02x02 - Robo Teacher

[bunniefuu]

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(Alarm clock rings)

Woo-hoo! It's a school day!

♪ Teach-teach-teach

♪ I love to teach kids

♪ Every-daaaaaay

(Spits)

(Humming)

(Phone rings) Hello, Chef speaking.

(Phone mumbles)

- What do you mean you don't need me to teach anymore?

I'm a teacher!

Replaced with a robot?!

Wait. No! Please don't-- (Dial tone)

I'm gonna miss those kids...

all those wonderful memories...

No! Noooo!

Ahh! Oof!

Actually... those kids were horrible.

I'm okay with this!

Maude: (Reads) "He darted from hiding spot

to hiding spot trying to get home,

and the squirrel never left his tree again."

The end.

- Who's the old lady?

- Her name's Maude and she's our new teacher.

- No way! Where's Chef?

- He didn't show up.

- (Gasps) This is the best thing ever!

With her as our teacher

just imagine what we can get away with!

- Cause trouble. - Trash the place.

- Learn to read. - Huh?

- What?! Get him!

(Hitting thuds) - Oooh, ahhh, not the halo!

(Evil laugh)

Meeting in the castle! Two minutes!

We have a new teacher

and that new teacher is not Chef.

- Your point?

- No Chef. No rules! - Really?

- No. There are always rules.

That's what makes the world a beautiful place!

- Nuh-uh.

- Duncan has a good point.

- WHAT?! - Thank you.

- So what do we do?

- Anything... we... want.

- (Excited gasps and cheers) - No. No.

- Wanna draw on the walls? Do it.

- Way ahead of ya!

- Izzy, what are you doing?!

- Gettin' my g*ng back together.

West Side Wiener Cats RULE! WHAA-WHAT?!

- That is TIGHT!

- Don't just stand there. No Chef, No Rules;

let the rumpus begin!

(Wild cheering) Whooooohooooooo!

- I'm scared. What should we do?

- What all great leaders have done in this situation.

- Hide until it's safe to come out?

- No, Cody. Run and tell the teacher.

(Beeping) Uh-ohhhh!

(Computing beeps)

♪♪♪

There now, all better.

- How's the robot teacher doing?

- She just recharged her battery

and all systems seem a-okay. - Good.

If this test goes well,

soon every teacher in the world will be one of our robots.

(Whirring)

- Ma'am, I'm still concerned

about the Combat Training Program

you had me install in these teachers.

- I have kids at home. Trust me,

they'll need it.

- Miss, I don't wanna tell you how to do your job,

but there are rules about to be broken

all over the place!

- I'll take care of that.

- I like her. She smells like motor oil.

- I have always wanted to do this!

- Today's the day, buddy!

(Squirts) WHOOOOHOO-uhoh.

(Loud splash)

- This is AMAAAAAZING!

- Oh my. Let's clean up this messy-mess.

(Mop whooshes)

(Sparkling clean tinkles)

- Wheeee! (Pop)

- I think someone needs a little timeout.

- Someone thinks she's the new sheriff in town.

We'll see about that. - (Naughty chuckle)

One more can of paint

and I'm ready to ride the rainbow!

Woohoo! No Chef No Ruuuules!

Hahahahaha!

That was the best thing I've ever--

- Good kids make good decisions.

Was this a good decision?

- No. Um...

cause someone put paint on the sli--

iiiiddee! (Water whooshes)

(Splash, hard thud)

- Timeout for you too, young lady.

- Huh. The old lady's tougher than she looks.

Good thing I like a challenge.

- You know what I find challenging?

Sudoku. Using numbers through--

- What is the craziest thing you've always wanted to do?

- To have my own dojo training center.

- Cool!

- No Mom, I'm happy they replaced me.

I'm having the best day ever!

I went to the funpark!

Spent some time at the beach!

Hung out with a friend!

Climbed a mountain!

(Goat bleats)

Anyway I gotta go, Mom. Bye.

Pretty cool, huh?

MY LIFE IS SPECTACULARRRRR!!!

- Welcome to my dojo training center.

- Show me what you got!

- Cheese slice throwing stars!

Swiss, swiss, swiss.

- (Splat) Hey.

- Whoa!

- (Yawns) Mmm.

Free cheese action.

- And by stuffing cheese strings into this recorder

I've made a blowdart w*apon.

