04x02 - WTF!: Wrestling's Trashiest Fighters

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "RuPaul's Drag Race". Aired: February 2, 2009 – present.*
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RuPaul plays the role of host, mentor, and head judge for this series, as contestants are given different challenges each week.
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04x02 - WTF!: Wrestling's Trashiest Fighters

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- Previously

on RuPaul's Drag Race...

you'll need to survive

the biggest drag disaster

of all time.

The Rupocalypse.

- [screams]

- Ooh, sh*t,

it's falling apart.

- Jiggly's costume

is a hot mess.

- Jiggly Caliente...

Lashauwn Beyond...

The Princess, Sharon Needles.

- This is my kind of ghoul.

- Con-drag-ulations.

You are the winner

of this challenge.

- Thank you.

- I'm just in disbelief

that I'm here.

- Bitch, you're here.

- Yeah, honey, you better snap

out of it.

Play to win.

Jiggly Caliente,

shantay, you stay.

- Thank you.

- Alisa Summers, sashay away.

And tonight...

you'll be transforming

yourselves into wrestling's

trashiest fighters.

The dolls throw down...

- Get out.

- You're fake-ass hoes.

Get out of here.

[audience oohing]

- And take flight.

- Chicago, bitch.

[screaming]

- With extra-special

guest judges

NBA stars Rick Fox

and John Salley.

[cheers]

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

will receive a lifetime supply

of NYX cosmetics, a

one-of-a-kind trip courtesy of

ALandCHUCK.travel, headline

Logo's Drag Race tour, featuring

Absolut vodka:

cocktails perfected,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

And may the best woman win.

- A gorgeous day.

- Good morning, cluckers.

- We walk in the work room this

morning, and we see Alisa's

message, and it's kind of sad.

I mean, it was official.

Week by week, we're all going to

be going home.

- "Keep it cute, ladies!

"Shady sisters 4-ever!

Love, Alisa."

- Look what you've done.

- That's what you've done, baby.

- It was either her or me,

and I was not going home.

- Let's take a vote.

Can we switch Jiggly for Alisa?

- Yeah, I agree.

- Whoo!

[laughter]

- Being in the bottom two

shook me.

I feel like there's a target

on the back of my head.

And all these b*tches are trying

to assassinate me.

So nervous now.

'Cause now I have to really

prove myself.

- Well, can I give you

a piece of advice?

Just really try to stay

more focused

on the competition.

Like, don't...

- I know.

- It was, like...I thought

that I was focused.

I feel like I have to claw

and dig my way

back to the top.

- So you're feeling good

about your win?

- Oh, I'm feeling fantastic

about my win.

- You f*cking rocked it.

It was kind of made for you.

- I know.

I'm such a natural loser

that it was very odd for me

to win a challenge.

I'm the freak queen,

and back home,

I'm kind of like

the laughingstock

of the drag community.

And I'm not

used to winning anything.

So it's exciting,

but at the same time,

it's really humbling.

- They're calling you the silent

k*ller, bitch, because

everybody thought you were gonna

win the challenge.

- I mean, I did think I was

gonna win,

but I understand

why I didn't win.

- Well, after she had said...

- I'm too quiet.

- Yeah, you're too quiet, bitch.

- I was quiet because I was

trying to focus.

My strategy isn't gonna change,

because I know that I prepared

a package to b*at these girls.

So, I mean, I'm fine.

- Speak up, Lashauwn.

- Can everybody hear me?

- Fly away.

[siren wails]

[all oohing]

- Girl, you got she-mail.

[cheers]

Hello, dolls.

all: Hi.

- I've come to pump you up.

And I don't mean your lips.

So get ready to b*at your mug,

pummel the runway, and fight for

the spotlight.

It's time for some necessary

roughness.

But, remember, just anything

but the face.

I'll get the money, mister.

Just don't hurt my face, please.

[applause]

Hello, hello, hello.

- RuPaul!

- Hi.

[cheers and applause]

Now, ladies, as you know,

padding is the foundation

of drag.

A queen's girlish figure

depends on it.

For today's mini challenge, I

want you to make an ass

of yourself.

Literally. Oh, pit crew.

- Whoo!

- You have 30 minutes to put

all this junk in your trunk.

I'm dividing you

into three groups.

And the one queen from each

group with the juiciest ass

will win.

Ready, set, style.

[exclamations and shouting]

- Don't kick over my packing

peanuts.

