01x06 - The Debate

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Girls on the Bus". Aired: March 14, 2024 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon

Chronicles 4 female journalists who follow every move of a parade of flawed presidential candidates, while finding friendship, love, and scandal along the way.
Post Reply

01x06 - The Debate

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Disappointment takes us by surprise ♪

♪ Even though by now, I think
we should have realized ♪

♪ Everyone is dumb ♪

♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

One of the things that
defines modern society

is our ability to debate
the issues that divide us.

- This country was founded on argument.
- ♪ Everyone is dumb ♪

An intelligent debate
consists of both sides

presenting fact-based ideas.

There is no name-calling,
no mudslinging,

and absolutely no physical contact.

But sometimes the rules are broken.

Sometimes as a nation, we
tend to choose v*olence.

♪ Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Everyone is dumb ♪

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

What about Craig Mandell?

He seems pretty sleazy.

Oh, he's definitely sleazy
and has deep pockets.

But Mandell's not connected to
any of Walker's ex-employees.

It doesn't fit the profile.

What about Blaine Novak?

Novak is cleaner than
Jimmy Carter's conscience

- alone with a collection plate.
- Yeah, I know, I know.

He's, like, the nicest billionaire ever.

But remember Missy Monroe,

the videographer who was
fired from Walker's campaign?

And she got a scholarship
from Novak's nonprofit,

the STEMBOSS foundation, and...

Walker's on the board of directors.

That coupled with the fact that
Novak contributed $20 million

to Walker's super PAC...

That fits the profile.

[PHONE DINGS]

[PHONE BUZZES]

I think Annie is making Postmates

and Uber Eats drivers race for tips.

Who keeps texting you?

- No one.
- Ah, Loafers.

Walker's win in South Carolina,

her debate strategy.

I need a quote. He knows I need a quote.

I can't go through him
officially anymore, so...

So... so, what, he texts
you and you just ignore him?

That is the current
mode of operation, yes.

You never should have...

Don't finish that sentence.

I know very well what
I should not have done.

Can we get back to Missy Monroe, please?

Set up an interview. See
if there's something there.

I need to get a number for her first.

DM her on one of her socials.

Do I have to do all the work here?

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Freezing rain, sleet, black ice.

And you're gonna need a
heavier jacket than that.

I thought it was your
job to keep me warm.

- [PHONE BUZZING]
- No.

Don't pick up.

- I know.
- I'm freezing.

I know, but it's probably my dad...

or my manager.

I'm so sick of this sh*t.

Hey, Ashley.

I thought you were dead.

And that made you angry?

You haven't posted in 17 hours.

If you're bored of this
trail thing, that's cool.

Let's do something un-boring.

Who says I'm over the trail?

Your lack of engagement,
lack of content creation.

Let me put you in a Hype House.

Ew, what? No.

Look, I admit, I've been a
little distracted recently.

But I've been networking,
you know, making new friends.

You can network on Clubhouse for free.

This sh*t is expensive, like,
five-grand-a-week expensive.

It costs 5K a week for my seat?

Lola, I don't ride your
ass just to see it jiggle.

I got Liqream alcoholic
whipped cream sh*ts.

I left a case of it for
you at the front desk.

If you want to keep
your seat on the bus,

you need to keep these sponsors.

Nobody rides for free, Lola.

♪ ♪

- Jesus.
- Hmm?

Nothing.

[LAUGHTER]

♪ ♪

So, Benji, how are you
going to use the debate

to capitalize on Walker's momentum

after her win in South Carolina?

By being the smartest
and most prepared person

on the stage, like she always is.

You saw her on the select committee.

She's a fighter, and she's gonna fight

for the American people tonight.

Thank you so much for that

completely unhelpful politicalese.

Now she's going over my head.

- Whoa, what? No.
- [LAUGHS]

You know, I thought we were cool.

Thought we were being professional.

Thought the past was the
past. We worked our sh*t out.

But clearly, you're feeling
some type of way 'cause...

[SIGHS]

Ever since you disappeared from
that fundraiser in New York,

you've been avoiding me
like a drunk Aziz Ansari

at the White House
Correspondents' Dinner.

I'm not feeling any way.

And then this, bothering Benji,

my new boss, for comment.

That right there,
that makes me look bad.

And I don't like to look bad.

So what is going on?

Dale saw us in Vegas.

And the news got all the
way up to the masthead.

