02x07 - Once Upon a Queen

[bunniefuu]

- Previously

on RuPaul's Drag Race...

For the first time ever,

each of you will be singing

live.

[feedback whines]

- This ain't working.

- I think Tatianna definitely

knows she's the weakest one.

- Y'all ready to rock and roll?

- [screaming]

- ♪ This is for my girls... ♪

- This is a Headbanger's Ball.

- [screams]

- [mumbling words]

I am screwing up RuPaul's song

right in front of her face.

- Two queens stand before me.

Jujubee, Shante, you stay.

Sahara Davenport,

sashay away.

And tonight...

Reading is fundamental.

The library is open.

- Oh, Ru, we have a under-grown

orangutan.

- And the dolls get

a real education...

- If you don't know

what a golden shower is,

that's very naive.

- With extra-special

guest judges

best-selling authors

Jackie Collins

and Gigi Levangie Grazer...

And Absolut Vodka's

Jeffrey Moran.

The winner

of RuPaul's Drag Race

will receive a lifetime supply

of Nyx Cosmetics

and be the face

of nyxcosmetics.com,

an exclusive

one-year P.R. contract

with the leading LGBT firm

Project Publicity,

be featured in L.A. Eyeworks'

legendary designer

eyewear campaign,

and headline Logo's

Drag Race Tour,

featuring exceptional

Absolut drinks,

and a cash prize

of $25,000.

And may the best woman win.

- ♪ RuPaul Drag Race ♪

- ♪ Start your engines ♪

- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

- ♪ May the best woman win ♪

- ♪ Ru-Ru-RuPaul Drag Race ♪

- ♪ Start your engines ♪

- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

- ♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ best woman win ♪

[alarm beeps]

- Oh.

- Look at this.

- "Live, love, believe.

Sahara."

It's your fault.

That why she is not here.

- How did it feel to finally

lip-synch for your life?

- I don't want to talk

about that.

Oh, my gosh.

The last challenge I...

sucked.

I never want to lip-synch

for my life ever again...

ever.

- You said you used to do

musicals in high school, right?

- I did.

- How were people with you

in high school?

- I was everybody's friend,

really.

I didn't really have...

- Were you out in high school?

- Yeah, totally.

Like, how...how the hell

am I gonna hide that?

[laughs]

- I got picked on

in high school.

They used to throw papers at me

and stuff.

Everyone referred to me

as "that gay boy James."

- In Spanish,

the word are more bad.

[speaking Spanish]

- You want to hear it

in my language?

- What?

- [speaking native language]

Doesn't that sound dirty?

Imagine being called that

by your uncle.

- Yes.

- Wow.

- When I was young, I...

everybody have fun about me,

because I'm gay.

I want to take dance class

before,

and I can't, because I'm scared

that my mom said,

"My son is gay?"

- I tried to k*ll myself.

- Oh, no, sir.

- I didn't understand.

I didn't know what gay was.

I knew I was totally different.

I felt totally alone.

I hated myself, for,

like, years,

and I thought that, you know,

"Well,

"I'll just take all these pills,

because I don't...

I can't deal with it anymore."

- I was pretty shocked

when Pandora shared

that she attempted su1c1de,

and she was really, really

depressed.

- But there's still,

once in a while,

that little voice that says,

"Oh, no one likes you,"

or, "You're not good enough."

And it's tough.

I mean, I don't think

it ever goes away.

The adversity that

I've gone through being gay

has made me stronger

and really has made me

who I am today,

and I'm really happy

with who I am.

- Can I get a amen up in here?

- Amen.

[siren wails]

- Ooh, girl,

you've got shemail.

[laughs]

Oh.

Hey, racers.

I want to read you

a little story

called Drag Fun

with d*ck and Jane.

"See d*ck.

"See d*ck try on Jane's pumps.

"Strut, d*ck, strut.

"You better work, d*ck.

And they lived 'draggily'

ever after."

Now, that's my kind

of fairy tale.

What's your story?

Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello!

- Hi!

- My exceptional girls.

Now, as drag queens,

we shrug off a lot of insults.

So when we get our chance

to throw an insult,

we turn it into a high art form.

We call it reading,

or throwing shade,

and it's part of our culture.

For today's mini-challenge,

you will read

your fellow queens.

The library is open.

- I don't read people.

- Of course you don't, Tyra,

'cause you're Christian.

Come over here, girl.

Here are your reading glasses.

Now, what I want you to do

is go down the line.

