- Previously on
RuPaul's Drag Race...
- Rolaskatox is Roxxxy,
Alaska, and Detox.
- I have narcolepsy.
[snores]
- You'll be writing
and recording
an inspirational anthem.
- Coco, there's a lot
of pressure on you
to start this out.
- Yeah.
Thanks, Detox.
- For what?
- ♪ Can I get an amen ♪
- ♪ Just love yourself ♪
- What's going on with you
and Detox?
- Rolaskatox.
- No!
Cliques can be dangerous.
- Jinkx Monsoon.
- There was, like, 20 different
eras going on.
She's consistently a mess.
- This week's winner
is Ivy Winters.
- Thank you so much.
[giggles]
- Coco Montrese,
shantay, you stay.
Jade, sashay away.
- Thank you guys.
- Oh, Jade.
- "Cheers to my fish, fabulous,
and fierce sisters."
- We love you, Jade.
- Oh, God.
Bottom two twice.
I can't let Ru down anymore.
I'm not gonna take it
for granted anymore.
So you b*tches
better look the f*ck out.
- Oh!
- Ivy, you won your challenge.
- I know!
- Congratulations.
[cheers and applause]
- And you always look amazing
on the runway.
I had my fingers crossed I could
possibly win two challenges
in a row, but, I mean, Ivy,
it was very well-deserved.
- Jinkx likes to play
the "I think I did good,
"but I don't know.
They really hate my runways."
You're acting like
a little wounded girl,
and I'm fixing to call you out.
- Has everyone won
a challenge except...
have you won a challenge?
- Except me...a mini-challenge.
- And me, I haven't won.
- We're the only ones.
- It's just so hard
being here in Sharon's shadow.
She won four challenges.
This is not the place for me
to be supporting cast.
I have to show that I do
stand alone.
all: Rolaskatox.
- I don't want to be part of
Rolaskatox.
I want to be Alaska.
- The winner of RuPaul's
Drag Race receives
a sickening supply of
Colorevolution cosmetics,
a luxury trip
courtesy of alandchuck.travel,
headline Logo's Drag Race tour
featuring Absolut vodka...
cocktails perfected...
and a cash prize of $100,000.
And tonight, extra special
guest judges Leslie Jordan
and Absolut's Jeffrey Moran.
- Rolaskatox.
- Rolaskatox.
It's a new day in the WERK room.
I know what I have to do,
and I'm gonna do it.
Alaska!
- What?
- Oh, she said Alaska.
Did your friend leave y'all?
- No more Rolaskatox?
- We can't do cliques.
It's too dangerous.
I guess it's just Rotox now.
It's hard to say
to Detox and Roxxxy
that I don't want to be
in this little girl group
that we had together.
- Ooh, she broke the group up.
- Smart girl.
[alarm sounds]
- Ooh!
- Ooh, girl, you got shemail.
Hey, queens.
all: Hey.
- It's feeding time.
So if you've got a beef,
it's time to start slinging
sass and serving insults.
- Ah!
- But never ever let them
see you choke.
[chokes]
all: Uh-oh!
- Hello, hello, hello.
all: Hi, Ru!
- Whoo, whoo, whoo, whoo!
- Ladies, in the great
tradition of Paris is Burning,
get ready to visit the library,
darlings.
[cheers and applause]
Because reading is what?
all: Fundamental!
- That's right, that's right.
First up, Detox, the library
is open.
- Oh.
Roxxxy Andrews, condragulations
on the weight loss, but to me,
you're still Boxxxy Mandrews.
[all laugh]
Alyssa Edwards.
Overbites are very "in"
this season.
Too bad your performance here
is so underwhelming.
- Oh-oh!
- [laughs]
- Sharon Needles...what? No?
[all laugh]
I've had it.
- Jinkx Monsoon.
- Roxxxy Andrews, there are
two types of peanut butter,
creamy and crunchy.
[all laugh]
- I'm not crunchy, baby.
- Detox, you won the challenge.
You can take the chicken mask
off now.
[all laugh]
- [clucking]
- Roxxxy Andrews.
- Coco Montrese, for someone
who calls themself a top,
you sure do like
being on the bottom.
- Ooh!
[all laugh]
- Jinkx Monsoon,
ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
You're great at the challenges,
but on the runway,
you're a bust.
