03x11 - Cyborg Shark att*ck

[bunniefuu]

Man, that movie was awesome!

Yeah, Shark Beach definitely
lived up to the hype.

Although I couldn't hear most
of it over Leo's screaming.

Shark!
Ahhhh!

No, Chase, that's not right.

It was more like, ahhhh!

Oh, it was not that loud.

Dude, girls said you were
screaming like a girl.

Look, it's hard
for me to talk about,

but when I was younger

I had a very traumatic
experience with a shark.

You did?

It was the dead of summer.

I was playing in the water
when all of a sudden

everything turned red.

That's when I realized.

Realized what?

It bit me.

A great white?

No.

Hammerhead?
No.

Tiger?
No.

Thresher?
No.

Bull shark?
Okay, it was rubber.

Wait, wait, wait.

You were bitten
by a toy shark at the beach?

No.

It was a bathtub.

But that water was choppy.

And I was not the only victim.

Mr. Froggy is still missing.

You know what else is missing?

What?

Your manhood.

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Living in my basement?

Hey, we still studying

for our health class
CPR exam tonight?

Your place at seven?

Well, I was talking to her,
but you're welcome to join.

She's plastic
and even her stomach

is turning from that one.

Hey, Janelle,
aren't you a little old

to be playing with dolls?

Give it to Chase.

It's not a doll.
It's a CPR dummy.

Or in your case,
another inanimate object

that's smarter than you.

Oh.

Hey, Leo, maybe after
we're done studying

we can go see Shark Beach.

Yeah.
Already saw it.

Two thumbs down.

Really?
I loved it.

And eight fingers up!

I love sharks.
They fascinate me.

Me too!

They're the most misunderstood
creatures on the planet.

I know!
So they eat people.

Leave them alone.

I tried to see the movie
again last night,

but someone kept screaming
the whole time.

Yeah, we were
at the movies, too.

Guess who the screamer was?

It was them!

They screamed.
They are the screamers.

Ahhh!
Leo, help!

Tell us
when the sharks are gone!

You screamed.

Screamers!

Leo, what are you doing?

Yeah, that's not cool.

You're right.

It's rude to laugh
in your faces.

Let's go do it in the cafeteria.

Aaahh!

Tasha, I'm home!

You ready to go?

Hey, she got called
away for work,

but anything
you had planned with her

you can do with me.

We were getting a mani-pedi.

Perfect!

These mani
is ready for his pedi.

On second thought, I'm good.

No.
No, no, no.

You and I are going
to be spending

some quality
father-daughter time.

So who are you
totes crushing on?

Is he adorbs?

What?

[ Knocking on door ]

Why do you bother knocking
if you're just gonna barge in?

I wasn't knocking.

I dislocated my shoulder
body-checking someone

and I was cramming it
back in place.

Oh.

Bingo.

Love that meaty pop.

Hey, can we get
a heads up the next time

you decide to cram something
back into its socket?

Anyhoo,
the Mission Creek Country Club

is accepting new members
and I need your help.

Uh, why do you wanna
join a country club?

Because my summer's wide open

and I'm tired of all
the wolf whistles

dipping my piglets
in the public pool.

I need to be ogled
by fancy people.

I'm sorry, after the word piglet
I retreated into my safe place.

Look, I have to be interviewed
by a country club rep

and I hate interviews.

They make me
all nervous and sweaty.

Did you just come
from an interview?

So you want me to coach
you on what to say.

No, I need you to come with me.

I told them you're my husband.

You what?!

When I get interviewed
I get nervous

and when I get nervous
I start making up lies.

I can't help it,
it's a medical condition.

See, I just did it right there.

Look, I'm not pretending
to be your husband.

Hmm, guess I'm gonna
have to call the cops on,

Donnie Don and the Robot Bunch.

Okay, fine. I'll do it.

But this blackmailing
thing's getting old.

So is this marriage.

Now shut your yap
and get in the car.

I can't believe
Leo told everyone

that we were the screamers
at the movie.

It's time for a little revenge.

I got it.
We go to the aquarium...

No, Adam, we're not gonna
throw Leo in a shark t*nk.

No, I was gonna throw
you in the shark t*nk

and make Leo rescue you.

Look, Mr. Davenport developed
a school of cyborg sharks.