I want you to read

these b*tches.

Read. Starting with Tati.

- Oh, wow.

We have Eminem doing drag, mama.

- Oh.

- Oh, wow.

And standing right next to her...

is that Dumbo flying in?

Oh, mama.

Is this Jujubee?

Darling,

let me get to your level.

- Oh!

- Oh, Ru, we have

a under-grown orangutan.

- Oh, and next to her...

Darling, how old are you?

And the one on the end?

Oh, just look at her, Ru.

Are you going swimming,

or are you doing drag, mama?

What is that?

- Wonderful.

The library is closed.

Tatianna, come on down, honey.

The library is open.

- Ugh. I don't want to do this.

- Go.

Smile for me.

Don't smile.

Do you pick up satellite

with those big ones?

[suspenseful music]

I can't do this.

- Dig deep, darling.

- I just couldn't think of

anything to say.

That's totally not my scene.

I'm lost. I'm gone.

- Tatianna got up there

and froze.

She runs her mouth about people,

but doesn't talk

when she absolutely has to.

I'm shocked

Tatianna's still here.

- The library is now open.

- You think that is big?

You need to see another thing

that I have for you, bitch.

You are so fat, girl.

[laughter]

What are you doing here, mama?

Go back to Chinatown, girl.

You are a gringa, puerca.

- Oh. Oh.

- You, the top model?

When I see your face,

I said [speaks Spanish].

- La biblioteca is closed.

All right, Jujubee.

- I'm not nervous.

I'll read a bitch.

I will read you to filth.

Miss Tyra,

was your barbecue cancelled?

Your grill is f*cked up.

And, Miss Tatianna, Miss honey.

You think you're so soft.

Not by the hairs

of your chinny chin chin.

[laughter]

And let me tell you something,

puerca.

You won't understand this

anyways.

[speaking native language]

Get my gist?

Do ya understand?

Pandora...

Can we talk about sun tanning?

And you!

Legendary, you think you are.

Legendary?

Looks like leg and dairy.

- Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

The library is closed.

Oh.

Okay.

Pandora Boxx.

- Tyra Sanchez,

if you are America's sweetheart,

America needs

a heart transplant.

Tatianna,

all I hear when I put my ear

up to yours is the ocean.

Jessica Wild.

Those drag clothes look like

a donkey funked a pinata

and threw up.

Jujubee,

with that gaping thing

you call an assh*le,

I think I could go spelunking

in there.

- [gasps]

Spelunking.

- Raven, the frosty bitch.

I think I see penguins

circling that pole.

- The library is closed.

Ready for the flavor

of the Raven?

- You got a grill that could

put Black & Decker

out of business.

- Ooh!

- Everyone thinks you're pretty.

I do think you're pretty.

I think you have

a beautiful face...

for radio.

- Oh, oh, ooh, ooh.

- You want to call me

a top model, mami?

Bend over and take it

like a man.

I'll be your top...

model.

- Oh, that's cold.

That's cold.

- Honey,

don't you know a thing about

doing a manicure

and a pedicure?

Fix them hooves, honey.

Pandora,

by the looks of you,

you're going through the change

of life, honey.

- Oh, oh, oh.

She done closed the libraries.

Ooh, child.

I need to duck and cover,

'cause y'all b*tches is throwing

beaucoup shade.

But the winner is...

Jujubee.

- I win! Finally!

- Congratulations, miss thing.

Now, I wanted to take

this moment

to introduce you to

Absolut image czar

Jeffrey Moran.

- Hey, ladies. How are you?

- Hi.

- To be the best,

you have to be daring enough

to do things

a little differently,

and we've done that recently

with a brand-new flavor

that we're gonna debut here...

Berri Acai.

And what we want from you today

is just that.

We want you to be

a little different,

a little exceptional,

because just like you,

we believe that in

an Absolut world,

every cocktail is

an exceptional experience.

- Now, ladies,

"exceptional"

is the word of the week.

Now, I've had the chance

to write two books

about my own

exceptional life experiences,

including my recent book,

Working It:

RuPaul's Guide to Life,

Liberty,

and The Pursuit of Style.

Writing a book is a great way

to let people know

who you really are.

For this week's main challenge,

you need to come up with

your own book,

an autobiography,

that highlights

the most exceptional moments

in your life.

They should shed light on

who you really are.

Now, later on,

you'll be working with

a team of photographers,

Idris and Tony, to create

the perfect book cover.