- I make fierce pads, but this

ain't how I usually make my

pads, y'all.

- 30 minutes is not enough.

You need at least a good hour

to even start making pads.

- When making your ass, always

draw the shape of Africa.

- That's it.

- Or, as Latrice would say,

the homeland.

- [giggles]

I'm Polynesian, bitch.

Get it straight, honey.

- I thought we were doing an

athletic challenge,

so I'm in a jock.

Sorry about it.

- Okay, lady-kins, time's up.

All right.

Apple bottoms.

Now Jiggly is serving cellulite

realness.

[laughter]

- Yeah, that's how realness is.

- Now walk that ass.

Bottoms up.

Shake it, don't break it.

Phi Phi O'Hara, now that's what

I call a power bottom.

Seems like your pants are coming

down, Madame.

- [screams]

[laughter]

- Madame.

- Next up, the ghetto booties.

Make it pop. Now walk.

- Hips don't lie.

But that ass do.

Girl, can I get some fries

with that shake?

[laughter]

Damn.

- I had a proper ghetto booty,

and I was the only one wearing

lipstick.

- Next up, the badonkadonks.

- A badonkadonk booty, it's

like a whole bunch of

donkadonkadonkadonkadadadada...

- Now walk.

Ass everywhere, ass everywhere.

Ass everywhere.

Ooh, two scoops.

Ladies, all y'all

is sassy assassins.

But three of you really

k*lled it.

The winners of this mini

challenge are...

Miss Phi Phi O'Hara...

[cheers]

Miss Willam...

[applause]

Miss Chad Michaels.

- Hey.

- Con-drag-ulations.

If I were you, I'd hold on tight

to my padded ass, because, for

this week's main challenge,

you'll be transforming

yourselves into wrestling's

trashiest fighters...the luscious

ladies of the WTF.

- Yes!

- Whoo-hoo.

- I am a big bitch.

Who is gonna outwrestle me?

Nobody.

- Oh, my god.

I am not athletic at all.

- This week, you'll need to

flex your charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent to become

over-the-top wrestling

characters.

You will compete in teams.

Phi Phi O'Hara, Willam,

Chad Michaels, since you won the

mini challenge,

you are team captains.

You get to pick your queens,

starting with Phi Phi.

- I'd have to go with Latrice.

- Yes.

- Dida.

- I will take Milan.

- Yeah.

- Come on down, baby.

- Kenya.

- [growls]

- Princess.

- Miss Needles.

- I am a knockout.

[laughter]

Uh, ow.

- I didn't want Jiggly or

Madame LaQueer because they're

always complaining that their

feet hurt or they don't want to

do active stuff.

Lashauwn.

- [growls]

- There we go.

- All right, Willam, it's

between Jiggly and

Madame LaQueer.

- I'm just praying, "Please pick

me, pick me, pick me,

pick me, pick me."

- Jiggly.

- [grunts]

- Yes!

- Wah!

[laughter and applause]

- All right, so that means

that Chad gets Madame LaQueer.

- It feels kind of weird

being, like, the last picked.

You know, the weird boy, but

I'm used to it, though.

- Each team needs to decide

which two will play the

heroines, or the faces, and

which two will play the

villains, or the heels.

In a moment, you'll meet three

pros who will coach you in the

art of wrestling.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win!

- Let's do a script.

- Mama, you got a dream team

here.

- I know.

That's why I picked it.

- There's something very

important.

I had a previous injury

in my right ankle.

I hurt my right ankle

doing a show.

I didn't saw the step, and my

ankle goes click, and suddenly

I couldn't walk.

- Are you gonna be okay, I

mean, like, with your ankle?

- Don't worry about my ankle.

- I am gonna worry about it,

because it's important.

If your ankle's hurting and you

can't do something, you need to

let me know, because I can't

read your mind.

- I'm so happy with this team.

- I know. I'm excited.

- This challenge includes a lot

of steps.

We have to come up with a back

story, looks, costumes,

moves, everything.

I'm really good with falls and

being, like, stunted.

I do stairs. I can do anything.

I'm really excited because I

usually play people who get b*at

up, and I got my ass kicked on

every major network.

- And we just make sure that

we...attitude, attitude,

attitude.

- Wrestling isn't my thing.

I'm not a violent person.

So I'm a little concerned.

- We are gonna ace this,

you guys.

We gon' kick their ass.

- So our challenge is to become

wrestlers.

