05x05 - Smoke Gets In Your Thighs

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "L.A. Law"...

Okay, look this is a SLAPP suit and I'm a little disappointed.

Bringing in four lawyers, trying to scare me,

that isn't very nice.


-Stuart?
-What's wrong?

What is it?

Is he... is he having a heart attack?

Douglas, call an ambulance.


-Here.
-What's this?

It's a complaint in Federal court alleging civil rights violations,

abuse of process, harassment.

And punitive damages.

Arnie says heart att*cks can make you croak.

I'm not gonna croak, Benny.

I just had a little tiny heart attack.

Why don't you come to work for me?

I'd have to think about it.

You are interested?

Yeah, I'm interested.

If we're going to have a problem,

let's at least be honest about it.

Doctor said sex is okay.

It's not going to k*ll me.

I know.

As for the Rosalind Shays verdict,

that's an aberration.

The finding is wholly unsupported by the evidence

and the award outrageously excessive.

You seem to know how to have fun.

Yeah, well, the truth is

I've probably had more fun in the last four days than

I've had it the last four years.

Come on, you're supposed to say me too.

I was just trying to help!

That doesn't help, passing yourself off as an attorney.

Lying to the media, that doesn't help.

So you don't want me to help?


-No!
-No!

I'm going to this black tie thing tomorrow

and I had to try it on.

You look fantastic.

Thanks.

This thing is with Jack Sollers?

Yeah.

You like this guy, huh?

Yeah.

I was in third grade.

We'd just gotten back from recess and we were supposed

to have a math test.

But Mrs. Goldstein told us to put our heads down instead,

and then she started reading "O Captain my Captain"

and we were laughing and giggling

and fooling around, but then we stopped because...

because we could see that she was crying.

And then the principal came in and told us,

and we went home.

Where were you?

Student Union, USC.

I still remember the song they were playing.

The Platters were singing "Only You".

Then some guy ran in and said he was shot.

Who was your first love?

What?

Well, come on.

Oh, I don't...

Oh...

It was fifth grade,

and... it was Erik Martinez.

I was fascinated by his braces.

Until you kissed him.

I never kissed him. I was too shy.

Did you break Erik's heart?

No, he broke mine.

Took me out for ice cream

and told me he wanted to be a priest.

Oh, yeah, well.

Do you have any more questions?

Mm
-hmm. Just one.

Will you marry me?

♪♪ [theme]

♪♪

As of today, the men's room will be closed

for approximately three days.

Those affected should make other arrangements.

Other arrangements?

Schaffer and Brown have offered us the use

of their facilities, quid pro quo.

As soon as Mr. Melman finishes the painting,

ours will be back online.

Mr. Melman? You mean Murray?

It gives him something to do, keeps him off the o'clock news

and his bid was the most competitive.


-And you're letting him paint?
-Are you kidding?

He used to paint professionally.

Years ago, and it's a simple job.

Sorry, overslept.

Next order of business:

let us announce the addition of Cara Jean Lamb,

new attorney beginning today.

Evidently beginning late.

New attorney?

This is the woman we were up against in the SLAPP suit.

STUART: You hired her?

Struck a business arrangement suitable to both parties.

She keeps a piece of the business she brings in.

She'll also do work for our clients.

How can I get a deal like that?

At a base salary substantially less than yours.

When did we start cutting such creative packages?

The moment I saw her work.

All right, moving on. IRS vs. Hogan.

Yeah, we're going to trial.

I found three precedents,

we got a cross claim for harassment.

And I think we're going to cream them.

Stuart's been crunching the cod, we're ready.

Excellent.

The Campbell hearing, on or off.

On.

Maybe we can finally get this dog off the books.

Jim Campbell sends a check in every month, Douglas.

Barely enough to cover the Xeroxing.

That's not what's bothering you.

Why don't you just come out and say it?

It's a gay rights case.

It's bad for the firm's image.

Benny, what is that?

I got it yesterday.

It means I'm a child of God.

Aren't we all?

No, only special people get to be children of God.

You got to do a lot of hard stuff.

Like what?

