03x08 - Strictly by the Book!

[bunniefuu]

Narrator: This is the
Evergreen forest.

Quiet, peaceful, serene.

That is, until
Bert Raccoon wakes up.

Bert Raccoon: Yahoooo!

♪♪

Yeeeehaaaa!

Yikes!

Yaaaah...
[bam!]

[laughs]
[smash!]

Yeaaaah!

Narrator: Luckily, he has some
good friends to help him out.

Broo: [panting]

♪♪

Narrator: Life would be simple
in the forest except for...

Cyril Sneer!

[bleep blarp bloop]

And his life would be simple
except for...

the Raccoons!!

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪♪

Cyril: What?! Are you sure?

That matter should've been
cleared up hours ago!

[slam!]
You!!

Pig 1: Y-yes, Sir?

Cyril: The Smith
Brother's portfolio!

Cough it up!

Pig 1: I have no idea,
where that is, Sir.

A-a-ah-choo!

Cyril: You,
oversized bacon bits

couldn't find
bubblegum under a seat

in a movie theatre!

Pig 2: S-s-s-so-sorry,
Sir.

Cyril: Cedric!

Cedric: Yes, Pop?

Cyril: There's ten cents
unaccounted for in these books!

Cedric: But Pop,

they've been balanced
twice already.

That ten cents is a mystery

I just can't seem to solve.

Cyril: Well, what can you do?

I expect results and
you're not delivering.

Why can't you do anything right?

Cedric: Gosh, Pop.
I try as hard as I can.

Can I go now?

Cyril: Go, go!

Can't anyone do anything right?

Pig 1: Ahh-choo!!

Bert: [whispering]
Schaeffer: Um, uhmmm..

Bert: Okay guys,

now listen, we gotta...

Hey Cedric, where ya been?

The game stared hours ago!

Cedric: Sorry I'm late.

Pop is having an especially
hard time of things today.

Bert: Well, c'mon, Cedric.

It's the last play of the game

and we need a touchdown
to win this thing!

Okay. Ralph and Melissa,

you guys do a criss-cross.

Schaeffer, you do a buttonhook.

And Cedric, do a
down and out and down.

Everyone else, run interference!

Okay. Break!

Broo: [barks]

Bert: 36! 24! 36!

Hut! Hut! Hut!

Aaa-agh!

Cyril's Voice: You can't
do anything right!!!

[thud]
Cedric: Ooph! Ouch!

Bert: Oaaah, Cedric!

A perfect touchdown pass

and you blew it!

Cyril' Voice: "You can't do
anything right!!"

Cedric: Sorry, Bert.

I can't do anything right!

I guess I'm just useless.

Cyril: I've got more deals going
than a discount store.

Why, if I had a competent staff,

Sneer Enterprises could
be a household word!

Like 'payday'!

If only there were two of me,

then I could show them!

If only Cedric showed
the proper spirit.

I haven't been tough
enough on that boy!

Why if I had the time I'd..

Wait a minute!

I can do it without
having to waste a second!

I'll send him away to somewhere

where they'll teach
him the three b's:

Big, Big, Bucks!

And then, once Cedric gets back,

there will be two of me!

[laughs]
Snag: heheheheh!!

Bert: Cedric, you gotta show
more confidence in yourself!

Cedric: But gee, Bert.

Bert: You've got everything
going for you.

You're smart, you belong
to a successful family,

you're fun to be around.

Cedric: Thanks Bert, but..

Bert: You've got to take
charge of yourself, Cedric.

Be your own boss!

Stand on your own two feet!

Cedric: Well, okay.

Melissa: I think what Bert's
trying to say, Cedric, is

don't let people
tell you what to do.

Bert: Stick up for yourself!

Cedric: Gee,
being self-assertive.

Uh, would that be
okay with you, guys?

Ralph: It never hurts
to be self-assertive.

A new outlook just might
be good for you, Cedric.

Sophia: Besides, Cedric,

nothing you could do
could ever be bad.

Cedric: I suppose a
little self-confidence

could go a long way.

Bert: Yeah! Like uh,
maybe to the end zone?

Cedric: Maybe, Bert's right.

I should better myself and stick
up for myself a little more.

[creak]

I just have to do something
about my self confidence.

And right now is
as good a time as any!

I'll start by doing
something I want to do.

If I don't believe in
myself, who else will?

Cyril: Cedric!
Haha! There you are!

I've been looking for you

for the past two hours!

Cedric: I went for
a long walk, Pop.

I had some things to think over.

Cyril: And you can finish
thinking them over on the train!

Cedric: Train? What train?

Cyril: The one that's taking you
to Improve University.

Cedric: Improve U?

Cyril: Here's their brochure.

"Improve University,

we make mountains
out of molehills".

Cedric: Confidence
building school

sounds like a good idea, Pop.