We're the first team to go up

and practice.

I see three humungous dudes just

going at each other.

Oh, my god. This is real.

- [whimpers]

- I'm "Hollywood's Own"

Joey Ryan.

- Yo soy Hector "El Chido"

Canales.

- I'm Mr. K.O.S.

"King of Submission"

Ryan Taylor.

- Let's now get into a little

bit of the choreography.

Go ahead and throw her

onto Ryan.

- Oh.

- You're gonna catch her and

fall.

- This bitch heavy.

- And then you fall

on your back.

- Oh, my god.

- Fall, bitch.

- As safely as possible.

- Oh, my god.

- I'm worried Lashauwn's not

gonna actually get the concept

of what she has to do here.

Come on, girl. Come on.

- [speaks indistinctly]

- [whimpers]

- [growls]

- Everyone in my group's

personality is so loud...

[yells]

And I'm not really like that.

I'm really quiet and soft.

Oh.

[laughter]

- My god, Latrice.

- We're gonna show you

some strikes to the gut.

- [grunts]

- The big reaction is his sell.

And your sell will be here

and to the camera.

- All right.

I'm an actor.

I've been on TV a lot.

I'm cool. I can do it.

[grunting]

- Pop off, bitch!

- And I did.

I sold it.

I get a People's Choice.

- So the bad guys make their

entrance, they cannot care less

about the audience, right?

Make us hate you.

- Be yourself.

- I got this.

This is cake. f*ck y'all.

I don't give a sh*t.

New York, m*therf*ckers.

Brooklyn!

- Jiggly was very aggressive.

- f*ck y'all.

I've got this sh*t.

- And I was like, girl, take it

down a notch.

- New York, baby.

- I'm not from New York.

- Oh...

- And you were good too.

Princess is giving

closed-captioning,

while she's in stereo.

- Okay, you guys.

Exaggerate, okay?

Like, "Aah!"

Loud. Noise.

- Ahh!

- Larger than that.

- What the hell was that?

- I'm worried about Princess

because she's quiet.

I'm going "Rah! NY, baby!

This is..."

And she's like...

[mumbling indistinctly ]

And I'm like, "Huh?"

- We're gonna demonstrate some

holds for you.

Some wrestling moves for you.

We were thinking of a body slam.

- [laughs]

- Do any of you guys

have a problem with that?

- I'm a little worried

about the physical

extremities of this challenge.

- Let's have you try that

to her.

- Okay. All right.

Come on, Mrs. Ed,

with that horse face of yours.

- Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop a second. Stop.

Stop a second. Stop a second.

Stop a second. Stop a second.

You don't want to pick...

- Like a baby.

- Yeah.

- Oh, come on, Grandma.

Oh, my God!

Let me go.

[both grunting]

RuPaul once famously said

that drag

is not a contact sport.

Apparently, she's gone back

on her word.

[coughing]

- From there, we're gonna have

you give her

the airplane spin,

which they're gonna demonstrate

right now.

- It's a very fun...

- Okay.

- I'm concerned that something

could happen with my ankle and

making our team lose.

I have a lot

to be nervous about.

- All right, come on, Madame.

My damn face is sick

of looking at you.

- [grunting]

- Oh. Oh!

- Get her up.

- Put me down.

- Take your time. Slow.

- Jeez Louise.

- Ugh.

- Sorry.

- Ouch.

- You okay?

- I'm nervous about Madame

LaQueer.

She's not as physical as the

rest of us.

She really has to push, push,

and push through it.

- Ouch.

- Y'all got enough sewing

machines over there?

Y'all look like a sweat shop.

- I'm sorry, but did you see

Willam's outfit?

- Yeah.

- Phi Phi's gonna like me

eventually.

I know it.

I think her and I should just

unite with mutual enemies.

- [scoffs]

- I mean, it's just easier

to go after ugly people,

but, I mean, the ugly people

are gonna be gone

soon enough anyway.

- Okay, well, then who's

the ugly people?

- Well, not me.

- Hello.

- Hello, hello, hello.

all: Hi.

- Well, team Phi Phi O'Hara...

- Yes.

- Which team is the faces?

- It would be me and Lashauwn.

- So, of course, these two

are the heels.

What is your story?

- They gave us the wrong

treatment, and we grew beards

instead, and we're a little

bitter about that.

- Are you actually gonna

be wearing beards?

- Yes.

