04x05 - American Health Care Act

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- Welcome welcome, welcome
to "Last Week Tonight."

I'm John Oliver.

Thank you so much
for joining us.

Just time for a quick recap
of the week.

And on Wednesday, it was
International Women's Day.

Or as I call it,
Int-her-national Women's Day.

#Feminism.
#HashtagFeminism.

And--and every year,
the best way of gauging

not just how far
women have come,

but perhaps how far
they still have to go,

is by watching powerful men
around the world

trip over their dicks
talking about the day.

And let's start
with Vladimir Putin.

- "Women give us life and
perpetuate it in our children.

"We will do our utmost
to surround our dear women

"with care and attention

so that they can smile
more often."

- Perfect.

If there are two things
that women love,

it's being told to smile more
and being surrounded.

"Come on, baby, you're such
pretty gender when you smile.

Give Vladimir a little twirl."

But incredibly, Putin is
actually a model of sensitivity

next to the speech
given by Brazilian president

Michel Temer.

- "Today women participate
strongly in the economy too.

Nobody is more capable
of pointing out changes

in supermarket prices
better than women."

- Okay.
Okay.

He just reduced
the economic contribution

of half of Brazil's population
to "Women be shoppin', y'all."

This year, though,
I would argue

there was no more
spectacular celebration

of International Women's Day
than in San Antonio, Texas,

where one local
morning show host

really gave it his all.

- Today is
International Women's Day.

So hey, ladies, don't worry.
It's your day.

You can do whatever you want.

And speaking of doing it,
whatever you want,

it's workout Wednesday.

It's time
to get that bikini body

just in time for summer.

- That's right, ladies.
You can do whatever you want.

Crunches, curls,
maybe some light cardio.

The point is, keep it tight.

It's your day.
But keep it tight.

And believe me,
he was just getting started.

- All right,
so it's just me today.

Kimberly's in traffic,
but it's okay.

It's International Women's Day,
so she can do that today.

This year, International
Women's Day will come together

with "a day without,"
women being on strike.

So that's a good thing,
because, you know,

when it comes down to it,
that's where we all come from.

- What?

That is a pretty limited
understanding

of human reproduction.

I bet if you asked him to label
a chart of the female anatomy,

he'd probably just write "noice"
across the top of it

and call it a day.

He went on and on and on.

He attempted to ad-lib his way
through a whole story

on International Women's Day
in a manner so incompetent,

it really made you feel that
the stuck-in-traffic Kimberly

probably does most of
the heavy lifting on that show.

And, you know what,
in that sense,

I'm not sure that anyone
this week managed to show better

what a day without women
is all about.

Because Kimberly?

I don't know who you are
or what you do,

but I sure as shit know what
happens when you're not there.

And first thing tomorrow,
you need to go into the office

and ask for a f*cking raise.

So for now--
for now, let's move on--

let's move on to the CIA,
my employer--shit!

I wasn't supposed to say that!

Oh, f*ck.
They're gonna be so mad with me.

The CIA had a difficult week.

- Tonight,
WikiLeaks has a bombshell,

publishing these documents,

what could be
the biggest exposure

of U.S. intelligence
gathering methods

since Edward Snowden's leak.

- Well, well, well.

The spy agency
has become the spied upon.

And you have to admit

there is a certain satisfaction
in seeing that.

It's akin to going and sh1tting
on the neighborhood dog's lawn.

How do you f*cking like it?
How do you like it now?

And the documents initially
sounded pretty alarming.

- According to WikiLeaks,

the CIA explored
the possibility

of hacking into
the software of modern cars.

- It can be accessed
from outside

and perhaps taken control of,

and this can let you
do a whole lot of things,

from playing the music

to taking control of the car
entirely and crashing it

if you want
to assassinate somebody.

- Well, that escalated quickly.

"First I'll make them listen
to Coldplay,

and then...it's m*rder."

But listen again to how that
report characterized this news.

- According to WikiLeaks,

the CIA explored
the possibility

of hacking into
the software of modern cars.

- That's right.

"They explored
the possibility of it."

And that is important,
because we already knew

that cars could
technically be hacked.

So it's not surprising,
really, to hear

that the CIA might be
interested in doing that too.

But "exploring the possibility
of doing something"

isn't really the same
as doing it.

