02x16 - Undead Red/Klaus of the Rising Sun

[bunniefuu]

[Thunder crashing]

♪

[Screaming]

♪

Welcome, Mrs. Femur.

Let me just pull up
your reservation.

Ah, it's good to be back
at Hotel Transylvania.

[Screaming]

Undead Red!

Are you okay?

Not you.

Mavis, take care of this mess.

What is Undead Red?

Don't say its name again.

I've said too much.

There's a mysterious beast
at the hotel?

I mean, look around.

This place is lousy with them.

What I mean is
we need to figure out

who this Undead Red creature is.

Ooh, a mystery romp. I love it.

Undead Red?

That urban legend
about some spooky monster

that you could summon?

Sounds like fake scares

if you ask me.

No. You can't eat that.

Now, please.
This is a delicate operation.

Do you mind? That's my lunch.

It's like he didn't want to
talk about it.

Curious.

Undead Red?

Ha.

That is just a story
mothers tell their children

to make them forget about
the smelly rats

living under their beds.

[Squeaking]

Ah, not you, of course, mon ami.

Undead Red?

All I've ever heard about is,
uh, she has a sultry voice.

[Gasping] She?

So, it's a her. Of course.

Maybe, but who can be sure?

It's just a myth monsters
made up for fun

before they invented
video games.

Uh‐uh‐uh. Hands off. Hey!

Argh!

We are getting nowhere.

Nobody thinks Undead Red
is real.

But that skeleton was definitely
afraid of something.

We're going to have to do
some deeper research.

And I know just the place.

Yum.

Hey, I do my best research
on a full stomach.

Now to the library.

They have the best snack bar.

Ugh.

We've been searching through
these archives

for hours,
but there's nothing here.

Wait.
This old issue of Brew Ha‐Ha

has a story about Undead Red
in its gossip column.

What? Let me see that.

"Undead Red was spotted
in the Village,

crashing human parties."

But how come
there's no pics anywhere?

PEDRO:
Whoa. So, she's an invisible?

But then how'd
the skeleton see her?

Unless "red"
as in red, fiery hair.

[Screaming]

[Growling]

And she wouldn't show up
in the picture

if she's a vampire.
We solved the mystery!

Undead Red. What?

Undead Red. Who?

Undead Red.

Uncle Gene? Why are you here?

Because somebody called
"Undead Red."

Yeah, we know. Her.

Nope.

I'm Undead Red.

You called three times.

That's how I appear.

Really?

Thanks a lot.

So, that tourist earlier
saw you?

You missed a spot.

[Screaming] Undead Red!

Oh. That was a twist.

So, what is Undead Red, anyway?

[Sighing]

Undead Red was a ghost story.

When human children called
his name three times in a row,

he'd appear,
and he would have to scare them

in order to be released.

I thought it'd be
a fun summer job.

Undead Red. Undead Red.
Undead Red.

[Screaming]

I just didn't know I signed on
for an afterlife‐long career.

Always got to read
the fine print.

The humans had their fun
for centuries.

But then, like everything else,

they got bored

and moved on to the
newest craze: Scary Berry.

[Barking]

Ooh, yeah. Berry is scary.

Pfft. Hardly.

And so, lucky for me,

Undead Red was retired forever.

Until now.

I can't believe you're
the legendary Undead Red

that we only heard of
for the first time today.

I'm glad everyone
forgot about him,

or it would really cut into
my video game time.

Speaking of which, I've got
high scores to b*at.

Wait. Don't you have to
scare Mavis first?

[Mockingly] Yeah.
Don't you have to scare me?

No. I only have to scare humans.

When monsters do it,

it just summons me
and wastes my time.

So, don't do it.

Undead Red, Undead Red,
Undead Red.

Huh?

[Laughing] I'm sorry.
I just wanted to try it out.

[Giggling]

Yeah, yeah. Very funny.

Undead Red. Undead Red.
Undead Red.