- You know, that concerns me a

little bit, because the luscious

ladies of the WTF need to be

beautiful.

- I think our story will get

across, and it's not that they...

- But you're not the one who's

gonna be looking hideous,

are you, darling?

People watch wrestling because

they want to be excited, they

want to be turned on.

They want beauty.

Now, Lashauwn, can you give me

a little taste of what your good

guy says?

- "Oh, I'm gonna kick your ass."

- In wrestling, the good guys

are just as loud and obnoxious

as the bad guys.

Is it fair to say that you're

still working on it,

you haven't...

- Yeah, we are

still working on it.

I mean, yeah, we are.

- I'm gonna let you

get back to it.

All right.

- Bye, Ru.

- Team Willam, what's going on?

Who on your team are the faces?

[laughs]

Now what are your costumes

gonna be like?

Was that something that you made

or you already had?

- We just embellished

on top of it.

- Oh, I see.

- And I'm embellishing on top

of mine as well.

- Jiggly, you took some heat

last week for your costume.

- Yeah.

- You know, we are looking for

the luscious ladies of the WTF.

- Oh, I'll be luscious.

I'm not trying to be in that

bottom two again.

- Gather around, dolls.

Now, tomorrow at the WTF

main event,

we'll be joined by our

extra-special guest judges...

NBA champions Rick Fox

and John Salley.

[cheers and applause]

- I think I'll tuck extra-tight

for Rick Fox and John Salley.

- Now, remember, safety first.

But, whatever you do,

don't f*ck it up.

all: Bye, Ru.

- Whoo.

[cheers]

- Ladies and gentlemen, are you

ready to experience a female

phenomenon?

[cheers]

Bring on the glamazons!

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, my god, can you believe

those Bitter Betties

came in here to ask us for help?

And I even let them use, like,

my really good hair products.

- That product?

- Yeah.

- That's the hair-growing tonic.

- [speaks native language]

- You...look what you did

to her hair.

- Are you upset because you

can't handle all this fishiness?

- Your plastic hair and your

plastic tits

and your plastic ass.

We'll handle you.

We'll get in the ring.

- Bring it. Bring it on.

- Come on, girls. Come on.

[cheers]

[rock music]

- Mess with these nasty girls

and you'll end up with a bad

taste in your mouth.

Give it up for Latrice

"The Beast"

and "k*ller" Kenya,

the Bitter Betties.

- Ooh.

[booing]

Go.

- Give it up for L.A.'s finest,

Lashauwn "The Blonde"

and Phi Phi "Fierce."

- The crowd was chanting and

all the signs had our names

everywhere.

It felt so good.

I was ready to b*at those

b*tches down.

[bell clinks]

- You're so pretty.

[exclamations]

- Ooh.

- Whoa!

[booing]

[cheers and applause]

- Get up!

- [speaks Spanish]

- Um, honey, I don't speak

Spanish.

[booing]

- I want to teach you Spanish

right now.

Puta!

[exclamations]

[screaming]

- Oh, hell, no.

- [shouts]

- Now I'm gonna show you how

to really b*at a mug, bitch.

[screaming]

[booing]

Let me go! Let me go!

[screams]

[overlapping statements]

[screaming]

[exclamations]

[shrieking]

[bell rings]

[booing]

- Bitter, bitter pill

to swallow.

The Bitter Betties win.

[booing]

- Those other teams

better watch out

because, me and my girls,

we kicked ass.

[booing]

- Touch this skin, honey.

They can't take it.

- Mm-mm. They're overgrown...

both: Orangutans.

- Speaking of orangutans.

- What are you doing in our

dressing room?

- We know it's your dressing

room, as tacky as it is,

like y'all two b*tches.

both: Tacky?

- Oh, no, honey, we don't want

to go there.

We saw you two

in Coach Carter's office.

- Oh, so that's how we got

kicked out of school?

'Cause of y'all b*tches?

- Get out.

- You're fake-ass hoes.

Get out of here.

[cheers and applause]

- Tuck and cover...

- Shut up!

- Get the f*ck out of here.

- For "Pucker Up" Princess

and "J-Train" Jiggly,

the Thunder Booties.

Get on the wrong side of these

sexy scissor sisters, and

they'll cut you...

Willamina "Hater"

and Dida "Diddles".

They're DWF.

- Come on, bitch.

[booing]

[bell clinks]

- Get 'em, girl.

- You plus-sized jujube.

- Oh, please.

[exclamations]

- Come on, bitch.

