01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Everyone, please remain calm. I've got to

see the Amanda Show. I'm Amanda's biggest

fan. I came out away from Switzerland in

this corn chowder.

Can't get back in line, Sir. Apparently

you don't realize who I am. Please, my

name is Penelope Tate. I just

happened to be Amanda's number one fan.

Please. Yeah, everybody's her

#1 fan.

Does everybody have a man, his face

tattooed on their abdomen? Huh.

Which is the back of a mind, But I'm a

man, his biggest fan. I have my own

Amanda website.

Yeah. Please.

Where's Amanda? The Amanda Show will

begin momentarily.

You gotta fly towards Nickelodeon. Please

hurry, I've got a show to do.

Nickelodeon. Are you one of them

Rugrats?No,

I'm Amanda. Amanda Bynes.

I wish you were one of them Rugrats.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi.

I'm one of the regular cast members on

Amanda Show. My name is Johnny

Kasir. You ain't Amanda.

Hey, there's a stage down there. You

better land. Hello. Hey, hey,

what's your deal?

I'm sorry I took a lot of

cough medicine this morning.

Oh yeah, that stuff will knock you

loopy.

Oh well.

Listen, I realize that I'm not Amanda,

but I don't think it's necessary to.

Sorry. Hey, it's Amanda.

Welcome to my show.

These are funnies. Boring.

Sign that door. Bye bye.

Hey. Like

one minute picnic.

Give me.

Camera time.

Hey, names. Love

you.

Take them all out.

Let's

go. I am

so excited to be doing the show because

I'm working with some really cool people.

It's like a dream come true because on a

regular show you never What's that

noise?Hello

Hello people. I can help me change Amanda

's number one fan please. I have my own

Amanda website www. amanda

please. com. Who are you please? I'm

Nancy. I'm not familiar with you. I'm

really the actors on the show. You're

wasting my life. Where's man? Please.

She's doing the show

and everyone here on the show really

makes me feel at home. The only thing

missing is my room. She misses a room and

they had to watch her room. Didn't be

able to stand there with a man that has

not fulfilled desire. I'll be back.

Please. Hey yo,

Amanda, since you're the star of the

show, do you think you can have a pizza

delivered in under 30 seconds by two of

your favorite TV stars?Get

me a banana nut muffin. OK, now come on.

There is no way that I could get a.

We brought you pizza.

We brought you some flowers.

Thank you. Oh, and here's your muffin

dog.

I love you, man.

We just came to wish you good luck on

your show tonight. Thank you. Yeah, Break

a leg. Thanks.

How many

times has this happened to you?

Well, never again, because now there's

the pedestrian airbag.

The pedestrian airbag works for

rollerblades.

It works for nerds.

Sorta The pedestrian airbag even works on

disgusting boys. Can I kiss your face?

Well.

She's OK.

The pedestrian airbag from the makers of

the inflatable friend.

Get one.

This is the courtroom of Judge Trudy.

When you've got a beef, don't take the

law into your own hands. Put your beef in

the hands of Judge Trudy. OK,

All right.

Sit down. I am Judge Trudy now.

Excuse me? You're the judge.

You have a complaint

against Principal Thorn? He

made me stay after school.

Hey Trudy, these kids are throwing

garbage at me. Sir, I cannot be

responsible if you choose to stand in the

way of their flying garbage.

Silence. Hers. Please. Tell me,

why should Yapenheimer over here kept you

after school? Well, you see, we're

studying our flotation in science class,

and I wanted to do an experiment. He

pushed my car into the swimming pool.

Hold you in contempt of court. What does

that mean? It means to shut your

face on this. Continue.

Well, I just wanted to see if his car

would float. It was a brand new car. No,

it's wet and I hate moisture. I just

don't see what I did wrong. You

snuck out of study hall. You went to the

faculty parking lot and pushed my car

into the swimming pool. That's ESAI.

Saw him do it. That's sausage. I

object. Approach the bench.

Yes, put your hand in this drawer. Why

put it?

Objection on the rule. Now go back to

your thing, Judge Judy. I only did it for

science. Perfectly reasonable. There's

nothing reasonable about a moist sport

utility vehicle. It was practically

homework punishment in principle. You

have tastic impose on you for doing your

homework. He made me stay after school.

What kind of monster are you?

Look, we can butt hay all day, but you're

still going to lose.

$85,000

what, 85? I don't have

$85,000. Well then you're going in

a leopard cage. Leopard cage.

I'm allergic to cat hair. Come on, this

is a joke, right? You can't get serious.

I'm uncomfortable.

The litigants for our next case are

entering the courtroom. See them.

That's it. Okay. What's your

complaint? While I was playing baseball

in the house and I broke the TV, 2

bases, and the dog. And what did your

parents do about this? We merely asked

her to please not do that again.

Wait a second. Shutting.

Dismissed, bringing the dancing lobsters.

TuneIn next week for more of Judge

Trudy.

And so, children, George Washington

led the revolution, largely

because he loved basketball.

And men named Arthur.

Pay attention or I will send you to

the principal's office

now. George

Washington had both wooden teeth and

formidable leadership skill.

Can't take it, can't take it anymore.

Let her stop. Why must she speak?

I know what to do.

Are

you?

