01x02 - Lost & Found

[bunniefuu]

Farah, I need help, please.

Where are you?

I'm at the Ridgely Building
in Springsborough.

What are you doing there?

I'm sorry. I snuck out. I'm in trouble.

Please hurry.

Okay, I-I'm on my way.

Lydia, what kind of trouble are you in?

Farah, don't! It's a...

Lydia! Lydia!

Not good.

Not good at all.

Of course. Of course, of course,
of course, of course. Nice!

Okay. A mouse, I'm a mouse.
Stupid mouse.

I really think someone should
open up this door right now.

Someone should open up...

Open this door.

I need you to open this door right now.

Right...

now.

Not... to... day!

Farah. Help me, Farah. Help me.

Farah, help me.

Oh.

Patrick Spring.

Crazy to see it up close, right?

So much money, and then...

Where's the head?

We're keeping it separate.
You can see it if you'd like.

Didn't you say you were
from Missing Persons?

I thought this was a Major Crimes case.

Lydia Spring is a missing person.

That's our case.
Her father's death fits in.

Can you prove that?

Soon.

Where are the other two bodies?

- Other two bodies?
- From the crime scene.

The tattooed men,
one was bitten in half.

Oh, they're gone.

Two human corpses are gone?

Well, they're not here.
They haven't stopped existing.

Oh. Okay.

Where are they existing currently?

I think they were just transferred out

to an FBI lab this morning for testing.

Something to do with the w*apon.

Yeah. Yeah.
We were wondering about that.

Yeah, uh, some sort of chomping
device, a saw or something?

The bite wounds are a match to the teeth

of an adult specimen
of Sphyrna mokarran.

"Sfreena mokoron"?

What the hell is that?

The great hammerhead shark.

A hammerhead shark
k*lled Patrick Spring?

How is that possible?

Yes, it's interesting,
because hammerhead sharks

aren't usually aggressive
towards humans.

Yeah, and they aren't generally
found in hotel rooms.

Right? That, too!

It was good of you to contact me, Todd.

Excellent work as my assistant.

I'm not your assistant.

And yet, here you are, assisting.

I just...

What you said about
things being connected,

it just seemed like
the right thing to do.

And you're certain the person
you saw was Lydia Spring?

Yeah, I am. I'm sure.

Then perhaps you'll admit,
solely for my edification,

that there's another connection,
however evanescent,

between you, me, and the
Patrick Spring m*rder case?

I mean, surely, her disappearance

and his m*rder shortly thereafter...

I just found a dog.
I don't think it means anything.

Look, I have to go, okay?

Why are you in such a rush?
You're unemployed, technically.

I, um... found something I-in the hotel.

It's a...

What am I doing? Why am I doing this?

What is... Is that a lottery ticket?

Yeah, okay.

I found it, and... Is that blood on it?

No.

Maybe. I don't know.

- And is it a winner?
- Yes.

It's only for 10 grand.

I can pay for Amanda's medication.

I can fix my apartment, my car.

I can... try and start to fix things.

And you seriously think
that's just a coincidence?

I told you the universe
would congratulate you

for helping me solve
the Patrick Spring m*rder case.

Are you taking credit for me
finding a lottery ticket?

No, it's just a coincidence.

But you just said...

g*dd*mn it!

That's the man? The... guy?

That's him, yeah.

Well, he doesn't look so tough.

I've got a good feeling about this.

About what?

- Shouldn't we call the police?
- I mean...

Here, quick, give me the lottery ticket.

Hey! What the...

Hey!

Wait!

What happened?

The car turned off.

You're not gonna try and fix it?

The car turned off here.

This is where the car turned off.

I'm sure it will start up again
when it's meant to.

Cars are like that,

always turning off and on again,

breaking down and then
fixing themselves.

No, they aren't.

Buddy, get out.

How come nobody's come looking for you?

What?

I have your phone, remember?

Nobody's called.
It's been over a day now.