[Laughing] Last time. I promise.

[Giggling]

[Growling]

Uh, too much.
Got it. We better go.

We're sorry about exposing you,
Uncle Gene.

Even if we didn't know
we were doing it.

It's okay.

It's annoying that your aunt
Lydia knows about Undead Red

and can summon me at any moment.

But at least the humans
have no idea,

or I'd really be in for it.

So, we maybe, sort of,
kind of took a shortcut

to postering the Dark Forest
with flyers

asking about Undead Red?

Fire!

Where?

Oh.

Return with the answer, flyers.

Uh, we really wanted
to fire a cannon.

Don't worry, Uncle Gene.
They have terrible aim.

There's zero chance
one found its way to a human.

[Giggling]

Ugh.

Who is Undead Red?

Hmm. Undead Red.

Undead Red. Undead Red.
Undead Red.

[Gasping] Your first words!

Yay!

[Screaming] I can't believe it!

I've been summoned by a human.

[Screaming]

Boo!

Yep. I still got it.

Huh? What gives?

Why am I still here?

I scared the human
who called me.

I should be back in my room
playing video games by now.

Those are the rules!

Ugh.

Hey, what's up? [Screaming]

This has never happened before.

[Giggling]

There he is, Mavis.
We found him.

Uncle Gene? Come on.

You can't hang out
at a human home. Let's go.

I really want to.
I scared the human.

Aah! Ugh.

But I haven't been released,
which means I can't leave.

For real. Watch this.

See?

Why didn't your scare work?

Undead Red. [Giggling]

[Gasping]
Donald didn't call you.

Nose Picker did.
You have to scare her.

Oh, okay.

Just have to scare
a little girl. No biggie.

[Cracking knuckles]

Boo!

[Giggling]

Boo. [Laughing]

How about a loud noise?
That's kind of scary, right?

Hmm. A loud noise.
Sure, it's a cheap scare,

but I'll take it
however I can get it.

[Lids clattering]

[Giggling]

Bla‐bla‐ooh‐ah!

Ah, that didn't work either.

Might be time to kick it
old‐school.

Bla‐bla‐ooh‐ah!

[Laughing]

[Belching]

[Laughing]

Okay. Okay, so much for that.

It's time to do something

I haven't done
in a long, long time.

Uh, brush his fangs?
Can't happen soon enough.

Shh.

I haven't used my scary face
in centuries,

but these are
dire circumstances.

I hate to do it to a little kid,
but it's got to be done.

I'm sorry in advance, kiddo.

Argh!

Ah. Just a little rusty.

Maybe it goes like this.

Or like this.

[Giggling]

[Roaring]

[Growling]

[Roaring]

[Growling]

Aah! Okay, this isn't working.

Wee‐wee wee‐wee!

If I can't scare her,
I'm going to get stuck

haunting this tacky house
for the rest of my afterlife.

I don't even have
the WiFi password.

Oh, this is bad.
Uncle Gene is too lovable now.

He'll never get scary enough
to frighten her.

Ah, so tragic.

How will he exercise
his gaming thumbs?

[Gasping] Wait.

Gaming! That's it.

I think I know how
to make him scary.

Uncle Gene, maybe Hank and Pedro
can help.

They're always good
for two or three bad ideas.

Oh, but wait.

Oh, no. They're too busy

playing with your video games.

UNCLE GENE: What?

They are? Oh, yeah.

Since you're not there,
no one can stop them

from playing
all your saved games.

My s‐s‐‐
My s‐s‐s‐‐ My saved games?

Yeah,

and breaking
all your high scores.

No!

Not my high scores.

[Crying]

Yes! It worked.

I just hope for their sake,
Pedro and Hank

aren't really playing his games.

I can't believe we're really
playing his games.

Don't worry. He'll never know.

[Screaming]

No. Don't be afraid.

Watch this. [Chuckling]

[Giggling]

LYDIA:
Undead Red, Undead Red,
Undead Red.

