04x11 - We're in Japan - Crazy in Love

[bunniefuu]

-That would have been...
-[Antoni] I feel a little happy.

-I love my friends!
-Yeah!

-Hi!
-[screams]

-Look at you!
-Thank you.

Welcome to Ni-Chome, boys.

-[cheering] Yeah!
-Oh, my gosh!

[Kiko] This is New Sazae. Let's go!

I want to wear that outfit! [chuckles]

-We'll take it from her later.
-You promise?

I'll put you in it.

So this bar is one of my favorite bars.
It's called New Sazae.

It's open since 1966.

-Ooh.
-Whoa.

And the legendary Freddie Mercury
came to this bar.

And when he came in, he said,

[in Japanese] "I'm home!"

[all in Japanese] I'm home!

Oh!

-[Jonathan] Cool!
-[Bobby] This place is special.

This place is, I think,
the earliest gay bar in Ni-Chome.

And Ni-Chome is one
of the biggest gay district in Tokyo.

You are fully immersed in the gay scene
out here?

You know, nobody really cares who I am.

I can be fully, just like, you know,
having fun.

And this place only plays
good disco music, which is my favorite.

-Playing some Sasha Fierce. Good for you.
-[laughs]

[laughs]

All right, guys,
this week, our hero is Kan.

[indistinct people talking]

[in Japanese] My name is Kan.
I'm 27 years old and I live in Tokyo.

I'm originally from a country area
[laughs]

with a lot of tea fields.

"When Kan was only five years old, he knew
he was different from the other kids.

His classmates called him okama."

Okama is a really...

harsh word.

-That sucks.
-Okama means she-male.

Oh, no.

"He was nominated by Miki,
who was his best friend in college."

Love.

[in Japanese] When I first met him,

I didn't really know
what being gay meant.

"Kan struggles
to be an out-gay proud man in Japan.

Feeling he can't be truly accepted
as his self

has given Kan anxiety his entire life.

Being q*eer in Japan it still considered
by some to be morally wrong."

How typical is it for gay men
to be out with their families?

It's still difficult.

But younger generations,
they're more open about it,

-Uh-hum.
-so, it's like... It's changing.

[in Japanese] I decided to go to Canada,

because my life goal was
to study abroad.

[in Japanese] In Canada, at his college,
he just exploded.

It seemed like he figured out
how to live true to himself.

[Kan in Japanese]
And I started to realize

that I wanted to go to graduate school.

So, I went to London.

That is when I met Tom.

"Kan is in a long distance relationship
with his British boyfriend for two years.

Tom lives in London

and Kan dreams of living with him
in the same city one day."

-[Kiko] Aw.
-[Jonathan] Okay.

"For now, they visit each other
a few times a year

and talk whenever they can."

It's an LTR, LDR.

-Long term, long distance?
-Yeah.

[Kan in Japanese]
When I came back to Japan,

back to where it was hard to live,

I was in a state of shock.

[Miki in Japanese] The culture of people
expecting others

to act a certain way is too much.

I believes he feels

like he shouldn't stay in Japan.

[in Japanese]
When it comes to sexuality,

it's difficult to live in Japan.

I have my own life here
with great friends.

I love my company, too.

When I think I may have

to throw it all away, it makes me sad.

[funky music playing]

[Bobby] "Kan works in marketing
for a cosmetics company."

Love!

So you don't have to start from scratch
with him.

-We're sisters in skin care.
-[Bobby] Hmm, okay.

[Miki in Japanese]
Your closet is pathetic.

This closet isn't fun at all.

Kan has something
deep within himself,

but he doesn't show it
[chuckles] in his fashion.

[laughing] This one, this one.

This one, too! [laughs]

[in Japanese] That's also my favorite.
But because I got too chubby,

Beyoncé is going to pop out! [laughs]

-Tom is visiting from London.
-Whoa.

"He's introducing Tom to his brother
for the first time

and hopes that Tom will be accepted
by his family."

Aw!

-That's a big, big event.
-Big thing.

-Yeah.
-Oh, my God.

[in Japanese] My mom and brother are
coming from the countryside.

I really hope that Tom and my brother

will get along well together.

So you're not, like, nervous or worried?

Uh... I guess a little bit nervous.

What is the thing
you're most excited about?

Well, it's going to be great
to see you, of course.

Ah!

[in Japanese] When we go outside,
I worry about people staring at us.

I try to make sure no one is around us
when I hold his hand.

-All right. Bye.
-Bye. Love you.

Love you too.

[in Japanese] I want to ask the Fab 5

to bring out his confidence in Japan

so that he can be who he is.

All right, guys. Our mission this week.

Let's show Kan there is no reason
to be fearful when you are flawless.

-[cheering] Yes!
-Yeah!

-Cheers to that. Kanpai!
-Cheers! Kanpai, kanpai!

DAY 1

THE NAIL THAT STICKS OUT
GETS HAMMERED DOWN

[Antoni] We're here?

[Tan] Cute little street he's on.

[Jonathan] Nailing it.

[Bobby] Yes!

[hums]

-[Antoni] What? Like tandem?
-[Karamo] Yeah!

-Oh, Kan.
-[Jonathan] How fun.

Kan?

Kan!

-[screams]
-[laughs]

[laughs]

How are you? Nice to meet you.

[in Japanese] Nice to meet you, hello!

-[chattering]
-[laughs]

What were you listening to?

Beyoncé.

[cheering] Yes!

Kan loves Beyoncé. I love Beyoncé.
I already love Kan.

-Cute.
-Arigato.

Aw.

