02x07 - Dancing With My Shell/Around The World In Eighty Pieces

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ at the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ but my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ from annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ the story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

[liquid bubbling]

Mom! Guess what!

What is it, XJ9?

Flood, earthquake,
alien invasion?

Better than all those
combined.

Our school is having
a Sadie Hawkins dance.

And this means what, exactly?

It means the girls ask the boys.

I get to ask a boy on a date!

What?

boom!

Oopsie.

[mechanical whirring]

[water whooshing]

[dryer whirring]

splat!

I'm sorry, XJ9,
but you can't possibly go.

The Random thr*at Indicator
has been flashing all day.

Well, who, what,
where's the emergency?

Let me repeat:
Random thr*at Indicator.

Until trouble
actually strikes,

we have no way of knowing
what form it will take.

I cannot allow you
to be distracted

by some silly
teenage mating ritual.

Remember,

[together]
when the red light's a-flashing,
you can't go a-dashing.

Note to self:
destroy Random thr*at Indicator.

What was that?

Nothing; nothing.

Come on, Mom,
everyone's going to be there.

Please?

Please, please,
please, please, please?

Well, I suppose
you could be on call.

[joyful shriek]

But no boys!

[whining]
But, Mom.

How can I go
without asking a boy?

That's the whole point.

Tough toenails.

A boy will just complicate
things if there's a crisis.

But, Mom.

No, XJ9.

The discussion is closed.

No boys.

[mechanical whirring]

[sinister laugh]

And leave the Random
thr*at Indicator alone.

Hey there, Jenny.

No doubt you've heard about
the Sadie Hawkins dance?

You know,
girls ask the boys.

Don't bother, Sheldon.

Mom already told me
no boys.

[party noisemaker bleats]

Ooh!

No boys, huh?

Hey, why not ask
the Silver Shell?

Why him?

Well, technically,
he's not a boy;

he's a crime-fighting
robot.

Yeah.

Mom didn't say
no crime-fighting robots.

And I hear he's going to be
at Mezmers this afternoon.

Thanks, Sheldon.

You're a real pal.

A pal for now,
but soon you shall see

that I can be more,
much more.

Oh, rapture.

No soliloquies
in the hallway.

[bell rings]

[expl*si*n]

whoosh!

Ooh!

Okay, stay cool.

Can't seem to anxious.

[clears throat]

[coolly]
So...dance...wanna?

[spaceship whooshing]

[metallic clanging]

Hey there, XJ9.

[coolly]
Oh...hi.

[excitedly]
So there's this dance at school
where the girls ask the boys

instead of boys asking girls
and I was thinking,

since I'm a girl
and you're a boy,

except that you're a robot,
but anyways,

I was wondering
if maybe you'd want to go

'cause it's going to be
super fun and cool--

[talking very fast]

[electrical zaps]

[coolly]
So...dance...wanna?

Yes, yes, yes, yes!

clang!

Sure.

Cool.

See ya.

[expl*si*n]

I got a date!

Aw.

You never take me
anywhere anymore.

Once she's fallen
for my triple thr*at

of charm,
charisma, and karaoke,

I can reveal the Sheldon
behind the shell,

and we can live
happily ever after.

[giggling girlishly]

This is
a no prancing zone.

[continues giggling]

[Sheldon]
All right, big guy,

tonight's the night.

You got to give me 110%.

Don't let me down.

Why, Jennifer, your servos
are particularly shiny tonight.

May I have this dance?

[Jenny]
Why yes, Shell,

I would love to dance.

And this
Dance Like a Pro program

will give me all
the latest moves.

Got to download it quickly
if I don't want to be late.

[mechanical whirring]

[tinny dance music]

♪ ♪

[mechanical whirring]

crash!

I really must do something
about that draft.

[melodic techno music]

whoosh!

I've got a date;
I've got a date.

I've got a date;
I've got a date.

Uh-oh, I forgot the corsage.

[metal clanging]

ding!

Here you go, Jennifer.

It's freshly picked.

It's beautiful.

[Jenny]
Wow.

My first dance.

Mine too.

Really?