And I'll be back a little later

to check on your progress.

Gentlemen,

start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

- Jujubee.

- This is my creative

inspiration, okay?

- That's your thinking cap?

- It's my...

it's my thinking hat.

- Our main challenge today

is to come up with a concept

of what our book would be

and then design the cover

for the book.

- This challenge is so different

from all the other challenges,

because it's about us letting

people know who we are.

- I dedicate my book to Beyoncé.

- [laughs]

- This might be the turning

point for some people.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello.

- How's your autobiography,

Miss Jane Pittman?

Do you have a title

for your book?

- The Woman in Me.

- Is this funny? Serious?

- It's more serious.

It's, like, how the woman,

which is Tyra,

helped me, like, get back to

loving people

and understanding people and

allowing people to love me back.

As a teenager,

I made mistakes.

I was out on the streets.

I had a son on the way.

So it was, like,

a little scary.

And to express it and put it out

has been a little challenging.

- Now, the cover of your book,

any ideas?

- I don't have any yet.

- If you want to be

behind this book,

you have to own it here.

Any questions?

- Nope. None.

- Okay.

Hey, Miss Raven.

- Hello.

- Do you have a title

for your book?

- Young, Broke, and Fabulous.

- [gasps]

I love it.

- My favorite chapter is LTR...

long-term relationship.

The long-term relationship

I found

is the relationship with myself.

- Ooh, you're getting close

to home here.

- Yes, girl.

- Well, I would just advise you

to strategize

who you see buying this book.

[both speaking Spanish]

Now, what's your book about?

- A kid.

He always have dreams,

daydreams,

and at the end,

all those dreams

he make come true.

- Well, you know,

there are a lot of dreamers.

I just want to make sure

that the people know

that this book is about

Jessica Wild.

And a gorgeous picture

on the cover.

A title that's kind of funny

to say or cheeky.

So think about those things,

okay?

- All right.

All right.

I'm very worry

about my own thing.

I'm thinking in Spanish and

writing in English,

and I don't have a lot of time

for work on this.

- Hi, Tatianna.

- Hello.

- Tell me the title

of your book.

- It's called Tati:

From Teen Queen

to Drag Superstar.

- Sounds salacious.

- It's about my life

prior to becoming Tatianna.

I started doing drag

when I was 14.

I came out in fifth grade.

- Well, it's a great story.

And a lot of people need to hear

that story.

How are you gonna convey that

on your book cover?

- I just want me on,

like, a big, huge stage.

I absolutely think people can

learn something from my story.

And I might have a little bit

more experience

than other people

give me credit for.

- All right,

so get back to your makeup,

and make a real pretty cover.

- All right.

- All right.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Hey, Pandora.

- Hey.

- So what's the title

of your book?

- Out of the Boxx.

- Hello.

- It's about discovering myself

through dressing up

like somebody else.

- Mm.

- And really kind of finding

your inner strength,

and not listening to that voice

that says

you're not good enough.

There's a couple times that

I had tried to k*ll myself.

- Oh, honey.

Was there a turning point?

- Through theater

and discovering that,

I kind of felt people

that were like me,

and that's when

I discovered drag,

and I started to come out

of my shell

and be more open

and like myself more.

- So you can honestly say,

"drag saved my life."

- Yes.

- I always think of you

as the funny one,

the Goldie Hawn of the group,

and now it's...

it's interesting.

You tell me the story of

your dark night of the soul.

It adds depth to your character.

- I think that with a

lot of people that are funny

and a lot of comedians, there is

some darkness that's there,

because that's what they use to

combat that, was their humor...

- Sure.

- And their laughter.

- It's such a pleasure

to meet you.

I've read all your books.

[both laughing]

What's the title we have there?

- Memoirs of a Gay-sha:

Jujubee's Journey,

and I'm Still Here.

- Jujubee's Journey,

and I'm Still Here.

- My target audience

for my book is gay Asians.

When you're a gay Asian male,

they don't see you as that.

They see you as a woman who

was born into the wrong body.

That's definitely not me.

It basically starts out

with my childhood,

the discovery

of my h*m*.

- Wait a minute. Hold up.

- I know, right?

- Your h*m*?

- I know, girl.

And then I touch on, you know,

like, the loss of my father,

and then my move across America.

- How do you say "fierce"

in Laotian?

- I would just say Juju.

- Juju.

[laughter]

- Juju, huh?

- All right, ladies.

