03x05 - QNN News

[bunniefuu]

- Previously

on RuPaul's Drag Race...

It's time to get totally

leotarded!

- Sha! Sha!

[speaking Spanish]

- Stretch...

- [exhaling rhythmically]

- Alexis, you are the winner.

Stacy, we feel

you are holding back.

But you're safe for now.

- I'll bring it.

- Ladies, this is your last

chance to impress me.

- Bitch, step it up.

You gotta make sure

that you're always

the one that's in front.

- Mimi Imfurst.

Drag is not a contact sport.

India Ferrah, shantay, you stay.

- Whoo!

- And tonight...

Escandalo!

The dolls hit the red carpet.

- Ohh! Ha ha!

- And things get steamy.

- Oh! Ohh!

- With extra-special

guest judges

Chloe Sevigny

and Debbie Matenopoulos.

The winner of RuPaul's Drag Race

will receive

a lifetime supply

of Kryolan Professional makeup;

headline Logo's Drag Race Tour,

featuring cocktails

perfected by Absolut;

and a cash prize of $75,000.

And may the best woman win!

[car engines racing]

- Another day.

- Good morning.

- Life is too short to lift

someone else.

- Girl, y'all gonna lift me.

[laughter]

- Being in the bottom two,

it's a very serious thing.

It kind of like lit a light bulb

in my head.

I have to, like, fight harder

now, so...

- Speaking of fighting.

[laughs]

When Mimi lifted you up,

I was like,

y'all didn't have to grab me.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause you know I was ready

to come out there.

I was coming out in my ponytail

and everything.

- I know everyone expected me

to, like,

punch her or something,

when she did that.

No, I'm not a violent person.

I just gotta go on,

focus on the competition

and what I have to do.

- Oh, so now you competin'.

- Now I'm gonna kick you...

- Oh, so now I gotta go home.

Alliances in this competition

are very important.

India is someone that

I can share some tea with

and not think it's gonna

come back around to me

from another mouth.

- Girl, I'm just, you know,

hoping I can wear something that

I don't have to wear

my breast plate with.

- And that we don't have to sew.

- Thank god I don't have big

flower patterns anymore.

- Listen,

be strong in your opinions.

Say you don't have another

chance,

so you better bring it

every time you get out there.

- They wanna see who I am.

Miss Visage said she didn't know

if I'm a bitch,

if I'm a sweetheart.

- She doesn't know

your personality.

- Mm-hmm.

- What is your personality?

Do I need to know?

[laughs]

[siren blares]

- Ooh, girl!

You've got shemail.

Today's drag queen on the go

needs to stay abreast

of current events,

whether she tweets, blogs,

or just talks smack

behind some t-girl's back.

Remember, an informed queen

is a winning queen,

and that's the way it is.

Good night, and good tuck.

[laughing]

[all groan]

Hello, hello, hello.

[all cheer]

To make it today, young stars

have to be in control

of their public image.

For this week's mini-challenge,

you need to create

a quick drag look

for an outrageous photo op

on the red carpet.

You have ten minutes

to pull it together

before the photographers from

Polite in Public arrive.

The two queens that create

the most sensational

paparazzi photo

will win this mini-challenge.

Ready, set...

Escandalo!

[laughing]

- Drag, girls!

- Ooh, scandal!

- The first thing I think about

is, like, the crotch sh*t.

In order to create a fake vag,

it's all about the way that you

tuck and fold your skin.

I noticed Shangela was kind of

doing something similar.

I could put on a pair of

pantyhose and put on some fuzz,

you know, but this is,

like, real.

It's like a double take.

- All right, here we go.

- Oh!

- You're gonna get

three pictures.

- Okay.

- Make them count.

Are you ready?

- Yes!

- Okay, one, two, three.

Doggie-style.

All right.

Yes.

- I'm just so pandalicious.

- Oh, you're a panda!

- Oh, wow.

That's a Carrera

I'd like to drive.

- So is it okay that my face

is not gonna be in the frame?

I mean, 'cause it's about here.

- Yeah, whatever you wanna do.

And I appreciate you sharing

your inner dialogue,

but we're gonna take that

picture right now.

- Okay.

- One, two, three!

Girl, you put the junk

in junket.

- India Ferrah is here.

Yes, Miss Jackson

if you're nasty,

you better

put that nipple away.

Scandal!

Yes, take that, Harvey Levin.

Wow, look at the size

of that rock.

And that ring's not bad, either.

Ooh, that was scandalous.

- Kind of basing this off

real life, a little bit.

- You have a similar story?

- We won't...

we'll talk about it later.

- Fantastic.

- Hey, Shakira.

Uno, dos, tres!

Escandalo.

The red bow tie really dresses

that outfit up.

Something tells me your tuck's

gonna come undone.

- Let's just make sure that

doesn't happen.

We need a plug.