[all laugh]
- Detox, is Amanda Lepore
your mother?
'Cause there's a lot of silicone
going on there.
- Ooh.
- Jinkx Monsoon,
Boy George called.
He wants his hat back.
- [gasps]
- Ooh.
- Alyssa Edwards.
Never mind.
all: Ooh!
- Ivy Winters.
I can't do it
because reading you
is like reading
a Walt Disney book.
It's simply too easy.
[all laugh]
Detoxic.
Honey, I know you think
you're serving body and look,
but the only thing I'm getting
is The Hills Have Eyes.
- Uh-oh.
- Ms. Coco.
You must be blind
because it looks like
you're using Tang
for your highlights.
- [laughs]
- Aah!
- Ms. Alaska, I think you should
wear a mask
for every challenge.
- [laughs]
I don't want to read
these girls.
I love them so mu...all right,
let's go.
[all laugh]
Alyssa Edwards, Miss USA...
Oh, wait.
[all gasp]
- Why are you laughing?
- Detox, you're so seductive,
but unfortunately, it's illegal
to do it with you
because most of your parts
are under 18 years of age.
[all laugh]
Long story short, the season of
the fish smells like trout.
[all laugh]
I don't know what came over me.
- The library
is now officially closed.
The winner of today's
mini-challenge is...
Alaska.
[applause]
- Whoo!
- You shady bitch.
Ladies, for this week's
main challenge,
you're going to get
a chance to read...
me.
[all shout]
- Nuh-uh.
- You'll be competing
in the RuPaul Roast.
- Aah!
- Oh, my God.
- What?
- Proudly presented by Absolut.
Over 30 years ago, Absolut Vodka
was one of the first spirits
to support the gay and lesbian
community.
They were also the first
to launch
a citron and a mandarin vodka,
making the world
a fruitier place,
one cocktail at a time.
Now in that spirit, you need to
write and perform
outrageous material that really
lets me have it...
plus the judges...
plus each other.
No one's safe at a roast,
chickens.
Now to help you prepare,
you'll be working with
three professionals:
the shelarious Nadya Ginsburg...
- [gasps]
- Deven Green...
- Oh!
- And the one and only
Bruce Vilanch.
[all cheering]
- Alaska, you won the
mini-challenge,
so you'll decide the order
of the presenters.
- Oh.
- Gentlemen,
start your engines.
And may the best woman win.
- Does anyone have a preference
as to going early, late?
'Cause I don't want to f*ck
anyone over.
- I would prefer to go
just in the middle.
- In the middle? Okay.
- Me too, in the middle
for me too.
- I want to go after you.
- Where are you
putting yourself?
- No one wants to go first.
But, I mean, I don't mind
going first.
Is that okay?
- Yeah.
- That's the hardest one.
Wrong move.
- This challenge is important
because everyone knows me
as a comedy queen.
So there's high pressure
right now
to put my money
where my mouth is.
- It's so hard to think of,
like, mean things to say
about her.
- Ivy's very sweet
and well-mannered.
And in a roast,
that's gonna be hard.
- I am just trying to, like,
really rack my brain.
And I still can't think
of one joke.
- Coming up...
- I put myself first.
- Are you going for
Miss Congeniality
or America's next
drag superstar?
- Girl, that's fake to me.
- I'm not acting when I say
I'm insecure about things.
- Bullshit.
- [laughs]
[laughs]
- The main challenge this week
is to roast RuPaul,
as well as our fellow queens
and the judging panel.
I just have to kick ass at it,
because at a drag show,
when you b*mb,
you don't just hear crickets.
You hear shotguns
getting cocked.
- I can't read this last one.
Because they're gonna be like,
t...
Humph.
- I keep hearing, "Ooh!"
- Oh, my gosh.
- "Ooh, um..."
- [mutters]
- "Oh, no, I can't."
- Oh, my gosh, y'all.
I can't do it.
I'm gonna have to rewrite it.
I'm gonna read y'all
the beginning of mine.
Tell me if it's too much.
"RuPaul, where should I start?
"With the cracked-out
beginning of your career
or the cracking of your voice
at every live performance?"
Oh, my gosh.
Y'all, am I just gonna be too...
Is that too much, Roxxxy?
