02x09 - A Pain In My Sidekick/Designing Women

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

Hey, Shel,
what's shakin', bacon?

What you got there?

What, this?

This is just
a Sharpenator 5000,

a new attachment
for Jenny...

[angrily]
that I slaved over
all week long.

Every time I try
to give it to her,

all she says is,
"Not now, Sheldon."

Hi, Jenny.
I just wanted to--

Not now, Sheldon.

Why do I even bother?

Sneak att*cks?

Are you
that desperate, Vexas?

That was merely
to get your attention, XJ9.

Behold!

The Navi-aca.

[g*nf*re]

Its living missiles
will finally make you a sl*ve

of the Cluster Empire.

[all]
Snow! It's snowing.

Ahhh.

[coughing and spitting]

A cheese grater?

She has a gadget
for everything.

How can I ever b*at her if
I never know what insane gizmo

she has
up her sleeves?

[beeping]

[rocket engine roars]

[Jenny]
Leaving so soon,
Vexas?

Come on;
let's go.

You and me,
mano a mano.

And have you
shred me to bits

with some abominable
new device?

Don't be absurd.

But those infernal gadgets won't
always protect you, Jennifer.

I will find a way
to defeat you.

Until then,
darling, ta-ta.

I feel for you, Shel.

Too bad Wakeman
didn't design Jenny

with an intense
attraction to nerds.

Yeah, who knows what Jenny
was designed to--

screech!

Wait.

Jenny was designed.

So there must be
a blueprint.

If I can get my hands
on those plans,

I'm sure I can find
a way to Jenny's heart.

All I'm saying is that
Vexas is a smart cookie.

You can't always rely on gadgets
and gizmos to get the job done.

Then why'd you
put 'em in me then?

What?
What was that, dear?

Nothing.

Gotta go, Mom.

All right, XJ9.

I'll be crunching data
till bedtime.

[snoring]

squeak!

[cables whirring]

thud!

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[door creaking]

[squeaking noises]

[liquid bubbling]

[screams]

♪ ♪

[sizzling noise]

Hoo-waa!

[zapping noise]

zap!

[Wakeman snoring]

The variable coefficient is
X prime over chicken pot pie.

You keep your hands
off my Bunsen burner.

[knuckles cr*ck]

[loud crashing]

[snoring]

[beeping]

My queen.
My queen!

We have detected an intruder
at XJ9's home base.

We believe it is
the one called Sheldon.

What's he carrying?

Zoom in.

[Vexas gasps]

The master plan.

Don't lose him.

Closer, closer!

Twin manifold access ports!

Oh, baby.

[Vexas]
So this one fancies
girl robots, does he?

[chuckles]
Then he's going to love me.

[loud crash]

boing!

Oh, my gosh!

What happened?

Where am I?

Oh, hi.

Sorry about crashing
into your roof.

My name's QT2.

What's yours?

Sh-Sh-Sheldon.

Sheldon?

More like well done.

[giggles]

I was just flying through town
when my rockets gave out.

See?

I'm so lucky
to have been saved

by such a big,
strong, handsome man.

I'm kind of spoken for.

Is this her?

Don't all those pointy weapons
get in the way of cuddling?

[romantic music]

♪ ♪

[church bell rings]

[waves splashing]

[babies crying]

[QT2]
Hello?

[moans dramatically]

That crash took more
out of me than I thought.

You must be low
on fluids.

Wait here.

[sinister music]

Here we are--
oil for you,

and sparkling grape soda
for later if we get in the mood.

QT2?

[shrieks]

The plans!

They're gone!

Ah! I've been duped.

How am I gonna tell Jenny?

What am I gonna tell Jenny?

After I broke into your house
and stole your secret diagrams,

I lost 'em to
this other robot girl

who I was, uh,
getting to know better.

But we're still
friends, right?

zap!

I gotta find that QT2.

[sinister laugh]

With these plans,
I'll know her every weakness.

Normally, I hate
to get my hands dirty,

but this time,
I'll gladly make an exception.

Year of the monkey.

Year of the snake.

Hey, I was born
in the year of the can.

[man screaming]

Excuse me!

Huh?

[gasps]

Vexas?

What are you
doing back here?

You got some new bugbot
for me to squash?

Today I thought we'd settle
our differences alone.

Alone?

You?

Aren't you afraid
you'll break a nail?

You're the one
who'll be broken, my sweet.

Let's keep this
short and sweet.

[rapid g*nshots]

Aha, the stun grenade g*n.

And set at a f*ring rate
of 125 per second.

[saw whirring]

Circular Saw 14-9.