A partial list of things
that I've thought about doing

but have not done includes:

karate, chess, guitar,
becoming a wine guy,

CrossFit, going vegan,
learning Spanish,

alpaca farming,
volunteer fire fighting,

and being a guy with a wood shop
who spends a year

making, like,
the perfect birdhouse.

But--but the thing is,

this story ate up
a lot of media time this week.

But the allegations were
slightly less alarming

than early coverage suggested.

Take another one
of the big claims.

- A program called
Weeping Angel,

which can remotely turn
a Samsung TV

anywhere in the world
into a secret listening device.

- One CIA hacking operation
called Weeping Angel...

- Weeping Angel.

- If you've got a Samsung TV,
it's--

you think you're watching TV?

Oh, honey.
That thing is watching you.

- Okay, first.

She should deliver
all of the news.

"19 dead
in a blazing apartment fire,

all of them children,
girlfriend."

But second:
"Weeping Angel" sounds less like

a spy program and more like
a tactic your mom uses

to keep you from masturbating.

"Look at the weeping angel,
David.

You did that!
You made her cry!"

But still, you can't argue that
the notion that the CIA

can listen to anyone
in the world

through their Samsung TV
is scary.

But again,
if you read the documents,

you'll find this program
applies

to Samsung TVs
from 2012 and 2013,

and the malware
was installed via USB.

So presumably the CIA needed
to physically

stick that into your TV.

And even if that happened,
experts advise

there's still actually a
potential way to circumvent it.

It's a little complicated,
so I'll walk you through it.

Step one: unplug the TV.

And that is it.
End of steps.

You're off the grid.

But--but what is most important
to keep in mind here

regarding these revelations is,

the CIA,
with some narrow exceptions,

is barred
from spying domestically.

And unlike the Snowden leaks,

there is nothing
in these documents so far

showing illegal surveillance
of Americans.

Which is not to say there wasn't
interesting stuff in there.

For instance, Weeping Angel
was just the beginning

of the CIA's stupid code names.

- A range of CIA programs
with code names

like AfterMidnight
and BrutalKangaroo,

all now in the hands of
t*rrorists and foreign targets.

- It's not just AfterMidnight
and BrutalKangaroo, though.

Other programs were called
CrunchyLimeSkies, ElderPiggy,

AngerQuake, and McNugget.

Which are also, interestingly,

the names of a cappella groups
at Dartmouth.

You--you should really hear
CrunchyLimeSkies'

rendition of "Roar."

It is fierce.

And look, I'm not saying that
these leaks are not a big deal.

The mere fact that WikiLeaks
obtained these documents at all

is significant.

And more are apparently coming,

so this story
is still developing.

There's really only one thing
we can say for absolute sure

at this point, and that is
that the big loser so far

is Samsung.

They have had
a rough couple of months.

You probably remember
what happened with their phones.

- Burning and melting.

Samsung issuing
an unprecedented recall

of millions of new
Galaxy Note7 smartphones.

- Just wanted to post this
and share

what just happened
to my Note7.

Everyone rocking
the new Note7,

it might catch fire, y'all.

- Yeah.
That's not ideal.

That is the worst thing
that can happen with a phone

other than someone leaving
a voicemail

instead of just texting you
like a normal person.

And--and it is not just
Samsung's phones.

- Washing machines exploding.

- I'm totally scared.

- Lids flying off.

Samsung launching
a massive nationwide recall

back in November.

- I'm afraid to do laundry
because it could hurt my kids.

- Holy shit.

"I'm afraid to do laundry"
is not a great review

of a washing machine.

However it is a fantastic review
of "Jaws 5: Laundry Shark."

The fact is, Samsung is having
a spectacularly bad run of PR,

and to cover themselves
in the future,

they should probably
just come clean

about all their other
products' flaws.

- Hi, we're Samsung.

And we understand
you might be a little nervous

around our products
at the moment.

And we want you to know,
we get it.

We totally get it.

And our promise to you
is no more surprises.

So cards on the table,
here is the truth.

Our phones secretly
call your mom on speakerphone

whenever you're having sex.

Our laptop computers scream in
pain any time you touch them.

Our robot vacuums will
f*ck your cat,

and your cat is gonna like it.

Oh, and here's a fun fact.

Our smart TVs firmly believe
that Bill Cosby is innocent.

No shit.

Our fitness watch is
actually fine,

but it does make you look
like a total douche.

And finally, we're just gonna
level with you here.

Our dryers make things wetter.

[laughs]
I mean, we know.