[in Japanese] Thank you! [laughs]
Thank you very much.

Could you guys be any cuter together?
Oh, my God.

[laughs]

Your gorgeous boyfriend speaks Japanese.

[Kan in Japanese]
Just a little. He's learning now.

-Love!
-Are you teaching him? Or he already knew?

[in Japanese]
He's learning Japanese on his own.

-That's real love.
-[chuckles]

I wanna be respectful, but I also want
to go through your things. So, I'm out.

Tell us about your space.
'Cause I don't see a lot of you here.

Is that typical in a Japanese apartment?

To like, not really have things
on the walls? 'Cause I've noticed that.

[in Japanese]
Some people like to decorate,

but for me, I like to keep it simple.

[Tan] Should we update
his resolution board?

[Antoni] Got a lighter.

-That's cute.
-Dress so cute.

Is that because you like it
on the simple side?

[in Japanese] Mm.
I don't even know how to decorate my home.

I want to customize my room
to feel like my real own space.

but I don't know how.

Also, maybe I don't feel
like this place is my own home.

This is the extent of his kitchen?

[Antoni] Kan's kitchen doesn't give me
much to judge

because there isn't very much in it.

There's one pan, one pot.

Crazy mixed-up salt.

Oh! And of course some frozen rice
in the freezer.

[Bobby] So you don't feel at home here?

-Not very much.
-In this apartment or Japan in general?

-I guess Japan in general.
-Okay. Why do you feel that is?

Um... I don't feel like I'm...

included into the society often times.
Uh, me being gay...

Sometimes I have a hard time
and I don't see Japan

as a permanent residency.

What makes you feel
like you're not welcome here?

So, I get, you know, questions
about me being gay a lot.

When I come out to people, I get
gay sex kind of questions and like...

Really? And that's... That's just
from like co-workers or...

-Random strangers?
-Yeah! From everyone!

Like your co-workers like don't know that
you have a partner, is that what it is?

We don't really talk about it.
We kind of have some kind of distance.

Right.

Oh! Look, how adorable this is.

His boyfriend kind of looks like Bobby.

[laughs]

-[Tan] Just 'cause they're both white.
-[laughs]

This...

-gets on my nerves.
-I know, I know.

When people get out of the shower
and leave their stuff on the floor.

Like... watch this, watch this.

-No, don't.
-Done!

-Oh, his underwear.
-[Tan] Ew.

-Is that underwear?
-You just touched his underwear.

-[screams]
-Why did you rub that on my face? [laughs]

-[Karamo] Intelligent, body spotlight.
-What's that mean?

He wants to get his body together.

He's trying to get his mind right
and get them [mocking] coins up, honey.

-He wants to be coinsey.
-Love!

-He wants to be coinsey.
-A vision board.

Here you go, Tan. Do you want
to hold on to the chocolates? [chuckles]

I'd love these generic chocolates. Yes.

-Oh, that's my chocolate.
-I think you'll find it's mine, now.

[cackles]

Hold on really quickly.
Can I just tell you?

[laughs]

I am all about a vision board.
Is this your vision board?

-Yes, it is.
-Yes! [screams]

Come through, let's go through.

[Kan in Japanese] I am very good
at setting and writing down a goal.

But I'm not very good
at fitting those into my life

and achieving them.

So, what happens when you start
to go forward with this?

What do you feel when you realize
like "I have all of these goals,

but they're not happening?"

I just erase them. [laughs]

-Are you the "Beyhive"?
-Yeah!

So, what would Bey say?

-I saw here!
-Yeah!

-Bey yourself! [laughs]
-Bey yourself! [laughs]

-Okay. We are the Beyhive.
-That's my theme. [chuckling] Yeah.

-This is too much. This is too much, okay?
-[laughs]

-Let's just do this.
-Are we gonna take it off?

-Yeah. Let's just do that.
-All right. [chuckles]

-Let's just... Yeah.
-[giggles]

Gone.

Do you feed Kan?
How often does he use you?

Is this what he sleeps on?

[effort grunts]

[hair dryer blowing]

[groans]

Well...

[hair dryer blowing]

[laughs]

That's cute.

[sniffs]

Not comfortable.

[effort grunts]

[Antoni] Are you an adventurous eater?

-Yeah. I ate bugs.
-You... Oh, bugs. Okay.

That's your definition
of an adventurous eater. Okay.

Because this isn't
the most adventurous kitchen.

Oh, I cook sometimes.

What do you cook?

-I grill chicken. This is why it's here.
-Okay.

-And I just cook rice.
-Got you.

-Does Tom like Japanese cuisine?
-Yeah.

Okay. So you're both
like open to anything.

I'm more open. [chuckles]

-You're more open than he is?
-Yeah.

Is it hard to feed him when he's here?

-It is.
-What do you make for him?

I grilled some beef for him and served
with rice. And he liked it.

-Okay. So he likes grilled meat and rice.
-Yeah.

I just want to help you this week

to figure out how we can kind
of elevate what you already have.

Because the most important thing
is already there.

You're in love with someone.
You want to show up for him.

You want to be better for yourself.

Now we just have to, like, make it
a little more chic.

Yeah.

[Tan] Okay. I'd like
to talk through your wardrobe.

-Is this like your regular go to look?
-This is very regular.

And very simple because I'm not
confident enough in myself.

What do you think knocks your confidence?

Mmm...

I think I...

-pay attention to what people say.
-Yeah.

I think like people here
don't really like being different.

-People want to be the same.
-Okay.

That's the... like a social norm.

Do you like blending into the crowd?

I don't want to but like, when I realize,
like, I'm just being one of them.

