03x02 - The Break-Up

[bunniefuu]

Oh, come on, Darrin

can't you see

that's not Samantha?

Don't you have homework?

Hello?

That's what the bus is for.

- -Is dinner ready yet?
- -No.

Ray's still working on it.

- Well, I think it's wonderful
- that ray enjoys cooking.

- Yeah and dad's getting
- better at it too.

Yeah I know they say

men make the best chefs.

All I know is, that's a real

fine quality in a man, girls.

- Oh, but on the other hand,
- a girl's got to eat.

But she doesn't have

to eat this much.

-I ordered Chinese.

-I ordered Mexican.

- Now look, we don't want to
- hurt Ray's feelings.

- So lets get this stuff upstairs
- before he sees us.

Athena's grecian palace.

Well, who ordered Greek?

I did.

♪ Talk about

a two-way twister ♪

♪ shakin' up the family tree

with sibling synchronicity ♪

- ♪ never knew how much
- I missed ya ♪

- ♪ Never knew
- how much I missed ya ♪

♪ I ain't ever

gonna let you go! ♪

Hi, Tia. I'm free tonight.

- The movie starts at 8:00.
- What time should I pick you up?

This is for you, Roger.

What's this, money for popcorn?

No. It's a dollar

so you can buy a clue.

Man, that's cold.

- But at least I'm starting
- to turn a profit.

Hi, tamera.

- -Good-bye, Roger.
- -Cheapskate.

Pathetic.

Oh, wait, I must have

missed all the women

hanging on your arm.

I'm pacing myself.

And it's working.

- Listen, I think I know what - my
problem is with women, - Frankie.

You're ugly?

No.

See that dude? One woman.

See that other dude? One woman.

And me, no woman.

Now what does that tell you?

Tells me I'm hanging

with the wrong dude.

No, my problem is,

I'm going after both Tia

and tamera.

Neither twin feels special.

I got to make a choice.

- How are you going to choose
- between Tia and tamera?

I'm a sensitive, caring person.

I'll just say this

in a very delicate way.

I'll kick one twin to the curb.

Which one?

Good question, Franklin.

Should I go

with the studious,

button-down Tia Landry

- or the reckless, devil-may-care
- tamera Campbell?

Yeah, Frankie, tamera. I'm

definitely going for tamera.

Excuse me, tamera.

Oops, I'm sorry.

Oh, it's just you, Roger.

I think I should go for Tia.

Good idea.

- Alright, alright
- good game, Terrence,

- I would have had you
- had I been hitting my "j."

Or even the backboard.

- All right.
- Next time, full court.

We're on.

Hey, baby, you ready

for tonight?

Dot and etta's shrimp hut?

You got it.

- I'm going back
- and get me a beer.

You want anything, Terrence?

I mean that I can get you?

I mean, from the refrigerator?

I mean... ah, never mind.

- You know baby we always go
- to dot and etta's.

I thought tonight

we'd go somewhere

a little more elegant.

Tonight is the special night

- I got something
- important I want to ask you.

- You're not asking me
- to marry you again, are you?

Well, yeah. Will you?

No.

Well, might as well go

to dot and etta's.

Wait, why won't you marry me?

I mean, I want kids.

My biological clock is ticking.

We'll you wanna have kids?

Fine, go right ahead.

- If you want me to have kids,
- you can forget it.

I don't want to spend

another nine months

carrying a child.

Wait a minute.

You adopted Tia.

- Yeah, but I still had
- to carry her.

I couldn't afford a stroller.

Well, if you marry me

you wouldn't have

to worry about that.

I'm the manager of a food boy.

What does that mean?

You'll steal me

a shopping cart?

It means I'll take care of us

and baby Terry.

- I'm getting
- morning sickness already.

Look, we'll just talk

about this later tonight.

Bye, baby.

Safe to come in here, you two?

Where's Terrence?

He had to get to the food boy.

- You two sure look like
- you're in love.

He asked me to marry him again.

- You're gonna marry him
- this time?

No. I'm going

to break up with him.

That will hurt the marriage.

- Look, Rey, I can't continue
- to lead him on.

Terrence wants to get married

and have a big family.

I don't even want a hamster.

I gotta be honest with him.

I like Terrence.

I want what's best for him.

I should give him his freedom

so he can find somebody else.

You want to date other guys?

