03x05 - Greasy Badge of Honor

[bunniefuu]

Dele, tell me about school.

How did you do on your algebra test? I got an A
-plus, same as my science quiz.

And did you do your literature homework? There was none.

I did a book report anyway.

My teacher was confused but gave me an "A.

" Good.

And how are all your international classmates? What have I always told you about getting along with kids of different backgrounds? Befriend them, surpass them and make them wish they were Nigerian.

Don't worry, Mum.

I'm doing fine.


- Okay.


- How are you? How did you do on your MCAT practice test? Ugh, I didn't have a chance to take it yet.

I thought you were doing it last week.

Yes, but work was very busy and then Bob wanted to take me to see a movie.

Uh
-uh.

A movie? Yes.

It was date night.

Mum, your studies should always come before dating and lollygagging.

Yes, Dele.

At this rate, I'll become a doctor before you.


- Yes, Dele.


- All right.

Let's go over biochemical foundations.

Ugh, I forgot my textbook at work.

Abishola Wheeler, what have I always told you about Dele.

We are done with the teasing.

Yes, Mum.

Knock
-knock.


- Hello.


- Mind if we interrupt? We have something very special for you.

Okay.

You should stand.

We saw all the beautiful traditions that you had at your wedding and we thought we'd include you in one of ours.

Aw.

Gloves? My grandmother, Rosemary Gilbert, gave a pair of gloves to each of her daughters when they became women.

And they did the same for their daughters.

I was afraid Christina was gonna be the end of the line.

Thank God you came along.

Anyway, Great
-Grandma Gilbert would be so proud.

Oh, no, she'd hate it.

She was old
-school.

You know, women shouldn't vote, Black people aren't people that sort of thing.

Well, I'm glad she's not here to see this.

She is, too, sweetie.

"Abdow"? Oh, it's
-it's your initials.

Abishola Bolatito Doyinsola Oluwatoyin and now Wheeler.

My grandmother wanted us always to present ourselves well.


- Mm.


- To make sure everybody knew we were better than them.

Of course, that's not how we feel now.

Eh.

Well, thank you very much.

I am so honored.

The honor is ours.

Oh.

And along with this presentation comes another tradition.


- Girls' day!
- Girls' day! Yeah.

Gonna get our makeup and hair done.

Do a little shopping, go to the spa.

In my time, girls' day ended with being paraded in front of the menfolk at the Cherry Pie Dance.

Ew.

Relax, it wasn't creepy.

You just had to sit on an old man's lap and sing him a song.

Well, we're still gonna get dolled up, but we're doing it for ourselves.

Because we are bad b*tches.

I thought we couldn't say that word.

No, we've reclaimed it.

Oh, great.

Abishola, grab your stuff.

Christina, you're driving, bitch.

Mom, we got to talk context.

What are you doing? Dropping things on my feet.

Because? I am testing the steel toes of my new boots.

Well, do not waste company time.

Do they work? So far.

At lunch, Jerry's going to lend me his bowling ball.

That will be the real test.

Huh.

Hey, fellas.


- Kofo, nice boots.


- Thank you.

I made a trip to the outlet stores.

Where the discounts are crazy and everything must go! Yeah.

But it's worse quality stuff.

Is that true? Good point.

I don't know.

Our company should open an outlet store.

That is ridiculous.


- It's not a bad idea.


- Exactly! All the best brands do it.

And since MaxDot is the very best brand, we should do the same.

I like it.

You think you could work up a proposal? Yes, Mr.

Wheeler.

Great.

Run with it.

I will run with it like the wind, Mr.

Wheeler! Wow.

Check out New Boots.

I do not know what happened.

I had an idea, I said it and he liked it.

Way to go, man.

Better watch out, Goodwin.

Pretty soon, we'll all be working for this guy.

Over my dead body.


- Ooh.


- Ooh.

Thank you.

This is what I needed.

I speak English.

Oh.

Well, and I speak Vietnamese.

Look at us.

Couple of bilingual bi people.

Other hand, please.

Yep.

Uh, no, thank you.

I don't like to drink during the day.

That's 'cause you're not used to it.