[laughs]
[rubs hands together]
- She's saying her jokes
are so much
and she says her joke, bitch,
and you can hear crickets.
- I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
- You go back in your corner,
and you figure it the f*ck out
and come back and talk to us
when you got
something together.
Darling.
- Hello, hello, hello.
[all shout]
- Oh, my!
- No, no, no.
- Since nobody knows RuPaul
better than me,
I am here to help you all
with your roast material.
- Oh, my God.
- Hello, Alaska.
- Hi.
- Tell me what you got.
You're a smart one.
- Well, I'm hitting her music,
her movies...
- What about the music?
- Ru, your music
is so auto-tuned
you make Cher sound like
Susan Boyle.
- [laughs]
Good.
It's so nice to see Alaska
again.
- Hi.
- Now, you won
the mini-challenge.
- Yes.
- So you were in charge
of the order.
- Mm-hmm.
- So how did you decide how
everybody was gonna go?
- I asked everyone if they have
a preference
as to if they want to
go in the beginning,
the middle, the end.
And I put myself first.
- Yeah, are...are you going for
Miss Congeniality
or America's
next drag superstar here?
- Um...
- In the end, someone's gotta
go down, right?
- Yeah.
- It could be you.
See you at the roast, baby.
Hi, Roxxxy girl.
- Hi, Michelle.
- Does this challenge
make you nervous?
- Reading is something
I've always done
to the queens at the bar.
You know, they think I'm a mean
girl anyways, but...
- How do you plan on reading
somebody like Ru?
- Her music, how she sings.
- How does she sing?
- It's auto-tune.
- Auto-tune seems to be
a common thing so far.
So you might want to listen,
and if something's repeated,
take it out or make it funnier...
- Than the person before you.
- Yes.
- And I can be funnier
than Alaska.
- [gasps]
- [laughs]
- Keep it funny.
That's all we can tell you.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Ivy Winters.
- Hi, beautiful.
- How are you?
- A little bit nervous,
to be honest.
I don't consider myself
a comedian,
so it's definitely
a challenge for me.
- What kind of topics are you
gonna be roasting Ru on?
- I know he wears
amazing costumes,
so I think I'm gonna
kind of hit on that.
- How are Ru's dresses funny?
I mean, they're flawless.
Give me another one.
- Um, I know Santino being
a sewer and he designs, um...
- Some sewing jokes?
Doesn't sound too funny.
Your page is empty.
- I think I've ripped out,
like, five pages.
I'm really trying to rack
my brain.
- Keep racking.
I'm gonna let you back at it.
Keep on keeping on, baby.
- All right.
- Coco Montrese.
Hi, gorgeous.
- How are you?
- How are you feeling about
this challenge?
- I'm not a comedian by...
by far,
but I'm taking a different
approach than, you know,
a lot of the other girls
in this competition.
I'm gonna be Coco Montrese,
Ru's old childhood friend
from the Brewster Projects.
- Okay.
I think it's important for you,
this challenge, Coco.
- Very.
I've been in the bottom twice.
- So let's deliver
this sh*t.
- I will deliver.
- All right.
- Thanks.
No RuPaulogies.
I'm not gonna apologize anymore.
I'm gonna show him
what I'm made of.
- Alyssa Edwards.
- Miss Michelle,
the first lady, how are you?
- I love it.
Are you a funny queen, Alyssa?
- With reading, some people
can take it personal.
- Okay, they can take it
personally if it's not funny.
But if it's funny,
you're almost forgiven.
It's, like, given a pass.
- Right.
But you know when you're with
your friends, and you're like,
"Girl, that outfit is tired
and ridiculous.
You look late.
Bitch, you need to go change."
- That's not a joke.
That's a read.
- It is, but it's still
being funny.
- It's not a joke.
- Not a joke, no.
And I've taken it personal
before because I had a girl
in this competition tell me
I was fat in my costume.
- It's not a joke.
Gotta be funny.
- Okay.
- It has to be joke after joke
after joke.
All right, so I'm gonna let you
go back to your work.
- Okay, thank you, Michelle.
- All right, baby.
Good luck.
All right, ladies.
Gather round.
In a moment, you'll be meeting
with your comedy coaches.
And tomorrow we'll be joined by
our extra special guest judges,
star of TV and stage,
Leslie Jordan...