Someone will call.

Oh, yeah? Who?

My...

girlfriend.

Right, her. She seems real.

Who was that?

Who was that guy
with the tats and the shotgun

that I k*lled at the power station?

What were you doing there?

Why are you doing this to me?
Doing this to you?

Answer the question.

Who was the guy that I k*lled
at the power station?

Look, I'm... I'm just...

I'm just... I'm just...

I do... I do... I do power systems.

Okay? I'm... I'm an electrician,
technically.

Look, but people,
organizations, individuals,

they hire me to do stuff.

Illegal stuff.

Look, they hit me up online.

They wanted me to build
some power converter

to leech off a larger network.

Okay? I'd never seen anything like it.

All right, I was halfway
through programming that...

you showed up.

Thanks for tellin' me all that, Ken.

Way my life works, that's the most

anybody's said to me in over five years.

It's mostly just screaming and begging.

It's nice to listen
to somebody else talk.

Ain't nobody coming, chump.

At least nobody who
ain't supposed to die.

You psychopath!

You total assh*le! I can't
believe you did this to me!

I can't even believe
you did this to yourself!

Looks like our suspect's undergone

a profound change in attitude.

Gordon Rimmer. Interesting.

And look at all this stuff.

This guy really likes Lux DuJour.

You ever listen to any of his music?

- A bit loud for me.
- Where's the clicker?

Look, Lux DuJour sucks,
and I'm getting out of here now.

Can't open the garage door. Too loud.

Besides, we have to
investigate the house.

Wasn't there...

Didn't Lux DuJour disappear?

I vaguely recall it being
a big story at the time.

Maybe he's in there!

I am not investigating anything.

Then how will you get
your lottery ticket?

Are you insane?!

Shh.

Would you let me finish?
Go sit over there!

God.

What? Hello?

Hang on.

Hang on!

Well, we find them, too.

It's the two guys from the hotel.

They're obviously in on it.
The giraffe and the gorilla!

You'd be upset, too, if
a giraffe tried to k*ll you!

Get back!

Oh, no. She's right here with me now.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, where is he?

What?

I don't... I don't care...

where she is,
'cause that's not my problem.

Okay? And then what about...

What about Red, way out in
the middle of nowhere?

What about him?

There's probably one of them
still out there,

and if that's the case, then
that's not good for any of us.

Uh-huh. Yeah, well, no.

And! And we have to go to
the animal transfer unit.

There was a g*dd*mn sh**t.
There's bodies everywhere.

- We've got to clean it up!
- Did he say "bodies"?

Very simple thing.

That should have gone very super easy...

Oh, this is really bad, Todd.

I would never have done this alone.

But you were right. That's Lydia Spring.

This is a huge breakthrough.

But it's possible we're going to die.

Oh, God, I am so sorry.

Oh, damn, we're really living
on the edge here, man.

I don't care that Rainey is dead!

Rainey is not the Supreme Soul!

I am the Supreme Soul!
I am running things!

Yeah!

And I'll tell you another thing.

Someone... Someone is watching us.

I can feel it.

Oh, yeah, we're gonna
do something about it.

We're gonna take back control.

We're gonna take back control,

and we are gonna purify the situation.

- He has a g*n!
- What?

She broke the nose.

Yes. It is.

Hello, friend. We are Ed, Zed, and Fred.

These are not our real names.

What a relief.
Those names are so stupid!

This is one of our machines.

It's a very good machine.

Your dead friend over there
had a bone saw.

He told me he was
going to cut my face off.

Yes, Ned liked to do that.

Some people like to cut other people.

Where is Lydia Spring?!

Why are you doing this to Patrick?!

We are not doing anything
to the man Patrick Spring.

His energy...

out into the universe.

You...

You k*lled him?

He is dead.

That is a fact, yes.

And you were the person
hired to protect him.

Him being dead seems to me
an oversight on your part.