[laughter]

- Oh, my goodness.

Did you forget something?

- Yes, my bra.

- [laughing]

- Yabba dabba don't.

Oh, girl.

- Can we like...bloob is out?

- Yes, I love it. I love it.

Fantastic.

Nobody said you can't do that.

[southern accent]

One, two, three.

It's nipple-gate!

- Ohh!

- [laughing]

- I'm giving him hairy coochie

and toilet tissue shoe.

You don't think you would

double-click?

Aah!

- Now, I reviewed

your scandalous photos,

and I'm proud to say

you all are whores!

[laughter]

Now, news travels fast.

So to see which two queens

have hit the blogs,

let's go to the WOW Report.

Carmen Carrera

is one of our winners.

- Oh, my god.

[laughing]

I look crazy.

- For the next winner,

let's go to newnownext.com.

[all whoop]

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

- Oh, my god, you know,

finally my fat ass

has won something.

So these b*tches better

watch the f*ck out.

- Condragulations.

You are the queens

of morning television.

all: Ooh.

- For today's main challenge,

you'll split into two teams

to broadcast

a morning news show.

Each team consists of

two co-anchors,

a weather girl, a gossip gal,

and a roving reporter,

who'll be interviewing

celebrity guest

Kristin Cavallari.

all: Ohh.

- Carmen and Stacy,

you are our team captains.

Stacy, you get to pick first.

- I just hope Stacy

don't pick me.

Because that team is going to

crash and burn.

- Alexis.

- Manila.

- Ooh!

- Shangela.

- Ooh.

- Mm, Raja.

- Come on, girl, that's it.

- Yara Sofia.

- Delta Work.

- India and Mariah are

the two girls left standing.

- Mariah Carey.

- Me?

- Is she here?

- India Ferrah,

you are on Carmen's team.

- I end up with India.

She was in the bottom

last challenge,

and I don't want to

have to baby anybody.

- These are your news teams.

You will broadcasting live.

- What?

- Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best newswoman win.

- I would like to be...glossy.

Just serious but funny

at the same time.

- Okay.

- You know what I mean?

- Are we gonna take this, like,

more on a serious note?

- I don't know...what,

you're the team leader.

You tell me.

Is it gonna be like fun-serious

or fun, like spoof?

- We gonna have to figure out

this as a team.

Right now,

Stacy is actually clueless.

- I'm gonna be

the gossip reporter,

because I love to

f*ckin' gossip.

- News anchor one

is gonna be Raja.

News anchor two

is going to be...

Delta.

Who wants to do weather girl?

No one wants to be weather girl.

But I don't really see it

for India to be interviewer,

because India can get boring

sometimes.

You're gonna be

the roving reporter.

- Okay, work.

I'll do the interview.

- Weather girl

is gonna be India.

- So I end up with weather girl,

and, honestly, I'm hating it.

But what kind of weather girl?

What should I wear?

- Let's just do a quickie,

just so we get used to it.

- Live from the QNN news center,

I'm Raja Fantaja.

- I'm Carmen Carrera,

and I've got all the tea

in my kiki report.

- Weather girl.

- Oh, is it me now?

- I'm worried for India

a little bit.

- Hey, uh, does anyone know

how much time we have?

- We have like

an hour and a half or so.

- Our main challenge

is to split into two teams

and create a morning news show.

- Remember this?

- Oh, with a bow on it.

- Yeah, this is

my newscaster look.

- Yeah, mine's kind of

muted too,

so that'll look good.

Delta and I have

a great dynamic together

and a chemistry.

So we knew that the banter

was going to be great.

- So what do you think?

What do you got?

- Yeah, I have no clue.

- I've got this.

It's a little skirt and jacket.

- Oh, yeah, that'll work.

Right?

- Is that, like, too bright?

- No, we're drag queens, honey.

- I feel that India

is a little bit

more concerned about her outfit

rather than her character

and knowing her lines.

Last time

she didn't do so good,

so it's like now I want her

to really prove herself.

I really want her to do well.

- I-I don't understand this one.

Like, just how nippy...

can you say this for me?

- Nippy, it's like cold.

- No, I know, I know.

But it's...

- It's getting a bit nippy

out there.

- I asked Stacy if

I could be the weather girl.

Even though speaking English

is kind of difficult.

- Hell, no, storm brewing

deep in the heart of Texas.

- Um, um, Shangela, could you...

- I can say it in Spanish.

- I'm listening to Yara

actually deliver her lines,

and I'm getting a little

worried, you know.

I picked this bitch

for a reason.

She better deliver.

- Hello, hello, hello!

all: Hi.

- So, Carmen,

you're a team captain again.

- Yeah.

- So what roles did you assign?

- Well, I'm gonna be

the gossip girl.

- Okay.

- We're gonna have Manila

interview.

- What is your interview style?