You got to work it like a muscle.

Yeah, Mom's liver can run a marathon.

Uh Well, it's important to exercise.

There you go.

You got to admit, it's nice to get off your feet.

You are always off your feet.

It's a figure of speech.

We are women in this world.

We've been on our feet for 2,000 years.

She's right.

You agree with me? Every once in a while, you back into one.

I've been raising kids and running a business since 1973.

And I've always said, if you don't take a little me time, you'll snap and m*rder your whole family.

I've never heard you say that.

I say it in here.

Need some help there, Flo
-Jo?
- What?
- Nice nails.

They're beautiful but so impractical.

Yeah.

Wait until you clean up your first Code Brown.

I did not think about that.

Uh
-huh.

You're gonna get a fill
-in you didn't pay for.


- They are pretty, though.


- Yes, they are.

And I deserve to do something for myself.

Don't we all? Yes, but I deserve it more.

Is that right? Yes.

I work harder than any other nurse on this floor.

I work on this floor, too.

I know.

All right, Freddy Krueger.

Mr.

Wilson in 408 needs a catheter inserted.

Good luck to you.

Even better luck to him.

Good morning, Mr.

Wheeler.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to present to you what I feel is the future of our company.

Impressive.

What are you doing here? Watching my cousin betray me.

Also, I brought you stew.


- Thank you.


- So, how long have you been planning to take my job? That's not my intention.

And yet here you are, practicing the very words that will shove me right off Sock Mountain.

My success does not have to be at the expense of yours.

Perhaps we can work together.

Like the Property Brothers.

Let's renovate our relationship.

You actually believe that's possible? I do.

I would never do anything to undermine you, cousin.

You have done so much for me.


- Well, then perhaps you can do something for me.


- Anything.

Cancel your presentation.

Not that thing.

Mm.

You have come a long way, Kofo.

It is unfortunate that this is where your journey will end.

Badly.


- We shall see.


- Mm
-hmm.

Thank you for the stew, cousin.

You're welcome.

Mmm.

Delicious.

What is that spice? Laxatives.

Hey, girl! Hello, girl.

Oh.

Yesterday was so much fun.


- It was.


- You know, we should do it again.

Without Mom.

Right? Or whatever you prefer.

But I would prefer without Mom.

Christina, I'm trying to study.

Oh.

Sorry.

Yeah, you study.

I'll just do my thang.

What is that? Oh, it's just a fun way to say "thing.

" Oh.

Okay.

Do your thang.

Boy, them bubbles are loud.

That was me.

It's an article on women in medicine.

I
-It's right up your alley.

Thank you.

I'll read it later.

Me again.

Sorry.


- It's a gluten
-free cinnamon roll.


- Oh.

A recipe? Just a picture.

Ah.

It does look good.

I did not eat breakfast.

Well, no wonder you can't focus.

I know a great brunch spot.

I should really study.

But it's brunch.

That's breakfast and lunch.

It's two meals in one.

You're actually saving time.

Okay.

Maybe a little break, just to eat.

Yes.

Exactly.

Just a little break.

And, you know, maybe, afterwards, we can recharge with a little shopping.

No.

No little shopping.

Got it.

No shopping.

Just brunch.

It's just brunch.

It's just brunch.

Just brunch! You should not have allowed me to drink like that.


- Honey, I wasn't there.


- Please, do not argue with me.

I'm not Okay.

Here, drink this down.

It'll help.


- What is it?
- You don't want to know.

And don't smell it, either.

Just choke the rest of that down and then sleep it off.

I cannot sleep it off.

I have work to do.

I was supposed to take another practice test.

What am I going to tell Dele? Tell him you're a human being that makes mistakes.

I will never tell him that.

I should've seen this coming.

What? That I would become a wino? You're not a wino.

You're just stressed.

You left Dele in Nigeria, we got married, you moved in, you're studying to be a doctor.

That's a lot on someone's plate.

It was only a matter of time before you That's exactly what my head feels like.

I'm never going to drink again.

Aw, come on.

At least cut loose once a year, just so I can take care of you.

Nurse Bob.


- Oh, no, I smelt it.


