05x06 - 100 Feet From Catastrophe

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Below Deck…

Watch the bow, watch the bow,
Watch the bow.

-[thud]
-God damn it!

I can promise you
there's gonna be a change

in the configuration of this crew.

I hope that Lee just cans
one of these f---ers.

Are you a new crew or something?

The new boatswain.

-EJ.
-Nice to meet you.

I should be f---ing boatswain.

Just a f---ing slap in the face.

You're sleeping in the crew mess.

Well, of course.

They're just trying to f---
with me at this point.

-I'd love to take you on a date.
-Okay.

You brought me to a nude beach?

-Oh, my gosh.
-You're an assh*le.

You're a horrible date.
Let's get f---ed up.

Partying and drinking

kind of ruined my relationship with my ex.

Now I've probably just embarrassed myself.

I've been working my ass off,

but Bri's getting
the entire afternoon off.

-It's not fair.
-Bradley and Summer Smith.

Also a trained gourmet chef.

How's everything so far?

My steak is way past medium.

That's a problem. Risotto was underdone.

Oh, no.

This brake wasn't disengaged.

-That's all the metal.
-Oh, sh--.

What a f---ing idiot.

[horn blares]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[light upbeat music]

Can I get anybody

something to drink
besides sparkling water?

Sparkling water sounds great.

Yay.

Charter four,
the most boring charter ever.

All right, let's get out of here.

Lot of friction,

which isn't good for it.

It's strange that it would
even move, right?

It's really straineous on it,
but it'll do it.

I should have checked it. But I thought

that he would have already done that.

Well, that's why it's so hot.

The gears are working
up against the brake,

which isn't good for it.

I got to double-check everything,

'cause these guys are just
a bunch of numbdies.

Jen, if you'll go flip laundry real quick

and then come right back up.

Okay.

[sighs]

I've been working harder than Bri.

I don't think that Kate's
trying to wear me down

to the point of me quitting,

but I do know that it sucks
to be me right now.

I'm k*lling it.

When we pull that anchor,

I don't care if it's him setting it up.

-I want you to check it.
-Okay.

'Cause he just pulled it up
with the hand brake on.

So you're going to teach
me a lot of stuff, right?

Well, try to.

Like, picture a brake on a bicycle.

You're running down a hill,
and you're holding it down,

and you're pedaling at the same time.

When you and I are together,
and you give orders

but then Nico is going to give orders. And
if they're different…

We're just a mess.

There's a reason why I'm here.

Captain Lee called me because
things aren't being run right.

Pull it. Pull it. Pull it. Pull it.

-Whoa.
-[thud]

What the f--- now?

The overall feeling on board

is not where it should be.

He knows his stuff, and I know my stuff.

I want you to check it
even if it's him pulling it.

But it doesn't mean that
whatever is going on

is because of Nico's methods.

Yeah.

At least I know you've done it every time.

All right, Matt,
what's on the schedule today?

Lunch on board with, like,
the lobster and--

-That sounds perfect.
-Okay.

-I appreciate that.
-No worries.

Last night, I think I may have
blown the dinner.

So the risotto's a little underdone.

-All right.
-I need to put

my personal sh-- aside
and focus on the meal.

That's the plan. Thank you.

Thank you.

[sighs]

[upbeat music]

Oh, sh--.

We got a little leakage
in the laundry room, girls.

Wait, are they both overflowing?

-They both.
-Ugh!

That's totally Jen.

[both laugh]

Jen. [laughs]

-[sighs]
-I have more patience with Jen

because I know, like,
yachting is very new to her.

But I find myself feeling like
I'm almost doing more work.

There are actually like…

a legit foam part for both of the washers

Yeah, I know.

Jen, Jen, Kate.

Go ahead.

Yeah, can you come
to the stew pantry, please?

How much soap did you put in the washers?

Not much. Why?

Because apparently
both of them were foaming

out the top and the bottom.

So let's see which soap you used.

I have been busting my butt.

Just to…

You could probably use a quarter of that.

But with Kate,

I don't think I can ever
do anything right.

Let's just use less soap.

Oh, man!

Okay, this is one of
the most beautiful places

I've ever been.

♪ ♪

Is that Eclipse?

Yeah, and there's the Maltese Falcon.

Crazy, dude. All the big girls here today.

-We in Ballerville?
-Yeah, mon.

We're in high season in St. Barts.

There's some big boys over there.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg.

Everybody who's anybody

is typically in St. Barts right now.

-You guys ready on the stern?
-Yes, sir.

-Standing by.
-Drop now.

Two sh*ts out.

Okay, let's get some toys
in the water for these guys.

You ready? Gonna get in the water?

I love it.

Let's get the slide over.

[grunts] It's down.

Ooh-ya-ka!

All right, cheesy tourist down the slide.

