07x06 - Ms. Mary Quite Contrary

[bunniefuu]

♪ There'll be a new day ♪

♪ Let's fly away ♪

♪ And see the world as one ♪

-♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
-[Karamo] ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

[Jonathan]
We're gonna harmonize as a car. Ready?

-♪ La ♪
-♪ La ♪

-♪ La ♪
-♪ La ♪

-[Jonathan] ♪ Ah ♪
-♪ Ah ♪

-That was really good vibrato, Karamo.
-Thanks.

Know what they say
about people who have good vibrato?

-What?
-♪ Oh ♪

Bobby, you look so pretty today,
even when you make that face.

Your skin looks great.

-[laughing]
-You really do. You look great.

[upbeat music plays]

♪ Better ♪

♪ Oh, things just keep getting better ♪

[Jonathan] Oh yeah.

So our hero this week
is Mary Henderson-Uloho.

She is 65 years old,

and she owns Sister Hearts thrift store
in Arabi.

-I love a thrift store!
-Yeah.

[woman] Can't nobody tell me nothing.

Nothing!

'Cause I did that. I did that.

[Jonathan] "Sister Hearts is also
a work program Ms. Mary created

to employ the formerly incarcerated."

Prison or not, I did that.

This is nice.

"While on vacation in New Orleans
more than 20 years ago,

Mary was arrested

and never returned
to her home in Dayton, Ohio."

Went to prison for 12 and a half years,

and I had to do
12 and a half years on parole

for obstruction of justice.

I met a guy.

We were just having fun
when the police stopped us.

They wanted me to lie on this man.

I didn't talk. I refused.

"Mary was convicted and sentenced
here in New Orleans,

where she spent
the greatest portion of her adult life,

leaving her seven children behind."

I had to just cut that piece of my brain

and just put it in a box and seal it

in order for me to stay focused
on surviving inside prison.

"Over the course of her sentence,
Mary not only lost her sense of self,

but she missed out
on seeing her seven children grow up,

which really took a toll on Mary's mind."

I bet.

Prison dehumanized me,
desensitized me, and demoralized me.

Something happens to your brain in prison

where you can't do your time inside
if your mind is outside.

Why is it so… hard for me

to just be a mother to my children

when they're my world
and I love them all so much?

"Still, Mary's children have continued
to adore her and even see her as a hero."

"Mary, however, struggles
to see value in herself as a person

and especially as a mom."

No!

-Uh-oh.
-I got it.

Thank you.

"Mary is nominated
by her companion, Anthony,

who met Mary through Sister Hearts."

She spends a lot of time
helping people sort through prison trauma,

but nobody, you know,
helps her with her struggles.

She just doesn't stop working.

But she spends all of her time

to help improve the quality of life
for other people.

And it gives her a way

to avoid helping improve
the quality of her own life.

Mary does not know who she is
outside of running her program.

She has neglected herself a lot.

She has grown children that she avoids,

and I think that she needs to be there
before it wastes more time.

"Mary is now officially a free woman,

but she has found herself stuck in a place
where her body is free,

but her heart and mind
still feel incarcerated."

That is heartbreaking.

I still represent prison.

And I don't wanna
represent prison anymore.

I'm no longer on parole.

I am completely free.

I want to change.

I just don't know how.

"Our mission this week is
to help this Sister Heart free her soul!"

-Yes!
-[laughs]

Yes, Mary!

[energetic music plays]

-[Tan] My gosh. It's cute!
-[Bobby] Yeah.

[Tan] It's pink!

Tan, you brought your credit card, right?

-Yeah. Always.
-Okay.

-Hello?
-Oh, I love it here.

-Mary!
-[Tan] Hi, Mary.

-Look at you! Look at y'all!
-[all laugh]

[Karamo] How are you doing,
beautiful lady?

Mary reminded me of one of my aunties.
You just wanna get a hug from her.

Those are fabulous.
Oh, look at these! Oh my God!

-You can try them on later. I know.
-Okay.

You just feel the love.

-This is Anthony.
-[Tan] Hello.

-[Tan] Nice to meet you.
-[Bobby] Ah, your nominator.

Tell us what this business here
does for the community.

When people come home from prison
and they can't find jobs,

this, they know they got a job

because this is created
specifically for them.

Anthony was homeless,
just like I had been.

He has done a total of 18 years.

He was spiraling.

In a year,
he completely runs this operation.

He supports me.

Everything about my life
is completely different.

I have hope. I have confidence.

[Mary] I do something
that's totally revolutionary.

It's called decarceration.

-Can you show us?
-[Jonathan] Please.

-Let's see.
-Okay, if I put this up here…

In prison,
I know that shoe doesn't belong there,

but if I move that shoe,
I could go to solitary confinement.

Now I don't know anything different.

When they come to Sister Hearts,
I say, "Okay, Jonathan, declutter it."

So Jonathan's gonna do this.

He says, "I don't want that there.
I want this here."

That's how simple decarceration is.

Giving somebody permission
to think for themselves again.

Everything that you see
that's placed in here

has been done by a person that was broken,

that is going
through organizational therapy.

[Jonathan]
Look at how good it looks in here!

[Karamo] Oh my gosh.

I love a thrift store.

Even the ridiculous things.

Somebody made a choice
to buy that one day.

-[Karamo] Do you like?
-Look at this.

There are fanny packs.

There are hats. There are scarves.

There are shoes.
There are little trinkets.

I'm at the thrift store.

-I'm thrifting.
-So chic.

There is something for everybody here.

You are helping people around here,
so now we're gonna help you a little bit.