For your main challenge,

in addition to

your book cover photo sh**t,

you'll be doing an interview

with celebrity journalist

Marc Malkin.

This is a really great time for

you to show off your charisma,

uniqueness, nerve,

and talent.

You'll also be judged

on your ability

to seamlessly work in plugs

for your upcoming book,

as well as

the Berri Acai Absolut cocktail.

The more you can plug your book

and the Berri Acai,

the better.

Now, tomorrow on the main stage,

our special guest judges will be

two best- selling authors...

Gigi Levangie Grazer...

and the one and only

Jackie Collins.

Lucky, lucky, lucky b*tches.

- Jackie Collins.

Are you serious?

She embodies what a diva is.

- And to quote

one of my favorite authors...

Don't f*ck it up.

- The main challenge today

is to take photos

for the cover

of our autobiography

and do an interview.

- How you doing?

I'm Idris.

- Tyra.

- Nice to meet you.

- Tony.

- Hi, nice to meet you.

- What would you like to do

today?

- Well, the title of my book

is The Woman in Me.

- They're in charge.

They're supposed to direct us

and tell us their vision.

- It's not just about a dress,

you know,

or how the girl looks.

they've got to commit

to their concept.

- The concept is three pictures

of me...

me holding on to the past,

accepting the present,

and looking towards the future.

I don't know how the other girls

are at photos,

but I'm very photogenic.

- You're melting

under these lights.

- It was burning hot.

All my makeup

started sweating off.

I was like, "Oh, sh*t."

- 30 seconds.

- Tyra's just...

she was melting.

If she were doing a workout book

where you had to be sweaty,

then, yeah,

it would be great.

- I was thinking of taking

the chest that's over there...

- Okay.

- And having me

coming out of it.

- All right.

So let's get the stuff.

- I want my book cover

to be funny,

and my concept is to have myself

coming out of a box.

Lust over me, b*tches.

- Okay.

- All right,

so what are we doing?

- One here, one here.

- Just think about your time.

- If you guys want to,

like, face away,

and then just kind of glancing

over at me like, "Damn."

- Okay.

- Now, how do you want them

looking at you,

'cause right now they're kind of

looking at you

like you're crazy.

- No, like you want me.

[laughter]

I can't look at the pit crew

and direct them,

because I'm supposed to be

looking at the camera.

And they weren't

very cooperative.

So finally I was just, like,

"Get the hell away from me."

- Hello.

- Okay, I want to be sitting

at a yard sale,

and I want to sit

in that pink chair.

I knew my idea

for my book cover.

I'm at a yard sale.

I've got to find the sh*t

and get it together.

I want the award,

the radio,

the bust, and then this phone

right here.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- What's the idea

for the book cover?

- I just want to look good.

- Whatever you want.

- Let's try to work

this sh*t out.

- Okay.

- That's mannish, isn't it?

- You look a little wide.

- Ooh.

- Jujubee could have used her

time more wisely.

She had extra minutes.

- You know, she came

out with one prop,

a fan in her hand,

and half the time,

that fan was on the floor.

What are you thinking about

right now?

- About my dreams.

- It kind of looks like you're

just standing there staring off,

so you really have to think

about all of your dreams

and let that come out.

[camera shutter clicking]

Honey, why don't you think about

something else,

'cause it looks a little...

- All right.

Oh, my God.

I love doing things perfect.

And I think I lost things

from my hands,

you know?

- What were your other ideas?

- What?

- You wanted to use

some other props?

- She kind of came in defeated.

- And if you come in defeated,

then you are defeated.

Think about something that would

pertain to your dreams.

- Can I take it?

- Yeah, of course.

You can take anything you want

from here.

- Nice. There you go.

Believe in it.

- I believe.

- What is this?

This thing is caught

onto my dress,

and I can't take my dress off.

They have to stop my time.

Immediately after photo sh**t,

you have less than five minutes

to change

and get to the interview.

Jessica.

- What?

- Is it okay if I put on your

corset really quick?

- Yeah.

- Now I have more pressure.

Now I have a bigger challenge

to know that I only have

such and such amount of time,

and I need to get this done.

- There was a lot that went into

this challenge.

Tatianna didn't change

her costume at all.

She went straight from her

photo sh**t to her interview.

I didn't really see an effort

in that.

- We need to talk about the book

or about drag life?

- The book and the alcohol

is the main focus.

The two really important things

during the interview

is that we have to pitch

the book

and the Berri Acai

Absolut vodka.

