01x10 - Our Man in Leotards

[bunniefuu]

[ dramatic music
playing ]

Chief:
this z.f.b. 600 Has
just been developed

By our armory, 86.
It costs $32,000.

- $32,000?
- Right.

[ Whistles ]
how many miles do you get
to the gallon, chief?

This is a triumph
of automotive engineering

And the most
ingeniously conceived

Fighting machine
in existence.

The horn mechanism operates
two .50 caliber machine g*ns

Mounted in the radiator.

Uh, what's this, chief?

That's a radar-operated
tracking device.

Uh, chief, how much can
you give me on my old car?

You pull the light switch out
and turn it to the left,

the car sends out
a high-frequency
emergency signal.

Uh, what's this, chief?

I don't know.

I think it's
the windshield washer.

I think you're right.

Max, you have the newest,
most efficient

w*apon in the service.
How do you like it?

Uh, chief, could I
see it in a tan?

- [ alarm blaring ]
- halt!

Saunders!

That man broke
into the laboratory
and stole the immobilo!

- What's the immobilo?
- It's a new drug,
let's get him.

Chief!
Let's take the car.

I think he's headed
for the main gate.
We'll cut him off.

[ engine stalls ]

- $32,000!
- [ Engine roars ]

[ Brakes screech ]

I'd better give them
a little honk, chief.

- No!
- [ Machine g*ns firing ]

[ theme music playing ]

When he turned
that corner I knew
I had him, sir.

Solid wall on either side,
locked 10' gate

- And then he did it.
- Did what, haskell?

Jumped the fence.

I can't believe that.

I couldn't believe it
either, sir, but I saw
it with my own eyes.

It was a swarthy fellow,
latin type.

He was carrying something,
probably a bottle.

Max, do you think it's
possible for a man to jump
over a fence like that?

Well, there's only
one way to find out.

Stand back.

Chief:
you mean, you're
gonna try to jump it?

Well, if I can't do it,
chances are nobody can.

You see, I happen to be
the three-time winner

Of the spy school gold
medal for high jumping.

Uh, chief, I'll need
an "on your mark,
get set, go."

On your mark,
get set--

Wait a minute chief,
I'm not in position yet.

On your mark,
get set, go!

Didn't I do it right?

Well, chief,
your "on your mark"
and "go" were marvelous,

But your "get set"
needs a little work.

- I had a feeling
you didn't believe it.
- On your mark!

Get set, go!

Chief, no ordinary human being
could have done this.

What do you suggest, max?

You think it could
have been the work
of a very clever animal?

Chief:
morning, windish.

- I'm sorry about that.
- Anything new?

Whoever stole
that drug cut his hand

On the door here.
That's about all.

I'm gonna use the hotline
to my office and tell
hodgkins I'm here.

Hello, hodgkins,
this is the chief.

I'm down at the lab.
Right.

Oh, professor,
I believe you
know 86.

Uh, of course,
the well-known
secret agent.

- [ Phone ringing ]
- nice to see you again, smart.

- It's my hotline.
- Uh, I'll get it
for you, chief.

Wrong phone.

This is the chief.
Yes, hodgkins.



Thank you,
hodgkins. Right.

I'm worried about that.

She's tried to reach us
three times and broke
contact each time.

- Where is she?
- We planted her

In naharana's dance troupe
yesterday morning.

They are here
on a two-weeks
cultural exchange tour.

Naharana represents
a faction in his country

That is not favorably
inclined to our government.

Wait a minute, chief.
Emilio naharana--

- Isn't he the world-famous
ballet dancer?
- correct.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

No, chief, I'm thinking
what I'm thinking.

Emilio naharana,
potential enemy
to our country.

- Swarthy latin type.
- And one of the lastof
theworld's great leapers.

Maybe 99 has found
out something.

But why would
he want immobilo?

Windish, one question.

Just what is immobilo
and how does it work?

Actually,
that's two questions.

He's bright.
I like that.

- Go on, windish.
- Immobilo is a relatively
harmless drug

Which when injected
subcutaneously

Puts its victim into a
temporary state of paralysis.

Turns him
into a statue.

A statue?

- I can hardly believe that--
- now watch out, smart-- oh, my.

- He's given
himself an injection...
- No harm. A little blood.

- ...but it's
only a small amount.
- My fingers are working.

Why doesn't the drug
work, windish?

It does. He's the only one
that it hasn't worked on.

