01x06 - Borscht Bistro

[bunniefuu]

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foreign

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for some reason I'm craving grapes

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excuse me are you made of window cleaner

because I can see my face in your pants

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if I say you pretty will you hold

against me

foreign

hello gorgeous I'm yoshika I'm from

Budapest you are so stunning and exotic

where are you from Empire Caribbean Part

Puerto Rican part time Moroccan do you

have any Hungarian in you not really

sorry would you like to have one in you

tonight

blood is amazing there is food from

every country in the world yeah but not

best food in the world you're right no

Russian food

Hungarian food best food in the world

Hungarian food not even best food in

Hungary only good food you have is

washed and you're still there from

Russia good buddy have you noticed there

is no postcard

it's poor people do nothing

it is up to us to let them know yeah hey

everybody do you know you're missing

Porsche and

to stop that day

you Mr Smith the hot sweaty man you look

very thirsty how about the refreshing

cup of hot boss yeah oh it's good

we have not sold one cup all day but I

give up is not working

no no not give up I have uncle in

Budapest yeah very successful

businessman he always say vocation

location location

he started but he's very successful now

we find a better location

yeah a place where everybody go

perfect the easyest place on the beach

the customer get ready

we must face facts we have failed we

could not even sell one small spot of

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maybe that is problem we think too small

yeah we get Pickle pot

no no we are in America now we must

think big from start did Apple computer

start in garage did McDonald's start

with just one store did America start

with one ship from England

ah we open Porsche garage

oh my God

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Russian Hungarian restaurant

Hungarian Russian restaurant huh exactly

Russian Hungary this idea cannot fail I

must say that I am not familiar with

these two Cuisines I have however been

intimate with ladies from both countries

dude if you're not going to invest get

out of the way I do have two or three

gold teeth that I may be willing to part

with this one is my college fund this

one I'm keeping for a rainy day

here if you need someone to cook I can

work in the kitchen but I don't do

dishes

Papa I'm so proud of you meaning I could

design the menu

you'll know the rules no hanging out

here when there's no lifeguard oh hello

blondes love what are you doing hanging

around with these foreigners actually

miss Knight we are going to open

restaurant hey perhaps you would like to

invest put my money in a business run by

immigrants fair chance even if you could

get a loan and a permit and find a place

to open it 99 of businesses fail in the

first year but not restaurants

and that's why it's just about

impossible for immigrants to get a big

clone I mean you not talk to them they

competition now they come to spy

whatever she say it's like all instead

was immigrants can't get loans that's

not true American citizen can sign for

U.S front man

thank you for tip

you will not drive me out of business I

will compete

I will arrange for loan

money and purchase food agreed and then

people meet back at apartment and post

to our new successful business yeah

God

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oh might I say it's a privilege to be

working with such a fine looking loan

officer not just to be clear officer is

a bank title and not associated with the

police am I correct

and also to be clear I am not a legal

alien

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oh dear paperwork and it appears I have

arrived here with my seeing glasses not

my literacy glasses

sale last seven days

neat story hello hi how is everything

I'm looking for good price on 200 pounds

of high quality meat that you know

tastes good is good good meat do you

want you got your part you got your

chicken your lamb not beef I need beef

oh you're talking to Kettle like a Meats

that'll cost you

ah yeah I was thinking about this

well I don't know I might be able to do

this okay that is your original price

come on all right I'll tell you what I'm

gonna do I like the color your jib let

me go check with my boss

I'm so sorry but he won't budge that's

his best price then I take it

nah I know the bank's interest rate is

eight percent I would just like to say

my interest rate and you is 100

what you turned down American citizen

it's cause I don't have a permanent

address ain't it look I told you

sometimes I'm with Gladys and sometimes

I'm with Mavis but it's still the same

building oh come on baby give a brother

a chance

I know what this is about it's cause I'm

black

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I design the menu oh it's beautiful

sweetheart thank you so much and you

also mean but but I knew it

this original menu designer yet I I have

bad news long was the Night by bank that

should be no restaurant

we have 200 pounds of meat

you've spent all investors money on meat

yeah yeah I got good price but we have

no place to sell it we did not get loan

well maybe we can use meat to bribe bank

for long it's like old Hungarian saying

it take me to make meat short American

Banks nothing except the meat we have to

return it

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you buy meat in watch store it was meat

store an hour ago I am sure

according to sign it has been watched

for a long time

yeah hi I wish to return meat this is a

watch store now I can't take anything

back unless it tells time but the sign

said you would be meat store for seven

more days yeah we put that up a week ago

please when I bought the meat we did not

know we would not need it yeah all right

do you have a receipt yes is the meat

still in its original condition yes yes

does the meat tell time yeah no then I

can't take it back

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I heard no that's right you come to Back