But the one promise
we can absolutely make you

is that none of our products
will explode anymore.

Shit.

Okay, maybe the phones,
I guess.

But definitely not the--
oh, shit.

No, no.
Put the vacuum up.

Put the va--
oh, my God!

Oh, my God.
It's on fire.

The vacuum is on fire.
How is it still moving?

f*ck! f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck,
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

Is the watch okay?
Tell me the watch is okay.

You f*cking tell me
that watch is okay!

No!
Oh, God.

f*ck me.

The point is, our dryers,
they are fine.

Oh, f*ck you.

Ahh!

Samsung.

Hey, at least our logo works,
right?

Oh, come on!

- Moving on.

Tonight, for our main story,

we're going to
look at Obamacare.

Basically the opposite
of this photo,

which is more
"Obama-don't-give-a-f*ck."

Two weeks ago,
we devoted around 20 minutes

to Republicans' efforts
to repeal and replace that bill.

And the reason we have to
talk about it again tonight

is this:

- Breaking news overnight.

Republicans reveal
their long-awaited

replacement for Obamacare.

- House Republicans roll out
a revamped health care plan.

- It is finally here.

Oh, yes, the Republican plan
to replace Obamacare is public.

- This is the American
Health Care Act.

- Yes, it's finally here.

The American Health Care Act.

You may not have wanted it.

It looks awful.
But it's here anyway.

Try to think of it
as the legislative equivalent

of "Pirates of the Caribbean 5:

The Curse of Johnny Depp Getting
Divorced and Needing the Money."

And as will be the case
with that movie,

the early reviews of this thing
have been rough.

- This thing is probably
dead on arrival.

- Conservatives hate their bill,
I promise you.

Obamacare lite, dead on arrival.

- It seems dead on arrival.

- It's dead on arrival.

- They're calling it
a stinking pile of garbage.

- Well, that was one--

- They're calling it
dead on arrival.

- Yes, much like the life
behind Melania Trump's eyes,

the AHCA looked dead by the time
it was introduced in Washington.

And there is no doubt,
the bill got enemies quickly.

the American
Medical Association,

the American
Hospital Association,

the American Nurses Association,
and the AARP

all immediately
came out against it.

And even people you'd presume
would be happy about the repeal

were not exactly thrilled.

- Let me show you

what was the front page
of "Breitbart" this morning.

"FreedomWorks Opposes Speaker
Ryan's Obamacare 2.0 Plan."

And I don't think, Selena,
they meant that in a nice way.

- Yeah, I don't think
they do either.

I pretty sure they meant it
in the sense of,

"Ryan is a beta male snowflake
who needs a safe space

for his cuckservative bill"
kind of way.

Essentially, it seems people
on both sides see the AHCA

as just being shitty Obamacare,

the way Old Navy is
a shitty version of The Gap,

and the way Easter,
let's be honest,

should really just be called
Shitty Christmas.

Only one month till
Shitty Christmas, everyone!

What are you asking for?

It had better be
a basket full of beans,

'cause that's
what you're getting!

But--but here is the thing.

This bill is not
actually dead on arrival.

There is still a chance
it could become law.

So given that,
we need to take a look

at what is actually inside
this thing.

And let's start
with one of the big changes.

As we anticipated,

it gets rid of Obamacare's
insurance tax credits,

which are based on many factors,
including income,

and they've replaced that with
a flat tax credit based on age.

Here is how it works.

- The proposal provides
tax credits

to help pay for premiums.

Someone under the age of 30
would get $2,000.

Someone 60 and older
would get $4,000.

- Okay, so the older you get,
the more money you get.

That's easy to understand.

Think of it
as the exact opposite

of being a woman in Hollywood.

Now--now,
as we discussed two weeks ago,

the key question here is,
do the size of those credits

sufficiently cover the actual
cost of health insurance,

or are you left, like
a middle-aged man in a thong,

horrifically under-covered?

And to help answer
that question--

I'm sorry.
Can we just take that down?

Thank you.
That's much better.

To help answer that question,

the Kaiser Family Foundation
made a tool

showing how you might be
impacted by this new bill,

based on your age,
income, and location.

It's like
a choose-your-own adventure game

for a very specific
type of child.

If your kid likes "Caillou,"

he will love this interactive
map of tax credits

from the Kaiser
Family Foundation.

So let's say you live
in Woodward County, Oklahoma,

you're 60 years old, and
you earn, say, $50,000 a year.

