01x06 - What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Knuckles". Aired: April 26, 2024.*
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Follows Knuckles the Echidna as he trains deputy sheriff Wade Whipple in the ways of the Echidna warrior.
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01x06 - What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno

Post by bunniefuu »

It's done.
Knuckles is headed your way.

We're in position.

He's almost at the penthouse.

As soon as you have him,

you send my mom and my sister
down to me, and please...

just don't hurt him.

- No promises.

What the...

What is that?

- Peekaboo.

Oh, sh**t and darn it.

I forgot to tell
you guys one thing.


Knuckles has been
listening the whole time.


You messed with
the wrong warrior.

"
by Elton John playing]

- Big mistake. Huge.

Oh man...

- Stop hitting yourself!

Stop hitting yourself!
Stop hitting yourself!

- Wade! How did you get here?

I snuck in the back stairs,
then, using my cat-like reflexes

and natural ability
to be overlooked,

I was able
to get in the room.

Besides, they were more
focused on Knuckles anyway.

I'm here to rescue you guys!

- Oh, thank God.
We really need your help.
- No, Mom! We don't.

I'm gonna get us
outta here on my own.

Wanda, please don't
start that again.

- Yeah, don't be a hero, Wanda.
- I am a hero!

I've accidentally locked myself
in those cuffs so many times,

Tom gave me a master key!

Wade, you saved us!

- What are you doing?
- No. Wade, stop.
Stop touching me!

- Stop! No--
- Stop moving your hands! If you
stop moving your hands, then I--

- I'm doing a thing right now!
- What are you doing?!

I'm doing an FBI thing

where I slip my own hands
out of these handcuffs

by dislocating my thumb.
Here I go.

- Ow! Oh!
- Just let me do it!

It'll be way less painful
and quicker!

I'm almost there. Ow!

- You're screaming in pain.
- Ow! Ah! I'm almost there!

Let your brother
rescue you!

This isn't over yet...

No! I'm not letting Wade
rescue me! No freaking way!

- Ah, Knuckles!

- Let's do this.

- This ends now.

Okay. Fine.
Fine, you win.

- Knuckles, you okay?
- Wade! Stay back.

Not this time.

Aaaah!

- Ah! Get off me!
- Ah! No!

No, I can't get sucked
into that thing! Help me!

This ain't good.

Dude!
That was awesome!

I can't believe the plan worked.
We did it!

Wade Whipple,
you must hurry.

Your Tournament of Champions
is about to conclude!

The tournament?
You mean--

Yes. Your greatest victory
still awaits.

- This is your last chance
to face your ultimate foe!

The schmuck known
as your father,

in a ritual trial by combat on
your own personal battleground!

I'd like five minutes alone
with him in a trial by combat.

The time has come for you
to prove your worth

as a champion,
and a warrior.

You know what?
You're right. This is it.

This is finally my chance

- to--
- Got i!

- I got it!

- Told you I would do it!
- W-Wanda, put that thing away.

- Impressive battle wound,
Wanda Whipple.

Thanks, Knucks.

We are here
at the final round

of the Bowling Tournament
of Champions

in beautiful Reno, Nevada,
or as I like to call it,

-"Las Vegas for losers."

Once again, the heavy
favorite's from overseas,

where they bowl on
the wrong side of the lane.

I'm talking about the team
led by 27-time winner

and legend of the lanes,

p*stol... Pete... Whipple!

- Look at that swagger.
- Wow, look at the attitude.

I mean, this guy
is all confidence.

- This crowd is goin' nuts
for p*stol Pete.

Are you ready for a show?

- Jordan. Gretzky.
- Yes.

Brady. These are
the names you think of

when you think of athletes
that have defined their sport.

And with a win today,
I would argue

that p*stol Pete's face
should be chiseled up there

- on the Mount Rushmore
of bowling as well.

Next time she needs
an after-school activity,

we're doing piano lessons.

And in the challenger's
corner,

we have
a young upstart team

looking to have their first
taste of championship glory.

It's fronted by a small-town
Montana sheriff's deputy,

who also happens to be...

- p*stol Pete's long-lost son!
- What?

- Allegedly.
- Now, here's a good
father-son story.

Rumor has it
that p*stol Pete

abandoned his son
at a local TJ Maxx,

choosing a bowling career
over his parenting duties.

I wanna say,
regardless of how you feel

- about childhood abandonment,
and I'm against it...
- Hm. Me, too.

...the deals at TJ Maxx
cannot be b*at.