-[Bobby] Let's get to your house.
-[Jonathan] We wanna see where you live.

We're gonna take very good care of you.

I'm gonna have to come back
for this fanny pack.

-Bye, everyone!
-All right. Bye-bye, guys.

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Do it, do it ♪

♪ Do it, do it ♪

[Tan]
We're excited to see your house, Mary.

Your house is done.

[laughing]

-[Mary] So this is home.
-[Antoni] Whoo!

This is a very big kitchen.

-Yes.
-So many pots. Very exciting.

This is the bedroom.

-[Bobby] I like the nice tall bed.
-This bed vibrates.

[all] Ooh!

[Jonathan]
Come to the Mary Love Motel, honey.

[Tan] Lay down, Mary.
Let's see you vibrate.

[Mary] No, I don't wanna.

Put it on high. Tanny's coming in.

Oh, that's nice.

-I like this, Mary.
-Yes.

[Tan] You guys go look around the house.

-I'm gonna stay here.
-Catch me, Tanny! I'm coming.

[Mary] Let me show you the bathroom.

-Now--
-It's a good size.

-It is a good size.
-[Bobby] But there--

-[Mary] But--
-[Bobby] Got a lot of stuff in here too.

Everything in the house
came from the thrift store.

-Yeah.
-Everything.

The home is dark.
All the curtains are pulled.

She has all the clutter.

[Tan] Mary, you have stuff.

You got a lot of stuff.

So, when I got out of prison,
you know, I just wanted to have stuff

because I wasn't allowed to have stuff.

Maybe we work out

how we can help you choose the things
you actually care about.

The less romantic term for that
is editing.

Okay.

[Bobby] If you were to take me
to one little spot in your house,

what would be your favorite thing?

This is my favorite place
in the whole house right here.

As crazy as it may sound to some people,

I just come sometimes
and I like to just sit on the sofa

and just look out the window,
see my plants,

and I feel in touch with nature,

like I'm in touch with my creator,
you know?

'Cause the same creator that created me
created these plants,

and that just makes me feel human.

-That is a beautiful thing. Yes.
-Right?

-Karamo is really good with plants.
-[Mary] Really?

No, I'm not.

[Bobby laughs]

Go. Go. Go.

Whoa!

I don't even know who she is.

No. [chuckles]

I wanna know a little bit more
about your life before you went to prison.

Before prison?

I have a degree
in property management and real estate.

I would buy houses
from sheriff's sales, tax sales,

and then I would sell them
to single moms, senior citizens.

I'm also the mother of seven children.
Six sons and one baby girl.

-[Karamo] Tell me about your kids.
-[Mary] I got pregnant at 16.

My mother said, "You're pregnant.
You're gonna get married."

She just gave me to him,
actually forced me to go with him.

I didn't wanna do it at all.

My children, I grew up with them.
That's my firstborn.

That one was my absolute best.

I see that he passed away.

Were you out of prison
when he passed away?

-No.
-Mm.

He was k*lled on a motor accident.

I wasn't able to go to his funeral.

And I never got a chance to say goodbye.

I'm so sorry.

That was… that was my breaking point.

[voice breaking]
He was the first person on the planet

that I felt like loved me for real.

What's your relationship like 
with your other children?

-They're scattered. They're everywhere.
-Got it.

You know, I don't know
how they even feel towards me.

I almost feel guilty.

You know, it's like,

do you imagine being in a place
for 12 and a half, almost 13 years

and you're not allowed
to touch one human being?

-No.
-So I get out.

And now I got this big 6'5'' son
that wants to hug.

It's too much.

Well, you spent 12 years disconnected.

Some of them, they don't even know
what I've accomplished.

-This is hurting you.
-It is.

-[Karamo] Yeah.
-It is.

When's the last time
you cooked for somebody?

Before COVID.

'Cause when I looked in your freezer,

you have a lot of different proteins
in large amounts.

I got seven kids,
so I'm used to cooking a lot of food.

-How often do you cook for them?
-I used to. I still have that mentality.

Everything was in a gray pot.

I would put the meat,
the potatoes, the rice, the vegetables.

[Antoni] One-pot deal.

-That's it. But I don't do it that often.
-Okay.

I do like cooking.

I do, but when I come in here
after 12, 14 hours a day,

I'll just eat
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

go to my room, and get on the computer.

Not that it's bad to have
a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

but what if you want a home-cooked meal,
but you don't have the time for it?

-Have you ever heard of meal prep?
-No.

So it's the idea of just making
a large amount of something,

and then you can store it,
label it, put it in the freezer.

-So you can freeze stuff in them things?
-A hundred percent.

Your home is now in New Orleans.
Have you tried New Orleans cuisine?

I don't even eat gumbo.

I don't venture out and try new things.

[Tan] I would totally wear that.
That is beautiful.

-Look at how pretty that is.
-She has some good stuff up here.

-See this?
-[Jonathan] Love your wrap.

-I made this.
-You did?

-I made it.
-You sewed that?

Let me show you how gorgeous…

-It matches.
-With my outfit too!

Yes.

Look-a there.

-[gasps] Mary!
-Ain't that gorgeous? [laughs]

It's gorgeous, isn't it?

[Tan] Wow.

Old school.

I love my elliptical.

Faster.

It's zebra, but for the bathroom.

[upbeat synth music plays]

How long have you been growing your locs?

I'd say about 12 years.

Twelve years of length.
Let's see how long they are

'cause we haven't gotten to see so far.

You got a full-ass head of hair.

-[Mary] Yeah.
-[Jonathan] That is down to your knees.

[Mary] Yeah. Yeah.

