03x14 - Green Fingers

[bunniefuu]

- Hey...

Hey Mom, mom...

- What, what?

- I uh, I gotta go to work,

but I'm not feelin' too good.

Is there any orange juice?

- I think we're out.

[ all coughing ]

[ groans ]

- So, we're all sick?

- Well-- - No, I'm fine.

I'm not sick and I'm going to play

in the Dadminton tournament.

- Wait, what's "Dadminton?"

- It's a badminton tournament, for Dads only.

So Mom can't play.

- Mom doesn't care!

- Mom, I'm ready.

- Oh baby, c'mon,

you were up sick all night, you can't go.

- AHHHH!!!!

- Yeah, still can't go.

- Henry, will you please tell Mom

what a big deal Glozella is?!?

- It's a big deal.

What's Glozella?

- Ulch! It's a huge music festival,

and it's in Swellview this year,

and Glozell is hosting it,

and I love music and Glozell so I'm going!!!

- Piper, I'm sorry,

but you are too sick to go to Glozella...

- Mom!!!

- And you are too sick to play nerd tennis...

- Wife!!!

- And you are too sick to go to work.

- Oh come on!

My boss is expecting me to go do a hard day's work.

And you're sayin' I should just...

just sit at home and... and chill and relax?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

I just gotta... I just gotta call my boss

and--and tell him I'm not comin' in.

I usually make my calls outside...

on the porch...

by myself--okay.

Hey Ray... [ coughing ] Ray...

- Hey, you're supposed to be getting to work now,

why aren't you here?

- Uh, 'cuz I can't come in to work--I'm sick.

- Oh, so you're in the hospital?

- Uh...Well, no, I'm not in the hospital

but I'm not feelin' that--

- Henry, we're crime fighters.

And since criminals don't blow off work when they're sick,

neither do Captain Man and Kid Danger.

- Ray...

- I mean, you ever seen me blow off work?

- Okay, that's not fair!

- Why is it not fair? - Because!

You've been indestructible since you were eight,

you can't get sick!

- That's right, so... be more like me.

- Look, my mom says I can't come in to work, so...

- Your mom? - Yeah.

- Want me to come talk to her?

- Okay, you know what? I'll be there in ten minutes.

- Nehahahahaha!

- Yeah...

aw yeah... that's nice...

look at me...

- [ coughing ] Hey everybody.

- Hi Henry. - Hey Hen.

- [ sneezes ]

- No sneezing.

- Hey, you sick, too?

- Nooo, I'm just collecting a giant pile of dirty tissues.

- That's gross.

- Hey everybody!

- Hey what's up? - Hey Schwoz.

- Since it's Saturday morning,

look what I brought! Cupcakes!

- Oh! - Sweet.

- Hey Henry, grab me one would ya?

- Uh, yeah sure.

- Daaaahh!!!

- Dang it, Schwoz!!!

- Aw, the cupcakes...

- Everything's fine.

- What's goin' on with him?

- I dunno. He's acting kinda'...

[ coughs ]

- Ugggghhh,

am I gonna have to listen to that all day?

[ blows nose ]

- Uh hey, y'know my whole family's sick, too?

Jasper, how you feelin'?

- Great. Just gettin' a little tired

of holding these paints.

- Higher.

- Hello.

So uh...

did anyone here recently

go into my science laboratory?

- Well, yeah.

- You sent me and Charlotte and Jasper there on Thursday.

- To put labels on your beakers.

- Okay, well...

I think I did a bad thing.

- What did you do?

- Well, you know how I've always wanted to be famous?

By curing some terrible disease?

- Yeah. - Uh-huh.

- So, I figured...

the fastest way to come up with a cure

was to create my own terrible disease.

- What?!? - What?

- Ah...Classic Schwoz.

- Hold on. Hold on.

Are you're saying that you think

we have that disease that you created?

- Well...

- He--he doesn't know that!

I mean, maybe we just have a cold or...

or the flu or... or dandruff!

- Yeah, Schwoz, you don't know why they're sick,

you're not a doctor.

- I know what I'm talking about!

Look at Henry's pinky fingers!

- Oh yeah. Why are they green?

- It's one of the symptoms of my disease.

- Ahhhh!!! My pinkies are green, too!

- Let me see!

[ bell rings ]

- Yah. You both have my disease.

- Ahhhh great!

- Well, what about Jasper?

He was with us.

He touched your beakers.

Does he have your disease?