So when I disappeared, I
was defending my integrity

and fighting for my journalistic life

while Phil in HR reviewed every word

I've ever written about
Walker, looking for conflicts.

And now, even though Bruce hates me,

I'm back, solely under the condition

that I do not use you as a source.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

- I had no idea.
- Yeah, well, now you do.

So we... we cannot
talk. We cannot chitchat.

And it would be great
if we didn't occupy

the same space, so...

♪ ♪

Is that enough?

Yeah, OK, you know what?

I'll give you as much
space as you need, OK?

Great.

I'm sorry, yeah.

♪ ♪

Come on, "Kimmy's Korner" is catchy.

It's more like cringey.

"In the Spin with Kimberlyn"
had a lot more class.

These people never fail to disappoint.

Look, we knock this out of the park,

the name won't matter.

Having our own setup in the spin room

- was a great pitch.
- Yeah, but it's a stand-up.

It's not even the desk
spot that I wanted.

So? Play to our advantage.

You're right. Maybe
I just play the game.

Lower the neckline a little bit.

Let the ladies do what the ladies do.

OK, your words, not mine.

We could have our own regular
segment by Super Tuesday.

Oh, from your lips to God's ears.

Hi, y'all, I know you missed a bitch.

But don't worry. I am back.

And I'm in Minnesota for
the big Democratic debate,

aka the Rumble on the Tundra,

where the Freshman's gonna destroy it.

We're talking climate change.
We're talking social justice.

We're talking canceling
student loan debt.

We're talking all the things.

But you know what
we're not talking about

is black ice.

It's, like, all I hear about
around here, and I'm over it.

f*ck black ice. I'm over it.

Let's just focus on
what's important, y'all.

So I'll see y'all soon.

My shadow better not
even be in that video.

- [PHONE DINGS]
- Charlie's back. sh*t.

What, did he use too many emojis?

I know how you feel
about too many emojis.

[SIGHS]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Have you not told him about Annie?

Every time I tried, he
launched into a story

about how he was
finally living his dream.

I didn't want to interrupt.

Does... does he know she dropped out?

It'll feel better if she
rips the Band-Aid off first.

I'll clean up after.

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

So much for separation
of church and state.

[SIGHS]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

[PHONE BUZZING]

♪ ♪

Yes?

What are you doing on this bus?

I work for Walker, remember?

Yes, there are a billion other ways

you could get to the
debate, don't you think?

What part of "we can't be around
each other" don't you understand?

Hey, I don't want to be here either,

but Benji's riding with Walker.

You know, I, too, have a job to do.

So we're stuck together.

[SCOFFS]

I don't know why I even
let you sit next to me.

- You are a hot mess.
- [ENGINE TURNING OVER]

♪ Well, I wanna leave this town ♪

No one ever said riding
the press bus was glamorous.

And these long hauls were grueling.

But at least we had a prize
waiting on the other end:

an actual, real live Democratic debate

and the catered buffet
that goes with it.

The night you've all been waiting for:

one stage, four candidates...

Felicity Walker, Biff de la Peña,

Althea Abdi, and Hayden Wells Garrett...

taking on the issues
that matter to America.

Watch it all go down tonight on WBC.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Hey, Grace.
- Hey.

So I have an extra evite

to a Stella McCartney sample sale,

and I thought you might be interested.

Thank you.

I haven't thought about
a flash sale in forever.

Yeah, I'll just send it to you.

I mean, as different as we are,

we weirdly have similar taste.

And I wanted to also honor the fact

that you have been doing
this for a million years...

Really?

I meant that with respect.

You've been places in this
game that I'm trying to get to.

And I wanted to ask your advice.

- Ah.
- OK, so...

this has been a really
good campaign for me so far.

I've had sit-downs with
all the major candidates.

The network is taking notice.

I have my own spot in
the spin room tonight.

And you want to know the best
way to leverage your momentum.

Yes.

Reporters are made by
trusting their instincts.

Let's start with that.

What does your gut say?

Well, I know that whatever I do next,

I want it to be at Liberty Direct News.

Hmm.

Is that what your
passion planner is saying

or your actual brain?

You can trust people, not corporations.

Liberty might not be perfect,
but they are a major platform.

True, but they need you
more than you need them.

[SIGHS]

I value loyalty, so I
think it's important...

Bullshit. As a journalist,

you only have to be loyal to the truth

and your sources.

f*ck everything else.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Ew.