- I'm kind of channeling, like,

the best queens of interview.

- Like who?

- Like Mario Lopez

or Ryan Seacrest.

- Ah, okay, I love it.

[laughter]

- Raja is anchor one.

- Have you ever done

any anchoring before?

Any teleprompter?

- No, but I've pretended

quite a bit when I'm alone.

[laughter]

- And then we have Delta's

anch...uh, anchor two.

- From the desert to the sea,

to wherever there's tea.

- [laughing]

Is that your tagline?

- That's our tagline.

- I love it!

That's perfect.

- [singsong]

Bo-ring.

- Mm-hmm.

- Um, we're gonna have India

as the weather girl.

That may be the hardest part.

- Yes, it might be.

But, you know, I'm kind of going

with a little ghetto twist.

- Uh-huh.

- You know,

because you gotta be like,

"Girl, you know, it's gettin'

sunny outside, so..."

- That's you being ghetto?

- Yeah.

- [laughing] Oh, that's...

Well, I can't wait.

I know you all

have a lot of work to do,

a lot of makeup to put on.

I'm gonna let you get to work.

- The opening, the opening.

I love the opening.

- Okay.

- Well, hello,

team Stacy Layne Matthews.

all: Hi.

- How's it going?

- It's going great, honey.

- So who's who?

- Yara is our, um, weather girl.

- Okay.

- You know miss Shangela,

honey, she's our own

gossip columnist.

- Okay.

- This is my sidekick,

reporter number two.

And this is our roving reporter.

- How are you faring

as a team leader?

- I think I'm doing good, and,

you know, we all just organizing

things, you know, and it's...

- You said we all organizing.

You're organizing,

or we all organizing?

- We're working as a group.

- So now, you've made yourself

one of the anchors, right?

- Yes.

- You got some criticism

from the judge panel

that you weren't, you know,

you're not really the most

outrageous person on the planet.

- I can be.

- I'm...we wanna see that.

- Being from a small town,

it just sets me apart

from the other competition,

because I'm a little rough

around the edges.

I'm not as polished

as the other girls,

but, you know, I represent.

- Now, Yara, you're gonna be

working on a green screen.

Practice with me.

If the map of the United States

was behind you,

where is Florida?

- Florida's right here.

- Yeah.

Where's Maine?

- Maine?

- Maine.

- Where is Maine?

- Uh, now, where's New York?

- Um, right there.

- Yes.

And where's the North Pole?

- Ah, over there.

[laughter]

- Now, Alexis, you're gonna be

reading off of a teleprompter.

Do you feel comfortable

with that?

- I just gonna hope

that I do very well.

This is gonna be

a learning experience.

- Now, Mariah, you're gonna be

the roving reporter.

- Yes, I get to interview

Kristin.

I'm going to first start out

with where she's from.

Touch base on, you know,

her achievements

on film and television,

and then I also

want to touch base

on some of her charitable works.

- How much time do you have?

- Three minutes.

- Three minutes

is not a lot of time.

- I have an outline,

and I have base points

to touch on,

and I'm gonna get to

every single one of those,

and they lead to

the next question.

- Right, this is really about

your own personality.

That's really

what we want to see.

Ladies, to help you get your

charisma, uniqueness,

nerve, and talent

ready for morning television,

you'll be receiving

a crash course in media training

by veteran broadcaster

Debbie Matenopoulos.

[all gasp]

You know her from The View.

- Bitch, we find out

that miss Debbie,

honey, from The View

is gonna be giving us feedback

about our performances.

I mean, this sh*t is, like,

serious and exciting, honey.

And I cannot wait to hear

what this bitch has got to say.

- All right, news flash:

Don't f*ck it up.

- Okay.

- I'll see you all later.

All right.

all: Thank you.

- Thanks for the tip.

[upbeat music]

- Team Stacy Layne Matthews

has entered the news room.

Say hello to

Debbie Matenopoulos.

all: Hi, Debbie, how are you?

- Hi, you gorgeous creatures.

- Now, Debbie's here

to walk you through

some of the technical aspects

of being in a news room.

And then we are going

all the way live.

Three, two, one.

- This just in:

Scientists have announced a cure

for hetosexural...

heterosexuality.

I've never, you know,

been in front of a teleprompter.

Slow that sh*t down.

I got to read.

- Side effects include diarrhea,

sudden baldness,

and an uncro...

uncontrollable urge

to dress age inappropriately.

- Wow, that's a great discovery,

girl.

- Yes, honey.

- Yes.

- You two are the main anchors.

You have to set the tone.

So at the top of a show,

be up, up, up.

- Hey, Yara Sofia,

how are things looking

out there today?

- Down here, there is a...

hurricane carnage.

Oh!

It's just right there.

There's a barometric dropping.

Oh! Ohh!

Almost b*rned my ass.

Oh, my god.

