03x19 - Swellview's Got Talent

[bunniefuu]

- In five... four...

three... two...

[ audience cheers ]

- Good evening, and welcome to...

[ all together ] Swellview's Got Talent!

- I'm Danny Chest.

- We love you Danny Chest!

[ cheers ]

- I get the same thing all the time.

- Allll right ladies, try to control yourselves.

- Man, that Danny Chest is handsome.

[ doorbell rings ]

Ooo!

- Sushi Dushi.

- Oh, good! But hang on a sec!

I'm watching television!

- Hey, what show is that? Swellview's Got Talent?

- Yeah! My daughter's on tonight.

She's gonna be dancing!

Oh. Well sure, I can stay.

Scoochie Doochie.

- Now, let's take a minute to say hello

to this week's celebrity judges!

Starting with chair number one...

everybody knows basketball's biggest superstar,

LeBron James!

[ audience cheers ]

So let's all welcome LeBron's childhood friend...

Vanessa Harris!

[ light applause ]

And next... - Hey hey hey,

they're about to introduce the boys!

- Ooo! - So exciting!

- The guys filling judges' chairs numbers two and three

are no strangers to anyone here in Swellview.

Now give it up for Captain Man and Kid Danger!

[ big applause ]

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Hi Danny Chest.

- Hey Danny.

- Chest.

- Ahaha... All right then...

Since we're nearing the end of this competition,

do you guys think that any of the performers this week

can b*at our current front-runner?

- Ooo...man, that's a tough one.

- That's uh, hard to say. - That's a hard one.

- Um, if I had to say, I'd say no.

- 'Cuz I could say yes, but the truth really is no.

- Unless you think... - But, I mean...

- Naw. No no no no. - Nope.

[ chuckling ]

- Well, clearly our judges think that our current front-runner,

Steven Sharp, is gonna be pretty tough to b*at.

And I'll show you why!

C'mon out here, Steven!

Last week, this guy wowed us with his talent

for throwing Cuban zip spikes.

Can you give us a little taste of that again?

- Of course.

How about I throw one at camera two?

- He-hey! Fantastic!

- Wow.

- Thank you! I'm Steven!

Thank you for applauding my talent!

- All right, let's bring out

our first new performer of the evening.

Please give an SGT welcome tooo...

Harry Hoagie!

- Hey there Harry. - What's up, Harry?

- I used to know LeBron James.

- So Harry...

tell us what we're gonna see you do tonight.

- Well, I'm gonna eat this entire foot submarine sandwich

in less than sixty seconds.

- Okay! Sixty seconds on the clock!

- Whooaaa... nice clock graphic.

- All right.

Ready...set...

[ all togther ] Go!

- Ahhhhhh....

AHHHH!

- Okay! That's uh... - Don't, don't, clap right now.

- I was just trying to be supportive.

- No that was not supposed-- - Sure that's not part of the...

- Yes. Nope. Not supposed to happen.

- Okay...not sure what's wrong with Harry.

But no worries! Because our next two performers

are about to dance their way into your hearts:

Here is Carl Markus and Piper Hart!

- There she is.

- So, how long have you two been dance partners?

- For about six months.

- And what's your favorite kind of dancing?

- The kind that wins Swellview's Got Talent.

- All right, well kids, let's see what ya got!

- Okay!

[ music plays ]

♪ Yeah watch me on the floor

♪ Hey hey hey

♪ Watch me on the floor

- No. No. Don't do that.

- Ba baa ahhhh.

- Obviously a major malfunction.

- Again? 'Cuz that's what the last guy did.

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

- Hey guys, come here!

- Okay. What do you got?

- All right. Check this out...

Last night, Henry's sister and two other performers

all freaked out in the exact same way.

First, the sandwich guy...

- Ahhhh!

- Just like Carl Markus and Henry's sister did.

- Maybe they all got sick.

- Nah, Piper was fine right before the show,

and she was totally fine right after.

- Well, if they didn't get sick

then somebody did something to them.

But why?

- And who?

- And where?

