10x08 - Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on
"RuPaul's Drag Race..."

We're playing the Snatch Game.

[cheers and applause]

- I drew a picture of a bunny.

[all laugh]

- Russian hooker urine.

[all laugh]

- I'll bring it up in congress,

and then I'll bring it up
at "Draw Cam."

- The Vixen.

- Sorry, girl,
there was not much there.

It needs to be more
than just a few moments.

- Monique Heart.

- I was really excited
for Maxine Waters,

but you didn't really dig
into who she was.

- Okay.

- Who deserves to go home
tonight and why?

- Asia O'Hara because she's
my biggest competition.

- I have never seen such a level
of unprofessionalism

as I have watching Eureka.

- I can't let her sit there--
- Again.

- And literally
verbally att*ck me.

- You weren't att*cked.
You're a grown man.

- Literally
verbally attacking me

in front of people

that I want to have respect
for my art.

- All right, Asia.
- I think The Vixen.

- I would have to say The Vixen.

- The Vixen.
- The Vixen.

- Aquaria, you are the winner
of this week's challenge.

[applause]

- Vixen, shantay you stay.

Monique, sashay away.

- Just keep swimming.

- Girl.
- Just keep swimming.

- I'm so done swimming.

- What's it say?

- "Always abide in love
and learn your words.

Facts are facts."

- Facts are facts.
- Miss Monique Heart, girl.

- See you soon, Monique.

Monique was just eliminated,

and I feel like my friend
in this competition is gone.

The workroom is not
going to be the same.

- Well, now y'all stuck with me.

At this point, I know I don't
have a friend in the room,

and it makes me happy,

because now I have no reason
to hold back.

The fight is on.

- It sucks to have to tell
who you want to go home.

Like, that is one of the worst
parts of this competition.

- I feel like one should
just give a true answer

whether people like it or not,
you know what I'm saying?

Like, and I feel like
unfortunately

Vixen, that everyone--
- But let's be clear for me.

I did not once, nor have I ever,
att*cked your character

or anything about you
as a person.

- But you att*cked my dream.

- It's all of our dream, baby.

- No matter what anybody's
reason for saying it,

it don't feel good.

- It doesn't,
but I'm not mad--

- So let me have my feelings.

- So The Vixen, Eureka,
are y'all cool now?

- I didn't have a problem
with Vixen to begin with.

You're like,
oh, I've just decided

I just don't like you period
for no real reason whatsoever.

- No, no, no, no, no.
- Except for the fact

that you annoyed me
in Snatch Game.

The Vixen says my character
was too much, and I know it was.

It was supposed to be.

And I made sure
not to cut anyone off.

I'm not the one to blame

if you did a bad job
in the Snatch Game.

She got upset
about everybody else,

and I just happened
to be the one

that pissed her off somehow

when I didn't do anything
specifically to you.

- That can't even be factual.

How can I be upset
about everybody else--

- What are you upset about,
though,

when I didn't do sh*t
- I just don't like you.

When you get asked
who deserves to go home,

my least favorite person
in the room is still you.

- The Vixen wants Eureka
to go home for personal reasons

just because
she doesn't like her.

Even it's so apparent now

because Eureka didn't even
say her name on the runway.

- Underneath this mask
you have a black moustache.

This LeVar Burton look
is going to be everything.

[all laugh]

- Haters gonna hate,
but y'all can't hate the body.

- Yes.
- Yes, we can.

- Love the body.

- You over there
sitting over there

shaped like a can of dog food.

[all laugh]

- Aquaria done won Snatch Game.
I did not--

- Oh, congratulations.

- Congratulations.

- Yeah.
- It's a real gag.

- Congratulations.
Now, you are my sister, girl.

I love you the house down, boo.
We kiki, we laugh.

I really thought that it was
gonna be Eureka or myself.

- I won Snatch Game,
which is a big game changer.

I have definitely a giant target
all over my body.

- And that sounds
so conceited,

but I didn't see you winning.

I am shocked that Aquaria won.

I'm happy that the crown

still goes to New York City
for Snatch Game.

But it should have been me.

I am thirsty for a win, honey.

I need a win in my pocket
like yesterday.

Let me show y'all
what glamour is.

This is glamour.

- You will never be glamour.

- Monet X Change
is rising to the top,

and I'm waiting
to take over, girl.

I'm giving you RuPaul, honey.

You're not into it?

- It's a different kind
of beauty.

- It's a different species.

- The winner
of "RuPaul's Drag Race"

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra special guest judges
Andrew Rannells

and Billy Eichner.

- ♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

- ♪ May the best woman ♪

- ♪ Best woman win ♪

- Good morning.

- I'm feeling
sponge-tastic. Oh...

- It's a new day
in the workroom,

and we are almost
to the halfway point.

- Lucky seven.

- The lucky seven. Yay!
- Lucky seven.

- It's a little surreal.

I can't believe
that I have been here

for as long as I have.

I'm feeling a lot better about
my place in this competition.

- What do y'all think
is next here?

- Let's dance.
I wanna dance with somebody.

- Do you wanna feel the heat,
though?

- Mm.
- Mm.

- Kameron, what do you
want to do next?

- Kameron wants to have
a weight lifting challenge.

Or arm wrestling.
Let's arm wrestle.

- No.
- Do it. Do it.

- Come on.
- Do it.

- b*at her ass, Kameron.

- I'm on Team Kameron.

I'm gonna cheerlead for Kameron.

- Okay, somebody--

[alarm]
- Whoo, girl.

- Saved by the bell.
- I won!

- She done already
done had herses.

- Hey, babes.
[cheers and applause]

Do you believe
in life after love?

- Yes!

- Well, you better
save up all your tears

because you haven't seen
the last of me.

After all, Cher-ing is caring.

Who books me on these
chickenshit gigs?

I mean, I'm Cher, bitch.

[all laugh]

[cheers and applause]
- Oh, no, Cher.

- Hello, hello, hello.

[cheers and applause]
Hi, ladies.

Now, America's
next drag superstar

needs to be able to take it
as well as she can give it.

Err!

[all laugh]

Starting with
the "Drag Race" staple,

the fake bitch slap.

Uh-huh.
You've seen the GIF of me

slapping the season two girls.

So for today's mini challenge,

we're going to play
a game of slap out of it.

[cheers and laughter]

Each of you will come up
with super sassy lines

that will motivate me to
fake slap the crap out of you.

[all laugh]

And the queen with the most
compelling reactions wins.

#DragRace.

All right, Eureka, come on down.

[all laugh]

Now, Eureka, I don't think

there's anything
you could say to me

that would make me
want to slap you,

you sweet, precious child.