- Girl!

You forced me to believe

everything you said,

although I didn't

understand a word.

Slow down or don't even speak

a word of English.

- Now

it's Shangela Laquifa Wadley.

- Now, listen, the next

drag superstar wannabes

Carmen Carrera

and Stacy Layne Matthews

were the talk of the town

after creating a huge scene

last night on the red carpet.

Honey, it was escandalo!

Yara Sofia, escandalo?

Honey chile, yes.

That's right.

- You were giving me

the attitude

that you knew exactly

what you were doing.

You were sailing the ship.

I could take a note

or two from you.

- I'm here with

Kristin Cavallari.

So...so...

all the scandal.

Around the town

with Justin Brody,

and you have Shawn...

- Justin Bobby.

- Justin Bobby.

But you've been spotted

with Nick as well.

- Who?

- Uh, Corzone.

Am I saying his name wrong?

- Nick Carzone.

- I had some facts that I didn't

have completely together.

- There are times where I have

had my facts completely wrong.

And it's okay,

as long as you can recover.

- Okay.

- Oh, my god, look at the time.

We're almost on the air!

places, people!

Places!

- It's time to go live,

and I was so scared

about my English.

And how I can deliver

my personality.

- Count it down in three, two...

- Live from the QNN news center,

Stacy Layne Matthews...

Alexis Mateo...

Yara Sofia...

Shangela Laquifa Wadley...

and Mariah.

The QNN Morning After News

starts now.

- Live from the QNN news center,

I'm Stacy Matthews.

Just in, scientists

have announced a cure

for heterosexuality.

- I am so glad that pill

just came out.

- Yes, girl.

- We're suffering

here in United States.

- Honey.

- It's time to check in

with our Drag-U-weather.

- What's going on?

Ohh!

It is raining men down there!

[speaking Spanish]

Okay! Rainbow right here!

Oh, my god, that's so gay.

But it's so good.

That's a wrap on the weather,

I'm Yara Sofia.

- Let me just say, I do think

"It's so good, but it's so gay"

is my new favorite phrase.

I love that, Yara.

Listen, honey, let me tell you.

Which A-list action hunk

is finally

coming out of the closet?

I'll just tell you this:

He's so gay, and he's so good.

Listen, it's

Shangela Laquifa Wadley,

and that's your daily

kiki report.

Back to you, Stacy and Alexis.

- Mariah, over to you, honey.

- Hi, ladies.

Good morning.

I'm here, Mariah,

with Kristin Cavallari.

So are you working

on any new projects?

- I'm working on

a shoe line right now,

which I'm really excited about.

- Oh, perfect.

I'm excited about that too.

So, were you really born

a genetic woman?

- [laughs]

I was, yes.

- Oh, darn, girls.

We can't claim her for our team.

So, back to you

in the news room, QNN.

- Well, that's all

for the Morning After News.

Stay tuned for the same news,

different anchors.

- All right, that's a wrap.

- Welcome, team Carmen!

Cock-a-doodle-doo!

It's time for the morning news!

- Pour yourself

another cup of ambition,

because this is

the Morning After News.

- Today's breaking story:

We'll have the latest on

that horrific freak accident

that k*lled so many innocent

little people last night.

- Loosen up some.

You two are the anchors,

and you have to drive the ship,

but you also wanna be likable.

- It's Carmen Carrera.

- Next drag superstar wannabes

Carmen Carrera

and Stacy Layne Matthews

were the talk of the town

after creating a huge scene

on the red carpet last night.

I didn't even know I was there!

- Performance is a little bit

flat.

- In Provincetown...

Massachusetts...

I'm like, "Girl, just like,

pictures what, like,

Al Roker would do."

There is the barometric

pressure.

It's dropping.

- The weather people

are the personality.

They have carte blanche to be,

"Girl!"

I'm still waiting for your

personality to come through.

India, this is the time.

- Manila, over to you.

- [Asian accent]

Thank you, Delta.

So...Kristin...

you were on two hit TV show!

Tell us, how has that

changed your life?

- It just made me move

up to L.A. and pursue acting.

- What year you born?

- Uh, '87.

- Oh! Me too.

You are the cock.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Rooster, rooster.

- [laughing]

- When you weren't pronouncing

your Ls and your Rs,

I thought

it was a terrible decision.

But, you know what?

That never hurt Barbara Walters.

It's time for the morning news.

We are going live.

- I'm very nervous

before the broadcast,

because this team

is depending on me to do good.

So I'm just like, "Ugh."

- I'm gonna count it down...

in three, two, one.

- Live from the QNN news center,

Raja...

Delta Work...

India Ferrah...

Carmen Carrera...

and Manila Luzon.

The QNN Morning After News

starts now.

- Live from the QNN news center,

I am Raja.

- And I'm Delta Work.

- Lookin' sexy.