You could take those locs
and throw 'em into the river

and let someone climb up 'em, honey.

These are some long locs.

But that's what you were rocking
the whole time when you were in.

It's what you've been rocking
since you've been out.

These locs are serving time in memoriam.

Is there a dream that you've ever wanted
to play with your hair

that we never had a chance?

Jonathan, these locs
was for security purposes.

These locs, they helped to keep me safe.

In prison, they grab your hair,

and they use your hair
to control your body.

So what I did
was I put little plaits in my hair

so I didn't have long hair,
and my hair wasn't exposed.

-Right.
-And dreadlocks just grew and grew.

-It was like a literal protective style.
-It was a literal protective style.

-Right.
-It was not a style.

I don't know anything
to do with these at all.

-And now--
-So maybe you want a little change?

Maybe a little change.

[upbeat music plays]

This is actually a computer mouse.

I haven't seen one of these
in a long time.

-What is this, Antoni?
-[Antoni] It's a chopped--

-Oh, that's a Fleshlight.
-It's… [laughs]

I don't know what any of that means.

What makes you feel good in clothes?

-[Mary] I have a dress in here.
-[Tan] Show me.

This dress right here,

I wore this kind of stuff
before I went to prison.

-Okay.
-It made me feel feminine.

-Okay.
-It made me feel ladylike.

I'm authoritative.
I'm not a very joking person.

Not a jokey person?
You feel like a bag of fun.

-No.
-[Tan laughs] No?

Have you ever worn it?
You've got your tag on still.

I think I need to lose
maybe a pound or two.

I had a little snoop. Who is she?

-She's not Mary. She can't be Mary.
-[Mary] No.

This closet is all over the place.

There are a thousand personalities
in this closet.

One, maybe two of them, are Mary.

The rest of them
are some other random lady.

I would struggle every morning, thinking,
"There's so much going on here."

"How do I figure out
who I wanna be today?"

Even if you lived another hundred years,
you couldn't wear all this stuff.

I am very overwhelmed by the stuff.

So wearing a uniform
just makes my life more simpler.

So then, my question is,
what is this all for?

I wanna feel beautiful again.

When was the last time, Mary,
that you felt beautiful?

When… I married at 16.

I remember one time
when he took me to a party,

and my mother made
this beautiful long, flowing dress.

-It fit in the waist, and it flared out.
-What color was it?

It was a red color.

-Okay.
-Red's my favorite color.

I felt like
the most beautiful woman on the planet.

I wanna try and get you back
to feeling that way about yourself.

The thing that we need to work on,
it's editing.

Making sure you're pulling
the things that aren't gonna work for you

and keeping the things that do.
We're gonna figure this out.

[Bobby] Was this breakfast? Or was this…

I feel this was lunch a few days ago
'cause those pickles look pretty dry.

-It was.
-Okay.

In prison, if they decide not to feed me,

I have to have food that I've stashed.

So it's difficult for me
to just throw that away.

Mary, I've got a question
that is truly curiosity

and no judgment, obviously.

What makes you wanna stay here
in New Orleans?

[voice breaks]

Allah wouldn't have put me
on this mountain

if he didn't want me
to show people that it can move,

that things could change.

And so that's why I stayed,
because this is where I was planted.

I was in prison,
where I saw the most suffering.

I left a promise.
I said, "If you just get to me,

when you get out,
you'll have a place to stay."

"I'll help you get clothes and food.
Just get to me."

[weeps]

I feel so deeply
the sadness that she has in her heart.

All she's trying to do is to help others
and make the most of it now.

But it's very clear
from what she's telling us

she's not had an opportunity
to really find a way forward.

That's what we're gonna help with.

You've given so much.
This week is about us giving to you.

[Jonathan] To you.

You teach everyone how to kind of,
like, find their best selves

and find their new life.

And now we wanna help you
find your best self

and help you come into your new life

'cause it's your turn, Mary.

How does that sound?
That's different than your everyday.

-It's wonderful.
-[Karamo laughs]

-Let's get this week started, then.
-We're starting in three, two…

No, I'm kidding. We're doing it now.

[funky music plays]

[boat horn blares]

[Karamo] I love that Mary is opening up.
She wants to reconnect with her family.

But I gotta get a little bit more clarity
about really what happened in Mary's past

so we can figure out
how to give her the better future.

Her locs came from a place of protection,
not from a place of expression,

so what I'm here to do
is give her the access,

give her the resources that she needs

to be able to present the vibe
that she wants to be able to present.

Mary's ready for a what? New chapter.

[Bobby]
I wanna breathe life into this space.

Right now, it feels like
a dark, dank cell,

and I want it to feel
completely the opposite of that.

[Antoni] That same intention
that she's teaching her employees

to engage in in her store,

I want Mary to do that
with herself for herself.

And I want her to start small.

I want to reinvigorate that excitement
of being in the kitchen.

She has been stuck
in this Sister Hearts uniform.

Before that, she was in a prison uniform.

I want to remind her
that she's still a person,

she's still a woman, she's still a human,

and that she gets to feel beautiful.

-[energetic music plays]
-♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

[Tan] You're in your favorite color, red,
which makes me so happy.

Yeah. Thank you.

It's a joyful color.

This is gonna be the fun part right here.

This is gonna be the fun part.

-How are you feeling about shopping?
-I am feeling so excited.

[Tan] You said you wanted color.

-[Mary] Yes.
-We got you a place that has color.

For over ten years,
she didn't get to play with color,

and West London Boutique is full of color.

It's full of play.

So I wanna show her what can be done.

You're a bit of a hoarder.

