01x10 - Dressed To k*ll/Shell Game

[bunniefuu]

[Jenny]
♪ 5:00, get a call
to go blading ♪

♪ At the skate park
down by the mall, ♪

♪ But my mom says ♪

♪ I gotta prevent
hostile aliens ♪

♪ From annihilating us all. ♪

Hyah!

♪ With the strength
of a million and 70 men, ♪

♪ I guess I really
shouldn't complain. ♪

♪ Still, I wish I could
go for a walk ♪

♪ Without rusting
in the rain. ♪

♪ It's enough
to fry my brain. ♪

♪ So welcome to my life
as a teenage robot, ♪

♪ The story of my life
as a teenage robot. ♪

♪ My teenage robot life. ♪ ♪

[Ominous music]

♪ ♪

[Evil laughter]

Mine!

The pip crystals.

Unimaginable power lost
for centuries.

With the power of the crystals,

Earth will fall
like a ripe melon.

Queen vexus herself
will declare me a hero.

No more uggy buggy smytus
or smytey-pants fatbottom.

I will be smytus,
destroyer of worlds.

[Evil laughter]

Eh.

[Music deflating]

You laugh too.

[Half-hearted laughter]

Like you mean it.

[Chirpy laughter]

That's it.

[Chirpy laughter]

[Howling]

[Pounding]

[Alarm buzzing]

[Laughter subsiding]

Whoosh!

[Weakly laughing]

Shh.

[Growling]

[Ejection noises]

Zoom!

[Radar beeping]

It appears we have a cluster
starship in the neighborhood.

And it looks like
they're chasing something.

Hmm, spheroid object,
crystalline composition.

Energy signature:

Unknown.

Well, whatever it is,
if the cluster wants it,

It must be dangerous.

You'd better--

Whoosh!

[Crackling]

Hmm? Aha!

Xj9, we meet at last.

Come to claim the pip crystals
for yourself, huh?

Pip crystals, the most dangerous
artifacts in the universe.

Well, you can forget--

[Hatch opening]

Clunk!

[Laser f*ring]

Whoosh!

Now to find those crystals.

[Brit]
oh, no, no!

These designs are
all wrong.

None of these will do
for our junior prom.

Our gowns must not
only dazzle.

They must also
shame and humiliate

That tinplated bumpkin xj9.

Is this the best you can do,
jean-phillippe?

But, my dears, I give you
my entire spring collection,

Which you reject as garbage.

You even pooh-pooh
mr. Biscuit's best efforts.

[Whimpering]

Whatever; you better find
some inspiration and fast.

Or we're going to take
our business elsewhere.

But where do I find
this inspiration, my darlings?

From the air?
From the clouds?

The sky?
Where?

[Whistling]

Whoosh!

Crash!

[Tinkly music]

[Both gasp in awe]

[Brit and tiff]
pretty, shiny, glittery!

Girls, brace yourselves.

This season, everything
will be draped in crystals.

[Laughing]

Jean-phillippe international;
please hold.

Jean-phillippe international;
please hold.

Jean-phillippe--

[Banging and hissing]

Bow to me, mortal,
and tremble in fear.

Before you stands smytus,

Lord of the outer rings.

Mayor of moonrovia,

Capo of the crom nebula,

And destroyer of worlds!

[Thunder clap]

I have come
to confront your master,

The one they call
jean-phillippe.

Wow, where to begin?

Where to begin?

First of all, fatty,
I'm not bowing to anyone.

Second, unless you're here
for supermodel auditions,

You're not seeing
anyone's master.

And third, shoo.

Jean-phillippe
international.

Oh, hi, mary.

Go on now.
Shoo.

[Mechanical stamping]

But--
shoo.

[Mechanical stamping]

What's up, girlfriend?

Ellen said what?

[Gasps]
you have got to be kidding--

Oh, I've got to go.

Hello, I am smytelana,
supermodel extraordinaire,

Slim super girl, runway diva,

And destroyer of worlds!

[Thunder clap]

I am from ukrainia.

A ukrainian supermodel.
How exotique; go right in.

Danke.

Supermodel smytelana,
this is jean-phillippe.

Oh!

The crystals!

Jean-phillippe, I have come--

There is no talking
in fashion.

Walking, that is
what we want to see.

Walk?
Like this?

[Techno music]

Mm-hmm; now turn.

Good; and turn and turn.

Now pout.

Now sneer.

Pout.
Sneer.

And strike a pose.

Mm-hmm.

Very nice.

What do you think,
ladies?