Not being myself.

I remember those feelings all too well.

You know you want to be more
than that person

that you are in the daytime,
that you're presenting to people at work.

You feel like you're pigeon-holed
because of the life you're living.

When you go to London, or you go
to these other major cities,

are you Kan in Japan?

Or are you a more fabulous Kan?

I become a fabulous Kan
when I go to Canada.

Okay. Who's fabulous Kan?
What does that look like?

Fabulous Kan smiles all the time.

And I just have fun, you know,
going clubbing, dancing.

If you had your dream closet,
what would your dream closet look like?

It's more colorful.

Right now you have dark options.
Everything is dark.

And your closet is super limited.

-It is.
-The only things I found

that are a little bit louder

are these.

Beyoncé. She just inspires me.
You know, encourage me to be myself.

Because she is being herself.

But I hear from Miki is that

you've got, like, so much going on inside.

-You just...
-[laughs]

Your clothes don't reflect it.

We've got basic Kan down.
Now let's bring out fabulous Kan.

-Yeah, yeah. Yeah!
-[laughing] Yeah?

-[Jonathan] Hi, queens!
-Hi!

I think I've got all the story
I need for the clothes.

-Great!
-What are we going to do with your looks?

-What?
-Embrace color!

Okay. I love color.

I have to say. Girl!

-This texture that you're serving is...
-[laughs] Do you like it? [laughs]

The curls in your hair, like the waves
that your hair has is so beautiful.

I wanna play with them.

I feel like, from what I've heard you say
to the boys is that

you're not quite sure like
how comfortable we are in Japan.

I was most comfortable in Vancouver.

Everyone is being themselves.
And when, you know,

I go to Pride and stuff,
I just do the full make-up.

-Sis! I love it. That's fun.
-Yes!

Could you bring some of the qualities
that you experience in Canada

and experiment with bringing them
into your life in Japan?

I don't know.
I have been looking for a way.

Is it in your heart
to wanna rock your gayness?

Yeah. I have the feelings inside and
I just don't know how to make it come out

-to my body. Yeah.
-Yeah. Yeah.

When you are a person in your twenties,
you have to explore,

you have to experiment,
you have to find what works for you.

Getting stuck in a box, honey?
Nobody grows in a box.

We gotta get out of that box,
step on the box,

and use it as a vantage point
to find out who we really are.

So, really we're just gonna bring

all of the lovely world of queerness
here into Tokyo into our look.

And were just gonna be
like little glamazons.

-Oh! Yeah.
-Okay!

-[Jonathan] Hi, boys.
-Little sheepie.

So cute. Let's all gather around.

Adorable!

[melancholic piano music plays]

From already talking to you,

I can see that you have
a really bright future in front of you.

But I can also sense

that there's a lot of anxiety and pressure
you're putting on yourself.

And even though we're telling you
to love yourself and feel comfortable here

that's easier said than done.

So you're ready for this week?

I am! Yeah!

-Bobby, you stay?
-Yep.

Get your shoes, get
your toenail clippers. We gotta go.

I'm gonna take a nap.

[Tan] I think Kan conforms
and he blends in.

I want him
to reflect his true personality.

I'm not making Kan more q*eer.
I'm not making him more this or more that.

I'm just giving him tools
so that he can explore who he wants to be

and how he wants to present.

[Antoni] Tom lives in London,
Kan is in Tokyo.

And for the first time
he's going to be meeting Kan's brother.

So, this is a really great opportunity
for Kan

to really take the reins and just be
a little bit more of a maestro.

Don't sit in the backseat of a car.
Get in the driver's seat.

[Karamo] He feels like there's
so much anxiety around being who he is.

As long as he loves himself,

he's going to find community
that loves and supports him.

If you feel you can't be yourself out
in the world, be yourself at home.

You need to make sure you're nesting, that
you're making your place your happy place.

[techno music plays]

[music fades out]

DAY 2

ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR

[Bobby] We're going to go shopping today.

[in Japanese] I'm so excited.

-Huh?
-I'm so excited!

-[Bobby laughs] Oh! Good!
-[laughs]

I noticed in Japan that people don't
really put a lot of things on the walls.

-Right?
-No. No, we really can't.

-Because, like, we rent the place.
-Right.

But temporary wallpaper is great

because it sticks on its own
and you can peel it right off.

So even if you're renting,

you can add some personality
to your place and make it feel like home

without losing your deposit
of your apartment. Kitchen stuff.

I love adding different types
of materials in my plate.

-So you have like
-Mmm.

what people would
consider a cold color, which is black.

Mm.

But then you put the wood
and it instantly warms it up

and makes it look really rich
and inviting.

Right now it's not very warm and inviting.

-Yes! [laughs]
-You know. I can tell that...

You know
the term "one foot out the door"?

-No.
-When somebody has one foot out the door,

it means that their mind is thinking
about being somewhere else.

Yeah, I kind of ready, always ready to

-go to, you know, somewhere else.
-[laughs]

It's fine to have plans of maybe moving
somewhere else. That's great.

But I want to make sure that

you are taking care of Kan here.

You don't have control over Kan
in the past,

you don't necessarily have 100% control
over Kan in the future.

But Kan, right now,

-you control your happiness. You get that?
-That's... Yeah.

That's right, yeah. I feel like I've
been, like, focusing on the future

-more than right now.
-Yeah.

So I was kind of losing
what I have right now.

-Right? Good.
-Right. Yeah.

All right, let's keep looking.

I want to find a space for you to sleep.
So I saw this one earlier.

And it pulls out a little bit.
So, that way, it's a nice

-comfy bed in the living room.
-Oh, it's a bed!