- How do you say

that berry drink?

"Acia"?

Berri Ac...

- It's acai.

- Acai.

- Acai.

- Acai.

- Acai?

A-ca-I.

- Guys, is it "Berri Acai,"

or "acai berry"?

- We're going to have

an interview

with celebrity reporter

Marc Malkin,

and as I sit down in the seat

and there's just a camera

in front of me

and they start to put

the earpiece in,

I realize

this is a satellite interview.

He's not going to be here.

- Oh, my god.

There's nobody here?

And he can see me.

But I can't see him.

- Hi, Raven.

- Hi.

Where's the guy at?

- What's going on?

- Is this via satellite?

- It is satellite.

Why should you win

RuPaul's Drag Race?

- Well, first of all, I'm young,

broke, and fabulous.

My new book

is going to hit stores soon.

- What's this new book?

- It's called Young, Broke,

and Fabulous.

- I have the full package.

I have personality,

I have sense of style,

and I have great, big,

white teeth.

- Why are you better

than the other girls?

- I'm better because I'm

Jessica Wild, and I'm unique.

- Now, with all these

drag queens living toge...

- Oh, I love that Absolut acai.

Oh, my God.

- So how many times have

straight men hit on you?

- Every time I've gone out

in drag,

I've gotten hit on

by a straight guy.

Sometimes I'll be like,

"Back it up.

I'm a dude."

If they're just

giving a compliment,

I just say, "Thank you."

So I must be doing something

right.

- It's so exciting to be a part

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

It's almost as exciting as

my new book, Out of the Boxx.

- The book is called

The Woman in Me.

I know how to love,

know how to give, and celebrate,

like I am with this berry

...drink from Absolut.

- I just got finished

writing a memoir,

and I call it

Memoirs of a Gay-sha.

- Where do you hide your candy?

- There's a lot of candy going

on down here.

It's not true what they say

about Asians, honey.

- Every once in a while,

I'll have a cocktail.

My drink of choice

is the Berri Acai from Absolut.

- Do you always drink

when you're doing media?

- No, it's my first time,

but I love that drink.

- What kind of vodka is it?

- Berri Acai vodka.

- Berry Absolut.

- Berri Acai.

- Tatianna,

thank you for being here.

- Thank you.

And let me tell you

about this beverage.

- Oh, good luck. Got to go.

- The only thing

I might have screwed up on

is not mentioning the book.

But everything else, I felt like

I was...I was on point.

- Jessica,

thanks for being here.

- Thanks,

and I have my new book.

- What was that?

- The name is Jessica Wild:

The Dreams of a Golden Child.

- Fantastic.

Thanks, Jessica.

Good luck.

- I love that drink.

- Hola, hola.

- How your hooves be, Juju?

- How's the leg and dairy?

- Yesterday we had to read

each other.

I actually like

all of the queens that are here,

and to read them,

you kind of have to

make fun of them.

- I'm sure everyone's

had a little inkling

of their feelings hurt.

If anyone was offended,

I'm sorry

that I spoke the truth.

- I wasn't offended.

If you can't laugh at yourself,

then go home.

- It's hard to talk sh*t

about flawlessness.

[laughs]

- Since Morgan's been gone,

Raven all of a sudden decides

that she wants to blossom

verbally.

- Tatianna, did you just

not want to do it?

- No, I just couldn't

stop laughing.

These sparkling 30 years

that she's got behind her,

there's just so much there

that she just can't hold it in.

She's just got to spread it.

- Like, Tatianna froze

and didn't read anyone really.

Do you think they're gonna

look at her and be like,

"What's going on, girl?"

- Raven might have been trying

to rattle my cage.

I think that she's been hoping

that I go from day one.

I did well.

I didn't drop my book.

I got the drink in.

I just completely forgot

about the book.

- Tatianna's an airhead.

She should have been in

the bottom two last week.

All she's been doing

the past couple weeks is this.

Just my opinion.

- Thank you.

- ♪ Cover girl ♪

♪ Put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe ♪

♪ Let your whole body talk ♪

And what?

- Hello, judges.

- Hey, Ru.

- Hey.

- Santino, how are you tonight?

- We're gonna have a great show.

- We are.

- Now, Merle,

are you ready to hear from

our budding authors?

- I'm very, very excited.

- Gigi.

- Hi, Ru.

- Hi, darling.

Now, your most recent novel,

Queen Takes King,

maybe after tonight

you can write a sequel.

- Queen Takes Queen?