- So do you.

I love you in pink.

- Thanks.

- [gasps]

- Now let's go to the gal

with all the gossip,

it's Carmen Carrera.

- Ugh, I have so much tea

for you.

Which A-list action hunk

is finally

coming out of the closet?

Well, let's just say

he was at my house last night.

both: Ooh!

- Well, it's time to check in

with our Drag-U-weather girl.

Hey, India, how are things

looking out there today?

- Now...deep in the heart

of Texas, y'all...

y'all feelin' me?

There is a hell no storm.

Okay?

In the heartland,

a rainbow has appeared

in the Gayville

of South Dakota.

This is India Ferrah

with Drag-U-weather.

Back to you, Raja and Delta.

- Thanks, weather grr.

Manila, over to you.

- [Asian accent]

Kristin!

Now that the final episode

of The Hills has aired,

what's next?

- Right now,

I'm really focusing

on my shoe line

that I'm designing.

- Oh, shoes.

I love shoes.

- I think every girl

loves shoes.

- You don't have boyfriend?

- I don't, I'm single.

- Ooh, I have brother.

You should hook up with him.

You should marry.

Immigration.

Lots of money.

- [laughing]

- Back to you in the studio,

Raja and Delta.

- From the desert to the sea

to wherever there's tea,

I'm Delta Work.

We hope the rest of your day

is a big ol' drag.

- Ladies, your newscasts

will be played for the judges

tomorrow night

on the main stage,

where we will be joined

by our guest judge,

Academy-Award-nominated actress,

from HBO's Big Love,

Chloe Sevigny.

[all gasp]

- I love Chloe.

Not only is she

an amazing actress,

but she's a fashion icon

at this point.

- So come decked out in your

most fabulous drag looks.

On behalf

of Debbie Matenopoulos,

I'm RuPaul,

and we'll see you tomorrow.

- Can I come in?

- No.

- We're back

in the workroom today,

and we have to put together

our fiercest drag look.

- How do you think our team did?

- I think our team is great.

I think we're not gonna

have a problem with that.

- I'm a little nervous.

I mean, if our news piece comes

out really shitty,

it's gonna be on me.

- I feel confident that we all,

on our team, did a good job.

- Change the subject.

I don't want to talk about this

anymore.

[laughter]

- India.

- What's up?

What went down on y'all's team

yesterday?

Everything went good

except for

the run-through with me

with the weather girl.

- Who else was on your team?

- Carmen.

- She's your team captain,

though, right?

Well, if you want to call it

that.

I'm just calling it like it is.

Carmen's only strategy was just

for her to pick her part.

I think she should be more like,

"Bitch, we need to win

this challenge.

Like, let's practice.

Let's get our roles down."

But you know, she just went on

about her business.

Bitch, I got stuck

with the weather girl.

Looking, trying

to read cue cards,

pushing this button,

trying to point at the map.

My performance yesterday

was horrible, you know.

I feel like I'm gonna be in

the bottom two again, honestly.

Like, I don't think

I stepped up my game,

and I'll see what happens.

Never again, bitch.

I'm not cut out

to be weather girl.

- For today's

runway presentation,

we actually have to bring

our most fabulous

drag-tastic outfits.

I need to get to my glue g*n.

Ugh!

I have so much to do.

I do not want to be the one

lipsynching for my life.

Okay...Stacy.

- I actually overheard her

saying that I f*cked it up.

- Do you think you did good

in this challenge?

- I think I did all right.

Let's be honest.

I f*cked it up.

I did.

I'm very nervous that I'm

going to be in the bottom two

and have to lip-synch

for my life

and probably go home.

- My home girl, Miss Stacy.

Now, you know we're two

country girls.

But Alexis and I were both

engaged in pageant life,

and more so than pageants,

we're performers.

Would you ever compete

in a pageant, Raja?

- It's not my thing.

My name is Raja, so...

I can't do that.

I'm way too rock and roll.

- First thing

out of her mouth was,

"I don't do all that

'do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.'"

That's a stereotype.

- We don't smile

like Miss America.

Like, it's all about personality

and what you...who you are.

- The whole pageant thing

is really new to me.

We don't have that

in California.

- We do.

I'm the current California

Entertainer of the Year.

- Shangela is California

Miss EOY, honey,

and she is really passionate

about that.

She definitely let us all know.

- I've been in California

working it longer than you have.

- I adore Shangela,

but when I see

that little glimpse of,

like, entitlement, when you've

only been doing drag for...

minutes,

I don't think it's cool.

I think you have to be

an artist.

- It sounds to me

like you're saying

that people

who compete in pageants

aren't performance artists.

- Oh, stop it, Shangela.

I didn't say that.

- I'm listening.

- How is it your art form

if you're doing the art

under somebody else's rules?

- Thank you.

- You can defend her

'cause it's your best friend.