In fact, it's quite
the opposite condition

of the one you would like him to be in.

Where is the kitten?

How was Patrick Spring
in two places at once?

Who k*lled this man?

She's not saying anything, Ed.

Okay.

Zed, will you expose her to the light?

Yeah.

Okay, Ed.

Well, nothing left here.

Call the crime scene guys
to come clean it up.

Sure.

Oh, and thank you for, uh,
covering for me the other day.

Oh, it's no problem.

I know you're going through
some stuff, so...

Figuring it out step by step.

Divorce is hard, Weedle,
let me tell you.

It's like becoming a whole other person.

Right. Uh, how's it going with Sammy?

Ohh. It's complicated.
It's very complicated.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look who it is.

Estevez and Zimmerfield.

- Nathan.
- Agent Weedle.

Hello.

We were relieved you were still in town.

Worried you'd skipped
out onto the next case.

Well, the opiate ring
that Dorian Rothlighter

was running still exists,
with or without him,

so as long as your boy, Todd Brotzman,

remains a person of interest
in your case,

I'd say he's a person of
interest in ours, right?

How about the other guy?
What happened to him?

The other guy? Dirk Gently?

Word came from on high to let him go.

- Active state interest.
- What, like, CIA?

- Something like that.
- Exactly like that.

Wow. You guys really have your
hands full in Missing Persons.

Maybe Major Crimes
should take a cr*ck at it,

give you two guys a break.

We're here about the bodies.

Bodies? What bodies?

Men with tattoos,
heavy tattoos all over.

You didn't...

You didn't transfer the bodies
from the Patrick Spring case?

No. What would we want with them?

- We do not want bodies.
- No, we don't.

So you're saying there was no transfer?

The FBI didn't...

We got to go.

Bye.

Idiots.

Idiots.

Assholes.

All that matters is the girl.

Patrick Spring is dead,

but we can still save Lydia, yeah?

That's our job.

Hey, buddy!

Think I figured out your problem.

It's this carburetor.

I think I can fix it up, but, uh...

it's gonna take a bit of time.

Okay. Great, thank you.

You don't think
there's a chance that, uh,

you could, you know,
call a cab for me or...

- something like that?
- We're lucky we met.

Look at this. This road's empty.

Plenty of people die out here.

Ha! Right.

No. You wouldn't... or won't... die.

Nobody's gonna die ever.

Some people will die,
but that's just nature.

It's all just nature.

Isn't it great that we're out
here in nature together?

Thank you. Thank you.

- You guys on dr*gs?
- No!

A cab? Really?

Why didn't you just ask him
to fly you in a private jet?

You want some raisins?

No.

Yes.

I haven't eaten for over 24 hours.

When I was a kid, I was part of a...

I don't know what it was.

A few others like me, though.

Others like you? Assassins?

I dunno.

I never got to meet 'em.

I heard about them, though.

I think about them sometimes.

Lot more people talking to me back then.

So...

who is Dirk Gently?

He came to me in a dream I had.

The world will take me
where I need to go.

I'm... I'm like a leaf in
the stream of creation.

Until I find Dirk Gently,
whoever and whatever that is,

and then I'm a piranha...

in the stream of creation.

Speaking of,
I should really k*ll this guy.

No, no, no. Wait, wait...

Wait, wait.

- What?
- Sorry.

- We can't m*rder him.
- Why not?

He's helping us.

Okay. If you say so.

There must be
a way to get Lydia out of here,

and then we can...

Will you
shut up for a minute, please?

Oh. It's just you.

And you were already here.

I don't know why I
was startled, actually.

This is all my fault. Look...

I have to tell you, okay?

I'm sorry about what I did before,

with the lottery ticket.

I think it was, in sight
of hind, fairly messed up.

Yeah, no. It's going to be
a beautiful thing, you'll see.

Shh!

No, it's going to be beautiful.
All right?

This is a speed bump.
Oh, it's a big speed bump?