Like pray.

And... there's a special chant that they teach us

for when things go wrong. And we have meetings.

Do you have to pay any money?

Thousand dollars.


-What?
-What?

A thousand dollars?

Benny, you didn't pay them that much money, did you?

Well, yesterday I got a bank check.

Are you nuts?

No.

They're my friends.

Arnold, call Judge Lobel.

Schedule a motion, let's see what we can do.

Yeah.

Wait, what if Benny really wants this?

That's fine, but in the meantime,

let's see if we can stop the check

until we find out.

Okay, we're done here.

Leland?

May I talk to you for a second?

Yes, of course.

I don't think Stuart should litigate the Hogan case.

I'm worried about him, Leland.

Has he had more heart problems?

No, thank God.

But he's still on medication.

The doctors have all warned him to be careful.

He nods and says okay.

And then ignores them.

Well, you heard him in there.

He's already in high gear.

The trial hasn't even stated yet.

Have you told Stuart how you feel?

To be perfectly honest,

I'm scared to even bring it up

given his current state of mind.

If I even hint that he's doing too much,

he gets mad and does more.

Like he's trying to prove me wrong.

I see, I see.

I'm sorry to have to put you in this position,

but... I think it's too early for him to be trying cases.

You want me to be the heavy?

Yes.

All right.

I'll talk to Michael,

and take care of it.

Thank you.

[yawns]

Late night?

I was with Jack Sollers.

I don't know why I said that.

Why not?

I
-
- I mean, I know we're friends,

and adults and all that,

but, well, I don't know how much we're supposed

to share with each other.

Me, neither.

I still care about you, though.

I know that.

I still care about you, too.

Jack asked me to marry him.

Well, what did you say?

That I would think about it.

Do you love him?

He's a wonderful man.

He makes me laugh,

He admires me.

You didn't answer my question.

Excuse me.

Do you love him?

Yeah, I do.

Daddy, you should have used the service elevator.

What's the difference as long as I get here?

I wanted to talk to you about that,

I don't think you should have taken this job.

You haven't painted anything in years.

Do you know what you're doing?

What's the matter? You get the paint, you put it on the wall.

A mental could do it.

Daddy...

Excuse me.

We take our staff meetings very seriously.

They are not optional.

They're an integral part of our office routine.

Okay, got it.

Not so fast.

One other thing...

I was reviewing your list of portables,

and I couldn't help but notice Pat Sajak was one of your clients.

I handled the closing on his new house.

It so happens I love Wheel of Fortune.

I grew up playing hangman,

and whenever I watch the program,

I always solve the puzzle before the contestants.

Terrific.

And...

And...

I was wondering if there's any way

you could help me... get on the show.

That's a big favor, Doug.

I know I'd win. I know it!

Okay, I'll check it out.

Wonderful!

Mr. Campbell, how did you meet Thomas Young?

On a blind date.

We both expected the worst and we ended up falling in love.

Did you make a commitment to each other?

Yes, and we tried to formalize that commitment,

but the state of California

wouldn't give us a marriage license.

We got married anyway in a church on May st, .

And you lived together ever since.

Yes. We bought a home outside of San Francisco

and we were very happy... until three years ago.

What happened then?

We found out Thomas had ALS.

Lou Gehrig's disease.

The doctors... told us that he was going to die.

Over the next two years he gradually became paralyzed.


-Did you take care of him?
-Yes.

Please tell the court what that entailed.

Mainly being with him.

I'd feed him, bathe him.

I'd, of course, empty his bed pan.

Read to him, stay up with him when he had a bad night.

Make sure his friends came and saw him.

And how long had you done this?

For two and a half years.

And I wanted to keep on doing it.

What stopped you?

Four months ago, while I was at work,

Thomas's parents showed up out of the blue

and kidnapped him. They brought him here
-
-

Objection, Your Honor, kidnapping implies

Mr. Young was taken against his will

which was not the case.

We believe it was, Your Honor.

Objection sustained.

What happened after Thomas Young

was taken to Los Angeles by his parents?

I tried to contact them for weeks.