- At...at the show.

- Huh?

- You said, you said where. Right?

We-we know where.

At the show.

- Okay, do you always have to criticize me

when I'm trying to figure things out?

- Wait what? I was just, I was just--

- Y'know, sometimes a little encouragement

would be helpful, y'know?

A kind word?

Maybe a hug?

- Uh, I'm, I'm sorry.

Here you...you wanna hug, let's, let's hug...

- No not now, I don't want your hug now.

- What? Okay, you just said you wanted a hug.

I'm gonna' give you a-- - Yeah, when you WANT to, okay?

I don't want a hug from you

right after I tell you I want a hug.

I only want it to happen 'cuz you wanna hug me,

when it's your idea, not 'cuz I'd had to ask for it.

- Anywaaaaaay... so what's our plan?

- [ sighs ]Well, they're letting the people who passed out

last night perform again tonight.

- Oh.

So, you and Ray will be there as judges,

so just keep an eye out for anyone backstage--

- No no no no bad idea bad idea.

- Pardon?

- Henry and I are gonna be stuck at the judges table.

So, we can't sneak "backstage" to figure out what's goin' on,

what's the matter with you?

- Y'know...

sometimes I like kind words and hugs, too.

- Oh grow up.

- Well fine. Then let's hear your great idea.

- Sure.

During the show, you and Schwoz sneak backstage,

so you two can look around and try to figure out

what's goin' on. - Nah nah...

they only let the stage crew and performers backstage.

- True.

Charlotte, go buy yourself some boy dancing clothes.

- Huh? - Don't say huh just do it.

Schwoz...

go buy a blonde wig and a little girl's sequined jacket.

- Already got 'em!

- Now?

- Yeah, okay.

- We're gonna be live in five, people...

we are live in five minutes.

God I love this headset.

- Hey, hey...

there's my sister and her dance partner.

- Right. Let's get over there.

- Excuse me, Captain Man...?

- Uh. Yeah, what?

- Uh, I'm Steven Sharp.

- Oh yeah, how ya doin'?

- I'm talking to Captain Man.

- Oh. Well okay.

- Uh...What is that?

- Oh uh, this is my ferret, Fosset.

- Your ferret? - Fosset?

- He brings me good luck when I rub him.

And so I share my ferret with others,

so that all may have good luck.

- Cool.

Well, see ya.

- Have a good one.

- I was talking to Captain Man!

- Wow...okay.

- Hey look, it's the president of the Man Fans.

- Oh hey Captain Man!

I'm really sorry we spazzed out and fainted last night.

I have no idea what happened.

- We just started dancing and the next thing...

Wait what are you..?

- All right...

There.

- Charlotte, Schwoz, get in here.

- Okay... now you're Piper...

- And you're Carl.

- Fine. But I am NOT going out there and dancing.

- No. You won't have to.

We'll figure out who's sabotaging the performers

before you guys are called to go on.

- Right, so just hang out back here

and keep your eyes open.

- We'll do it.

- Hey, where you two goin'?

- Oh, we're judges. We're supposed to be out--

- Wait...Jasper?!?

- Yeah! Look! I'm here!

- Aww. - Why?!?

- To help!

- You're supposed to be at Junk-N-Stuff watching the store!

- Well I wanna help solve this crime!

- That's it, I'm gonna wreck this kid...

- Wait no!

ANNOUNCER: Sixty seconds to air.

- You don't have time! Jasper don't cause any problems!

All right? - Do you guys like my beard?

- Gi! - No. Hey hey hey!

- Let me hurt him!

Just let me hurt him!

Okay people! Places!

Take two! Hold the work!

Real beard! All right?

- My sandwich!

- I'm sorry!

Uh here... just hold on uh, uh...

- Ohhh Jasper.

- In five...four... three... two...

- Hey-yo!

And welcome again to...

[ all together ] Swellview's Got Talent!

All right.

I'm Danny Chest.

- We love you Danny Chest!

- Okaaay...

Now, last night we had some problems here.

So, tonight is gonna be a kind of "do-over" type deal.