Yup, it pulls out a little bit,
so it's a bed.

When you're working with a small space,
you always wanna make sure that

everything you use
serves more than one purpose.

And so this is great because at night
you can sleep on it,

during the day when you have friends over,
when you have Tom over,

-it's a place where you can actually...
...Oh yeah, this is, yeah, what I did.

-Yeah. Yeah!
-All right, let's get you out of here.

-Whoa!
-[laughs]

This country is not made
for people of my height.

[laughs]

["Just For Fun" playing]

We are gonna get to eat, but we have
to do a bit of work before. Is that okay?

-[in Japanese] Got it.
-Okay.

-Yuji-san.
-[in Japanese] Ah! [chuckles] Hello.

-Hello. Konichiwa
-[laughs]

-[in Japanese] Hello.
-This is Kan-san.

[in Japanese]
Hello. I'm Yuji Takahashi.

What do you know about yakitori?

[in Japanese] Well, you skewer
chicken meat and grill it?

[in Japanese] That's right.

It's not about Kan necessarily making
yakitori in his studio apartment,

but it's about being educated
about his homeland.

When Tom comes
he should feel taken care of.

And you have to incorporate your culture
with the person you're trying to impress.

Yakitori is perfect for that.

[in Japanese] So, each skewer is
about 45 grams.

[in Japanese] One skewer?

[in Japanese] Basically, 45 grams is
the ideal amount

for the heat to go through evenly

when you skewer the chicken
with a uniform thickness.

First, cut the chicken into 1-cm pieces,

and then you want to cut it
into 3-cm pieces.

You're going to skewer
the smaller pieces at the bottom.

And then gradually sticking
the bigger pieces on top.

I want the first bite to be
the best one with the most flavor.

Yeah! I understand that.

[in Japanese] I've never made yakitori
on my own before, so I'm really happy

to have the opportunity
to be taught by a professional.

You're very good.

-[Kan] Can I put it... Really?
-[Yuji] Yes, you can place it down.

-[Antoni] Forty-five grams.
-Yes. [laughs]

[Antoni laughs] Very precise!

-[Kan in Japanese] Amazing!
-[laughs]

[Yuji in Japanese]
All right, let's grill them.

[Kan in Japanese] Yes.

Okay. Charcoal is
similar to infrared light.

The outside of the chicken

[in Japanese] doesn't get burnt
and the inside is cooked perfectly.

-[Kan] It smells so good.
-[Yuji] Right?

-[in Japanese] Thank you.
-[in Japanese] Yes.

-It's good. It's very juicy.
-Good?

[sighs]

-[Yuji in Japanese] Here we are.
-[Kan in Japanese] Thank you very much.

-[Antoni] Arigato gozaimasu.
-[in Japanese] Yes, thank you very much.

There's an expression that I learned.

-Do you know what nanakorobi yaoki means?
-Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's sort
of like that continuous path of

trying to, like, find yourself and it

sometimes goes up and down
but it's sort of like that trajectory.

Would you consider yourself
a proud gay man,

or is that something more
that you're working towards?

[melancholic music plays]

[in Japanese] I think I'm really close
to being the ideal version of myself.

But when I'm in my comfort zone,

I hear the voices of other people,

I still sometimes slip back
into panic mode.

But, the more comfortable that we are
with ourselves and, like, who we are,

I think the better we can
just sort of like walk in public

and just keep our head up and not have to
walk in shame and worry about it as much.

Because the voices are always going
to be there.

Mmm.

So, at the end of the week,
you have this dinner.

-[laughs]
-You, mom, brother, Tom.

You're gonna go to a yakitori restaurant,

you're gonna know exactly what to order,
you can give him some facts.

Just be a proud, confident
Japanese gay man

who's in love with an international,
long-distance long-term relationship.

[music ends]

[uplifting music plays]

-Such a nice day, isn't it? The sun is up.
-Yeah.

-Oh, here, hand me that.
-Thank you.

You're welcome.

One of the things that I noticed
when we were talking is

there's a large part of you
that doesn't feel comfortable

in gay culture in Japan. Correct?

[in Japanese] That's the case.

In my daily life,
I have a lot of stress

and anxiety towards being gay.

[melancholic music plays]

I feel like my confidence levels have been

-low lately.
-Yeah.

We all don't just have confidence
every single day.

We have to build ourselves up.

Oh my gosh. This is my friend Kodo.

-Ah!
-[laughs]

-[uplifting music plays]
-Konichiwa.

-Konichiwa.
-Oh.

-Do you know Kodo?
-Yeah.

-Oh, my God!
-[in Japanese] Of course I do.

Kodo is a Buddhist monk and also a makeup
artist for the Miss Universe pageant.

He is living his life proud and open
here in Japan.

Don't you live? 'Cause I live.

[music fades out]

How did you get to the place
where you felt like you can be

who you are, no matter where?

When I was young, people made fun of me.

[melancholic music plays]

And when I decided to study art
in New York,

I learned that it's really important
to know who you are.

And for me it was being a gay Asian.

So I decided to play with makeup.

And then I felt a little more confident.
And I felt a little more like who I am.

I started wearing heels outside.

And people started yelling at me
on the street and I was really offended.

But when I arrive to my destination
to a cafe,

a really fancy French lady told me,
"Oh, I love your heels!"

And I was like, "Wow! Somebody likes me!"

When I was becoming a monk,

I was very nervous
because I look like this.

-[in Japanese] Wow!
-Right?

-You look amazing.
-Thank you.

I asked my master, "Is it okay
that I wear heels and makeup?"

