03x11 - The Paper Chase!

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: This is the
Evergreen forest.

Quiet, peaceful, serene.

That is, until
Bert Raccoon wakes up.

Bert Raccoon: Yahoooo!

♪♪

Yeeeehaaaa!

Yikes!

Yaaaah...
[bam!]

[laughs]
[smash!]

Yeaaaah!

Narrator: Luckily, he has some
good friends to help him out.

Broo: [panting]

♪♪

Narrator: Life would be simple
in the forest except for...

Cyril Sneer!

[bleep blarp bloop]

And his life would be simple
except for...

the Raccoons!!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪♪

Narrator: It's a busy
morning at the office

of the Evergreen Standard.

Everyone, as usual,
is hard at work preparing

the latest edition of the
newspaper.

Melissa: Ralph, I got those
sh*ts of the old bandstand.

Can you take a look
at this contact sheet?

Ralph: ..and through the efforts

of Lady Baden-Baden and
the Heritage Society

the old bandstand
will soon be restored.

Well, it's not exactly
earth shattering news,

but Bert's written
a pretty good story.

Melissa: I thought before and
after photos of the bandstand

might be a nice idea.

But I'm not too happy
with these sh*ts.

Ralph: Whatever
you think, Melissa.

There's plenty of time.

[phone ringing]

Ralph: Evergreen
Standard, Ralph speaking.

Yes.... mhm..

You're kidding!

No, no! That's terrific!

Thanks for calling.

Melissa, it's finally happened.

The Civic Awards committee
has nominated me.

Me, for Small Town
Editor of the Year Award.

Melissa: That's
wonderful, Ralph.

Ralph: There is
so much to get done.

The committee is going
to be judging

this issue of the Standard.

We've got to make this the
best issue that ever saw print.

Melissa: In that case I'd
better re-sh**t these photos!

Ralph: No, no, no!

It's going to take
more than that, Melissa.

We need hard hitting
investigative reporting.

In depth features
on world events,

I see.. uh, a
colour photo essays,

computer control type setting.

Melissa: And where do
you see all this, Ralph?

Ralph: Right here, the new
Evergreen Standard!

Bert, my star reporter,

my ace news hound!

Bert: Who?? Me?!

Ralph: What do you think of
the Standard's new slogan?

'The Standard
sets the standard.'

Bert: Well, I've heard better.

Ralph: I'll work on it.

This year I'm going to win that
award no matter what it takes.

[typewriter clacking loudly]

Ace reporters don't stand around
waiting for news to happen, Bert

so get out there, ace,

and get me some late breaking,

hard hitting,

in depth, daring exposes!

We need new typeface
a new masthead,

better quality paper,
a whole new look!

[Crash!]
[bam!]

Bears: [chanting]
Unfair to Bears!

Unfair to Bears!

Cyril Sneer is unfair to Bears.

Bert: Hey, I smell a late
breaking in depth,

hard hitting,
daring expose here.

Hey guys, what's the beef?

Pigs: O-oh!

The Bears: [grunting]

Sneer is unfair to us...
he can't get away with that?

Bert: No kidding!
Hey, let me get this down.

The Bears:
..a seven day work week!

Bert: What?!
A seven day work week?!?

The Bears: No holidays ever!
Bert: What!? No holidays?!

Ever?!

Cedric: I guess, this strike
has its good side too, Pop.

After all, we don't
get too many chances

to work together like this.

Cyril: We'll have
plenty of chances,

because there is
plenty of work, my boy.

Pig: Eh-eh-ehm!

Cyril: What do you want?

Can't a man enjoy a
little peace and quiet

in the sanctity of
his own vault?

Pig: Sorry boss, but the help
is getting very restless.

Pig 2: They're barely
under control, Sir.

Pig 3: Don't you think we
should open negotiations

right away, boss?

Cyril: Forget it!
Pig: But Sir,

the Bears provide all
the cheap menial labour

around the place.

Cyril: No problem!

You menials are cheaper;
you can pick up the slack.

Pig 1: That's what
we were afraid of.

Cyril: Look at the money I'll
save if I don't have to pay

those brainless bruins.

Cedric: I don't know, Pop.

It's a well
established fact that

everybody loses during a strike.

Cyril: Nonsense!

Pig: But boss, the press
is outside on the lawn.

Pig 3: Yes, getting
the whole sordid story.

Pig 2: Oh, think of
the bad publicity, boss.

Cyril: Who cares!

There! I've done
half
your work for you.

Who says Cyril Sneer
isn't a sensitive employer?

Now finish polishing the rest!

Pigs: Aww!

