01x09 - Ant We All Just Get Along

[bunniefuu]

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Kids: (Groaning)

- What in the sweet apple pie is going on here?

Why are you all moping around doing nothing?

- Chef, we're boooorrrrred.

(Thuds)

- You're surrounded by fun and games.

This game is literally called "fun: the game".

Announcer: Have you played "fun the game"?

If you wanna have fun.

Play fun, fun, fun the game.

If you wanna have fun all day, play fun the game.

Fun! Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun the game.

- Thhhhhhuuuuupppffffff!

- Yeah, what she said.

- Okay. Know what? Outside.

Let's go.

Go on. That's it.

Complainers stay outside.

(Door slams)

(Thunk) Hmph.

Don't tell me that's not fun.

Hee hee! (Punch)

Okay, now Chef, don't get carried away,

you'll have to give yourself a time out.

- I found something awesome, guys!

- What is it?

- I thought it was a mini volcano at first,

but it turns out it's a real live anthill!

All: Ooooooh...

(Mariachi music plays)

- I love bugs. Bees are my fave, obvi.

But ants are pretty cool too.

- That's just pile of dirt!

What's so great about-- ahhhhhhhh!

Bugs! Bugs! Get them away from me!

- They're just ants, Leshawna!

Aw, I think this one likes me.

- But they won't hurt anyone. Right, buddy?

I bet you're hungry.

Here's a crumb.

One for you...

another for me.

I always have a little snack in my pockets for emergencies.

Want one?

- Yes!

- It's still warm. From my body.

- Are you crazy? Don't feed it - squish it!

- No! They're our friends!

- Well, I'm not coming down from here until you squish them.

- They can climb things, you know.

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Yes, I'm really scared of bugs, okay?

Nothing with eyes that beady should have that many legs.

If bugs were meant to be,

then why did someone invent, bug zappers?

(Buzzes)

- Yee-haw! The train goes choo choo!

The plane goes fly fly!

The puppy goes woof, woof, woof!

Bored, my butt! (Slurping)

If you're not having fun here you're not trying!

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All: Yeah! Woohoo!

- Hey! If you don't squish those ants

they're gonna go right into your pants!

- I'm with her - ants in your pants are not sanitary!

- Problemo solved.

- Aw, they really like your pants, Jude!

- Outta my way, it's zappin' time!

(Buzzing)

(Horrified screams)

- I won't let you hurt them!

- Wait! How would adults solve this conflict

in a civilized way?

Court TV announcer: What you are witnessing is real.

These kids are not actors.

They are actual litigants

willing to have their dispute settled here

in the playground court.

(Squeaky thud)

- Okay. I will now hear the case

of save ants vs. Squish ants.

I'm not a real judge so I have no idea what I'm doing,

but I love the noise this hammer makes.

(Squeaky thud)

- Your honor, ants are tiny, innocent creatures!

They have friends, and live in colonies.

- Yeah, and they can carry times their weight

on their little backs!

- Aw! That's amazing!

- Then I rule that these ants should be--

- Hey! I didn't get to tell you my side yet.

- Do judges have to hear both sides?

- Yes! - Kinda.

- Oh, carry on then.

- Fact. Ants lead to rats, and rats lead to coyotes.

Is that what you all want?

A playground full of hungry coyotes?

- No! Coyotes are terrifying!

- And we don't know what kind of ants these are.

They could be fire ants.

(Fire whooshes)

- (Gasps)

- I object! Fire ants do not fart fire!

- I farted fire once. Wanna hear about it?

- No!

Maybe later.

- Your honor, these ants are clearly a threat to society.

- Guys, c'mon. They're just ants.

Helpless little ants--

(Robotic voice) We ants mean you no harm.

We just want to live in peace and harmony.

All: (Gasp)

(Shiver) What was I saying?

- That ant just took over his brain!

- That really didn't help our case.

- I'm gonna get you, you little brain snatcher!