- I don't understand it.
- Oh, see for yourself, chief.

One little s*ab
with this hatpin

And you're exactly
the way you were before.

chief?

Chief?

Is he going
to be all right?


He'll be fine.

- Hmm.
- What are you
thinking, smart?

I'm wondering just how far
I can run in 30 seconds.

What puzzles me
is your immunity.

- What did you have
for breakfast?
- Breakfast?

Uh, let's see.

I had a bologna sandwich,
rice pudding,

- Lasagna and a peach.
- Raw?

Of course not, windish,
I was wearing a bathrobe.

No, the peach!

- Oh, the peach was raw.
- that's it.

Peach fuzz contains
amino alkalis

Which would give you
an immunity to immobilo.

Answer me, windish,
why doesn't the drug work?

- But it did work. You were
out for a whole minute.
- I was?

Yes, you forgot
to eat a peach.

- I what?
- It seems that a peach
gives one an immunity.

Now you see, chief,
before I s*ab you again

You have to get undressed,
get into a bathrobe and
eat a raw peach.

Give me that hatpin.

No no no. Just put
it down on the table
and stay away from me.

- Now this is what I
think we ought to do.
- Wait a minute, chief.

Isn't this top secret?

Yes.

Well, don't you think
it would be wise

To speak
in a foreign language?

All right. French.

French?

Gosh, chief,
everybody speaks french.

Why don't we speak
in swahili?

As you wish.

Mahani ganga-ge.

- Ganga-ge?
- Mm-hmm.

- I thought it was ganga-gi.
- No, ganga-ge.

Oh, that's strange.

I thought it was "gi"
after "ganga" unless
it came before "gu."

How about english?

English? Uh...

Okay, but don't go too fast.

And in case anybody around
here understands english

I think we should
go in there.

[ g*nshots ]

Okay, chief,
I think we can talk
with privacy here.

Max, 99 is with
the naharana dance troupe

At the pinerovian embassy.
They're supposed to give

A dance recital tonight
for the ambassador.

- [ g*nshots ]
- good, then she'll be
able to tell us

If naharana was
missing from the troupe
when the immobilo was stolen.

So, you see in that way, chief,
I think it will be a...

[ g*nshots ]

- Right, chief?
- Right.

Now, I'll need
an agent to stay
in contact with her.

You got him, chief,
the best in the business.

No, max, I think I'd
like you to do this.

- Well, that's
exactly what I've--
- [ g*nshots ]

So, that's the way
it looks to me.

Right. Now...

I don't want you to carry
a g*n in this case

Because they might frisk you
and that'll be a dead giveaway.

But I do want you
to have some protection.

Let's go back
to windish.

[ g*nshots ]

Windish,
we've got a problem.

I don't want 86 to carry
a g*n on this case--

Ah...

Smart, I'd like
to give you this ring.

Well, I can't take it.
I hardly know you.

You don't understand!

Now this ring is filled
with a large dose of immobilo.

The little needle in the base
will inject the fluid.

Oh... Well,
thank you, windish.

Well, chief, I don't think
there's anything to worry about.

You can depend on me.

Max, i--

Uh-oh, I did it again.

Listen, windish,
when the chief comes to--

Windish?

Uh-oh.

Who are you?
What do you want?

I'm here to fix
the air conditioning.

We have no
air conditioner.

Oh, yes of course.
How stupid of me, uh--

I meant the elevator.

- There is no elevator.
- No elevator.

Well, I was
only kidding around.
I'm the plumber.

The plumbing is fine.

Hmm.

Well, tell me,
is there anything wrong
with anything around here?

Yes, as a
matter of fact

We have a short circuit
in the wiring.

Now tell me, what are
you doing here?

- I'm here to fix the wiring.
- Good good.

There's a short
circuit in the wiring.

Yes, well,
that's why I'm here.

"No"?!
Don't tell me "no"!

nobody says "no"
to naharana!

The next one who
says "no" will suffer!

Who is that person?

That is
the electrician, sir.

"The electrician, sir."

Where is senor julio,
the ambassador's secretary?

- I do not know, sir.
- Then find him.

i must see
the ambassador immediately.

[ door bells rings ]

Ah! Senor julio, the maestro
has been looking for you.

He's anxious to talk
to the ambassador.

The ambassador will
see no one until after
the pact has been signed.

This is 99
calling control, over.

Hello 99, this is 86.
Can you hear me? Over.