Yeah, thanks, Tips, I know that,
but you know what else?

Technically, we're winning!

Uh-huh!

Well, we k*ll them, of course.
It's what we do.

Both, yes, both.

Why one? That doesn't make sense.

Shh!

Go away!

Rapunzel, what the hell
are you doing in there?

What the hell was that?

You didn't silence your phone?!

You!

Me. It is. Wait, do I know you?

sh*t!

- Whoa!
- Aah!

Rapunzel, what the...

Aah! Aah!

Clear!

Hey, it's Todd. Leave a message.

Hey, Todd, it's me. Um...

I know that this might sound crazy,

but, uh...

your friend, or your boss,

or your acquaintance,
or the detective guy...

he didn't mention having any guys, like,

following you, or anything
like that, did he?

'Cause, uh, there's this, um...

You know what, never mind.

What?! What? What do you want?

_

Okay.

All right, Creepy, we want
answers, and we want them n...

Yes? Can I help you?

- That's not him.
- Where's the other guy?

"Other guy"?

The other guy! The other guy!
Where's the other guy?

I'm sorry, I'm the only
coroner on duty today.

What department did you say you're from?

Missing Persons. We had
an appointment this morning.

- This morning?
- Yeah.

- What time?
- 9:00 AM.

- He wasn't here yet.
- That's what he's about to say.

I wasn't here yet.

Someone is screwing with us.

Dirk Gently. Todd Brotzman.

Smoke and mirrors, man. I mean...

something is for real
actually going down.

We are on our way now.

So, when the cops said,
"Anything suspicious..."

Right.

Now, we follow up on this,

that doesn't make us their bitch, right?

I don't think so.

'Cause that... that seems suspicious.

We could just call them.

And say what?

Yeah, we're not their bitch.

Right?

Let's roll.

Ah! Oh! Oh.

Got the dog.

What? Why?

The dog is important.

Lots of animals in this case, it seems.

The dog, the shark, the kitten.

What... What kitten?
Wait, no. Screw that.

Never mind. How did you even
hear about the shark?

Mm? What are you talking about?

Hours ago, in the bushes,

before we were trapped
in that guy's house,

you said Patrick Spring
was k*lled by a shark.

You've got a great memory.

How do you even know about
the shark? The hotel room?

- I didn't know about that.
- No, never mind.

Never mind.

I-I-I did my duty.
I-I helped you steal a dog?

Ish. You did your duty-ish.

You didn't even do a full half
of a duty, you lazy man, Todd!

You tricked me into breaking
into a house with you.

- Could've waited outside.
- Someone sh*t at us!

Hey, he only sh*t at me.

And the house was even more mysterious,

and we learned about that
rock star, Lux DuJour.

When did we learn about that?

And this man, Gordon Rimmer,
it's all very suspicious.

He called the human Lydia "Rapunzel,"

ergo, vis a vis, I forward a theory.

Are you Lydia Spring?

You are?

I want to go home, but I know

you'll just be there now,
so it's like...

What we're dealing with here
appears to be a criminal,

or perhaps a group, that
specializes in hypnotizing

humans into believing
they're specific dogs,

and hypnotizing dogs

into believing they're specific humans.

I just want to go cash in
my lottery ticket,

- call my sister back, and...
- Todd, focus.

What could Patrick Spring
have done to anger

an evil enclave of uncommonly
specific dog hypnotists?

They're not dog hypnotists!

Ah! You're about to forward a theory!

Excellent. I'm listening.

She clearly wanted to be there.

She... She wasn't hypnotized,
she wasn't tied up,

there weren't bars on
the windows, and she seemed...

happy.

Yes, like a happy dog.

Just call the police.

At this point, I can't
explain why I was there,

and I'm already in deep crap with them,

so just... just call them.

Do it. Okay? I-I'm done,
so y-you handle it now.

You're still wearing the shower curtain!

Hey, you think I like this?