But he told me, "If it helps you to spread
the message of equality,

then I think it's okay."
Because in Buddhism

everybody is equal.
And because I do this, I

get messages telling me, "Oh, I feel

very liberated because you showed me how,

I can be who I am."

[music fades out]

[in Japanese] I want to be like that.

But I worry if I'll be able to.

When people say bad things about me,

the life I've been
building up gets destroyed in an instant.

[in Japanese]
What have people said to you?

[in Japanese] When I was
in the gay community in England,

they've said that they hate Asians.

Or on dating apps,
it may say "No Asians".

It's just a simple phrase,
[crying] but after hearing that,

I felt like everything
I'd built crumbled at that moment.

[crying] And when I sought help

and went to the Japanese community,

they would call me okama. [crying]

I don't know
what to do with myself anymore. [cries]

You don't deserve to experience that.

Those things you're saying,
I've heard too. About my dark skin.

They say it's too dark.

I still have to tell myself,

"Someone may not like me,
but I like myself.

I love myself."

-Do you do that about yourself too?
-Yes.

These were gifts that you were given.
It's gifts that we were all given.

And when you start to accept those gifts

is when you start to realize
that no matter where you are in the world,

you can be happy.

You're not alone. Look down on this.
You see this? You're not alone.

So we're going to meet up with
another friend of mine. You know Kiko?

-Kiko Mizuhara?
-Yes.

-[in Japanese] Are you serious?
-[laughs] Yeah!

-We're going to go take a little tour,
-Oh, my God.

'cause I want you to know that people
love and support you. You're not alone.

-[in Japanese] Take care.
-[in Japanese] Thank you very much.

-[Karamo] You ready to go have some fun?
-[Kan] Yeah. Kiko?

-I know.
-Really?

-Yes. [laughs]
-Oh, my God. That's amazing.

[uplifting music plays]

-[screaming] Ah!
-Hey!

I've been always a fan of you.

I'm trying my best not to be nervous.

-Ah!
-[laughs]

[Karamo] I wanna introduce Kan
to LGBT people

who are proud of who they are and living
their lives openly here in Japan.

This place is a historical lesbian bar
in Tokyo.

I just needed it, the place,
just be natural.

He gets to see
that there are so many people here

who are an inspiration,

who are proud of themselves
and who are leading amazing lives.

-I still feel like I'm on the way to,
-[Kiko] Yeah.

you know, accept myself fully.

[in Japanese] There's a lot of
different types of people.

I am me and you are you.

[in English] Some people with narrow mind.

-I don't wanna spend time
-Mmm.

or care about them.

There's another person that I want you
to meet. He's my best friend.

-Sure!
-[laughs]

-[Kiko] Champagne.
-[Karamo] Champagne, man.

-Champagne's working.
-Champagne, it's working.

-Hey!
-Hey!

-I also lived in UK, in London.
-Oh!

-This the spot you DJ at?
-This is where I throw my monthly events.

Now you know somebody so you can come
to these parties.

-Yes!
-[laughs]

Anytime he starts to feel uncomfortable
about who he is...

-Cheers!
-Cheers! Kanpai!

...I want him to remember me,

Kodo, and all these amazing community
members who are saying, "You are enough.

No need to have that anxiety anymore.
You belong."

Let's see how this is gonna look.

Love it.

DAY 3

FALL DOWN SEVEN TIMES
GET UP EIGHT

Okay, so your closet is actually great.

You've got the basics down.
You've got great the button-up shirts,

you've got great pants, you've got
great jackets. I love all of those things.

But none of them are really special, Kan.
So let's add that special to it.

So, this isn't a bright color.
It's still relatively subdued.

But with this you could throw on

a beautiful bomber jacket. It's just
a little something that adds a bit of Kan.

[in Japanese] I like orange.

I love orange.

[in Japanese] But for some reason
there's no orange in my closet.

Well, then now we will incorporate it
to your closet.

-[laughs]
-Okay.

-So give it a try, please.
-[in Japanese] Yes.

-[laughing] Are you ready? Okay.
-Yeah.

-Tada!
-Okay. Okay!

How do you feel in it?

[in Japanese] I think it's cute!

-Cute.
-Yeah, kawaii. It's cute!

I love a brown on you.

Oh, this looks [chuckling] so nice.

-Do you see how chic this looks?
-Yes!

-It's still cool and still interesting.
-[in Japanese] This is so cool!

Kan really is taking to this new look

like a duck to water. It's clear
that he had this in him all along.

[chuckling] Oh, yeah!

You look so good.

He just needed
to be pointed in the right direction

and be shown that he can wear color

without him looking like he's somebody
he's not.

[in Japanese] These clothes feel more like
who I am

than what I usually wear.

This is a style
that expresses who I am inside

that I want to show externally.

-Konichiwa!
-[in Japanese] Good evening! Hello!

-How are you?
-Good, how are you?

[Jonathan] Take a seat.

-Arigato gozaimasu.
-Mm-mm.

Gorgeous. I love the texture of your hair.
I just feel like,

through the sides,
it gets a little bit bulky,

and I wish that it sat into your head
a little bit more.

[in Japanese]
I'm not trying to grow it out,

so I think it's good to make the sides

a little lighter like you've mentioned.

Ah, great. Here, come with me.
Let's rinse your hair.

What is the difference between,
like, you in London and you here?

'Cause you were saying
you felt more in your element.

[in Japanese] In Tokyo, I care more

about what other people think of me.

-Because...
-Because...

[in Japanese] people don't directly say
things to you in Japan.