There you go, right? [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

-Whoa.
-That was actually hilarious.

All right, Fred, you got
style points for that.

♪ ♪

-Hey.
-Can I ask your advice?

-Yeah.
-You've been in yachting

a lot longer than I have, obviously.

-Yeah.
-Um, I'm in a weird spot,

like, sleeping in the crew mess, you know?

Yeah.

How long do you think
we'll have EJ with us for?

He's gonna be with us
as long as we need him

to be with us.
I really feel bad for Chris.

I think he's actually handling
his situation

pretty well, all things considered.

I'm thinking about sleeping in the bilge.

If I were you, I would
just take the bilge,

be happy for the extra help on deck,

learn everything you can,

and go make that bilge your own.

That's good advice.

[laughter]

Can we eat lunch by 12:45?

Sure.

Oh, sh--.

It's so bizarre. I know I had lobster.

I don't have lobster on the boat.

I've promised the guest fresh lobster.

That's not good.

-Captain, Captain, Matt.
-Go, Matt.

Is it possible to send a tender to get
some fresh lobster?

Copy that. I could have
Nick go on the Intrepid.

So they're going to get
the lobsters fresh for lunch?

Yeah.

Matt doesn't think ahead too much.

Awesome.

Should we dry the decks?

-Um…
-Or the bow first?

He's doing that right now,

so me and you, why don't we concentrate?

We'll get that knocked out
and then help them.

Roger.

Hey, Baker?

Let's hold this off till later,

'cause this isn't a guest area.

So let's just finish the main deck.

Okay, roger.

EJ was wanting to dry here, so I'll just…

What's that?

Me and EJ were just like, "Well"--

I asked him which side
we should dry first,

and he was like, "Let's do the bow," but…

Yeah, we'll do guest areas instead.

Word.

I don't think the guests
are gonna be hanging out

with the anchors too much.

I don't want to piss anyone off

or hurt anyone's feelings.

At the end of the day,
they're both my boss,

so I just want to just do
whatever I'm told, I guess.

Deck crew, deck crew, Matt.

Do you know if Nick is back
with the lobsters yet?

Uh, no, he's not back yet, Matt.

F---.

Okay.

Come on.

Everybody's hungry.

-12:45.
-I'm starving.

Has your lobster come yet?

No, it hasn't come yet.

Where is that guy?

The lobster would be fantastic.

[narrator] Coming up…

We are drifting into the Maltese Falcon.

We're gonna f---ing hit 'em.

-Go the other way then.
-Son of a bitch.

Brace yourself.

Deck crew, deck crew, Matt.

Do you know if Nick is back
with the lobsters yet?

No, he's not back yet, Matt.

F---.

-Sparkling for you?
-What time is it?

-12:50.
-I'm starving.

-Where is that guy?
-Lobster would be fantastic.

My guests are dying out there.

-[yawns]
-Your lobster come yet?

No, it hasn't come yet. It's on its way.

Are the salads ready? 'Cause
we could get 'em started.

-Yeah, sure.
-What's the dressing?

There's a lemon vinegar dressing on there.

Lemon vinegar.

Oh, f---. I'm freaking out right now.

I promised these guests lobsters,

and now the lobsters aren't on the boat.

And this is a problem.

So to start, we have a Romaine salad

with sun-dried tomatoes and cheddar

with a lemon vinegar dressing.

Pardon.

Oh, it's great.

I love those heirloom tomatoes.

-They're so good.
-Mm-hmm.

And then behind you, we've got

some very, very fresh lobster tail.

Communication is still…

It's like, a lot confused…

because you are giving order,

then EJ giving orders…

-We are all over the place.
-Yeah.

Ugh! It's so frustrating.

Just because someone's been

in the yachting industry for a while

doesn't mean they know what they're doing.

Hey, guys.
I have some brand new supplies.

Live lobsters coming in.

Nick, can you run that
to the galley, please?

Galley?

Straight to Matt. ASAP.

-How's everything.
-A little bland.

Watch out. Lobster coming through.

Are the tails gonna be in the shell

or out of the shell?

I'm gonna cook them in the shell.

I'm gonna take them out
and then put them back in.

Okay, shell bowls.

Ugh!

Oh! They're full-bodied.

Are they alive right now?

No, they're not alive now.

Think he's torturing the lobsters?

Ugh!

Oh, I don't like that they're moving!

Oh, it's a family!

How long on the lobster?

-Right now.
-Okay.

-Yum, yum.
-Oh, it's beautiful.

We had a lobster miracle.

Well, not for the lobsters.

They just came down.

Fresh local lobster.

-Wow.
-Awesome.

-Amazing!
-Thank you.

Pardon me. Thank you.

That doesn't get any better.

Matt is on fire.

Oh, good. I'm so glad.

These are awesome.

-Matt?
-Yup.

They love the lobsters.