♪♪

♪♪
[clocks ticking]

Cedric: Ready, Bert?

Bert: Yup! Well, see you later.

Cedric and I will
be back for dinner.

Ralph: Just a minute, Bert.

I'm not happy with this at all.

Bert: Well, gee, Ralph, you
always liked my columns before.

Ralph: I know, Bert, but
that was when you wrote

for the old Standard.

Remember, 'the new Standard
sets the standard.'

Bert: Um.. What's
wrong with my story?

Ralph: It's too casual,
Bert, too off hand.

I want the facts,
Bert, just the facts.

I want more of what
makes news.. um.. news.

Bert: Gee, I'm
sorry, Ralph.

Maybe I did hurry it
a bit, you know,

hey, but no problem, I'll
re-write it for you.

Ralph: Never mind, Bert.

It's all a matter of style.
I know, what I want.

We are on a tight schedule,
so I will re-write it.

Bert: Egh! So,
I got no style, huh!

Well, if that's the way you
feel, why don't you write

all my columns
from now on, Ralph!

Yeah! Come on Cedric, let's go!

[loud slam]

Ralph: Uh, well,

if you are going to put
out a better newspaper,

we've all got to develop a
more professional attitude!

Melissa: [laughs]

Here, let me
help you, Ralph.

Ralph: And what about
those photos, Melissa?

Are they finished yet?

Melissa: No, Sir Ralph!

Sorry, Sir!

I'll get right on it, Sir!

Pig: Well, the boss may be
able to outlast this strike

just fine, but we won't.

Looks like the Bears are
holding out pretty well.

Pig 2: This could be a
long, hard strike for us.

Pig 3: Hey, it's the mailman.

Pig: I got the mail yesterday.

Pigs: Ahh! Oooh! Aaaah!

[bam!]

Pig: Special delivery?!

Looks important.

Pig 2: I'll say it is, just
wait till the boss sees this!

[bam!]

[hooves tapping]

B-boss! Boss!

Cyril: Can't you see
I'm on the phone?!

Mr. Knox: As I was
saying, Mr. Sneer,

my warmest congratulations.

Cyril: What for?

Mr. Knox: Why, Sir,
haven't you heard?

Why you've been nominated by
the Civic Awards Committee

for Businessman of the Year.

Cyril: You mean,
after all these years,

I've been nominated for..

Pigs: The Big Buck Award!

Pig: Oops! [giggles] Oh!

Cedric: The Big
Buck Award?! Wow!

Congratulations, Pop!

Mr. Knox: Of course, I've
been nominated again

and I intend
to win again.

Cyril: Forget it, Knox,

three times in a row
is enough for anyone.

It's my turn.

The Bears: [jeering]

Mr. Knox: Mr. Sneer,
do my ears deceive me,

or is that the cry of
dissatisfied employees?

Tsk. Oh my,
I ask only because it

may jeopardize your chances of

winning The Big Buck Award.

Cyril: No, no, it's a pep rally.

Good for employee morale!

Mr. Knox: Well, for you sake,

I hope, that's all it is.

[click]

Cyril: If the awards
committee finds out

I've got a full blown
strike on my hands,

I can kiss The Big
Buck Award goodbye.

Pig: It will be front
page news tomorrow.

Pig 2: That Raccoon wrote a
story about the strike.

Cyril: You're right! My
chances are ruined, for sure.

Cedric: I think
you should negotiate

a new deal with the Bears, Pop.

Cyril: What?! And ruin my image
as a tough talking tycoon?

Cedric: I think it's
the only way, Pop,

if you really want to win
that Big Buck Award.

Cyril: Of course I want
the Big Buck Award!

Pig: Then leave it to us, Sir.

When we are through
with the Bears,

this strike will be old news.

Cyril: It better be,
or you will be pressed ham.

Now get going!

[hoof tapping]

Melissa: Uh huh,
ok, then...goodbye.

That was the
ink company, Ralph.

They can't get that
coloured ink in time.

I'm afraid this issue will be
good old black and white.

Ralph: Oh great, just great!

And I can't get this new type
setting computer working!

How am I supposed to
win Editor of the Year,

if I can't get this
paper out on time?

Ouch! Why this week of all weeks

does everything
have to go wrong?

Melissa: Ralph,
you're forgetting

that the Standard was
nominated for what it is,

not what you'd like it to be.

Schaeffer: Hi Ralph, Melissa.

Ralph: I called you two hours
ago to come and fix the press!

Schaeffer: Sorry, Ralph.

What have you done
to the press?

Ralph: Improved it.

Schaeffer: Uh huh!
Looks like, I'll need

a number six robertson
screwdriver for this job.