[exclamations]

- I'm giving it all, balls to

the wall, badass, crazy,

wrestler bitch.

- Whoop her ass.

[cheers]

- Get her!

- [yells]

- The Princess, she's not going

as crazy as I am.

So if I get in the bottom two

because of this bitch, it ain't

gonna be cute.

[shouting]

What?

- It's not fair.

[indistinct shouting]

That's not fair!

- Sumo smash!

[exclamations]

- And thank you.

[bell rings]

- The winner is Thunder Booties.

- Team Willam

put on a g*dd*mn show.

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, Milan "LaModel", I have

to be honest with you.

I woke up with an itch down

there,

an itch in my pubic hair.

- I've got snatch-scratch

fever too.

- But forget about

this bitch of an itch.

Look who it is.

It's the Bitch Kickers.

- What's up there, Knockouts?

How's it hanging,

scratch 'n' sniff?

- [speaks nonsense]

- They must have gotten our

special delivery we sent in

when we banged their boyfriends.

- [chatters nonsense]

Boink, boink.

- Oh, my god.

- That's right, LaQueer.

- Those Bitch Kickers.

Oh, those cheap, terrible girls.

[cheers and applause]

- Serving face with a side of

whoop-ass.

Give it up for Sharon "Shocker"

and Milan "LaModel"...

the Knockouts.

Don't hate these girls because

they're beautiful.

[booing]

- Shut your pie hole, you slut.

- Hate them because

they're b*tches.

- You want some of this?

We got plenty for you too.

- Chadarella "Chainsaw" Michaels

and Madame "LaCrush"...

the Bitch Kickers.

[bell clinks]

- You skinny little

blonde bimbo.

You can run, but you can't hide.

- All right, well, I'm fast

as a butterfly...

[exclamations]

No!

[booing]

[coughs]

- I am a little bit worried

about Madame LaQueer 's ankle.

I mean, you're the captain

of the ship,

you're going down

with the ship.

- All right, Kirstie Alley

before Dancing with the Stars.

[exclamations]

[shouts indistinctly]

This is not in my contract!

- If my ankle hurted, I forgot

about everything.

I was Madame "LaCrush"

in that moment.

[cheers and applause]

- Joan Jett called.

She wants her wig back.

[exclamations]

[shouting]

[crowd chanting indistinctly]

- You're mine now, baby!

I'm gonna hit you

in your visage.

[crowd chanting "USA"]

- No one hits my sister!

Why?

Because I'm sickening, bitch!

[cheers]

- Chicago, bitch!

[shouting]

[cheers and applause]

[bell rings]

- Okay.

- The Knockouts have won!

[cheers and applause]

- We might have been slightly

sloppy,

but I think our team created

the best characters.

[cheers and applause]

- Yay.

- Miss Cheesecake.

It's elimination day, and

everyone's really anxious right

now to find out how they did in

the wrestling challenge.

I think we have a really good

sh*t at winning.

- I hope.

- I'm just worried.

- What are you worried about?

You did great.

You were so funny.

Were you unpleased with anything

when you left the ring

yesterday?

- With me, no.

I am kind of iffy

about Princess.

It is a competition, and, they

don't like one thing, the whole

team goes on...

it's a team challenge.

- That energy you're giving off

is bringing everybody else down.

Girl, I cannot be bothered

right now.

- Are you nervous today?

- You know what, I am a little

bit nervous.

You might feel some sort of kind

of way, and you could be dead

wrong.

- Mm-hmm.

- Thinking you sickening bitch

and talented bitch,

and they be like, "wah-wah-wah."

- I'm a little nervous to see

what the judges think about me

in the ring.

I did my best, but you never

know what they're gonna say.

- You sew for all the girls

back at home?

Like, the girls.

The girls the girls.

- Just girls like you.

By me sewing so much, I don't

really get a chance

to even be in drag myself.

- Uh-huh.

- So it's like I missed

my drag childhood.

- Ha ha.

- So that's why the competition

is perfect for me, 'cause I'm

just filling in for what I

missed out on.

- That's sickening, 'cause you

definitely

about to make up

for some lost time.

- Ooh.

- Hey-hey, that's what you get.

The ultimate drag boot camp

of life.

- Madame, what does your family

think about you doing drag?

- I'm not close to my family

at all.

My family, for me, are my

friends.

They're the best friends

in the whole world.

Baby, don't. It's okay, mami.