He used to guard his top secret
underwater facility.

Why didn't he just use humans?

He's cheap.

See, the sharks are designed
to att*ck intruders.

He still has a few prototypes
in storage.

Hmm.

Whoa!
He looks vicious.

I'm gonna name him Carl.

We can use Mr. Davenport's
hover technology

to re-purpose it for land.

I'll control it with this tablet

and then we can scare
Leo in front of Janelle.

Awesome, right?

Why would you put
your hand in there?

Because I didn't think
my head would fit.

Dinner party?
Hmm, yes, I will.

What are you wearing?

It's a country club,
not a funeral.

Yeah, it's not a bagpipe
player convention either.

How'd you like me
to pipe your bag?

Mr. and Mrs. Davenport,
I presume.

That's us.

Please take a seat.

I see here you play golf.

What's your handicap?

I have a second tailbone.

Works like a kickstand
when I sit down.

Oh, there it goes.

Well, how nice for you.

Our club hasn't added
new members in over a decade.

What makes
the Davenports qualified?

Oh, boy.

Uh...

Something hot in here?

Ma'am, you probably
don't recognize me

because I look that much younger
in person, but it is me.

The one and only
Donald Davenport.

Davenport Industries?

America's most dashing tech
mogul three years running?

Oh, boy.

We're less concerned
with what our members do

than how they behave.

We focus more on integrity.

These mints are free, right?

Tell me why your family
should be part of ours.

Family?
Do we need a family?

'Cause we've got one.

We've got a, uh...

a daughter.

No, we don't.

Yes, yes.
Sorry.

Yes, a daughter.
We have a daughter.

Then you should have
brought her with you.

We did.
She's waiting in the car.

Stop talking!

By all means, bring her in.

Great, now what are we gonna do?

I don't know, I saw some
kids in the parking lot?

Just let me handle it.

Can you excuse me
for just one second?

I know what you're thinking.

Trophy wife.

[ Cell phone ringing ]

Hello.

Perry won't stop lying.

She said we have a daughter,

so I need you to super-speed
down and join the fun.

Ha, no way.

Wait, will this get me out
of father-daughter time?

Get down here.
You and I will have

plenty of father-daughter
time in prison!

Get off the phone
and let's do this.

There's my ugly duckling.

All right, it's your turn
to give her mouth-to-mouth.

Okay, but shouldn't I at least
take her out to dinner first?

You better learn CPR fast,
because your jokes are dying.

What's going on?

I don't know.

Uh-uh.

Is that what I think it is?

If you think it's a lame
attempt by my brothers

to scare me with a stupid
rubber fin, then yes.

Why would they do that?

They are the ones
afraid of sharks.

You know kids.

They're just weird.

Man, the cyborg shark
is working perfectly.

Yeah, let's release
the other two sharks

before my hand
get stuck in them.

Yeah.

All right, all right, all right.

You got me.

Now cut it out
or Janelle's gonna leave.

Should have thought about
that before you mocked us

in front of the whole school.

Look.

Sometimes with the ladies
you have to embellish

to make yourself look good.

You'll understand this

when you have ladies
of your own one day.

Well, you will.

Hey!

Chase will have a girlfriend.

Thank you, Adam.

Yeah, I mean, once
Leo and Janelle are done

practicing CPR on her,
she's all yours.

Are we done?
Is she in? Can I go?

Not quite yet.

We like to know
what our members do

outside of the club.

Any hobbies you'd like
to tell me about?

None that are legal.

Travel!

We like to travel.

So do I.

Peru is my favorite spot.

I collect Mochican pottery
from there.

What a coincidence.

So do we.

We have some in the car.

Well, I'd love to see it.

Um, sweetie, can you
go out to the car

and get the pottery from Peru?

Really?

Mint?

Finally.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Next you'll tell me you collect
Inuit art from Alaska.

We do!

Alaska?

Do you have a parka
that I could borrow?

Hey, Janelle, what are
you doing up there?

Trying to remember
why I ever come to this house.

Your fake shark
just ate my real shoe!

Whoa.

Whoa.

I thought you turned it off.

I did.

Oh no, the cyborg shark must
have artificial intelligence.

It's ignoring my commands.

Oh, calm down.
Just hit the off switch.

I know exactly where it is,

I was elbow deep in that
thing for two hours.