[all cheer]
And Absolut Vodka guru,
Jeffrey Moran.
- Oh, yay.
- So come decked out in
your swankiest cocktail attire.
Oh, and one more thing.
You'll be roasting Ru
in front of a live audience.
- Oh, my gosh!
[all shout]
- Oh, shut up!
- So don't f*ck it up.
Byesies.
- Bye.
- [snores]
I do have narcolepsy,
and in the moment where I'm most
worried about my jokes,
my body
starts to shut down.
- You might think I want to say
"Jinkx, wake up."
But sorry, girl.
- [snores]
- Coming up...
- Santino, will you please shut
the f*ck up?
[laughs]
- It has to be funny.
Seriously.
- [laughs]
[laughs]
- Jinkx is here.
- Hi, Jinkxy.
- Hi, Jinkx.
- Our coaches today are
Deven Green, Bruce Vilanch,
and Nadya Ginsburg.
I am most shaken by Deven Green.
I have been doing her "welcome
to my home" video shtick
for years.
So I'm just gonna rattle through
all of this.
- Cool.
- RuPaul, you are pulled...
[clears throat]
RuPaul in her heyday would have
made...ah.
I ruined it.
- Stop being such an adult,
and be a fun-loving performer.
- Okay.
My career as a comedian
might be on the line here.
- RuPaul, how do you get to be
supermodel of the world?
When you find out,
can you let me know?
- Well, that is a starting point
for somewhere
that you didn't go.
Just go deeper, as somebody
once said to me
who I never dated again.
- Don't be afraid to go out
there and really be as vicious
as you can because that's
the name of the game.
- I would write that down.
It's a great note.
- I'm writing that down.
- Let's talk about
Michelle Visage.
Everybody, Michelle Visage.
She's lovely.
Who did your boob job, Michelle?
Boobsforqueens.com?
They...they do breast plates
for drag queens.
- I think you need something
a little easier to process.
Just make sure you really
drive it home.
- Coco!
- Tomorrow I'm just going with
I'm Ru good friend
from the projects.
Ru don't know I'm gonna be here.
You know, straight from
the hood.
It's gonna be a stretch for me.
- [laughs]
- All right.
- I'ma say, "you know, Ru,
"I want to know
what you gonna do
"when that entourage of makeup
artists you got go on strike.
I seen you do your makeup
by yourself, fool."
- I would be mindful of...
it should be light-hearted,
not malicious and mean-spirited.
- Like her face has been b*at
more times than Susan Lucci
at the Daytime Emmys.
- Right.
- Coco is not a comedian.
But RuPaul's long lost friend
from the Brewster Projects
is a comedian.
She tell it like it t-i-is.
And she ain't apologizing for it
while she pat her weave.
- Okay, Mr. RuPaul Charles.
After your less award-earning
role in Starrbooty,
you should not only sashay away,
but jump off a damn cliff.
[laughs]
- I think the general rule
in a roast is
it's great to be evil,
but it has to be funny.
You gotta have a couple of
jokes, seriously.
- Santino, will you please shut
the f*ck up
with your
no-drag-knowledge mouth?
[laughs]
- Do you have any more jokes?
- [chuckles]
- I'll just start with my whole
spiel about Leslie Jordan.
The movie The Help is chock-full
of unbelievable performances.
The most unbelievable is you
being a heterosexual.
Leslie, you're gayer than George
Michael f*cking Elton john.
- It's important
that you not rush.
Take your time.
- And find the funniest nugget.
Take it even one step further
with some of the punch lines.
- Ru and the rest of the judges
are expecting a lot out of me.
I have to be funny.
- Roxxxy.
Let's hear your material.
- Okay, let's start with Ru.
Your laugh is as fake as
Lee Press-On Nails.
They're sticky, annoying,
and never fun.
Then again,
so is Alyssa Edwards.
- What do you call it
when you flatline?
- You're dead.
- Code blue.
- Thank you.
More, more.
What else do you have?
- Yeah, what else...what are
your other jokes?
- Okay, the other one I have for
Ru is
"Ru, your acting to me
is very cute.
Unlike all the girls that are
left in this competition."
- Well, that's...
it's not really funny.
It's just an insult.