- HD.

- [gasps]

- Oh!

[cries] Why?

- Get back in line
where you belong.

[all laugh]

- Why are standing
so far away, bitch?

- They call you mother,

but at your age,
shouldn't it be grand--

[all laugh]

- I don't like
the way that was going.

- The new host of "Drag Race,"
Lady Bunny Girl.

- Oh, my God,
there's a bird in here.

- Uh!

[all laugh]

- Goodbye forever.

- Ugh!

Et tu, RuPaul.

[all laugh]

- This is fun.

- You know what, Ru?

- What, darling?

- You wear it, eh...

[all laugh]

- That was so funny.

- I thought it was good.

- I can't slap you for that.

[all laugh]

- Vanjie.
- Vanjie.

Vanjie, Vanjie.

- Hey, bitch.
- Hey.

- You got something
to say to me?

- You hit like a girl.
Too bad you don't look like one.

[all laugh]

- Now, that was good.

- Oh, my God! Oh!

[cheers]

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

I'm so sorry.

- It's about to be
"Asia O'Hara's Drag Race."

I'm about to own
this whole building.

Can I go back to my spot?

- Yeah, you go on.
You better get on over there.

- Yeah, I'm gonna...

[applause]

- [laughs]

- My name's Aquaria,

and my birthday
is February 12, 1996.

- Asia O'Hara, come here.

You stand right there.

Slap this bitch for me.

- Yeah, slap her.

- Give me some.

- Aah-ha-ha!

Oh...

- Now get your skinny ass
back there.

[all laugh]
Thank you, Asia.

Ladies, you all
really made me slap happy.

[all laugh]

The winner of today's
mini challenge is...

Asia O'Hara.

[applause]

- Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

- You've won a $2.000 gift card
from Sparkles Rhinestones.

You can put those
where your teeth used to be.

[all laugh]

Now that I've slapped
some sense into y'all,

it's time to pay tribute

to one of the greatest stars
of all time.

She's an Oscar-winning actress
who's had a number one hit

in every decade
for the past six decades.

And yet somehow, she never ages.

I am, of course,
talking about my idol,

the one and only Cher.

[cheers and applause]

So for this week's
maxi challenge,

you'll be starring in Cher,
the Unauthorized Rusical.

Each of you will portray Cher

from a different era
of her epic career.

And get this.

You're going to be singing live.

- Ooh.

- No lip syncing.

Kameron,
you'll play sixties Cher.

- Oh.

- Monet X Change and The Vixen,

you'll each play different
seventies variety show Chers.

Aquaria, Disco Cher.

- Whoo!

- Asia O'Hara, movie star Cher.

Eureka, rock star Cher.

- Ooh.

[imitating Cher]
Comeback tour.

- That was rotten.

[all laugh]

Miz cr*cker, comeback Cher.

And you can all
top off your Cher fantasy

using wigs provided
by RockStar Wigs.

- Ooh.
- Oh.

- Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

[cheers and applause]
- Thank you.

- Hey.

- This week's maxi challenge is
Cher, The Unauthorized Rusical.

And we're singing live.

I don't know
about everybody else,

but I lip sync, I don't sing.

- ♪ I need brand new sound ♪

- ♪ And every Monday night,
the fans come around ♪

♪ To see my Mackie gown ♪

- ♪ To see
my sponge dress gown ♪

- [laughs]

The key to doing well
in this challenge

is to really getting
the essence of Cher,

and really portraying that

in your character
and in your Cher-isms.

- [humming]

Hey-ho.

[imitating Cher]
Gypsy queen, oh.

- [humming]
♪ Disco Cher ♪

- ♪ I was only getting started ♪

- It sounds like
an insane asylum in here.

[groans]

- [laughs]

- Looking around the room,

I see a bunch of queens
singing, dancing,

talking to themselves,
trying to be Cher.

It's pure madness.

- ♪ And b*rned the candle
at both ends ♪

- ♪ Slip me the talk ♪

- Hey. Blblblblbl.

- American Horror Story,
Cher Edition.

- Aquaria, are you drunk?

- [laughs]

- No, girl, I'm Disco Cher.

- Hello, my gypsies, tramps,
and thieves.

[applause]
- Hello.

- Hey, Asia.
- Hey.

- So, Asia,
do you actually sing?

- I do not.

- Hey, listen,
that never stopped me.

- Well, you sing.

- I can talk,
therefore, I can sing.

Now, you've got eighties
movie star Cher.

- Yes.

- So tell me about your
interpretation of this role.

- Well, it's gonna
take some work

because it is
a less glamorous Cher

than a lot of people
are used to.

- Did you see any of
the eighties movies with Cher?

- Yes, I have.

But all those roles
are very different.

They're not her as Cher,

they're her playing characters,
or different people.

- Well, see, she doesn't
really lose who Cher is

when she's playing
these characters.

You see the rebel,

the no BS attitude
that comes through.

You have to embody Cher.

Any acting experience?
- None.

Well, last week's Snatch Game.

- Yeah, well,
let's not bring that up.

- Let's not.
- Yeah.

So let me hear you say

[imitating Cher]
"snap out of it."

- [imitating Cher]
Snap out of it.

- You're not getting the sort
of timbre of her voice,

the way that she speaks,
you know.

So get it together
and snap out of it.

- Oh.

I am literally "Moonstruck."

- Hello, Kameron Michaels.
- Hello.

- Listen, I am an encyclopedia
of Cher knowledge.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Is there anything
you'd like to ask me?

- Well, if you have
any information for me

about the Sixties Cher.

- Well, listen,
throughout the decades,

Cher at her core is the rebel.

I met Cher
for the first time in 1996.

I met her in her dressing room.

It was just me and her,
and so charismatic.

I was like...
She just has it.

She has that "it" factor.
- Yeah.

- If you can capture
that "it" factor

and the rebel, you've got it.

So now so far
in this competition,

you've sort of been
flying under the radar.

- I like to think
I'm silent but deadly,

but that hasn't won me
a challenge yet,

so maybe I need to be
a little more on the deadly side

and a little less
on the silent side.

- Good. It's time
for you to show up.

Just remember,
Cher-ing is caring.

- Yes, ma'am.
- All right, I'll see you later.

Monet X Change.
- Hi, Ru.

- Now, you sing opera,
don't you?

- I do. I went to undergrad
for opera performance.

But I'm like a bass,
you know what I mean?

- Sure.

- In opera,
I'm a basso profundo,

so doing this Cher thing

is not necessarily
something I would normally do.

I just have such a deep voice,

and doing like the Cher,
oh, I sound like--

it's like that whole--
- Cher has a deep voice.