forgiveness no we thought maybe you

would like to buy some meat yeah 200

pounds real cheap what can you meet you

got your pork you got your chicken your

lamb beef beef

oh Lincoln Town Car of meat

I give you one dollar but we paid 500 I

tried to support family here you know

what it costs to send for ungrateful

daughters to college

okay one dollar

that's all you see we sound long we have

no place to set up restaurant and with

that restaurant we have no place to cook

and sell meat that's it no more business

speculations for me I'm putting my money

in a safe place

my investment gone that money was going

towards a fallout shelter I might as

well have just throw my money into a big

hole in the ground well we used all our

savings to buy this meat Smite as well

cook it up and enjoy it now that you

mention it I can go for a 35 pound

burger right around now

I'll fire up the barbecue I'll set up

some tables

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wait a minute

come on what this remind you of oh good

idea we will have weddings you call me

Brainiac a restaurant we will open the

restaurant here in Courtyard the Vista

Del Maria

to open the restaurant in apartment

complex it will only be for one night

just so we can pay for this meat and

make our money back dude that's a good

idea like a big one night only party

let's do it

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what is this a crowd scene from Moscow

under Hudson I thought I told you no

loitering we are not lawyering we are

walking very slowly back to our

Apartments well hurry it up

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um

my offer of free massage is still good

you know what they say about older women

we're like a fine wine

60 years ago you may have been full body

but you're bitter and dry now

I go

there goes there

I open up a restaurant here even if

we're sorry for one night so I haven't

seen victim if only we had a way to keep

her in her apartment and get really

drunk so she falls asleep for the night

yeah but how

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long this night you are looking

thanks for the blues

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as Russian I do not like to rush it

perhaps you fix drink while I fix Shades

to make privacy

this box is in the Hang house

foreign

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advertise

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much quicker than putting restaurants

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I love themed restaurants the fake

poverty is so authentic I'm not sure if

the theme is poverty or petting zoo

hello hi welcome to the post Bistro we'd

like your finest table

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please take lovely couple to Table Three

three

did you remember

listen Jenny cancel all my freaking

reservations tonight I've just

discovered a hip new place

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oh all right let's go

we must drink to idea of going

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okay today's special Hungarian goulash

for 7.95 or all meat you can eat for

500. how's the beef stroganoff oh

traditional Russian recipe it's

absolutely delicious and terrific and

super yummy also it's Ultra healthy this

dish is a miracle but I recommend the

goulash we'll have the goulash good

choice do you have a smoking section

slow down there are too many orders I'm

in other words

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oh stupid restaurant is success I work

hard to raise my family and make good

life for you and our daughters and now

after all my hard work we are crushed by

competition oh do not give up okay we

will have more daughters and start again

no I will not roll over I came to

America to be an American and in America

We Fight Fire With Fire

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hey come we will learn to compression

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how you two drinks so much

I was vodka princess 1936.

my prize was a lifetime supply of vodka

don't you ever met so sober after all

you and your sisters

it's time I sent you into orbit my

little rusky cosmonaut

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that's right back it's bad idea

oh that's a lot of money Holmes yeah we

are now even for remainder of night

everything is profit ah you hear that

we're gonna be rich

nothing

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quick

Donuts

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don't you just love Russian theater

oh

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midnight we have opened up a restaurant

but it's only for rest of tonight we at

ends now everybody get out of here all

of you

you heard me everybody out Miss Knight

please people are just about to make big

money what was that big money you say

Yeah in that case I want in

okay we give you maybe about 10 90. ah

take a walk sister

fine then I'm calling immigration 90

sounds fair

ninety percent it is but we have one

condition will you please put roll back

on

please

nice place who's the owner I owe 90

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health inspector that's right and you're

operating a restaurant without the

proper permits that's a violation of

health code number

like you know the health code numbers

just trust me it's one of them but we're

about to make lots of money

maybe we could work something

out

oh that's tour violations

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I shouldn't see that ending coming

Eastern Europeans are known for their

circuses more than their theater

thank you

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how did we do

not so good we break even break even

this is great news are you still drunk

or something how is this great news was

bad idea buying meat bad idea getting me

snipe drunk terrible idea

sex with over a thousand women

oh

yes

bad ideas we still like even all we need

is good idea and we cannot fail

you know you make good point my friend

hey I think I have one do not say no

until you're here okay two words we buy

a bunch of watches yet don't say no to

you here we take the watches we bring

them to a store a store

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thank you

foreign

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