- When the coaches completely
rejected what I was giving them,
it threw me, and I'm completely
defeated.
Like, first joke off the bat
was just, like,
"Oh, mm, you're not
making us laugh.
Okay, what else do you have?"
And I was like...
I'm, like, redoing my whole
script right now.
That was the first time I just
wanted, like, to leave and cry.
It sucks.
[sighs]
- Today we will be roasting
the legendary Ms. RuPaul.
Not only am I nervous
that we're doing comedy,
but it's in front of
a live audience.
Honey, tonight I am shaking
in my pumps.
- Ms. Jinkx standing over there
looking like the mad hatter
right now.
What's this challenge?
Alice in Wonderland?
- Coco, why are you still doing
your ventriloquist dummy makeup?
all: Ooh!
- Jinkx try to act like
she innocent
and that she's not reading.
- I don't act
like I'm innocent.
- Now, Ms. Jinkx, I want to ask
you this for real, girl.
Do you feel like you deliver
glamour?
- I don't think I deliver
anything but what I deliver.
And what I've been delivering
lately
has been a big, old confusion.
- That's all bullshit.
I'm not believing that.
- You ain't buyin', Ms. Roxxxy?
She's sellin', and you ain't
buyin'?
- I ain't buyin' sh*t.
You come across as
"I don't think I'm gonna win,
but I'm just here doing good
until I can't do good anymore."
- I feel like sometimes when I
do well in the challenges,
I don't really get to feel
that great about it
because I get
b*at down on the runway.
It's my own thing I'm tackling.
- Girl, that's fake to me.
You know what you can do,
but you play the card
as the innocent,
"I don't know.
Maybe I'm in the bottom two."
And I feel like, you know...
- Yeah, it's just like,
really, girl?
- I'm not acting when I say I'm
insecure about things, though.
- Ms. Jinkx, you know exactly
what I'm saying,
you know
what role you're playing.
- I know what you're saying,
and I do not agree with you.
It is not an act when I tell you
I'm nervous about sh*t.
That's how I feel.
- Okay, well, girl,
if you're not gonna take
the constructive criticism
and how I'm just trying to
explain to you how I feel.
- Many jokes and two faces...
- Ooh!
- Jinkx Monsoon!
- [laughs]
Welcome to the main stage of
RuPaul's Drag Race.
Michelle Visage, are you ready
for some roasting?
- Bring it on, b*tches.
- [laughs]
Santino Rice.
- I am ready to get ribbed for
her pleasure.
- [laughs]
Leslie Jordan, are you scared
just a little bit?
- Terrified.
- Good. You should be.
Absolut's Jeffrey Moran,
what flavor of Absolut
would this be?
- Absolut Pears in the
Garden of Good and Evil.
- Mm, evil.
This week we challenged
our queens
to sharpen their comedic skills
in the first ever
RuPaul Roast.
So enjoy your Absolut cocktails,
and remember, if you can't laugh
at yourself,
how in the hell are you
gonna laugh at somebody else?
[laughs]
Gentlemen, start your engines.
And may the best woman win.
Coming up...
- You know at the beginning
of the show
you come in the room, girl,
pants so high.
He look like he in New Orleans
in Hurricane Katrina, girl.
[all laugh]
- [laughs]
[laughs]
[cheers and applause]
- Hello, everyone, and welcome
to the first ever RuPaul Roast.
[cheers and applause]
You all know Leslie Jordan.
[cheers and applause]
Don't lie.
No, you don't.
[all laugh]
Leslie Jordan is the only man
on earth
to have f*cked more gay men
than Michelle Visage.
[all laugh]
Michelle Visage.
You can take the girl
out of New Jersey,
but you can't keep the girl
from giving blow jobs
to homeless men
along the New Jersey turnpike.
But we're here
celebrating RuPaul.
RuPaul, you've been
in the industry
a long, long, long, long, long,
long, long time.
RuPaul is so old that
the Hindenburg disaster
nearly destroyed
her bat mitzvah.
[all laugh]
RuPaul is so old that her
colostomy bag is made of wood.
[all laugh]
RuPaul is so old that
when she opens her legs,
all you hear is...
[raspy exhale]
[all laugh]
She's done movies, music,
television,
and I have just one thing
to say.
Please stop immediately.