They refused to take my calls.

And they wouldn't answer my letters.

Finally their attorney contacted me.

She said that I would never be able to see Thomas again,

and if I tried, they'd get a restraining order against me.

Mr. Campbell, please tell this court

why you're petitioning for the conservatorship of Thomas Young.

I love him.

I promised him I'd take care of him.

I want to keep that promise.

Thank you.

Mr. Campbell, what do you do for a living?

And how much do you earn?

I'm a systems programmer in the aerospace industry.

I make , and change.

And what is the approximate annual cost

of Thomas Young's illness?


-Including homecare?
-It varies.

A practical nurse alone costs $,

for the time you're at work, correct?

Yes.

Half your income before taxes.

We managed.

Besides when you left for work,

what other times did you leave Mr. Young alone?

Or in someone else's care.

I'd occasionally go out in the evenings.

With other men?

With friends.

Gay friends?


-Objection.
-Sustained.

You seduced Thomas Young, didn't you?

Objection!

I'm trying to establish the nature

of the relationship here, Your Honor.

That's ridiculous.

The objection is sustained.

Thomas wanted me as much as I wanted him.

After you decided to convert him.

I've had my wrist broken because I'm gay.

People are k*lled for it every day.

Who would choose to be gay if they didn't have to be?


-Your Honor.
-Mr. Campbell...

The only choosing going on here was between Thomas and myself,

we chose to be together

For his sake, I'm asking you to honor that choice.

[whispering]

Mr. Becker, I don't understand.

Your Honor, upon information and belief,

we believe the contract between Benjamin Stulwicz

and Herbert and Elaine Rose,

DBA Temple of the Children of God

was entered into fraudulently.

We believe the Roses clearly took advantage

of Mr. Stulwicz's retardation

when they enticed him to join their cult.

I object.

I am a member of the Children of God, Your Honor.

We are a recognized religious organization,

not a cult.

All we ask, Your Honor, is that a TRO be issued

requiring the return of Mr. Stulwicz's

$ membership fee

and we would seek further the protection

of his pledge of wages.

I can read, Mr. Becker.

What I don't understand is why you and Miss Perkins

are plaintiffs.

Are you conservators for Mr. Stulwicz?

No, Your Honor, but we are seeking temporary conservatorship.

Mr. Kuzak of your firm was before this bench two years ago

arguing that Mr. Stulwicz was fully capable of

exercising his right to vote.

Are you saying that he can decide

what's good for the country,

but not for himself?

We feel we're acting in Mr. Stulwicz' best interests.

$ and $ a week.

What do you give him in return?

Companionship, spiritual guidance.

Right.

Your Honor, before you decide,

we'd like to put on a witness.

We'd like to put Benjamin Stulwicz on the stand.

Objection.

Overruled, I happen to think that's a very good idea.

Since I don't totally trust either one of you,

I'd like to hear from him.

Tomorrow, :.

Dr. Ortiz, what exactly is Lou Gehrig's disease?

Amyotrophic Lateral sclerosis.

It's a neurological disorder that causes severe

and progressive atrophy of the muscles.

Can it be cured?

No, it's always terminal.

Could you describe for us the present condition

of Thomas Young?

He's completely paralyzed except for some respiratory function.

He needs a respirator at night and he's fed by tube.

And how long would you say he has to live?

Judging from similar cases, three to six months.

And is his mind at all affected by his illness?

No.

That's the saddest part of ALS.

Patients like Mr. Young are completely lucid

and aware of what's going on around them.

So if you speak to him, he hears you?

Oh, absolutely.

There's nothing wrong with his brain.

It's just very difficult for him to communicate.

It's like living in a glass coffin.

And how important is it to have someone

taking care of the patient who knows him intimately?

It's crucial.

Patients like Mr. Young feel isolated and helpless.

The caregiver has to know the patient well enough

to communicate without words.

To sense what he or she is feeling.

And what would be the medical consequences if such a patient

were removed from his spouse?

The loss of a loved one can devastate a healthy person.

For an ALS patient, it could be fatal.

Thank you.