- Let me see here...

- [ giggles ]

[ buzzer sounds ]

- Jasper is clean, no disease.

- Well we have it, why doesn't he?!?

- I-I don't know why Jasper doesn't have it.

He should. My disease is very contagious.

- Well, what do Henry and I do now?!?

- Yeah! And what about my family?!?

- I can answer that.

Schwoz, you better come up with a cure

for your stupid disease. - Okay...

- And until he does...Henry, since you're both contagious,

you and Charlotte are gonna have to be quarantined

in your house, with your family.

- What is quarantined?

- It means that they all have to stay inside,

so they don't spread the disease

to the normal people of Swellview.

- Well--well, what about you?

- Haha! Don't worry about me.

Old Uncle Ray's indestructible, which means...

can't get sick. [ coughs ]

- AHHHHHH!!!

- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Wh-wh-wha...

- It all just kinda happened.

I wanted an after-school job.

But then, an indestructible superhero

hired me to be his sidekick.

- Ah!

- Now we blow bubbles...

and fight crime. Feels good.

[ theme music ]

- Call it. - Up the tube!

- Aw, my boot! - Ha!

[ all coughing and groaning ]

- Oh, will you stop itchin' and moanin'?

- Yeah, we're just as sick as you.

- But you don't understand!

My head! Like...

Awww it like...aches!

- Okay,that's called "a headache."

- Well I don't like it!

Ow!

- Okay. How's everyone doing?

- How are we doing?

- Look at our fingers.

- D'aaaahh!

Ehhh... Nothing to worry about.

- I don't get this! I'm indestructible!

How's your freakish disease making me sick?!?

- I guess I'm just really good

at creating freakish diseases.

- So you're positive we're not gonna die?

- Of course!

Well at least not until

all of your fingers and thumbs turn green.

- WHAT?!? - THEN WE DIE?!?

- Look, you all just go inside

so I can get back to working on the cure.

- Wait but what if Henry's parents try to leave the house?

- Don't worry...

I brought Bork to guard the door.

- Oh hey. - Heya Bork.

- [ Bort grunts ]

- Bork, come help me outta here!

- AHHHH!!!

Thanks.

- [ Bork grunts ]

- Hey...

- Hi Henry. - Hello.

- Oh my gosh, is Charlotte sick too?

- Yeah. - So's my boss.

- That's right but...

But I'm not too sick to notice a pretty li--

[ coughing ]

I need my pills.

Give me my pi-- Awww, come on!

- Ah! Look honey...

their fingers are turning green too!

- Yeah, well...

That's why I'm takin' us all to the doctor.

- You can't! - Uh, actually you can't...

- Mom, Dad, Piper... this is uh...

- My name is Doctor Schwarmalensen.

- Yeah, that. He's from the uh...

- The Swellview County Health Department.

- That's right.

I'm sorry but you must all be quarantined.

- Quarantined?!? - Yes.

You see, little girl...

when people get upset tum-tums, sometimes they have--

- Will you quit talking to me like I'm an idiot?

- It just means that we have to stay here,

in this house, until he says we're cured.

- Uh, yes, that's right, uh...

- Okay, sorry Doctor Schwankelsen,

but I'm not going to the doctor,

and I don't want to sit in this stupid house all day.

- Piper... - I'm going to Glozella!

- No! No no... - Please don't.

- [ growls ]

- I've decided to stay here.

- [ growling ]

- Okay, I don't mean any disrespect,

but I just don't see why we can't go see our own doctor.

- No!

If you come into contact with the public,

you could infect every person in Swellview.

- Yeah mom, we're contagious,

we can't risk infecting other people.

- Hey...

uh, where did that bratty little girl go?

- Piper went out the back!

- We gotta stop her!

- Piper!

- Hey! Quit it!

Put me down you...

you large man!

- Yes...

I think you will all find escape quite impossible.

See you soon!

- [ giggling ]

Hey Schwoz, I don't understand what's going on.

- Yeah, I know that.

- Well...can you explain what you're doing to me?

- Okay.

I'm examining you, so I can find out why

you didn't get sick,

and that way I can cure the other peoples.

- Oh okay, now I get it.

- Yeah, 'cuz I dumbed it down for you.

Now...I need to take a tiny bit of your blood,

so I can examine it.

- Well, okay.

- Now, this might hurt just a lot.

- What do you mean by just a lo--

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

- Did you feel that?

- Yeah I felt it!

- Good.

