01x04 - Wake Up, Victor

[bunniefuu]

Hold on!

You put the peanut
butter and jelly

on separate slices?

That's the way
we do it in Florida.

Man, Florida's the coolest.

So I said to him

not if you want to
carry my books again.

No, you did not say that.

Yes, I did, girl.

Okay, what are you looking at?

Nothing... but now I am.

Hello, Chelsea baby.

Okay, Corey, you're ten; I'm 15.

Which means she's old enough

to be grossed out by you.

And who are you?

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Miles Bonet.

Well, aren't you
the cutest little thing.

I'm Raven.

He just moved here from Florida.

And if you go back

will you please take my
little brother with you?

Raven, can we go now

'cause Corey's starting to
get those driplets of drool.

It's really gross.

Whoa, they don't make
them like her in Florida.

Hey... Chelsea's mine.

I'm talking about Raven.

Eww, my sister?

You can have her.

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ if you could gaze
into the future ♪

♪ future, future ♪

♪ you might think life
would be a breeze ♪

♪ life is a breeze ♪

♪ seeing trouble
from a distance ♪

♪ yeah ♪ go, Rae.

♪ But it's not that easy ♪

♪ oh, no ♪
take it to the bridge now.

♪ I try to save the situation ♪

♪ then I end up misbehaving ♪

♪ hey, now, say, now ♪

♪ about to put it
down, yeah, come on ♪

♪ and ride with the break, now ♪

♪ in that the future
looks great now ♪

♪ and everything's
gonna change now ♪

♪ let's keep it going ♪
♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's the future I can see ♪

♪ that's so Raven ♪

♪ it's so mysterious to me... ♪

Yep, that's me.

Guess who I just
got off the phone with.

A maid, I hope.

I'm tired.

No, the TV show,
hello, San Francisco.

You know, they do that segment

on chefs cooking
in their own homes.

Ooh, dad, no, you are
not going to be on TV.

They're coming here tomorrow.

What are we jumping around for?

Dad's going to be on TV.

Miles, what do you
think you're doing?

I'm just so happy for your dad.

Go hug him.

Congratulations, sir.

You really deserve this.

Well, thank you very much.

Coming from you,
that means a lot.

Who are you?

This is miles.

He's from Florida.

Well, you picked
a very exciting day

to come, miles.

Honey, this could
be your big break.

You could become famous.

The pressure must be enormous.

My dad's not scared.

Well, like, what if
he makes a mistake

in front of millions of people?

Millions...?

Uh, Corey why
don't you take miles

and show him
something that's far away.

Yeah... like Florida.

Dad, don't listen
to that kid, okay?

You're going to do great.

You have been
preparing for this moment

your whole career.

Yeah, I know

but what if I forget
how to do something

like de-bone a chicken
or make a sauce or...

Or breathe?

Honey, take it easy.

No, no, no, I got to cancel.

Dad... wait!

Rae, did you just have a vision?

Yes, dad, and I saw
you on the show.

You were chopping up everything

and you were breathing
like you've been doing it

your whole life.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

How'd I look?

Like Denzel with a spatula!

Mmm.

That's what I'm
talking about, yeah!

Okay, then-then
everything's going to be fine.

Oh, thank you, baby.

I gotta go check
out some recipes.

I'm going to be on TV...

Like Denzel with a spatula.

Well, that homework's
not going to do itself.

Hold it!

Rae, you made
that whole vision up.

Mama, listen.

This is dad's big break.

He was about to cancel.

So, you just lied to give
him a little confidence boost?

I was just trying to help.

Look at him, mom.

♪ I'm a cookin' man ♪

♪ oww! With a
big old frying pan ♪

♪ oww! ♪

So, you still think I
did the wrong thing?

Yes... but for
the right reasons.

Just no more fake visions.

Okay, I promise.

Rae, this is a disaster.

This show was supposed
to be your father's big break.

Chelsea, what I lack in
age, I make up for in muscle.

How long have you
been standing there?

Long enough, my friend.

You got a better
way of getting girls?

As a matter of fact, I do.

"Hypnotism... The
trance for romance"?

Watch and learn.

I'm Dr. Wendell Van
leer, master of hypnosis.

Not everyone can be
put into a hypnotic sleep

but those who can will
be under your power

for up to 24 hours
or your money back.

Now, take out your
complimentary hypno-stone.

Whoa.

And swing it thusly.

Now you're getting it.

Rae, can you please
calm down, okay?

You're making me so dizzy.

Listen, I'm nervous, okay

and I'm worried about my dad

and I clean when I'm nervous.

Rae, I think my arm is
piney-fresh now. Thanks.

Hey, guys.

Oh, hey, Mr. Baxter.

Hey, Mr. Baxter

you ready for your big TV debut?

Yeah, that's right.

You know, I've been working

on some catch phrases...

Something cool to say
when I add an ingredient.

Right on. Check it out.

Check it out, yeah.