No, I wish my dad
left me at a TJ Maxx.

But, you know what?
Let's settle this score
once and for all

and bring out
our challenger,

Mr. Wade Whipple...

- Yes!

- Yes, Wade!
Here he comes, everybody!
- Go, Wade!

Get ready!

- Sorry, where is he?

- Uh... I'm not, uh...
- Is he not...

I gave him the--
Mr. Wade Whipple!

- Just like that scene
in The Sound of Music...
- L-Let me do it again.

- Maybe he didn't hear it.
Let me hear it. Uh...

Let's settle the score once
and for all and bring out

Wade Whipple!

Wade? Wade Whipple.

- Oh, man.
- Wade Whipple?

I-I don't have him.
I don't have eyes on him.

Okay, well, I-- What do
you mean stretch it out?

- I can't stretch it out...
- We're supposed to fill time.
You know what?

L-L-Let's do some
of the fun facts.

Oh. Oh, what a pity.

It appears my opponent...

is officially a no-show.

Which means, once again, I...

- am the winner!

Put... that trophy... down.

- Dad.

- Wow... Okay.
- Wow... Lotta drama.

Oh! There he is.

Surprised to see me?

Can't say that I am.

You never were the sharpest
thorn in the briar patch.

I don't have any idea
what that means,

but I'm sure
it's insulting.

If I wanted to
insult you, dear boy,

I'd tell you you are
in over your head,

out of your league,

and 10 pins away

from the most humiliating
defeat of your life.

- Oh, snap! I heard that!
- Ooh! That's gotta hurt!

- I heard that one!
In front of everybody!

And if I was
to insult you,

I'd say your game's
gotten weak,

your costume
smells funky,

and, quite frankly,
your accent sounds fake.

- Sick burn, baby!
- Really? Even the last one?

- Oh! Should we be
allowed to hear this?

- I think not.
- Should we be--
I mean, this is private!

I'm going to give you
one last chance, Wade,

to do what I did
all those years ago

and just... walk... away.

Because there's no way
you can win, dear boy.

You see all these
lovely people?

Every single one of them
is here

because they love me.

And they have absolutely
no bloody idea

who the hell you are!

Oh yeah, old man?

- They will.

- Wow!
- Whoa!

Those are some
athletic-looking thighs!

I mean,
but get them in the sun.

I don't think I'm supposed
to be looking at that.

Let's roll.

Yes, Wade!

Wade, put your pants
back on, dude.

It'll be cooler.

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

p*stol Pete!
p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

Wade Whipple!

- Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple!
- Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple!
Wade Whipple!

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

- Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple!
- Wade Whipple!

It's Whipple versus Whipple

as the Tournament
of Champions finals

are officially underway.

Can't wait.

- Oh!
Right out of the gate!
- Wow.

Here we go.
This is some great
bowling action.

Yeah.

That's how it's done.

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!

p*stol Pete! p*stol Pete!
p*stol Pete...

Man, your dad's a real
turd bucket, huh?

Yeah, I've recently
come to realize that.

Ahhhhh...

Better keep up, dear boy.
That is, unless,

you're ready to
wave the white flag
and surrender.

- I'm Wade Whipple.

Lieutenant Deputy of
the smallest town in Montana.

I don't know the meaning
of the word "surrender."
Water bottle.

- I have not yet begun to ball.

- Yes! Yes!

- Wade not backing down at all!

- Look at the balls on this guy.
- Oh. Tit for tat.

Look, I'm not a doctor,
but technically,


- they share the same blood...
- Can I get a beer, please?

- Yeah, sure.

- Hm...

This truly is
a strange little planet.

Can I get you anything, honey?

Yes. Bring me your
largest challah bread.

- Bam!

- Yes!

Ha, yes!

Woo!

- Uh-oh!

p*stol Pete looking
a little worried over there.

- Oh, yeah,
he looks intimidated.
- You know, I think he's, uh,

got a little bit tougher
competitor than he thought.

Gettin' nervous yet,
old timer?

Nervous?
Don't be ridiculous.

Woo-hoo! You go, Wade!
And whatever happens,

- I'm proud of you!
- Wade!

Please! Please
don't choke today!

- Just please don't do it!
Do great! Okay?

Okay!

Hm... That sounds troubling.

Knuckles the Echidna.

It's an honor
to meet you at last.

I thought you'd give me
more of a fight.

- This is it.

It's all going to come down
to this final frame.

- You got this, Pete.

- Oh...

- Yes! I love you, pin!
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.