I'll have to go get it.

Ralph: Great, first
Bert and now you!

Look, just forget it, Schaeffer!

I'll do it myself.

I guess, I have to do
everything around here!

Schaeffer: Fine, Ralph.

Let me know how you make out.

Ralph: Fine, great, no problem!

Melissa: Ralph Raccoon,
what has gotten into you?

You can't treat your
friends that way just because

you want to win
a newspaper award.

Ralph: Melissa,
I'm a professional.

I've been nominated
Editor of the Year,

and if I can't
depend on my staff

to turn the Standard into the
best paper ever printed then...

Melissa: If you keep this up,
you won't have any staff!

Ralph: Have you got
those photos yet, Melissa,

or do I have to do that, too?

Melissa: They are
in the camera, Ralph.

I know, you want the
photos done properly,

so you can develop
them yourself!

Ralph: Oh, Melissa, wait!

Whoa! [bam!] Oh!

All right then,
I will do it myself

and it will be the best
issue of the Standard ever.

Pig: [shouting]
Absurd! Impossible! Ridiculous!

In other words, no way!

Bear: [angry grunt]

[slam!]

Pig: Oooh! But it is
open to negotiation.

[phone ringing]

Pig: Yes, boss. Yes?

Mhmmm!

Well, I think we've reached
a breakthrough, Sir.

Cyril: Well, hurry it up.
I want this mess settled

before the Standard's
press deadline,

whatever it takes!

Pig: Whatever it takes? Hm..?

Now, it's time to talk turkey.

The Bears:
Gobble gobble gobble gobble!

Pig 2: This may take
longer than we thought.

Bert: Gee, what are
you guys doing here?

I thought, you would be
down at the newspaper office.

Melissa: Ralph seems to want
to do all the work himself.

The idea of winning
Editor of the Year

has made him... well,

a little hard to get along with.

Schaeffer: Yeah.
It's not like Ralph at all.

Bert: Oh well, look
at the bright side.

I've never seen Ralph so excited
about something in my life.

Hey, he'll get the paper
finished on time.

Ralph: 'Bears Bare Grudge.'

Schaeffer: Fine Ralph,
let me know how you make out.

Melissa: If you keep this up,
you won't have any staff!

Bert: Gee, Ralph, you always
liked my columns before?

Ralph: You were right, Bert.

It is a good story and it
should have been printed

[yawns] over an hour ago.

Seven hours ago in London.

♪♪

[clock ticking]

♪♪

Cedric: Oh, still up, Pop?

Cyril: That contract should
have been settled hours ago.

I don't know what's
holding them up.

Cedric: I'm sure, it will
work out. Good night, Pop.

Cyril: I can't take these
all-night bargaining sessions

like I used to.

[yawns]

[snoring]

[bam!]
Bert: Ugh?!

Melissa, Schaeffer, wake up!

Ralph's not home yet.

Melissa: I can't understand it.

He should have been
home hours ago.

Schaeffer: I'm sure, there is
nothing to worry about, Melissa.

He's probably
running a bit late.

He is trying to put a
newspaper out all by himself.

Melissa: I guess so, Schaeffer,
but I've been thinking...

maybe we were
a little hard on Ralph.

You know, what winning
this award means to him.

Bert: Ya, you're right.

Let's go see
if he needs some help.

I mean, we're
still a team right?

Melissa/Schaeffer: Right!

Melissa: Poor Ralph.
And he wanted to win

that award so badly.

And look!

The layouts aren't
even finished!

Bert: Well, will
you look at this?

Ralph put my story
about the Bears' strike

in the paper after all.

You know, I think, he was right.

It isn't very good.

Melissa: Ralph
must be exhausted.

Come on, g*ng!
We've got a paper to put out!

♪♪

♪ Don't let your world roll up,
don't let it get you down ♪

♪ When all around there's
a light to be found ♪

♪ If the sun don't shine
in this hollow world ♪

♪ Then take my hand,
there's a place I know ♪

♪ Gotta come with me,
you must take this chance ♪

♪ Baby, don't look back,
we will find romance ♪

♪ 'Cause the love I feel,
I can give to you ♪

♪ Every word is real,
I believe in you ♪

♪ When the sun comes up
it's just you and I ♪

♪ Walking side by side,
'cross the great divide ♪

♪♪

[printing press humming]
♪♪

♪♪

[snoring]

Cyril: Ah!

Snag: [shrieks]
[bam!]

Oh no!

[snoring]

[slam!]

What are you doing
asleep on the job?

That scandal sheet the
Raccoons call a newspaper

has probably gone to press.

Pig: Oh, he he he...