-Thanks, Kate.
-Mm-hmm.

Appreciate it.

-All right, Chris.
-Say what?

You and I have to zip
these two cushions up.

Let's do it.

Water toys in the water.

Can we throw a Jet Ski in the water?

Absolutely, yeah.
I'll drop it down right away.

Moving a little screwy off the release.

Okay, sir. We can attach it here.

You take a Jet Ski as well?

Absolutely.

We're making moves here.

A little sunset spin, huh?

-So, Matt…
-Yes.

These people are not drinking.

-Right.
-They're not really

into anything but food.

So he wants "a tasting of Caribbean."

I don't see anything
real goofy about the cuisines.

He wants some tasting menus.

I just want
to communicate that to you now.

I would just-- whatever you're gonna make

and then kick it up a little extra.

Gotcha. Kate's right.

I need to put my sh-- aside
and focus on the meal tonight.

We already have an extra deckhand,

which could possibly mean
less tip for all of us.

Tonight is the night
to really bring the A game.

Tearing it up out there?

That was awesome. I would do that again.

Crew, all guests are out of the water and
back on the yacht.

[pulsing music]

♪ ♪

Never, never, ever without a shirt.

You never know when a guest
is gonna come up.

This is drying.

That's what those shirts are made for:

to be wet.

Copy that.

You know what?

Some of these windows
are still a little salty.

There's just still some salt
on the windows,

so I'm getting ready
to go around to do that.

It's super caked on it.

Bruno's been doing
the windows; it's been fine.

So he'll do his way. You do your way.

And life is good.

Yeah, but in the end of the day,

this is how it turns out, so it's like--

Who did these windows?

He rinsed these windows,

and this was his deal.

-Right.
-So…

-We'll just do them over again.
-That's all I'm saying.

Well…

I'm coming on board
because there's problems.

I believe that Nico is just maintaining,

and I don't think he's got any future

as long as he acts this way.

Me and you, we're basically

accommodating each other
right now, you know?

Just they're trying to learn,

and I'm trying to teach them my way.

You got your way.

I'm just trying to get in there, I guess,

as well as I can.

Dealing with EJ is like…

dealing with syphilis.

You just don't want to deal with it,

but you have to.

You got a different way.

I don't care as long as
they don't look like this.

Yeah, exactly.

Good, good, good.

It's not really working at all.

Jen, Jen, Kate.

Dinner's at 8:30.

[sighs]

-Hey, Kate?
-Hello.

Can I call my daughter real quick.

Ten minutes.

-Thank you.
-[line rings]

Hi, Mom.

Hey.

Can I FaceTime you, Mommy?

[tearfully] No, because I'm told

that I have ten minutes
to talk to you in two days.

It pisses me off.

I want to talk to you however
long I want to talk to you,

so my boss can get over it.

I got a little stuffed animal!

Back home,

if I have a really horrible day,

I just look at my daughter,

and she smiles at me,
and everything's better.

I want you to always remember
that Mommy loves you.

Here, I can't do that,

and it's starting to drive me crazy.

Can you hear me?

Hello?

Ugh! So frustrating.

I finally was getting
somewhere with these guys,

and he's just f---ing taking
a step back right now.

So how's everything going?

It's-- it's such a simple--

It's hard, because Nico has
his way, I have my way,

and, ugh, it's a tough thing here, right?

It's either I'm gonna completely let him

just take control of it,

or I'm gonna be a f---ing assh*le to him.

We just got to find a happy medium here.

Yeah.

-I hope it works out.
-Yeah, me too.

Just so you know,

that's salted and unsalted butter.

-Oh.
-Ooh!

This is the tuna.

I have one last night
to impress the guests,

so I'm doing a local tasting menu.

I love doing tasting menus,

because it really makes you
focus on the food.

So hopefully this will
turn it all around for them.

-That's ready?
-Yes, it's ready.

This is your first course. It's ceviche.

The three of you are having tuna,

and you're having grouper.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

That we did today
was f---ing embarrassing,

and I should put a f---ing bag
over my g*dd*mn head.

This is your first course. It's ceviche.

The three of you are having tuna,

and you're having grouper.

Ooh, delicious.

Oof! That's awesome.

[upbeat music]

And next we have the bisque.

Looks great.

Second course is gonna be
a Caribbean lobster bisque.

-Ooh.
-Oof, that's off the chart.

♪ ♪

Matt, they're so, so happy.

Oh, good. Me too.

What is that smell. It smells so good.

Dinner.

Who is this man in the kitchen,

and what has he done with Matt?

This guy is intense. He's in the zone.

He is breaking a sweat.

-So tomatoes at six?
-Correct.

It's not done. It's not finished.

Oh, man.

Right here, we have grilled mahi

with asparagus.

Really good.

This is the best mahi mahi I've ever had.

-Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.
-Really good.

So yesterday there was a
little hiccup with the risotto.

Mm-hmm.

Today everything has been off the charts.

Oh, I'm so glad to hear that.

He's nailed everything today.

The guests would really
love you to come out

so they can give you an "attaboy."

Okay.

I'm back

Now I feel like the bad--

like I've just kind of like, "Zzzzzhhh,"

kind of I'm back to myself.

-So we wanted to thank you.
-Oh my gosh.

That was absolutely awesome.

Sometimes when you, like,
get bad feedback,

it makes you, like, prove
yourself a little bit more.

Yeah.

That was the best mahi I've had.

Wow. Thanks, guys.

Tonight is gonna be casino night.

I'm so excited for you girls!

They want all the toys out
and a theme party, casino.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my gosh,

they're, like, fancy bunny ears.

Oh, my God, I love them.

How was your day today?

Nico and EJ are, like,

one side, "All right, let's do this."

Go to the other side, "No, do that."

But that's what happened today.

I know.

Nico, I was wondering,

can I borrow Chris for the evening?

-Absolutely.
-Hey, Chris, will you come out

wearing your white epaulet shirt

-and your black pants?
-Copy, copy.

I feel bad for Chris. I feel like he's the

black sheep-- he doesn't even
have a bed anymore.

I'd love for him to participate

in tonight's casino theme party.

-How did this come about?
-Kate.

What makes her think
I know how to deal cards?

You can pretend.

I'm here for ya.

Do you know how to deal anything?

-Attitude.
-Okay.

-Do you know any card tricks?
-Nope.

Blackjack?

I know how to play that game, yes.

Okay, good, so you are going
to be the blackjack dealer.

I'm able to charm

majority of the people on the planet.

Captain's one I don't think

I'm ever gonna get around to charming.

But if I get to sit down

and have fun with the guests

and, like, everyone is
gonna leave us alone,

we're gonna have fun.

Girls, girls, can you bring the guests up?

Copy.

You can do it, bilge boy.

Are you feeling lucky tonight?

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Casino night, huh?

[people cheer]

-Look at this.
-Awesome!

Nico and EJ

to the bridge.

Copy that.

Mr. Lee.

Okay, so we're finishing up charter four,

and I want to get both of your
unbiased opinions

on the condition of the deck crew.

I think Baker is definitely
doing really well.

Bruno has improved since day one.

Chris, um, no improvements
since you've gotten here.

EJ, thoughts?

Having been in the industry

and had to deal with
a lot of sh---y workers,

I see some potential in the guy.

Whoo! Here we go.

We're playing
for real big dollars tonight.

-Yes.
-All the money.

Don't forget to tip your dealer.

As far as Bruno,

the guy came from cruise ships,

has no concept of the yachting world.

[laughs] There's culture shock.

-Right?
-Yeah.

One thing I want to
point out to you about Bruno.

Where does he think he can
just roll around the deck

without a shirt?

You never know when a guest
is gonna come up.

You're never, ever, ever without a shirt.

Huge mistake on his part tonight.

If we happen to go down one more person,

do you guys see an issue
with dealing with the deck?

In the end of the day,
all of them are real green.

I know you guys got your hands full.

-All right, guys.
-All righty.

Thanks. Carry on.

Redemption always feels good,

and being a chef on a boat
isn't about being perfect.

It's about proving to myself
I can always be better.

And today was a great day.

And you want to share that with someone.

Thanks for playing tonight, Brad.

-Had fun with you.
-Thanks, brother.

See you in the morning.

All right.

♪ Let's see if I can get set up in here ♪

Sleeping next to instant oats
and dried fruit

and toilet paper and everyone's luggage,

not my first pick.

But I got a hammock and some privacy.

I'm moving up in the world.

Just need some wi-fi,

rent this sh-- out on Airbnb.

[lively guitar music]

[alarm beeping]

♪ ♪

Good morning, sunshine.

What's up, crew?

I have something really,
really awesome to tell you.

-What's that?
-Last night Brianna kissed me.

-Ooh!
-Really?

It was in my dreams.

-Aw!
-Damn it, Bruno.

Some butter, baby.

That is a crazy boat.

Maltese.

Like, when they press a button,

all the sails come down at the same time.

It's perfection.

I would give my left testicle

to work on the Maltese Falcon.

It's the pinnacle of all yachts.

We need to be off boat by about 11:15.

Okay, sure.

We have a helicopter picking us up.

That's the way to travel.

EJ and Nico, it looks like

we might have dragged
a little anchor overnight.

We're too close to Falcon.

We're gonna have to move
a big closer to Gustavia.

-Copy.
-Roger.

There's a lot of boats out there.

The wind's fluctuating.

And if you're not comfortable
with your anchorage,

the best thing you can do
is pick it up and move.