- Stay here! I'll get the trash can.

Thank you for the ride, Douglas.

No problem.

Flat tires suck.


- Lucky I was driving by your place.


- It is.

Do you mind if we stop by a doughnut shop? They are for the meeting with Mr.

Wheeler.

Trying to get in good with the boss.

Smart.

Oh, no.

They are for torpedoing my cousin.

No matter what Kofo says in his presentation, all Mr.

Wheeler will be thinking is when can he have a Boston cream.

His favorite.

Yes! At a certain point, I will slide the box over to Mr.

Wheeler.

As we leave, he will say, "Great job, Goodwin" and pat me on the shoulder, leaving a greasy badge of honor.

You got it all figured out.

Kofo may have good ideas, but challenging me was not one of them.

If Kofo wanted to b*at you, he'd have to plan three steps ahead.

Impossible.

He cannot even plan his next meal.

Yeah, to get one over on you, he'd have to wake up early, let air out of your tire, recruit someone to drive you out to the middle of nowhere.

Someone who's spent a lifetime in the shadow of an older relative.

Douglas.

This is not the way to doughnuts.

No, Goodwin.

No, it is not.

Hey.

Is Goodwin gonna join us? He had car trouble.

Did he call you? No.

But I know he had car trouble.

Perhaps we should just start.

I know you are a very busy man.

Ooh, Boston cream.

Uh
-uh.

I've missed this.

What, the cold, hard seats? Or the smell of B.

O.

and egg salad? I'm talking about riding the bus with you.

I've missed it, too.

These days, I have to talk to myself.

Which is good, because it stops people from sitting next to me.

I think I'm going to do this more often.

You know? Get back to simpler times.

What does that mean? You know, the way things were.

No fancy nails, no mimosas.

Just people working and striving to make their lives better, day in and day out.

Why are you talking like a senator? I'm reconnecting.

With your simple friend.


- Kemi.


- Oh, I understand.

You want to come visit me, like a living museum of your past.

"Oh, back when Kemi and I were friends, milk was ten cents a gallon.

" You are being ridiculous.

We poor people often are.


- Maybe we should stop talking.


- Maybe we should.

I really missed these fights.

Me, too.

Look, Tunde, the future doctor
- has made a house call.


- Ah.

My beautiful niece.


- Uncle, it's so good to see you.


- Mm.


- E kaale,Auntie.


- Ah.

Kaale, Morenike.


- The food smells delicious.


- Thank you.

Since your cousin has moved in, we have been eating like kings.

Thank you, Uncle.

But when you lived here, we also enjoyed your cooking.

Yes.

But now we eat like kings.


- May I help with the royal feast?
- Oh, no.

You are a guest.

And we do not want you to ruin those beautiful nails.

Oh.

It's okay.

I was going to trim them tomorrow anyway.


- Ah.

Let me help with that.


- Not the paper towels!
- What?
- I was told we do not waste paper towels for every little spill.

That is why God made leftover Wendy's napkins.

Oh.

I
-I'm sorry.

I forgot.

Of course you did.

You are a fancy lady now.

Pay attention, Morenike.

If you follow in Abishola's footsteps, one day, you will be just as wasteful.

I certainly hope so.

I will buy you another roll.

Throwing money at the problem.

We are so proud of the person you have become.

Uh what is this extra charge on your debit card? Oh, uh, I had to buy a snack at school.


- I skipped breakfast.


- Never skip breakfast.


- Yes, Mum.


- Skipping breakfast can only lead to one thing: brunch.

Doesn't that save time? Breakfast and lunch together? That is what they want you to think.

Next thing you know, you are in Bloomingdale's buying an expensive coat that does not even keep you warm! Is that what you want for your life?
- No?
- No! It is not.

Stay focused, Dele.

Do not lose track of what is important.

Okay, Mum.

So, do you want to study? Oh.

I would, but I have a previous engagement.

Didn't you hear me honking? It's mimosa time, bitch! What did she say? Nothing.

Remember, no brunch.


- No brunch?
- Ah.

For the boy.

He cannot handle it.


- Let's go.


- Mm
-hmm.