I'm almost positive you know this.
It can't come as a surprise.

But mostly in your closet.

I wanna really show you
that you can pare back

and have just a few things,

and those few things
can make you look beautiful,

as opposed to having a thousand things
and not knowing how to build a look.

You had said
that you like a fit and flare,

which is fitted at the waist and out.

Now, I wanna show you versions of that.
We're not gonna go too boop-boop.

-That feels a little princess.
-Yes.

-And you're a lady.
-Yes.

And I also want you
to be in light and flowy.

It is hot here,
and I'm sure you're used to the heat.

-No.
-[Tan] You wanna be comfortable.

No. Who's used to this heat?
It's horribly hot. So…

Oh. Oh!

-[Tan] Isn't that pretty?
-That's nice.

-[Tan] Like…
-This is royal.

The reason why I wanted things that flow
is when you walk, you see movement.

You seem almost ethereal.

But we're gonna team it with dresses.
We're gonna layer things up.

-[Mary] My goodness!
-You're gonna be blown away.

-Oh wow. You want me to go put it on?
-[Tan] Yes, I do.

Give me a shout if you need anything.
We're gonna give this a go.

[Mary] Okay. Okay.

[Tan] Mary?

-Are you ready?
-[Mary] Yes.

[Tan] Ah!

Oh my goodness.

This is so regal.

This is so me.

-Really?
-This is so me, yes.

[Tan] It's missing one thing.
I got you new glasses.

I wanted you to have
something a little chicer.

Oh, that's better.

-Oh my goodness.
-[Tan] Oh my gosh. That's better, Mary.

We've cinched your waist with a belt,

so you really are highlighting
all the most beautiful parts of yourself.

I feel sexy.

-[Tan] Yeah!
-I do.

You look sexy, Mary!

It's clear that she hasn't seen herself
look like this in a long time.

Does this feel more like the you
that you wanna be going forward?

Yes.

-Great.
-Yes.

The thing I want to keep
is Mary's essence,

and this outfit is still very much
an elevated, sophisticated Mary.

Ah! Mary!

I know it's a high heel.

[Mary]
I would have never thought of red shoes.

Jeans and T-shirt are fine for work,
but you are this person, not that person.

I feel powerful in this.

We've hugged your body
in all the right places.

-We're not doing hoochie.
-No.

[Tan] We are doing so refined.

-Sophisticated.
-Yes.

I love that you're thrifty.
I don't want you to stop that.

However, every now and then,

going to a boutique like this
to really feel special is important.

I am going to now make it my business.

Good.

[jaunty music plays]

[Antoni] After you.

-[Mary] This is a restaurant.
-[Antoni] Yeah.

They really pride themselves
on Creole cuisine.

Cajun cuisine is country food.

Creole cuisine is city food.

And city folk typically have access
to a lot of seafood.

[Mary] Cajun, country.

-Cajun, country. Creole?
-City.

-[Antoni] City.
-[Mary] Got it.

And you've decided
to make Louisiana your home.

Yes.

Since you are a one-pot queen,

I wanted to bring all that together
and make something called shrimp étouffée.

-I'm gonna make étouffée?
-You're gonna make étouffée.

-Let's make some étouffée.
-We're gonna make it together.

-Have you ever had it?
-No.

-Never had it?
-No.

So if you have one day
where you can make a large batch of this,

you can put it into containers
that are nicely sealed,

put them in the freezer.

When you go to work, you come back,
you have a wonderful home-cooked meal.

Down here,
everybody put they stuff on rice.

-Do you put rice on this?
-Don't worry. We're gonna have rice.

-You are jumping ahead.
-Okay.

-You ready to get started?
-I am so ready.

[Antoni] We're basically gonna go ahead
and prepare our base.

So we have four parts onion,
one part bell pepper, one part celery.

Beautiful.

Perfect, and just so you know,
I'm starting on chopping the garlic up.

Really give it a nice press.

And then, with my curled fingers…

Thanks, Mary.

You have a maternal instinct.

What was your favorite thing
that you made for your kids?

-Chili.
-What do you put in your chili?

Everything hot. In Ohio, it's very cold.

The pepper helped to preserve my children
so they ain't getting colds and all that.

We're using some similar elements here.
There's paprika, for, like, that smoke.

Some oregano, some thyme,

garlic powder, onion powder,
white and black pepper.

We make this?

This, you can buy it ready-made,
or you can just make it on your own.

-I like to make it.
-It's a basic Creole spice blend.

Add a little bit of butter to the center.
Put the entire spice mix in there.

Perfect.

-[Mary] I can smell it.
-Yeah.

I'm gonna put in the garlic now.

And then I'm gonna
put in the hot sauce as well.

A little bit of white wine.

-[Mary] The aroma!
-[Antoni] Yes.

Now our tomatoes.

[Mary] Oh, that smells so good.

Okay.

So then I'm gonna show you
how to make the slurry.

We wanna add it as a thickening agent.
I have some shrimp stock here.

Into this little pitcher.
And I'm gonna go ahead and put my flour.

This is how my Polish mama made it
when I was growing up.

So now we're gonna go ahead
and pour that in.

Smells beautiful.

-[Mary] It is.
-And looks super pretty.

And this doesn't take
a long time to cook either.

[Antoni] Not really.

Our shrimp stock,
it's gonna thicken up as it reduces,

and then I have
some parsley leaves as well.

You said you like spice.

-Did you want to add cayenne?
-[Mary] Yes.

Great. You decide. You're the boss.

Wow.

What?!

-[chuckles] That's good?
-I'm a Polish boy.

-That's a lot of heat for me!
-[Mary chuckles]

This is so wonderful.