Is it a pain the ass? Absolutely.

Let's do something with the Intrepid.

Copy.

There you go.

We're just gonna move
literally 500 feet forward.

We are drifting into the Maltese Falcon.

I want the Intrepid cut loose.

I want somebody in the Intrepid

driving it away from this boat.

We are so close
to Maltese Falcon right now,

it's unbelievable.

That's almost look-in-the-windows close.

Let me know when you guys are clear.

Copy that.

In order for the captain to move the boat,

we have to load
all the Jet Skis and tenders.

But that means both me and EJ
have to be off the boat.

Get on the anchor. Get ready to pull it.

So the rest of the deckhands
are gonna reset the anchor.

Never a dull moment.

Pull, pull, pull!

Okay, tow line's clear.

Clear to maneuver

-sh--, we have no keys.
-Huh?

Son of a bitch.

You cut it loose without
the f---ing engines running.

-Why?
- Hurry up.

Let's tow me out of here.

Man, these are really good.

Like a bunch of numbdies.

Can we please get me out of here

so I don't f---ing hit this boat?

The current's kind of always
pumping through St. Barts,

and it's just a scary situation,

because I have no keys.

Okay, let's go with the current.

-This way?
-Yeah, let's go with it.

I think in this moment, I'm the only one

who doesn't screw up anything,
mess up anything.

I'm not going to get
any f---ing credit for it.

Nobody's going to notice, but I know.

Don't have enough competent
people to go around,

so we end up looking like g*dd*mn idiots.

Look how f---ing close we are.

You never get in the tender
and cut it loose,

one, without the keys,

and, two, without the engines running.

Nico's got his head up his ass.

F---, I don't know why
we're going this way.

Okay, go the other way, then.
Let's just f---ing ram it.

We are 100 feet away from catastrophe.

Son of a bitch.

We got to go with the current, EJ.

All right, buddy.

I'm just listening
to what you're telling me.

We're gonna f---ing hit 'em.

Hold on. Stop.

-Brace yourself.
-What a f---ing joke.

I don't know why we're going this way.

Go the other way, then.
Let's just f---ing ram it.

-Thank you so much.
-You're welcome.

Is that a view, or is that a view?

Maltese Falcon right now,

they are all going, What the hell?

sh--.

We got to get out of here right now,

or sh--'s gonna go south real quick.

[intense music]

We're gonna f---ing hit 'em.

Son of a bitch.

EJ! It's too close.

What a f---ing joke.

I think it's been a really successful

little vacation for us, guys.

[EJ] This is like the story of the little
boat that could.

I don't see

any f---ing part about this that's funny.

Baker, you got the control?

Baker, wake up.

Oh.

You want me to pull the anchor?

Yes, I do want to pull the anchor now.

Roger.

That needs to be on, right? The brake?

Take the hand brake off, right?

No, no, leave it-- leave it on?

Baker, you know this by now.

Hand brake has to come off.

Won't it drop if I do that?

Son of a bitch.

-Anchor's off the ground.
-Keep it at the waterline.

All I want to do
is get the guests off the boat

so I can rip the entire crew
just a brand-new one.

Nautical royalty.

Doesn't get better than that.

Give me 3 1/2 sh*ts now.

That sounds like anchor's going down.



Deck crew, get the boats back here,

and prepare for getting
the guests off the boat.

We're gonna be having
a conversation later.

I've never seen such a collective group

of f---ing idiots in my life.

-Oh-ho-ho!
-That was too close.

Here we go.

It is my job to make sure

that our deck crew is prepared.

And, clearly, I failed at that.

Oh, cool. Thank you, buddy.

What the f---just happened?

At this point, Captain might even fire me.

I would just clear the whole deck crew

and start from scratch.

What's up, dude? It's so nice out.

I know.

Before you play Hangman,

will you please wash all these mugs?

-Yeah.
-St. Barts is expensive.

Yeah, they got all the high-class stores.

Bri gets to enjoy the sun,

and I have to be the princess?

Did you enjoy your break?

I did. I did.

Your break from your break.

I mean, I'm not complaining.

[scoffs]

Jen came onto the boat really excited,

and now it's just gone.

Hey, deck guys,

the guests are gonna take
the tender to the dock,

so you got 20 minutes.

Oh, man, this morning was so close.

That was f---ed.

Nico's supposed to be
the lead of these guys.

He's not in it to win it.

Something needs to change.

Really making a name for ourselves.

Sure we want to pack it up?

Get those bags on it.

Wow.

What's her name?

Melissa, Dan, Summer, Matt.

-Melissa, Dan?
-Yeah, and that's Summer.

Thank you, my card dealer extraordinaire.

Captain, I really appreciate it.

It's been a pleasure.

[people talking at once]

Good-bye. Sir.

Thank you so much for having us.

Poker night was awesome.