Oh, yeah.

- Sure you wanna do this?
- I mean, you're giving up a lot.

I know, he's a wonderful man.

Not to mention

all those wonderful gifts

he showers me with.

- That day old bread, them dinner
- cans, the slightly bruised - Fruit.

- Gotta make some sacrifices,
- you know.

Have you told Tia?

Oh no. I better go talk to her.

- Tia and Terrence
- were really close.

Hope she's okay with this.

- Well, maybe I'll take her
- some of these

Dented generic

factory second irregular,

one-ply food boy tissues.

- Tia, can I talk
- to you a minute?

Sure.

Honey, this may be painful

but we'll get

through it together.

What is it, mom?

I...

I've decided to break up

with Terrence.

Well, duh.

What do you mean, "well, duh"?

I totally understand.

You do?

Yeah. You and Terrence

want different things.

He probably wants

to get married

and have a family.

Well you already have a family

- and you just want
- to date other men.

Boy, you are certainly

wise beyond your years.

- I was sitting two feet
- from the door

And heard

the whole conversation.

Tamera.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

- It's important.
- It's about our relationship.

Oh, you mean the one where

you grovel at my feet

and I humiliate you?

It's that kind of sarcasm

that has brought me

to this tough decision.

It's over between us.

Us? You and me, over?

- You may be laughing
- on the outside

But we both know

what's going on inside.

I'm laughing on the inside too.

- None of your body
- will be laughing

When I tell you this.

There's someone else.

Good for you, Roger.

Who's the poor, pathetic skag?

- Actually, Tia's
- the poor, pathetic skag.

Tia's the apple of my eye,

the lemon in my pledge

the fruit of my looms.

For example, the way

she opens her locker...

So slow, so poetic,

so not painful.

Whatever.

She's so unique.

Her hair, her eyes, her mouth.

- We have the exact
- same stuff, Roger.

But your stuff's got

a bad attitude.

Yeah! I broke up with him

right in the middle

of dot and etta's shrimp hut.

You wouldn't believe

the crying.

Terrence started crying?

No, dot and etta.

They really love Terrence.

- But he was
- a little sniffly too.

It's been pretty tough.

- Terrance was so upset, - he
could'nt even finish - His shrimp gumbo

And I got so upset,

that I did finish

his shrimp gumbo.

Sorry to hear that.

- We'll it had to be done.
- I just hope Terrance realises - This is all for the best.

- Yeah! Hope he gets over it
- before the piston game tonight.

- You're going
- to the game with him?

You don't mind, do you?

No, no, no. You just

be his friend.

Share his pain.

Let yours be that

shoulder he can lean on.

- Probably won't be
- much fun at first.

But I'm sure,

in a couple of months

he'll be his old self again.

People grieve in many

different ways.

Oh, Lisa, this is

so embarrassing.

You don't need

to be embarrassed.

No, I meant for you.

- You said you were going out
- on a date tonight.

Well, he's on his way.

There was a late vote

in the senate.

Hi. I'm patrice.

And I'm Donna.

Hi.

So nice to meet you.

The poor man was so broken up

he went out and picked up the

first two bimbos he could find.

This is so sad.

Patrice here is a professor

of English lit

at Wayne state university

and Donna

is a pediatric specialist

at beaumont hospital.

Terrence asked me to marry him

and I turned him down, twice.

- Why don't you guys
- wait in the limo for us?

Limo?!

- Terrence, you never took me
- anywhere in no limo!

That's because all

the time I was saving

up for our wedding.

But now, party!

- Fine. Just do
- whatever you want to do.

Oh! By the way ray,

change of plans.

I scored us four tickets

for motown on ice.

Motown on ice!

- You know, Terrence, I can't
- blame Lisa for getting upset.

This is pretty

insensitive of you

- bringing two women
- over like this.

Donna's for you.

You the man!

Lisa, what are you doing?

Cleaning.

So, how was motown on ice?

Oh, you haven't lived

till you've seen Brian boitano

moon-skate to "sexual healing."

- Why are you throwing away
- the canned food?

I'm getting rid of everything

we bought from that man's store

and giving it to the hungry.

Yeah, then we'll be hungry.

Why are you getting upset?

- You told him you wanted
- to date other people.

- Yes. I wanted
- to date other people.

- I didn't say anything
- about him dating other people.

