02x07 - Facente Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"...

Jo meets the facentes...

Goodness. Oh, my gosh!

A family who have all but given up.

You know, I don't know what else to do, but maybe lock him up.

With -year-old twin girls... Both of you, out!

And a -year-old autistic boy,

Jo faces her biggest challenge yet...

[Jo] tristin, no, no.

And calls in for backup.

She's had years' experience with autistic children.

Oh, I'm sorry. [Screams]

Will this dynamic duo help this family

Function as a unit,

Or will everyone go their separate ways?

Tristin, what are you doing in here?

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

Let's take a look and see what family we've got this week.

Hi. We're the facente family.

My name's trae, this is my wife deirdre,

And we have twin daughters that are years old

Named kayla and marlana...

And our son tristin who's

And has been diagnosed with autism.

First time we found out tristin was autistic,

Deirdre called me on the phone absolutely hysterical.

It was very hard for us to come to grips with.

Tristin is autistic.

[Cries]

He's a very difficult child to raise.

We can swing later when we come outside. [Cries]

[Deirdre] he lacks the communication to tell us,

You know, how he feels, so whenever he's screaming...

[Screams]

I'm at a loss of what to do.

You're not gonna die 'cause you can't go outside.

He's hyper. He likes to jump on the bed, spin around in circles,

He wants to go outside all the time.

[Trae] every now and then,

We'll forget to lock the van door

And we'll catch him in the van.

Tristin, what are you doing in here?

We're just scared to death that he could get locked in there.

I don't think you're supposed to be

Hanging out in the van, mr. Man.

The biggest issues with kayla and marlana

Are they follow me a lot during the day. What?

Quit following me around.

They have a trampoline, swing set.

They have every toy imaginable.

Instead of following me around,

They could be doing some of those things

While I'm doing things that I need to catch up on.

Tristin, stay down from there.

Both of you, out!

But I feel like I'm just struggling,

Trying to keep my head above water.

Mommy's tired.

[Trae] we want help because we're dealing with twin girls

Who demand our attention

And tristin who needs our attention.

We're playing -card pickup everyday

[Tristin screams]

Supernanny, we're desperate. We need your help.

Pleasecome help us.

If she doesn't come, I don't know what I'll do.

You guys need some good help. I'm on my way.

Oh, my goodness! Hi!

Oh, my gosh. Look who it is.

How are you? Pleased to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Now to meet you, too. How are you?

[Deirdre] jo walks into my house.

I really couldn't believe that she was here.

It was kind of hard to sink in that I'm actually going to

Get help and my life is gonna change for the better.

Oh, thank you. This is tristin. Hello, tristin.

Say hi. Hi!

Pleased to meet you. I'm jo jo.

[Trae] come here. Marlana, come here. Miss shy.

How are you? How are you?

[Trae] we were really excited to see jo,

And I was almost speechless. I was just, oh, thank goodness.

The help's here.

I'm here to observe.

Just relax, do as you normally would

And I'm just gonna watch and ask some questions.

Great. Okay.

Soon after I arrived, trae said he had to leave for work.

Bye, girls. Thanks. [Jo] bye-bye.

Let's go clean your playroom.

Mom walked in and said to the children,

"All right, it's time to tidy up." It was mid-morning.

Clean up the playroom. Don't dawdle.

Just give it to me.

Girls, clean up the toys that you know where they go.

Come on.

Why would you clean a playroom

If you're gonna be playing in it all day?

It's the girls' play time,

So it seems like they should start to have some fun.

I gotta go check on tristin, so I want you to continue cleaning.

No. Come on. Sit.

[Tristin screams] no.

[Jo] the girls were busy cleaning, so it gave me

A good chance to see mom interacting with tristin.

Sit. Sit.

You could see that deirdre was frustrated,

Trying to understand tristin.

If you eat the rest of your hot dog, you can get down.

All done?

[Screams]

[Jo] I realized there was no real stimulation in the home,

And tristin was just in his own world.

I saw tristin sneak up to the door

And try to get out...

And at one stage, he did.

Deirdre had no clue.

Is tristin in there with you?

[Jo] so I had to run after him.

Tristin, no, no. [Screams]

You can play in a little bit, okay?