- Yeah.

- Okay. Co-write it.

- Done. Done and done.

And my buddy Jackie Collins

is here.

Hi, darling.

- Hi, darling.

- I love the title

of your new book,

Poor Little Bitch Girl.

That's great!

- I should have dedicated it

to you.

- You should have.

And Absolut's image czar,

the exceptional

Jeffrey Moran.

- Hello, darling.

- All right.

Inspired by my new book,

Working It:

RuPaul's Guide to Life,

Liberty, and the Pursuit

of Style,

this week,

the ladies were challenged

to pitch us their autobiography,

design a book cover,

and field questions

from an entertainment reporter.

Tonight they're dressed

to the nines

for their book launch party.

Judges, are you ready

to take a look?

- Ready.

- Ready.

- Gentlemen,

start your engines.

And may the best woman win.

Tyra Sanchez,

the other Tyra.

- The dress that I chose

is very skin-tight.

You can actually see the shape

of my body.

- Is Jennifer Lopez

missing something?

- She is missing something,

and she'll never get it back.

[laughter]

- I know the judges

look forward to me

transforming my look.

- Oh, yes.

Style proper, Sanchez.

[cheers and applause]

Oh!

- No, she didn't.

- Poor little bitch girl.

- I'm glad my boyfriend's

not here.

I would have just lost him

on that one.

[laughter]

- Jujubee.

Now, Gigi,

is this a starter wife?

- That's the finisher wife.

I don't think anyone

would ever leave that.

- I always make eye contact

with every single judge.

It's, like, the complete

opposite of shade.

It's the "hey, hey, hey" look.

- Oh, yes.

Tatianna.

Ooh, it's a jailbreak.

- [gasps]

You know, they say never wear

horizontal stripes

unless you're Tatianna.

- I'm not really super

glammed-out

like the other girls,

but I'm thinking

I look really good.

- Pandora Boxx.

[gasps]

Oh, darling, yes.

She's full of surprises.

- I'm going down the runway,

and I'm thinking glamour.

but, you know,

there's still that element

of fun.

- If Courtney Love looked

like a woman...

- Yes.

Yes, yes, yes.

[laughter]

- Jessica Wild.

- Now, she looks like a heroine

from one of my books.

- Which one, Jackie?

- Lucky Santangelo.

- Jessica Santangelo.

- Today is my party.

I love that dress.

- Jessica Wild

from Puerto Rico.

Raven.

Oh, darling.

That's so not Raven.

[laughter]

- I decided to go with

something

a little more super glam.

I feel like I should be

in Greek mythology,

and they should write a story

about me.

- A star is born again.

- She has a politician lover

on the side.

- Disco scandalous.

Hello, ladies.

My Valley of the Dolls.

Tyra Sanchez,

let's take a look

at your book cover.

Oh, okay.

What's it about?

- My past.

How I held on to it for so long

and held grudges against people.

I was a very, very mean,

arrogant bitch, that...

- And the problem

with that is...?

Let's take a look

at your satellite interview,

where we asked you to promote

not only your book and yourself,

but also the Absolut

Berri Acai cocktail.

- I know how to love,

I know how to give,

and celebrate,

like I am with this berry...

drink from Absolut.

- You didn't incorporate

the "acai" part of it.

- I'd rather not f*ck up

the last ending of the name.

- If you're gonna be paid

by a corporation,

you should probably figure out

how to say the name.

- I'm not thrilled

with the cover of the book.

- I felt it was a little busy.

but I love the concept.

I was very happy to see that

you took it so seriously.

- Jujubee, let's take a look

at your book cover.

- Memoirs of a Gay-sha:

Jujubee's Journey,

I'm Still Here.

[laughter]

I just want to show people

that you can go through things,

take that negative energy,

turn it around,

and use it to live.

It's a lesson.

- Love the title.

I'm very big on titles.

My new book is called

Poor Little Bitch Girl, so...

But that is a great title,

and I think you'll attract

not only a gay audience

with that title,

but with a straight audience

who's interested in reading

about your life's experiences,

especially coming from

an Asian family.

- It reminds us

of a great book already,

so that was very clever

thinking.

- There's a lot of candy

going on down here.

It's not true what they say

about Asians, honey.

- By the way, I know a number

of big Hollywood moguls

who would like to, uh,

take you out, if you ever...

if you're ever available.

- Tatianna, you're giving this

not jailbreak,

but jailbait look.

Let's take a look

at your book cover.