She looks strong.

I like her.

As do i.

She's tall and exotic.

You mean
you think I'm beautiful?

Twinkle!

What you reckon it is, ma?

Why, it's one
of them ufos, pa.

Let's cr*ck it open
and see if it has

One of them superpower
orphan babies inside.

I always wanted
one of them.

Ow; what happened?

Why, that's no ufo.

That's one of them
extraterrestries.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh,
the crystals.

Whoosh!

Let's get
your measurements.

Just slip this
under your wings.

Stay away from him.

This is no glamorous
fashion model.

He's a dangerous
cluster criminal.

[Both gasp]

He's only interested
in stealing those crystals.

Oh, right.

The crystals.

Foolish xj9,

Soon the crystals
will be mine again.

Dream on.

After I send you back
to cluster in pieces,

I'll bury those crystals
where no one

Will ever find them again.

[Brit]
silence!

Neither of you is
taking our new dresses.

Brit, tiff,

Get away from the crystals.

Give them to me.

I'll protect you
from their power.

Protect us?

Don't make me laugh.

Child, please;
you just want to make

Your own crystal
prom dress.

Well, that ain't
happenin', loser.

Looo--
[reverberating]

Ser!
Zap!

Thud!

[Both]
ooh.
Hello!

Very impressive.

But smytus is no teenager.

Smytus is a soldier, a warrior,

A cluster champion!

Puh-leeze.

You're nothing but an insect.

Not even an insect--a worm,
a scurvy little worm.

[Radar noise]

Zap!

[Falsetto voice]
I am a warrior!

I am a destroyer of worlds!

[Jean-phillippe]
ladies, please.

Please stop.
I beg of you.

You are destroying my studio,

Scaring away
my ukrainian supermodel,

And you have terrified
poor mr. Biscuits.

[Whimpering]

I must ask you to leave.

And on your way out,
return my crystal gowns.

Your gowns?

These designs
were our idea.

Without us,
you are nothing.

Your designs are derivative.

Your stitches are shoddy.

And you're
probably colorblind.

[Screaming]

I am clashing.

[Sobbing]

Now we stand unopposed.

We can do whatever we want.

We goin' totally rule.

We goin' rule junior prom.

[Cheers and applause]

I guess that's fine
as far as it goes.

But why stop
with prom queens

When we can be
queens of tremerton!

We can remake this hicktown--

Nothing but restaurants
and shopping.

[Tiff]
no more dentist's office.

Zap!

No more library.
Zap!

No more baseball diamond.

Zap!

And speaking of diamonds,

I think it's high time
the good people of tremerton

Did something useful
with their lives--

Like toiling
in the diamond mines.

But not in rags,
do you think?

Tacky.

I think perhaps evening wear
would be nice.

Everyone will be
slaves to fashion.

But the first thing
we should do

Is turn that robo-twit
into a sewing machine.

[Laughing]

Slap!

Snap out of it!

The crystals are
clouding your minds.

Cloudin'?

You need to get out more.

Blast!

Looks like a beautiful
night to me.

This is getting out of hand.

Give me the crystals
before you hurt anything else.

Don't be ridiculous.

Whoosh!

Why would we give this up?

Yeah?
We like hurtin' things.

If you don't give them up--

I'll take them off you!

You need to relax,
child.

Indeed.

Chill out.

[Wind gusts]

[Gusting and tinkling]

Thwack, thwak!

Zap, zap!

Clink!

Shwoosh, shwoosh!

Whoosh!

[Air whipping]

Crash!

Okay, no more kid stuff.

Let's see those crystals deal
with extreme fire power.

Zap, zap!

[Tiff]
be careful, girl.

[Brit]
these things do have
a tendency to backfire.

[Whistling]

Zoink!
Blast!

Blast, blast!

Blast, blast!

Hidin' from something?

[Gasps]

What is it, sugar?

You feelin' okay?

Overwhelmed?

Dizzy?

[Both]
feeling surrounded?

[Groaning]

Oh, dear,
she seems quite confused.

Why don't we
lend her a hand?

[Pulsing]

Zap!

Doing!

That's it.

Now put her down gently.

Zap!
[Crackling]

[Whistling]
crash!

[Books fluttering]

Thud

[Mechanical noise]

[Tiff]
had enough,
you cybernetic nerd?

Are you ready for a lifetime
of sewing hemlines?

All right, you win.

I can't defeat the power
of the crystals.

Not even the crystals
can protect you from this.

No, it can't be!

It's horrible.

Oh, that ain't right!