You can play in a little bit.

Doing laundry and some thing like that, that's usually when trae try to escape.

Lockin' this door.

Do you get really scared?

I mean, he went out that front door.

I mean, he could have gone anywhere.

Yeah, I know. When he goes missing,

It takes us a good minutes to find him,

And during that time, my heart's just pounding.

You know, I don't know what else to do,

But, you know, maybe lock him up or tie him up.

I don't know. He finds ways. He finds his way out.

[Jo] I really cannot believe what I just heard.

This boy has autism.

He has no sense of danger.

You want to go outside? No? Well, what do you want to do?

Y'all go play. Go play somewhere.

Go jump on the trampoline. [Telephone rings]

Hello? Hey.

[Jo] the girls were following mom around the house

And she paid them no interest.

Girls, I'm on the phone.

I'm sorry. I'm dealing with my children.

Yeah great.

She kept shooing them away...

Girls, I'm on the phone. Can you wait?

And telling them just to "go off and play, just go off and play."

Go play. [Screams]

[Jo] the children are clearly starved for attention.

Mom doesn't interact with the girls.

They needed to be stimulated and to have that attention

And that focus.

Mom goes on the internet throughout the day.

Well, hooray for mom.

Because she's got three children that need her

And she needs to realize that.

Coming up on...

When it comes to their kids...

[Deirdre] keep an eye on tristin, okay? Okay.

Mom is unplugged...

But what attention are these children getting from mom?

And dad gets a wake-up call. [Trae] tristin!

He needs help.

I-i have no idea what to do. I have no clue.

When "supernanny" returns.

Bur first, a tip from supernanny.

Hey, parents, if the phone rings,

Feel free to tell 'em you'll call 'em back.

Set up your children with an activity first,

So that you can have an enjoyable conversation

And your children will not fight for your attention.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Clock ticks]

So tristin's out here, the girls are inside,

Who's looking after him?

All right, mom's gotta vacuum.

This is crazy.

Deirdre should be out here with tristin.

I mean, that is a main road, there.

[Deirdre] keep an eye on tristin, okay?

Okay.

[Jo] there's no interaction

Between the children and their mom.

I appreciate that she's got things to do,

But what attention are these children getting from mom?

Marlana, how old is your brother?

.

. And how old are you?

.

.

Marlana has been asked by deirdre to look after tristin.

A -year-old child

Looking after her younger brother,

An autistic child.

Absolutely absurd.

Hello?

Hi. Hey.

How was your day? Great.

How's it going here? Very well.

Hey, girls, how are you? What's up?

[Jo] when dad got home, it was the first time

I'd seen so much energy,

And the girls were really excited to see him.

[Trae] hey, t.

[Jo] but unfortunately, that energy didn't last for long.

You guys, get out of the kitchen, okay?

[Trae] tristin, go sit down, please.

[Jo] the children are sitting down eating their dinner,

But the setup completely isolated tristin

From the rest of the children and mom and dad,

And they don't get him involved in conversation.

[Kayla] oh, look it!

[Trae] tristin!

[Deirdre] tristin, no! I got it, I got it.

[Jo] I wasn't surprised that tristin got up.

Nobody said a word to him.

Dinner is a perfect time to have conversation with all the kids,

But that was not happening.

No.

[Jo] mom and dad just kept plopping tristin

Back into his seat. Tristin!

[Jo] he wasn't happy about that.

[Trae sighs] whatever.

[Jo] it's clear to me that tristin, being autistic,

Needs special attention.

Mom and dad need to learn how to deal with this

Instead of pretending it's not happening.

Deirdre and trae are missing the mark

When it comes to their kids.

I need to sit down and discuss this with them.

[Jo] when I first meet a family,

I go in and I watch the dynamics between the parents

And the children.

I then approach both parents

And we discuss the issues that I feel need to be addressed.

Why don't we all take a seat and have a family meeting?

[Deirdre] I'm just really nervous

About what she has to say.

I know that she is going to critique my parenting abilities.

[Trae] I don't know what jo is gonna say.

I really want to know what she's been thinking this whole time.

You're a couple in a loving relationship,

You're blessed to have three beautiful children...