Who did‐‐

[Chuckling]

[Shrieking]

Pretty sure she'll never summon

Undead Read again after that.

[Chuckling]

You know, kid, we make
a pretty good team, huh?

[Growling] Boo.

Oh, that's terrifying.
That's very good.

That's way up there.
You got it. It's okay.

[Cackling]

Hi. This is my song.

It's called "Klaus is Undeniably
Everyone's Favorite."

It's got a great b*at. Mmm.

Break it down
with your bad self.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Klaus is darkness monster‐fied
his moves are all justified ♪

♪ And for dessert,
I'll have just the pie ♪

♪ Can you dig it I can dig it ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

[Beatboxing]

♪ Booty‐shaking
till the next century ♪

♪ Mmm, oh, yeah, Klaus ♪

[Screaming]

[Stuttering]

It tickles.

Incoming.

Ow. Come back, foot.

Take this thing away
before someone gets hurt. Oof!

Oh, dear.

I got it. I got it. I got it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Mavis, we have had
several guest complaints

regarding the random bouts
of chaos

that have been happening
in the lobby recently.

What?

[Roaring]

[Objects clattering]

[Beatboxing]

Aunt Lydia, I've got everything
under control.

Ow! Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

KLAUS: Hello!

[Screaming]

[Clearing throat] Chaos.

Oh, no, no, no.

I am not being blamed for this.

Klaus knocked me down.
This is Klaus's chaos.

Klaus is the only reason
you are alive.

He saved your afterlife.

[Gasping]

Because sunlight
can k*ll vampires?

Yeah, dude.
We all know how it works.

Ho‐ly rabies.

Holy rabies, indeed.

[Clucking]

Klaus is a hero?

Oh, I like the sound of that.

[Humming]

Klaus just saved
Mavis's afterlife.

[Gasping]

I saw it with my own eyes.

I yelled, "Klaus, do something!"

That's when he leaped
through the air,

risking his own life
to save Mavis.

They'll be singing songs about
Klaus's bravery for years.

That's right. The Klaus,
who saved Dracula's daughter,

is actually staying here
at Hotel Transylvania.

Kind of a big deal.

Ugh!

Of all the monsters
that could've saved me,

it had to be Klaus.

Maybe he won't let it
go to his head.

KLAUS: Hello!

The only monster who ever
mattered is here, finally.

You're welcome.

Oh!

Can you sign this, please?

Yes, of course.
Anything for a fan.

Someone tell me how it looks.

All right! I'm pretty great.

Let's hear it for me, Klaus.

When I say "Klau," you say "Sh."

Klau. Sh.

Klau. Sh.

I could do this forever.

Oh, please don't.

Hey, Mavis?
Your dad wants to talk to you.

Hi, Dad.

Ah, Mavy.

I, uh‐‐ Actually,
I wanted to talk to, uh, Klaus.

What? Klaus? Why?

He's a hero now.

The whole Vampire Council is
talking about how he bravely

ventured into the deadly,
burning sunlight to save you.

Yeah. That's not exactly
how it happened. You see‐‐

There's the vamp of the hour.

Klaus, the vampire hero.

Hey, Uncle Drac,
fellow vampire hero.

Oh, you.

Oh, me.

Oh, blech.

Uh‐oh. What happened now?

What's this line even for?

Are you serious?

This is the lineup
to high‐five the hand

that saved Mavis Dracula.

And you two are in it?

We're selling
official Klaus merch.

Klaus saved Dracula's daughter.
It only makes sense

to put his likeness
on lunch boxes and underwear.

Not cool, you guys.

Hey.

If you saved yourself, we'd have
your face on a lunch box, too.

[Blowing raspberry]

[Groaning]

Whoa. Okay.

I feel like we've crossed
a line at some point here.

Let Great Uncle Gene throw out

the first high‐five of the day.

Ow!
Why would you hit me like that?

The agony.