It detaches here,
I believe.

Thunder Fist.

This is the weakest link.

cling!

The Electro Claw.

I see you still haven't
fixed your faulty wiring.

[electricity crackling]

Your gyroscope
has a favorite song.

I think it goes
something like this.

[wings fluttering]

[whirring sound]

ding!

clang! cling!

How could you
possibly know all this?

Insider information, dearie.

I know all about
your insides,

your outsides,

your front sides,

and your back sides.

I know your funny bone,

your trick knee,

tennis elbow,

sweet tooth,

and glass jaw!

crash!

Jenny, I gotta
talk to--

Not now, Sheldon.

Jenny, there's
something I got--

Sheldon, I'm busy!

Jenny,
you don't understand.

Sheldon, get lo--

I think I gave Vexas
your blueprints.

[laughs shakily]

What did you say?

I said, "I gave it"--

Uh, hold on there, Jenn.

You don't want
to obliterate

your one true chance
at happiness.

zap!

Now do you understand?

It's over.

I know your every w*apon,
gizmo, and gadget.

Sorry, V.

It's not the gadgets
that matter.

It's the girl
who wields them.

The stun grenade cannon again?

I think your brain may be
your weakest spot of all.

[rapid g*nf*re]

[whooshing]

crash!

[electricity crackling]

Okay, Sheldon,
Vexas will be back.

Give me the new
Sharpenator 5000 you made.

You were listening to me.

Cool it, Sheldon!

We've gotta work fast!

It's over, XJ9.

You're out of time,
out of options,

and out of surprises.

Oh, the surprises
have just begun.

What, that?

That's no surprise.

Why, I've defeated dozens
and dozens of those.

I've just never
seen one so old.

[Sharpenator 5000 whirs]

[screams]

That's it.
I'm out of here.

Is it just me,

or does she have a problem
with pencil sharpeners?

So, Sheldon, now that
you've seen my plans,

I guess you know
all about me.

Yeah, I guess.

Then I guess you know
what I'm gonna do now.

Uh...

[screams]

Women--you can't
live with 'em.

You can't outrun 'em.

Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my distinct pleasure

to bring you
tonight's entertainment,

Robot Riot 3:
Robot Rampage!

[audience cheering]

Tonight's battle features:

Sir Smashalot.

Incinetron.

Buzz Saw Joe.

The Annihilator.

And the newcomer
to the melee,

Little Dipper.

Beep!

I can't wait to see

The Annihilator's
advanced hydraulics in action.

I can't wait to see
stuff get broked.

[audience cheering]

Let the mayhem begin!

Go get 'em,
Little Dipper!

Beep! Beep!

Beep! Beep!

Beep! Beep!

Beeeep!

Beeeep!

Beeeep!

[laughs]

[robots laughing]

You call that
a robot?

My blender could b*at
that thing.

[laughs]

[laughter]

Thoot.

clang!

Look, lady, I can't
let you in without a ticket.

I would never support
this barbaric display

of robotic
exploitation.

But my friend Tuck
is competing.

He put his heart
and soul into this.

And it means
so much to...him.

What's the matter, Tuck?

Didn't you win?

Win?

I couldn't even compete.

Aw, gee.

I wish there was--

[monotone voice]
something I could do.

Maybe there is, XJ9.

Maybe there is.

Why are you looking
at me like that?

Oh, no. Don't even
think about it, Tucker.

Come on, Jenn.

Those scrappy bullies
would be no match for you.

Absolutely not!

Please!
No!

Please?
No.

Please?
No.

Please?
No.

Please?
No.

Please?
No.

Please?

Okay.

Yes!

I just know
I'm gonna regret this.

Just hang tight in there
till I give you the signal.

Is this absolutely
necessary?

Of course!

Intimidation
is half the battle.

Now, don't come out
till I introduce you.

I already regret this.

bam! bam!

whoosh!

Jeez,
look who's back.

Got more wires and tools
you want us to break, peewee?

Fellow competitors,
meet your doom,

The Tuckinator!

[whispers]
That was your cue.

The Tuckinator?

Come on, Jenn.

[all laughing]

[box rumbling]

Wuzzup, y'all?

[all]
Uh-oh.

Sorry, fellas.

I'll try to make this
as painless as possible.

Sorry. Woopsy.

Excuse me. My bad.

[together]
Whoa.

Whoa.

I mean, it's all
in the wrist, folks.

It'll be easier
to just forfeit.

[all shriek]

[robots]
Abort. Abort.

Abort.

buzz!

[audience cheering]

Happy, Tuck?