Oh, I read you
loud and clear 86.

I think they're
onto me, over.

Don't worry, 99, I'll find you.
Where are you?over.

I'm in the pinerovian
embassy. Where are
you? Over.

Yes, I know you are
in the pinerovian embassy.

I'm in the pinerovian
embassy too.

But just where
in the pinerovian
embassy are you? Over.

Uh, I'm in small room
on the first floor

Full of musical
instruments, over.

Is there a bass fiddle
in the room? Over.

Yes, there is. Over.

Is there a bass drum
in the room? Over.

Oh, yes there
is, over.

Now listen carefully
and do exactly what
I tell you, 99.

Get up very slowly
and look over the drum.

Do you see
a dark-haired man
in a white suit?

[ Whispering ]
yes, I do.

Don't be scared, 99.
I think it's me.

- Max!
- 99!

Why have you been breaking
contact with control?

It's naharana. He keeps
us dancing every minute.

- Every time--
- never mind about that, 99.

We think that naharana stole
a drug called immobilo

From control headquarters.

What I want to know is,
has naharana been missing

From the troupe at any time
during the past 12 hours?

Yes, he left at 9:00
and he came back at 11:30.

Hmm, that figures.

Did you notice anything unusual
or different about him
when he returned?

No...

Oh, wait, yes!

He had a bandage tied around
his right index finger.

Of course, that's perfect.
Naharana is our man.

Come here, 99.

I want you
to eat this peach.

Oh, peach-- um, I don't
like peaches, max, do
you have a banana?

No, eat a peach, 99.
I'll explain later.

Why would naharana
want the immobilo?

Well, I'm not sure,
but I think he plans
to use it on someone

And it's up to us
to find out who and when.

- "Whom."
- Whom?

- Are you sure, 99?
- I'm positive.

Whom and when?
That doesn't sound
right to me.

But "whom" is the objective.
If you use "who" that's
the subject-- [ gasps ]

[ Whispers ]
that must be naharana.

Who is in there?

Uh-- just a minute
please, I'm... Dressing.

Well well, hurry up there,
we have need of this chamber.

Hurry up in there!

- hurry up,
come on out.
- max, look, the drum.


I'd like to handle this.

- [ knocks ]
- 99, I can hide
behind the drum.

- Right.
They'll see you there.
- You're right.

I'm gonna have to
cut my way inside of it.

[ knocks ]

hurry up in there!
hurry up!

- Uh, it's all right now.
- Back to rehearsal.

Julio, come inside.

Oh, shut the door,
shut the door.

Tell me quickly,
tell me everything.

- They have changed the time
for the signing of the pact.
- What?

Instead of this evening
they are signing it
this afternoon.

The american ambassador
is on his way now.

And the pact must
be signed before 4:00.

Before 4:00?!

That is in less
than 20 minutes.

We must act now!

- But-- but maestro--
- oh, "but but but."

Always with you
this "but but but."

No buts! No buts!

If that mutual trade
pact is signed

And the united states
provides jobs for our people,

They will not
need us, no--

We can overthrow
the government only

When the people
are poor...

- [ Drum sounds ]
- ...tired and hungry!

We're to k*ll
the ambassador?

No no, we must not
make a martyr of him.

Besides, k*lling him
would do no good.

the united states would
simply extend the pact

Until our country could
send another ambassador
to sign it.

what do we do?

Don hernando is waiting
there right now,
ready to sign.

You must get me
in to see him.

I will convince him to delay
the signing of the pact

until we have danced
the national anthem
of our country.

That way it will give me time
to devise a way to inject
him with the immobilo.

And then you will go
to the united states
ambassador

And say that we have
decided not to sign.
The pact will be void

- and we will
take over our country!
- [ drum sounds ]

- No time to lose.
- Oh, incidentally..

- That repairman.
- What repairman?

Well, did you not send
for a repairman?

- No.
- You didn't?

Well, then look for a man
in white overalls. Detain him!

If you have to, k*ll him!

[ Drum sounds ]

Let's go!

Max, what did
you find out?

I found out something
very important, 99.

- What is it, max?
- A human being can't
live in a bass drum.

But what did you find
out about their plans?

Well, naharana plans to get
very close to the ambassador

And inject him
with boom-boom--
eh, immobilo.

Oh, well, how is
he gonna do it?
What's he gonna use?