But I was thinking, I always
wanted to go to cooking school.

Pigs: Uah!

Cedric: You know, start
with brussel sprouts,

and work my way up to cabbage?

Cyril: Cooking?!
You'll be cooking all right.

Great schemes to make
this company more money!

Ha! Now let's get a move on.

You leave at 4:20 sharp!

Cedric: Sure, Pop, but may I
call my friends first?

Cyril: Alright,
but make it snappy.

Destiny is not
to be kept waiting!

You'll learn that at Improve U.

Sophia: Have fun, Cedric!

Cyril: Fun? There
won't be time for fun!

The efficiency courses at
Improve U will see to that!

Cedric: Gee, Pop, I don't know.

Bert: Don't worry, Cedric.

This confidence building school
could be the best thing

that's ever happened to you!

Believe me!

Schaeffer: So long, Cedric.

We'll miss you!

Cyril: I'll say you'll miss him!

He'll never be the same again!

By the time he gets back,

Cedric will be all Sneer!

[laughs]

Cedric: Goodbye everyone!

Sophia: Goodbye!
Cedric: Bye!

Schaeffer: Gee, I sure hope this
is the right thing for Cedric.

[train horn sounding]

♪♪

Ralph: Gee, it'll be great
to see old Cedric again.

Melissa: You mean, the
"new and improved" Cedric.

Bert: I've planned
a football game,

so I can throw him that
winning touchdown pass!

Sophia: Look!
There's Cedric now!

Melissa: I hardly recognize him!

Cedric: Let's see..."when
making a first impression,

one must look as
efficient as possible".

Bert: Huh? Cedric?!

Cedric: Ehm-ehm, conductor,

this train is four minutes late!

How can I give the people
I'm supposed to meet

my undivided attention,

if I can't make my
appointments?!

Ralph: Sounds like
Cedric's really learned

to take charge of himself.

Bert: Hah! What
did I tell ya!

Hiya, Cedric!
Welcome back!

Cedric: Oh hi, Bert!
Hi g*ng! Good to see you!

Bert: Say, how'd you like to
play a little football tomorrow?

Huh? It's all set!

Cedric: Hmmm,
"play is encouraged,

but must be dealt
with efficiently".

Bert: Uh, watcha
got there, Cedric?

Cedric: This is my manual, Bert.

At Improve U, your manual
is your best friend.

Now about that football game,

I can squeeze you in at 2:00
o'clock next Saturday?

Bert: "Squeeze me in"?
Next Saturday?

Cedric: Oh, is that
a problem, Bert?

Bert: Huh? Uh no,
not at all Cedric.

Just calling your
own sh*ts, I guess.

[honk-honk] Well uh, 2:00
o'clock next Saturday it is.

Cedric: Oh hello, father.

Thanks for coming, guys!

See you next Saturday

Sophia: Cedric seems
so sure of himself.

Cyril: Cedric my boy, you're
looking like a new man!

Cedric: "When
attempting to impress,

always make your first
move a forceful one".

Easy on the "hello's" Pop.

There's work to be done!

Pig 1: My! Master Cedric has
become nothing to 'Sneer' at.

Pig 1/Pig 2: [giggle]

Cedric: Now listen up you three:

stop trading idle chatter

and collect those bags

or the next thing
you'll be collecting

will be unemployment cheques!

Got that?!

Pigs: Y-yes s-Sir! Y-yes s-Sir!

Anything you say, Sir!

Cyril: Cedric! Wonderful of you

to out-bully your
father like that!

Cedric: Gee, sorry, Pop.

I guess I'm showing a
little too much initiative.

Cyril: Nonsense!
You're doing just fine son.

Show all the initiative
you want, Cedric.

Cedric: Thanks, Pop.

Now, let's get to work!

♪♪

♪ Turn back the hands
of time tonight ♪

♪♪

♪ Turn 'round the score while
there's still time ♪

♪♪

♪ Can't you hear our song
on the radio? ♪

♪ Sooong on the radio

♪♪

♪ Turn back the sands of
time, it's late ♪

♪♪

♪ We're all alone and
the night can't wait ♪

♪♪

♪ Where are the friends
we used to know? ♪

♪ Friends we used to know

[laughing]
♪♪

♪♪

♪ Stop the clock
it's now or never ♪

♪ Hold me close before
it slips away ♪

♪♪

♪ Stop the clock or
it's lost forever ♪

♪ What we've got is more
than words can say ♪

g*ng: Huh?!

♪ Stop the clock

Cedric: It's 2:02 g*ng.

I have to go.

Ralph: Gee Cedric, so soon?

Melissa: But this
is the first time

we've seen you
since you got back.

Cedric: No time to argue, guys.

It's not productive, according
to my Improve U manual.