- We're selfish and vain

creatures of beauty, and isn't

it bizarre how we make the best

friends in the world?

- [laughs maniacally]

- Hey, guys.

- Hey, baby.

- Welcome to the main stage of

RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage, my tag team

sister.

- I got a full nelson for you

right here, mama.

- [chuckles]

Billy B, welcome home.

- Thanks, Ru.

- Are you wrestling

with something?

- Not since I was trying to get

my wallet back

from Michelle in the back.

- [chuckles]

Hey, Rick Fox, what did you

think of my girls?

- I was impressed.

Think there was a lot of fight.

- Good. And John Salley.

- Hello, Ru.

- BK in the house.

[laughter]

I'm so glad you're here.

This week, our queens were

challenged to hit the mats as

the luscious ladies of the WTF.

Tonight, I've asked them all

to come decked out in their best

girly-girl attire.

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win!

First up, Kenya Michaels.

Gorgeous.

You know, lil' Kim only wishes.

- It's a pink Monday.

- I love the runway.

I feel amazing

because I love to walk.

- Now that is a living doll.

- Mary-Kate Minaj.

Lashauwn Beyond.

She melts in your mouth,

not in your hand.

- Got a penny? She's got a ball.

- [laughs]

- I'm serving bubble gum

yum-yum,

just having fun being

flirty, pretty, going girly

beyond.

- I'd like to stick a quarter

in her slot.

- Where is her slot anyway?

- Sharon Needles.

- Ooh.

The lost Arquette sister.

- Oh, wow, she's doing femme.

She got an injection of beauty.

- Playing girly-ish, bouncy,

and sexy is just something

really foreign to me.

Just want to show the judges

that I could bring beauty

to the stage

in this competition.

- Mwah.

For your consideration,

Jiggly Caliente.

- Kimora lee Simmons

has put on some weight.

- You're jiggling, girl.

- I'm serving banjee girl

meets sweet 16, very new York.

- It's Jiggly 's quinceanara.

London, Paris, Milan.

I see London, I see France, I

see Milan 's underpants.

- I am feeling like black Barbie

meets a valley girl.

But, because John Salley is

there, I'd rather

be the Salley girl.

- Once she gets pumping,

it's hard to make the body stop.

- Madame LaQueer.

Representing Puerto Rico.

- [speaks Spanish]

She's working the asymmetrical

hairdo.

- Or a hair show in Mississippi.

- I feel great.

I feel like I'm floating.

I think is the most beautiful

I've looked

throughout all the competitions.

- Where there's smoke,

there's a p*ssy on fire.

[laughter]

- This is why I love this show.

- Dida Ritz.

- I thought

it was P. Diddy's mom.

- [laughs]

- Janice Combs.

- I'm giving fish, I'm giving

face, I'm giving you vogue.

I know my runway is fierce.

- Look at those legs.

My good...and they go

all the way up.

- They do? Are you sure?

- Yeah.

- They're not wooden?

- Chad Michaels.

Lady "chadderley".

Oh, my goodness, the world

according to Paris.

- Paris Hilton,

where are they now?

- I'm serving up girly-girl

realness fish on a stick.

I kind of look just like

a yummy little cupcake.

- Heidi Montag called.

She wants her old body back.

The Princess.

She had a little time

for a quick blowout

before she came out.

- It's a windstorm backstage,

I'm thinking.

- Yes, yes.

- The look I'm going for is

very rock star

meets little girl.

I am so pumped

for my look today.

- Rock on.

- It's like there's something

about The Princess.

- [laughs]

- Up next, Phi Phi O'Hara.

- Telemundo.

- Telenovela realness.

- I was showing

a little bit of skin

and giving them dragged-out

Miami housewife.

- Ooh, her legs are like peanut

butter...easy to spread.

Latrice Royale.

Ooh, crown Royale.

I'll have one on the rocks.

- I am feeling good and

looking gorgeous, darling.

Pretty in pink.

I was very pleased.

- Star Jones called.

She wants her old body back.

- She can't have it.

It's otherwise preoccupied.

- Allegedly.

[laughter]

Next up, Willam.

- Hey.

- Wow.

Look at those shoes.

- My look for today

is rich bitch mistress.

I'm serving girly-girl on a

platter to go,

sauce on the side.

- Look how her outfit

accentuates her sugar walk.

- Toddlers and Tiaras,

where are they now?

- I think she's Tanya Tucker.