That miss gives Wade a chance.

- If he can get a strike here,
he could win the tournament.

You should pick up
this spare, no problem.

- Wow!

- Those are fightin' words
right there.
- Sick dig!

Someone's about
to get slapped!

- Great use of the term
"sick dig," by the way.

Unflappable.

This is so dramatic.

Because as it
comes down to this,

if Wade Whipple
bowls another strike,

he'll be on his way
to a perfect game

and a tournament
championship.

Not to mention
an emotional victory

over the man who left him

a fatherless,
stunted,

utter shell
of a human being.

- Okay...
- And the question is,

does Wade have the strength
to finish this fight?

Well, do you, dear boy?

Are you strong enough

to strike down
your own father in battle?

To do whatever
it takes to claim

that championship trophy?

Or are you just another
schmuck with a nickname?

Wade the Warrior?

Oh, I know
I'm strong enough, Dad.

Really?

Because all my life,

I've learned
from great warriors.

- Hm.
- I learned from a mother

who never stopped fighting
for her family.

I learned from her sister, who's
honestly a little bit annoying,

but amazingly fearless
and headstrong.

But most of all, I learned
from the greatest warrior

in the entire galaxy,

who taught me that
real warriors wouldn't exist

if not for those
who came before them,

showed them the way,
and never stopped fighting,

no matter how hard
the battle became.

That's why I never would've
found my greatest strength,

my true power,

without my friend,
Knuckles the Echidna.

Now, Dylan, normally it
doesn't take this long

- for bowlers to bowl.
- Yeah, I agree, Gary.

It seems as though
he is monologuing.

That's highly
unorthodox.

Nice speech.

But you left out
one small detail.

- You're a loser, Wade.

You always have been,

and you always will be.

Well, would a loser do this?

- Yes!

- Oh! Unbelievable!
- Oh! The upstart has done it!

Oh, my God, I did it!

I won!
I'm a champion!

- Whoa! Duck!

- Knuckles?
- Wade Whipple!

Get your people to safety

- before they--

- Wade! Where are you going?
- To help my friend!

- Knuckles?
- Wade!

Stay back!

Okay, the stakes have
been raised considerably.

Don't worry, Echidna.
This'll all be over soon.

- All I need is...

every ounce of your power.

- Knuckles!

- What are you doing to him?!

Your power is mine, echidna.

Your only purpose now...

is to die!

Knuckles! Buddy!

What did he do to you?

You caused me a lotta trouble.

- Now I'm gonna make you pay.

You think you're so tough,

hiding behind that metal onesie
you're wearing?

I'm not scared of you.
Come and get me!

Okay, I was bluffing.

- Hm?

- Whoa!

Somebody call for backup?

We thought
you could use a hand.

- God, that was a good line.

Alright, Wade.
Let's do this.

Let's roll.

Knuckles, I hope
you can hear this.

You taught me how to stand up
for myself and fight!

And we're stronger
than ever now...

because we fight together!

A warrior's true strength
comes from their heart.

And your heart
has never been bigger!

You fight to honor
your family!

You fight to protect
your friends!

And now, you have
something new to fight for.

A home!

Looks like you're
all out of balls!

- This is my home!

- No! No!

- My power!

The Flames of Disaster!

Come on!

- Finish him, Knucks!

Victory is ours.

Wow. Well,
there you have it, folks.

This proves what I've
been saying all along.

Absolutely
anything can happen

in the National
Bowling Championships.

You know, Gary,
I looked it up,

and actually,
this has happened before.

There was a visit
by an extraterrestrial

in the 1974 tourney,

- but I don't think he was red.
- Well, you might be right,

but I'm gonna tell you,
this time was a lot more fun.

- What a show tonight, people.
- So fun. Oh!

Looks like there's some more
action down on the lanes.

Hey! That dork burger's
stealing the trophy!

- Shut your
gob hole, you little brat!
- Oh no!

p*stol Pete is
stealing the trophy,

and he lost the tourney!

I don't know what the rule book
says about this, Gary.

- Oh, no, you don't.

Take your hands off
my son's trophy, you schmuck!

Mom, that was awesome!

Ever think about
joining the FBI?

Well, if it means
I can spend more time

with my daughter,
I'd love to.

You did it, Wade Whipple!
You won!

Buddy, we did it.

- Hey, Knuckles!

How about some
new road trip music?

I call this mix "Knuckles
and Wade Warrior Jammerz."

What is this amazing song?

This is...

my jam!
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