[all laugh]
Thank you, mama.
We love you.
[cheers and applause]
It is my great pleasure
to bring to the stage
our next "entertainer."
Roxxxy Andrews.
And that's Roxxxy with three Xs,
just like her dress size.
- Oh!
- Thank you, Alaska...
a tired, boring, weird,
second-rate version
of your husband.
[audience ohs]
You know, RuPaul, you love it
for all of us
to call you our mom.
How the f*ck
can I call you my mom
if you're as old
as my grandpa?
[faint laughter]
Michelle Visage,
with that much makeup,
all of your wigs, and...
light on your face,
maybe we should call you...
Michelle Mirage.
[scattered laughter]
RuPaul, I want to thank you
for having me here tonight.
- Y'all, I'm so happy
to be here.
I never been out the house.
It's been a long time, y'all.
I'm Ru good cousin
from the Brewster Projects.
She didn't know I was
coming tonight.
You didn't know I was gonna be
here, did you?
- [laughs] No.
- And Michelle...you go back
with Michelle
farther than you go back
with me.
You knew Michelle when Michelle
was Michael.
[all laugh]
So I'm flipping through the
channels, I say, "You seen Ru?
Ru on TV!"
I say, "What the hell is he
thinking?"
You know, at the beginning
of the show,
you come in the room, girl.
"Hello, hello!"
Girl, you look like the black
Pee Wee Herman.
[all laugh]
Pants so high.
He look like he in New Orleans
in Hurricane Katrina, girl.
[riotous laughter]
[cheers and applause]
- It's gonna be hard to top
Coco.
But look at her.
Who would want to top Coco?
[all laugh]
Michelle Visage is so full
of semen.
Period.
[all laugh]
No, seriously.
She's a whore.
Now on to the grand
high bitch herself.
Ru, what I admire most about you
is your ability
to look at these tired queens
and always find
a compliment for them.
You're so full of sh*t,
the toilet's jealous.
[all laugh]
Give it up for RuPaul.
- Hello, everyone.
Having sex with Santino is a lot
like Ru's music career...
Awkward.
- You would know.
- [laughs]
- I feel like
whenever Michelle farts,
a fairy gets her wings.
[all laugh]
Speaking of fairies,
hello, Leslie.
RuPaul, with these long legs
and feathers you like to wear,
you're one step away
from looking like
Big Bird's grandmother.
[audience oohs]
[cheers and applause]
- I thought I had auditioned
for RuPaul's Next...
[microphone feedback]
Drag queen of the year.
[microphone feedback]
Little did I know I was walking
into the largest cross-dressing
convention of all time.
[scattered laughter]
But this is about you,
mother Ru...
From the cracked-out nights
in the bathroom
or the cracking of your voice
at every live performance.
This was the best bunch
of people
you could get to come judge?
Can I get a gay man?
Santino Rice, what the hell you
know about winning something?
But you and Coco Montrese do
share something in common, okay.
And that's not only
your foolish wardrobe,
but being a runner-up...
- Oh...
- Don't get bitter.
Just get better.
[microphone feedback]
I thank you, and good night.
[applause]
- Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
Wasn't he delightful?
[all laugh]
God bless him,
he tried his hardest.
Oh, f*ck.
Where do I f*cking start?
Oh, God.
Let's start with Leslie Jordan.
It's great to see you.
[chuckles]
The Help is one of my most
favorite movies of all time.
And your performance
was quite unbelievable.
Because you played
a heterosexual male.
You are f*cking gayer than the
Fire Island production of Rent.
[all laugh]
But enough with that old queen.
Let's talk about the other
old queen on the panel,
Michelle Visage.
[all laugh]
Let me just look at my little
notes really quick, f*ck.
God, I had to write little
to fit all this in.
[laughter]
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Michelle's favorite movie in the
world is Showgirls.
And much like Nomi Malone,
she relies on the talents
of her black friend.
[all laugh]
Ru, you are a f*cking legend.
And I just hope that you're
having the time of your life.
Because you don't have much time
left.
[all laugh]
Good night, you guys.
Thank you so much
for coming out.
[cheers and applause]
- Coming up...
- You were trying too hard.
- It was boring,
it was humiliating,
and uncomfortable to watch.
- Wah-wah.