I kinda dig that.

This cat's right.

No, that's... that's not it.

Listen up.

Listen up?

Ooh, you know it's
kind of "old school"

but it's still really catchy.

I like that.

Listen... okay.

The next word that comes
out of my dad's mouth

will be the catch phrase,
not that lame stuff, okay?

Okay, dad, now give it to me.

Kapowie!

Well, that's good. Yeah!

Thanks, guys.

Kapowie!

Kapowie! Yeah!

You guys, I am so worried.

Something bad is going
to happen to my dad.

Mm, like saying, "kapowie"?

Y'all dig this:

I'm going to go catch the game.

I'm just a phone call
away if you need me...

During half-time.

All right, okay.

Man, what are you two wearing?

My grandpa showed us how
the players dress in Florida.

It looks like your
grandpa played you.

Hello, baby.

May I say you look
ravishing today.

Can you say it on your
way back to the home?

What is that?

Is... is that mothballs?

It's the state smell of Florida.

So, what do you think

of our handsome-
new-man jewelry?

Watch as we swing them thusly.

Back and forth,
back and forth...

Listen to the sound
of our soothing voices.

Your eyes are
closing... Closing.

You're falling asleep...

Drifting further and further
into unconsciousness.

When you hear the
word "San Francisco"

you will fall into a
deep deep sleep.

And you won't wake up

until you hear the
word, "okeechobee."

Okeechobee?

Yeah, that's where I was born.

Ready, one... Two... three...

San Francisco.

It worked.

Raven, you will fall
in love with miles.

And Chelsea, you will
fall in love with Corey.

Oh, miles, you big
hunk of Florida sunshine.

Oh, Corey, you are all
man, and you are all mine.

Kiss me.

Kiss me, miles.

Yes!

No way!

Corey, you're so sexy.

Corey, you are all man,
and you are all mine.

Yum-yummy.

Oh, miles, you big
hunk of Florida sunshine.

Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me!

Admit it... they got us bad.

Like the doc said, it
doesn't work on everyone.

Yeah...

But at least we look good.

Man, I can't believe

we couldn't hypnotize our women.

Maybe we missed a step.

Let's go watch that tape again.

Dad, I think the
TV people are here.

Dad?

Dad!

Dad?

What you looking at?

He's asleep!

We must have hypnotized him.

Excellent.

Not excellent!

The TV people are here.

I'll get it!

You wake him
up... I'll get the door.

Go.

♪ Ah ♪

Ocochobee!

Miles?

Yes!

Mr. Baxter.

I'm TV's Kelly Bryant.

Of course you are.

I love your work.

I'm sure you do.

Kitchen?

Uh... there.

So, are we ready
for our big debut?

Um... actually no.

I sort of lost track of time.

Well, don't lose any more.

We are going live in 20 minutes.

Right, I'll go get ready.

Kapowie.

I hope that's not
your catch phrase.

Of course not.

Hi, I'm Victor Baxter.

Vic Baxter.

Yo, yo, yo, v. Bax
in the... his house.

Daddy, it's on... the show's on!

Coming up, we're going
live with Kelly Bryant

to the Kitchen of Victor Baxter

one of the bay
area's favorite chefs.

That's you, dad!

Yeah, I'm the man.

Don't go away.

We're coming right back

with more of hello,
San Francisco.

Oh, man, they said
"San Francisco."

What's that wake-up word?

Um... toke-a-chobee?

Uh, chokatobee?

Obie wan kenobe?

Okay, Victor,
they're all ready for...

Victor?

Honey, I'm glad to
see you're relaxed

but there is a TV
crew downstairs.

Mom... Dad's kind of hypnotized.

Kind of... hypnotized?

Corey, this isn't funny.

It's not a joke.

I can't wake him up.

Dad, this is so cool!

You should go downstairs

and see all the lights
and cameras and...

Why you laying on
the bed like that for?

Apparently he's hypnotized.

What?

Dad was watching when

miles and I tried to
hypnotize you guys.

Okay, so, uh, there
was a wake-up word.

Good luck.

Um... Okalobee.

Hokey-pokey.

"On top of old smokey"!

Dear... honey...
You need to wake up.

You wake up get up.Get up!

Wake up!

Rae... This is a disaster.

This show was your
father's big break.

How did you know I was...?

Did you have a
vision about this?

Yeah, mom. I knew something
bad was going to happen.

Why didn't you say something?

Because, ma, I didn't
want dad to get nervous.

Oh, it worked.

Now he's just unconscious!

Mr. Baxter, we're ready for you.

Okay, let's not panic.

Come on, can't we
just panic a little?

Okay, two seconds.

Now.

Corey. Call miles,
get the wake-up word.

Okeydoke. Whoop!

Okay, Chelsea, go down there

and stall as much as you can.

Okay, I'm on it.

Rae...

Let's get your
father downstairs.

Okay.

And here we have
the refrigerator.

Um... uh...

