02x12 - Trucked Out

[bunniefuu]

All right, Adam.

I borrowed big d's
hydrogen-powered golf cart

to help you practice
for your driving test.

First step, seat belts.

Okay... focus.

[ Grunts ]

[ Seatbelt clicks ]
Yes!

Zero to buckle
in under five seconds.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, look,
a dummy driving a dummy.

Ooh, what's this button do?

No!

Aah!

Brake!

[ Brakes screech,
chase continues screaming ]

[ Grunts ]

Wish all buttons did that.

The world's first bionic
super-humans.

They're stronger than us,
faster, smarter.

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

♪♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

♪ lab rats ♪

♪ Lab rats ♪

I can't believe Adam's
not back from his driving test.

What's taking him so long?

Two words: Adam. Test.

Man, if he passes,
it's good news for us

and bad news
for everyone on the road.

[ Chuckles ]

Or the sidewalk.

Well, he has to pass.

I need him to drive me
to that party on Saturday.

What party?

[ Chuckles ]

The one you weren't invited to.

You got invited

to Caroline Davis' party
and I didn't?

Neither did I!

Well, no surprise there.

But why were you invited?

Oh, Bree, I'm climbing
the social ladder.

There are now
three or four ladies

who make eye contact
with me in the hallway.

Okay, it's two!
But I'm going to the party.

[ Door opening ]

He's home!

[ All groan ]

It's just you.

Nice to see you, too.

Sorry, mom.
How's it going?

Great. I've had the best day.
It all started when...

Save it for later, woman!
Adam's here!

Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you

mission creek's
newest fully licensed driver!

Adam, that's you.

Adam: Oh, right.

Woo-hoo, I passed!

[ All cheering ]

He really impressed me.

He got a 96 on the test.

I didn't even know scores
went up that high!

Oh, and get this,
Mr. Davenport said

if I passed,
he'd buy me a car.

What?!

Well, in my defense,

I never thought
he would pass.

Yeah, none of us did.

Preachin' to the choir,
people.

Donald, are you sure
he's ready for a car?

Remember what happened
when you bought him a bike?

The bell still works.

[ Dings bell ]

Um... to be fair, honey,

Adam is a lot more
responsible now.

He worked very hard
to get his driver's license,

and I think he
should be rewarded.

[ Imitates driving noises,
brakes screeching, expl*si*n ]

I don't know.

Don't worry,
I promise I will get Adam

the safest car available.

The safest car is the one
he isn't driving.

Not true.

I've caused many wrecks
as a pedestrian.

Okay, let's go.

I don't care what car it is,

as long as you give me a ride
to Caroline Davis' party.

I don't know if you heard...

I was invited.

Enough!

Take care, ladies.
See you at the party.

Oh, did I tell you
I was invited to the par...

Both: Yes!

There's my little boy!

Mind if I join you?

What are you
doing here, Tasha?

I'm here because I decided
to run for President of the pta!

Oh, that's nice.

What school?!
'Cause I know it's not this one!

With Adam getting his license

and you going to parties,

it made me realize
that you're all growing up.

So I'm going to get a lot more
involved in your school lives.

Well, Leo could
definitely use

a chaperone for
the party this weekend.

No!
No, no, no!

Mom, why are you doing this!

What is missing in your life?

I can pay for art classes!

Oh, Leo, this will be fun!

If I get elected
I will be here all the time!

We'll eat lunch, gossip,

I can talk you up to the gals.

The gals?

Get her out!
Get her out!

Don't worry.

Once the ladies see
how mom rocks it,

ooo!
You are going to be so popular.

Both: You really are.

Hi, I'm Leo's mom.

I'm running
for President of the pta,

which is "pretty totally
awesome," right?

No!

Be sure to tell your parents
to vote for me: Tasha Davenport!

T-dav to you kids.

Holler!

Moms...

We all got 'em, am I right?

The 2006 firefly
is a great choice.

It's safe enough for grandma,

yet flashy enough for...

Grandma.

Sweet.

And I know we
got a great deal

because I am a
master negotiator!

Oh, that's one thing
I'd call you.

I don't know what that means.

[ Phone ringing ]

Excuse me.

This is work.

Hello?

What?!

Well, would they be
throwing a surprise party

inside a nuclear reactor?

We gotta go.

Ahh, just when I started
to like you.

Everybody likes me.

We'll finish this tomorrow.

No problem,
but the firefly will be gone.

I plan on selling it to someone
I can actually make money on.

You're gonna sell my car?!