Thank you!
Thank you!

Your adulation makes it
all worthwhile.

Jenny, what are you
lounging around here for?

We've got another
contest to win.

There's more?

Yesterday was just
the preliminaries.

Today is the championship.

Sorry, Tuck.

I'm retired.

Please?
I'm begging you.

One more fight--
that's all I ask.

Have mercy on me.

Okay, okay.
Have some dignity.

But this is the last time.

boing! boing!
boing! boing! boing!

Ladies and gentlemen,

fans of gladiatorial carnage,

welcome to the
Robot Riot Championship!

[audience cheering]

Please give an unbridled display
of feverish bloodlust

for yesterday's winner,
The Tuckinator!

Is this great or what?

I feel like an idiot.

Come on, Jenn.

We look great!

You're gonna mop the floor
with these palookas.

You're the greatest!

[sighs]
At least he's happy.

Now, don't worry, fellas.

I'm gonna take it
easy on--

thump!

[weakly]
You.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[roars]

[earth rumbles]

I guess they brought in
the heavyweight division.

[lasers zapping]

I better get
my game face on.

zap!

boing!

[expl*si*n]

[audience]
Oh.

Ah.

Ooh!

[electricity crackling]

thud!

All right, it's time
to bring the pain.

[intensifying music]

♪ ♪

Hi...

ya!

Oh, no, you don't.

Shock me once,
shame on you.

Shock me twice,
shame on me!

[audience cheering]

[announcer]
Whoa, this may be the end
for the metal mistress.

[robot rumbling]

Astounding!

What a fight!

You gotta hand it
to the little lady.

She takes a lickin'
and keeps on kickin'.

[audience cheering]

Oh, Jenny!
That was amazing!

Yeah, yeah.

It was painful too.

Can we go now?

I'm ready to collapse.

Go?

You still have
one more robot to defeat.

Only then will I be
crowned King Rathamanzar,

lord of all automatons.

I shall be adored,
envied, and respected.

I'll finally be somebody.

Is that what this is about?

You already are
somebody, Tuck.

Yeah, Brad's
little brother.

Somebody who's
too small for anything.

The kid who
always gets ignored.

Aw, Tuck.

Don't you see that--

[announcer]
Looks like the championship
bout has begun, folks.

Oh-ho-ho,
this is gonna be good!

Oh, boy.

I am Abomitron.

Prepare for a abomination.

You've gotta be kidding.

Come on, Jenny!

He's your last opponent.

You can do it!

Do it for me!

Immortality is
within my grasp!

[sighs]

cling! cling! cling! cling!

[rapid g*nf*re]

Come on, Jenn!

He's nothing!

You can take him!

[giggles]

Hey, blockhead.

I'm right here.

thump!

[audience cheering]

[screams excitedly]

[laughs wickedly]

Well, thank Jobs
that's over with.

The Cluster!

Struggling and fighting, XJ9.

You can't escape us!

Look!

[audience gasps]

Oh, no!

The Cluster!

They'll tear Jenny apart
after the b*ating she's taken.

And it's all my fault.

I gotta do something.

But what?

Pitiful meat creatures,

we have infiltrated your contest
and bested your champion.

Now we shall conquer
your world.

[Tuck]
Think again,
roach face!

If you want Jenny,

you're gonna
have to go through us.

[audience cheering]

You fools!

Your pitiful auto shop rejects
are no match for us.

He's right.

We need an edge,

something to turn the tide.

Go get 'em,
Little Dipper!

[Little Dipper beeping]

Oh, no! The Cluster has taken
out all of our best robots.

Wait! Who's that little guy
sneaking past 'em?

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Beep!

Beep!

Who dares?

Cluster drones, allow me
to introduce Big Dipper.

Beep!

[audience cheering]

What do you think, folks?

Should we school these guys
Earth-style?

Yeah! Send them back
to their own galaxy!

Milky Way!

Milky Way!

[audience]
Milky Way!

Milky Way!

You heard 'em, Dipper.

Give the fans
what they want.

Beep!

Beep!

Jenny!

Little Dipper.

Thank goodness
you're okay.

Okay?

Son, you are the best
of the best.

I am proud to declare you
King Rathamanzar,

lord of all automatons.

No. No, thank you.

It's not about me.
It's about the robots.

They deserve
the real credit.

But, Tuck, I thought this
was your chance to be someone.

I am someone.

I'm Jenny Wakeman's friend,

and that's enough
for me.

Come on, I'll treat you
to some high octane.

Beep!

Beep?

Beep?

Beep!

[rock music]

♪ ♪