My girls.

You look smashing.

Yesterday, you changed the face

of professional wrestling

forever.

I smell a spin-off.

But one group in particular

really smacked down

the competition.

The winning WTF team is...

Team Chad Michaels.

- Whoo!

- Jesus.

[laughter]

- Thank you, Ru.

- Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

But two divas stole the show.

Madame LaQueer, Chad Michaels.

- The Bitch Kickers.

- Good job, ladies.

- You are both the winners of

this week's challenge.

You'll receive a selection of

wigs from Risque Wigs.

- Oh, my god, I feel so great.

I certainly actually proved them

wrong about having

picking me last.

- However, neither of you will

receive immunity next week.

Team Chad Michaels, you may

leave the stage.

Ladies, it's time for the

judges' critiques.

First up, Willam.

Hey, mama.

- Hi.

- Did everything turn out

the way you had planned?

- I think our moves kicked ass.

- Oh, I thought the competition

was weak in the ring.

The faces she was giving us

just didn't seem believable.

It was fake.

- Wait a minute.

Wrestling is not fake.

- No, that wrestling was fake.

- Thank you, Willam.

Next up, Dida Ritz.

Now why'd you choose this

as your girly look?

- I'm really channeling

Carrie Bradshaw,

so I thought downtown

New York, very chic.

- In the ring, you had,

you know,

the girl that sort of walked

around the ring thing perfect,

better than you had

the wrestling down.

- Thank you, Dida.

The Princess.

- I'm a fan from the hair

to the dress.

I think I bought that dress

for my daughter.

- I disagree. I hate your hair.

I think it looks

like a bad hair show.

- As far as the performance

goes, we didn't see any of the

rebel that I know you are.

- I'm a very Zen person.

Just know that

that was me really trying.

- Try harder.

- All right,

let's go to Jiggly Caliente.

May I call you Jiggly?

- Of course you can, Ru.

- How'd you feel on the runway?

- I felt so cute.

The lollipop in my mouth,

door knockers in my ears.

- The lollipop was more

interesting for me

than what you're doing

style-wise.

- And tell me about in the ring.

- It was very energetic

and over the top.

- Jiggly, what was the hardest

part of this challenge?

- The thing is, Princess is very

Zen, she's very quiet.

We needed to be, like, crazy,

badass b*tches.

- It's hard,

when you're in a team,

and you're trying to make up

for both of you.

- Thank you, Jiggly.

Next up, Phi Phi O'Hara.

- Hi.

- You were reading older

than you have to.

You could be younger

and more modern.

- I'm watching you, Phi Phi.

I love you.

I think you're gorgeous,

and in the ring,

you were freakin' hi-lar-i-ous.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, Phi Phi.

Lashauwn Beyond.

- Hi, Ru.

- How are your balls?

- My balls are great.

- On the runway,

the gumball machine

told me exactly what

those balls were doing

on your chest.

- Better than on her chin.

- Ha!

- I couldn't disagree more.

Your hair and your makeup,

you look like

a backup singer for

Luther Vandross in 1988.

- Rick Fox, what'd you think?

The ring?

- It's not memorable enough

for me.

I would have liked

a little more story

and color to the character.

- Next up, Kenya Michaels.

- Hola.

- I thought it was Nicki Minaj.

I'm not joking you.

Except she doesn't have the ass

of Nicki or the money.

- What about as a wrestler?

As "k*ller" Kenya?

- It was like it was

Biggie Smalls and lil' Kim

all over again.

Baby, baby.

- [laughs]

- You look like a star, you

look modern, you look

fashionable, and I think you're

the one to b*at.

- Thank you.

- Latrice Royale.

- Hello, Ru.

- Shag-quille O'Neal Latrice.

- [laughs]

- You set the tone for the

whole afternoon.

- Oh!

- You had me at splat.

- [laughs]

Thank you, Latrice.

Well, ladies, I think we've

heard enough.

While you girls untuck in the

Interior Illusions Lounge, the

judges and I will deliberate.

You may leave the stage.

All right, just between us

brothers and brother-lovers...

- Thank you.

- Let's start with Willam.

- I think Willam is extremely

fierce and extremely talented

and very freakin' funny.

But I also think there's

a borderline of smarminess.

I think there might

be an attitude in there

that can get in the way.

- She seemed like a team captain

that didn't lead.

- I think she did a good job

of leading.

I don't feel that The Princess

did a good job of following.