- I'm defending her

because she's right.

Shangela decided that

when you start talking

about a pageant,

you're attacking her.

- Girl, it's like

the West Side Story.

b*tches is like, "Ha, ha, ha!"

- It's not part of

our drag culture, though.

I think this is

a really new thing.

- Well, then y'all

defeated yourself already.

- No, I don't want to be

in a pageant.

No, but what if...

- Wait, time out.

Yeah, you're right, Raja.

- That's the performance

I wanted to do, what if...

- You're getting real

confrontational with me,

but I'm just saying other people

could do unique forms of art,

and they could also win.

- That was kind of heated.

- [laughing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, gorgeous lady.

- Hey, guys.

Welcome to the main stage

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Hey, Michelle.

How you doing?

- Good, gorgeous.

How are you?

- I'm doing wonderful.

It's gonna be a great show.

Makeup superstar Billy B

is here.

Hi, Billy.

- Hey, Ru.

- Debbie Matenopoulos.

- Hey, girl.

- Chloe Sevigny.

Hey, Scorpio sister.

- Hello.

- I'm feeling very Scorpio

tonight.

- Good.

I'm a double Scorpio.

So watch out.

[laughter]

- Now, for this week's

challenge,

our queens went live,

serving up morning newscast

realness.

Are you ready to take a little

time to enjoy this view?

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

First up, Delta Work.

[all gasp]

- Look out, Darryl Hannah.

She's makin' a splash.

- I think today

I'm just channeling,

like, Mae West or something.

Like, maybe it's like

Sally Kirkland,

like that, on the red carpet.

- We found Nemo.

- Yes!

Up next, Shangela.

Donatella would approve.

- As I'm coming down the runway,

I feel "wind" with me.

It's like that Beyoncé feel,

where everywhere you go

you've got wind.

- Sell the garment.

- Go 'head, go 'head, girl.

- Fly, butterfly.

Carmen Carrera.

What could she be reading about?

- I handmade that whole thing.

So I'm just hoping

nothing falls off.

There's no strap to my top,

so if that comes off,

then it's like you guys

are gonna see my titties.

- Who says the newspaper

industry is dead?

Mariah.

- She wore blue velvet.

- Feel like

I have a fabulous look.

It's clean, it's elegant.

- I love that gown.

- I'm getting Vanessa Williams

from this too.

- Oh, yes.

- Alexis Mateo.

Wow!

- Cha-cha.

- I'm just giving RuPaul

a lot of personality,

and being very cha-cha,

very Latina.

- Turn the...

- Charo!

- Go ahead, Charo.

- All we need is a trapeze.

- Ohh! Whoo!

Ooh.

- India Ferrah.

This is her more tasteful

sister.

I'm giving a little glamorous

India, you know?

Kind of old Hollywood.

I don't have my breastplate on,

because, you know,

I'm showing them

a versatile side of me.

- She's a lady.

- She's giving

a little bit of Ginger

from Gilligan's island.

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

all: Wow.

- It's very Mad Max.

- I'm in this lovely dress, and

the first thing I think about

is, "Smile, bitch."

They're really enjoying it,

because they haven't seen

this side of me before.

- I feel like she has

a puppy on her head.

- Is that a puppy on her head?

- Manila Luzon.

all: Ohh!

- Is that a b*mb?

Everybody down!

- I'm just swaying my hips

and smiling

and showing off my purse

and having a gay old time.

- Did you, Tina Knowles,

a real pineapple?

- Honey, it's a T.K.O.

- You better work.

- Tina Knowles original.

- Yara Sofia!

- Oh, my goodness.

- Qu'est que c'est?

- Something wicked

this way comes.

- I'm bringing hairy horns,

the cape, and I take it off.

- [gasps]

Look at the body.

- She says, "Carmen Carrera,

you're not the only one."

- Yes.

- Hunty.

- Drive this.

Last but not least, Raja.

all: Ohh...

- It's fashion week.

- There's your Westwood,

right there.

- I'm really, really inspired

by things rococo

and Marie Antoinette.

All things sort of French.

- Let them eat cake!

- Anna Wintour will run that

in the spring issue.

- Gaultier,

remember who did that?

- We've got our cover.

- For sure.

- Yeah.

- Ladies,

I asked you to dazzle us,

and dazzle you did.

After this week's

main challenge,

morning television

will never be the same.

You hear that, Kathie Lee?

Earlier, the judges screened

your full live newscasts.

Now, ladies, I have

a little news for you.

Alexis Mateo,

you have immunity this week.

Raja, Yara Sofia,

Carmen Carrera, Delta Work.

You're all safe.

You may leave the stage.

- Thank you.

- Ladies, the five of you

represent the best and the worst

of this week.

It's time

for the judges' critiques.

Let's start with Manila.

- As over-the-top

as the performance was,

I really enjoyed it.

