03x05 - The Play's the Thing

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Redwall". Aired: September 8, 1999 – February 25, 2002.*
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Follows a young mouse named Matthias who lives at Redwall Abbey.
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03x05 - The Play's the Thing

Post by bunniefuu »



(Crashing)

(Shouting)



(Laughing evilly)





Does any of this look

familiar to you, Pallum?

I’m afraid not.

The pygmy shrews blindfolded me

when I was taken prisoner.

We’re bound to find some

landmarks that lead to Noonvale.

I don’t know about that

there, missy.

I’s a-fearing that these old

eyes will never be seeing their

home again.

That’s enough, Grumm.

As long as we stay true to our

quest, someone or something will

help us.

I be hopin’ you right,

Martin.

MARTINCome on, let’s get

moving.





Is we really making peace

with Badrang?

Of course not, you

half-witted fleabag!

But we’ll let him think it until

our ship be a-floated again!

Then what?

Then--

I’ll make that snivelling sea

stoat curse the day he ever laid

eyes on Captain Tramun

Cuttlefish Clogg.

BADRANGSo, Druwp, you’ve

been helpful to us, eh?

So, it seems a reward is in

order.

Eat.

Eat!

My little friend.

While you’re eating, tell me if

I’ve got this straight.

You know the prisoners escaped

from the prison pit--

but not how they did it.

(Gulping)

Yes, that’s right, sir.

I see.

And you know the ringleaders

have buried weapons-- but you

don’t know what their plans are.

Yes, sir.

Absolutely, that’s it.

BADRANGIf that’s all the

information you’ve got, I’d say

you just ate your last meal.

Weapons-- I know where the

weapons are buried.

Very good, Druwp.

That’s what I want.

From now on, you’ll be my spy

among the slaves.

Now, eat, drink, and be easy.

(Gulping)

Come on, look lively.

All of you!

What’s going on, Barkjon?

I don’t know.

Silence!



BADRANGWhy are you looking

so worried?

What do you want of us?

Hillgorse, is that your name?

That’s-- that’s what they

call me.

I thought so.

And which one of you is

Barkjon?

I am Barkjon.

And Keyla?

Now, where would Keyla be?

That’s me.

An otter, eh?

Good.

Then you can tell me which one

of these other otters is named

Tullgrew.

Uh, Tullgrew?

I’m Tullgrew.



(Gasping)


Start digging.

Something wrong?

Any reason she shouldn’t be

digging here?

Dig!

(Grunting)

(Panting)

Gurrad, Hisk, throw that otter

out of the hole and take over.



(Grunting)

BARKJONWhat happened?

Get out of it, you fools!

Can’t you see there’s nothing

there?

(Grunting)

(Yelling)

(Laughing)

You think this is funny?

Double workloads tomorrow.

I don’t understand.

What happened to the weapons?

Yes, I wonder where they

went.

Oh, it was you.

You moved them.

Why?

Remember when Tullgrew buried

the weapons we’d stolen?

Well, I saw Druwp watching her.

So, when everyone was asleep, I

re-buried them.

But where?

Right where Badrang was

standing.

(Chuckling)

(Gulping)

(Belching)

No one makes a fool of me!

You made a fool of me, Druwp.

No!

Mercy.

For now, you keep spying for

me.

For now.

But understand one thing.

Yes, sir.

BADRANGMake a fool of me

again and you will regret it.

(Gulping)



We’ll have to be more careful

now.

At least we know the spy is

Druwp.

We must protect our weapons

so we can fight when Martin and

the others return for us.

If they return.

What do you mean?

Don’t tell the others, but

there are times I wonder if my

son Felldoh and Martin are still

alive.

They’d better be, Barkjon.

Without them we’ll all be lost.

ROSEMartin, maybe we should

stop for the night.

That’s a good idea.

I don’t know.

I’m not sure it’s safe to stop.

Wh-- wh-- what do you mean?

Nothing, Pallum.

Someone’s been following us

since early this morning.

I haven’t seen anyone.

Have you, Grumm?

Aye, missy.

I’s been a-hearin’ things.

But why didn’t you say

something?

He told me, Rose.

We didn’t want to frighten

everyone.

Really?

And what makes you think I would

have been frightened.

It wasn’t you I was worried

about.

(Bird screeching)

Something’s following us!

We’ve got to get out of here!

Pallum!

Stay together!

Oh, you stay if you want, but

I’m not staying for another--

(Screaming)

Pallum!

No!

(Panting)


Help!

Hold on, Pallum!

I’m-- I’m trying!

MARTINI can’t reach.

If’n we’s had a rope.

But we don’t, so here’s what

we’ll do.

Martin.

Can’t-- reach.

Lower.

Reach up, Pallum.

I’m trying.

Try harder.

The branch is breaking!

PALLUMNo!

MARTINGot you!

(Grunting)

(Panting)

Thank you, my friends.

Tweren’t nothin’.

It’s obviously too dangerous

to go on.

We’ll have to stay here for the

night.

C-- can we get a f-- fire

going?

I don’t think we should do

that.

Who knows what we would attract.

Ahoy there, Growch!

Be the Seascarab hauled out of

the sea yet?

Aye, Captain.

We done it.

(Laughing)

Tomorrow we’ll set them

slaves to rebuildin’ her!

BALLAWExcellent plan!

In the meantime, I don’t suppose

you could spare a nip of that

seaweed ale, Captain?