- Ooh.

- Superstar.

- My book is about

becoming a drag queen at 14,

dealing with the backlash

from that,

but still going forward

and not letting anyone stop me.

- Now, where was that person

when you walked down the runway?

I'm a little worried about

your confidence level.

- This dress, it could be

three stripes shorter.

- Shorter.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

I'm giving up

on trying to figure out

what's short enough

and what's long enough,

because...

- It's just slightly too long,

and it's starting to kind of

give a more

Morticia Addams look to it.

- Straight men love

to hit on me.

Every time I've gone out

in drag,

I've gotten hit on

by a straight guy,

so I must be doing

something right.

- Tatianna,

thank you for being here.

- Thank you.

And let me tell you

about this beverage.

- Unfortunately,

you did not mention

the name of the book.

Maybe it's fortunate,

because I'm not crazy about

the title of the book,

Tati.

Because Tati, I mean,

can be T-A-T-T-Y.

That's an English word

that means kind of not great.

- If that's the way

you squeeze in the cocktail,

we might have had a fight

in the car

on the way

to the next interview.

- Thanks, Tatianna.

- Thank you.

- Hello, Pandora.

- Hello, RuPaul.

- Oh, boy.

You got to use the pit crew.

- My book is about

how drag taught me

to gain self-confidence.

- Pandora, if you're wearing

this to be glamorous,

it's not working for me.

- This fabric is playing

with glamour,

but playing with, like,

funny glamour.

- If you're gonna look like

a coke whore,

take the joke even further.

- What kind of vodka is it?

- It's Berri Acai vodka.

- Missing my brand,

that was tough for me.

- Pandora Boxx, what do you

have to say for yourself?

- I just want to say that

my book,

Out of the Boxx:

How Drag Saved My Life,

is now available online

and in stores.

[laughter]

- Jessica Wild,

can we see your book?

Oh, wow.

Look at that.

- The cover looks like

the cover of a book,

like, a nine-year-old girl

would buy.

It could be a little more

sophisticated.

- Now, with all these

drag queens living toge...

- Oh, I love that Absolut acai.

Oh, my God.

The name is Jessica wild...

The Dreams of a Golden Child.

- Your interview got into,

like, train-wreck territory.

- On there, it sounded like

"dreams of a golden shower."

Do you know what that is?

- No.

- If you don't know

what a golden shower is,

that's very naive.

[laughter]

However, I like the cover.

It's a little pretentious to

have an Oscar on the front of it

because... [laughs]

Who knows?

- I'm not crazy about the cover

I feel like you could use

some of that Jessica Wild

imagination,

make a bigger splash

with that cover.

The interview

was basically so bad

that I wouldn't change a thing.

[laughter]

- Now, Jeffrey, you got your

product in there a lot.

- Yeah.

It was a little too sloppy.

I would probably have fired you

in the car

on the way home

from that interview.

- Raven, darling,

I love your fro.

- It was straight earlier,

but it's so humid back there.

[laughter]

- Let's see your book.

Oh.

- I've come from so many

broken things...

broken family, broken home,

broken relationships.

This is showing how to find

your inner strength.

- Why should you win

RuPaul's Drag Race?

- Well, first of all,

I'm young, broke, and fabulous.

Young, Broke, and Fabulous.

Young, Broke, and Fabulous.

- Well, I am extremely

impressed.

Do you know how many times

you said the title?

Even I have trouble...

I do do it sometimes,

but that was really great.

And you did it with style.

You bought it right in right at

the beginning of the interview.

I loved that.

Good for you.

- You're so sultry.

I feel like you could teach me

how to be more of a woman.

- I think you could teach me

how to be more of a woman.

- I don't think s...

[laughs]

- I'm a man in a dress.

[laughter]

- Thank you, ladies.

While you enjoy

an Absolut cocktail

in the Interior Illusions

Lounge,

the judges and I

will deliberate.

[engine turns]

Let's start with Tyra Sanchez.

- I like the title of her book.

[deep voice]

The Woman in Me.

[laughter]

- One of the best dresses

we've seen this season.

And I like the book, and I like

that she revealed a little bit,

'cause we don't see a lot

of vulnerability in her.

- Uh, Jujubee.

- I thought she was dynamite.

He had a fantastic personality.

She came across as really alive

and bright...

very, very bright.

I liked her a lot.

- I think she probably crossed

over the good-taste line,

but we could have probably

lived with that.

- Tatianna.

