPaul] Violet Chachki.

I called her out on the comedy timing,
but that's just not her strong suit.

But to stand up there cinched like that.
That was amazing.

-I know, Ru, you've heard of Mr. Pearl.
-Yes.

The most famous corset maker in the world.
He has like a 16-inch waist.

I thought I'll never see a person
who looks like that.

-And tonight, we did.
-I miss us, Merle.

-I know, Ru. I do, too.
-So let's move on to Kandy Ho.

I feel like she's flat lined.
It was all wrong.

She was beautiful. I loved her movement.
But I don't find her memorable.

Miss Fame. Ross, I know
she had a little bit of a breakdown.

She actually timed out and said,
"Can I have a real moment here?"

I don't know. I love an emotional diva.
I just kind of relate to that.

[RuPaul]
Pearl has come a long way.

Her acting in the skit,
I really, really enjoyed it.

Have you and Michelle
ever made out in a vat of Jell-O?

-I would remember that.
-Is that what you're saying now in public?

Yeah, roll tape.

[RuPaul] Jaidynn Diore Fierce.

When I got to sit with her on the set,
there were these moments of good,

but to get there was so much work.

That might be okay
if you're doing dinner theater,

but on the stage of RuPaul's Drag Race,
it's just not gonna cut it.

All right, silence!

I've made my decision.
Bring back my ghouls.

Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.

Max. You're safe.

Thank you.

Pearl.

You're safe.

[mouths words] Thank you.

Kandy Ho,
you vamped it up on the runway,

but you didn't sink your teeth
into the challenge.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Violet Chachki.

You're safe.

Jaidynn Diore Fierce,

this week you failed to break out.

Miss Fame, you got stuck in your head,
and not just by a 12-inch steak Kn*fe.

Jaidynn...

My dear, I'm sorry,
but you're up for elimination.

Lord, my heart is b*ating,
my feet are shaking,

and these are not my dance heels.

Miss Fame, you're safe,
and you may join the other girls.

Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight, you were asked
to prepare a lip-sync performance

of Break Free by Ariana Grande.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself from elimination.

The time has come...

...to lip-sync...

...for your life!

[Kandy] Jaidynn has nothing on me
when it comes to lip-synching.

Girl, mm-mm.

Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

♪ If you want it ♪

♪ Take it
I should've said it before ♪

♪ Tried to hide it ♪

♪ Fake it ♪

♪ I can't pretend anymore ♪

♪ I only wanna die alive ♪

[Jaidynn] I'm giving the judges
everything. Honey, I want this.

This is my dream.

♪ Don't wanna hear you lie tonight ♪

[Kandy] I'm giving it everything I have.
I want the judges to see it right.

♪ This is the part
When I say I don't want ya ♪

♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪

♪ This is the part when I break free ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't resist it no more ♪

I am watching this lip sync
and getting my life.

These girls are going for blood.
This's gonna be a nail-biter till the end.

♪ It was fatal in my dreams
It felt so right ♪

♪ But I woke up every time ♪

♪ Baby, this is the part
When I say I don't want ya ♪

♪ I'm stronger than I've been before ♪

♪ This is the part when I break free ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't resist it no more ♪

[cheers and applause]

[Ariana] Oh, my God.

[RuPaul laughs]

-[Michelle] Oh, God.
-Ladies, I've made my decision.

Jaidynn Diore Fierce, shantay, you stay.

-[cries] Thank you.
-You may join the other girls.

Miss Ho, you came from Puerto Rico,

but now the whole world
is gonna have a Kandy Crush.

Now...

sashay away.

[applause]

[Kandy] It's a bittersweet moment.
I'm not gonna lie.

I wanted to stay longer,
but I'm going to Puerto Rico

and rub it against other queens' faces,
because I was here and you weren't.

Condragulations, ladies, and remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how you gonna love somebody else?
Can I get an amen in here?

-[all] Amen!
-All right, now let the music play.

♪ Take me up, up, up, up, whoa! ♪

♪ Oh, up whoa, oh, up, we can... ♪

[Ru] Bye!