Come on; we have
to get off the streets

Before it's too late.

[Tires squealing]

[Wakeman]
xj9, are you damaged?

Why aren't you pursuing
the crystals?

Don't worry, mother.

I'm positive we'll never see
those crystals again.

Bang!

[Awed vocals]

[Banging shut]

[Bubbly noise]

Zoom!

[Jaunty music]

Zip, zip!

[Rustling]

[Music gaining intensity]

Pop!

[Engine revving]

Pop!

Pop!
[Air whipping]

[Mechanical noise]

[Whipping]
clink!

[Twirly noise]

Clink!

Zoom!

Good morning, jenny.

Good morning, sheldon.

Allow me, fair maiden.

Zoom!

Yes, sir, another glorious week
filled with joyous learning.

Speaking of learning,
I've learned

Of a wonderful social event
this weekend.

They're having
a grand opening celebration

For the new reptile haus
at the zoo.

Everybody who's anybody
is going to be there.

Well, I thought we could just--

Clunk!

[Laughter]

Sheldon, a-are you okay?

Sheldon?

Ka-ching!

Anyway, it's going
to be really fun.

And I'd like to take you,

You know, like a date.

[Dramatic music]

Gee, sheldon,
I don't know

If I want to spend
all of saturday with--

Lizards.

Thanks anyway.
See ya.

But everybody
loves lizards.

Ancient tribes
worshipped lizards as gods.

They all got wiped out
in volcanic eruptions,

But that's not
the lizards' fault.

Lizards eat small rodents
or even big ones.

Rodents, that is.

Big lizards can eat
a whole buffalo.

[Whispering]
benjamin franklin once said,

"Give me lizardy,
or give me death."

Maybe that was
someone else.

It's still
pretty profound

No matter which way
you slice it.

[Schoolbell rings]

[All happily talking]

Did you know that lizards
are cold-blooded?

It sounds wacky, I know;
but it's true.

Sheldon!

Look, sheldon.

You're a nice boy,
and I like you as a friend.

So like a boyfriend?

She said, "boy"
and "friend."

I'm her boyfriend.

No, sheldon,
just a friend friend.

A boyfriend friend?

No, just a regular
friend friend.

Is there someone else?

No, anything but that.

I simply
could not bear it.

No, it's nothing
like that.

It's just--

I can change, jenny.

How can I make myself
datable to you?

I'm not sure that's possible.

I should probably date
someone more like myself.

You know,
a nice robot boy.

A robot boy?

Look around you, jenny.

There aren't any.

If you're holding out
for a robot boy,

You're going to have
a lot of lonely saturday nights.

What I mean is no robot
could love you like I do.

Robots are cold
and unfeeling.

[Ominous music]

Slap!

No, wait!

I didn't mean
all robots.

You're not cold
or unfeeling.

Gee, thanks.

Oh, I'm so stupid.

Stupid,
stupid, stupid.

[Man]
help!

Help me, please!

Boing, boing

Yeah, yeah,
I'm here.

What's the deal?

He's trashing
all my teacups.

[expl*si*n and shattering]

[Angrily mooing]

[Sighing]

Bam!
[Air whipping]

[Man]
fear not, good citizens
of tremerton.

I, the silver shell
shall save you.

Oh, yeah?

[Mechanical whirring]

[Heroic music]

Oh, yeah.

[Air whistling]

Thud!

Stand aside, little girl.

This is a job
for a real hero.

[Snorting]

Whoosh!

Oh, those servos.

That shine.

That bumper.

What a dreamboat.

Crash!

Whoosh!

[Angrily mooing]

Ah, get off me!

Get off me!
Get off me!

Wow.

[Roaring and charging]

He's waving at me.

But that busybody bull
is in the way.

A blast of hot,
a blast of cold, and voila.

[Galloping]

Zap!

[Burbling]

Zap!

[Crackling]

Thud!

Another glorious victory
for the silver shell.

[Snorting]

[Cheers]

Wow, you handled
that mechanical bull

Like a real urban cowboy.

Gee, thanks.

Now, run along, missy.

A hero of my caliber
has no time

To dillydally
with the likes of you.

Excelsior!

Zoom!

[Wind gusting and crackling]

I'll never polish again.

[Sheldon]
ah, jenny, judging
by your blissful demeanor,

I'm guessing you've
decided to attend

The reptile haus
opening after all.

Now, we should
get there early

'Cause there's bound
to be a line.

Lizards are hot right now.

Crash!

Jenny?

Are you okay?