-It's therapy.
-[Antoni] A hundred percent.

This étouffée is not gonna take away

from the horrible things
that you experienced,

but it's a tool, right?

Whenever you're feeling overwhelmed,
to just be like, "All right, Mary,

we'll center ourselves in the kitchen
and make something for ourselves."

To me, this is a form of decarceration.

It is reversing a mindset
that I had forgotten I even had.

I'm looking in this pot, I'm like…

-It's just lifting something inside of me.
-[Antoni] Yeah!

You do so much for other people,

but understand the importance of being
able to do this for yourself as well.

You see, I wouldn't have got that
'cause that's about me.

-It's not a*t*matic for you.
-It is not a*t*matic. Absolutely.

There's a difference
with opening up a packet of crackers

and just eating them so that
you get enough calories for the day

versus nourishing yourself
and making something.

You're telling yourself you're worthy
of the time and the effort that it took

with something wonderful
you get to feed yourself with.

'Cause I think that's an important part
of healing as well,

is just showing up for yourself.

Who's been showing me
how to do that before you came?

-I don't know.
-Nobody!

Now I know how to do it for myself,

and I'm gonna be the best
shrimp-étouffée maker in New Orleans.

That's right.

[chuckles]

[Antoni]
So I've peeled some beautiful shrimp.

These are ready to go into the pot.

Étouffée comes from the French word
"to smother" or "suffocate."

Let's smother those shrimp.

Our heat is nice and low.

When they get nice and pink,
they're ready.

Look at this shrimp étouffée.

-I cooked up some medium-grain rice.
-Oh wow.

Fluffed it up with a bit of butter.
Just like to put it around the rice.

So we have
our beautiful little rice island

and then everything around. There you go.

[Mary] I am really feeling like
a gourmet chef here.

-'Cause you are.
-[Mary] Look at that.

[Antoni] Beau-ti-ful.

-Yes.
-[Antoni] It's really pretty.

-May I put some lemon on yours?
-Yes.

[Antoni] It kind of wakes everything up
in a nice, fresh way.

And then help yourself to some garnishes.

-Ready to try?
-[Mary] Yes.

Oh, this is so good.

-Whoo! There's heat!
-Yes.

-This is delicious.
-[Antoni] Yeah.

[Mary] You ain't playin'.

I'm gonna make this
faster than quick got ready.

-You know how fast quick is, right?
-[Antoni] Quick. Yeah.

-Quick.
-Got it. [laughs]

I'll tell you how fast I'm gonna make it.
Faster than quick got ready.

I love that.

Creole cuisine.

♪ Check, I tiptoe on the rhythm 
Tell 'em ♪

♪ I'm moving mountains
It echoes loud when I preach to them ♪

♪ Yeah, I see the purpose ♪

♪ Tell 'em divine lights align
Right, you know when it's your time ♪

♪ Never tell 'em ♪

[Karamo] I'm showing Mary this photo album

because it's a good reminder
of who she was before she went to prison.

But if I'm really gonna be able
to help her,

I gotta figure out who that is.

I'm glad we're getting
to spend our time together.

I enjoyed getting to know you
for that little bit of time.

Me too.

You talk about your experience in prison,

you talk about how you help people after,
which is all important,

but there were
some things that stood out to me.

You said you think
you lost your maternal instinct.

That makes sense, but I wanted
to learn more about Mary before prison.

You were married at 16.

I really wanna get to know
more about that.

When I got pregnant at 16,

I felt all of the shame and the guilt

and all the other things
that any other 16-year-old would feel.

I was mad at the baby daddy,

and I didn't really love him.

I learned to respect him
because he was older.

But I didn't even know him
or know what love and all…

I was just… He was the first person
that I'd ever really been with.

He was from a very, very wealthy family.

You know, in all actuality,
when I step back,

I feel as if
I was actually used as chattel.

My family got gifts and money.

Which leads me to say,
"Who was protecting you?"

No one, really.

I'm looking at this timeline now,

and I understand
where your shame journey starts.

This is a little girl who…

didn't get the love she deserved.

[Mary] I didn't grow up
in a household of love and nurturing.

I didn't know how to do any of that.

I think it's…
it's important to establish that,

because when we talk
about journeys to being parents,

we have to always remember
who are we as human beings?

I'm not trying to take away
your prison experience,

but what I need you to know
is that the trauma started before,

that there's some things
that made you make choices before.

Yeah.

[Karamo] When I was going through
your house, I saw this.

It looks like it was addressed to you
while you were in prison.

This is the last letter
that I received from my son.

[Karamo] Got it.

Can you read this letter?

He said, "Hello. It's me."

This is… "It's me."

He said, "Your number-one child."

"I got the Koran you sent me."

"When I was younger,

people would actually ask me
what do I believe in, what religion."

"I would say, 'My mother.'"

"Sometimes I look back

and wonder what things had to be like
for you raising us."

"It could not have been easy. Was it?"

"In one of your letters,
you said, 'I didn't do nothing else.'"

"'I taught you boys how to fight.'"

"What about love?"

"Like, that is the only thing
I never really got to understand,

love and emotions."

"Mom, you did the best you could."

"Your best has always been good for me."

Five days before his death.

[Karamo] He acknowledged

that you taught him
how to fight and how to survive,

because that's what you had to do.

But he said he doesn't know how to love.

Do you think
you knew how to love your kids?

No.

You didn't receive love,

and then someone
put seven children in your lap

and said, "Love them."

How are you supposed to teach something
when you don't know how to do it?