Whoa!

Where'd it go?

Man, you think you know
a mechanical shark

and then he just turns on you.

The shark is blocking
my commands to shut it down

and it's taken over
the home security system.

So there is a shark
loose in our house

that's trying to eat us?

We're going to die!

Since we're all goners
there's a few things

I need to get off my chest.

I've always wanted
to be a florist.

But I don't wanna pick 'em.
I just wanna arrange 'em.

Oh, and Leo was the one who
was screaming at the movies.

That was you?

You said you weren't
afraid of sharks.

Why did you lie to me?

Uh...

Hey, you know what'll fix this?

Some daffodils.

I have to admit, you didn't
strike me as people

I'd want to see strolling
our grounds

in tennis shorts,
but how could I not lobby

for a family who shares
so many of my own interests?

And to think we had all
of these lovely items

you adore just sitting
in the trunk of our car.

Welcome to the club.

Hear that, Donnie?
We did it!

That's great.
Let's get out of here snookums.

I'll have your ID badges
ready tomorrow.

Oh, I didn't catch your name.

It's Bree.
It's Julia.

It's Julia.
It's Bree.

You don't know your
own daughter's name?

I get all my kids'
names mixed up.

Wait, you didn't tell me
you had more children.

Yep, six in all,
and twenty-one grandchildren,

couple llamas,
and a goldfish named Silvio.

Who are not out in the car.

This is getting ridiculous.

We've been up here forever.

I'm out of here.

Janelle, no!

Look out!
Jump on the couch!

Wait, we have two
smaller sharks.

Maybe I can program them
to att*ck the big one.

Oh, they're right here.

That's weird.
Where'd they go?

I think I found 'em.

So you didn't get in?

But, I mean, there's
plenty of other places

that will let you in like
a truck stop or prison.

You don't get it.

I'm always
the outsider looking in,

but here people would've been
forced to hangout with me.

They would've found
a way not to.

Guess I'm gonna
be alone forever.

Thanks for trying.

Look, I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but I actually kind of
feel bad for her.

Me too.

Oh well, let's go.

We have to try at least
one more time.

You're right.

Sometimes I forget that
underneath her layers of venom,

there lies a troll with a tiny

dried out raisin of a heart.

All right, come on.

You'll have to reconsider.

We only lied about being
a family to impress you

because she wants to be a part
of this club more than anything.

Yeah, Terry Perry
may not be family,

but we'd be honored if she was.

Trust me, there is no
living thing on Earth

quite like her.

Not happening.

Oh, well, perhaps my checkbook
could make it happen?

As I said, our club prides
itself on its integrity.

I believe you spell "integrity"
with three more zeroes.

Congratulations, you're in!

Not so fast!

I don't want any
part of this dump.

ALL: What?

You heard me.

I always wanted to be
a part of something,

but now I realized I already am.

You love me.

Then why would I want to be here
when we've got each other?

All summer long.

What? No!

Well, that backfired.

Ah!

Hang in there, Janelle.

What are we gonna do?

We can't use our bionics
in front of her.

Leo, do something!

Help!

No!

[ Leo screaming ]

[ fish growling ]

Uh-oh.
Oh, no.

It's okay.
I'm all right.

Where is he?

I don't know.

Sorry, sharks.

This beach is closed.

You did it!

Thank you for saving me,

and for buying me
a new pair of shoes.

I'm a size 7.

Great job!

Since you took
down the big shark,

the other one's
automatically deactivated.

Dude, I can't believe you got
over your fear of sharks.

I guess I was more afraid
of never having a girlfriend.

Wait.

How were you able to deactivate
the shark without getting bit?

Easy. I jammed
the dummy's head in its mouth

and turned it off.

I took that thing down
and didn't even get a scratch.

Yep.
Not a scratch.

[ Slurping ]

Mmm.

Minty.

You know, some people do
that with their mouth closed.

'Cause they don't know
how to get the flavor out.

Get used to it, I'm gonna
be here all summer long.

Guys, she's choking!

Leo, you know CPR.
Give her mouth-to-mouth.

You don't give someone
who's choking CPR,

you give them the Heimlich.

Oh, I know how to do that.

Get up.

Did that just go in your...

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

It's okay!

I know mouth-to-mouth!

Ooh, no!

No! No! No!