- [laughs]
[laughs]
Ladies, it's time for the
judges' critiques.
Let's start with Alaska.
- Hi.
- Comedy is like music.
It's something you hear
or you don't.
And you definitely
hear the music.
- Thank you.
- I thought you looked
beautiful tonight in your LBD.
And up there at the podium,
you were very funny,
but it's tough to go first.
You really should have taken it
even further.
- Moving on to Ivy Winters.
- Hey.
- We both wore green.
- I know.
- Yeah.
- You wore it best.
- [laughs]
- Tonight...I love you in green,
I love the red hair.
Not sure about the gloves.
- I love the gloves.
- I don't think you need them.
- During the roast, your
cards were a bit of a crutch,
and you kept looking at them.
- And you seemed
so unsure of yourself.
You were so nervous.
- Next up, Jinkx Monsoon.
- You have a career in or out
of drag in comedy.
You k*lled.
- Thank you.
- Jinkx, oh, Jinkx.
Let's start with
the runway look...
I love it!
- [laughs]
- Right hair, right makeup.
I am so friggin' proud of you.
- To hear that from
Michelle Visage, oh, my God,
that was worth its weight
in gold.
- Detox.
- Hi.
- You were so mean to me.
But there was a twinkle
in your eye.
Your tongue was firmly planted
in your cheek.
- The one thing I wasn't fond of
was you relying too much
on the word "f*ck."
You can let the room breathe.
It's okay.
It was too much.
- Alyssa Edwards.
- You could have been
a little funnier.
And I thought you were trying
too hard.
- Going into the mic
and holding on, like,
for dear life,
I thought that was nerves.
But you're so gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- It wasn't your best moment
tonight.
- Okay.
- It was boring.
It was humiliating
and uncomfortable to watch.
- Coco Montrese.
- Not a roast, but a toast.
Mazel tov.
It was really spectacular.
- Thank you.
- Well done.
- Wanda Sykes, move over.
[all laugh]
It was hilarious.
- Tonight on the runway,
I like your look.
I'm thinking the earrings
and your roots showing,
it added to the humor.
- Roxxxy Andrews.
- Keep your pace up.
You needed to be quicker.
- It wasn't as smooth.
You could have strung it
together better
so that it was
much more fluid.
- Tonight your dress
is high-end,
and you really needed
some bigger hair to go with it.
- Well, ladies,
I think we've heard enough.
While you enjoy
an Absolut cocktail
in the Interior Illusions
Lounge,
the judges and I
will deliberate.
Just between us roasted
chickens, what do you think?
Let's start with Alaska.
- Her look
is so predictable now.
- So you want to see
a different silhouette.
- Just once at least.
- Being first means you have
a little more expectation
to step out of the box.
But a lot of the things,
it's like, I sort of expected
them.
- I just loved her.
She just, like, the kind of
knock-kneed,
and standing back there
and quirky and...
[exaggerated laugh]
It was refreshing to me.
- Moving on to Roxxxy Andrews.
- Roxxxy sees herself
as not funny,
and I think she was too much
in her head,
trying to
think how she can deliver it.
- And she seemed to be
out of character.
- I'd agree.
Roxxxy was stumbling from one
transition to the next.
It wasn't her night.
- She was really, really,
really nervous.
And I think it was just
a meltdown,
and it's hard to watch that.
- All right.
- Ivy Winters.
- She read her cards
the whole time.
She didn't connect once.
I didn't see her eyes.
I got no emotion from her.
And that's been my problem
with Ivy.
She's like a cardboard cutout.
- I didn't have a problem with
Ivy in that way, Michelle.
She wasn't as rough as some of
the other girls
with segueing from one joke
to the next,
and there was some really funny
moments.
- Coco Montrese.
- Great concept,
great delivery.
Very good tonight for Coco.
Especially coming from where
she was last week.
- Coco came out here tonight
with a new attitude.
She had consistent joke
after joke.
- I almost fell off the chair.
The whole time she was up there,
she stayed in that character.
I d*ed.
- Jinkx Monsoon.
- Hallelu.
She looked great.
I was so very proud of her.
- I would have loved her
to have played more
with the other queens.
Reading them a little more.
Yes.
- I have two words:
master comedienne.
- All right, next up, Detox.
- We all know she's funny.