[voice breaking] I think I don't know how
to love them even less now than before,

and that might be some of the reason
that I didn't wanna go back.

Because I never really knew
how to be a mother.

This is the first time
I've heard you be honest

about avoiding that relationship.

And the more you avoid something
that you know you need to look at

is the more that shame
grows and grows in our minds

because the shame is what's keeping you
from being with your kids.

It's what's keeping you from saying,
"Let me just be there."

What are you thinking right now?

I'm thinking I would love
to call 'em back.

Your child.

He reaches out to me all the time.

He's looking for love from me.

There you go.

You know… And I don't like excuses,
and I'm not trying to make an excuse.

-It's just that I didn't know any better.
-Boom. That's not an excuse.

I have to explain to them
and tell them how sorry I am.

And what that does,
when you can acknowledge,

give yourself forgiveness,
and then ask for forgiveness,

it takes away the shame.

Because you deserve it.

-Yeah.
-But more so, your children deserve it.

-And my grandchildren.
-[Karamo] And your grandbabies.

It means every morning saying,

"I'mma get up. I acknowledge
I didn't know what I was doing,

but I know what I'm doing today,
so let me call and say, 'I love you.'"

"Let me try to do for you everything
little Mary didn't have done for her."

But you can break those cycles.

You know I will. [laughs]

-[Karamo] I do.
-I will.

[Karamo]
If I know anything about your personality…

-[Mary] Karamo, thank you so much.
-[Karamo] Mm.

♪ Ooh! ♪

-[Mary] Yes.
-[Bobby] I listen. I listen.

[Mary] Ooh!

[Bobby] I want to teach Mary
how to be more intentional

about the things
we surround ourselves with.

Plants are such an important part
of someone's home

'cause not only do they literally
breathe life into your space,

it's something that you can nurture.

That's beautiful.

♪ I had a feeling coming over me
Like oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I feel something ♪

♪ Ahhhh ♪

♪ For you ♪

-[Jonathan] Look at this gorgeous space.
-This is so nice!

The green, it's so calming.

Mary is so beautiful externally.

She's so beautiful internally.

But she doesn't feel beautiful.

-How are you? You own this place?
-This is Mary. We love her.

She is welcoming us
into her space and her salon.

-Nice to meet you.
-I've been waiting.

[Jonathan] We have been waiting.
We've all been waiting, queen.

Yes.

I just wanna be a cheerleader for Mary.

You've been having
these gorgeous locs for…

Twelve years. A long… Oh yes.

You'd said the other day that you're ready
for, like, a new Mary, a new vibe.

-Is it true?
-It is true.

This represents an old me,

a strong me,

but now she is light and airy,

and she can just be.

And you have just been,
like, literally deprived

of getting to play with your hair.

Yes.

Give me your hands.

I'm so proud of you.

Everything that you've been through,

any aspects of it
that no longer serve you,

I want you to let those things go.

[exhales]

We are exhaling those things out today

because you are walking out of here
a different woman than what you walked in.

Yes. I receive that.

Supermodel documentary hour, commence! Ah!

-[Mary laughs]
-[man] Fun.

-[Jonathan] We're doing it, queen.
-My name's Quentin.

[Jonathan]
Quentin is the most talented hairstylist.

-I'm glad to be a part of this journey.
-[Mary] Thank you.

I don't have to hide
behind my locs anymore.

-You ready, Mary?
-I'm ready.

-It's happening.
-[Mary] I'm free now.

-I am free.
-[Jonathan] Wow.

-I literally feel love in this hair.
-Yes.

My hand is, like, buzzing when I hold it.

We are going
on a whole new journey, for real.

We're just gonna start getting done
with our bad selves.

[Quentin] Let's detangle.

[Jonathan] Should we come in,
detangle crew?

Yes, we are coming in.

Oh f*ck.

[laughing]

-[Quentin] That comb was mad!
-[Jonathan] Want Advil?

[Mary] No, not yet.

♪ I got to get up ♪

[Jonathan] Someone get
this woman an Advil.

Oh my God, my hands.

I just tried to move them,
and they were like…

[laughing]

♪ And I'm gonna say what I want ♪

♪ And… ♪

[Mary] I'm fascinated with the color.

[Jonathan] I think
we should keep your natural.

It's taken me 65 years to get this gray.

[Jonathan] I think we should treasure it.

-That's how I feel.
-[Jonathan] Let's treasure it.

-Yeah.
-[Jonathan] I love that for us.

♪ Up and go ♪

♪ I got to get up and go ♪

♪ Up, up, and go
I got to get up ♪

[Jonathan] Damn, Mare-bear.

-[woman] That's it!
-[Quentin] That's the last one.

-[Jonathan] Good job, team.
-[applause]

-Record-breaking time!
-[woman] Oh my God!

Damn!

Do you know, Mary? That's amazing.

Group hug. We did it. Come here.
Come here. Come here.

-Get in here!
-My hair's wet.

We did it. It's okay. We love.

Yay! We did it.

Oh yes.

-It is thick.
-[Mary laughs]

-It is gorgeous!
-[Mary laughs]

Mary, it really is.

I don't know what you take,
but I want some.

[both laugh]

-[Jonathan] Let's start twisting.
-[Quentin] Let's start twisting it out.

[Jonathan] You're glowing.

-I see you.
-[Mary] Yeah.

[Quentin] I see you.

-[Jonathan] Are you ready to see?
-[Mary] I'm so ready.

Oh my goodness.

Look at there.

-Isn't she beautiful?
-Yes, she is.

[Jonathan] Isn't she pretty?

She's cute.

She's beautiful. She's gorgeous.

