Those thingumajiggies we use in our daily lives?
I mean, someone had to think,
"I'm so sick of paper being a solid.
"What if it was a liquid?
Yeah, a liquid. Liquid paper."
It seems like anyone can invent stuff.
When mr. Hipplehep assigned a project
To market an environmentally safe product,
I thought it sounded manageable,
But I haven't come up with anything.
So far, I've rejected wash-and-wear rollerblades.
Too soggy.
Edible newspapers.
Too pulpy.
What about a solar-powered tanning booth?
Let's see. Solar-powered...tanning booth.
Solar-powered tanning booth.
Stop me when it sounds redundant or absolutely stupid.
Well, that's my hottest idea so far.
Maybe inventing isn't as easy as it looks.
Too bad there's not an invention that invents things.
Hey, now that's an idea!
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ All right, all right ♪
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Way cool
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ All right, all right
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Way cool
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Just do it ♪
Hey, mom. What you making?
Some health snacks.
Thought I'd use up some odds and ends.
Too many odds and ends. That's a problem.
Not a huge problem. Why?
I have to come up with
An environmentally safe product for school.
Then I have to market it around town.
Try some ideas on me.
All my ideas stink.
Let me hear one.
A solar-powered tanning booth.
Wouldn't that be redundant?
That's why it stinks, mom.
Taste this and tell me how you like it.
What's in it?
Good stuff.
Mmm! I can't believe it.
These are great.
Really?
Mmm... Not bad, is it?
It needs something, though.
Coconut. Coconut.
That's it.
Ooh, but they're already setting.
It's a little late to mix this in.
Put it on top.
Even better, roll it in the coconut.
Ah.
Mmm! That is really good.
Mm-hmm.
I'm sick.
What's wrong, ferguson?
I'm sick.
Is it a cold? Flu?
I'm sick.
Come here, sweetheart.
Oh, you do feel a little warm.
Let's look at your throat.
I guess we'll be going
To see dr. Festerspoon.
I'm sick.
And you're taking it so well, too.
All right. This is pathetic.
Do you want some tea with honey and lemon?
And some of those little elf cookies.
I'll see if there are any left.
O.k. We've gotten an appointment.
You're just like your dad.
This is your third bad sore throat.
I know. Why me?
We should think about getting your tonsils out.
Tonsils?
Me?
No way.
Mom, these tonsils are mine.
Maybe you'd feel better with them out.
Once you start, there's no turning back.
First the tonsils go, then the appendix.
They say it's a meaningless organ, but you never know.
Next I'll be without a spleen!
Oh, ferguson, you're delirious.
Then some crazy doctor will try to transplant
A baboon's heart, a calf's liver, duck tape!
What is he talking about?
Hang on to your organs.
I promise.
We're out of elf cookies, but try these.
Oh!
Whoa!
Check it out!
What's in those? Rubber cement?
What makes it bounce like that?
Could be the guar gum.
Let me try that.
These are great.
You said these are healthy?
% Organic.
Environmentally friendly, tastes like a dream,
And, hey...it bounces.
You know, some things are invented
To solve a problem,
But some are invented just for fun.
Would you mind me marketing these for my project?
Why would i?
You made them.
But you discovered that they bounce.
Yeah, you're right.
I think I'll call them bouncy balls.
Yeah, bouncy balls.
I have a feeling
This will be one sweet deal.
Have you decided on a project yet?
It's not going so well.
What's your product?
You know how people always talk about conserving water?
What if you put a big cement brick
In the bathtub?
In the tub?
It displaces water, so you use less,
And you still get a nice, full tub.
But no one wants to bathe with a brick.
I'm sorry.
Me, too.
I wonder if eli whitney
Had this problem with the cotton gin.
No. I bet they raved
About that stupid cotton gin.
I think you're taking this too personally.
The bath brick is me, o.k.?
Obee-kaybee.
How's the bouncy ball campaign going?