Sound good?

- Cool, thanks for buyin' into the premise.

Okay! First up, this guy can actually eat a...

Uh-huh... oh really?

Apparently we had a "sandwich sitch" backstage,

so we're gonna show you that guy later.

And instead, we're gonna start off the show

with two amazing kid dancers: So let's bring 'em out!

Carl Markus and Piper Hart!

- Uh-oh.

- This should be interesting.

- No no no...we're not supposed to go on 'til later!

- There's been a change! You gotta go on now!

Okay! We're ready!

- No we're not!

- Piper and Carl!

On their way!

- C'mon!

- Wait! Wait!

The dancers need to pet my ferret for good luck

before they perform!

- There's no time!

- We failed.

Oh Fosset...

- All right, let's give Piper and Carl

some encouragement!

- Dude, we told 'em they wouldn't have to dance.

- I know.

- Well, Charlotte and Schwoz haven't even rehearsed!

What are we gonna do?!?

- Watch. Probably laugh.

Then judge.

- So, are you guys feeling better

after what happened last night?

- Uh, uh, yeah...much better.

- Hmmm... that doesn't look like Carl.

- All right kids, let's see what you got.

[ music plays ]

♪ Yeah watch me on the floor

- Uh, I just heard them say that you're performing next.

- Yeah. - Well then...

You'll need some good luck. Pet my ferret.

- Uh, I dunno man, it didn't work too well last night.

- Then pet harder. Here...

- Ferrets...ferrets... ferrets...

The Norwegian Ferret...

"Danger: Avoid contact with Norwegian Ferrets,

because they secrete powerful oils

that can cause strange reactions,

such as tongue-chewing, head vibrations,

and loss of consciousness."

Hey!

- Hello. Your beard looks fake.

- You're making the other performers pet your ferret

so they'll pass out, so then you can win first place!

- Ah. You figured that out, did you?

- Sure did.

- Well, so did he.

- Who? I don't see any--

- Yesssss. That's right.

Absorb my ferret's oil. Enjoy your nap.

- Hey! The spike thrower's attacking

our bearded production assistant!

- No I'm not!

- Uh, yeah you are! And that's against the rules!

- So? - So you're disqualified.

- Oh, uh...

Well uh, I guess I've lost then.

So, I suppose I'll just uh--

Ahhh! - Stop him!

- Stop the show!!!

- Thank you!

- Now Steven, you're not supposed to be on stage.

- You shut your stupid mouth, Danny Chest!

- Wow.

- Uh son, why don't you get off the stage 'til it's your turn.

- No! I came on this show to win back my girlfriend!

'Cuz Kid Danger stole her from me!

[ crowd gasps ] - Ahhhhh!

- Dude, I never stole your girlfriend.

- You did too! Back off Danny Chest!

- Hey!

- My girlfriend used to love me!

Until you got to be Captain Man's sidekick!

Then she got all obsessed

with the "cool, good-looking Kid Danger!"

- What-what she look like? Is she cute?

- She got a mom?

- You distracted my girlfriend, so now...

Prepare to eat spike!

CAPTAIN MAN: Steven! Don't be insane!

Kid Danger has hyper motility.

- Wait, what's that, some disease?

- Nooo! It's a superpower.

- It means that if he throws a Cuban zip spike at me,

I can just knock it away.

- Oh yeah? Let's see you try!

- Uh, is there a nurse in the audience?

- Could I switch seats with you?

- All right! Maybe I can't hurt Kid Danger...

or Captain Man...

...but I can hurt Danny Chest!

- You leave Danny Chest alone!

- Security! Security!

- Should we uh...? Maybe we should...

- Just jump in there? I mean we are super...

- Nah he's good. He's good. - They got it. They got it.

- No! No! I did it for my girlfriend!

I just wanted my girlfriend baaaack!!!

- Wow!

Well, you all just saw it, live, right here

on Swellview's Got Talent!

Piper Hart just saved my life!

- Danny Chest! I love you!

- What the butt happened?!?

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.