Thank you.

But there's no pulse in this house.

Could you elaborate on "pulse"?

As in nothing alive,

As in seeing two parents not happy, and it's sad.

You're , deirdre, not . Where's your inner child?

Don't you remember the things

That used to make you laugh and giggle?

I've got to ask you, why don't you allow yourself

To be happy as a mother?

I believe I'm a failure.

I believe that nothing I do is good enough,

So I stop trying.

Your kids need you...

Because you're their mother. [Deirdre sniffs]

Let's talk about tristin.

I mean, we're all in agreement here

He's autistic, right?

Right. Then why do you guys

Try so hard to forget that every day?

Denial.

Denial? You in denial?

No, I accept it,

But I don't know how to handle it.

I mean, I barely know how to handle my girls,

As you can tell.

How am I supposed to handle a special needs child?

Let's talk about outside.

The pair of you allow your children

Out into that front yard by themselves.

What about tristin?

He doesn't know boundaries and danger.

Where is the responsibility? It's absolutely madness.

I couldn't walk into the house.

I was worried that if I came in,

Something might happen,

And that's me.

Why are you guys not thinking that way?

There's no excuse. There isn't.

Your girls come up to you. They get this sign all the time.

"Go away. Go play. Go and do something."

Now that's rejection.

I'm serious.

I saw at least times

Where tristin actually came over to you

And you could have took that opportunity

To do so much with him and it did not happen.

He needs help.

I-i have no idea what to do. I have no clue.

And the fact that you said there was opportunities today

Where we could have done something about it

Breaks my heart.

I'm ashamed that I didn't even see one opportunity to help him.

You guys need to become positive

And embrace what you do have...

Right. And have the wisdom to recognize

The things that you cannot change

And the things that you can change,

So are you guys ready to change?

Yes. Yes, definitely.

[Deirdre] I do recognize that there is a problem now

And I'm ready to move forward.

[Trae] she put her finger right on it.

I'm really looking forward to seeing what jo can do

To help us change our attitudes.

Let's get to it, then. Wholeheartedly.

Coming up on...

The family gets some answers for tristin's autism...

...stop the swing and say "swing." Okay.

When jo brings in an expert.

Is this a swing? Oh, I'm sorry. [Screams]

But will tristin respond? [Screams]

Just ignore when he does that.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] I'm here to help the facentes with their issues,

However, tristin is autistic

And he does need professional help,

So I'm bringing in an expert.

Hello? Hi. How are you?

How are you? I'm well. How are you?

I'm good.

I've brought dr. Lynn koegel over to meet you guys

Because she has over years' experience

With autistic children.

I'm dr. Lynn koegel

And I work at the university of california in santa barbara.

And I'm the clinical director

Of the autism research and training center.

And at the center, we do research and treatment

For children with autism.

What I would love is

For you to give lynn the opportunity

To be able to work with you, tristin,

And to be able to develop and progress.

With the right kind of intervention,

All children with autism can improve.

Hi, tristin! Hi! This is our little blessing tristin.

[Lynn] I think it's difficult

For any parent to get the diagnosis of autism.

It's considered a severe disability

And it's hard.

As you know, communication is a big one.

He's not using any words yet.

He doesn't get the idea that he needs to use words

To communicate.

The second area that children with autism show

Is the repetitive behavior, so you've seen him,

It's actually restricted interest,

He's not playing with all the activities

Like a typical child would,

And then the third area is difficulty with socialization,

So although he adores you guys,

He's not playing with the sister

The way you would expect for a child his age.

And so he looks to me like he's got

The classic symptoms of autism.

And so the good news about all this

Is that there are great techniques,

They're well-researched, and if you use these techniques,

He will get better. Great. Great.

[Jo] once dr. Koegel

Got acquainted with the facente family,

It was time for me to put up the routine.

And between : and :,

You'll have one-on-one time with tristin,

And that's where we're going to incorporate

A lot of techniques where you'll work with dr. Koegel here.

So from : to :,

You've got this wonderful time here, this gap in the afternoon.

So we've got music and trampoline, the swings.

Art--being creative.

[Deirdre] oh, my gosh. How am I gonna fit all this in one day?