And Chef Matt, you nailed it.

And this is one of the
highlight trips of our marriage

and of my life.

Sir, thank you. This is for all y'all.

-Have a safe trip home.
-Yes, sir.

-Bye!
-Thank you.

Despite all that happened this charter,

I think the guests actually
did have a good time.

Bye, guys.

For starters, I mean, they didn't die.

-Take care!
-Bye!

The good-byes are over.

Let's get up there and go to work.

I'm gonna go change…

careers.

-How are you?
-I'm good.

Really, good thanks. I'm
just done with this charter.

There are only four guests,

but it felt like there were, like, ten.

But it was good. You did a good job.

You too. You k*lled it.

All crew, in the crew mess now.

Copy.

There's not quite as much room here.

It's like we added somebody.

[laughs]

[laughs] Sorry.

-Hi.
-Hello, everyone.

This charter is a first for me.

Sober people, I-- they're-- it's kind of--

It was hard to tell if they
were having a good time.

They left what appeared to be happy.

They were happier than I was,

which I'll go into later.

EJ's gonna be hanging out with us

for the foreseeable future.

We're fortunate to have him.

No worries.

I got one stripe.

I'm gonna go back to polishing.

Tip-wise, we ended up with $21,000.

-It's $1,750.
-Dang.

Not bad for people that don't drink.

-Thank you…
-Very much, sir.

Captain. Might be sleeping in the bilge,

like this airless storage locker,

but we took $21,000.

Like, pretty huge.

So that'll be fine.

We're gonna be spending
the night on the hook here.

You guys can go into St. Barts.

Take your money with you.

If you're getting drunk here,
it's gonna cost you.

-You're the--
-Pay attention.

Are you gonna pay attention, Baker?

-Sorry.
-Okay.

Tomorrow's turnover day,

so let your conscious be your guide.

I will have no mercy
on you assholes in the morning.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Thanks.

I'm gonna be organizing my room.

I'm relieved, because I was thinking

that maybe you were gonna get the boot,

but looks like you're here to stay, so…

I think should someone
should get phased out.

Either that, or we should
just get more crew.

Why stop with EJ? Let's get another one.

I need all the deck crew

up in the wheelhouse now.

Roger.

That anchor drop we did today
was f---ing embarrassing,

and I should put a f---ing bag
over my g*dd*mn head.

Nico, EJ, we're four charters in.

It can't happen.

Baker, I don't know what happens to you

when the pressure comes on,

but it seems like everything you learned

just, like, gets forgotten.

And Chris, you can't
just sit there and go,

"Oh, hell, sh--, that boat's gonna hit us"

and stand there and watch it happen.

The reason I called you up here--

I'm gonna have to make a change.

[narrator] coming up.

You don't have the balls
to tell me to my face.

You're quite bitter all the time.

-I have nothing to be--
-Listen to me right now.

Jen, Jen, you need to take it down.

I'm gonna have to make a change.

I guaranteed you we will not have a repeat

of what transpired today.

Nico and Chris, don't run away.

We're not done yet.

The rest of you, get out of here.

Ooh, principal's office.

Chris, in the middle
of a busy charter season,

I don't have the luxury
of being able to teach you

everything that you're gonna need to know

to make it work on this boat.

It's not your fault you got
thrust into this position,

but I still have a boat to run,

and that's just a cold, hard fact.

I'm gonna have to cut you loose.

Cool.

Come on, now. It's not cool.

You know, while I believe your
heart's in the right place,

I just need more than you're
capable of giving me right now.

I can't fire everybody and start over,

but it's time for Chris to go.

He's been screw up all season long.

all season long.

Chris, Chris, where are you?

Don't be shy, Chris.

-How do I--
-F---ing heavy.

How come I'm the only one
on this boat gets hangovers?

Work through it, man.

I am so tired.

As far as Chris,

he's just making my job more difficult.

I need to focus on
the members of the deck crew

that are actually putting forth an effort

and trying to do the right thing.

What I'm gonna do is,

you can go down and get your stuff ready.

I'll put you up in St. Barts for a night.

You got a pocket full of cash, so…

Good luck to you in the future, sir.

-I'll go get packed. Finish eating.
-Okay.

I'll get you transport to shore.

-Sweet.
-All right?

Thanks, Captain.

I cannot wait for the other deckhands

to mess up and for the holes
to really shine through

on how ill-equipped they are.

-I'm out of here.
-What?

Build a sh---y team,
you get sh---y results.

Cleveland Browns aren't going
to the Super Bowl, you know?

I was just dealt a sh---y hand,

and nobody seemed to do
anything to help me with it,

and that sucks.

-[moans]
-Heart-to-heart.

-Thanks.
-Roomie.

Chris, your tender has arrived.

I carry that for you.

That's f---ing-- you don't
carry your own bags.