But there are rules and you obey them.

If you don't,
then you'll become socially singled out.

It's not in the same way,
but I guess what it is to, like, kind of

feel like you can't

live your all-the-way honest truth
in the situation that you're born into,

and the need to escape that.

But it still is true
that freedom is found from within.

Part of how we see change

in culture, at least in my experience,
is visibility.

People being able to see that gay people

are amazing hard workers,
are very talented.

They do all the same things that
their heteronormative counterparts do,

individually. It starts with us making
small choices to be seen.

That also can mean, like,
you just being seen by yourself.

[in Japanese] You mean, I should try
becoming who I want to become?

By you living in your truth,
you make it easier

and better and more possible
for other people to live in their truth.

Because it's never the situation.
It's always your reaction.

-Mmm.
-It's never Tokyo. That's not the issue.

The issue is Kan's reaction
to Kan in Tokyo.

Mmm.

And you can kind of get a little bit
of the freedom that you felt

in London and Vancouver
and start to bring it here.

[in Japanese] That's true.

Blow your hair out
a little bit bigger, you know?

[in Japanese]
I think I could do it that way.

Do you think that Japan has made
any sort of progress?

[in Japanese] In the past few years,

Japanese people debate
about LGBTQ people in the news.

That's one of the biggest changes.

In my opinion.

And how do you think
that that progress happened?

[in Japanese] I think it's because
more people have raised their voices.

Hmm.

Is that a conversation you want
to continue to be a part of?

[in Japanese] Oh, yes.

By you choosing to be so radical,
to not subscribe to the shame

that society that you have been
brought up in puts on gay men is radical.

And you don't have to do that
by dressing like this.

You can radically love yourself
just in your heart

[cheering music plays]

and choose to not take on
the shame that people

would give you
for choosing to live differently.

You have too good a hair to go blow dry

-[chuckles]
-to be concerned what they're thinking.

[in Japanese] If children can see me
and it encourages them a little,

I'd be happy with that.

Yes, God!

[Jonathan] Then, mascara.

This is how you make sure
that you don't look crazy

when you're learning
how to put on mascara.

It removes all the excess.

I like to get mine more on the tips.

-Okay, ready? It's happening.
-[chuckles]

Three, two, one.

[breathes deeply] Ah!

[in Japanese] It looks so good!

Kawaii?

Look how handsome you are.

[in Japanese] Really, it's amazing.

When we keep our truth
of who we really are on our inside,

we give the shame a voice
to get louder and to grow.

When we give visibility
for our true selves to come out,

it takes that shame away.
It allows the world to see,

"You're not so scary.
You're actually really fabulous."

-Mmm.
-Arigato gozaimasu!

DAY 4

KAN YOU BELIEVE?

["Three For The Show" playing]

[Jonathan] How are you feeling?

What's going on
in your baby heart and soul?

Very excited.

Wait! 'Cause there's
no Christmas morning here.

Christmas morning?

Like, Christmas morning.
Like, you don't open a bunch of presents.

-Yeah! Yeah, we did. Yeah.
-I love that.

-Yay for you.
-So, this is Christmas day?

Yeah. Basically.

Honey, you're the luckiest boy

-in all of Japan, honey. I love that.
-Ooh, so lucky. Yeah!

[Jonathan] Oh, my gosh!

Boys! Let a girl in!

[Karamo] Come in!

-[laughs]
-[Kan] Hi!

[Jonathan] Welcome home.

-Come on in.
-[gasps]

-[Jonathan] Can we say "wallpaper"?
-Wah!

[in Japanese] Amazing!

-All the wallpaper is removable.
-It's so amazing.

Black walls, in a 300-foot square space,
you might ask?

It actually adds depth perception
to the room

and it makes the walls look
like they go on forever.

Ah!

[Jonathan] Ah, gorgeous!

-[Kan] I have a new board! [screams]
-Yes, you do!

[Bobby] You don't have to have it
taped up on the wall any more.

I added tall bookcases to the space

so it draws your eye
all the way up to the ceiling,

and it makes the room look taller
than it actually is.

-Oh, so good!
-[cheering]

Oh!

[Karamo] It is so gorgeous in here.

-[Kan] This is so cool.
-[Jonathan] And this statue, honey.

[Kan] It reminds me of St. Sebastian.

-[Jonathan] He is so muscular, damn.
-[laughs]

Here's the sofa bed we picked out.

-Pictures of you and Tom everywhere.
-Aw!

Pictures of you and Miki.

Now it feels like you live here. It feels
personal, like,

-Yeah.
-this is Kan's home.

[Kan] Just lovely.

Let's talk.

When we met, you had that vision board

and the only thing it was doing
was reminding you every day

that you didn't accomplish
something. That's all it was. So...

the new vision board...

is going to include who you are.

This is a mantra. "I am."
So I want you to write down the first one.

This is how I've been feeling. Confident.

[calm piano music plays]

And I'm...

inspiring...

-enough...
-Yes.

-...to change Japan.
-Good!

I'm very kind.

Uh-huh.

You better put handsome right there.

-Handsome.
-Mm-hmm.

You looked in the mirror lately?

-You look [chuckling] good!
-Yeah! I changed so much!

-You look good. You look good.
-Thank you.

These are the goals you need
to be working on.

Because when you work on being confident,
inspiring, kind, hopeful, handsome,

all those other things you want to do,
are just going to work.

Because you're going to know
that you can accomplish it.

You're gonna know you can make changes.
You're gonna know you can do it,

when you have a community behind you
that's supporting you.

[breathe deeply]

-Ah, you're so amazing.
-Thank you so much.