Under Obamacare, you'd get
$13,350 towards insurance.

But under the new bill,

that will drop down
to just $4,000.

That is over 2/3 less.

And it's not one of those


that you barely notice,

like when Robin and Barry
of the Bee Gees died.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Barry is fine.
Robin and Maurice are dead.

Or are they?
Or are they?

The point is: they are.

Although, to be fair,

I have no idea.
You don't either.

And I don't see either one of us
Googling it anytime soon.

But that is really
just one example.

There are a lot of people
who would be harmed

by the switch
to these flat tax credits,

and experts say one thing
is pretty clear here.

Those who are lower-income
would be particularly hurt.

And that is before
we even get into Medicaid,

the program that largely
provides healthcare

to poor and disabled Americans,

because that is where
this bill gets really vicious.

And you know the changes
to Medicaid are rough

just from how
creepily enthusiastic

Paul Ryan sounds talking
about them.

- He is rock hard
talking about that.

Somehow, you can actually hear
his erection during that.

And if you don't know
what he's talking about,

that just sounds
like a benign pile of words.

But when he says
"defederalizing,"

"block granting," and "capping,"

what that means
in layman's terms

is cutting the living shit
out of Medicaid.

According to one analysis,

the plan would cut
at least $370 billion

in federal funding for Medicaid
over the next ten years.

Now what that means
is that states would have to

make up that gap to maintain
current levels of coverage.

Which, for many of them,
will be next to impossible.

So when they don't,

millions of the poorest
Americans will lose coverage.

Millions.

And I literally just heard
Ryan getting another erection

when I said those words.

And when you combine that with
the insufficient tax credits,

an estimated


are projected to lose insurance.

But to hear Republicans
like Jason Chaffetz tell it,

there's an easy solution.

- You know what?
Americans have choices.

And they've got to
make a choice.

And so maybe rather than
getting that new iPhone

that they just love

and they want to go spend
hundreds of dollars on that,

maybe they should invest
in their own health care.

- That is complete bullshit.

And it's frankly a little hard
to take a lecture

on making good choices
from a man

who presumably entered
a barbershop and said,

"Give me the wet poodle pubes.

Make it look
like this photo I took."

The truth is, if insurance
cost as much as an iPhone,

we wouldn't even be
having this debate.

People are going to be hurt
by this bill,

and those hit the hardest,

who stand to lose $5,000 or more
under the new plan,

are, ironically,
a group that voted for Trump

by a huge margin,
which is pretty frustrating.

It's like if the people of
Pompeii voted for the volcano.

Oh, I know you get to define
your own self-interest,

but I wish you hadn't voted
for that volcano.

So, look, if this bill
is bad for older Americans,

poor Americans,
and many Trump supporters,

and all these groups oppose it,

who exactly is it for?

- Wealthy Americans are set
to get a sizable tax break

under the GOP's
health care bill,

and the ultra wealthy will see
an even bigger tax cut.

Some of those
in the top 1% of incomes

will get a tax break
of around $33,000.

- Wow.
Phew.

- Those in the top 0.1%
will get an average tax cut

of about $197,000
under the GOP plan.

- Wow indeed.

So this plan is literally
taking money from the poor

and giving it to the very rich.

It's essentially
a "Reverse Bernie Sanders,"

which is actually
also the name of a sex act

consisting of very
aggressive fingering.

[laughter and applause]

And--and it's not just liberals
uncomfortable with this idea.

This week,
Paul Ryan paid a visit to

"Tucker Carlson's
Second Second-Chance Attempt

At His Own TV News Show
With Tucker Carlson"

and found himself
under attack.

- Kind of a hard sell
to say,

"Yeah, we're gonna
repeal Obamacare

"but we're gonna send more money
to the people

who've already gotten the
richest over the last 10 years."

I mean,
that's what this does, no?

I'm not leftist.
It's just--that's true!

- "I'm not leftist.
That's true."

Ryan's plan is so harsh,

it just caused a 47-year-old
boy-man in a bowtie named Tucker

to worry about seeming
overly sympathetic to the poor.

And before you point out

that Tucker Carlson isn't
wearing a bowtie, he is.

Just not where you can see it.

And--and it is
not just Tucker here.

Many Republican governors
and members of Congress

have expressed real concern

that this bill is going to
actively hurt their states.