- Kristin Cavallari,

my brother, ho fun.

- I literally cried.

I mean, I thought that it was

brilliant on so many levels.

- Manila was a star tonight.

- Thank you.

- With that type of thing,

it cannot be half-assed.

And you went completely there,

did not break character.

It was fantastic.

But as far as the look goes,

it's absolutely flawless.

- It was so wrong...

that it was so right.

And truthfully, if you're

gonna be groundbreaking,

some eggs have gotta be broken

to make an omelet.

- If someone watching tonight

were offended by what you did,

how would you answer to that?

- I don't think we have enough

Asian people in pop culture.

So I'm here to entertain.

I'm here to be farcical.

And just trying to do my job.

- All right, next up, Shangela.

- The accessories

might have been

a little over-the-top

for my taste.

Maybe one of the bracelets

would have worked better.

- I think that it could be

a little bit less eye makeup.

- I loved this look tonight

for you.

I thought it was very pretty,

very sassy.

Not so much stuff lighting up

and lanterns

and this, that,

and the other thing.

You know, gossip on the radio

is my thing,

and you served it.

You did a great, great job.

- You could tomorrow

go to any local show

in this market in los Angeles

and say, "I wanna do your

entertainment news on a Friday;

take a sh*t on me,"

and I think they'd have

a hard time telling you no.

- What I saw in that broadcast

is what...the potential I saw

in your audition.

And I'm very proud of you, mama.

India Ferrah.

What was it like broadcasting

live as our weather girl?

- I had so much confusion

going on.

I didn't know where to go.

Cue cards were on the sides.

Like, I was lost, definitely.

- When India came out, I was

very impressed with her grace

and posture.

But the dress not so much.

- It was you reciting

what they told you to say.

And I think it did fall flat.

- What I wanted to see

was more of you.

- I wanna know what's keeping

you from bustin' out?

- Honestly, I don't know.

I don't know

if it's nervousness...

- I don't know what to tell you,

but the time to jump on it

is yesterday.

Next up,

the queen we call Mariah.

- I think she's stunning.

I mean, absolutely beautiful.

I think if I saw you, I'd think

you were a real woman.

I mean, you could give Naomi

a run for her money,

you know, on any catwalk.

- But Naomi would probably

throw a phone at her.

- I would catch it

and throw it back.

- Thank you.

- When the interviewing process

started,

I was getting

a little concerned,

and then it turned

for the better.

- So you're better known

for The Hills.

- Mm-hmm.

- But you're becoming

quite the man-eater.

- Mariah, you are what we call

a grower, not a shower.

When the interviewing process

started,

I was getting

a little concerned,

and then it turned

for the better.

But I thought

you looked stunning.

- I agree with

what Michelle said.

However, they don't give you

a second sh*t.

Three, two, one,

the camera's on...

it's sink or swim, right now,

'cause nobody cares...it's live.

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

- When she first came out,

I thought maybe she had a little

Yorkie on her head.

The hair was very confusing

to me.

- So, now, Chloe, are you saying

you're a Yorkie lover?

Is that what you're saying?

- I actually don't like animals.

[laughter]

- I love the way you look.

Know what I loved most of all?

Your smile, honey.

You lit up tonight.

- On the broadcast,

you did put a lot of thought

into it.

Almost too much.

You got so into

trying so hard

to memorize and memorize

that you forgot to be you.

- There seems to be something

blocking you

from completely blooming

in this competition.

- After thinking everything over

last night,

I feel like I lifted something

from myself.

And I'm ready to work.

I'm ready to show you

who Stacy is.

- Well, you said that last week,

Stacy.

Thank you, ladies.

While you untuck in the

Interior Illusions Lounge,

the judges and I

will deliberate.

Thank you, ladies.

You may leave the stage.

All right, just between us

gar-girls,

what do you think?

Let's start with Manila.

- The makeup to me

was a little heavy.

- Yes, the makeup was heavy,

but I don't know.

There's just something

about Manila tonight

that was a win-win situation

for me.

- I love Manila,

because I agree she's fearless,

and she's an equal opportunity

offender.

That doesn't mean you're r*cist.

You hate everybody,

including your own race.

Then it's funny.

- 'Cause if you can't

hate yourself,

how in the hell you gonna

hate anybody else?

- I say it all the time.

- All right, up next...

Shangela.

This is a tough one, 'cause she

did a really good job too.

- She impressed me, you know,

in all aspects.

And I think her personality

really showed through.

- I wasn't 100% sold

on the dress this evening,

but I loved the character.

She did a great job with it.

- Her personality

jumped through the television

and just tugged at your heart.

I just...I really...I wanted to go

have lunch with her.

- India Ferrah.

- It was hard to watch.

- It was hard to watch.

- Yeah. I feel for the girl,

but I wasn't impressed.