Isn't this your job?
You're a detective. Don't you...

Because I'm trying
to do the right thing,

don't you understand?

It's always...

all these horrible things,

and I get dragged right up next to them.

Couldn't you just... I mean,
you could just walk away,

take whatever Spring paid you and...

No. It's...

The world will lead me
where I need to go.

I'm a...

a leaf in the stream of creation,

right up until I find whoever

or whatever k*lled Patrick Spring.

And then it will just...

take me somewhere new.

Then what's with all your crap

about taking control of your life?

Look, just because you know
you're playing a game

doesn't mean you
don't choose your moves.

The cases I end up on,

if I don't solve them, no one does.

Just...

Oh, dear.

"We have your friend,"
and then a picture of a woman.

Who's it from?

The man, I assume, the bad man.

- How did he get your number?
- I gave him my cards.

You gave him your card?

No, my cards, all of them.

Self-defense. I do a lot of things,

and then later, I'm like, "Ugh."

You don't happen to know
this woman, do you?

Open this door.

"Give us the dog or we will k*ll her.

Eastgate Bridge. Midnight." Ha!

See? I told you the dog was important!

This is bad. This isn't going to work.

This is a bad idea.

Nonsense. This is the perfect
opportunity to get some answers.

The man sh*t at us.
What if he just pulls a g*n?

Aha. That's why I brought...

this.

What's that supposed to do?

Well, you know what they say

about bringing a Kn*fe to a gunfight.

That it's bad?

Oh, bloody hell,
is that what that means?

That's him, the man.

What do we do?

Well, I think...

Aw...

Check this out.

All right. What have we got?

Holy sh*t. That's the guy.

That's... That's Todd Brotzman.

And Dirk Gently. Full house.

Missing Persons was actually
onto something.

We bring them in as soon as
whatever this is is done.

Got it.

Is that the woman?

I don't know her.

Right, but that is a woman.

What are you even talking about?

Get on your knees.

Give me the dog, or I'll k*ll her.

Give us the her, or we'll throw
the dog off the bridge!

- What?
- I'm bluffing,

but if he sh**t her,
throw the dog off the bridge.

Why did you att*ck us?

We didn't! How do you know who we are?

We don't. Where's the kitten?

- What kitten?
- Who's that woman?

- You don't know her?
- Do you?

Why did you burn my house down?

I burnt your house down?

Where's Lydia?

She's not here.

Bring me the dog.

- Why do you want it?
- Why did you take it?

- We don't know!
- Why did you k*ll Patrick Spring?

- We didn't!
- Did you?

Just... Just... Just bring me the dog!

What the hell are they talking about?

Dogs? Cats? I don't know.

These are the stupidest
g*dd*mn people alive.

- What do we do?
- I-I...

I don't know.

I'll k*ll her!

I swear!

Todd. Todd, wait! Maybe...

Let the woman go.

No, no, no, no, no. She stays with us.

- That wasn't the deal.
- There's no deal.

sh*t! He's right!

Bring me the dog!

I...

Whoa. What are you doing?
What are you doing?

- What... No!
- Let the woman go or I drop it.

Just let her go now!

You are poking the bear, my friend!

We will burn the soul out of your body

for what you've done to us.

What are you even talking about?
What did we do to you?

Don't drop my dog!

Let her go now or I drop it,
I swear to God.

- Let her go!
- No, no, no, no, no.

No!

Help me.

No!

Holy sh*t! It's going down.

I'm coming!

Aah!

Todd! Man!

No!

Nathan!

Put that down!

Todd, what happened?

I saw a human face on the dog!

Rapunzel!

Aah!

Did you find the dog?

No! And what the hell happened?

Who sh*t Fred?

There were two men
hiding under the bridge.

One we released from his body,
the other still lives.

They... They threw the g*dd*mn
dog off the bridge.

Did you... Did you see it
come out of the water?

No. Very busy.

It's in control.
Everything's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.