I would have thought
a big, strong robot like you

would have been
to a million of these things.

I, er, uh, meant--I'm not
exactly what you would, uh--

It's just every guy
in town would, uh--

Uh, you're
kind of pretty.

Oh, Shell, you say
the sweetest things.

Whew.

Okay, open door; check.

Compliment her; check.

Don't act like a raging dork;
check.

Soon I'll be able to reveal
my true identity to her.

Just as long
as nothing goes wrong...

[alarm whooping]

The Random thr*at Indicator.

Oh, no, not them.

Not here. Not now.

They'll ruin everything.

Uh, hey, I'm parched.

Why don't you go
get us some punch?

But the punch
is that way.

Besides, we're robots;
we don't drink punch.

Then go to the auto shop
and get us some motor oil,

unleaded gasoline,
propane, anything.

bang!

What's up,
party people?

I thought it was
the guy's job to get the drinks.

Of course,
it's a Sadie Hawkins dance.

Everything's topsy-turvy.

We heard there was
a party here tonight,

and we traveled


'cause we wanna dance!

[intense techno music]

♪ ♪

[roaring belch]

Come on, sweet thing.

Let's do this.

whomp!

Maybe we should
just be friends.

If Jenny sees
these party crashers,

she'll go all superhero-y,

and our perfect night
will be ruined.

I got to get rid of them
without her knowing.

[snapping fingers]

Look, I don't want to get
in your grill,

[weakly]
because I hate confrontation,

but I can't let you stay.

Bring it on,
you big wind-up toy.

I hear there's a nice
bar mitzvah down the street.

clang!

Oh, hi.

I found some motor oil.

thud!

Uh, a toast.

Here's
to a perfect evening.

[glasses clank]

Well, shall we rejoin
the dance?

Uh, let's just
stay in the hall.

I don't feel
like sharing you.

[loud crash in gym]

Ugh--I'll be right back.

I'm going to request
a special song.

Oh, our song.

Well, if we're staying out here,

I think I'll make it
more romantic.

[mechanical whirring]

Come on, kids!

Conga line.
Yee-haw!

[growls]

All right,
this is your final warning.

Leave now or--

Hey, tin woodsman,

have some punch.

Punch.
[giggles]

Now that you've had your punch,
maybe you'd like some snacks.

Or should we say smacks?

Smacks.
[laughs]

[sighs]

crash!

Why do you keep sliding in here
on your back?

Why, this is
the latest dance craze.

You should join me.

It's a blast.

[mechanical whirring]

bang!

[giggling]

Thisis fun.

[speakers reverberating]

I've heard of playing hard
to get, but hard to hang on to?

boom!

crash!

Looks like it's time

to pick up the trash.

Consider these fish fried!

Oh, hi.

Look, I don't know

if you're pathologically shy
or what, but--

hey,

where is everyone?

[whimpering]

I thought if we were alone,
it might be more...

[R&B music]

romantic.

♪ ♪

This is going better
than I ever could have dreamed.

Now is the perfect moment
to reveal myself.

Jennifer, my dear,

I have something
to tell you.

Under this armor,
I'm really, uh...

bang!

I'm really quite light
on my feet.

[record skips]

Let's cut a rug.

♪ ♪

Oopsie.

[glass breaks]

Are you
out of your mind?

Is this some kind
of joke?

I just wanted tonight
to be perfect.

Perfect?

I spent the whole night
in the hall,

and we finally
get in here to dance,

and you shove my head
through a disco ball!

Ha ha, look, gals,

a lover's quarrel.

[laughter]

Oh, great.

Now I'm going to be
a laughingstock at school

and throughout
the entire galaxy!

[laughter continues]

[laughter winds down]

Leave.

Now.

Yeah, well, this party's
getting lame, anyways.

I guess we'll--

Now!

Well, now that
that unpleasantness is over,

we can get back
to our lovely evening.

You lied to me.

You made a fool of me.

Lying I can forgive,
but I willnot be humiliated.

This is a Sadie Hawkins dance.

I invited you,
so now I'm uninviting you.

This date never happened.

whomp!

I'd rather date anyone
than you.

Anyone?

Even Sheldon?