- It did look like

she was part of a chain g*ng.

I'm sorry, I couldn't get over

the dress.

It just went on and on and on

and I thought it was hideous.

It looked like Olive Oyl.

- I didn't get...

pick up any confidence

from her whatsoever.

- Pandora Boxx.

You know,

she's been consistent

in her ability

to just be a real player.

But she doesn't take it

to that next level.

- She looks like a girl

that's just stepped off

the Greyhound bus

and quickly

turned into a coke whore.

- That sounds like a book

I'd read...

[laughter]

And Jackie's written it.

- Yes.

Yes, I've written it.

- Jessica Wild.

- Title of her book

wasn't right.

- I mean, she was hilarious,

but not on purpose.

But this is kind of

a serious thing

and it's like, you really have

to step up to the plate

or the dance floor,

as it were.

- This is branding.

Clearly,

Jessica did not understand

the intricacies of that.

Raven.

- She showed this great

personality.

and, uh, the hair was fantastic,

the dress, the book...

Young, Broke and Fabulous.

Not young, not broke,

but fabulous.

[laughter]

- There's a lack of

vulnerability, though, in...

in Raven.

- And there is such a thing

as overselling, you know?

She needs to practice

some restraint.

- All right, then.

Silence.

Bring back the girls.

I have made my decision.

Welcome back, ladies.

You are all my heroes.

And you know that I know

what it took

for each of you

to get here tonight.

So no matter what happens,

you are champions.

Tyra Sanchez,

the next drag superstar

needs to be

consistently dynamic.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Jujubee,

you had us at "gay-sha ."

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Tatianna,

you're young and talented...

but you fumbled your interview.

And you came to the main stage

dressed like a referee.

- I'm sorry, my dear.

you are up for elimination.

- When I find out

that I'm in the bottom two,

my mouth goes completely dry.

I'm not ready to go home.

- Pandora Boxx.

The judges were not

absolutely impressed.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- Raven.

What can I say?

You're young, broke,

and fabulous,

and you are the winner

of this week's challenge.

Congratulations, Raven.

You've won a glamorous

shopping spree

at the legendary house

of L.A. Eyeworks.

- I finally won

a f*cking challenge.

And it was a big win to me.

Thank you.

- Jessica, you went wild

in your interview,

but your cover did not snatch

any trophies from the judges.

I'm sorry, my dear.

you are up for elimination.

- I need to win this,

because I don't think

that I did a bad job

for going back home today.

- Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance

to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come

to lip-synch

for your life.

Good luck,

and don't f*ck it up.

[Sister Sledge's

He's the Greatest Dancer]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ He's the greatest dancer ♪

♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

- I'm watching them perform,

and I see Jessica's doing

a little bit too much for me.

- ♪ He's the greatest

dancer ♪

- This is my last chance.

I have to win

the lip synch for my life.

- ♪ I really wasn't caring ♪

♪ But I felt

my eyes staring ♪

♪ At a guy who stuck out ♪

♪ In the crowd ♪

♪ He had the kind of body ♪

♪ That would shame Adonis ♪

♪ And a face ♪

♪ That would make

any man cry ♪

- Tatianna starts

doing her thing,

just being very sensual

and sexy,

and it was amazing.

- ♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ He's the greatest dancer ♪

♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ That I've ever seen ♪

♪ I love your moves ♪

♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ He's the greatest dancer ♪

♪ Oh, what? Wow ♪

♪ That I've ever seen ♪

[laughter]

- Great job.

[applause]

- Ladies,

I've made my decision.

Tatianna...

Shante, you stay.

- I was in pure shock.

I thought I might have misheard.

- Are you playing with me?

- Thank you, Tatianna.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you.

Thank you so much.

- Jessica,

follow your wildest dreams,

my golden child.

Now sashay away.

- Thank you from the bottom

of my heart.

[applause]

I'm very proud of myself.

Be here is one of my dreams.

I make my dreams come true.

I'm a winner.

Amo a Puerto Rico.

- And to my five

remaining queens,

remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell you gonna love

somebody else?

Can I get a whoop-whoop?

- all: Whoop-whoop.

[laughter]

- Let the music play.

- ♪ Don't be jealous

of my boogie ♪

♪ Don't be jealous

of my boogie ♪

♪ You can say that

you are not ♪

♪ But I always see you

looking ♪

♪ Don't be jealous ♪

♪ Of my boogie ♪

♪ Don't be jealous... ♪