Ugh, what the hell?

Hey, is Facebook or Meta

or whatever you old people use loading?

It's a little slow,
probably the bus' Wi-Fi.

Everybody's on it.

OK, I am the content creator
journalist on this bus,

so if you're not using
the Wi-Fi for work,

- please get offline.
- Absolutely not.

I'm playing "Wordle,"
and I'm in a rhythm.

Margaret, this isn't for pleasure.

This is my dumbass job.
I need it more than you.

Yeah, well, that sounds
like a you problem, Lola.

[SCOFFS]

Sorry.

That's hella lip gloss already, Kimmy.

What are you gonna do next, go blonde?

You know, I thought about it.

But I don't have that much time.

OK, on the real, don't
you ever get tired

of this heteronormative gender bullshit

that Liberty projects
onto all women, honestly?

Oh, let me guess.

You're the one who defines womanhood.

No, I think all people should
define it for themselves.

Y'all are so down bad for
a first female president,

but gender is just a social construct.

- Uh-oh.
- What does that even mean?

I know what it means. I
just think it's stupid.

Because you're out of touch.

- Abort. Abort.
- [LAUGHS]

- Hey.
- Yeah.

Do you think that gender's
a social construct?

Ha-ha, you know, if you
think I'm dumb enough

to answer that, you
haven't read my résumé.

- [LAUGHTER]
- I haven't.

Grace, you have to at least admit

that the binary concept
of gender is exclusionary

of q*eer, trans, and nonbinary folks

and it's only maintained by cishet men.

You just used so many
buzzwords in that sentence,

you should be a vibrator.

My vag*na is not a
construct. It is a real thing.

And the only reason you can
even say gender is a construct

is because generations of
women have fought very hard

for you to have that privilege.

Nobody's taking that away from you.

Really? Because it seems to me

like you're asking me
to erase my experience.

And to that, I say, f*ck you.

My gender was weaponized
and used against me.

I think we can respect the
contributions of the past

while evolving to...
to redefine womanhood

in a more inclusive way.

Yes, and gender isn't who you are.

It's how society taught you to behave.

It's performative.

Oh, that's why Planned
Parenthood and the ACLU

don't even use the word "woman" anymore

as they are taking away
women's reproductive rights.

That makes perfect sense.

Yeah, but trans men and nonbinary people

can reproduce too, and
a lot of cis women can't.

Oh, my God, can we please
turn down the volume

on this echo chamber?

This is why Democrats
can't get anything done,

because you're too busy virtue signaling

and eating your own.

- Wi-Fi's back.
- Thank God.

♪ ♪

- So I called Missy Monroe.
- Mm-hmm.

I told her I was a reporter
from "The Sentinel,"

that I wanted to talk

about STEMBOSS foundation
and Blaine Novak.

Excellent. What'd she say?

Nothing.

She blocked me on LinkedIn,
Twitter, and Snapchat.

Mm, she's thorough. That's great.

- Why are you on LinkedIn?
- For sourcing.

Wait, why is that...
why is that a good thing?

Well, it means she got scared,

and if she's scared, she's
got something to hide,

- and if she's hiding something...
- There's a story there.

Exactly. We will find
another way to reach her.

- [PHONE BUZZING]
- Oh. [EXHALES HEAVILY]

- Hi, honey.
- Grace, I just got off the phone with Annie.

How could you let this happen?

I... I hear you're mad,
and I know we need to talk,

- but I can't right now, so...
- I'm not mad.

I'm furious, Grace.

Our agreement was, you were
supposed to keep tabs...

Did you just hang up on him?

Sometimes it's best to punt
and live to fight another day.

You're lucky he loves you.

- No!
- Oh, my...

- Oh, oh, oh.
- Jesus.

Lola, we have had spotty service
for the last hour and a half.

It will come back on in a minute.

You need to relax.

I don't have a minute, Kimberlyn.

I'm being canceled right now.

The auto captions translated
me saying "f*ck Black ice"

into me saying "f*ck Black guys,"

and everyone thinks that's what I said,

and I have no way to
reply to these comments.

- This is not funny.
- [LAUGHTER]

I've gone viral.

The internet is calling me
the Persian Richard Spencer,

and I have no way to fix this.

f*ck!

This is the internet you created.

It was only a matter of time
before the mob turns on you.

Remember, this is only important

because you make it important.

You are not helping.