The response has been overwhelming.
I went to businesses this afternoon.
Three of them wanted to order bouncy balls.
No way. Which three?
The healthy hideaway, the dandy candy store,
And bubba's rib shack.
Bubba's rib shack was on your client list?
Bubba was at dandy candy.
I gave him a free sample.
Wow. Real orders.
Too bad we didn't make enough to fill them.
Why don't you?
What?
Fill the orders.
Go into business? Could we?
Why not? During the depression,
My great-uncle lester made a fortune
Selling homemade mascara.
You could make a go of bouncy balls.
Going into business for real. That's an idea.
Maybe I'll bounce it off my mom.
Not in a thousand years.
Not if my life depended on it.
What's up?
Ferguson will have to have his tonsils out.
Does that mean he can't speak for a few days?
I'm not doing it.
Dr. Festerspoon feels strongly about it.
Festerspoon? That old quack.
I want a second opinion.
I had mine out when I was .
I'm in the middle of my troubled teens.
I refuse to stay in a hospital ward
Where they have barney painted on the walls.
Even if you can have
All the ice cream you want?
Funny.
Your sore throats will disappear.
That's just propaganda put out by the doctors.
Ah...
My throat hurts.
You know, my throat's a little scratchy, too.
How about some bullion?
All right.
O.k.
So how's your project going?
Incredible.
People love those bouncy balls.
Some stores want to put in orders--
You know, buy them, pay money.
You're kidding.
Do you think it would be crazy to sell them?
You mean, go into business?
Yeah. Listen, mom.
You, me, wholesale, retail.
What do you think?
That's an awfully big undertaking,
And I already have a job.
But doesn't it sound fun?
Are you sure you want to go into business
With your own mother?
It's not like going on a double date.
That would be weird.
I don't even want to think about that.
What about us working together?
That uncomfortable mother/daughter stuff is behind us.
I mean, pretty much. Don't you think?
It would be kind of fun.
So should we try?
Why not go for it?
Any headway with ferguson?
I told him I'd go through
The operation for him
If I hadn't already had my tonsils out.
And?
Then I remembered--
I never did have my tonsils out.
He's trying to arrange a double operation.
It will never fly.
Why not?
Marshall, with all your sore throats--
I don't want my tonsils out.
O.k., Dad.
We have some big news.
Clarissa and I are going into business together.
We're selling bouncy balls.
Oh, that's great,
But don't you think it's weird
To eat something you bounced on the floor?
You've been eating them
After they've been on the floor?
No.
I need more bullion.
When is our first meeting?
Tonight after dinner. Are you free?
I'll check my schedule.
O.k., Partner.
I've got a good feeling about this.
Why shouldn't it work out?
Think about all those great mother/daughter teams,
Like country music stars
Naomi and wynonna judd.
Imagine partying on with your mom.
♪ Well, she's my mom ♪
♪ And she's my daughter ♪
♪ We're just two girls on the road together ♪
♪ Through thick and thin ♪
♪ Through high and low ♪
♪ When you see us passing by ♪
♪ Just say hello
♪ Just say hello-o-o-o ♪
[Applause]
And what about queen elizabeth
And the queen mum?
Talk about grace under pressure.
When judy garland and her daughter liza minnelli
Took the stage together,
Well, that's entertainment, folks.
And they worked out o.k., Right?
Me and my mom in business.
What could possibly go wrong?
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na na
It's been business as usual at bouncy ball, incorporated.
We've got a license, happy clients,
And mom and I are getting along just fine.
Really, we're fine.
I mean, all business partners have their disagreements, right?
We got into our first argument over the packaging.
I wanted to put bouncy balls in a see-through globe.
Mom felt they looked best in a line.
I guess it's o.k.
Then we disagreed on the new flavor.
Mom wanted carob. I wanted peanut butter
Because people only eat carob when they're out of chocolate.
We discussed it as equals.