Listen. Lisa, I hope

my hanging out with Terrence

won't be a problem for you.

- No, not going to be a
- problem for me.

- But if I see
- that man around here again,

- It'll be a problem for
- our legal system.

- So it's all right if I see him, - just
so I don't bring him - Around here.

No. Can't you read

between the lines?

Well, why not?

- I want to hang out
- with Terrence.

I will tell you why not, ray.

- Because seeing him
- around here not depressed

And not miserable

will just make me

depressed and miserable.

- If it'll make you feel better
- he's not that happy either.

Really?

- Yeah. He's got a date tonight
- with three different women.

- I don't know how he's going
- to get out of that one.

- Ray, if you don't have
- anything horrible to say

- About Terrence,
- just don't say anything at all.

Let me get that for you, Tia.

Ow!

Hi, mom. Hi, ray.

- Honey, I hope
- you're not too hungry.

- Dinner's going to be
- a little light, tonight.

- Thanks for getting
- the door, Roger.

- You can give me back
- my books now, Roger.

I'm home.

By the way, Tia, I made you a

lunch for tomorrow.

Roger...

Well, it would be

a shame to waste

- a heart-shaped
- Bologna sandwich.

- I hope you didn't
- make my lunch!

Don't worry. I didn't.

Good.

- Tia, I have something
- to ask you...

The one date you can't refuse.

Okay. Try me.

How 'bout you and me..?

No.

- Tamera, can I ask you
- something?

- Let me stop you
- right there, Roger.

I won't go out with you either.

Actually,

I need the 411 on Tia.

I want to surprise her

take her someplace special,

fun and romantic.

- I don't think
- you heard me, Roger.

I said I would not

go out with you.

- Yeah. I heard you,
- but I'm not asking you out.

- My best friend, Frankie,
- he's desperate.

Maybe he'll go out with you.

- I don't know.
- I can't promise you.

Anyway, it's got to be

someplace loud enough

so if Tia yells at me,

no one will hear.

Hey, bowling.

Yeah. She likes to bowl.

Great.

I like to bowl too.

Well, maybe Tia and I

will see you

around the lanes.

As if.

Hey! I'm supposed

to say, "as if"!

Good game, ray!

Yeah. See you later!

Terrence.

That you, ray?!

Yeah.

- Was that Terrence
- I heard outside?

Uh, no! No. No.

Good.

Could you get me

my sewing basket

from the end table?

Yeah. I'll bring it right up.

Never mind. I'll come get it.

- No, no, no, no.
- I'll bring it up for you.

Okay.

So how was your date?

Oh, uh, it was lovely.

Yes, lovely.

Uh, we went to, um...

A little French restaurant

over there on... on...

On woodward... le petit bistro.

I... I had,

uh, the duck l'orange

and she had, uh, steak Diane,

I think it was.

It was a little dry,

but we washed it down

with a fine Merlot.

What did you have for dessert?

- Uh, chocolate souffle,
- I believe it was.

Oh, what's her name?

I forgot.

Oh, never mind.

I'll come get it.

Oh! My grandmother

always told me

- if you want to get anything -
done you've got to - Do it yourself.

You found it. Ha!

Ray, there's something

I want to say

to you about Terrence.

- I haven't seen him. - I don't know where he is.
- I have no contact with him

I know. I just want you to know

- that I appreciate
- everything you've done.

I want to thank you.

- You've been very respectful
- of my feelings

- By not hanging around
- with Terrence.

Oh, well... good night.

Oh, ray, about that headband.

I can explain this.

No, you can't. Lose it.

It went out in the '70s.

Oh, hi, tamera.

- I know. I know.
- You came by to see Tia.

Well, she's at the library.

Beauty and brains.

At least she doesn't try

to get by on just her looks.

Anyway, tell her I came by.

Nice flowers.

- Just one of the benefits
- of being my woman.

Roger, why don't you come in?

- We need to straighten
- some things out.

Good idea, 'cause when

Tia and I get married

- you and I
- are going to be related

- And there's nothing
- that destroys a marriage faster

Than nasty, jealous in-laws.

So what's on your mind?

You're not bothering

me anymore, Roger.

Yeah?

That's bothering me.

Really?

- I kind of miss the way
- you used to spend hours on end

- Following me around
- and giving me the creeps.

