01x05 - Exoskeleton vs. Grandma

[bunniefuu]

Oh, check out what I've
done with my locker!

♪ Tah-dah!

Here's where
I keep my books.

Down here I keep random strands
of hair I've collected

to make fake mustaches.

And here is where I
stockpile old lunches,

or, as I like to call it,
my tum-tum yum-yums.

Hey, Leo.
What's that?

My progress report.

I can't believe
my science teacher

says I'm always
late to class.

You are always
late to class.

I know that, but I
don't need it publicized.

Look at this!

An "a-minus"!

I knew my home ec teacher
had it out for me.

Always criticizing
my muffins.

Ha ha! I beat you!
I got a "d-plus"!

"Plus"
because I'm better!

Adam, the "plus" is...
You know what?

It's just not even
worth it anymore.

"D" is not a good grade,

but we don't really
expect you to get good grades.

I'm engineered to be the
smartest person on the planet,

and I just got
an "a-minus."

I've been relegated
to the huddled,

unwashed masses
of minuses,

like you!

Chase, I know this
must be hard for you,

but, I mean,
look at the bright side...

Seeing you fall flat on your
face is really fun for us!

I have got to find a way
to reclaim my superiority.

Well, you could sign up for the
student of the semester competition.

What's that?

Every semester,
kids compete to see

who can best improve
the school.

Whoever gets the most
votes wins free pencils,

a bumper sticker, and a cheesy
picture of himself on the wall!

And that cheesy picture
will show everyone

that my brilliance
reigns supreme!

I call your free pencils!

No, wait, I'll take the cheesy picture.
They both sound so good!

[ Class bell rings ]

Both: Race ya'!

Oh, no. Science class
is all the way

at the other side
of the school.

If I'm late again,
I'm gonna get detention.

Unless...

Unless what?

I don't want
to sound crazy,

but can you use
your bionic speed

to rocket me over
to science class

while I ride on your
back like a fighter pilot?

What?

No way.

Pleeeaaase?

It's the only way
I'll make it on time.

Leo, I'm a girl, not a method
of public transportation.

Besides, no one can
see me using my bionics.

But... but there's
no one around. Come on!

If I don't make it, I'm
gonna be in big trouble!

Do you really want that
on your conscience?

I can live with it.

Fine. I guess I just
expected more from my...

Sister.

Okay, fine.

But just this once.

Hold on.

Ow.

What part of "hold on"
did you not understand?

I'm sorry, this is my first
time going "Bree-back" riding!

Whoo-hoo!

Narrator: The world's
first bionic superhumans.

They're stronger than us,

faster, smarter...

The next generation
of the human race is...

Living in my basement?

♪♪

All: Aaaahhh!

Hey, vote for chase.

Tell your friends.

Vote for chase for
student of the semester.

Here's my website,
where you can

peruse my platform,
marvel at my skills,

or even play a game
of chase trivia,

where all the answers
are about me.

Hey!

What do you think?

What do I think, or what's
appropriate to say to your face?

"Chase the dream"?

Please do not give these
to anyone

I might want
to become friends with.

I've got a whole plan.
Check it out.

I even linked the latest
facial recognition

software
to the school database

to create a laser automated
attendance system.

Andrew lamb has been late
three days in a row.

Straight to the principal's
office, Andy.

He'll thank me later for
putting him on the right path.

Oh, dude, you're never
gonna win with that.

Kids want fun stuff
like jacuzzis in math class

and hallways paved with candy.

Ooh, and I also think
biology would be

a lot more fun if we
could juggle the frogs

before we dissected them.

That's frog abuse.

Fine, we'll do it after,

but it's gonna get messy.

Ooh, Turkey!

Ooh! Gravy!

Step away from the gravy!

Don't tell me
what to do, Turkey!

Adam, that's my
nutritional scanner,

insuring that everyone gets
a perfectly balanced...

Ohh.itious lunch.

Chase, I don't think your
scanner's a very good idea.

Of course it is!
Who doesn't love

being told how to
eat properly?

[ Chime ]
More green beans?

Too many fries.

A cupcake? Really?
I wouldn't,

but it's your health.

Chase, you're going
about this all wrong.

Let me help!

Look, I know how
to win you votes.

[ Dance music playing ]

Everyone say hello
to deejay Jersey chase!

Adam, what is going on?

I'm helping you win!
Or should I say...

[ Amplified ]
I'm helping you win!

I do not need
a cheesy deejay setup!

I know. That's why I brought
you this awesome deejay setup!

It's a lunchtime
dance party!

Go gravy! Go gravy!
Go gravy! Go gravy!

Go gravy! Go gravy!

Go gravy!

Go gravy! Go gravy!

Go gravy!

[ Class bell rings ]

sh**t! I'm gonna be
late again!

Hey, Bree, buddy,

my beautiful
bionic bestie.

Is there any way you can
spin those little toe wheels

and sh**t me over
to science class again?