Dr. Ortiz, it doesn't have to be a spouse

who gives this kind of care.

A parent could also provide it, right?

Yes.

And wouldn't quality of life be enhanced by better medical care?

Yes, but you can't separate that from emotional well
-being.

Thomas Young is unable to speak or even make a sound.

Isn't that correct?

Yes, the muscles that control his voice no longer work.

In fact, you were unable to communicate

with this patient, weren't you?

Many patients can indicate yes or no by blinking their eyes.

But he couldn't, could he?

According to Mr. Campbell, he was able
-
-

You tried to communicate with Thomas Young

and failed, isn't that right?

That one time, yes.

You don't know whom Mr. Young would prefer

as caretaker, do you?

He has a spouse and study after study
-
-

You don't know for a fact whom Mr. Young

would rather be with, do you?

I don't know for a fact, no.

Thank you, Doctor Ortiz. No more questions.

As you say, the consistency of the paint is very important.

But did you know if you go against the grain like this

you don't have to soak the brush and worry about dripping.

How do you know this?

Painting my apartment a zillion times.


-No kidding?
-Yeah.

Inspection time.

What are you doing?

Painting the bathroom, flirting with Murray.

My files haven't arrived yet,

so I'm just contributing where I can. Here you go.

Surely, there must be something else you can do.

I called Sajak's office.

No special favors on Wheel of Fortune.

Ah.

But...

But?

I did leave with your secretary the contestant phone line.

The one that's never busy.

You call up, you act upbeat, happy,

if they like you, and how could they possibly not,

they'll get you an audition.


-Are you serious?
-Very serious.

He's happy now. He's got a great smile when he's happy.

You are gonna play hangman with Vanna White.

[knocks]

Can I talk to you a second, Leland?

Sure, come in.

I, uh...

Just heard that Michael and Victor

are downtown at a settlement conference

for the Hogan trial.

Oh, yes, Victor has replaced you as second chair.

We felt that Hogan needed another litigator, and
-
-

What does Victor know about taxes, Leland?

This is my territory.

Yes, yes, yes.

But you're just back up to speed, Stuart.

Michael told me he needed me,

this doesn't make any sense, Leland.

It makes sense to me.

This is a litigation decision.

Since when do you make calls like that?

I am the senior partner, Stuart.

I'm entitled to make decisions

that are in the best interests of the firm.

And that's what I've done.

Knock, knock.

Jack.

I know I'm being obnoxious,

but I can't help it.

I want to know, you made up your mind yet?

No.

I can't concentrate on anything else, though.

Me, neither,

but maybe that's a good sign.

Let's talk about it.

That makes sense.

Okay.

You have doubts, right?

Let 'em rip.

We are very different.

This whole thing has happened

so incredibly fast, Jack.

We've only been seeing each other for a few weeks.

We've only slept with each other twice.

You're right, there are a thousand reasons not to do this.

So let's do it anyway.

Grace...

I never met anybody like you.

Are you really willing to risk this

after only three weeks?

The only risk is losing you.

I love you, Grace.

I'm not sure of a hell of a lot,

but I'm sure about that.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Is that enough?

What do you need?

All right.

I'll marry you.

I don't want to go to court.

Well, you have to, Benny.

You've been subpoenaed.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Of course you didn't.

It's just that...

everyone wants to know exactly

why you joined the temple of God.

So when I die, I'll live with God.

Well, what happens if you don't join the cult?

I go to the devil.

And he sticks me with a big fork.

Did they tell you that?

They said I'd go to hell.

Did they tell you how you're going to live and pay your bills

of less dollars a week?

God will provide.

Okay, look, we've been your friends

a lot longer than they have.

And you know that we wouldn't lie to you, right?

You're Ret*rded, Benny.

I know that we don't say it very often,

and we don't think about it a lot, but it's a fact

and the truth is there are people out there

who look for guys like you because you're an easy mark.

They can steal your money, you don't even know it.

You still think they're your friends.

They are my friends.

No.

No, they're not.

When we go into court,

I want you to tell the judge that you made a mistake,

and that you were confused

when you signed that piece of paper.