You make Sheldon
look like Prince Charming.

Prince Charming?

I'm the luckiest boy
in the world.

[creaking]

[mechanical whirring]

I thought we agreed
you wouldn't destroy the house

until after Mommy
had her coffee.

I'm making a traditional mud hut

for our school's
Global Grab Bag.

Today we celebrate
world culture.

There'll be mango, mariachis,
Mongolian barbeque--

And mayhem.

Krackus is back.

Oh, Mom.

Don't underestimate him.

Someday he may invent something
that actually works.

Don't worry, Mom.

Nobody takes
Krackus seriously,

not even the Cluster.

Hey, guys,
sorry I'm late.

My mom got all worked up
about Krackus,

the lamest member
of the Cluster.

Oh, lame, am I?

Mock me while you can,
for it is I, the great Krackus,

who will bring you
to your knees.

It is I, the gr--oh!

crash!

It is I who--

Hey, where'd you go?

Over here.

Bah! Who are you?

What do you want
from me?

My name's Jenny,

and I want you
to take a nap.

You seem
like a nice girl, Benny.

Would you like to see
my newest invention?

It's called
the disassembler.

Wow.

Impressive.

Yeah, I know,
it doesn't look like much,

but if you were a robot,
you'd be quite frightened.

Well, let's pretend
that I am a robot.

Let's see it work.

Here we go.

beep

fizzle

Oh, it didn't work.

What a surprise.

[squeaking]

Get her!

There we go.

First, it splits you
into pieces.

Then it scatters them
across the globe.

And with you gone,

your pitiful primate pals
will crumble,

and Cluster
will rule the Earth.

[growls]

Which one of us
is lame now, Junie?

[rumbling]

[bowling pins clattering]

Now to tell my queen
that Earth is defenseless.

beep beep

Ah, didn't I just change
the battery?

[tinkling]

Aw, things like this
always happen

just when I'm about
to enslave the human race.

I've got to get myself together
before Krackus

can fix that communicator
and get in touch with Vexus.

I have an idea.

Run!

I can't believe that old fool
put one over on me.

If I had feet,
I would kick myself.

If I had a neck,
I would strangle myself.

If I give you a hand,
you can slap yourself.

Here you go.

[dreamily]
It's been wonderful
holding your hand.

I guess we better go tell
Mrs. Wakeman.

Are you crazy?

She'd ground me
until the next millennium.

Listen, my mom's minijet

has a tracking device
designed to locate me.

We can use it
to find my body parts.

And she'll loan the minijet
to a dwarf,

two teenagers,
and a disembodied head?

Don't worry;
I have a plan.

XJ9, uh, back so soon?

Oh, um, I forgot
the chips and salsa

for the Global Grab Bag.

You must have inherited
your forgetfulness from me.

I certainly don't remember you
wearing that getup to school.

I swear I'd forget my own head
if it weren't attached.

Stop moving her head
so much.

She's a robot,
not an owl.

You're the one
with the hyper hands.

Knock it off, you guys.

Okay, well, I'm just going
to check by your purse.

Directly in front of me
and a little to the left.

clang!

[Tuck]
Oh, for Pete's sake.

[Jenny]
Tuck.

smack!

ding!

clang!

Bye, Mom.
Good-bye, dear.

[high-pitched]
Bye, Mom.

Good-bye, dear.

[jet engines winding up]

[music box version
ofPop Goes the Weasel]

Ready?

whoosh!

whoosh!

Oh, wait till I find
all the parts

and put the communicator
back together

and power it up
and contact Vexus.

The world will be ours.

[yodeling music]

♪ ♪

[Jenny]
Hey, why can't I get
my body myself?

Sorry, Jenny.

We can't have you scarin'
the simple folk.

Come in.

You guys
let me handle this.

I've got a way
with the Swiss misses.

Hello there,
we were--gulp!

Is good cookie, yeah?

It's the most wonderful cookies
I have ever made.

I owe it all to my cookie cutter
that came from the sky.

That's it!
That's what we're--

More, yes?

You good helper,
yeah?

Madam, please.