♪ ♪

[BUS RUMBLES]

Well, that didn't sound good.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GROANS]

[AIR HISSING]

- [COUGHING]
- Oh, God.

All right, do you need anything else?

- That should be it.
- Debate's in two hours.

You can fix this thing, right?

We're about to find out.

You seem pretty calm.

You control what you can control.

For everything else, there's meditation.

♪ ♪

OK.

♪ ♪

OK, not for attribution,

looks like we're gonna
be here for a bit.

And apparently, this part of the highway

doesn't get much traffic or reception,

so let's all just get comfortable.

Kimberlyn, yes. You
could've raised your hand.

What if the driver can't fix the bus?

Then we wait for a Good
Samaritan to come along

or a bear to eat us.

- I'm gonna walk.
- Hey, you know,

it's 20 miles into the next town, FYI.

And it's pretty cold out there.

I have a segment airing
live in the spin room.

I need to get there.

Yeah, we all need to be there.

And we are doing everything
we can to be there on time.

But hey, it doesn't start for a while,

so stay positive.

We should be fine.

♪ ♪

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

OK.

♪ ♪

We've got plenty of time.

We're gonna make it to the debate.

[MUFFLED] Everything's gonna be fine.

It's not gonna be a problem.

[LAUGHS]

- I feel bad for her.
- Me too.

You seem calmer, though.

Many gummies have been eaten.

Bring Kimberlyn one.

And remind her that none
of that actually matters.

Debates rarely impact the race.

Are you kidding?

This is a chance for the country
to hear directly from the Freshman.

They're finally gonna
pay attention to her

and then fall in love
with her, like I did.

[LAUGHTER]

- You guys are such dicks.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

But Grace is right.

Debates haven't changed voters' minds

since Bush Sr. checked his watch.

- My bush calls bullshit.
- Here.

When... when was the last
time that anyone you know

outside of the media and pundit class

watched an entire debate?

And... and even if they
did, what are the chances

they'd say, oh, you know what?

I was gonna vote for a centrist,

but, man, that socialist
made a hell of an argument.

- It doesn't happen.
- Then why are we even here?

'Cause... 'cause people love good TV.

No, policy matters.

Debates bring awareness

to issues that impact people's lives

and then keep those issues in the mix

to be on the DNC's
platform in the general.

Yeah, but the Freshman isn't just here

to keep issues in the conversation.

Says who? She doesn't even
think she has a chance.

Yeah, she's just laying the
groundwork for 2028 and 2032.

Maybe she'll get a book deal out of it.

Oh, f*ck you both.

Well, fine, if she's got no chance,

- then who's gonna win?
- [LAUGHTER]

Well, we all know who Sadie likes.

It's not a matter of who I like.

I...

I think Walker would
be a great president

if she could just get
out of her own way.

Who's your money on, Grace?

The one who's been on billboards

and in America's subconscious

since "Whatever Doesn't k*ll Me"

with Sigourney Weaver in 1996.

- I love that movie.
- You would vote for AguaBro?

I never vote in elections I cover.

What? You guys don't vote?

No political journalist
worth their salt does.

As an outsider, who you got?

My vote is already in the White House.

But if I had to choose
from one of yours, I mean,

hot and white, it's hard to b*at.

- Wow.
- The mayor?

He's angling for veep but will maybe

- land transit sec.
- Yeah.

Until America figures out how
to put p*rn on a hamburger,

there's nothing we love
more than a hot white guy.

Now, if you guys will excuse me,

I'm gonna go fix this f*cking Wi-Fi

before my calm wears off.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- A p*rn hamburger.
- Ugh.

- I would eat that right now.
- Yeah, you would.

Oh, yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

She's falling apart.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Janet, no more earrings
in the pot, all right?

Hey, Lola, you gonna get in

on the next round of strip poker?

Minimum buy-in is a scarf.

OK, ante up.

Yeah, as tempting as seeing you naked

and stripping down to my panties sounds,

I think I'm good.

[PHONES DINGING AND BUZZING]

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, oh, I'm a golden goddess.

[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES] Oh, no!

No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.

[SOBS] Why?

Wow, that was a really fun ride for me.

Thank you so much for that.

- [CHUCKLES SARCASTICALLY]
- [CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY]

Suzette Vincent.

She took over the videographer gig

when Missy Monroe got fired.

They worked together for two months.

- She must have her number.
- Mm.

I can get it from her.

You just have to distract Loafers.