Do you understand?

I don't know.

Well, you have to trust us.

Now, these are the questions you're going to be asked.

And this is what you're going to say.

Pay attention.

Do you love your son, Mr. Young?

Very much.

Tom is our only child.

And how did you feel when you found out

he was terminally ill?

We were devastated.

Then we decided to make sure our boy had

the best possible care for the time he has left.

The best possible care.

Tell us what you mean by that.

My wife and I are fortunate enough to be well
-off financially.

Tom has the finest doctors, around the clock nurses,

a bedroom in our home equipped for all his medical needs.

And if he were to need anything else,

would you hesitate to provide it?

No, not for a second.

In addition to material advantages, Mr. Young,

why do you feel your son is better off

living with you than with Mr. Campbell?

Mr. Campbell works a full
-time job.

He left Tom alone with a nurse during the day.

At our house Tom has either myself or my wife there.

We truly believe this is best for him.

Thank you.

Your witness.

It does sound like you can buy Thomas anything.

Did it occur to you that you could still do that

if he was living with James Campbell?

Please answer the question, Mr. Young.

Well, yes.

But we felt it was important

for us to be there for him ourselves.

We couldn't be if he was in San Francisco.

Mr. Young, what did you do when your son

first told you he was a h*m*?

Objection, irrelevant.

Bears directly on the parent
-child relationship, Your Honor.

Objection overruled.

Witness will answer the question.

I don't remember.

Don't you?

According to a letter that your son wrote to James Campbell,

you hit him, you abused him verbally

and then you threw him out of the house.

Isn't that true?

Yes, but I was very angry.

I... I, um...

lost control.

I didn't mean to.

But you didn't admit that, at least not then.

No.

Instead, you refused to see your son.

You refused to accept that he had chosen

to love a man, isn't that right?

Yes.

You told Tom he wasn't your son anymore.

You cut him off.

You didn't speak to him for almost nine years.

Isn't that right?

If I had known...

If I'd known he was going to be sick like this,

I would have gone to him.

You would give anything to have

those nine year back, wouldn't you?

Legal fees don't matter,

James Campbell's feelings certainly don't matter.

All you want is for the guilt to go away.

Objection!

I'm finished here.

♪♪

I'd understand if it was a m*rder case

or some hardball divorce.

This is taxes, Anne, what the hell am I there for?

Stuart, you're obsessing.

It's driving me crazy,

It's one case, it's been reassigned, big deal.

If you make it an issue, you'll look like a crybaby.

They think I can't cut it?

Honey, let it go.

It's not good for your blood pressure.

Come on.

So how's your case coming?

We're putting Thomas Young on the stand.

I thought he can't communicate.

well, he has before.

Maybe he still can.

We're just going to put him on and hope.

Come on, sweetheart. Come on.

Why is Leland getting involved in this?

Stuart...

I'm sorry, Anne, this is litigation.

I'm going to Kuzak.

Hey, I just heard about you and Jack.

Congratulations.

I feel like I have stepped off a cliff, Victor.

Everything is, like, rushing by me

and it's ridiculous but I keep wanting

to talk to Mickey about it.

Well, you guys were together a long time.

That kind of closeness just doesn't go away,

even when you break up.


-I know.
-Sometimes it gets stronger.

Mickey is the last person I can talk to.

Talk to me. Dinner?

That would be great.

Okay.

Now, Benny, you first met the Roses

when you went to their church, isn't that right?

Yes.

And you asked them

how you could join, didn't you?

I was confused.

I want my money back.

You were confused?

I didn't know what I was doing.

I want my money back.

It's a cult.

I was confused.

Oh, the paper.

I didn't know what the paper was that I signed.

Did Mr. Becker tell you what to say today?

Yeah.


-Objection.
-Overruled.

I was confused.

All right, Mr. Stulwicz, I want you to forget

about what Mr. Becker said, do you hear?

You're under oath, you have to tell the truth.

Do you understand that?


-Yes.
-Good.

Now, when you signed that piece of paper,

did you know that it would mean that you would have to pay $,

and that they would get $ a week from your salary?