- Yes, she does, but I'm like
a bass, you know what I mean?

It's like weird.

- I just don't understand
you kids today.

It feels like when you
come to the competition,

you compartmentalize
your talent.

Whatever you excel at,
f*cking apply it to everything.

I hope these other b*tches
are listening to this,

because this is
some good sh*t.

I had to pay thousands
of dollars to learn that.

Now, you are playing
which Cher?

- Seventies.

- Oh, right,
the variety show Cher.

- Yeah, variety show Cher.

- Who is your Cher?

- My Cher would have to be
Carol Burnett.

- Carol Burnett
does a mean Cher.

- Yeah. Carol Burnett
loves impersonating Cher,

so I'm going to try
to marry that with my Monet-ness

to give a very original
Cher performance.

It's gonna help me win
a g*dd*mn maxi challenge.

- Hi, Eureka.

- Hi, Ms. Charles.

- Hey, listen, last week
you had some words with Vixen.

Have you guys reconciled?

- No. She's made it very clear
she doesn't like me.

Maybe we're not meant
to be friends.

When someone doesn't like me,

it's hard for me
to understand why,

so instead, let me
just not worry about that.

I have a lot to prove
and a lot of pressure.

I don't want to focus
on anything else.

- Exactly. Do you sing?

- For me, I get really nervous

whenever I have to sing live
in front of people.

- When you do a character
and it's not even you,

you don't have to be nervous.
You're being Cher.

I read years ago that Cher
grew up loving Elvis.

So a lot of her...
♪ almost sounds like Elvis ♪

- Hey, okay.

- So it's not you,
it's eighties rock Cher.

It helps, if you do forget,
it's...

- Yeah, okay.

- You got a little white thing
going on there.

- [laughs]
- Don't be nervous.

- I won't.
- And snap out of it.

- I'm snapping, Ru.

- [laughs]
That was Ethel Merman.

[all laugh]

If we were doing
an Ethel Merman challenge--

- I'd be spot on.
- You'd be right on.

All right, I'll see you later.

- Thank you so much.
- Okay.

Oh!

- Miz cr*cker.
- Mother Ru.

- So you have
some history of Cher.

- I came from a family
where there was literally

no exposure to pop culture
at all.

So when I first saw Cher,
it was late in the game.

- Okay. So you have
nineties comeback Cher.

How are you going
to make her stand out?

- I want to add as many gags
about age as possible.

If I could have, at some point,

someone throw me a cane
and go for it on a cane.

- Okay, so now you're in
a little area

that's a little bit
touchy there,

because Cher is not old,
she's ageless.

Do want you want,
- You know, Ru,

when you didn't slap your thigh
at the cane thing,

it was already nixed.

- [laughs]

All right,
thank you, Miz cr*cker.

- Thank you so much, Ru.

- Hey, Vixen.
- Hey, Ru.

- Do you sing?
- Yeah, sometimes.

- Oh, sometimes.
- Sometimes.

You know, I lip sync
for a living, so...

- Yeah. So do you do
a Cher impersonation?

- No, I've never
done a Cher impersonation,

but I've performed her music
as a lip sync.

It's not a big thing
doing a Cher song.

- Huh. You have a little bit
of a history of conflicts here.

- Yeah.
- Why do you think that is?

- I like to take things head on,

because I'm like,
no, be real with me?

What's going on?

- Yeah. How can you incorporate
that into your character?

- I guess
I'm gonna have to be feisty.

- Mm-hmm.
- You think so?

- I, uh--

- I think Cher
would throw a glass or two

every once in a while.

- Sure, sure.

- Cher, Cher.

- You had beef with Eureka.

Have you guys had
a "come to Jesus" moment?

- Not at all.
I feel like it's better

knowing who your friends are
and who your enemies are.

Apparently
I don't have a friend here,

'cause you see all the girls
want me to go home.

Last week, all of the other
girls said that I should home.

They don't think
I deserve to be here,

so f*ck 'em.

- Why do you think
they want you to go home?

- I think they know
that I keep it real

and they can't
play phony around me.

Because I call bullshit
all the time.

- You can fight,

but ultimately the biggest fight
you have in this life

is with yourself, you know?

And diving in

and seeing what the root cause
of that conflict is.

- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?

So keep that in mind.
- Yes, ma'am.

- All right, Vixen.
I'll see you out there.

- Thank you.

- [imitating Cher] Aquaria.

- [imitating Cher]
Hey, RuPaul.

- [laughs]
- Which Cher do you have?

- I've got Disco Cher.

This challenge
I'm really excited for

because I've got a Cher
that is singing

in a range
that I'm familiar with.

There's like a warm five notes

that I can hit pretty well.
- Oh, I'd love to hear them.

- And these
are most of them, so...

- Let me hear them.

- ♪ TV's gone ♪

♪ Moving on ♪

♪ There's just one thing
that left for me to do ♪

- Aquaria seems really confident

about her singing ability.

She is clearly
not listening to herself sing.

- ♪ To my grave,
the wants-- ♪

Oh, pardon me.
I f*cked that up.

- That sounds nice.
- Thank you.

- All you've got to do
is learn the words.

Well let me just say this.

I'm looking for you kids
to embody what Cher is.

- Right.
- She's an outsider.

- I feel like
I can relate to that

because I'm kind of
that like outsider queen

that does all the things,
and does them kind of well,

but isn't, you know,
always with other girls.

- Well, Cher and Cher alike.

- I can't wait
to Cher with you all.

- Thanks, Aquaria.

All right, ladies.

Good luck, and...

[imitating Cher]
don't f*ck it up.

[cheers and applause]

- Whoo.

- Aquaria, are you nervous
after your meeting?

- No.
- Oh.

- Should I be?
Does it sound like I need to be?

- Aquaria is a cocky
little bastard, isn't she, girl?

She really
didn't sound that great,

so she is like
really delusional.

But she feels like
her walkthrough went amazing,

and in her mind, Aquaria
has won this challenge.

So we'll see how that all plays
out on the runway tomorrow.

- Hello.

- It is time to rehearse
with Todrick Hall,

the singing, dancing sensation.

You know, no pressure.

- Are y'all ready to rehearse
Cher the Unauthorized Rusical?

- Yes.
- Absolutely.

- So we're gonna go
one at a time.

Let's start with the sixties.
Who goes first?

Okay, bitch.
Don't let us down.

- I'm just gonna say
a little prayer.

- Can I have you on stage,
and everybody else,

you're free to go
just hang out for a moment.

Can I have the boys up here?

- Hi.
- Okay.

Now we need to hear you
sing the lyrics. Ready?