-[uplifting music plays]
-[Tan] Closet time.

I kept a bunch of clothes you had because
I actually you liked your wardrobe.

[in Japanese] Oh, really?

I just added to it.
I saw you had greys in your closet,

so I wanted to give you something
that you're already comfortable with.

So this is just... We're easing you in
with color. You've got a lovely physique.

So I've got you a pair of jeans
that will highlight the best parts of you.

I'm gonna add a pop of color,
like, real color.

Just a little bit of something
that will go a long way.

[in Japanese] It's my first time
wearing a bright color like this.

Are you nervous about it?

[in Japanese] A little bit.

[in Japanese] But I want to try it.

Good.

I loved this coat, so you're gonna wear
that and you're gonna put this over it.

These new shoes, they go with
casual stuff, they go with formal stuff,

they're in really good shape, and they're
gonna be so comfortable for you.

We want Kan! We want Kan!

[in Japanese] Are you guys ready?

-Hai!
-Hai!

Speaking of ," hi, Kan!

-[Karamo screaming] Yes, queen!
-[cheering] Hello!

-[cheering] Oh, yeah!
-[laughs]

-Wow!
-[cheering] Oh, yeah!

-Whoo!
-Wow!

-Who are you?
-[chattering]

Love the shoes, I love the shoes!

-I was distracted by the hat.
-Yes, Keyoncé!

To me,

still being me, but I'm challenging
a bit.

-Just a tiny bit.
-Yes!

Elevated.

-Yeah, elevated. Yeah.
-Titrating the challenge, honey.

-Yeah! [laughs]
-[laughs]

-Antoni's getting a little verklempt.
-I'm into it.

Wow!

-Ah!
-[cheering] Oh!

[Antoni] Look at those pants.

[Jonathan] You look adorable.

[Antoni] This is my favorite pant,
hands down.

This is more a moment for Tom
and your family to get to know each other.

I don't need you to be: ah!

For the record, I'll be offended
if you don't wear those pants.

[laughs]

So, I worked in a Japanese restaurant
for a really long time, in New York.

And we learned all about mixology
and Japanese grill and sushi

and all these different things.
So I wanted to make a cocktail

that was just something
kind of like cute and romantic.

It's called a "St. Germain in Tokyo."

So, when Tom comes here tonight,

he's going to be like WhatsApp
or texting you as he's coming up.

And he's gonna come into the apartment,
you're gonna be shaking him up a cocktail.

-Yeah, that's sexy. Yeah!
-That's sexy!

-That's sexy as hell, right?
-Yeah!

Because I know that you're a man
who really respects precision,

we're gonna do two of this larger one
right over here.

And then this here is a mix of grapefruit,

a little bit of yuzu and half a lime.

You're gonna do two of these.
Have you shaken a cocktail before?

-No.
-I would hold it like this

and then just give it a good old shake.

There you go. Nice and hard.

Break the ice into it.
We want it super chilled.

Perfect.

I have some martini glasses
that are chilling inside your freezer.

If you can grab me one, please?

And this makes one perfect cocktail.

And now edible flowers.

And you can just throw in one or two.

Pop of color in your fashion,
pop of color in your cocktails.

Try that.

-Oishi?
-Hmm.

-Really good.
-Good.

[Karamo] You look so fancy and amazing.

[Kan in Japanese] Thank you all so much
for coming to Tokyo.

I hope you all enjoyed your time here.

Bobby taught me
the expression "one foot out".

I was ready to leave Japan
at any time

because I wasn't living comfortably.

I used to think

that putting one foot back

was something
I could only do within myself.

But I realized
that just by changing my surroundings,

my feelings become influenced.

Now, I feel
like I'm standing on both feet.

Arigato gozamaisu.

Well, this is it.

[in Japanese]
[crying] I'm so sad.

-[cries]
-Aw.

Thank you so much
for coming to Japan. [sobs]

[sobbing]

-We're gonna go now.
-All right. We love our Kan.

-We love our Kan!
-I love you all!

-Aw!
-[smooching] Mm.

THE NEW KAN

YES WE KAN!

["Something Different" playing]

[Kiko] Wow.

I'm getting these skins
really nice and crispy.

Hmm.

[Bobby] What you doing?

[Antoni] Eating yakitori.

-[Karamo] Looks delicious.
-And then this is?

[Antoni] So, that's a
sweet-spicy miso sauce and I added

a little bit of shiso for freshness.

-Tub of miso.
-In love.

It's basically like if mint and basil
had a baby

-it would be shiso. Yeah.
-I love that, baby.

-Let's go!
-You got this one, right?

Yes, yes, yes.

Kiko, do you wanna do the honors,
my love?

Yes. Okay. Let's start this. [chuffs]

[laughs]

[Antoni] Oh, look at our little baby Kan.

-[laughs]
-[Jonathan] Wow!

I love the pants.

[phone vibrating buzz]

Hey.

[Tom on phone] Just to let you know,
I'll be there in about five minutes.

Yeah?

Yeah. Look forward to seeing you.

Yeah! I'm looking forward
to seeing you too!

-Could he be any cuter?
-[laughs]

[Kiko] Oh!

[Antoni] He's making his little
St. Germain in Tokyo.

Oh, that's a lot of St. Germain.

-[Kiko and Karamo] Yuzu.
-He's making really good use of that yuzu.

Mm-hmm.

[all cheering] Oh, there's Tom!

-[Jonathan] Oh!
-[Tan] Boyfriend! Oh!

Arigato gozaimasu.

[sighs]

That's how he looks getting off a flight?
Good for you.