That's just a sales tactic,
Adam. Come on, we gotta go.

Oh, but, no,
we're almost done.

Can't I just
finish up without you?

[ Laughs ]
No!

[ Sighs ]
Come on!

You said yourself

I'm acting more
responsible than ever.

Plus, I really
want that car.

Fine, I'll see you
back at the house.

Sally, Sally, Sally!

Stop singing happy birthday

and put on your Hazmat suit,
I'll be right...

So, here we are,

two adults, finishing up
an automotive transaction.

Where shall I put
my John peacock?

Just sign right here.

Uh-huh.

You know...

Now that I think about it,

there's one more vehicle
you might want to look at.

Okay, I'll look at it.

But unless it's shaped
like a giant hot dog,

I'm probably not interested.

Guys, get this.

I am the only candidate
for pta president.

I'm gonna win!

Car washes, bake sales,
fund raisers.

I'll be here all the time.

That is great news.

Leo's gonna be so happy.

Ahem.

We have to stop her.

Uh, we?

What's in it for us?

Oh, come on!
I'm desperate!

Well, you could get us
into your cool party.

Oh, Bree. That's cute.

But at the end of the day,

I am who I am and you are who...

All right, I'll get you
in the party!

Just tell me how we're
get rid of my mom.

Easy.

We just have to find someone

to run against her and win.

Right, someone who's
power hungry and ruthless

and enjoys crushing
other people's dreams.

Go home, maggots!

It's 3:30
and I wanna chain up!

And, just like I promised,

I got Adam a very safe
and practical car.

Look, I know equations.

Adam plus safe
doesn't exactly work.

So, where is he?

Maybe he forgot how to get home.

Again.

Come on, four times in one week?

What are the odds?

You guys get the stapler.

I'll go get
the "lost Adam" flyers.

Adam: Guys!
Check out my new ride!

He's here!

Bree: Let's go.

Isn't it awesome?

And I only had to fill the t*nk
twice on the way home.

What happened?

You were supposed
to buy the firefly!

Well, yeah,
but the truck is ways safer

than that dinky little car.

When I drove off the lot,

I crushed that thing
like a tin can.

I knew I shouldn't have left
you alone to close the deal.

You left him alone?

With his checkbook!

See, this is what happens

when parents aren't involved
in their kids' lives.

I'm involved in their lives.

We go on missions all the time.

Their real lives.

When was the last time
you showed up at school?

Oh, he was just
there last week.

Thank you.

Yeah, he pulled us
out of class

so we could all play
laser tag together.

You've seen his grades.
What difference would it make?

Look, we'll take
the truck back tomorrow.

Fine!

And while we're there,

we should probably pick up
your checkbook.

Guys, guess what?

What?

Leo!

No.

I'm the new chemistry teacher,
Mr. Tate.

[ High-pitched scream ]

So, get this.

I checked the pta election rules

and you don't have to be
a parent to run for president.

Principal Perry
is totally eligible.

Well, that's great!

And you know that if she runs,

she's gonna cheat
and make sure she wins.

You can always
count on that woman

to do the wrong thing.

But how do we
convince her to run?

The only things
that motivate that woman

are revenge, rage,
and kitty calendars.

Well, then we just
have to find a way

to make her mad at Tasha

and then trick her
into doing it.

How?

Maybe a little bionic vocal
manipulation is in order.

[ In Tasha's voice ]
There's my little bug-a-boo.

Come give mommy some sugar!

Okay, that never
stops being weird.

Okay, chase
is getting Perry.

You go handle your mom.

Got it.

Mom!

Hey, I was thinking about it
and you were right.

It is going to be so much fun

having you around here everyday.

[ Squeals, giggles ]

I knew you would
come around.

Hey, love me,
don't break me.

So, to be an effective
pta president

you need to be in touch
with your students,

know what they like,
listen to their music.

Don't worry, Leo.

I'm picking up what
you're putting down.

[ Chuckling ]
You're trying too hard.

This better be important,
shrub head.

Quick!
Put these on.

Ooh, these jams
are pumped up!

I just thought that
maybe you'd like to hear

what our future pta president

is been saying
behind your back.

[ Scoffs ]

[ Bree in Tasha's voice ]
I am shocked

at the lack of professionalism
around this school.

And it all starts with
that tyrant principal Perry.

Well, that's obvious.

When I'm president

I'm gonna make it my mission
to get her fired!

Fired?!

She can't do that!

Technically,
as pta president, she can.

It's right here
in the rule book.