While on the other hand,
amazingly,

those on the far
right wing of the party,

like Congressman
Mo Brooks of Alabama,

think it's way too generous.

- This far and away
is the biggest

welfare program
ever sponsored,

and quite frankly
it undermines the work ethic.

It increases
greater reliance on welfare

from the federal
government.

Ultimately,
it's gonna result

in the demise
of our country

or at least contribute

to our debilitating
insolvency and bankruptcy.

- So this bill seems almost
universally hated in Washington.

It is truly the Ted Cruz
of health care legislation.

f*ck you, Ted.

f*ck you.
From everybody.

[cheers and applause]

So--so the White House
clearly has

a tough sales job ahead,

and their efforts so far
have been less than impressive.

Just watch White House
press secretary

and breakout star of
"Bridesmaids," Melissa McCarthy,

deploy some visual aids.

- For all the people
who have concerns about this,

especially on the right,
look at the size.

This is the Democrats.
This is us.

There is--

I mean,
you can't get any clearer

in terms of "this is government,
this is not."

- First,
she's a national treasure.

But--but second,

that is the most aggressively
stupid thing I've ever seen.

And I just saw
Jason Chaffetz suggest

paying for health insurance

by retroactively
not buying an iPhone.

And that low page count starts
to get actively worrisome

when you find out
what they spent

a decent amount of time in there
focusing on.

- The Republican plan contains
a section devoted to making sure

people receiving government
health care assistance

who win the lottery are removed
from the program

in an orderly fashion.

In fact, six pages of this bill
is devoted

to letting states dis-enroll

high-dollar lottery winners.

- Okay, so a not-insignificant
percentage of this bill

is focused on
the urgent matter of,

"What if one poor person
suddenly becomes less poor?"

I'm honestly surprised
they didn't also

have a section covering
what would happen

in the event of
a Freaky Friday-type situation.

"If the Medicaid recipient
Freaky-Fridays into the body

"of an individual
living above 138%

"of the federal poverty line,

"states are obligated
to de-enroll recipient

"until recipient
Freaky-Fridays back,

"using wish or magic
not otherwise specified,

or Freaky-Fridays
into an eligible body."

And yet--and yet,
despite all of this,

Republican leaders are
ferociously trying

to jam this bill through.

Already, it had been
introduced in the House

and passed by two committees.

And yet there is one person,
though,

you may've noticed I haven't
actually mentioned so far.

And that is Donald Trump.

And the reason he's been
largely absent from our story

is that he's been largely absent
from this story in general.

Because putting aside
the prop comedy

of the star of "Mike & Molly,"

the White House has been
pretty hands-off with this bill.

And is there really any way,
deep down,

that Trump has actually read
this thing,

given that
he recently said this?

- We have come up
with a solution

that's really, really,
I think, very good.

Now I have to tell you:

it's an unbelievably
complex subject.

Nobody knew that health care

could be so complicated.

- Everybody knew that.

Everybody knew
health care is complicated.

Literally everybody.

It's the one thing people know
about health care.

It's complicated.

It's like you're saying,
"Who knew King Tut was dead?"

Everybody did.

He's as dead as Barry,
Maurice, or Robin Gibb.

Or all of them or none of them.

There's no way to find out.

Trump has been noticeably
distant from this whole process,

and perhaps nothing
shows that more

than how this bill
is being branded.

- Is it by any other name,
Trumpcare?

- I'll call it--
I'll call it Trumpcare

if you want to, but I don't--

I didn't hear President Trump
say to any of us,

"Hey, I want my name on that."

- Holy shit.

Trump is not clamoring
to put his name on this bill,

and he has put his name

on some of the shittiest
products in human history.

He put his name on a vodka,
even though he doesn't drink,

whose slogan was
"Success Distilled,"

which was discontinued.

He put his name on Trump Ties,

which look like
the answer to the question:

"If erectile dysfunction
was a fabric,

what fabric would it be?"

He even slapped
his first and last names

on Donald Trump Jr.,
a man who looks

like a six-year-old's drawing
of a mean bank teller.

Trump not wanting his name
on the health care bill

is like Tyler Perry not wanting
his name anywhere near

"Jew! A Madea Hanukkah."

But--but you know what?

I-I can kind of understand Trump
not wanting his name on this.

It contains
almost nothing that he promised,

as Laura Ingraham
pointed out this week

on "Fox & Friends."