Because it's a lot. I mean, wow.

: To :,

I'd like to see you guys all outside as a family

Because it is important

That you spend that quality time with your children.

[Trae] jo's schedule was a little intimidating at first,

But I'm willing to work on it and I'm willing to try it

And maybe if we need to, jo can tweak it here and there.

Any questions?

[Jo] but there was more than one routine up on that wall today.

There was also tristin's routine.

Which actually follows along perfectly with jo's routine.

[Jo] dr. Koegel made a special routine for tristin

That involved pictures.

At this point,

His visual is probably better than his verbal,

So explaining the things will be more difficult to him,

But what we want him to be able to do

Is see each activity

And when he's done, he can take it off

And put it in the little envelope,

So he can see what's left.

[Trae] dr. Koegel's schedule will help tristin

Realize certain things do happen in an order

Throughout the day and it's not just chaos.

And as much structure as we can bring to his world,

It will definitely help. Let's get cracking.

Yeah.

One thing that could make a massive change for this family

Is to develop tristin's speech,

So dr. Koegel introduced the communication technique.

[Lynn] today, we started with three steps

For working on communication.

The first one was finding something he likes

And something that he likes enough

That he's gonna try to talk for.

Tristin loves the swing,

So we use that to provide opportunities

For him to say "swing."

Just push him a little bit and get him involved

In the activity and then stop the swing and say "swing."

Okay.

Whoo!

[Deirdre] this is the highlight of his day.

Yeah, so let's stop him, and now try to prompt it.

Swing. [Giggles]

The second step is prompting him to talk

And the third is rewarding him

For any attempt or any good word.

Swing.

[Deirdre] swing. It's just a swing.

[Screams]

You have to say the word ten times

Before he'll even try to say it or attempt to say it

And he'll be upset,

Which--that's gonna be really hard for me as a mother

Because he's my baby.

I want him not to swing too much without saying it,

So he doesn't-- [screams]

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, gosh.

Come here. Let's go in the house.

Let's go. [Screams]

We have to keep giving him opportunities

And keep working at it.

Tristin. [Snaps fingers] ooh!

Cookie?

Cookie?

[Screams]

That look. He looks at me like, "you're betraying me."

[Lynn] the important thing is that

If he does get upset and is trying other things like crying,

That they don't give it to him.

Cookie. [Cries]

[Screams] [lynn] I know, this is the hardest part.

The first few words are the hardest.

[Screams] shh...

He's pretty upset.

Here, look at me.

You want to do everything to keep your kids happy,

But the only thing is, he won't learn to talk that way.

He's gotta... Yeah.

You've gotta teach him the words to say

And that this doesn't work anymore.

We don't want him to be doing that.

No, definitely not.

Deirdre did a great job.

I felt like it was very difficult for her

To see him cry,

But he has to learn that if he cries,

It's not a good way to communicate.

[Gasps]

Tickle, tickle, tickles! [Giggles]

[Gasps]

Tickle, tickle, tickles! [Giggles]

Tickles.

It's important that he learns that he's gotta

Try to say the word in order to get the item that he wants.

Tickle. [Laughs]

Tickle.

Tickle! Yay!

That's the first word I think that he said on command,

So it was such an exciting moment.

Tickle.

Yay! Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle!

Tickle! Tickle!

I think he's laughing and saying it

'Cause he knows what he's gonna get.

[Laughs]

I started crying.

I was like, oh, my goodness.

My son has it in him and if he has it in him,

I am all for bringing out his potential.

He got a little frustrated at the beginning,

But he's gonna get it slowly. Slowly, but surely.

[Jo] deirdre put in a lot of effort,

And if she continues to put in this hard work,

In no time, tristin's gonna be speaking.

Coming up on...

Tristin, can you come here?

Mom and dad are put to the test...

[All] yay!

And jo gets the kids to play along...

[Jo] shall we dance?

Oh, my god, this is amazing.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

Whee!

Yay. Tristin! Bouncy, bouncy ball!

Ohh, hoo, hoo, hoo.

What we're going to do

Is a technique called play & walk away.

Okay. Deirdre gets frustrated

That the girls follow her around everywhere.