Well, I'm not quite sure,


Get out of this uniform
or I'm a dead repairman.

Wait! I think
they're coming back.

Quick!
Get back in the drum!

Uh, 99-- I've got
a better idea. Why don't we
just give ourselves up?

Quick!

Oh, I'm sorry, I must
be in the wrong room.

Oh, uh-- wait!

Uh, come on in.

I've been
looking for someone
just like you.

Uh, how much
do you weigh?



Ah. And how
tall are you?

About 5'9".

Uh-huh, that's just
about perfect.

Well, it's not perfect.

Hi, there.
I'm secret agent 86.

What did you
do to him?

Immobilo in this ring.

That's marvelous.

Now you'd better get outside
before they miss you.

- I've got to get
out of this uniform.
- Right.

Who are you?

Secret agent 86.

Very good girls!
Very good!

Now hurry!
Upstairs all of you!

Hurry hurry hurry,
hurry hurry hurry.

Very good.

You too, gentlemen. You are
to dance the national anthem.

Wait a moment, I want
to find out something.

Each one of you
execute a leap.

Yeah, that is a dancer.

That is a dancer.

That is a dancer.
Wait, you!

A leap and split.

After him!
After him! After him!

Senor parkerson,
I will sign the pact

When naharana has danced
our national anthem.

- But your excellency--
- a custom of our country.

Your excellency!

You must eat this peach
before it's too late!

Who are you?
What are you doing here?

I'm a secret agent,
I'm here to protect you.

A secret agent?
Where are your credentials?

Uh, my credentials--
well, I left them in my mustache
kit, but that's not important.

The important thing is
that you've got to eat
this peach.

You'll save
your country
if you do.

What are you talking about?
Are you mad?

And how dare you interrupt
this important occasion?

- Who is this foolish dancer?
- Dancer?

I'm no dancer,
your excellency.
Look, I'll prove it to you.

Maybe I am a dancer.

It was a mistake, your
excellency, I've never
done it that good before.

Julio, who is this person?
He claims to be
a secret agent.

And he says if
I don't eat the peach,
our country is in danger.

Emilio:
oh, I am so sorry
senor ambassador.

He is part of my troupe.
Two days ago, you see,

He suffered a very bad
nervous breakdown

And the boy is
not yet himself. I'll take
care of him, don't worry.

- Here, take care
of this man and take him away!
- But, your excellency!

But they're lying,
your excellency.

- Take him away!
- No, don't let them
take him away!

He is a secret agent.
His number is 86,
I'm number 99--

Listen, this poor little
girl, she's his wife, you see.

it's been so much for her
to see her husband crumble
before her very eyes.

- No, mr. Parkerson!
- Julio, take away this
unfortunate person.

Don hernando, with your
permission I'd like

To keep them here until
I check out their story.

As you wish.

But there must be absolute
silence until the formalities
are over. Please!

Forgive me, emilio,
but we can wait no longer.

- I'm going to sign the pact.
-Emilio: as you would wish,
your excellency.

I would however be
much honored if, when you
are signing the treaty,

You would use the humble pen
of emilio naharana.

Of course, if it
will make you happy.

- That's it! The immobilo
must be in the pen.
- You're right!

Your pen seems to have
run out of ink.

It's a ballpoint. Just press
down the little button--

Your excellency,
don't press that button!
You'll be paralyzed!

Uh, that's nonsense!
This man has taken leave
of his senses!

If there's nothing
wrong with that pen,
emilio naharana,

Then why don't you
let me jab you with it?

- Oh, this is ridiculous!
Julio, take him away!
- Wait!

Emilio, if this man
is an imposter,

Why are you afraid
to touch the pen, huh?

Uh, you weak,
stupid little fool,

How dare you make treaties
with the decadent democracies!

I was only going
to paralyze you.
Now you die!

What does all this mean?

Well, it only goes to prove
one thing, your excellency--

The pen is mightier
than the sword.

Senor smart,
my government is
in your debt.

The signing of the mutual-aid
pact would never have happened

Except for your
exceptional bravery.

Well, thank you, ambassador,
but bravery is my business.

Therefore it is
my great pleasure

To award you our countries
highest decoration.

The legion of honor.

- Smart, brilliant.
- Thank you.

- Maxwell, I'm proud of you.
- Thank you, chief.

Thank you, windish.

Max...


And get a pound of peaches.

Our immunity
is just about--

Up.

[ theme music playing ]