Let's do this again real soon,

say next Saturday, same time?

Ralph: But..
Cedric: Gotta run!

Bert: Ah, yeah, right.

All: Ah, bye! Bye!
Bert: So long, uh.

Schaeffer: Gee, Cedric sure
did it all out there today!

Bert: Yeah. Until this afternoon

I always thought football
was a team sport.

Sophia: Well, I'm
starting to think,

that Cedric could use
a little talking to.

Bert: Huh, sure, if you can
get him to put his manual down.

Cyril: Let's see.

I'll just punch
these numbers in and..

Computer: We are sorry.

We cannot disclose
the desired information.

Cyril: What?!

Nobody withholds
information from me!

Let me try this again.

Computer: Sorry.

This information is
strictly confidential.






Cyril: Grrrrr!!!

And this machine is
strictly for the birds!

This time Cedric's gone too far!

This is the last straw!

Time to put an end to
this costly charade

once and for all!

[slam!]

Pig 1: Do you have
an appointment, Sir?

Cyril: One more oink
out of you Pig,

and you're a budget cut!

Cedric! What are you doing?!

Have you gone completely
off your rocker?!

Cedric: Why? Is something wrong?

You did tell me to
take the initiative.

Cyril: Yes, I did! I did?

I-I-I guess I did.

Er, take all the
initiative you like.

You're doing an
excellent job, my boy!

Excellent!

I can't stand it anymore!

I ask Cedric to
show a little drive

and all of a sudden
he's more meddling

than a government accountant!

Too many Sneers
spoil the company!

That boy has got to be stopped,

and that book has
got to be destroyed!

[buzzer]

Pig 2: Ahem, your 3:00 o'clock
appointment is here, Sir.

Sophia Tutu.

Cedric: Sophia? Send her in!

Hi, Sophia!

Sophia: Cedric,
we have to talk.

You've been home
for quite awhile now,

and we've hardly seen you.

Cedric: Well I've been
very busy, Sophia.

"Idle hands lead
to empty pockets,"

so says my manual.

Sophia: We've all
missed the...old you.

Cedric: Gee, Sophia,
I don't understand.

Everyone's asked me to
show more self confidence.

Bert, Pop, Ralph,

Melissa...even you!

Sophia: Well, um..
I suppose we have.

Cedric: And I have been showing
a lot more gumption since then,

haven't I?

Sophia: Um, why,
yes, Cedric.

You have been.

Cedric: So, if I'm
pleasing everybody

where's the problem?

Unless, I'm not living up to
everybody's expectations.

Gee, I hope that's
not what it is, is it?

Sophia: No, Cedric.

You're going beyond
everyone's expectations.

Cedric: Well, thank you, Sophia,

but our time is up now.

I have to brush up on my manual.

♪

Sophia: ..then he
asked me to leave,

because he had to get
back to his manual!

Melissa: So, this is the "new
and improved" Cedric Sneer.

Ralph: I know
it's a "new" Cedric,

but I'm beginning to
have my doubts about

the "improved" part.

Bert: He must be doing
all this for his Pop.

I mean, who else
would he do it for?

Sophia: I think he's
doing it for all of us.

Bert: Gee, I'd give anything
for the old Cedric

to come knocking at
our door right now.

[knock-knock]

Melissa: Who could that be?

Bert: Hey! Look! It's him!

It's...

Huh?!

All: Cyril Sneer?!

Cyril: I think it's time
we had a little talk.

Cyril: Aaaah!

Cedric: Pop, you're looking
really on edge these days.

To much pressure?

Cyril: More than you know, son.

I'm even thinking a little
holiday might do me good.

Say a camping trip.

On Thunder Island.

You wouldn't care to
come along, would you?

Cedric: Gosh, Pop,
I don't think so.

There's so much work to do.

Cyril: C'mon, Cedric!
Do it for me.

Lift your poor,
tired father's spirits.

Cedric: For you, Pop, anything!

Let me check the manual.

"When idle moments do arise,

turn them into challenges."

Cyril: Great!
We leave immediately!

Cedric: Uh Pop, what's
the point of camping,

when we can be using that time

to build character?

Let's make it a
survival weekend!

Cyril: A what?!

Cedric: We'll fend for
ourselves in the great outdoors!

Cyril: Hmm, well,

that's not exactly

what we had in mind.

Cedric: "We"?
Cyril: Uh.."oui".

I'm practicing my French.

[laughs]

♪

Ralph: Make it fast with
those costumes, g*ng!

I can see them now.

Bert: There you go,
all strapped in.

Now remember, get that manual!

Pig 1: Get the manual?

How dumb do you
think we are?

What else would we be
after, dressed like this?

Pig 3: Worms?

Yeow ooo!!!

[splash!]

Cedric: Keep paddling, Pop.

Just a few miles more!