Your children follow you because

They want your attention. They want to play with mommy.

You can't expect them to leave you alone for one minute

If you don't give them your time.

So today, I introduced

The play & walk away technique.

The first step is to bring them

Something that they will be interested in.

Okay. So that it's got their attention.

The second is for you

To then get involved with the children.

The third step is to then walk away

And allow the children to continue without you.

And then the fourth is to come back,

See everything's okay, give some praise,

"Well done."

This would help her to be able to engage with the children

So that she can then go off

And do the chores she needs to do.

Look what we've got here.

Do you like puzzles? [Both] yeah.

You think you'll be able to do it? Yeah.

Mom, teach them how to put it together. Okay.

Set it down on the floor here.

Oh, wow, kayla, you've already got it.

Does that look right?there?

Yes, there you go. All right. [Jo] okay.

Well, when jo first introduced the play & walk technique,

I was just amazed. I'm like,

Oh, my god, I could really do something like that

And walk away?

[Quietly] help each other do the puzzle.

Help each other do the puzzle.

You must share, okay?

It made sense.

I had no clue

That I was supposed to do that sort of thing.

And, you know, I really feel like it's gonna work.

Oh, my goodness. Look what you did.

[Jo] well done. You've got the pieces together.

[Deirdre] my goodness.

I thought that deirdre did very well

For a first-time attempt.

Now that mom understands how to keep the girls occupied,

It means that she'll have more time to focus on tristin.

Want to play a game? Yeah. Yeah.

It was a real concern of mine that tristin

Just walks out of the house without mom knowing about it.

So to stop tristin from wandering off,

Dr. Koegel is bringing in a new technique.

This one is called the name game.

What we're gonna do is we're gonna put tristin down.

When we call tristin's name, we're gonna help him to run

To the person that called him. All right.

And when he gets there, he gets a treat.

We're all gonna cheer, and you could even help him

Get to dad when dad calls him.

We're trying to teach him to come to his name. Tristin, can you come here?

Tristin. Uh-oh. Run!

Tristin, come here. Come see me.

[Cheering]

Good.

I really wanted the twins

To get involved with some of the therapy.

Tristin, come here.

Tristin.

We had the girls work with him

And kind of help mom.

Come here.

[Lynn] yay!

Yay!

Mommy called you.

He actually started coming when we were calling him.

And dr. Koegel kept the girls involved,

Which I thought was really great.

Does she get a little chip, too?

You did help him. You got a chip, too, didn't you?

Kayla, would you like one? Yeah.

There are some things that are so simple

That you would never even think of to use

That we could've been doing.

Come here, tristin. Yay!

[Deirdre] I was like, oh, my gosh,

It clicked in my head. I'm like, well, that's a great idea.

Yay, tristin!

I helped him. [Trae] yeah, you did.

[Jo] to see tristin come closer into the family

And feel more involved,

Dr. Koegel suggested that the family learn

How to include tristin in the daily activities.

You want to help set the table?

Come on. Let's go help set the table.

When we went to set the table, I was really thinking

That we're gonna pick up these spoons

And he's just gonna bang 'em together

And nothing's gonna come of it.

[Lynn laughs]

Sit it down.

And that's great. That's wonderful.

Very good. All right, let's sit the other one down.

You can see how he's learning so much

By helping like this rather than being off.

Yay! Nice job, dad.

Setting the table with tristin was the most moving moment

I've had with my son.

He was actually interacting with me

And doing the same things I was.

Very good. Nice job!

What else do we need? This is wonderful.

He's actually going along with it.

He's not just lost in his own world,

He's actually in my world with me.

Oh, yeah.

He's beginning to learn how to do things.

He's involved. Right, right.

He's getting involved, and he's not spacing out. Right.

It was so important that trae saw

How successful tristin could be.

Today was a great day.

He helped him set the table,

He imitated his dad, and dad was happy,

And that's gonna happen more often.

Oh.

It's so awesome.

[Crying] I felt so helpless,

Like there was nothing I could do.

So to get some help

And to actually hear that he's making words

And to bring him into mainstream again,

I don't even know what to say.

It was absolutely amazing

To see trae and tristin make so much progress.