Chris Brown and yachting. [laughs]

Cool, I just got fired. What do I do now?

I hope for you the best.

I'll be sitting on the beach,

getting drunk and picking up chicks

and probably getting laid a lot sooner

than if I finish out this charter season.

Who gives a sh--?

Bye, Chris.

Didn't even get to say bye
to the f---ing guy.

Nico, can we have a little

-chat up on the bow, man?
-Yeah.

I don't know how I feel about that.

-I know.
-So yeah, man.

Just wanted to chat with you

about how you think the whole thing went.

Lot of f---- ups on the last day.

So what about things between me and you?

Um…

The thing I'm just
finding slightly annoying

is, like, I'll tell somebody
to do something,

and then you'll be like,
"No, no, no, don't do that!"

It's like, "Ugh."

Because there's a way

that certain things need to be done

that you're still getting used to.

Undermining me
in front of them is not cool.

If I say something, it goes.

You know what?

I'm not gonna sit here
and go back and forth with you.

We're just gonna keep running
like we've ran before.

Nobody talks to me this way,

especially if they're under me.

Come on, man.

I feel really bad for Chris,

'cause, you know, he didn't lie
about his experience.

So for his lack of experience
to be the reason

he was forced to leave
is like, well, you knew--

He didn't say he was a f---ing--

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

I'm gonna miss Chris.

I enjoyed his company.

I mean, he never had his heart in this,

but I'm gonna miss him.

Did you say bye to Chris?

Yeah, I handed his bags to him and,

all that off the platform.

Sh---y.

Like Kate said though, I mean, we don't
know everything that goes on.

-On deck.
-Yeah.

I'm slowing down

How can I help you?

You can organize those two cabinets.

Is that your job.

Mm-hmm.

Like, your complete job that
you want me to do.

Oh. Sure, yeah.

What are you gonna do?

She wants me to pull everything out

and reorganize it.

No, I know, but what else--
what are you gonna do?

Finish the fridge.

Jen acts so put-upon, but, actually,

we do the same amount of work.

She just complains a lot more than I do.

-Ugh! Something reeks.
-we're flipping the boat.

So you can go

-do the bathroom.
-Okay.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

Go out to St. Barts

and get f---ing nasty,
is what I'm going to do.

♪ ♪

I'm going to try to find
some sort of alcohol

for the night.

-Ready to do this?
-Are you ready?

Oh, I was born ready.

She's got glasses. We got champagne, Kate.

Getting to see the world,

I mean, that's what I signed up for.

Like, that's all part of the experience.

F---it all. I'm getting off the boat.

I'm having fun in St. Barts,
and I'm super stoked.

Wow, Bri. You look great.

Thank you.

-One, two, three!
-Watch your head.

Yeah, mon.

[upbeat music]

Can we order some drinks?

Three espresso martinis.

-Glass of champagne, please.
-Sure.

Some water would be great. Thank you.

♪ ♪

Thank you.

Well, crew, cheers to
being here with you guys

for first night off on the town.

Salud, salud.

Nico? Cheers.

Yeah, mon.

So, EJ, I feel like
we don't know you that well.

-Tell us about yourself.
-I'm from Canada.

I've traveled the world on yachts.

I used to work with Captain Lee.

And I don't get any special treatment.

Trust me; Lee's given me his fair share

of f---ing yellings and everything else,

so I've gotten it all
from Mr. Lee, so don't worry.

Dude.

-You had the mahi?
-Yeah.

I'm not gonna eat all of this.

I'm really not.

Bon appétit.

Oh my god, creme bruleé
with bourbon!

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir

Messiers, sil vous plait.

Oh, I wish I knew what you just said.

It's very bad.

What does that mean?

It means, "Will you have me tonight?"

Monsieur.

Jen has one drink,

and then she starts getting loose.

Please.

I think Jen just needs to get laid.

Someone needs to help this poor girl out.

You know, it's crazy, man,

'cause most of the whole charter,

I barely heard a peep out of your mouth.

It is a tough balance

of socializing and work.

The last couple days
have really put in perspective

what's going on in my life,
and now I've realized

how much I messed up

and why I should be with
the person I left behind.

So how is the interior so far?

Has anything gotten, like,
hectic, or is it pretty chill?

Well, between you and me,
I think they're awful.

-[laughs]
-You guys, I'm joking.

The negativity, the ungratefulness,

the disrespect--

like, poke me in the eye with a pitchfork.

You girls need a bonding experience here

with some tequila sh*ts.

The old interior-interior
sh*ts of tequila.

Jen, Jen, Jen?

You have to catch her when she's looking.

I was the earliest up, me and him.

I didn't get a nap. I worked…

…actually, longer than all of you.

[laughs]

[muttering]

Bitter.

All the time.

Excuse me? What did you say?

I said all the time.