We just--

[growls]

Our robot friend needs
your cookie cutter

to save the world
from aliens

who plan to enslave
the human race.

Oh, then why didn't you
just say so?

[yodeling music]

♪ ♪

[exotic Middle-Eastern music]

Uh, I don't know
about this place, Brad.

Relax, Tuck.

We're just
shopping at the mall,

Moroccan style.

[growls]

[roars]

Waaaaa!

Hey, you guys,
I found my arm.

You have to trade him
something for it.

How about a mango?

[squeaks]

Um, 13¢ and a gum wrapper?

[squeaks]

Polyacrylic sweater vest.

An almost-new pair
of size nine loafers.

My plastic cuff links.

[squeaks]

In exchange for that arm,

I'll give you
your very own talking head.

[pants excitedly]

smack!

You can't trade
a head for an arm.

Well, I didn't see you
getting any results.

You know what, Tuck?

[both yelling over each other]

[Brad]
That's it;
I'm sending you to Antarctica.

[roaring]

ding!

[water splashes]

[cell phone rings]

Hello?

Hello, Penny.

I wanted you to know I found all
the parts to my communicator.

And once I put it back together,
the world will be ours.

[hoarse laughter]

crash!

Yeah, thanks for gloating,
Krackus.

So do we just run up
and grab it or?

Don't worry, guys.

I got this one.

[imitates screeching bird]

[screeching]

whoosh!

Go; hurry, Brad.

They're flying faster!

Blue-footed boobies
can't fly, Tuck.

[roars]

What is this place?

It's evolution
gone mad!

[scary organ music]

♪ ♪

Hey, you guys,
I found my leg.

[organ music stops abruptly]

Where is patience?

Do you challenge me?

Uh, we don't want
any trouble.

We just want--

You're on.

Yeah, Jenny,
go get him!

[yelling]

Aaaah!

[metal clanging]

thud!

clang!

smash!

thud!

[metal clanging]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

You are not winner,
yes?

I am not winner, no.

I mean, I'm not winner, yes.

I mean, you're the winner;
you win.

Ivan!

You know rules.

No playing dress-up
after bedtime.

Toys of a little boy's
go bye-bye.

Come on, Jenny,
let's go.

Gaaa!

clang!

♪ The thigh bone's
connected to the shin bone. ♪

How come I can't hook up
your parts?

You need my belly bolt
lynch pin.

It'sthe crucial part
that holds me together.

It's back home
in Tremorton.

whoosh!

You rotten kids!

I'm looking forward
to your enslavement!

Crikey, he's only got
one part left to install.

So do we, Jenny.
Hang on.

[booming crash]

[Jenny]
There it is!

Don't worry, guys.

I've got this one.

[knuckles cracking]

[mechanical whirring]

[dramatic drum beats]

[intense techno music]

♪ ♪

[metal clanging]

Waaaa!

[sobbing]

Okay, we're closed.

Thanks for coming.

Bye-bye!

[pounding on door]

Oh, boy,
now what happens?

[Krackus]
Oh, boy,
I'll tell you what happens.

Cluster wins,
that's what happens.

[on communicator]
Cluster Administration
Switchboard.

How may I direct your call?

Get me Vexus.

[screaming]

[screams]

[metal clatters]

Guys, don't panic.

I've got an idea.

Oh, it's you, Krackus.

This had better not be

another one of your
stupid crackpot schemes.

It is--
er, I mean, it's not.

I mean, it is, but it worked
this time because--

Get to the point,
you idiot.

[clears throat]

I am pleased to announce that
I have immobilized Jenny XJ9.

You may inv*de
the Earth immediately.

[Jenny]
Any time is good for me.

What?

[growls]

I split you apart once;
I can do it again.

Gimmie that.

Looking for this?

Don't you just hate it when
you can't keep it together?

No.

[Vexus]
Krackus, may I see you
in my office?

[metal clattering]

Can I bluff,
or can I bluff?

That was awesome!

We got
a real global grab bag

and a treasure hunt
to boot.

Hey, come on,
let's hide her pieces again.

[both]
Yeah!

Hey, you guys,
that's not cool.

Hey, hey!

[rock music]

♪ ♪