Or I can get the number and
you can distract Loafers.

Need I remind you of Phil in HR?

No, but if you talk to him,
I get more time with her.

Loafers never gives me
more than two minutes,

and you need more than
that to get Missy's number.

Maybe if you were nicer to him,

he'd give you more than two minutes.

If I was nicer to him,
I'd be a different person.

Hmm.

♪ ♪

- God damn it.
- Aw.

Damn you.

♪ ♪

Hi.

Can I talk to you
outside for a few minutes?

I'll be right back.

Yeah.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

Hi.

Grace Gordon Greene.

I... I don't believe we've met.

W-we haven't, but I know who you are.

Don't worry. I won't bite.

My daughter's going to film school,

and I just wanted to
ask you a few questions.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- Brr.
- Yeah.

Assume this is off the record,

since we're banned from speaking.

Oh, you got jokes now.

Yeah, I didn't think you were joking.

- I wasn't.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I wasn't, but...

but also, I... I didn't mean

to sound like such a bitch this morning.

It just sucks, you know, 'cause...

'cause we were getting to
a good place, being mature,

being professional, being friends.

Being inappropriately flirty.

Yeah, yeah, that was fun too.

Yeah, was it?

[LAUGHS] I mean, I know it's
not exactly ideal, but...

Oh, come on, please.

Sadie, you know... [LAUGHS, SIGHS]

This is exactly what you wanted.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, it means you focus on your job

so you don't have to
deal with your emotions.

- OK.
- Hey, I get it, you know?

We're on trajectories we love...

Mm-hmm.

With a candidate we believe in.

And with us not "officially" talking,

you know, you don't
have to be the bad guy

- when you ghost me in November.
- There it is.

Yeah. You can blame Bruce.

- You can blame "The Sentinel."
- [CHUCKLES]

You can even blame me
for giving you that kiss.

But, you know, it's interesting.

Conveniently, you can't blame yourself.

I'm not gonna ghost you in November.

I'll at least wait until
after the inauguration.

- Ah, wow.
- [LAUGHS]

Yeah. [CHUCKLES]

You know, I'm not gonna
take that bet, 'cause...

same old Sadie you've always been.

Lovable and sweet?

I'd say emotionally
distant and deflecting.

You don't think I've
matured at all as a human

- in the last three years?
- Honestly, no.

- No.
- Wow.

Well, you're wrong.

The old me never would have told you

what just happened to
me in New York, never.

I would have...

I would've just kept avoiding you

and let you think what
you were gonna think.

OK, so why did you tell me?

Because...

Because...

You know, I was in love with you, Sadie,

whether you felt the same way or not.

And once you're in love
with someone, you know,

a little bit of that love,
it always stays in your heart,

even if the other person breaks it.

Being around you, it brought
all these feelings back.

And it had me thinking that,
man, in another universe,

another time, I'd skip that shuttle.

I'd send you those letters I wrote you.

I would do everything in my power

to make you fall in
love with me, for real.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

But we're not in that universe.

No, we're in this one,
where you make the rules,

and, you know, hey,
I just live with 'em.

- That's not fair.
- Yeah, well, it's the truth.

♪ ♪

[THUNDER RUMBLES]

I just don't think it's possible
to be objective in anything.

If you're saying I can't be objective,

you're saying I can't do
my job as a journalist.

Do you think you're objective?

I am the only one on this
bus anywhere near objective.

Sometimes the only way to the
actual truth is to be subjective.

Like, you couldn't cover Nixon

- without calling him a crook.
- Disagree.

A zealot cannot be a good
cultural anthropologist.

[SCOFFS]

We cede our right to
have opinions in this job.

It's sad but true.

That is such a heap of bullshit.

The only reason objectivity even exists

is because white guys used
to cover other white guys

and nobody had any
f*cking skin in the game.

You have to be invested if
you're gonna tell the story right.

We go places now that
old-school journalists

- would be afraid to go.
- Lola.

Lola, "The Sentinel" has
been sending reporters

to cover wars, famine,
genocide for decades.

Danny Pearl was beheaded in Pakistan.

Anthony Shadid d*ed in Syria.

Lynsey Addario was kidnapped in Libya.

Jamal Khashoggi was f*cking dismembered.

Journalists have been running
into places that sane people

are fleeing and putting
their lives at risk

long before you ever
picked up a ring light.

So don't sh*t on what
old-school reporters do.

A-f*cking-men.