This is our new flavor-- carob.
Now we're on to advertising.
Local cable's got cheap rates,
So we've decided to run an ad.
The problem is, which ad?
Mom likes the mellow, nutritional approach...
[Janet] when life gets too hectic,
It's good to get back to nature
And get some nature back into you
With bouncy balls.
While I prefer a funkier approach.
♪ Dress 'em up in diamonds and silk ♪
♪ Wear 'em, share 'em, spread 'em on bread ♪
♪ Bounce 'em off your brother's head ♪
♪ Buy 'em shoes and make 'em jog ♪
♪ Introduce 'em to your dog ♪
♪ Tie 'em to a red balloon ♪
♪ Send them flying to the moon ♪
Why do I feel like mellow will win?
It's not that mom doesn't listen to my ideas.
She just gets so excited about her ideas.
She's my mom. I can't compete.
Hi, sam.
Hey, clarissa.
Whew!
Brought you a present--
Your very own bath brick.
Thanks.
No one wanted to try it except dad.
Did he like it?
He stubbed his toe on it.
How's business going?
We've got plenty of orders.
It's just...my mom.
Not pulling her weight?
She's doing her fair share. My fair share, too.
So much for equal partnership.
Hi, samuel.
I talked to the cable station.
We've decided to go with the nature campaign.
Isn't this exciting?
Whenever we have a decision to make,
She gives her opinion, I give my opinion,
And we use hers.
If she's bossing you, shouldn't you tell her?
I guess I'd better.
Know the tricky thing about a family business?
Having to deal with your family.
Festerspoon's a quack, janet.
Nobody made you get your throat examined, marshall.
It's ridiculous--
A guy my age having his tonsils out.
You had another case of tonsillitis.
I'm a grownup. I can handle it.
[Cough cough]
Do we have any popsicles?
I think you ate the last of them.
All set for the hospital, ferguson?
I've just got one thing to take care of.
"I, ferguson w. Darling,
Being of sound mind and body--"
What is that?
My will.
That must be pages.
Actually, .
You can read the rest to me in the car.
We're supposed to check in by :--
That is, unless we go to tijuana instead.
Sounds good.
Clarissa and I will come to tuck you in.
And tomorrow morning, zero hour--
Kkkkkktt!
Don't make me go, mom.
[Marshall] come on, ferguson.
I'll see you both later.
So, should we go over next week's budget?
Mom, can we talk?
Sure. What is it?
It's this partnership.
It feels out of balance.
How?
Like some are doing more.
You can't put in the hours I do.
School is the priority.
But I want more input.
You created the whole concept.
I'm having a really good time doing this.
Mom, you're not hearing me.
[Telephone rings]
Hold that thought.
Hello.
Yes, it is.
Chelsea chipley?
Thechelsea chipley, of health mountain?
Of course I have.
Your books on wheat gluten are the best.
You would?
Really?
Oh, well, gee, I guess so.
Tomorrow at
O.k.
Bye.
You'll never guess who that was.
Chelsea chipley!
Who's chelsea chipley?
The owner of health mountain.
The company that makes health junk?
You eat their products every day.
Chelsea wants to sell our bouncy balls
Through health mountain.
No way!
Yes! Isn't this exciting?
I mean, we're not selling.
There are advantages to letting
Health mountain market bouncy balls.
The whole idea of this
Was that we'd go into business together.
They would sell them on a national level.
So will we one day...maybe.
Health mountain will put sappy poetry quotes
On the label.
I insist we hear chelsea chipley out.
I insist you hear me out.
I'm not selling.
We'll see.
I don't like this idea.
Mom seems bent on selling,
And I'm opposed to it.
I guess we'll have to battle it out.
The force is with you,
But you are not yet a gourmet cook.
It is useless to resist.
Don't let yourself be destroyed
Like betty crocker did.
Join me at health mountain.
Together, we can end this destructive conflict
Over the bouncy ball empire.