[laughing] I know.
I was about to say. Wow.

[chuckles] Hey, Tom! Hey!

Good to see you!

-[screams]
-[cheering]

-I love love.
-[clapping]

Aw! [chuckles]

-You look amazing.
-Yeah?

-Thank you.
-It's so nice to see you.

[moans]

-[Kiko] Oh, my God!
-Blissful smile.

[Kan] Welcome to my new house.

-Oh, my God. [laughing]
-Isn't it crazy?

-This is awesome.
-I know!

This is... Yeah, I agree with...
I agree with this.

[laughs]

Bobby's done a good job.

-Bobby, you did do a very good job.
-Thank you, Tom.

[sighs]

[sighs] It was the longest time
we couldn't chat each other.

I know, right? Very long.

I know. [chuckles]

[laughs]

Young gay loves, it's like an interracial
couple. Two young gay men

finding their way, like, that is gorgeous.

-Cheers. Good to see you.
-Cheers.

Thank you for coming to Japan.

Oh, you're more than welcome.
It's lovely to see you.

[Kan] It's really nice.

[in Japanese] Good evening.

-Ah!
-[in Japanese] Yes?

[in Japanese]
Can we get the Sparkling 50? Yes.

There's sparkling sake?
Get the f...- out of here.

-[Antoni] It's slightly effervescent.
-[Kiko] Yum.

-I'll let you... like...
-Okay.

[in Japanese] We'd like to order, please.

One Genshiyaki and...

[Antoni] Sometimes it's nice just to have
somebody else kind of

-take the lead.
-I love that. I find it super romantic.

-You know? Absolutely.
-Yeah.

-You always do it for me, Antoni.
-I do! Because I know what you like.

[in Japanese] Good evening.

-Hi.
-Hello.

[laughs]

I'm obsessed with his mom.

-[in Japanese] Hi. Nice to see you.
-[laughs] Nice to see you.

-[in Japanese] Nice to meet you.
-[in Japanese] Nice to meet you.

-I'm Dan.
-This is Tom.

His brother is very handsome!

-[laughs]
-[in Japanese] Amazing.

Sugoi, sugoi.

[laughs]

-[in Japanese] Look! I got new clothes.
-[laughs]

-Nice. [chuckling]
-Nice, yeah. [chuckles]

-He's being himself.
-He's living.

-Kanpai!
-Kanpai! [laughs]

Kanpai!

[in Japanese]
How much Japanese can you speak?

-[in Japanese] I'm studying a little bit.
-[in Japanese] It's amazing.

So, I know how hard Tom is trying
right now

because I always try to speak
a little Vietnamese to my mother-in-law,

so I'm sure Kan's mother is loving this.

I do the same. I try and speak
as much American with my mother-in-law.

[laughs]

Yeah. I'm constantly "yee-haw"-ing her,

-and she's...
-[laughs]

[Kan in Japanese] So, I met five experts
and they made me realize

that I've been living
a minimal and simple life

because my foot was always out the door,

ready to leave Japan.

I had a lot of time

to reflect on my past
and I had many tough times.

And I know that
it must've been hard for the family,

but it makes me really happy

to be able to get together and eat.

[in Japanese]
We were hoping to be of help, you know?

[laughs]

My first impression of Tom was amazing.

I wanted to meet him again.

Aw.

-Aw!
-[laughs]

-[in Japanese] His smile is really nice.
-[in Japanese] Yes, it is.

Please come visit us again.

[laughs]

[in Japanese] Yes, I'd like to!

This is super impressive
that he's done this.

It is. It is. Most of my friends, they...
They couldn't really say, like, "Hey,

like, this is my boyfriend and I'm gay."
Like, you know, it's just too...

-Direct.
-Too direct!

It was such a nice dinner.

[chuckles]

Really good.

[in Japanese] Thank you for the meal.
Thank you. It was delicious.

I do not think that this could have gone
like any better.

Right, I agree.

-Thank you.
-Arigato gozaimasu.

Arigato gozaimasu.

-[in Japanese] See you later!
-[in Japanese] See you. Bye!

-[in Japanese] We're going that way.
-[Tomoe in Japanese] Okay.

[sighs]

[Kan in Japanese] So much fun!

[Antoni] They're holding hands!

Aw!

[Karamo] It is a very slippery slope

always worrying about what other people
are thinking about you.

The only truth is
what you believe about yourself.

Hey! [chuckles]

Hey!
[laughs]

-Miki-chan! Miki!
-[laughs]

[in Japanese] Oh, my God,
you look amazing!

[Jonathan] We live in a world
that celebrates conformity.

Choosing to love yourself is so against
the grain of what we're taught, honey.

You are a rebel, honey,
if you choose to love yourself.

Let's all be rebels!

[Kan in Japanese]
I want the current gaybies to follow

their own path.

Others may say something
about the difference,

the special thing about you.

But don't get swayed by their opinions

and just listen to your own voice.

[in Japanese] Kan! Out and proud!

-Kanpai!
-[cheering]

q*eer EYE
ASKING THE JAPANESE AUDIENCE

HOW DO YOU USE CHOPSTICKS?

Kiko, I want to use chopsticks,
but I don't know how!

Okay. Let me teach you.

First, hold the chopsticks like a pencil.

And put this chopstick
between your thumb and your index finger

then support with your ring finger.
And move the top, not the bottom.

Oh, my God! This is how you were supposed
to be doing it this entire time?

Yeah.

-I think I got.
-Okay. Let's go.

[gasps] Oh!

[grunts]

[laughs hysterically]

-[gasps] I got it!
-[gasps]