- ♪ Oh, we were
two sh**ting stars ♪

♪ And we had each other, babe ♪

♪ Then we went to Hollywood ♪

[laughs]

Wow, way to b*mb.
Right in front of Todrick Hall.

Great first impression.

- You're very cute,
but it's gonna be like not cute

if you get on stage
and f*ck it up.

- ♪ Born in Cali,
my name is Cherilyn ♪

♪ I was... ♪

Sorry.

- You okay?

- Yeah, just nerves.
- This is really important,

because you set the tone
of the entire number.

You're going to have
to emote the entire thing.

That's what's gonna sell this.

No pressure.
- Yeah.

- So you're gonna start
facing this way,

and it's kind of like
a little homage to Beyoncé.

You're gonna go
sin-gle ladies.

Five, six, seven, eight.

And sin-gle ladies.

Dance all night.

Dun-dun. Great.

Can you try to put the words
on top of this,

because it's really important

that you're going to be singing
during this part.

- Yes.
- Okay.

Five, six, seven, eight.

- ♪ Single ladies
dance all night ♪

♪ This TV queen,
she hit the scene ♪

♪ Before seeing Sonny
and getting good rocker G ♪

- Okay.

I just want you to be aware
of what your face looks like.

With the other people,
I can see their Cher-isms,

but with you, I saw almost none.

- No, I do not see Cher.

I see Dennis Rodman, girl.

Remember when Dennis Rodman had
that song out in the nineties?

That is exactly
what she sounds like.

It does not sound good.

- So we have Miz cr*cker
as Comeback Cher.

You got your vocoder?
- Yep.

- Okay, let's try it.
- Vocoder.

My part of the Rusical
involves a joke about auto-tune,

so I have to sell it
with the prop.

- Now, if that microphone
leaves your mouth

while you're doing
this choreography,

they won't really hear you.

So... ♪ for something
I can believe ♪

then you can take it away.

But the microphone
has to be here

until the word "believe"
is over.

- Okay.

- Five, six, seven.

- ♪ Vocoder,
something I can believe ♪

- And the answer is to--

- ♪ Technology ♪

- But don't put
the mic to your mouth

when you're saying that,
because you'll still vocoding.

- Yeah. I have to put the mic
towards my face,

and away, to the b*at,

and know my words
and know the steps.

♪ Vocoder ♪

♪ New trick up my sleeve ♪

- ♪ We can't hear you if
the mic isn't at your mouth ♪

- ♪ A new trick up my sleeve ♪

This is going to be great.

- This is the whole
selling point of your number.

If you put that microphone
to your mouth

while you're saying
"technology,"

it will ruin the whole joke.

It's supposed to be funny.

Cool?
- It will be funny.

Ugh.

- Asia, Oscar Cher.

Five, six, seven and...

- ♪ Career hits the skids
and you're busy with kids ♪

snap out of it.

- Are you gonna sing
"slap out of it?"

- Yes.
- Okay... ♪ sing it ♪ this time.

Okay, ready?

- ♪ Career hits the skids
and you're busy with kids ♪

♪ Snap out of it ♪

- ♪ Where's Cher?
She is not here ♪

Okay. I got zero Cher
from that performance.

So you have to do this as Cher.

That's the most important part.

- Are you supposed
to be doing Cher?

You sound like Madea.

This is not Tyler Perry
Presents.

This is Cher the Rusical.

Get it together.

- And...

♪ You're not saying any words ♪

♪ Where are they? ♪

- I forgot them.

- I need you to remember them.

- Eureka, you're going to do

the Destiny's Child
"Say My Name" thing.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven. Ready?

So five, six, seven, eight.

And boom, two, three, four,
five, six, seven.

Let me hear your words.
Five, six, seven, eight.

- ♪ Got tired of starring
in the same old movies ♪

♪ So I just set sail... ♪
or something.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Is it okay if we work on
choreography for a second

without me
trying to sing it, too?

I'm struggling because
my nerves are so bad

about this whole singing thing.

- Do it again, and can you
try to say the words?

- Um...

Is it okay if I don't?

- If every other person
has done it, you have to do it.

- Okay. I mean, I can try.

- Five, six, seven, eight,
and...

- ♪ Got tired of seeing
the same old movie ♪

[mumbles]

I think I'm going to have
to focus on the choreography

if that's okay.

- Everybody has to sing their
part while they're rehearsing,

and Eureka's trying
to get out of it.

Girl, why do you think
you're so special?

- Eureka, everyone else
has done their lyrics.

You have to try.
You can't give up.

- Okay.

- Ready?
- Oh...

Yeah.
- Five, six, seven, eight and...

- ♪ Got tired of [mumbles]
the same old movies ♪

- Stop.
- [mumbles]

- I can't hear her.

- Sorry, I'm freaking it out.

- Don't keep doubting yourself.

- [scoffs]

- Don't huff.
I didn't at y'all.

- Child.

- People are looking at me
like I just don't wanna sing,

but what they don't know is

as a kid I had
a traumatizing experience.

My dad wanted me to sing
for his friends,

and I was just too nervous
to do it.

He got really upset with me

and it ended up being
a physical altercation,

and it put in my head
this anxiety with singing.

- But we're running really low
on time, so please practice.

Do not give up.

- I'm not.

But for the competition,
I gotta suck it up

and I gotta figure it out.

I don't know how I'm going to,
but I'm gonna have to.

- When you're in doubt, I want
you to think what would Cher do?

- ♪ Don't turn your back
on Cher ♪

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Today we are
going to be live

singing Cher,
the Unauthorized Rusical.

- If I could turn back time,

I'd give myself another day
of rehearsal for this.

Bitch, I don't wanna do this.

I don't wanna do it
worth a damn.

- Aquaria, what are you doing?

- Are you migrating
back with us?

- Yeah.

- Well, welcome back
to civilization.

- I wanna be distracted
while I get ready now.

- Well, welcome back, my dear.

- I'm not necessarily
a very social person,

and I wanna build a stronger
relationship with the girls,

so I moved my makeup station
a little bit closer,

just so we can kiki
a little more.

- Hi, honey.

- Hey, baby.
How are you?

- Good, how you doing?

- I'm terrified.
- Are you?

- I know as soon
as that light comes on me

and I see people sitting there,
I'm gonna like freak out

and wanna go
into the fetal position.

- Well, you know what?

- I live for you.

I'm glad you're still here.
- I know.

I mean, I'm pretty fantastic.

- But you're also
a pathological liar.

[both laugh]

I'm talking with Monet, and
she's been very understanding.

She's really trying
to lift me up.

And it's nice to just kind of
have a sister by your side.

- [imitating Cher]
Oh, oh, oh.