No. I'll never join you at health mountain!
I am your mother,
And I can make you.
No. It can't be true.
It's impossible!
Join me.
Together, we can rule the snack-food world
As mother and daughter.
Come with me. It is the only way.
Aa-aa-aaah!
I've got to get through to mom
Before this whole thing spins out of control.
Well, all's quiet on the bouncy ball front.
Mom and I aren't speaking to each other.
With dad and ferguson having tonsillectomies,
There isn't much small talk in this household.
Hey, guys. How you feeling?
Dad, here's your tea.
You're having more ice cream?
Doesn't that stuff hurt your throat?
Bye, guys.
I'm getting tired of holding up conversation.
[Doorbell rings]
That will be chelsea chipley.
I'd better prepare for w*r.
How unfair. I'm already outnumbered.
Clarissa, I'd like you to meet chelsea chipley.
Hi.
So you're the whiz kid behind bouncy balls.
Am i?
Please, sit down.
It's a pleasure to meet the woman
On top of health mountain.
It's nice to know people share our concerns.
I'm very proud of what we stand for--
Health, nature, good karma.
Bouncy balls will fit in beautifully
With our philosophy.
I think so, too.
Thank you, janet.
Clarissa, this is what I'm thinking.
If there's one thing
Health mountain cares about
As much as health,
It's kids.
We plan to market bouncy balls
As a kid food--
"Good for kids, made by kids."
Actually, my mom made them.
Oh, that's terrific.
Aren't you just a marvel in the kitchen?
Ha ha ha!
But I can't use that.
You, I can use.
We need to open the wonders of nature
To a youthful audience.
We'll put your face on the package.
How about that?
I don't know.
Sounds great, clarissa.
Where did you try bouncy balls?
The health hideaway?
Oh, no. Umm... This cute little place,
License plates on the walls.
Bubba's rib shack. That's it.
It's kind of run-down,
But that man knows his ribs.
You eat ribs?
Huh?
Oh, no, no, no.
You just said that bubba makes great ribs.
Well, maybe I had just one little bite.
So sh**t me.
In your book my earth, my garden,
You're such an advocate of vegetarianism.
Oh?
Oh, that's right.
Is that something that can slip your mind?
Absolutely not.
Vegetarianism is very important to me.
How about some fresh bouncy balls?
I would love one.
Mmm...
You really like them?
I love them. They're so sweet.
You would never believe that's a health food.
Normally, I hate the stuff.
Oh, come on. All those adzuki beans,
Sprouts, seaweed.
Ha ha ha!
Then why do you run health mountain?
Because there are enough granola heads
To make a k*lling.
Oh, no offense, janet.
Oh...
Anyway, back to business.
I am going to need your signatures on this.
A contract?
We'll own bouncy balls and all ancillary rights
Including video, merchandising,
Foreign licensing in perpetuity
In this form and any not yet invented--
And that clarissa will be needed
For consulting and advertising.
And what did you have in mind for me?
Nothing.
Oh, now, don't take it personally.
With the youth angle, we won't be much help.
Believe me.
Well, this is an excellent opportunity
For you, clarissa.
I knew you wouldn't stand in the way
Of your daughter's success.
She's not standing in my way.
We make decisions together. Right, mom?
Oh, please. Your mom doesn't care.
Well, actually, yes, I do.
And we care what happens to bouncy balls.
Well...
Well, well.
I guess I'm wasting my time.
As far as I'm concerned,
You can take your bouncy balls
And bounce them.
Bounce them? Bounce them?
I didn't expect chelsea chipley
To be so...
Unhealthy?
Exactly.
You know, you're right.
It's not much fun being left out of the process.
I got a taste of my own medicine.
It's o.k., Mom.
I wouldn't sell to her in a million years.
Still partners?
Yeah. I think we're back in business.
♪ Na na na na na
♪ Na na na na na... ♪