Little. Get the

sheep here, sheep.

I did things.

If only it were real.

Cut residents. Oh, hi Stephanie.

Yeah, I'm watching it. This is the one

where she gets hit with the football and

it breaks her nose. Oh, my

nose. I love

it.

Not a problem. 70 weeks don't go away.

Get out.

Hi sweetie, I'm home from thesupermarket.

Not a problem. Katie, could you help me

with these groceries? Sure, mom.

Who is your father? Home? Yeah, he's

upstairs. Carl. Hi,

honey. I didn't know you were.

Not a problem.

Hey Pickles, these look

tasty.

Not a problem dad. See she bought 2 jars.

Not a problem.

Honey, I bought that new chair. It's in

the hallway by the elevator, back in a

flash.

Not a problem. Oh, hi puppy.

Not a problem. Help me shut the table,

will you? Oh, sure, mom.

There we go. Got the chair, honey? Coming

through.

Not a problem.

Light bulb b*rned out. Oh, your brother

can change it, Carter. Coming,

mom.

Not a problem What you need, son? Could

you change that light bulb there? Sure,

dad.

This is me.

Not a problem. Hey,

let's go out for dinner. Excellent idea,

honey. You know, we could go out or stay

in or whatever as long as we the Klutzes

are together as a family group

hug.

Not a problem.

Let's go.

Hey Katie, show me those car keys, would

you?

Not a problem.

There it is on the ledge. Hold my feet,

will your family. OK.

Little lower, little lower,

little lower. Almost

got it. Almost little

lower got them.

Not a problem.

Young Master Blake, are we dining

alone this evening? No, I have a

date. A first

date? Why, yes.

Ah, there she is now.

She's as pretty as a tissue.

Wonderful to see you again, Cynthia. Why,

thank you. 2 Ginger ale

's on the rocks please. Right away, Sir.

Thank you. Oh, I'm excited.

So how was your day? Oh lovely. I

had a ballet recital and then I bought a

Mozart CD. Mozart.

Here I am for the lady.

And for the gentleman, lovely. Thank you,

I'm away.

Wonderful.

So what is your favorite piece by Mozart?

That's difficult to say.

My goodness, I'm itchy.

Beethoven. It's just

quite persistent. Maybe are your fork my

fork?

Much better. Thanks.

The chef has prepared a special appetizer

for you, Pork puffs. Sniff

them, I go.

Wow, I've had some good pork puffs

before. We get your pork here.

Yes, that's that's quite a lot of pork.

Oh.

OK, you should leave back like that.

Yes, you don't want to hurt your precious

button. Yes, my

mistake. So you mentioned the

ballet. Have you been dancing long? Long.

I'll say. Look at these calluses. This one

's the size of a doorknob. Yes, that one

is quite bulbous.

You should have it removed these

myself I have a portable calisander.

All for this house right off.

Here we are. Spaghetti with clams

and other fancy items one might find in

sausage. Thank you.

This certainly looks yummy, doesn't it

though?

You might have to go to the bathroom.

No, go. Go right ahead. Thank you.

I thought you were going to the bathroom.

I am.

How rude.

It's time for a poem by

Mother Caboose.

There once was a girl named Katie Beth

Sue with hair of gold and dies

of blue. She put flowers

by day, fit the hungry at night. She

was thoughtful and kind and did

everything right. She

lived by the shore in a quaint little Hut

with a smile on her face and a sore on

her butt.

Her nose was enormous, Her ears were

humongous. She had the Owen back

breath and underarm fungus.

Through the face of a dog in the mouth of

a pig. Her pants were too small and her

bra was too big.

She wear glasses so large they had

windshield wipers, and under her dresses

were fluffy white diapers.

She was mean and obnoxious and always

quite rude. She went to her junior high

dance in the nude.

Since she never wore shoes, she had many

a blister. People would ask her, what's

wrong with you, sister?

Cheese are so yellow.

Her teeth are.

We don't have a lot of time left, but

before we go, does anybody want to see a

little more entertainment?

I'll tell you what, I'll

choose some people from the audience.

They can pick whatever they want to see,

OK?

I want to see you name all 50 states

backwards while punching an

astronaut.

Excuse me, please. I'm Philippe. Change

Amandae #1 fan, please. I need to see

Amanda. She's like, busy. She's doing

the show.

Hey, can we help? You know, we're part of

the cast, too. That doesn't interest me.

Please. I'm a fan of Amanda. I've got to

see her. She misses her room, so I

brought it. Follow my body.

You built an exact replica of Amanda's

room. No, that's your actual room,please.

I went to her house, got it and brought

it here. How do you just saw?

Just take this. I had my own Amanda

website. You know, I'll show you on a man

's actual computer. Watch this.

OK www. amandaplease. com.

Here's the homepage. See Amanda, please.

That's Amanda's head. Now you click on my

face to find out about me. Penelope. See.

Here's me. And here's a picture of Amanda

that I stole. Here you can see Amanda's

actual chewing gum. I got it out of Amanda

's garbage. So what do you guys think of

my website? Come with us.

Biggest fan Her face is tattooed on my

belly and I remember Amanda Website www

. amandaplease. com

Wait.

Arizona,

Alaska, Alabama.

Amanda, please. I.