She could have done more and got
rid of some of the f-bombs.
- You know, the f-b*mb
usually means
that someone's very nervous.
- You can laugh, but it's like,
oh, and another f-b*mb,
oh, and another f-b*mb.
And it's no longer funny
or bombastic.
- I expected more from her.
- Alyssa Edwards.
- The dress was a disaster
tonight.
I got prom feeling from it.
And then the roast...
wah-wah.
Intimidation.
- Yeah, that was it.
- Was she intimidated
by the other girls?
- Absolutely.
- Yeah.
- So many funny girls
up there tonight.
- They were...they were funny,
and I think she just...
she melted.
But I think she's beautiful.
- [laughs]
- She looks like
a fairy prince.
[all laugh]
- Silence.
I've made my decision.
Bring back...
my girls.
[laughs]
- [laughs]
Welcome back, ladies.
I've made some decisions.
Alaska, tonight you proved
you can stand on your own.
You're safe.
- Thank you.
[blows kiss]
- Jinkx Monsoon,
your look tonight was no joke.
Keep it up.
You're safe.
- Thank you.
- Coco Montrese.
As my hood rat cousin,
you tore me to shreds.
You are the winner
of this week's challenge.
Condragulations.
[applause]
You've won a custom gown
from SequinQueen.
- Coco Montrese is back.
Yes, God, I'm back, baby.
- Detox...
you're safe.
Alyssa Edwards,
tonight your punch lines
flatlined.
I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.
Ivy Winters, you struggled
to connect with the audience.
Roxxxy Andrews, tonight was not
your shining moment.
Ivy Winters...
you're safe.
Roxxxy Andrews, I'm sorry,
my dear,
but you are up for elimination.
- All of this stress
has just hit me.
This is honestly the first time
in this competition
that I felt
"You're not good enough."
- Two queens stand before me.
Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me
and save yourself
from elimination.
The time has come for you
to lip sync for your life.
- Get ready for the lip sync
of your life.
- Good luck.
And don't f*ck it up.
- ♪ Hop up out the bed ♪
♪ Turn my swag on ♪
♪ Pay no attention ♪
♪ To them haters ♪
♪ Because we whip 'em off ♪
♪ And we ain't doing
nothing wrong ♪
♪ So don't tell me nothing ♪
♪ I'm just trying to have fun ♪
- [laughs]
- ♪ So keep the party jumping ♪
so what's up ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ And now they don't know
what to do ♪
♪ We turn our back
and whip our hair ♪
♪ and just shake 'em off ♪
- There's no holding back.
There's no tip-toeing around.
I have to bring everything.
- ♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
- Oh!
- I got a seizure
watching that.
- ♪ All my ladies
if you feel me ♪
♪ Come on, do it, do it ♪
♪ Whip your hair,
your hair ♪
♪ Your hair ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair ♪
- Alyssa is bringing it.
- [laughs]
- ♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
- It's gonna be
a photo finish tonight.
- ♪ I whip my hair
back and forth ♪
♪ I whip my... ♪
[cheers and applause]
- Lost her shoe.
- All right, ladies.
- [crying]
Sorry.
- Are you okay?
- So many emotions.
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
Go ahead.
- No, tell me about it.
- It just hit me and...
like not feeling wanted
and not being good enough.
I just feel like my mom
never wanted me and...
my mother left my sister
and myself at a bus stop
when I was three.
And I remember it like it was
yesterday.
And, like, I come off
as this strong character.
I try to stay so strong,
but I'm so weak,
and I'm so tired.
[sobbing]
It just hurts that I was left.
Nobody cared.
- We love you.
And you are so welcome here.
You know, we as gay people,
we get to choose our family.
You know, we get to choose
the people that we're around.
You know what I'm saying?
I am your family.
We are a family here.
I love you.
- I love you.
- All right.
I've made my decision.
What you two did on this runway
is the passion
I am looking for.
Shantay, you both stay.
- [cries]
- [cries]
- Thank you so much.
- These are no longer just drag
queens I am competing with.
I'm growing attached
to these people.
We are like the seven sisters
right now.
- My seven sister queens.
If you can't love yourself,
how in the hell are you gonna
love somebody else?
Can I get a amen in here?
all: Amen!
05x07 - RuPaul Roast
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.