Did you know that?

Yes.

Then you weren't confused, were you?

Objection!

He's confused now.

Sit down.

Mr. Stulwicz, I hope you know how serious it is

to lie under oath.

All right, I will take this under advisement.

This won't take long, Mr. Young.

Please blink your eyes to answer,

one blink for yes, two for no.

Do you want to live with James Campbell?

Do you want James Campbell to take care of you?

Your Honor, please.

Let me try, he'd always answer me.

Objection.

Your Honor, my client does stand the best chance of getting a response.

That was not established by any expert witness.

And even if Mr. Campbell could force an answer,

it would be under duress.

Your Honor...

Normally I'd agree, Miss Schwartz,

but I have to give Mr. Young

every chance to express his own wishes.

Go ahead, Mr. Campbell.

Don't worry, Tommy, this is a piece of cake.

Don't feel pressure, just relax.

I know you love me.

Do you want to live with me and have me take care of you?

Come on.

Your Honor...

Let the record show the witness was unable to answer.

I was just on my way out.

You dodging me, Mike?

I'm swamped. Just up to my ears, that's all.

You too busy to level with me?

I want to know why I'm off the Hogan case.

Well, Leland and I figured

that Victor would be better, that's all.

Look, Mike, I know I'm not

the greatest litigator in the world,

but what does Victor know about taxes?

Well, there is also your health.

What about my health?

Well, you just had a heart attack.

You almost died.

Now, Hogan is a monster.

That's not your call, Mike. You're not my doctor.

I don't have to be, you're still on medication.

It takes time
-
-

How do you know I'm still on medication?

Well, everybody knows that.

Anne is the only...

She was just raising some concerns, that's all.

I'm off the Hogan case because of Anne.

Stuart, she was thinking about you.

Thanks, Mike.

[humming]

Wow.

This is fantastic.

Molding and trim.

New hardware.

Well, the old stuff was all shot, you know.

Excellent.

A masterful job, Murray, I'm very pleased.

Well, thank you, Dougie. I aim to please.

I'd be honored to be the first to inaugurate the new decor.

Are we ready for a maiden voyage?

Oh, please, be my guest.

Hey, Dougie, don't
-
-

Possible second degree burn on the buttocks.

Victim appears to be in shock.

Type and cross match for A positive.

Come on people, keep it clear, we're coming through.

Excuse us.

So it was on a farm up north.

The Bride and Groom's best friends got together

and threw them a three day party.

Wow.

They got married somewhere in between,

nobody knows exactly when.

Beautiful, though.

We all cried a lot.

My wedding was very traditional.

Until Mickey showed up in his ape suit.

Jack loved that story.

He's pretty terrific, huh?

Mmm.

He's the best.

He cares, he's passionate.

We have a great time together.


-So it isn't sex.
-What isn't sex?

What's bothering you.

No, it definitely isn't sex.

I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's nothing.

When I go to weddings like this one

that I'm telling you about in Napa,

I can see myself getting married.

But being married, that's something else.

Well, I have trouble, too, sometimes,

but then other times I can see it.

I just can't see the guy.

I keep thinking it's going to be like lightning striking.

When its the right person, you're gonna know.

That second.

Me, too.

Maybe it doesn't work that way.

Even if it does, how long do I have to wait?

True.

[door opens]

Still up?

Yeah, I'm still up.

Hi, honey.

You're the reason I'm off the case.

You went to Michael

and you went to Leland behind my back.

I
-
-

What, do you think I wasn't going to find out about it?

I'm sorry, I was scared.

That's crap.

What am I supposed to do, Stuart, watch you work yourself to death?

What you're supposed to do? You're supposed to be a wife.

That's what, you're supposed to support me

not cut my legs out from under me.

I want a husband, Stuart. I want a father for my child.

Then let me be a man!

I was thinking about Matthew.

Please.

I'm not an invalid, Anne.


-Nobody said you
-
-
-I passed all the tests,

and I'm really sick and tired of being treated like a patient.

I'm strong, Anne.

You're not as strong as you think you are, Stuart.