So the next thing I wanted to do

Was to teach the family

How to play and have fun together.

So dr. Koegel and I introduced the inclusion technique.

Should we dance?

[Deirdre] dance, tristin.

[Trae] dance, tristin, dance.

All right.

[Cheering]

♪♪♪

[Trae] why don't you dance, too?

[Lynn] he amazed me. He loved it.

It's always hard to tell

What these kids with autism are capable of.

That's why it's so important

That people don't give up on 'em.

And that they learn the strategies to work with 'em.

Yeah, tristin was playing.

One...

Two...

Three.

Three! [Trae] good!

Yeah.

Yeah!

Oh, my god. This is amazing.

This is amazing.

Dad was gobsmacked.

And this is exactly what I was saying

When we don't know what to do.

Now we know what to do.

I hope someday tristin can talk to me.

He's gonna need some work with socializing with other kids.

Well, this is a great way to start,

Having him doing the same activities.

And, you know, we could even have them later

Trading toys and things like that with him.

[Jo] and I hope that the response that trae saw

Has given him the strength

And motivation to continue this every day

Because what happened in that playroom was priceless.

[Jo] girls.

[Laughing]

It's time for dr. Koegel and I to leave.

Enjoy, okay, you two?

But it will be interesting to see how the facente family

Gets on without us.

We will see you when we get back,

And remember those gaps in the routine

Where you're productive. Right.

So that you can enjoy all three children together. Okay.

And remember keep tristin engaged all day long,

Keep providing opportunities for him to use his communication.

Right. Great.

[Deirdre] it's gonna be hard because I have to

Incorporate tristin in my everyday activities

And keep the girls busy.

That's gonna wear me down.

Take care. [Trae] thanks, guys.

Bye. Bye-bye.

Bye.

Coming up on...

Come here.

When jo and dr. Koegel leave...

I need some space right now, marlana.

Mom's patience wears thin...

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

The facentes are on their own now.

Let's see how they get on.

Tickle.

[Laughs]

[Jo] fantastic.

Mom's trying to get tristin to communicate with her.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

You said, "tickle." I heard you.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

Good goin', mom,

Gettin' tristin to respond.

Who wants to play ring-around-the-rosey?

Ring-around-rosey.

[Gasps] he said, "ring-around-the-rosey."

Yay! Let's do it.

♪ Ring-around-the-rosey ♪

♪ A pocket full of posies ♪

[Jo] that's good, deirdre.

It looks like the kids are having fun.

Then we--

Kayla, can we finish this song?

Kayla, if you keep interrupting,

I'm just gonna give up on this whole music thing.

[Jo] mom, don't get frustrated. Stick with it.

You know what I mean?

Hey, choo-choo.

Oh, whaa!

Choo-choo. [Girl crying]

If you can't share it...

[Jo] mom, you're supposed to play before you walk away.

Where are you going?

Get up! Get up!

I need some space right now, marlana.

Because.

I'm trying my best to get y'all involved

In things that might be fun for all of you at the same time.

But you don't want to do it,

Kayla doesn't want to do it.

You're fighting over toys, things like that.

I can't handle that.

[Jo] she's a -year-old little girl.

She does not deserve that.

[Trae] everybody ready? Yep.

Call him.

Tristin. Come here, tristin.

[Jo] all right, the name game,

And the girls are helping, too.

Come here.

I helped him.

Yay!

Mommy, I helped him. I helped him.

Me, too.

Girls, can you just wait three seconds?

Can I have another piece?

That's what I'm saying.

I thought she was gonna show us how to deal with them

While we're working with him,

And she didn't say anything at all about that.

All she did was bitch about us.

[Jo] clearly we've got a few techniques to revisit.

I'm on my way back.

[Jo] today I sat down with the facente family

And showed them the dvd footage.

Whilst lynn and I have been away

We have been watching you both,

And we do have some footage that we would love to show

The pair of you.

It enables the parents to see exactly where they've gone wrong

So we can amend that.

And today, both deirdre and trae needed a big wake-up call.

Tickle.

[Tristin] tickle. Tickle.

Yay!

Tickle.

Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

I love that. That was perfect.

That's excellent. That's what we want.

Look at how happy he was.