"Healthy body, healthy mind,

healthy profits".

It says so in my manual.
Cyril: [groans]

But this...is supposed to be...
a vacation,

not a...heart test!

Cedric: Oh. Well, anytime
you want to turn back, Pop...

there are some things I
could be doing at the office.

Cyril: Er..no, no, no, son.

I'm having a great time.

[slap]
Ouch!

Say, why don't we stop here

and do a little fishing, Cedric?

This looks like a good spot.

Cedric: Sure, Pop.

You'll have to start
without me, though.

"Always strive to be as
forceful as you can."

Cyril: Cedric! Look at
the size of these babies.

Never pass on a big opportunity.

Didn't they teach you
that at that school?

Take charge!
Cedric: Aye aye, Sir!

Cyril: They're huge, son.

Better have both of
your hands on that pole!

Cedric: You're right, Pop!

Cyril: [laughs]
That's the idea!

Pig 2: [blub-blub]

Where's the book?

Cyril: Over there,
you pig-paddling dope!

What do I look like
to you, a librarian?

♪

Cedric: "Always strive to be
as forceful as you can."

Okay, here goes!

[struggles] Ugghh!!

Pig 2: Aaahhh!!!!

[splash!]

Cedric: What was that?

Cyril: Must've
been a rainbow snout.

Er, trout!

They're tricky little devils.

[chuckles]

[mumbles]
Just not tricky enough.

[thunder rumbles in distance]

Cedric: There's nothing like an
improvised meal, huh Pop?

Roots, nuts, tree bark..

It builds character!

Cyril: Tree bark doesn't
build character,

it builds boats!

Cedric: Oh oh! Looks
like bad weather coming in.

We'd better be prepared, Pop.

Bert: How do I look, g*ng?

Ralph: Like a real skunk, Bert!

The second you even go near him,

Cedric should
run away in terror!

Schaeffer: [chuckles]

And drop that book!

Bert: This is a
dis-stinktly clever plan!

[laughs]

[thunder rumbles]

Cedric: We'd better hurry
and finish this shelter.

Like the book says,

"any old port in a storm"

and that storm's
getting awfully close.

Cyril: And so is that skunk!

Cedric: A skunk?

Yiiiikes!!

Bert!!!
What's going on here?

[loud thunder]
Cyril: [grunts]

[wind blows]

Cedric: My manual! Ahhh!

♪ [dramatic music]

Ralph! Melissa! Schaeffer!

Sophia! What are you doing here?

Cyril: Ahhh!

Cedric! Help!!

Somebody! Anybody! Hellpp!!

Cedric: My manual!
Cyril: Help!

Pop! I'm coming! I'm coming!

Bert: [struggle]

Cyril: Aaaah! Uh!

Cedric: Pop, are you alright?

Cyril: Oh! My leg! My leg!

I think, I've broken it!

Cedric: Um, okay...
nobody move him!

Bert, make a couple tree
branches into splints.

Bert: Gotcha!
Cedric:
Sophia,
Melissa,

get a cloth from my knapsack
and tear it into strips.

Melissa: Right!
Sophia: Okay, Cedric.

Cedric: Ralph, cover Pop
with my sleeping bag.

Ralph: Right!

Cedric: Everything's
gonna be alright, Pop.

Bert: [laughs] It sure is.

The old Cedric's got
everything under control.

♪

Ralph: Looks like the fire is
getting a little low, Cedric.

Cedric: It could us
a little more fuel.

Ralph: Huh?

[giggles] There!

That should do it
for a little while.

Bert: Er.. Cedric,

about trying to change you.

Eh-eh, your father and I have
something to say about that.

Right, Mr. Sneer?

Cyril: Er, right.

Go ahead.

Bert: Okay, on
the count of three.

Bert/Cyril: One. Two.

Three..

Sorry.

Cedric: Hey, that's alright.

You meant well.

Bert: We liked you
just the way you were.

Cedric: In that case,

let's get on to what I do best.

Bert: Uh...are you
sure you want to cook

all those at the
same time, Cedric?

Cedric: I think
I know what I'm doing..

Too many cooks spoil the broth.

Bert: Huh? Oh.

[giggles] ya, right.

around here
you're the boss, Cedric.

All: [laughing]

♪ [show theme music]

♪♪

♪ When darkness falls

♪♪

♪ Leaving shadows in the night

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ Wipe that fear from
your eyes ♪

♪♪

♪ The desperate love

♪♪

♪ Keeps on driving you wrong

♪♪

♪ Don't be afraid

♪♪

♪ You're not alone

♪♪

♪ You can run with us

♪♪

♪ We've got everything
you need ♪

♪ Run with us

♪♪

♪ We are free

♪♪

♪ Come with us

♪♪

♪ I see passion in your eyes

♪ Run with us

♪♪