Wait a second. There's two guys.

You said you got two guys.
Who are those two guys?

I don't know. They had these.

What the hell is this? What the...

FBI?

You got to be

g*dd*mn kidding me.

And this one's still alive?

He is.

Ha.

How would you like to be a secret agent?

All right. All right.

All right. Let's go.

That'll do it.

Sorry it took longer than I thought.

You should go.

What?

Run!

You realize I'm gonna take the car.

Take the car? What? What? Why?

You must be...

Hell, you must be the 10th
couple we've found out here.

We sh**t you in the head,

cut you up, sell the car for pieces.

Cut that up, too.

Wh-What? Wait, w-wait.
D-D... Listen, listen, listen.

I'm listening.

Look, man, you're the one
that's in danger, okay?

Okay. Ju...

Can I k*ll him now?

Embarrassing yourself.

Yes.

Okay?

There goes that.

What's this?

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

Did you just dodge a b*llet?

No. b*llet dodged me.

I can't be hurt,
universe won't allow it.

Only constants are me and gravity.

I'm special that way.

You're insane.

See?

Holy...

What do ya know?

You said you k*ll whoever you meet.

That's right.

I'm still here.

You haven't k*lled me yet.

That's true.

I guess that must
mean you're special, too.

Would you get in the car?

They'll see you now, sir.

Thank you for coming, Colonel.

Where's General Kinsey?

You don't report to him anymore.
You report to me.

I'm Wilson.

This oversight committee

has been reviewing Project "Black Wing."

Then you know that I've been operating

under an extremely limited budget.

Given Black Wing's significance...

Significance?

While you did discover
some interesting phenomena,

your research was inconclusive
and without definable results.

Mistakes were made.
And worse is that you failed

to keep the subjects contained

and recover them from
the initial breach.

Now we have potentially
dangerous individuals at large.

Over 30 of them.

And currently, we only have
budget to surveil one.

"Icarus."

The one currently going by
the name "Dirk Gently."

The fact is, ma'am,
there's a reason that

we haven't tried to bring in
suspects after 15 years.

They cannot be contained.

I believe that we have an
undetermined thr*at out there,

and I don't like it.

Not one bit.

You claim that you have unique insight

into these subjects?

Well, I am giving you
one last chance, Colonel.

Bring them back in yourself,

because right now, they are merely

another loose end
that needs to be snipped.

We have many threats to deal with.

Too many. Do you understand?

- Surely you're not proposing...
- And if you fail again,

the former Black Wing subjects
will be eliminated,

starting with Dirk Gently.

I think you're overestimating
your ability...

All of them.

Eliminated.

God, how is your place
so much nicer than mine?

Pounds to the dollar, I think.

Exchange rate. Maths.

Hey, hi.

What... What happened?

Uh, w-we got you away from those...

uh, the other guys,

so just... lay here,

and I'll get you a glass of water?

Thank you for helping me through that.

I don't know what I would've
done if you hadn't been there.

Yeah, well, I was there.

You're really brave, sort of.

Like crazy brave.

Or maybe just stupid, but wow.

And also surprisingly incapable.

How have you survived this long?

Well, that's why I needed you.

Ha! God, how crazy was that?

Those guys are total nut jobs.

You think they're the ones
who k*lled Patrick Spring?

I'm not sure yet.

Well, it's got to be connected, right?

I mean, maybe they're part
of the same group.

The guys at the hotel, the corpses,

the ones who weren't Spring,

they had the same tattoos
we saw tonight.

It is connected.

Dirk... I-I saw something.

Crazier than the dog, something else.

I don't know how to describe it, but...

Wh-Whose cat is that?

Oh, it's the one from the crime scene.

The one everyone's been looking for.

What? Um, hold on...

- Dirk?
- Hi, Farah.

You know her?!

- Well, I, um...
- So when they said

that they have your friend,
they meant your friend?

- More of an acquaintance, really.
- Mother...