Tell me how you felt. Were you having fun?

Yes. I was having fun.

It was fun for me just watching him smile

And have a huge smile on his face.

You recognize that when you put so much in,

How much you're rewarded back.

And that's why you have to keep doing it.

If you can't share it...

Girls, when you guys fight, it makes me frustrated.

I need some space right now, marlana.

Why?

Because.

Your frustration and anger led you into that bedroom,

Where you needed just to cool down,

But the impact on that was marlana feeling like

You didn't want to be close to her.

She can sense your frustration,

And what can she do about it?

She can't.

That conversation should have been had with an adult

And not with your daughter.

Let's move on to the next one here.

[Deirdre] come here, tristin.

Yay!

[Kayla] I helped him. I helped him.

Can you just wait three seconds?

I thought she was gonna show us how to deal with them

While we were working with him,

And she didn't say anything at all about that.

All she did was bitch about us.

[Jo] okay, trae,

So here in that clip, we can see your frustration.

This is about you learning how to deal with the girls

And tristin and everybody together.

All the attention shifted to them,

And now I've lost the focus with tristin

On why he was getting the reward.

That's where my frustration was coming from.

The girls did great. They helped you. Yeah.

They helped you get him over there.

It was wonderful.

It was such a positive piece of footage

And yet, the only people that didn't think it was

Was you two.

I should open myself up to whatever they're saying,

Rather than shutting them down.

I've been so used to doing that.

But you're aware,

And that's the start.

So eyes--eyes very much need to be open.

If you're seeing generosity and kindness

From your children, reward.

Yeah.

I'm ashamed of myself for even

Not seeing that, you know?

I was putting blinders on, I guess,

To their good behavior and just focusing on the bad.

You must do all that you can

To build their self-esteem and confidence.

I'm really ashamed of myself

For not noticing how wonderful my children are.

[Lynn] now you'll notice.

[Jo] yeah, but now you noticed.

You can do so much now to make it better for all of you

So that you're all happier as a family.

After watching the dvd,

I want to go off and just hug my girls,

Tell them how much I love them

And how sorry I am and how much I'm gonna try

To be the parent that they deserve now.

We're gonna be here for the whole day,

Helping you guys implement, reinforce

And tweak everything.

Ready for some more work?

Sure. Okay.

Coming up on...

Jo and dr. Koegel set the table

For progress... [Cries]

I'm working on it.

Yum yum?

And the family digs in...

Yum yum? Yum yum!

Very good!

When "supernanny" returns.

But first, a tip from supernanny.

Parents, don't feel pressured to have to go to the shops

And buy loads of toys.

Use the materials that you have at home--

Lollipop sticks or plastic cups,

Maybe even shells from the beach.

So that you can, with your children,

Be creative and make your own little treasures.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

[Jo] I was really disappointed

Not to see the play & walk away technique being used

Because it will keep the girls occupied

And allow mom to spend more time with tristin.

So the first thing I did was to introduce

Some arts and crafts for the girls.

[Trae] okay, here's your glue.

Put a little bit on the back of whatever bead. Very good.

Oops, fell down.

Okay, dad,

I want to take you out of the picture.

So, mom, that means this would be

As if you were at home...

Okay. During the day with all of them.

All right?

Glue, please.

Mom, we'll go straight into the laundry room... Okay.

And we'll leave the girls. Fantastic.

Soon enough, the girls were having so much fun,

They didn't even notice that mom had stepped away

To do some laundry with tristin.

Yay!

You did it!

[Deirdre] jo's play & walk technique

Is a simple thing.

I mean, I just felt like, oh, my god, it works.

That's so great. Okay, I want you to go past the girls,

Give 'em praise about how they're behaving well together. Okay.

Wow, girls, you're playing really good together.

I'm very proud of you.

[Jo] I think deirdre finally understood today

That if she gives her attention to the girls first,

Then they'll be occupied.

She'll be able to leave them and walk away

And get on with her chores.

And that's how the play & walk away technique works.

♪♪♪

Tonight, I wanted to show deirdre and trae

How they could have a peaceful family dinner,

But still work on tristin's speech.

You gonna help me?

Let's go ahead and follow through with them,

See if we can get him to...