- Girl, I am telling you,

you sound like Mr. Ed
every time you do that.

- What do you sound like?

- I sound like I've won
more challenges than you.

- Aah! You right, bitch.

- Well, I'm gonna need
one of y'all to trip and fall

so I can win a challenge.
Yeah.

I think I need to like
take it up an octave,

'cause like I'm singing
like baritone Cher.

- Monet, come over here
and start getting ready,

'cause you need to take
your makeup up an octave.

[all laugh]
- Yes!

- No, get over here, bitch.

[laughs]

Come on, my little dark lady.

- That got racial?

- Girl, she's giving me

one of them masks from
"The Lion King" from Broadway.

- Did y'all go to Broadway shows
in New York growing up?

- I grew up in Seattle,
and we were poor as hell.

We were not going
to any damn show.

When I was growing up,

we were allowed one hour
of television a week.

We really didn't have access
to pop culture,

so that meant no toys
from the outside world.

Everything that we had

was made by my mother
or by my sister and I.

And that moral stance

was helped by the fact that
we were desperately poor.

Really recently

when my mom started
talking about the shiners,

which are the cans

that you get really cheap
from the grocery store

because the labels came off,
you don't know what's inside.

It could be any f*cking thing,

and you're like,
we're gonna find out today

if dinner is food
or dinner is a condiment.

Sometimes when
we would go to school,

we just had lunch boxes
with no food in them.

- What?
- We were very, very poor.

My mom--my mom
wanted us to be sure

to feel like we
looked like everyone else,

so we still had lunch boxes
and everything.

But there just wasn't always
food in them.

We were just desperate.

It was a really weird life.

But it made me
super creative, so...

- What you up to?

- Are you pressed for time?

- I'm not pressed for time.

Where we going?

- I want to talk
to The Vixen privately.

I want to give her some insight

in the terms
of her relationships

with some of the other queens.

I want to ask you a question.

Do you think
there's something we can do

to keep from like situations
we had last week on "Untucked"

with like Eureka?

- I do not let sh*t fly.

- Have you ev--

Something you said
a couple weeks ago

really struck a nerve with me.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Maybe self-consciously

where you might go
to a place of anger

because Eureka
is a representation

of a lot of what you don't like
in the community.

I think The Vixen suffers
from what we call in Texas

the Angry Black Woman Syndrome.

Every time in The Vixen's life

that she's had to take
a back seat to someone

that had more privilege
than her,

all of that anger
has been bottled up,

and it is now directed
towards Eureka.

Is Vixen handling it
the wrong way? Yes.

Do I understand where
The Vixen is coming from?

Absolutely.

Whatever happens
between you and her,

I want to make sure it's
because of Eureka specifically

and not something bigger than us

that we really have
no control over.

Okay, nobody takes
your feelings from you

and tell you your feeling's
not valid.

But make sure you understand
why you're angry

and what you're angry at.

- But the thing is
in a competition,

when somebody's blissfully
just sliding through,

it is very stressful.

- I'm with you.
I'm with you.

But what's--

- Yeah.

- And strength
doesn't have to be vocal.

The only people
that need to know you're strong

are you and them judges
out there.

I see the hurt
in The Vixen's face,

and I have goosebumps
talking about this

because it is such
a real problem and an issue.

The Vixen is still that kid
struggling to prove

that she's worthy of being heard
and being loved.

And I want you to...

You might be mad at me
when I say this,

but I want you
to stop lying to yourself

that you don't care
what people think about you.

Sometimes to be strong
you have to be a little soft.

To learn how to take that

and turn it into strength
from a place of love.

- Thank you.
- That's the truth.

[RuPaul laughs]

- ♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Welcome to the main stage
of "RuPaul's Drag Race."

One of the original b*tches
of Eastwick, Michelle Visage.

- I think you mean
b*tches of Beastwick.

[all laugh]

- East side.
- Yeah.

- He never sleeps alone.

It's style superstar
Carson Kressley.

- Well, that's because
I never sleep.

I haven't slept since '91.

[all laugh]

- He played a guy on "Girls,"

the super talented
Andrew Rannells.

Are you a Cher fan?
- I am a Cher fan.

The first time I ever
lip synced to a song

was "Gypsies, Tramps,
and Thieves,"

in Joe Castello's basement.

And that's not a euphemism.

[all laugh]

- From "Billy on the Street"

and "American
Horror Story Cult,"

it's Billy Eichner.

Are you a Cher fan?

- I'm a huge Cher fan.

I saw Cher live
on my 21st birthday

on the Believe tour
in Chicago many years ago.

- That wasn't that long ago.

- All right, well,
it wasn't that not long ago.

- And she looks
just the same today.

- Yeah.

- This week
we challenged our queens

to pay tribute to my idol in
Cher, the Unauthorized Rusical.

Not to be confused, of course,

with "The Cher Show,"
the official musical,

coming to Broadway soon.

[imitates Cher]
Get your tickets.

[all laugh]

And tonight on the runway,
category is Glitterific.

- Ooh.

- Gentlemen, start your engines,

and may the best woman win.

- And now the world debut of
Cher the Unauthorized Rusical.

- 3 A.M., Malibu.

- Can't sleep, bed emoji.

Kathy Griffin just left.

That bitch got me all wired up.

Sticking out tongue
and winking emoji.



Can't stop thinking
about when it all began.

Thought bubble emoji.

[music plays]

- ♪ Born in Cali,
mama named me Cherilyn ♪

♪ I was insecure,
but there was a fire within ♪

♪ Skipped school early
and went to Hollywood ♪

♪ Tried to meet every
bigwig that I could ♪

♪ When I met Sonny, he was 27 ♪

♪ I was younger by a few years ♪

Okay, 11.

♪ Short little guy,
he stole my heart ♪

♪ Soon we were on
top of the charts ♪

♪ We were riding the hits ♪

♪ It was all glamour and glitz ♪

♪ We were two sh**ting stars ♪

♪ And we had each other, babe ♪

Sonny believed in me
more than I believed in myself.

And, bitch, we were
just getting started.

Announcer: From Television City
in Hollywood,

"The Sonny and Cher Show."

- ♪ Yes, she's on TV ♪

- Me and Sonny, we're
the hottest show in town,

and they loved us.