- All right, let's talk

about The Princess.

- Her performance

was really flat.

- I kind of thought

there was a rock star in there.

- She's not charismatic enough

to be a rock star.

- Dida Ritz.

- She's pretty.

It's just the wigs are not

styled, they're not done.

- You know, she was going

for Sex and the City,

and it was more like

Sex in the Alley.

- Oh, okay.

Well, I'm not gonna turn

that down either.

- [laughs]

- Jiggly Caliente.

- In the ring, she uses

everything she has.

I thought that was an outfit

until I realized that was really

her belly.

- [laughs]

Phi Phi O'Hara.

- I don't know what's under

all that makeup,

but she doesn't

paint herself pretty.

- I know she's heavy-handed

on the makeup, but hey...

who isn't?

- [laughs]

Lashauwn Beyond.

Now, it was remarked that

Lashauwn's personality

was kind of shy.

- She'll get out of that shyness

when she realizes it doesn't get

her anywhere.

- She's a mess.

And her personality is like a...

Like a brick.

- All right, Kenya Michaels.

Little Puerto Rican sweetheart.

- She's half the size

of any of them

with double or triple

everything else.

There was nothing wrong.

- Her performance was flawless

as well.

I thought she did a great job

as "k*ller" Kenya.

- Latrice Royale.

- She owned that role

in the ring.

It was hard for anyone else

to do better than that.

- I was very happy with her,

and I do really like her

and her personality.

So she's gonna be fun to watch.

- All right, silence.

Bring back my girls.

Welcome back, ladies.

Based on your presentation

in the main ring

and on the main stage,

I've made some decisions.

Latrice Royale, Kenya Michaels,

Phi Phi O'Hara,

you ladies jumped

on this wrestling challenge

and came out on top.

You are all safe.

- Thank you.

- You may leave the stage.

Jiggly Caliente,

we want to know,

is there more to you than just

a queen from the 'hood?

You are safe.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- You may join the other girls.

The Princess.

You were channeling pink,

but your performance was beige.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you are

up for elimination.

- I'm shocked.

My outfit was on it today,

whether Billy B

liked my hair or not.

And I worked my ass off

yesterday in the ring.

There's no reason why I should

have been in the bottom two.

- Willam...

you're safe.

- Bye.

- Lashauwn Beyond,

as a wrestler, you were more

mumble than rumble.

Dida Ritz, your Sex and the City

couture

does not deserve a sequel.

Dida Ritz...

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Lashauwn Beyond, I'm sorry,

my dear, but you are up

for elimination.

- My whole body started pumping.

I'm nervous because I want

to stay in the competition

and I know this dictates

if I will or not.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me and save

yourself from elimination.

The time has come to lip-sync

for your life.

- I'm pretty amazing,

and I'm ready to show it.

Bring it on.

- Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

- ♪ Hey, beep beep ♪

♪ Bad girls ♪

♪ Talking about the sad girls ♪

♪ Sad girls ♪

♪ Talking 'bout bad girls ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- I want to show Ru that I can

give more personality.

It's not over yet.

I'm not ready to go.

- ♪ Now you and me ♪

♪ We're both the same ♪

- ♪ Both the same ♪

- ♪ But you call yourself ♪

♪ By a different names ♪

- ♪ Different name ♪

- ♪ Now your mama

won't like it ♪

♪ When she finds out ♪

- ♪ Finds out ♪

- I'm telling myself, soak up

this moment right now.

Live in it.

Balls to the wall do it.

- ♪ Toot-toot ♪

♪ Hey,

beep-beep ♪

- To do the whole song with

no shoes in closed-toed

pantyhose like a web-footed

duck, Lashauwn 's drag mother's

gonna read him for not even

starting the song in shoes.

- ♪ So you want

to spend some time ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Beep beep ♪

♪ Talkin' 'bout bad girls ♪

♪ Beep beep ♪

♪ Toot toot ♪

♪ Haa ♪

♪ Beep beep ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies...

I've made my decision.

The Princess...

Shantay, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

Lashauwn...

you are a young queen.

May this experience lift you

to new heights above and beyond.

Now sashay away.

- Thank you.

It's bittersweet, but...

I'm happy for me to be so young

and I've only been doing it for

such a short amount of time.

Some of these girls

being 40 and 50

and so...it was sickening.

- Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love

somebody else?

Can I get amen up in here?

all: Amen!

- All right, let the music play!
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