[Cries]

Ignore it.

That's good.

There you go. That's better. Very good.

With mealtime, I'd like to work with deirdre and trae

On getting him to say yum yum

And show deirdre how successful he can be

At saying those words during dinner.

Yum yum?

Can i-i know--

Yum yum?

[Tristin whines]

Mommy.

I don't think he's gonna do it, trae.

I have that mother bear instinct.

I want to feed my child,

And I don't care what it takes to do it.

No, we're gonna make him sit here.

[Jo] I could see that deirdre was gettin' really frustrated.

She wanted to give in to tristin's temper tantrums.

If she'd have done that, she'd have only been goin' backwards.

Never be scared of a tantrum,

Because you know what?

It would be the same as if marlana...

Yum yum?

And kayla over there had a tantrum.

It's not that I'm scared of the tantrum.

It's that I know he's hungry,

And it's a little bit past dinnertime.

Just remember that even though you know that he's hungry,

Just that little bit, that little step further,

Is what makes such a big difference.

No, I want to feed him. Just think that pretty soon,

He's gonna be saying it every time.

Finally, deirdre and tristin calmed down,

And a few minutes later

They had success.

Yum yum? Yum yum!

Very good!

Yay!

When tristin turned around and just said, "yum yum,"

I was just, like, oh, my god, it works.

You said it right on cue.

At the same time, kayla and marlana

Were behaving beautifully.

I didn't want them to be forgotten,

So it was important that they got praise, too.

Let's not forget the girls as well.

They're behaving beautifully.

Is it good?

You are such a good girl. Listen to how good you are.

Good girl, kayla. You're eating like big girls.

[Lynn] every single bite tonight,

He has said a word for.yeah.

Every single bite.

So, mom, I think the girls have done well.

If you want to...

Let them excuse themselves.

Would you like to be excused?

[Jo] dinner tonight was absolutely fantastic.

Tristin was engaged.

Mom and dad were giving the girls lots of praise.

And for once, there was this beautiful family dinner

Happening before my eyes-- priceless.

Yeah!

Yeah, look at you. Good job.

Well, lynn, I think our work's done here.

I think they're doin' great.

It's gonna be tough to say good-bye. [Laughs]

[Jo] I feel very confident

That deirdre and trae

Have learned a lot from this process.

From the bottom of my heart,

Thank you for rescuing my family.

Because without you,

I don't know where we would've gone.

[Jo] I feel that educating deirdre and trae

Has allowed them to become more confident parents.

Bye, sweetie.

[Squeals]

Good-bye, tristin.

Say bye-bye to nana jo.

Bye-bye, darlin'. Mwah.

Mwah. Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye-bye.

Keep working together. Don't give up.

We won't. We won't. Yeah, bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Wow. Cool.

Mwah.

♪♪♪

Yeah!

[Trae] since jo and dr. Koegel have been gone,

We are all much more appreciative of life in general,

And we had been taking it for granted for a long time.

All right, you take a break, and daddy will jump.

[Deirdre] for the first time in my life,

I can't wait to wake up tomorrow

And be the mom that my kids deserve

And just have fun with them,

And start living my life rather than what jo said.

I'm , not .

Swing.

Swing. Yeah!

When I look at tristin now, I see a hopeful future.

He's gonna be all that he can be

All because we worked with him.

Give him a kiss.

[Trae] I've seen a real huge change in tristin.

He tries to communicate with us a lot more.

And I think it's because he's finally coming to understand

That we understand him.

[Deirdre] what jo and dr. Koegel have shown me

Means my kids will have a better future.

They are gonna have a better mommy and daddy.

Deirdre and I now realize that our family is number one

And our kids are our utmost priority in life.

Thank you for giving me hope... [Sniffs]

For me and my family to have a normal...

Functioning, well-adjusted household

That will continue to grow for generations.

Thank you, jo jo.

Thank you, dr. Koegel.

[Deirdre] ♪ play guitar with a piece of cheese ♪

[Laughs]

Like this.

Yeah.

[Sings]

Yeah.

[Singing]

You gonna be a rock star?

You gonna be a rock star?

[Sings]

Good job. Yay, tristin!