- ♪ Yes, she's on TV ♪

- ♪ And every Monday night ♪

♪ Fans stuck around ♪

♪ To see my many gowns ♪

[all laugh]

[new song begins]

♪ My daddy's people
were Armenian ♪

♪ And I would dress up
like an Indian ♪

♪ I wore a headdress,
be a gypsy queen ♪

♪ A fortune-telling witch
from New Orleans ♪

- ♪ Cultural appropriation ♪

- ♪ That's one we never heard ♪

- ♪ Cultural appropriation ♪

- ♪ That wasn't even a word ♪

- ♪ Cultural appropriation ♪

- ♪ Come on,
it was another time ♪

♪ We just called it fashion,
bitch ♪

♪ We evolved with the times ♪

[new song begins]

- ♪ This TV queen,
she hit the scene ♪

♪ Divorcing Sonny
and getting good rocker G ♪

- ♪ Good, good, good rocker G ♪

- ♪ And now I'm with Geffen,
when he was young ♪

♪ I even let Gene Simmons
slip me the tongue ♪

- ♪ Single lady
danced all night ♪

- ♪ And b*rned the candle
at both ends ♪

- The way of love
is a twisted trip ♪

- ♪ But I'd do it again ♪

No regrets, dammit.

[new songs begins]

- ♪ TV's gone, moving on ♪

♪ There's just one thing
that's left for me to do ♪

- ♪ Disco Cher ♪

- ♪ Ride the trend to the end ♪

- ♪ Don't want disco dozen
boogie shoes ♪

- ♪ Disco Cher ♪

- ♪ Make some hits,
flash my tits ♪

God, I've gotta stop wearing
all this cheap crap.

- ♪ Disco Cher ♪

- ♪ Ride this wave ♪
- ♪ Ride this wave ♪

- ♪ To my brain ♪
- ♪ To my brain ♪

♪ This disco craze
will last forever ♪

- ♪ Ha ha ha ♪

- ♪ Gotta do whatever it takes ♪

♪ Even wear roller skates ♪

♪ This arrow
was a bumpy section ♪

Seems like I might need
a new direction.

I didn't know what to do next,

so I called Sonny
on the set of "Fantasy Island."

He told me to believe in myself.

Go into acting
and snap out of it.

[all laugh]
Cue the track.

- ♪ Your career hits the skids
and you're busy with kids ♪

- ♪ Snap out of it ♪

- ♪ When Altman
offers you a scene ♪

♪ In "Come Back, Jimmy Dean" ♪

- ♪ Snap out of it ♪
- Finally.

♪ More roles come if you ask ♪

♪ Like the break
with Mormon Mass ♪

- ♪ Snap out of it ♪

- Just snap out of it.

- ♪ Snap out of it ♪

- You know what I wanna do?
Play a witch in Eastwick.

I don't need a damn broomstick.

♪ Snap out of it ♪
I screwed up all those words.

- ♪ Did you strut by the moon? ♪

♪ Slap Nic Cage,
make him swoon ♪

Snap out of it, b*tches.

[drum roll]

I won an Oscar, dammit.

Okay, now what?

[new song begins]

- Whoo!

- ♪ Got tired of starring
in the same old movie ♪

♪ So I stripped with sailors
on the MTV ♪

- ♪ MTV ♪

- ♪ They wouldn't stop
with the tabloid headlines ♪

♪ No one had ever seen
an ass like mine ♪

♪ But I was only
getting started ♪

♪ In new adventures
yet uncharted ♪

♪ I got in amazing shape
and sold a fitness tape ♪

- ♪ Don't turn your back
on Cher ♪

[all laugh]

- Don't bring it back, baby.

Ho.

♪ Till my bank balance ♪

♪ Is longer than my hair ♪

♪ Don't turn your back on Cher ♪

- ♪ Don't turn your back
on Cher ♪

- ♪ Got tattoos everywhere ♪

- ♪ Got tattoos everywhere ♪

- ♪ And thanks to my hustle ♪

♪ I'm a billionaire ♪

Ho.

- In breaking news, Sonny Bono
has passed away unexpectedly.

- With Sonny gone,

I didn't have anyone around
to believe in me,

so I needed to believe
in myself. Oh...

[all laugh]

- ♪ Who am I supposed to call? ♪

- ♪ She can't go ♪

- ♪ I sure am
gonna miss that dude ♪

- ♪ Bye-bye, Sonny ♪

- ♪ But since he's not around ♪

♪ I need a brand new sound ♪

♪ Vocoder,
something I can believe ♪

♪ The answer is technology ♪

♪ Vocoder, a new trick
up my sleeve ♪

♪ Turn into a robot
from outer space ♪

♪ And I know
the gays will buy this ♪

♪ And I know
I need to try this ♪

♪ Now my legacy's secure ♪

♪ Time to do another
Cher-well tour ♪

I invented reinvention, b*tches.

[new song begins]

- ♪ When our world is destroyed
and the end of time approaches ♪

♪ Two things will be left ♪

♪ Cher and cockroaches ♪

- ♪ Cher and roaches,
cockroaches and Cher ♪

- ♪ When all else is gone,
we'll still be there ♪

- ♪ Cher and roaches,
cockroaches and Cher ♪

- ♪ Get used to us,
we ain't going nowhere ♪

- [laughs]

- Maybe we'll watusi.

[all laugh]

[all talking at once]

- I'm going to talk to my agent.

[laughter and applause]

- ♪ I want you to remember me ♪

- Category is Glitterific.

- ♪ Snap sh*t ♪

- First up, Kameron Michaels.

Welcome to my home.

[all laugh]

- Oh, the lion, the witch,
and the cameltoe.

- Mm.

I am serving Barbie
meets Meryl Streep she-devil,

and I am the romance novelist

that is too rich to care what
anyone else thinks about her.

This author is feeling
her rose-gold fantasy.

- A little J-Lo
meets Joan Rivers.

- Yes.
- Candy Spelling realness.

[all laugh]
- Oh, my God.

- Monet X Change.
- Black gold.

Texas tea.

- You know what?
Black thighs matter.

- Yes!

- I'm giving you
body-ody-ody-ody.

I grew up
as a chubby little kid,

so for me to be on the largest
stage of drag in the world,

showing my body the way I am,

I'm feeling very empowered,


This is all collard greens
and oxtails, girls.

- Glitterific?
More like glitter-asstic.

[all laugh]

- The Vixen.

- I'm sorry, but I can see
right through this.

- Yeah.
- It is well constructed paper.

[all laugh]

- I worked on this outfit
for a whole 24 hours.

It is literally pieces
of construction foam,

filleted in glitter
on both sides.

I am sparkling head to toe.

I feel magical.

- Not Mariah Carey's "Glitter."

- No.
- Mm-mm.

- Aquaria.

- Oh, Mary.

- She had me at halo.

[all laugh]

- This look is like a very
dramatic baroque work of art

mixed with a disco-y
seventies vibe.