Stay still Owen!

- No! Leave the ant alone!

(Squeaky thud) - Order in the court, dude!

- Your honor, you saw what just happened!

Ants are evil!

- Oh yeah... talk about evil,

my aunt is always pinching my cheeks.

And she gives the worst birthday presents.

What kind of kid needs a loofah?

- Ooh, I'll take it if you don't want it.

- Hey, Beth is taking off with the ants!

If we don't stop her,

who knows whose brain they'll take over next?

- Ah! They're coming! We gotta hide.

Hurry, behind that tree!

- Hey, where did they go?

Leshawna: There!

They've got too much of a head start.

How are we gonna stop them?!

- Hmm...

Announcer: Cars go fast. They're so cool!

gears of awesome - flower power seats -

happy hub caps and the all new cheetah engine !

(Cheetah roars)

- Oooooh, yeah!

You drive, I'll navigate.

(Seatbelts click, engine hums)

- Hang tight little guys!

- (Gasps) They're after us,

and they've got a car!

- This way! They'll never reach us up here!

- Oh no. Let's try up here!

- This oughta slow 'em down.

- Ohhh... - Uhhh...

- Oh no! We're all done for.

Goodbye lil' buddies.

(Car honks, engine roars)

- Come with me if you want to live!

(in unison) We're saved!

- I was talking to the ants.

But you guys can get in if you want.

(Seatbelts click, tires squeal)

(Engines roar)

- Wooooo! - Ha ha ha ha!

- Whipped cream? On pizza?

Well, if you say so!

Haha! Food fight! Food fight! Food fight!

Haha! Daycare is the best!

(Engines roar)

Leshawna: Ugh. Hey!

- I didn't know you liked ants so much, Izzy!

- I don't. I just love going really fast!

Owen: Is that a circus tent?

- Ahhhhhh!

- (Munching)

Look out!

(Engines roar, door shuts)

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(Honk)

(Laughing)

(Loud fart) - Eww!

(Canon booms)

All: Ahhh!

(Boing! Boing!)

- Everybody get ready to bail.

- Bail? - What?!

- Now! - Ahhhhhhhhh...

(Crash)

- Eeeh hee hee hee ha!

Quick. Into the hideout!

- There! They're in the treehouse.

We're not letting you in, ant squishers!

- (Growls) C'mon. I have an idea.

- Are you sure about this?

- Yup. Okay, Cody,

we're going to launch you into the treehouse.

Once you're in there,

- (Whimpers)

- I mean, we'll squeeze them and make them our best friends.

Ready, Cody?

-Ha. I was born ready...eeeeeeee!

- Hi Cody. Owen: Bye Cody!

- That never happened.

- But how long can we stay up here?

- As long as it takes!

- (Gasp) They're coming up!

Quick, eat the ants!

- What?!

(Quivering)

- No! I have a better idea.

I need a slingshot;

Owen, gimmie your underwear.

- Okay!

- How did you do that? - I don't know.

- They're almost at the window!

- Both of you grab a side and pull!

- (Grunts)

- Goodbye ant friends.

Fly safe!

- Be free little bug friends!

Live your lives!

- What a beautiful day for a picnic.

We should eat outside all the-(Thud)

- Ooh! (Gasp)

Oh no! My wheatberry salad!

At least leave the vinaigrette!

- I did it! The ants are free!

- The bugs are gone. So I did it.

- (Laughs)

Everyone wins! What a perfect day.

- Kids! Come inside!

It's show and tell time.

Mac and Maisy here have been having fun with Chef all day.

We heard how much fun you were having

with the little ant hill so we called the pet store,

and brought in some new friends to look at.

Scorpions!

(Jar clinks)

(All gasp)

- Run! k*ller scorpions!

- Aw, guys. Scorpions are our friends!

They don't mean any - oww!

Chef, the scorpion pinched me! Squish it!

Squish it, squish it! All: Ahhhh!