Let me see that!

Oh, one more thing,

I hate cats.

[ Gasps ]
The claws are out now!

You know, maybe you
should run against her.

Against her?

I'm gonna run over her!

Hey!

Oh, hi,
principal Perry!

Did you hear?

No one is running against me.

I'm going to be pta president.

Not in this lifetime,
mitzy Von minivan.

I'm in the race now,
and around here,

the only thing
pta stands for

is putting Tanya away.

My name is Tasha.

Still starts with a "t"!

[ Gasps ]

Adam, I really stuck
my neck out for you,

and you made us both
look irresponsible.

You're right.

Apology accepted.

Wow.

Look how high I am.

That's what I said!

That pickup truck looks
like a teeny tiny toy.

That's what I said!

You know, before I
take this thing back,

there's something
I really need to do.

Woo-hoo!
Oh, yeah!

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming continues ]

Woo! This is awesome!

That's what I said!

[ Both screaming ]

Whoa!

[ Both screaming ]

Let's do this already!

I'm late for my shift
at the gas-n-go.

What are you looking at?

Hey, mom?

Are you sure you want
to go through with this?

Principal Perry is merciless
and will do anything to win.

She has the battle scars
to prove it.

Have a little faith
in your mom.

Oh, I have lots of faith.

That principal Perry
is going to destroy you.

So I guess we're
keeping this thing, huh?

Yeah, I finally found a car
that matches my ego.

[ Laughs ]

It's not that big.

[ Thump ]
Ooh, what was that?

Trash can.

I'll pay for that!

So, here's what I'm thinking.

We'll buy you a different car,

and we'll keep this bad boy
to play with on weekends.

Awesome!

But we're gonna
have to hide it.

'Cause if Tasha
finds out about this thing,

we're both gonna
end up living in it.

[ Gasps ]
Promise?!

[ Thumping ]

Oh! Trash can?

Mail box.

I'll pay for that, too!

Oh! Can we make a quick stop?

I forgot my backpack at school.

No problem. We can stop by
and pick it up.

[ Loud metal clanging ]

Mail box?

Mail truck.

[ Microphone feedback ]

[ Clears throat, choking ]

Vote for me,

I know where you live.

Good luck with that,
mom jeans.

This election's mine.

Before I lay out my platform,

I spent some time going through

the school's accounting
records...

[ Perry clearing throat ]

I withdraw!

What are you doing?

Saving a fortune in legal fees!

Wait, hold on!

According to the rules,

it is past the deadline
to withdrawals.

He's right!

So we still need to
hear final speeches

and then vote.

No speech.
I vote Tasha.

[ Chanting ]
Tasha!

Tasha! Tasha!

Don't make me
do all the work.

Tasha! Tasha!

Well, look at that,

got a parking space
right next to the gym.

Well, three spaces.

Sorry, ma'am. I'll pay for that.

Okay just give me a second
to get my backpack.

It won't take long.
There's nothing in it.

Wait!

Is that Tasha's car?

Yeah, she's giving her
big pta speech tonight.

[ Screams ]
I forgot about that!

She can't see us in this thing.

Well, if she can't,
then she needs glasses.

This thing is huge.

No, I mean, we got
to get out of here!

Well, then go already!

Well, I'm trying,
but the gear shift is stuck!

Why don't you try harder?

Okay, I got it!

[ Screaming ]

And once I'm president,

mission creek
will run as smoothly

as my very own happy family.

[ Screaming ]

[ Both coughing ]

Quick!
Back up before she sees us!

Donald!

Vote for Tasha.

[ Honks ]

[ Continues honking ]

Well, thanks to you
I totally lost the election!

Not one person voted for me!

Yes!

You will get 'em
next year, mom.

Because of you Perry won!

Don't be mad
at Mr. Davenport.

I can explain everything.

Thank you.

It all started
when he decided

to keep this truck
and hide it from you.

What?!

Perry: Get me out of here!

Is that principal Perry?

Perry: No, it's Taylor swift.

She's under there!

Are you okay?

I'm fine,
but my cupcake isn't.

I don't know if that's
fiberglass or sprinkles.

Eh, it's all going
to the same place.

So...

This was fun...

All right, do you
prefer big bills or, uh...

Nice try, Richie rich.

You can't buy me off
that easily.

Although there is
one thing I want.

[ Honking ]

Let's go crush some doghouses,
vice principal whiskers!

[ Chuckling ]
[ Meowing ]

[ Laughing ]

Woo-hoo!