I decided to create a sheer veil
and actually rhinestoned that

so it looked like my eyes
were made of rhinestones.

- I can't see sh*t.

- Yes, mother of God.

[all laugh]

- Asia O'Hara.

- It takes a lot of balls
to wear something like this.

[all laugh]

At least three.
[all laugh]

- I feel like this is
one of my most Asia looks,

because I love body suits.

Everything is glitter.

My costume is glitter.
My hat is glitter.

My hair is glitter.
My eyeshadow is glitter.

I love this look.

- Her Insane Clown Posse
is on fire.

- Yes.

- Clowntown Julie Brown.

[Michelle laughs]

- Eureka.

- More glitter, please.
- Mm.

- I chose to do a fun,

very glitter geometric gown
with a lot of attitude.

My hair is giving you

like a glittered
jawbreaker love fantasy.

- Now off to the grocery store.

- Just something simple
to run errands.

- Yes.

- Hey, Eureka,
which way you gonna go?

[all laugh]

Miz cr*cker.
Package for Miz cr*cker.

- Somebody had too much glitter
in their burrito.

[all laugh]

- And who hasn't vomited glitter
amongst us?

- True.
- You're absolutely right.

- I know the other girls
are going to think of glitter

as a craft project.

My glitter
is a little bit crass,

a little bit comedy,
a little bit drama.

It's my most spectacular look.

I have my skull puking
and the judges gagging.

- If you like it,
you should put a ring on it.

[all laugh]

- A huge ring.

- Welcome, ladies.

It's time
for the judges' critiques.

Starting with Kameron Michaels.

- This runway look,
I mean, this is glitterific.

I love the harem pant detail.

- Yeah, it felt very
Beverly Hills to me.

A little like old school
Joan Rivers on the Tonight Show.

You're too young
to know what that is.

[all laugh]

- To me, the Cher was
the most spot on Cher voice.

You embodied her.

You even got the vibrato right.

- ♪ That I could ♪

- You were the first one
out of the box,

and you really set the tone.

- Yeah, you set the bar
very, very high.

It was such
a great impersonation.

- Tonight is a great night
for you.

- Thank you so much.

- Up next, Monet X Change.

- Tonight on the runway,
the makeup is fun.

I love that headpiece
with those big earrings.

But part of the illusion
is gone.

We see tape.

- I know, girl.

- Yeah, with a glitterific
challenge, I just want more.

When you saw it close up,

you're like, oh, I can see
like your nipple cover,

and then there's some tape
on the side.

It wasn't top notch.

- But I loved your Cher.

It was one of my favorites.

Cher, to me, is about attitude,

and your attitude's
exactly right.

- And it really was like
you got her at her core.

I just thought it was also
spot on and perfect.

I loved it.

- Thank you, Monet.
- Thank you, Ru.

- Up next, The Vixen.

- I really like
this runway look.

I love the expl*si*n of color.

- I think your hair is fun.

It's very Thank God It's Friday,
if you guys remember.

- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Yeah.

It's not my favorite,
but I think it's fun.

- When it comes
to the Cher part,

it was a good performance.

It just didn't feel
very Cher to me.

- I felt no Cher at all.

- My look, that specific look,

is pulled from her performance
with the Jackson Five.

- The Jacksons, yeah.

- Having a Cher reference

that wasn't like
as instantly recognizable,

I was very worried about.

- Well, that look is
instantly recognizable to me

and to long-time Cher fans.

It's an iconic moment when she
joined the Jacksons on her show.

- With the hair that she had
in that performance,

you couldn't do one of those.

- There's still like she has
body movements that she does

that are really Cher.

Even when her hair was like
that, she would still do them.

- Up next, our Lord
and Savior Aquaria.

- This is so gorgeous.

The details, the construction,
the makeup,

and those panels
that are covering your eyes.

That looks like
it would be a costume

that razzle dazzled
"Jesus Christ Superstar."

- Any time you can make
Catholicism sexy,

I'm all for it.

- Mm-hmm.
- Uh-huh.

- Praise the Lord.
- With your Cher,

I didn't really get Cher
from it.

What I got was Madonna
at the Brit awards

or something like that.

- I thought
you were really funny.

You had the joke about
the clothes being cheap,

and that felt very Cher to me.

- Well, during the runthrough,

I was having a lot of issues
with the cape.

And I was like, to hell with
this chickenshit, you know.

And Todrick loved it,
so thanks for noticing.

[all laugh]

- [imitating Cher] And that's
called showbiz, kids.

[all laugh]

Thanks, Aquaria.
- Thank you, RuPaul.

- Up next, Asia O'Hara.

- This look, I think, is so fun
and dare I say bold.

Bold to come out
as a sexy clown.

- The only part that
I don't love are the shoes,

because it goes sparkle,
sparkle, sparkle, suede.

- Let's talk about your Cher.

I wasn't getting
"Moonstruck" era Cher.

- Finally!

- And there were like
several iconic bits

that you just
weren't selling for me.

- That was
a really pivotal role.

She was, you know,
snap out of it.

She was the--
that was the New York Cher,

and it kind of was missing.

- Up next, Eureka.

- This runway look
I think is gorgeous.

The embellishment with
the sparkles in the hair.

Even the nails and the rings.

It's just great attention
to detail.

- I don't, however, love
the random stripes on your face

because it kind of almost
wasn't necessary.

- I liked the Cher
because it made me laugh.

I thought it was bold.

- But when you first came out,
you were a little temporary.

You got there towards
the end of the song,

and then you really went for it.

But it kind of was a, you know,
a grower, not a shower.

- Are you not super confident,
like, live singing?

- Honestly,
I have a really crazy fear

of singing in front of people.

And it took a lot for me to
get to that comfortable place,

so I'm just proud of myself.

- Yeah, you got other things
to worry about.

- Right, like cholesterol.

[all laugh]

- [laughs]
Thank you, Eureka.

- Thank you all.

- Next up, Miz cr*cker.

- This look is so beautiful
and scary,

it's like very glamorous
performance art.

- Yeah, this to me

is very like McQueen
meets Phantom of the Opera.

- I would have liked
to have seen a lash on that eye,

but other than that,
I think it's really glamorous,

and I think you look
really different

to anything you've done before.

- Your Cher, that was tricky,

because the vocoder thing,
it didn't bowl me over,

but I think you pulled it off.

- There was so much
over Cher stuff going on

that you took it
to the opposite end,

where ♪ everything had her ♪

and you couldn't
really understand it.

- You nailed the moments
that we needed to get.

You nailed the comedy.

And you finished off
the whole number very strong.

- All right, thank you, ladies.

While you untuck,

the judges and I
will deliberate.