Courtney: Stop it! Cody: Gah!

Jude: Must be free cheese day.

- And finally, my cheddar chucks!

(Whooshing)

Oh no.

I've lost control.

I can't stop! Ahhhh!

(Smash) OOH!

- Timeout corner. Now.

- I can't. Agh!

I'm glued to the floor.

(Rip sound) Thank you, Maude.

(Mop whooshes)

- She is such an efficient cleaner.

- Shh. Something seems weird about that teacher.

(Can clanks)

(Fizzles)

(Muffled screaming)

- Okay. I need you all to stay calm.

This is going to sound very-- - MAUDE'S A ROBOT!

- EEEEE! - AHHHHHH!

- Wait. Panicking is not going to help.

- She took her face off! It came right off!

- Eeeeee! - Ahhhhhh!

- Shh. It's okay. We just need to--

- What is going on in here?

All: Ahhhhhh! - Ro-bottttttt!!

- Timeout for everybody!

- Oops.

(Fizzles)

- (Warning alarm) Major! The robo-teacher is down!

I'm showing water damage to her core!

- What? How?!

- Oh no. She's booting back up again.

And she's switched from caretaker to exterminator mode!

- Oh man, melding a baby monitor to a combat drone

was such a dumb idea!

Ugh! We gotta shut her down! Shut her down!

(Keys clack frantically)

- She's not responding!

- What are we gonna do?!

- Donuts? - Ooooh.

- Any maple left?

- Not so scary now are you? AH-AAAHHH!

All: (Scream)

- Enemy detected. Engage. Capture.

(Splat)

- Glued again...

- AHHHHHHHH! - GO GO GO!

- This is SO weird.

I mean why would anyone build an old robot?

- Maybe she used to be a baby robot,

like, a long time ago.

- Hey! There are more important things

to talk about right now!

- Owen's right. - Thank you.

Now... Maude is a robot

so who is going to make us lunch?

All: (Groan)

- I think I have a plan.

- Yes! Order a pizza. Great idea!

- No. I'm getting us some help

(Shudders) Ugh, I do not wanna make this call...

(Rings) - Hello,

former-teacher-new-life enjoyer Chef speaking.

- Uh Chef? It's Duncan. Um...

- Duncan? Wow.

Well, it was good talking to you,

but I'm in the middle of a bath--

- Wait! We need your help!

Our new teacher, she's a robot!

- A robot?! Hmm.

Probably from the military base down the road.

(All gasp) - The military?!

Well, I'm gonna have a word with them about this!

- Duncan threw water on her and she's gone crazy!

- Oh no! That is a problem...

that is not mine.

- You have to save us, Chef! Please!

(Making static noises) Oh I'm losing y-can you-ear m-

under a bridge and-- (Click) (Splash)

(Relaxed sigh) - We lost him.

- Who takes a bath under a bridge?

(Robot whirring) - Shhh.

(Robot whirring)

- (Quietly) Okay. I-I think she's gone.

(SMASH)

- Engage. All: AHHHHH!

- It's okay, guys.

If you can't see her then she can't see you.

Just cover your eyes and--

(Splat) AH!

Now I'll be invisible forever.

I'll call my mom and she'll get us lawyer so that we can--

(Robot whirring)

(Squirt, splat)

- (Whimpers) - Bummer.

- Threat contained.

(Beeping)

- Not gonna lie...

terror makes me gassy.

(Farts)

- Ewwww!

(Panting)

- We can hide in the cupboard!

Oh no, it's full of cookies!

There's no room for us!

(Robot whirring)

- (Gasps)

- (mouthful) There's room now!

Uh-oh.

(Splats)

- This rots.

- Threat contained.

(Beeping)

- Ha! If a little water messed you up,

let's see what a lot of water does!

AHHHHHH! EAT HOSE!

- Duncan. Leader of the enemy forces.

Detected.

Prepare to be exterminated.

- Goodbye, cruel world.

(Approaching rattling)

- Psst. Duncan. Where's the robot?

Um...You parked on her.

(Fizzles)

- BOOM! West side wiener caaaaats!

WHA WHAAT?

(Cheering, laughing)

- Swiss, swiss, swiss. (Cheese splats)

(Whimpering)

- Admit it. You missed us.

(Begins to weep) - I want my bubble bath!

(Weeping)