This is just…

That shine.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

-Isn't that gorgeous?
-Don't you love?

Yes.

That is so cute.

[Jonathan] How does it feel?

[Mary] It feels wonderful.

-This says wisdom.
-[Jonathan] And you've earned this.

-I've earned this.
-[Jonathan] You have.

-And you look beautiful.
-Thank you.

♪ Time to get a grip
And make a change ♪

♪ Yes, I'll do it for you 
Rearrange ♪

♪ 'Cause there's just so much
A girl can hold onto ♪

-[horn honks]
-[Antoni] They're here.

Hey, they're here!

[Antoni] They're here!

I'm so excited to see her.

[Tan] Oh my gosh!

-[Bobby] Oh my God.
-[Antoni] What?

-What?
-Oh my gosh.

This looks amazing.

[Tan] You look gorge! Hi, Mary.

-[Bobby] Hi!
-[Jonathan] Isn't it so good?

You know what you're giving me
with these subtle movements? Diana Ross.

-[Jonathan] Yes.
-Yes.

-Yes, she is.
-[Karamo] Oh my gosh.

-It's about to start!
-To start. Are you ready?

Somebody needs to hold my hand.

-We're ready.
-[Mary] Ready.

[gasps]

Oh!

Oh my goodness.

-Who lives here, right?
-No.

-You!
-This is not my house.

-[Bobby] This is your house!
-[Mary] This is not.

[Bobby] This is your house.

[Mary] It's refreshing.
It's new. It's calming.

It's tranquil. It's peaceful.

-[cheering]
-[Mary] Bobby.

[Bobby] The color choices she made before
were just a visceral reaction

to her not being allowed
to have any color while in prison.

But instead of painting walls
these dark, depressing colors,

I brightened everything up,

and I brought in color
through the accessories in her home.

-All the walls are painted!
-All the walls are painted.

-It's bright. It's happy.
-Oh, look-a here!

Oh, Mommy's baby.

Oh.

This is unbelievable.

Oh my goodness.

-America is not ready for this.
-[Tan] America's not ready.

America needs to see the crown molding
on that light fixture because it's cool.

[Mary] It's beautiful.

-Oh my God.
-Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Look at this bathroom.

[Bobby] Nice and organized and cleaned.

Everything in here is intentional.

-[Mary] The floor! It's a new floor.
-[Bobby] Yes.

-[Jonathan] This floor.
-[Mary] It's a floor. Yes.

This is more
than I've ever had in my entire life.

I didn't wanna go minimal
'cause I do know you do love things.

So I put a lot of stuff,
but everything again is very intentional.

[Mary] This is beautiful.
Thank you so much.

Look! There's a dishwasher!

Okay, calm down.

-You don't need to calm down.
-There's a dishwasher!

You don't need to calm down.
Scream at the dishwasher!

-Yeah!
-Oh my goodness!

Oh!

Shrimp étouffée.

[Antoni] I love storing food.
After a long day, and you're like,

"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
or shrimp étouffée?"

And after we're all gone,
and you're left with your feelings,

I thought it would be nice if you did
something nice and meditative.

You can make your shrimp étouffée
and think about what the week was like,

and you can have a moment for yourself.

I know how I felt
when we were at the restaurant,

and we cooked this for the first time.
I know what that did for me.

Cooking through trauma.
That transformed me.

Not gonna solve everything immediately.

-I know.
-But it's a tool, right?

-[Mary] Cooking through trauma.
-Yes. Cooking through trauma.

[Tan] There's so much beautiful stuff here
that I can't wait to show you.

So the jewelry is mostly yours.

Even if all you did was stack the bangles,

it really is a beautiful way
to complement any outfit.

The most important thing
in here for me is this.

You mentioned there was a red dress
that you wore when you were younger.

-This is a modern take on that dress.
-[Mary] Yes.

I hope you feel just as gorgeous
in this as you did in that.

Yes.

Now, because you had a lot
of African-inspired clothing

in your closet already,

we wanted to go with bold prints
that feel almost reminiscent of that.

Ready to get dressed?
I wanna put you in something different.

-Yes.
-Okay, great.

Kids, we ready?

-Yeah.
-Yes.

Ms. Mary, would you join me, please?

♪ Because I'm rolling, rolling… ♪

[Bobby] I love this.

[Jonathan] Mare!

-Oh my God.
-[Karamo] Mary!

[Tan] She's feeling herself.

Tan, you really gave her,
like, maximalist.

-Yes!
-[laughs]

[Tan] The prints she had
in her closet were gorgeous.

We wanted to give a modern take of it,

and also, she's looking real regal,
and I wanted to really give regal.

-Look how she's standing.
-[Tan] I know.

Well, even though this is
very chic and ladylike and regal,

but I feel powerful.

Yeah.

Over the past 12 and a half years,

I've been made to feel like,
you know, "Hold your head down."

-[Tan] Stifled.
-And, yeah, that kind of thing.

"What are you looking at, inmate?"
You know, so you hold your head down.

But it's like, "I'm looking at you."

-Okay!
-[Tan] Yeah!

And I'm sizzling.

Ah!

[Bobby] Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

Yes, Mary.

Next look, please.

-Thanks, kids.
-[Mary] Be right back.

Be quiet when you come in.
Don't be too loud.

-We don't want her to know you're here.
-Hi!

-Hey, everybody.
-[Bobby] Hey, Anthony, man.

What's up? Have a seat.

[Antoni] I saw that coming from a mile.

[Tan] Okay, kids.

Our gorgeous Mary.

Yes!

Oh!

[all laughing]

This is beautiful.