I’m positively parched!

Who’s this, then?

One of Badrang’s lot?

GROWCHCan’t recall seeing

him at the fort, Captain.

Shall I run him through for ye?

Yeah, all right.

I say!

Look at that!

(Unclear)

How do you do that, matey?

BALLAWCan’t tell you, old

top.

Me throat’s too parched for

words.

Then wet your whistle with

this here.

BALLAWMuch obliged, old

thing.

Waste of good ale, if’n you

ask me.

Ew!

(Groaning)

Well, I’ll be darned!

The drink’s gone and k*lled him,

boys!

(Ballaw groaning)

He ain’t dead.

(Coughing)



Cap’n Tramun Clogg.

Why, that must be your good

self, sir.

How d’you know me name?

Magic rabbits know, my good

fellow.

Here.

Bravo, matey!

What’s your name, then?

Tibbar.

Tibbar.

What sort of name’s that?

Why, it’s "rabbit" spelled

backwards, me old buck-a-doodle.

You’re a good ’un, Tibbar.

Give us a few more tricks.

Alas and alack, old matey

friend, I must go.

But we could return tomorrow and

put on a show.

When?

When?

When?!

Tomorrow eve in yonder

fortress.

If I have your promise that none

shall harm us.

You have me oath as a

corsair, matey.


BALLAWUntil tomorrow night,

then, sweet Clogg-o.

(Gasping)

GROWCHThink he’ll be back,

Captain?

Why, of course, he will!

Tibbar’s me matey!

Did you hear what he called me?

"Sweet Clogg-o."

Ain’t that handsome?

(Murmuring)

(Laughing)

Look out, every beast.

It’s Tibbar the magic rabbit

fresh from his corsair debut.

Magic rabbit yourself, you

old stripehound.

How went the wheeze, Ballaw?

BALLAWAbsolutely flawless.

We perform tomorrow night at

Fortress Marshank.

We’ll rescue my father yet!

Ballaw, you deserve three hearty

cheers!

Three cheers?

I’d rather have three hearty

suppers and something to wash

away the taste of that awful

pirate’s ale.

We’d best begin our

rehearsals.

Indeed, we must be flawless.

Felldoh’s father, Barkjon, and

the others’ lives hang in the

balance.

Not to mention our own.

(Stomach growling)

’Scuse I.

My poor tummy’s thinking my

mouth’s forgotten how to eat.

Oh, what I wouldn’t give for

an oatmeal scone spread with

honey, right now.

Yes.

Where in the name of apples

and acorns did that come from?

(Sniffing)

It’s still warm.

And spreaded with honey, just

like youse asked.

Oy, can I have one, too?

Go on, Martin.

Your turn.

Yes.

I’d like a scone with honey.

And maybe some strawberry

cordial to wash it down.

WOMANYou can have the

scone, my dears, but I ain’t

throwin’ my good beakers about.

I be knowin’ that speak.

’Tis a mole like I.

WOMANOh, I ain’t nothin’

like you.

I be just like I, Polleekin.

You’re the one who’s been

following us.

I ain’t be sure if you be

nasty beasts, but since how you

like me scones, I be thinking

you good folks.

Thank you for your kindness,

Polleekin.

I ’spect you could eat more

’an scones.

And some wine drinks, too.

Younguns are always hungry.

Come on, then.

Come with I.



(Chuckling)

A mole living up in a tree?

Who would have thought it?

(Chewing)

They creatures you been

a-lookin’ for ain’t pass

this-a-ways.

I hope they’re safe and well,

Polleekin.

Oh, them’s safe enough and

all right.

For the moment, missy.

How do you know that?

I knows lots of things.

But I don’t know why I know some

of them.

I knew when we met you that

you were not ordinary.

Nor be ye.

I seen good, brave warriors in


my long seasons, but none like

you, Martin the Warrior.

So, come next dawn, you three

creatures be best travellin’

straight for Noonvale.

Stay away from ’ee vermin fort.

Bad fortune awaits ye in

Marshank if’n you return.

What sort of bad fortune,

Polleekin?

(Unclear), Martin.

’Tis not for I to say.

You told us to travel to

Noonvale, but we’re completely

lost.

Can you help us find our way

there?

POLLEEKINI’m no good at

marking and making writings,

Missy Rose.

You take this and mark as I say,

while I make up thy supplies.

Follow your front shadow, do not

stop until you reach the one

with dead three top.

See the twin paths, beware of

one sweet as the spreading atop

a scone.

Camp close by night, watch out

by day for the three-eyed one

who bars the way.

More you will not learn until

you meets the Warden of

Marshwood Hill.

What does it all mean,

Polleekin?



(Sighing)

That you best be getting some

sleeps in.

You’ll be needing all your wits

for them words to be getting ye

home.



(Birds chirping)

No sign of Polleekin?

She doesn’t want us to go.

I feel badly about leaving

her, too, but we must go.

Sing her a song as we leave,

Rose.

♪ Goodbye, our friend, and thank

you ♪

♪ It makes us sad to leave on

this summer day ♪

♪ We’re sure to see you

somehow ♪

♪ Next time we pass this way

♪ Goodbye, dear friend, and

thank you ♪

♪ Your kindness guides us on our

way ♪

Oh, poor younguns.

I’ll not see some of ye again.

There’s much sadness afore ye.

If’n only you knowed.



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