Now, I will take a little bit of your blood.

- Wait, wait, wait.

[ machine beeps ] - There!

One gallon of your blood.

And now...

- Wh... what are you doin' now?

- I'm putting some of your blood

into this plasmiotic fluid...

and if it's flammable...

we have our cure.

Flambé! It works!

- So now you can make a cure for Henry and everybody?

- Well... With one gallon of your blood...

I can make enough cure...

for two peoples.

- But we need to cure six peoples.

- Yeah, I'm gonna need a lot more of your blood.

- But, you already took a whole gallon!

I-I don't think my body has much more blood to give!

- Hey, who's the doctor here?

- No one!

- True.

Here, eat this raw meat.

[ coughing and groaning ]

- Oh god, everything hurts...

[ screaming and crying ]

I'm so sick!

- Ah!

Ah!

Char... Charlotte...

Hey...Charlotte...

look at my fingers.

- AHHHHHHH!!!

- Ahhh!!!

- Ahhhhh... uhhhhh...

- Ya! Go for Schwoz!

- Hello? - Hi Henry!

I'm almost ready with the cure.

I just need a little more blood from Jasper.

- Nooooo...

I'm outta blood!

- Just... please hurry...

- What? Did you drop your phone?

Did your screen break?!?

D'ahhh!

Oh...

Okay Jasper...

- What now?

- I just need a little bit more of your blood.

- But I don't think there's any more blood

in me that I can spare!

- Sure there is.

- Wh-what are you doing?!?

- Squeezing you. To get more blood to come out.

- What?!?

- C'mon... give it up...

- No...NO! - C'mon...

- Ahhh!

- Don't be shy.

- Ahhh! Schwoz!

- Ray... Ray...

- Ray...Ray...

Listen...

You can't, you can't eat that.

You're too sick.

- But I'm so hungry. I gotta eat something.

Hey...

Hey what's wrong with my mouth?

What's wrong with my mouth?

- Listen... Hey buddy listen...

listen...listen...

Schwoz told me...

that one of the final symptoms of his disease...

is lockjaw.

- Lockjaw?!?

- No...Lockjaw.

I said lockjaw! That's what I said.

- Oh yeah yeah yeah...

that's why you can't open your mouth.

- Ah! But I'm so hungry!

- Well you can't eat if you can't open your mouth, man.

- Yes I can! I can!

I'm special...

Ahhh!!!

[ crying ]

I just want the chicken...

I just want the chicken...

- Come in... - Come in.

[ all coughing and moaning ]

- Hello, how's everyone doing?

[ moans ]

Great!

Now look, everyone!

I brought the cure!

- Ooh! - Huh?

See, it's right he--

- Ahhh! - D'ahhhhh!!!

Oh my god!!! The cure is ruined!

- I gotta have it...

- Hahahahahahaha...

Stop that...I was kidding!

- What the butt?!?

- Hahahahahha!

I got you all so good! Ha!

See? Here's the real cure!!!

Yah yah, drink it down

and your disease will go bye bye.

- Ah! - Yuck! Ah!

- Now...now what happens?

- Well, uh now you might all start experiencing

a bit of shaking and/or twitching.

But it could take a few minutes before...

Ah, there it goes.

- Did...did it work?

- My fingers!

They're... they're greenless!

- Ha! I can move my jaw again.

Hahaha oh man... How you feelin'?

- I... I think I'm okay.

- Yeah... I'm okay too.

- Didn't ask you.

- Oh stop...

- Okay... Mom or Dad,

which one of you is gonna drive me to Glozella?

- Ulch! After what we've all just been through?

- Are you batty?

- We are not driving you to Glozella.

- Fine. Then I'll drive myself.

- No wait! - C'mon!

- Piper!!! - Piper!

- You are not driving my car!!!

- You are too young to drive!!!

- You don't even know how to drive!!!

- Whew. Crazy day, right?

- Hey, let's go talk outside.

- No, I don't want to. - Yeah c'mon.

- Aww let's just go outside.

- It'll be fine. - Come on.

- I think you are all very mad at me...

- No, no... - No. We're not mad.

- I-I don't feel good about this...

- Bork, little help?

- Hey, why are you...

No! This makes me uncomfortable!

Ayeee!

- Whoops.

- I need to put on my safety belt!

- Ahhhh! Stop this crazy thing!

[ car brakes screech ] [ crash ]

- I'm okay!

[ oven bell ] - Mmm.