OK, respect.

I am just saying I think it's insane

to think that you don't bring your race

or your gender identity into the work.

Yes, but you can't be blinded
by your own personal biases.

That's what editors are for,
to check your blind spots.

I don't need a corporate overlord

between me and my followers.

Well, an editor would've caught

your little black ice slip, just saying.

Yeah, love 'em or hate
'em, they keep you honest

and help stories fairly
reflect both sides.

f*ck both-sidesism.

There's no two sides to climate change.

There's no two sides to abortion.

There are two sides to everything.

- At least.
- You just don't want

to hear it because it's
easier to demonize the Right

than it is to prescribe why Democrats

can't seem to win an election.

The fringe of your party has
expanded the Overton window

to the point where we are
now debating whether or not

- senators eat babies.
- True.

You can't have an intellectual debate

with an unarmed
opponent, which is exactly

what Liberty Direct News is.

So you want to talk
about outlets now, Sadie?

Because "The Sentinel" is
all in for Felicity Walker.

"The Post" is in for the Action Star.

Your network is r*cist and sexist

and h*m* and xenophobic.

And Conservative, capital C,

which is a part of the population

you choose to ignore.

You might think my network
is bullshit, but I'm not.

Whereas, Grace, you have
made gotcha scoop journalism

your whole personal brand.

I break stories first.

Don't be mad. Be better at your job.

You cover politics like it's sports

and then forget that it has an impact

on actual people's lives.

Yeah, well, cable news is trash,

and it's dividing the country.

Yeah, but it's better
than legacy newspapers

devolving into chunky
listicles and newsletters,

just hoping to stay relevant.

Fake news churned out by
trolls and content farms

blasted on social, that
is the real problem.

Print is dead. Cable is for old people.

And I'm gonna find a f*cking
cell tower if it f*cking kills me.

Whoa. OK.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- We got to get out of here.
- Where's the alcohol?

Clock's ticking, man.

We got 20 minutes.

You seem pretty stressed.

Yeah, easy for you to say.

You know how to fix engines.

Oh, please.

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

God damn it.

♪ ♪

OK.

♪ ♪

Can she even...

Let her have her moment.

♪ ♪

You might want to take one for yourself.

[SIGHS]

You got to let me help you.

♪ ♪

♪ No hot water in the shower ♪

♪ No more coffee in my cup ♪

♪ Bad news don't bother me ♪

♪ I put the yeah in positivity ♪

[SOBS]

♪ Only gonna see what you want to see ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ I think it's gonna be a good day ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ ♪

Where'd you get that sandwich?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Got any more of those?

Mm-hmm.

Not for you.

Come on.

We're not friends,

Grace Gordon Greene.

You're like a supervillain.

And while you were turning up your nose

at turkey sandwiches for breakfast,

I stashed some in my purse

for myself for a rainy day.

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

♪ I think it's gonna be a good day ♪

[COUGHING]

♪ ♪

God damn it!

♪ ♪

♪ I think it's gonna be a good day ♪

[COUGHING] Hey, everybo...

[COUGHS] Oh, God. Think I
just swallowed battery acid.

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

Looks like we are gonna miss the debate.

I'll let you know if we
have any further updates.

Thank you in advance for your patience.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Hey, Gary.
- Mm.

We're gonna go live in five.

I just want you to set up your camera.

We'll go outside, and we'll
plug into the satellite system.

What are you talking about?
We're not set up to do a remote.

Yeah, but we have to try.
They're expecting us on air.

No, I already called them and told them

we're not gonna make it.

I... I called them
when the Wi-Fi came on.

- Did I tell you to call them?
- You didn't need to.

We're at least two hours away,
and the debate just started.

Even if we left now, we'd
never make it to the spin room.

You cannot make unilateral
decisions without me.

Unlike you, I can't just give up.

I have to fight till the end.

OK, well, this is the end.

We didn't make it. Show's over.

How f*cking dare you try
to sabotage my career?

No, how f*cking dare you

leave the network with dead air?

You're the one who should have called.

But instead, you were too
busy holding on to hope

because all you're doing, Kimberlyn,

was thinking about yourself.

Look, this is my career too, OK?

And I'm not gonna have my name ruined

just to protect what's in
your f*cking passion planner.

Oh, OK, so you are only in
the position that you are in

because of my passion
and my plan and my hustle.

- Oh, OK, so I don't...
- Let's go outside.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, I'm sick of going high.