- The Trumpism of
the health care reform,

the Trumpiest parts of it,

were transparency in pricing,

competition across state lines,
and even on the edges,

you know, repealing
the McCarran-Ferguson Act.

Where is that in this plan?

- Oh, I'll tell you.
It's not in there.

He is pushing a health care bill
that is missing

a lot of what he said he wanted.

And that is the kind
of top-shelf deal-making

that you can read all about
in his bestselling book,

"The Art of the...Wait, What
Was the Deal I Wanted Again?

"Oh, I Forget.

"Well, Anyway, Let's Talk About
How Hot My Daughter Is.

Right, Fellas?
Va-Va-Voom!"

And Trump--Trump clearly
noticed that criticism.

Because shortly after
the segment aired, he tweeted,

"Don't worry.
Getting rid of state lines,

"which will promote competition,

will be in phase 2 & 3
of healthcare rollout."

And then, as if to eliminate
any doubt

as to whether he was watching
"Fox & Friends"

he ended the tweet,
"@foxandfriends."

And by the way, just--

just about that "buying
across state lines" business,

Trump and Ryan keep promising

that it's just
around the corner.

But two things you should know.

One,
it probably won't lower prices.

In fact, these three states
currently allow it,

but not a single
out-of-state-insurer

has taken them up on the offer,
which does actually make sense.

'Cause if you're an insurer
in Massachusetts,

it takes a massive amount
of time and investment

to set up new networks of
doctors and hospitals in Maine,

and that's assuming
Maine even has doctors.

I think it's mainly beavers
with stethoscopes up there.

So this--this state line thing

is something people love
to talk about in theory

but no one really wants to do
in practice,

like apple picking

or shower sex.

But--but
the even bigger issue is,

it's almost certainly
not going to happen.

The state-lines bullshit

and a lot of other things
Trump has promised

are not in this bill
because they cannot be,

as Paul Ryan well knows.

- Inter-state shopping
across state lines.

We love that policy,
we think it's critical,

But as you well know,
you cannot put that

in a budget
reconciliation bill.

Otherwise it could be
filibustered.

- Exactly.
He is right.

For procedural reasons,

this is being presented
as a budget bill,

which Republicans can pass
with a simple Senate majority.

Any non-budget-related
policy change

requires 60 votes
to beat a filibuster.

So that is pretty much
a dead end.

Meaning that this bill
is, in all likelihood,

all Trump can get passed
to replace Obamacare.

So it is f*cking important

everyone understands
what is in it,

and that the "something
terrific" that he promised--

better coverage, lower costs,

no one losing
their health insurance--

well, this bill is not it.

The bill Trump is championing
will actually increase costs

for older, poorer Americans,

and will cause millions
of people to lose coverage.

Somebody needs
to explain this to him.

And since he is clearly
still watching "Fox & Friends,"

we might actually
be able to help here.

'Cause you might remember,
last month,

we bought time on that show

to have our catheter cowboy
explain to him

what the nuclear triad is.

Well, saddle up, partner,
for tonight, you ride again!

[cheers and applause]

Because think about it.

Who better to tell Trump
what this bill will do

than someone who stands
to be hurt by it?

Someone in his 60s
in rural America

with an unspecified
medical problem

that requires
constant treatment?

Please enjoy this ad, which will
air on "Fox & Friends"

in the D.C. area
on Wednesday morning.

- Hi, me again.

I'm a professional cowboy
and I use catheters.

Been cowboyin' for 25 years
and there's two things I know.

I don't like pain when I cath

and health care
is a complicated business.

Everybody knows that--
literally everybody.

Also, if my premiums go up
and subsidies go down,

I'm going to wind up
paying more.

That's basic math there, fella.

That's like replacing
my catheter with a garden hose.

I don't want that.

I do not like pain when I cath.

The point is,
if that happens,

millions of folks like me
might get real angry,

which is worth thinking about
if you're the sort of person

who really likes being popular.

You get that, right?

Right?

You get that.

Right?

Right?

You get that, right?

[laughter]

- That's our show!
Thank you so much for watching.

See you next week.
Good night.

- How is that f*cking moving?

Why is it not dead?
It's on fire!

That's f*cked up right there.
Is it me?

Or is that f*cked up?

Whoa, shit!

f*ck this whole thing.

We are grossly irresponsible.

It's coming right at me.
Oh, f*ck this.

I'm not even--

I can't even believe
I agreed to do this.

You guys suck.

[bright tone]