Sorry, I'm on my way
to study hall with Ethan.

We've got to go get ready
for a big algebra test.

Come on, Bree, we'd better go
or we won't get seats together,

and when I'm minus you,
I'm negative.

Pleeeaaase?

It'll only take a second.

I'm feelin' the need...
The need for Bree speed.

Leo, I told you,
I'm not your bionic taxi.

I didn't say
you were a taxi.

You're more like
a cute little trolley

without the bell
and annoying stops.

I told you, no.

Hey!

Why don't I just skip
science class

and hang out
with you and Ethan?

You know, we can
study and laugh

and talk all about
how you can perform

the national anthem
with your armpit.

Ethan!

Go to study hall.
I'll meet you there.

Bugo...

Okay, but I'll be thinking
about you the whole way there,

my little coefficient.

Aww! One plus one
equals you and me!

[ Chuckles ]
Ohh!

You two have a weird
little thing going on.

Hop on.

Hi-ho, silver!

I mean, you know, whenever
you're feelin' it.

Whoo-hoo!

[ Whistling ]

Hey!

Ooowww!

Adam, for the last time,

that is not
a giant lunchbox!

No!

It's part of your
new campaign to win

student of the semester.

I... I mean you...

Put a vending machine
in study hall.

But those aren't
even healthy foods.

Is that key lime pie?

I don't know. Gimme a
buck and I'll find out.

They love it!

Of course they do.

They're getting their
meal from a machine.

And you didn't think
you needed my help.

I'm totally gonna
win this thing for you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're gonna win
this thing for me?

Yeah, I just said that.

Don't you think your
sudden popularity

has something to do
with my ideas?

No.

I think that people
are finally realizing

my campaign slogan,

"chase the dream,"

is about me.

I am the dream!

It works on a lot of levels.
Don't hurt yourself.

But my strategy
was ten times better.

You just can't deal
with the fact that

I'm finally smarter
at something than you are.

Oh, really?
Ten times better?

What'd you use, all your fingers
and toes to count that one out?

You know what?

You always treat me
like an idiot.

But not this time because
I'm entering this contest,

and I'm taking you down.

You wouldn't.

Are you not listening?
I just said I would!

Here you go.
Vote for chase.

Here you go.
Vote for chase.

And don't forget to stop
by the nurse's office

for your free
scoliosis screening,

sponsored by...
Yours truly.

[ Horn'scuse me!

Comin' through! Who wants to ride
on the high school party bus?

Whoo-hoo!

Do you honestly believe that
giving kids rides to class

is gonna make them
want to vote for you?

Who's going to class? We're
just cruising the halls.

Hey, everyone,

wouldn't you rather
walk to class,

knowing you're
also fitting in 2%

of your daily
exercise requirement?

No? Okay.

Attention,
party-bussers!

There will be no stops,

so if you're looking
for a ride to class,

plan your jumps
accordingly.

Well...
My scientific polling,

which consists of all your
crumpled-up business cards

in the trashcan

shows that Adam is beating
you by a comfortable margin.

If I'm gonna compete with
him, I have to start

thinking like
a simpleminded creature,

one who goes through the day on
basic instinct and random impulse,

like a dog or a monkey
or a sea slug.

Both: Or Adam.

Bree! You have to help me!

I left my geometry
homework at home.

Can you run and get it...

You know, hop on
the old "Bree-way"?

I told you, I'm done
running you around.

I'm starting to get a
Leo-sized dent in my back.

But if I don't
turn in my homework,

I'm gonna get an "f."

Well, then, maybe next time
you'll be more responsible.

Now, Ethan's coming.
Go... be somewhere else.

Hey, Leo.
Where's Bree?

Bree...

Went home sick.

Yes, she, uh,
she hit her head...

On the water fountain.

It happens.

She okay?

Oh, yeah, she's fine.

She probably won't even
remember it tomorrow.

Don't bring it up!

Toot toot!
Comin' through!

Hey! Have you taken a ride on
the hallway party bus yet?

It's just like
a super-fun rollercoaster

with a maniac at the wheel!

Go. Go.
Go, go, go, go.

Nice.

Hey, so, bad news...

I just ran into Ethan,
and he can't meet up.

What? Why?

He had to go pluck
his nose hairs.

It was looking like
a jungle up in there.

So... now will you go
get my homework for me?

Fine.

But wouldn't it just
be a lot easier for me

to zip into
your geometry class,

Mark an "a"
in the teacher's book,

and then zip back out?

Hey!

Not gonna happen!

Leo, I looked everywhere.

I couldn't find
your stupid homework.

What?

Well, will you look
at that?

It was right here
the whole time.

You...

Have a nice day.

[ Horn blows ]

[ Tires screech ]

Here you go, sir,

the corner of
cafeteria and Bree.

Bree?

Leo said you went home.

What? He told me you were
plucking your nose jungle.

But...
I'm glad you didn't

because it's adorable.

Ugh. Guess I was wrong.