All right. Now just between
us squirrel-friends,

I want to know what you think.

Kameron Michaels.

- I thought she was
one of the top of the night

in both categories.

- Yes.
She had to open the show.

That's always a tough job,
and she nailed it.

- The Cher voice, I thought
that was really well done.

- We had the look of Cher,
the makeup of Cher, the sound.

- She had a great night.

- Monet X Change.

- That was my favorite Cher.
It was funny.

It was very confident.

- That performance was
very committed to that vibe,

that Cher vibe.

- That's my favorite Cher-a.

I love the 1970s--

- I think you need Cher-apy.

[all laugh]

- She really embodied Cher.

That's hard to do

when you don't really
look like Cher necessarily.

Necess-Cher-ily.
- Uh-huh.

- [laughs] The Vixen.

- In terms of the Cher,
I wasn't feeling it.

I didn't see it.

- Out of all the performances,

I felt like she had
the least amount of Cher.

It was probably
the worst for me.

- That wasn't my worst Cher
for me.

I thought the choreography
was well ex*cuted.

I'm giving her a lifeline
with her dancing.

- I thought the biggest problem

was that she was so disconnected
from the audience.

You could see that she was
working it out in her head,

but she didn't really let us,
the audience,

in on the performance.

Aquaria.

- The Cher wasn't that Cher-y.

- She nailed her choreography.

I just wish there was more Cher.

- Yeah, maybe not
the best of the night,

but I like that she took
something that was a negative

and made it into a positive.

She had a costume

that was kind of
a little bit cumbersome,

and then she worked it
into a funny line

where she said, oh, I'm tired
of these cheap clothes.

- I like that she also knew

to tell us the story of
about how that was her line.

I thought that was
pretty savvy, actually.

- I really enjoyed
her Cher performance

because it was captivating.

Say during Vixen's performance,

it gave me an opportunity

to look at the dancers' asses.

- Oh, my God.

- Asia O'Hara.

- It was during this number

that I checked out
the dancers' asses.

- You guys were checking out
the dancers' asses.

I actually left, had a whole
Grindr hookup, and came back.

[all laugh]

- Definitely seemed
the least prepared.

- When she came out as Cher,
I was just befuddled.

I was "Moonstruck," if you will.

- This was not her strong suit,
like singing and dancing.

When she was performing,

it looked like she was
thinking more about like,

okay, what comes next?

- She is a seasoned queen,

and I'm surprised
at this misstep.

Eureka.

- Only half of her Cher
was kind of good.

- Half a Cher?
- Half a Cher.

- She came out,
she was a little temporary.

- You said temporary.
Did you mean tentative?

- That, too, but temporary means
it wasn't gonna be forever.

- Okay.
- [chuckles]

- Yeah, I was just
sort of taken aback

by her stage presence
in general,

because she really like
locks eyes with you

and like takes
a piece of your soul.

- My wallet is missing.

- Wait a second.
So is my kidney.

- I enjoyed her Cher,

and I didn't mind the temporary
nature of her performance.

- Shut up.
[all laugh]

- Miz cr*cker.

- The Cher,
it didn't necessarily

feel like Cher to me,
if I'm being totally honest.

- Yeah.
- But, you know, it was okay.

- It's a bit of
a mush-mouth situation.

I couldn't really understand
what she was saying.

- I think part of that was
the gag with the auto-tune.

I really like Miz cr*cker.

She's always
a little bit whacky,

and I thought that made
for a good performance.

Can we critique
the dancers now?

[all laugh]

- Silence.

I've made my decision.

Bring back my girls.

- Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

- Monet X Change, you were
truly great singing live,

but your glitter bodysuit
came off as pre-taped.

You're safe.

Kameron Michaels, bang, bang.

This week
you hit the bull's eye.

Con-drag-ulations, you're the
winner of this week's challenge.

[cheers and applause]

- You've won
a luxury VIP get-away

at the Sofitel Los Angeles.

- Thank you.

- You may step
to the back of the stage.

- Eureka, you're safe.

- Thank you.

- Asia O'Hara, we were down
with your glitter clown,

but your movie star Cher
was not Oscar worthy.

I'm sorry, my dear, but you
are up for elimination.

- Miz cr*cker...

You're safe.

You may join the other girls.

- Thank you, Ru.

- The Vixen.
Your glitterific was terrific,

but your Cher
didn't top the charts.

Aquaria, on the runway,

your glitter look
was immaculate,

but your disco Cher
didn't take me home.

The Vixen.

I'm sorry, my dear,
but you are up for elimination.

Aquaria, you're safe.
You may join the other girls.

Two queens stand before me.

Ladies, this is your last chance
to impress me

and save yourself
from elimination.

The time has come...
[thunder]

for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your life.

- The Vixen and I
have really connected this week,

but I'm very confident
in my ability

to outperform any of these hos.

- Good luck,
and don't f*ck it up.

- We're going to dance
and have some fun, fun, fun.

[music plays]

Dig.

♪ The chills
that you spill up my back ♪

♪ Keep me filled with
satisfaction when we're done ♪

♪ Satisfaction
of what's to come ♪

♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪

♪ No, I couldn't ask
for another ♪

♪ Your groove I do deeply dig ♪

♪ No walls, only the bridge ♪

♪ My supper dish,
my succotash wish ♪

- Sing it, baby.

- Aah!

- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪

♪ Groove is in the heart ♪

♪ Groove is
in the heart ♪

- Watch out!

- ♪ DJ Soul was on a roll ♪

♪ I been told he can't be sold ♪

♪ He's not vicious
or malicious ♪

♪ Just de-lovely and delicious ♪

♪ I couldn't ask for another ♪

[all laugh]

- One, two, three, ooh!

- ♪ Groove is in the heart ♪

♪ Groove is in the heart ♪

♪ Groove is
in the heart ♪

♪ Groove is in the heart ♪

[cheers and applause]

- Yes!

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

Asia O'Hara,
shantay you stay.

Asia, you may join
the other girls.

- Thank you so much.
Thank you.

- The Vixen,

you came here to fight,
and you leave a champion.

Now sashay away.

- Thank you.

[applause]

Well, I guess
I'll go run for president.

I really wanted to bring
the crown home for Chicago.

But you know what?

I don't need a crown
to know that I'm a queen.

That doesn't mean
it hurts any less.

[sobs]

The fight is not over.

There is much to see.

Stay tuned.

- Con-drag-ulations, ladies.

And remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

- Amen.
- Amen.

- All right,
now let the music play.

- ♪ To-to-to to the moon ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

♪ To the moon ♪

♪ Come on and take me away ♪

♪ To-to-to to the moon ♪