- She has the gift of us telling

her exactly what to do.

And she's still not doing it.

- Good point.

- I thought the dress

was horrible.

I thought the performance

was horrible.

I thought the makeup

was horrible.

This is $75,000

and a huge title.

- Yes, absolutely.

Mariah.

Listen, I gotta admit,

her performances do leave me

a little flat.

- She looked like

a professional journalist,

but acted like it was

a school project in ATL.

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

Every time she gets up here,

she's saying, "I'm gonna start

bein' me tomorrow!"

Chloe, do you believe her?

- Not if she keeps saying it.

- And she keeps saying it.

- Watching the newscaster,

I did not see anything

spectacular brought to it.

Did not see a character.

- Maybe that's her idea

of how bland newscasters are.

- It could be.

- And how boring a job

that would be.

Because she did look like a

woman walking at the mall.

- She looked like just a lady

on the number 110 bus uptown,

to me.

- The first thing I thought was,

"That looks like the newscaster

in Tupelo, Mississippi."

- It's true.

- All right, silence!

I've made my decision.

Bring back the girls.

- Welcome back, ladies.

Based on your live

morning newscast

and your presentation

on the main stage,

I've made some decisions.

Manila Luzon.

This week,

you broke all the rules.

You crossed the line

of good taste.

And you perpetuated stereotypes.

Congratulations,

you're the winner

of this challenge.

[applause]

Not only are you safe

from next week's elimination,

but you also win a $2,000

gift certificate from Wig USA.

- I'm really excited

that I won this challenge.

I'm proud of myself.

- Shangela,

keep up the good work.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- India Ferrah...

as Khloe Kardashian once said,

"You can lead a horse to water,

but a pencil must be lead."

India, I'm sorry, but you are up

for elimination.

- I am disappointed that I'm

in the bottom two again.

But, you know,

I came here to do a job,

and that was to prove to

everyone that told me

that I couldn't do it

that I can do it.

- Mariah, listen to me, girl.

You are resting on pretty.

And while you rest,

the other girls are gonna

race right past you.

You're safe.

- [whispering]

Thank you.

Good luck.

- Stacy Layne Matthews.

Your brilliance

comes in flashes,

but those moments

are too few and far between.

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- I do not want to go home.

There ain't sh*t

in North Carolina

but cornfields, honey.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me

and to save yourself...

from elimination.

The time has come

for you to lipsync...

for your life.

Good luck.

And don't f*ck it up.

♪ ♪

♪ I had to leave my condo ♪

♪ To come to this ♪

♪ Well, I'm back ♪

♪ But this time, with my man ♪

♪ And these women are putting ♪

♪ Their hands all over ♪

♪ His Yamamoto Kansai sweater ♪

♪ That I bought ♪

♪ And I'm much, much unhappy ♪

♪ About that ♪

♪ I'd hate to come down to ♪

♪ Their level and become a BW ♪

♪ A basic woman ♪

♪ But if it don't stop ♪

♪ It's gonna get scandalous ♪

♪ Uh-oh ♪

- I had this mentality,

you know,

just be fierce, be a bitch,

give attitude.

Give everything that they need

to keep me in this competition.

- ♪ You wanna be sure ♪

♪ You best go powder your nose ♪

- ♪ Go on and ♪

♪ Powder your nose ♪

♪ 'Cause you wanna look good ♪

♪ When you step on the floor ♪

- I've worked so hard

to get here.

The only thing standing

between me and the finish line

is Stacy Layne Matthews,

and I've gotta

take this bitch down.

- ♪ He looks good ♪

♪ Good enough to eat ♪

♪ But believe me, lady ♪

♪ He belongs to me, yeah ♪

- ♪ Got a meeting ♪

♪ In the ladies room ♪

♪ I'll be back real soon ♪

- Don't slap me.

- [laughing]

- 'Cause I'm not in the mood.

- ♪ Got a meeting ♪

♪ In the ladies room ♪

♪ I'll be back real soon ♪

- [laughing]

[applause]

- Ladies...

that was a close one.

Stacy Layne Matthews.

Shantay, you stay.

- Thank you.

- India Ferrah,

your time at RuPaul's Drag Race

has reached its climax.

But your legendary journey

has just begun.

Now...sashay...away.

- Thank you all.

- Thank you.

[applause]

- I'm definitely disappointed.

Apparently, I'm not

what the judges want.

I'm not comedy.

I'm not camp.

So I'm me, and I'm not gonna

change myself

to fit someone else's standards.

I can't reach it.

[grunting]

Yeah, anyway...

mwah!

- Condragulations, ladies.

I see a lot of incredible talent

on this stage.

But America's next

drag superstar

has yet to emerge.

Remember...

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell

you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get a amen in here?

all: Amen.

- All right,

now let the music play!

- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- RuPaul's menswear provided by

Moods of Norway.