This looks like the corner
of awkward and gross.

Here you go.

Enjoy your
"chee-ase" burger!

A hamburger cart?

That's the best you got?

The only thing juicier
than my burgers

is what you're
about to eat,

which is a big,
heaping pile

of hot, tasty defeat.

Well, speaking of defeat,

care for a foot rub?

What's that?

That is my 2-minute
massage stop,

winning hearts and minds
ten toes at a time.

Oh, go ahead, people.
First come, first served.

Mmm, good.

You know what?

I've really had it
with you.

Aww. What are you
gonna do about it?

You know, you really
can't enjoy a burger

without a little
ketchup on your buns.

[ Squishy sound ]

Ha! Joke's on you.
I kinda liked it.

Ah, this is it,

the moment we've
all been waiting for.

[ Gasps ] They found a talking
horse that fights crime?

No.

It's the student of
the semester results.

Miss thistle gets
to open the results

because she's the oldest
teacher in school.

Oh, just give me
the stupid thing!

I mean...

Let me help you, ma'am.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!
I...

Tied with Adam?

Yes! I half-won!

Put me down!

[ Class bell rings ]

There must be some mistake.
Maybe you missed a few.

Count again, please!

No, chase, she's not gonna
make it through another count.

Oh, I've got to go.
My ride's here.

Hi, Bree.

Let me guess:
You need a lift?

Oh, well, I wouldn't
want to impose on you.

Let's go!

All right,

hop on.

Oh, but hold on tight.

This one might get
a little bumpy.

Wait. What?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Aaaahhhh!

Aaaahhhh!

Aah!

Are you crazy?

I think I swallowed
a June bug!

What? You said
you wanted a ride.

To math class, not Ohio!

I had to teach you
a lesson, Leo.

You totally took
advantage of my bionics.

And you lied to me
and my little decimal point.

I mean Ethan.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

I guess I deserved it.

I just got a little
carried away.

Heh heh heh.

With you
carrying me away!

Oh, come on. That's funny.

I can't believe we tied.

Now we each have to write an
essay to determine the winner.

And when everyone at
school reads my essay,

I'm gonna be student
of the semester.

Let me see that.

It's just a bunch of
badly drawn rocket ships.

Yeah, next page.

A tiny-headed guy
with a big mouth?

Yeah, that's you.
Next page.

"I, Adam Davenport, should
be student of the semester."

That's it?

What? It's sharp
and to the point.

Took me 25 minutes.

You know what?

I'm not even worried
because the winner's

gonna be the one who
can write the best essay,

and we all know that's me.

You think you're so smart!

Well, you may be a better
writer, but I'm a better...!

That's right.
You got nothin'.

No, I got this.

[ Whirring sound ]

Oh, you think you're so cool
because you have lasers.

Well, guess what...
I can fight back too!

Aaahhh!

Bull's-eye!

Rraaaahhhh!

Bree, should we
do something?

Nah,
they're bionic brothers.

It's how they roll.

Aaahhhh!

[And fly.]

Ha! I can still pin you
in less than three seconds!

I'm good.

He always plays
the physical card.

This contest
was my thing,

and he's trying
to show me up.

He's not trying
to show you up,

he did show you up.

Instead of giving him credit,
you made him feel stupid,

which is how you
always make him feel.

Huh.

Now I'm starting to think
she's smarter than you too.

Hey, prepare yourself for
the bitter taste of defeat,

which I plan on
spoon-feeding you

in delightful,
bite-sized portions

every single time
I see you.

Mm-hmm.

Let's just
see what happens.

And the student of
the semester is...

Adam Davenport!

Whoo-hoo! I beat you!

Eat it!
Eat the defeat!

Okay, Adam.Outh!

Lick the spoon!
Lick it!

All right!
That's enough.

Uh, chase, something's not
right with Adam's essay.

"I should be student
of the semester

"because I'm tall,
I'm happy,

and I will let you have
dogs in the library."

So? What's
wrong with that?

Adam would have
misspelled "library."

Adam would have
misspelled "dogs."

Okay, fine.

I wrote it,
put his name on it,

and tanked my own essay.

He had good ideas
and deserved to win.

So I got one "a-minus."

I guess I can't be
perfect at everything.

Chase, that's not true.

You're not perfect
at a lot of things.

Hey, Adam,

congratulations.
The best man won.

And it was wrong of me
to make you feel

like you weren't
smart enough to win.

Yes, it was, it was
very scrumptious of you.

"Presumptuous."

That as well.

[ Horn honks ]

Hey, Bree, good news!

I found a new way
to make it to class on time!

Let's do it!

Buckle up, guys! I'm
hitting the afterburner

all the way to art class!

[ Jets roar, tires squeal ]

Are you sure
you're not upset

about Adam beating you for
student of the semester?

Yeah, a little bit.

But I'll get over it.

[ Laughter ]

Yeah, I'm over it.

Hey!

I was gonna do that!