I'm more than okay.

I've never been happier.

I've met the robot
of my dreams, the silver shell.

What?
You like him?

But he's a total jerk.

How would you know?

Have you met him?

What's he like?

Did he mention me?

What did he say?

Tell me, tell me,
tell me, tell me.

No, I haven't met him.

But I heard
he's a real jerk.

Anyway, don't you
feel threatened?

Another superhero could
really steal your thunder.

He's stolen more
than my thunder.

He's stolen my heart.

Sure, he's a little rough
around the edges.

But it's nothing
that couldn't be buffed out

By the right robot.

Crash!

[Radar beeping]

It's him.

[Screaming]

Crash!

Wow.

He's so commanding.

Hi, silver shell.

It's me, jen--ny.

I don't know if you remember.

But we met yester--day.

So what kind of music--
do you like?

What's your favorite mo--vie?

[Galloping]

Thud

Didn't anyone ever teach you

That it's impolite
to interrupt?

That's all right,
little lady.

I'll take it from here,

[Cheers]

[Flash popping]

So, um--

Have you heard
about the grand opening gala

For the new reptile haus
at the zoo?

Did you say, "reptile haus"?

Uh-huh; it's going
to be really fun.

I thought maybe
we could go together?

You know, like a date?

Oh, gee, I don't know

If I want to spend all
of saturday with--lizards.

I got us tickets already.

Here's yours.

I'll meet you there
at 2:00 sharp, okay?

See ya saturday.

[Galloping]

Clunk!

[Beeping]

I wonder where he is.

Doing, doing

[Gasps]

Oh, hello, sheldon.

Jenny, come inside.

You're missing
all the fun.

I'm waiting
for the silver shell.

We have a date.

Uh, jenny, I'm pretty sure
he's not going to show up.

He's not really
a social type.

The only thing
he's interested in

Is crime-fighting.

Say, that gives me an idea.

[Sipping]

These creatures are
simply ghastly.

But the hors d'oeuvres are
positively divine.

Doing!

[Screaming]

I say, old bean,
that woman had

A belgian garden snake
wrapped around her digits.

Nonsense, that was a cambodian
river serpent, old chap.

[Ribbits]

I say, old chap,
you seem to have

A burmese frog-toad
perched upon your scalp.

And you have a tibetan trilling
lizard on your dome, old bean.

[Both screaming]

[Screaming]

People, people, remain calm.

These reptiles are harmless.

[Screaming]

Release a few harmless reptiles;
cause a little innocent mayhem.

Silver shell shows up,
saves the day,

And we fly off
into the sunset together.

Although he hasn't shown up yet.

Maybe we need
a little bigger mayhem.

Pop!

Come on, gramps.
Join the party.

[Creaking]

Come on; come on.

Let's get you guys
back in your tanks.

It was terrifying.

I never want to see another
reptile as long as I live.

[Sheldon]
hey, lady.

See; I told you
they're harmless.

[Screaming]

[Volcanic rumbling]

[Glass shattering]

That one, however, is deadly.

[Hiss-growling]

Zzoom!

Uh, jenny.

A little help would be
most appreciated.

No, no, my intervention
is unnecessary.

My silver wilver
shelly welly will come.

Are you sure about that?

Any minute, he's going to burst
through those doors

And save the day.

Well, whatever
you think is best.

[Crunching]

[Tense music]

♪ ♪

Zoom!

Snap!

[Air whipping]

[Hissing]

[Stretching noise]

Snap!

Whoosh!
Thud!

[Air whipping]

Thud!
[Growling]

Thud!

Okay, mr. Grumpy.

Playtime's over.

Jenny, no.

He's a protected species.

Of course he is.

Whoosh!

Whoosh, snap!

Whoosh!

Snap!

See.

I made a poodle.

The other snakes are never

Gonna let me live this down.

[Cheers]

Amazing.

She saved the day.

Hurrah!

[Sighs]

I can't believe
he didn't show.

I told you he was a jerk.

Now you can forget him
and move on.

I'll never forget him.

I'll love that robot
forever.

Slap!

How can you love him?

You don't even know him.

For all you know,
he's not even a robot.

Don't say that.

It would break my heart.

[Ominous music]

[Swooshing open]

This is all your fault.

You were supposed to show her

What a jerk
a robot boy could be.

You blew it.

She still likes you.

And if I tell her the truth,

It'll break her heart.

[Ominous music]

Oh!

Clunk!

Ow, ow, ow.

Crash!

I've created a monster.

[Rock music]