- We did have something,
- didn't we?

Yeah. I guess we did.

We can get it back if we try.

What about Tia?

- Don't worry your little head.
- I'll just let her down gently.

Tia, you're toast.

Fine.

In time you'll get over it.

So why did you bring me

the flowers?

Uh... these aren't for you.

Boy, what an ego.

They're for tamera.

Wait a minute.

Tamera?

Well, what's wrong with me?

You got here late.

But he said I was special.

Obviously, not quite

special enough.

Oh, really?

What is that supposed to mean?

I think you know

what it means, Tia.

- No. I don't think
- I know what it means!

Wait! Girls! No!

- I know a way we can settle
- this.

Why don't you just get

into something skimpy

and wrestle over me?

Shut up, Roger.

- Hey, don't tell
- Roger to shut up.

- -Thank you.
- -I tell Roger to shut up.

Shut up, Roger!

- Well, if that's
- how you feel, he's yours.

You take him.

I don't want him! You take him!

I don't want him!

- Wait a minute.
- I'm running out of twins.

- Hold it, hold it, hold it.
- Hold up.

You thought I wanted Roger?

Yeah. Don't you?

Me want Roger?

What a joke.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

- You couldn't have
- thought I wanted him.

Can you believe this?

We're fighting over...

Roger!

- I won't tell anybody
- if you don't.

I'd rather die first.

Me too!

- I've got 'em
- right where I want 'em.

What's the problem?

Didn't the ref see that?

Come on!

- Ray, you want
- something else to drink?

-Yeah, sure.

-Uh, excuse me, miss.

That's Tonya, and what

can I get you, handsome?

Oh... uh, we'll just

take two more beers.

Either these are

really expensive beers

or that's your phone number.

- I just wanted you
- to have it at your fingertips.

Ooh, the service here

is great, isn't it?

- Oh, by the way my boss said
- we can definitely use

His cabin up at traverse city

- so we can get
- some fishing in next weekend.

I don't think I can

make it after all.

- Wh-wh-what are
- you talking about?

- Sorry, Terrence.
- I can't see you anymore.

Ray...

Ray, I-I-I thought

we were hitting it off.

Terrence, it's just not

working out, all right?

What? I-I-I don't understand.

What about our plans?

- What about our weekend
- at the cabin?

What? What did I do?

It's not you, okay?

It's someone else.

Who?

It's Lisa, okay?

- She has a real problem
- with my seeing you.

- Yeah. I hear
- what you're saying, man.

I guess we did sort of put you

in the middle of it.

- Maybe in time,
- if things change.

Yeah. Right. Right, right.

I'm going to miss you, man.

Back at you.

Uh, I'll call you later, Tonya?

What a waste.

Hey, breakups are tough.

Buy you a drink?

Check!

Hi, Lisa.

You know, I've been

giving your feelings

a lot of consideration

- and well, I had a talk
- with Terrence, and I...

These are food boy bags.

Yeah.

- You said you'd never
- set foot in there again.

I got hungry.

So what about Terrence?

- Well, I've been hanging out
- with Terrence behind your back.

You have?

- Yeah, but we had a talk
- and I told him we couldn't

Hang out together anymore.

- You're never going
- to see Terrence again?

It's no big deal.

- Out of consideration
- for my feelings?

Absolutely.

Are you crazy?

- You thought I never wanted
- you to see Terrence again?

Where'd you get that idea?

From you.

- Oh, ray, that was
- just breakup talk.

- So you're saying you don't mind
- if I see Terrence.

You've got to see him.

- I need somebody
- to tell me how he's doing

- Who he's dating,
- how his life is deteriorating.

Suppose I want him back?

You are my in.

- Call Terrence and tell him
- you want to see him again.

No. I'm not calling him

and beg him

to be my friend again.

No. Forget it.

I'm sorry. You're right, ray.

I have some pride.

- You know, you could
- just ask him

- Could you borrow a tool
- or something, you know?

- Good idea. Then
- we could just...

Ease into it.

Well Frankie, my plan

didn't work out.

- I've been trying to
- make things happen.

- I have to let them
- happen naturally.

- Like helping her out
- when her locker's stuck.

Exactly.

Problem with your locker?

- -Can I help?
- -Sure.

Thanks, Roger.

Hi, Roger.

You're good, Roger.

Shut up and get the nurse.