[Karamo] Look at how gorgeous she looks!

-[Anthony] She looks beautiful.
-[Karamo] Right?

-[Antoni] Isn't she a stunner?
-[Mary] What you…

[laughs]

[Anthony] You look magnificent.

Beautiful.

-Excuse me one second.
-Look at her smile.

-Her eyes are smiling.
-[Jonathan] Right?

-I feel so beautiful.
-[Anthony] Your eyes are sparkling.

-Like years have been lifted.
-[Tan] Yeah.

I've not seen you this coy and shy
like a little… Who are you?

I know. I know.

What's going on out here? Hey. Hey.

How you doing? Karamo. Nice to meet you.

-[Jonathan] We love Mary.
-Absolutely gorgeous.

-Isn't she?
-[Anthony] Yes.

So I'm about to go get your mama right now
so she's surprised.

I'll see y'all in a second.

-[boy] My heart's b*ating.
-Why is your heart b*ating?

-Are you nervous?
-Yes, I'm nervous.

[Karamo]
We have one more surprise. Come with me.

-[Bobby] Okay.
-[Mary] Outside?

Here we go. Here we go.

Who got on heels?

-Oh my goodness!
-[man] Stop it! Stop it!

-Look who's there!
-[man] Who in the--

I'll go first. Excuse me. Excuse me.

[laughing]

-[Mary] Hey.
-[David] The shoes!

[Mary laughing]

You look so pretty. You look so pretty.

[boy] I like your shoes, Grandma Mary.

Thank you.

This is your son? And this your daughter!

-Yes.
-Oh my God.

Look how big they are!

Mary has finally gotten to a place
where she can forgive herself,

and now she can ask her kids
for forgiveness.

[Taquilla] I've never group-hugged
my mom before.

It's time for her to actually do the work
so she can heal her family

and create a legacy
that is strong and vibrant.

[Mary] This week has been a new birth.

I'm not gonna say the old Mary has d*ed
because she's still there,

but I have hugged more in this past week

than I have hugged in over 20 years.

-[Tan] Yes.
-[Mary] You have opened my soul.

My soul.

And you've given me
and all these people behind me

another opportunity.

Man, you guys have changed my world.

-Thank you so much.
-Thank you.

My shrimp étouffée.

-[Tan] And on that note…
-On that note, we love you.

-Y'all have fun.
-[Bobby] Bye.

Bye.

-[Anthony] Thank you so much.
-Bye, everyone.

Bye.

Oh.

The Fab Five.

-[horn honks]
-[Mary] Are you ready to go inside?

Welcome to my home.

Oh my goodness!

-This is beautiful.
-[chuckles]

This is beyond cr--
Y'all don't underst-- It's beautiful.

-[Jamar] Look at these shoes.
-[David] I'm tripping on that!

[chuckles]

[Mary] Hey, guys, sit down for a second.
Mama needs to tell you something, okay?

Um, I learned a lot this week
about myself for real.

And I was reading Junior's letter,
the last letter that he sent me.

He said, "Well, Mom,
you didn't teach me love and emotions,"

and I know you needed
a certain love from me.

I didn't know how to give that to you.
I didn't know love.

-I didn't know.
-Makes a big difference.

I kinda had a detachment.

And then, when I got out of prison,

I felt like you guys
would feel shame of me

because I had been to prison,

so I just stayed away.

I'm really sorry
for not being able to give you the love,

to be able to show you guys what love is.

-Right.
-We have to break that cycle.

We have to break it.

[David] I appreciate you, you know,
putting that on the table

'cause it's a great first step.

Bring everybody together,
put this whole thing behind us,

and really start to move
in a positive direction.

-I've been proud of you this whole time.
-Thank you.

The work that you've been doing
for yourself, that's what I'm watching.

But I know this is the beginning, so…

Thank you.

-I love you.
-[Jamar] And I love you back.

[breathes deeply]

-[voice breaking] I'm so proud of you.
-I'm real proud of you too.

[Mary] So, hopefully, this won't be
your last time here, you know?

[Taquilla] No, definitely not.

-[Mary] I'm so happy to see the baby.
-[David] I'll work on my emotions later.

[Mary chuckles]

-Well, have you had any shrimp étouffée?
-[Taquilla] I have not.

[Mary] Come on. Let's go feed everybody.

[Taquilla] The smell? Definitely.

[laughing]

We have done well.

We are going to have some shrimp étouffée.

[Anthony] This is really delicious.

[girl] This is good.

There was all this time lost.
It's so easy to get caught up on the past.

But she doesn't seem to hold
any bitterness or resentment.

She's excited about the now,
and she's hopeful for the future.

I think that's a lesson for all of us.

[laughs] You ain't got rhythm!

[laughing]

Mary teaches us
that our trauma doesn't define us,

and no matter what we go through,
we are capable

of healing, love, joy, and community.

And that's what life's about.

[smooth music plays]

[squeak]

[squeak]

Got a squeak that makes you tweak?

Don't recoil. Get some olive oil.

See? No more squeak.

[door squeaking]

[jazzy music plays]

♪ I know I got my man ♪

♪ But sometimes
It feels like he's holding me down ♪

♪ Your love feels like an ocean ♪

♪ And I try to walk ♪

♪ Walk on water ♪

♪ But the waves keep crashing ♪

♪ The waves keep crashing ♪

♪ Now I'mma need someone to rescue me ♪

♪ Your love feels like a mountain ♪

♪ I keep climbing ♪

♪ Climbing higher ♪

♪ Clouds keep coming ♪

♪ Clouds keep coming ♪

♪ I can't see
Someone save me, please ♪