-What is all the time?
-Jen--

You're quite bitter all the time.

[narrator] Coming up…

What the f--- is wrong with you?

Why don't you get your shoes off my deck?

-It's my deck now, buddy boy.

Bitter.

All the time.

-Excuse me?
-Jen.

You're quite bitter all the time.

You're making me bitter now

by saying I'm bitter all the time.

Jen, you were already bitter.

How am I bitter all the time?

-Jen--
-No, I would like for you

to tell me how I'm bitter all the time.

Listen to me right now, Jen.

You guys are arguing
in the middle of a restaurant.

-No.
-She's the one that's--

Jen, Jen, you need to take it down.

Take it down a notch.

I am 33 years old.

Oh, my God,

if I have to sit here
one more f---ing minute…

If either of you talk about this again,

you're both cleaning the day head all day.

Ugh, I'm done with this sh--. Let's go.

I don't love my crew right now.

They're making a lot of money.

We're in St. Barts.

Like, why do you have to ruin it?

-Jen, listen to me.
-I'm done.

I though Bri and I were really good.

I'm at the point where I don't ever want

to talk to this person again.

I just was, like, over that dinner.

First of all, EJ was f---ing
annoying the sh--out of me--

[laughs]

[music pounding]

-Oh, this is it.
-This is good.

Yes, with the loungers.

She's coming now.

She walked straight in.

Buddy. Two Coronas!

This guy's gotta be something else.

♪ ♪

By the way, I'm not bitter when I drink.

I'm sure she'll chill out.

Hopefully.

[Bri] Alright, I'm a little buzzed.

-Wanna dance?
-Yeah, Why not.

-Hey!
-What's up, Baker?

Hi, honey. What you doing?

Bitter. I don't have fun.

Really?

Ugh. Like, uh.

I'm sorry, you don't say that sh-- to me.

When I've been your friend.
You don't come to me.

In front of everyone
and don't give me a reason.

Thanks for dancing with me. Finally.

It's only been like…
How many nights out?

What is it.

F---in E.J.
I'm sorry but he is a f---ing…

I'm trying to be open.

I haven't talked to him too much.

[Nico] You're f---ing trouble to me.

-You keep saying that
-Yeah, well it's true.

I find it funny
that Nico never talks to me

about his girlfriend.
He never brings her up.

I think a part of him
wants to stay available.

You're good, Nico.

I am being good.

I'm always good.

Oh.

Are we almost ready to go home?

♪ ♪

That's what I was waiting for all night.

♪ ♪

Because you're there when you drink.

Everyone's hopping on. We're gonna go.

-F---ing EJ.
-I got it.

I got it. Don't worry, guys.

That our new boatswain?

No more, man. No more nice guy.

Finish your drink
before you throw the bow line.

-Tie it nice and tight.
-I know.

-Oh, please be careful.
-Just be careful.

F---ing idiot.

The boat isn't even tied up,

and you just jump off with the lines.

Give us a little bit.

I'm not jumping off of this.

And then you crack your head
and fall in the water?

Come on, boatswain.

All right, we're good. We're good, buddy.

-Hope on. Here.
-I'm not jumping off.

You can't really tie off
on these cleats, guys, so…

It's called the spring line,
and he gave me the stern line.

-Same time.
-Take it off.

I feel absolutely disrespected

to the point where I just want

to kind of wring him by the neck.

What the f---is wrong with you, man?

Dude, I've just been saying, take it off.

If you can't control
your f---ing drinking habits,

then don't f---ing drink.

He's actually the one
that's drunk, not me.

I'm cool, calm, and collected.

Nico, calm yourself. Calm yourself, bro.

Let go and get away from the line.

Calm yourself, bro.

I'm just gonna go over there.

-What is your problem?
-You, man.

Why don't you just go to bed?

-I'm okay.
-Yeah, go.

No, you don't tell me what--

-I'm telling you right now, go to bed.
-No.

Oh my God.

They're gonna punch each
other in the face.

You don't tell me what I got to do.

Okay, buddy. Go to bed, man.

I'm fine.

Why don't you get your shoes off my deck?

It's my deck now, buddy boy.

-Not anymore, man.
-Oh, yeah.

You wanna play?

[narrator] Next time on Below Deck…

I have a very exciting…

Surprise reveal?

You're gonna be the Valor mascot.

[people cheering]

Being made the butt of a joke.

If tomorrow I'm not boatswain, I quit.

I don't need this sh--.

I want to be around my family.

Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy.

Leeann had her life turned into a movie

called The Blind Side.

-Can I get vanilla?
-I don't have any.

How can you not have vanilla ice cream?

You don't check to see
if you have the ingredients?

I hate chocolate ice cream.

What do you think that Brianna and Nico

are doing right now?

You have a great ass.

Bow chicka wow wow.

Uh, yeah.