If you want to get into
it, let's just get into it.

Oh, great. Let's go there.

Let's go there, Ms.
Passionate Conservative.

You say that you love the network,

but you hate Liberty just
as much as these snowflakes.

And this is proof.

You were willing to f*ck them
over without a second thought.

How do you know what I was going to do?

Because I know you, Kimberlyn.

I guess I should have planned ahead.

Yeah, guess you should have.

- Mm.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Back off.
- No...

You have no idea what it took for me

- to get into this position.
- And I don't care, OK?

You have issues with the network,

and you need to work them out.

But if you hate Liberty
because you're Black,

at least f*cking own it.

You don't get to say that to me.

You're right, nobody gets
to say anything to you

because you're the unicorn
that we all have to keep happy

so that we don't seem r*cist.

- Oh, sh*t.
- f*ck you!

[AMYL AND THE SNIFFERS' "HERTZ"]

No! No, that's mine!

You get a sandwich,

and you get a sandwich,

and you get a sandwich,

and you get a sandwich.

I am f*cking Oprah, bitch!

[LAUGHS]

You get a sandwich,

and you get a sandwich.

♪ ♪

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ ♪

♪ I want it all ♪

♪ Take me to the beach ♪

♪ Take me to the country ♪

♪ Climb in the back seat ♪

♪ Do you love me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I want you to love me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Do you love me ♪

[TYPEWRITER CLACKING]

There's no service out here either,

if that's what you're looking for.

I'm just looking for a little peace.

I think I hate my job.

[CHUCKLES]

Same.

Remember when I told you that
I stay at Liberty Direct News

because at least they're
honest about their racism?

Seared into my brain.

I don't think I can
live with that anymore.

I'm realizing how much
I complain about my job.

I hate the theater

and the conspiracy theories.

That place is just not me.

So go somewhere else.

Where?

If I go to a more liberal outlet,

then I'm an outlier because
of my race and my views.

If I can't fit in at Liberty,

then I can't fit in anywhere.

I feel that.

Can I ask you a question?

But you have to promise not to get mad.

I'm, like, way past mad.

Go for it.

Why are you even on the bus?

I mean, you get paid
through your sponsors, right?

So couldn't you technically
just drive yourself?

Mm.

I can't really be alone like that.

It's not really healthy for me.

You know, I... I need the chaos.

But it's all f*cked now anyways

because I haven't been
posting enough ads, so...

- Why?
- Because I hate that sh*t.

- [CHUCKLES]
- When I started on the trail,

I wanted to do all the things.

I wanted to speak truth to
power and hit all the issues

and get really great
sponsors and still be me.

But the longer I'm out
here, the more I think

that the fluffy parts
just don't matter as much.

And the part I really care about, like,

the part I really like
is the storytelling.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

You mean the journalism.

OK, yeah, sure, whatever.

Don't be so smug about
it. And you know what?

Don't go telling Sadie, OK?

I don't need her to be
all happy about this.

Your secret is safe with me.

♪ ♪

Speaking of secrets, I did tell
you I f*cked your brother, right?

It was implied.

Cool.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

Are we gonna die in the middle of...

where the f*ck are we again?

Minnesota.

Home of black ice.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, I got one of those
turkey sandwiches.

- We could split it.
- Mm.

You know, this is kind of what I thought

college would be like,
except with younger,

much cooler people.

I was just starting to like you.

[ENGINE TURNING OVER]

- What?
- Uh-huh.

- Oh, my God.
- Hallelujah!

Finally!

[ALL CHEERING]

♪ I do what I want ♪

♪ I do what I want ♪

♪ I do what I want, ooh ♪

♪ I do what I want ♪

♪ I do what I want ♪

♪ I do what I want, ooh ♪

- I have to go to the airport.
- What's going on?

Charlie left seven voice mails.

I've never heard him like this before.

Do you need my help? Can I do anything?

No, this is mine to try to fix.

Taxi.

- Just call Missy.
- You got the number.

Of course I got the
number. I get everything.

[CHUCKLES] Airport, please.

Yes, ma'am.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[PHONE BUZZES]

- Hey, Ashley.
- You had one job:

post non-r*cist content and promote.

Well, two jobs. But you did neither.

Yeah, I know, which has
sort of got me thinking.

I might need to pivot.

You ready for the Hype House?

No, Ashley, no more Hype Houses.