Hi, boss, it was a
long night of bargaining, Sir,

but against all odds, we did it.

Pig 2: Ho-ho, we have a new
contract with the Bears,

an enlightened document of
monumental proportions.

a preponderance of...
Cyril: Whatever!

Quick, get this news
down to the Standard,

before they print
the wrong story.

[laughing]

Ralph: Oh no, the paper!

I must have slept right through.

Bert: Don't worry, Ralphy boy,

it's all under control.

Care for a copy of
the early edition?

Ralph: You mean, you worked all
night after I was such a...

Bert: ...pain?
Melissa: Tyrant?

Schaeffer: Ogre?

Ralph: Ya, I guess I was.
I'm sorry, g*ng.

I wanted to win so badly,

I guess, I let things
get carried away.

Bert: Well, if all this
mushy stuff is finished,

can we get these
papers delivered?

You've got an award
to win, Ralph!

Pig: We have an important
press release!

Pig 2: Yes, vital
to the boss winning

Businessman of the Year Award.

Bert: Sorry, guys, maybe we'll
have room in the next issue.

Pig 3: I can't bear to look.

Pig 2: Oooh, the boss
isn't gonna like it,

when he hears we
missed the deadline!

Pigs: [loud sobbing]

Pig 3: Wait! I've got an idea!

[muffled talking]

Pig: That's brilliant, Lloyd!

♪♪

Lady Baden-Baden: Ho-ho-ho!

Welcome to the annual
Civic Awards night!

And now our first award,

The Big Buck Award, goes to
business man of the year.

The winners of the Big Buck
must be outstanding

and progressive in their
pursuit of better business.

Cyril: Why did I ever
let you drag me here?

With that newspaper story about
the strike all over the place,

I don't stand a chance.

Pig: Ehm, actually we have
a surprise for you, boss.

Pig 2: Ho-ho, we gave
the press release

directly to the
awards committee.

Pig 3: Now they know
all about the historic

settlement with the Bears.

You'll win the award for sure,

newspaper story or not!

Cyril: You did?
Historic, you say?

Great! Remind me to
give you boys a raise.

Lady Baden-Baden:
And the winner, our new

Businessman of the Year...

Uh, hi-hi..
[drumrollllll]

Cyril Sneer!
[loud applause]

Cyril: Hey, Knox... Pffttt!

Lady Baden-Baden: Cyril Sneer
is this year's worthy recipient

of The Big Buck Award

because of his new
employee policies.

Mr. Sneer has granted the
Bears a two day work week

at double salary,

their own in-ground
swimming pool,

a three month paid
holiday each year,

and breakfast in
bed every morning.

[loud applause]
Cedric: Horraaaaayyyy!

Way to go, Pop!
That's my Pop.

Lady Baden-Baden: Would you care
to say a few words, Mr. Sneer?

Cyril: Well.. ahh... ummm.

Lady Baden-Baden:
Thank you, Mr. Sneer.

[applause]
Certainly words to live by.

Mr. Knox: Well,
congratulations, Mr. Sneer.

You deserve it.

[laughs]

Cyril: You call that
negotiating?

Pig: Oh but Sir, they
did drive a hard bargain.

Cyril: And I'll drive
you to the sausage factory!

Lady Baden-Baden:
There are five nominees for

Small Town Editor of the Year.

Envelope please.

And the winner, Ralph Raccoon

of our very own
Evergreen Standard!

[Applause]

Lady Baden-Baden:
Congratulations!

[crowd cheering]

Ralph: Thank you,
Lady Baden-Baden.

Ehm! Winning this award
tells us that our readers

think we are doing a good job

and that doesn't
mean just the editor.

It's all of us, the team that
puts this paper together.

We promise to keep
on doing our best,

for everyone in the
Evergreen forest.

Thank you all very much.

[applause]

Pigs: [nervous laughter]

Narrator: Awards are a way of
recognizing the very best

in different fields of endeavor.

And in life, the highest award

anyone can give or receive

is friendship.

Pig: But boss, do we have to?

Cyril: You negotiated the deal

and you will live with it.

Now get to work!

[slam!]
Pig 2: All right,

which joker ordered
the eggs Benedict?

♪ [show theme music

♪♪

♪ When darkness falls

♪♪

♪ Leaving shadows in the night

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ Wipe that fear from
your eyes ♪

♪♪

♪ The desperate love

♪♪

♪ Keeps on driving you wrong

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ You're not alone

♪♪

♪ You can run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got everything
you need ♪

♪ Run with us

♪♪

♪ We are free

♪♪

♪ Come with us

♪♪

♪ I see passion in your eyes

♪ Run with us

♪♪