When you open the
door, the light goes on

but when you close the
door, the light goes off.

Or does it? Hmm...

Fascinating. Where is Victor?

We are going on in five minutes.

All right... There we go.

All right.

Need a little help in the front.

Okay. Yeah.

Oka. Let's take him
around to the left.

Okay. Mom, get him, get him...

Yeah. Yeah.

Mamma, I'm losing him. Mama.

Timber!

One, two, three.

That's going to
hurt in the morning.

Definitely.

All right, how we going
to get him downstairs?

Ooh, I got an idea.

Okay, let's pivot him around.

God, he's heavy.

Ready?

Ready.

One... two... On two. On two.

On three, ready?

One, two.

Okay, can we take
a break from this?

Yes. Yes. Okay.

Let's take another break.

Get back, get back, get back.

Wait, let him
down, let him down.

There you go.

Yo, that's tight.

I call next.

Hi. Kelly Bryant here

in the Kitchen of local
chef Victor Baxter.

Unfortunately, the
only thing missing is...

Victor Baxter...

is in the... His house!

Uh... well, great.

Victor.

What will you be
making for us today?

My husband will be making...

He's gonna, he's
gonna be making... eggs.

Yes, because...

San Francisco
is the city of eggs.

I thought he was going
to be making trout.

Um, yes.

He's going to be making... Um...

He's going to be
making trout and eggs.

Trout and eggs? Mmm.

Yeah. That's because
it's the catch of the day

with the hatch of the day.

Uh, why isn't Victor
telling us this himself?

Um...

Oh, that's because
they call him...

"The silent chef."

Yeah, he lets his
food do the talking.

Isn't that right, dad?

Hey, let's get cooking, dad.

What do you want to cook today?

Well, it looks like he
wants to cook some eggs.

Let's cook some eggs.

Hey.

Let's get it.

Kapowie.

As you can see, my dad
doesn't like to waste a thing.

They call him the relaxed

silent, nonwasting... chef.

Ooh, dad.

Uh, why don't we
go to a commercial?

And we'll come back with more

of the mysterious cooking
styles of Victor Baxter.

Okay, what is going on here?

Uh... the truth is...

My husband was
accidentally hypnotized.

Well, don't look at me like
that, girlfriend. It happens.

But everything is under control.

Oh, well, it better be

because if he is not cooking

when we get back,
we are cutting to a clip

on what not to put in
your garbage disposal

and Mr. Floppy here

can just wave his
career good-bye.

Miles, what is the wake-up word?

Forget it, Rae,
he's not talking.

Not till I get a little sugar.

Okay.

Close your eyes and pucker up.

Rae! Ew!

Don't worry, Chelsea.

I can take one for the team.

Ooh, pucker up.

Here it comes. Mmm!

Yeah, baby.

A little salty, but I
can taste the love.

Okay loverboy, what's the word?

Okeechobee.

What's going on?

I'm strapped to a board,
and everything's dark.

Ah!

Now I can see...

That I'm still
strapped to a board

and the show is going on?

Yeah, but there's still
time to turn it around.

Turn it around?
Rae, where's it going?

Straight down the tubes, Mr. B.

Yeah. It's a long story

but, um... Corey and miles...

They accidentally
hypnotized you.

Well, I can see my
work here is done.

How 'bout a smooch for the road?

How 'bout just the road?

All right, move
it out, hot lips.

Corey, what did you do to me?

Dad, let's not
point fingers, but...

It's all Raven's fault!

What?!

She lied to you
about her vision.

Rae, you said it was
going to be a huge success.

Dad, I was just trying to
give you some confidence.

Well, it worked.

I'm confident that
my career is over.

No, it is not, dad.

You love to cook

and that's what
people need to see.

You need to get back on that air

and do what you do best.

You are a great chef

and you don't need a
vision to tell you that.

All right, we're
on in ten seconds.

Are we happening, or do we
cut to the garbage disposal?

We're happening.

Hi. Kelly Bryant here.

We're back with Victor
Baxter, the silent chef.

Actually, Kelly,
the family and I

were just playing
a little joke on you.

Now it's time for
some serious cooking.

Get ready for my
cajun trout a la Victor.

You got two minutes.

How about the best
omelet you've ever tasted?

You know, Kelly, the great
thing about making an omelet

is you don't need a recipe.

Just cook right from the heart.

Let's see. We can use

whatever we have on the counter

and today we have
fresh eggs, a little onion

we got trout.

We don't have time for trout.

We got a little garlic

a little red pepper,
a little hot sauce

and guess what? Kapowie.

Great segment, Victor,
a-and you were right.

This omelet is... kapowie.

Mm. Tell you what, you give
me more than two minutes

and I'll show you
some real cooking.

You are on.

How about a monthly segment

on hello, San Francisco?

Okeechobee.

That'd be great.

Because your food
just says San Francisco.

Okeechobee.

I couldn't agree with you more.