I was thinking of leaning into the
news side of things a little harder.

How do we monetize that?

I don't know. Isn't that your job?

No.

I'm not trying to reinvent
the internet here, Lola.

Even news outlets can't figure
out how to monetize the news.

So if this is what you
want to do, go right ahead.

But do it without me,
'cause I need earners.

Wait, are... are you dropping me?

You're f*cking me over, got it?

I'm late for goat yoga.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Good luck.

And try to be an ally to Black people.

#BLM.

f*ck.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪

And that was Nellie Carmichael

with a new segment we're
sure to see a lot of

of in the upcoming months.

Thanks, Nellie. You're the best.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Peace offering.

Can't resist a Manhattan in Minneapolis.

Look, I'm so sorry about...

Let's just not revisit that.

But just know you crossed a line.

And if you do it
again, you should expect

a stronger reaction from me.

Understood.

♪ ♪

"Nellie's Nook." Ugh.

Kind of shitty they stole your idea.

They had to put something
on the air, right?

Yeah, but I'm still sorry it wasn't you.

Yeah, me too.

♪ ♪

You were right.

I was being selfish.

And even if I didn't care about them,

I shouldn't have jumped down
your throat for doing your job.

Thanks.

And for the record, I am riding

your Stella McCartney coattails.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

You have great ideas.

And we will be on prime time in no time.

♪ ♪

Hey, so Missy almost hung up on me,

but I turned on the charm,

and she agreed to talk.

There's a story here, Grace.

I can feel it.

And I hope you're OK.

Benji. Walker had a great debate.

What moment do you think
resonated the most with voters?

Why is this girl still talking to me?

He's the one you're
supposed to deal with.

Right, my... my editor...

Y-you wanted to simplify things.

We're simplifying things.

I don't know what the
f*ck you're talking about.

You know, the restructure.

All right, look, it's fine
if you didn't read my memo.

Major dailies is you.

"WSJ," "USA Today," "The
Post," and "The Sentinel."

I take digital and local
print off your plate.

You deal with TV, the elites,

which means McCarthy is all yours.

So what's your question?

Oh, I... I...

I asked what moment resonated
most with voters tonight.

What moment? Well...

People say a lot of things
in the heat of a debate.

But what they do after
is what really matters.

And when they do something
that's meant to help

someone else, without thinking
about how they can benefit,

it resonates.

♪ ♪

Charlie?

Charlie?

Hey, what's going on?

She's gone.

What?

She decided to drive
around the country and...

find herself,

with a guy, no less.

Which guy?

Our daughter is living in a van

with her drug-dealing boyfriend.

Are you following the story yet?

Yeah, I think I got it.

Listen.

- Things could be worse, right?
- Uh-huh.

We can track her on her phone.

She's not gonna tattoo
her face or do something

drastic without letting you know first.

I don't think you're hearing me.

I had to yell at Annie today.

I haven't yelled at Annie in...

ever.

And this is all because of your f*ck-up.

Fine.

But you were gone.

Exactly, I wasn't here for two months,

and you still couldn't
keep it from going to sh*t.

You know what?

Playing the blame game, it's not...
it's not gonna help the situation.

[GRUNTS]

We... we both want our daughter safe.

We're on the same team here.

- Are we?
- Yes.

- I choose you every day.
- Well, I choose her.

Had you been around, you know,
we wouldn't need to choose.

We... we'd be an actual family.

You don't know how much work
it took to get her into school,

the tutors, the practices, the tears,

the college f*cking application.

I see you two have your story straight.

You have always coddled her.

Coddled... no, more like
built up her self-esteem,

instilled some confidence in her

when no one else was around to do it.

You ran away, Grace.

I did the work.

And then when I handed you the keys,

you couldn't keep your
end of the bargain.

You don't have enough trust
that she can figure this out.

Maybe you don't have
enough skin in the game

to worry that she won't.

And now she's doing the
one thing we never wanted

for our only daughter, following a man

and putting her dreams in the back seat.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

You need to leave, Grace.

♪ ♪

I can't be around you right now.

♪ ♪

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

♪ ♪

- What's up?
- Nice hat.

You have any tampons?

I asked Kimberlyn, but she's all out.

Yeah, give me a sec.

- Ta-da.
- Ah, lifesaver.

Guess we're all synced up.

- Girl tribe.
- Night.

God damn it.

f*ck!
Greg, move your head.

Bye.
Post Reply