You can't treat a hero
like this.

I need medical assistance. Ow!

Now, this is more like it.

Ooh. Ah.

I'm never washing
this hand again.

Um, but aren't you a doctor?

You're right.

I guess I'm never washing
my feet again, either.

How can all these monsters

possibly think Klaus is a hero?

He's Klaus! He's a coward.

He's afraid of his own shadow.

Yeah, but to be fair,
his shadow hates him.

[Blowing raspberry]

Of course it does. He's Klaus.

All right. Own up.

What gives with saving me?

What?
I saved you fair and square.

I don't buy it.

If anything, you owe me.

You should
consider yourself lucky

that I don't need a favor
from you.

I know you didn't mean
to save me.

Good luck proving that.

It's not like there's some magic
room in the hotel with screens

that show you what happened at
the precise time and location.

I'm describing the security
crystal balls, aren't I?

[Groaning]

[Screaming]

See? Klaus wasn't even
paying attention.

He was dancing,
if you can even call it that.

Watch. His back is to me.
He doesn't see.

This proves Klaus is a fraud.

Eh, I've been called worse.

Klaus, I am ashamed you're even
related to the Dracula family.

That really was
some terrible dancing.

Ouch. Now, that one
stung a little.

See? He was just dancing.

[Crying]

He's a fraud.

He didn't even know
she was there.

He's just a bad dancer.

He didn't mean to save Mavis.

Klaus lied,
if you can believe it.

So, you weren't here

for the centaur extension?

No, but I kind of like it.

[Tom‐tom hit and cymbal crash
sounding]

[Groaning]

Hi, Dad. I‐‐

No. Sorry, Mavy. Sorry.

I once again want to talk
to Klaus‐‐

Oh.

I want to tell him
how disappointed I am.

In that case, be right bat.

So long, merch.

Are monsters still waiting
in line for high‐fives?

Nope.

Your dad is making Klaus return
every high‐five he got.

Meh. Oh.

Ugh! Ow.

[Sighing]
Where's Cardboard Klaus?

I sure could use a friend
right now.

Klaus really got what was
coming to him this time.

Yep, he sure did.

I mean, he did save your life
from that beam of light and all,

but yeah.

Huh.

That's true, isn't it?

Him not caring about anything
but himself saved the day.

He was just Klaus being Klaus.

What do I do?

Apologize, or thank him.
Oh! You could do both.

Apolo‐thank time.

[Panting] Where's Klaus?

Don't know.

I was here trying to get him
to pay us back

for all that useless merch,
but then he had to

"go out for a walk and rest
his hand."

Out for a walk?
But it's almost sunrise.

He could get b*rned.

[Panting]

Klaus?

Uh, Klaus,
this is hard for me to say,

but I'm sorry I was mean to you.

And thank you
for saving my afterlife,

whether you meant to or not.

This is confusing.

Who's apologizing to who?

It's an apolo‐thank, actually.

KLAUS:
Oh, I love a good apolo‐thank.

What's going on?

If Klaus is here,
who's out there?

[Gasping] What?

You're Cardboard Klaus?

Holy rabies.

I'm about to get caught outside
in daylight.

Wow. It's getting hot out here.

Ow, ow, ow!

Ouch.

Did I just see
what I think I saw?

Klaus, you saved me. Again.

You really are a hero.

I did?

I was just grabbing
Cardboard Klaus.

It's my only copy, and
probably my best friend.

This is your moment.
You earned it.

Cardboard Klaus just saved
both of your afterlives.

PEDRO: Oh, no.

Our merch.

It's still good.

I say "card," you say "board."

Card. Board.

Card. Board.

Card. Board.

Card. Board.

Sorry, Mavy.

I'd love to catch up,
but I kind of want

to talk to the Cardboard Klaus.
You know, the hero?

[Groaning]

I can't believe I'm meeting
the Cardboard Klaus.

So exciting!

MAVIS: Argh!