Yeah, I am. Watch this.

See this, Anne? I'm not having a heart attack!

Get up off the floor, Stuart.

I'm still not having a heart attack!

You bastard, get up off the floor!

Nobody has to take care of me!


-Nobody has to treat me like an invalid!
-Stop it!


-Nobody has to handle my life for me!
-Stop it!

You don't know how much you scared me, Stuart.

I lie awake all night constantly checking to

make sure you're still breathing.

I have to keep the TV volume down so I can hear

the crash in the next room when you go down again.

I'm scared, Stuart.

My clients, as all parents do,

have made some mistakes in dealing with their son.

Relationships got strained, communications break down,

but it doesn't change the fact

that they love their son.

Duncan and Elizabeth Young are grieving parents

about to lose their only child

to a terrible and premature death.

It is also a fact that they have the best means

to provide the finest medical care for Thomas.

They have the financial ability to ensure

that he will want for nothing for the rest of his life.

He can't guarantee that.

They have the time, they can be with him

every day and every night. He can't.

Your Honor, Thomas Young could not indicate

whom he chooses to live with.

And Thomas Young is not legally married to anyone.

Given that, given the quality of care

will be better with his parents,

given the presumption of the law that custody

be given to the closest living relatives,

you have no choice but to deny Mr. Campbell's petition.

Thank you, Your Honor.

The law says that James Campbell and Thomas Young

don't have a marriage.

But there can be no question of their commitment.

Thomas Young risked being cut off by his family

to be with my client.

James Campbell has gone almost bankrupt

caring for his spouse.

These two have held fast

to being in love, to being married

in the face of a society that denies them.

You don't define a marriage by contracts

or certificates or legal code.

A marriage is being able to stand by each other

through your pain, your fears, your anger.

It's when you're both so afraid, you can't go on,

and you go on, wanting to be there,

when it would be so much easier to walk away.

Jim Campbell could have walked away.

But he didn't.

Love and marriage.

That means you stay.

James Campbell wants to stay.

Thomas Young wants him to stay.

For God's sake, that's what their wedding vows

were all about.

Thank you.

Hello?

Who is it? Who's there?

It's me, Roxanne.

I said no visitors.

We're no visitors.

He's here?

That's right, it's me, the one who blew you up.

Daddy.

He wants to apologize.

Apologies I have no use for.

A warning about the turpentine

in the toilet bowl, that I could have used.

I'm so sorry, Doug.

The doctors are talking skin grafts.

You know how painful that is?

Skin grafts?

They should get them from your head.

This way you butt won't grow hair.


-Daddy!
-Oh, come on.

A little ass in the sling humor, good therapy.

Roxanne, get him out of here.

You didn't blow your top, you blew your bottom.

Come on, Daddy.

Oh, I got a million of them!

But I don't want you to be the butt of my jokes.

I like my buns toasted!

There's a full moon out tonight.

And for all the evidence put before me,

I see no proof that Mr. Stulwicz

was under undue influence

when he signed that agreement.

If fact, in anybody was guilty of brainwashing here,

it was likely Mr. Becker and Miss Perkins.

Your behavior here was contemptible.

Mr. Stulwicz clearly trusts you.

And you repaid his trust by bringing suit without asking him.

You forced him to recite rehearsed answers.

In short, it was you who treated him

as an object to be manipulated

rather than a person to be cared for.

Petition for TRO denied.

The costs of both parties will be paid by McKenzie Brackman.

That's all, we'll take a ten minute recess.

Benny, here's a check.

To give you your money back.

It seems that you're...

at least not totally sure about us, Benny.

And if that's the case you probably shouldn't be with the church.

Also, our lawyer told us

that there's nothing to stop your lawyers

from bringing another action down the road,

and we can't afford it.

I'm sorry. We're gonna miss you, Benny.

I'll miss you, too.

Come on, Ben
-o, let's go home.

I'll take the bus back.

Why? We've got a car?

I don't want to go with you.

Hey, Benny.

As you're well aware, this is a painful decision.

Since it directly concerns Mr. Young,

I felt he should be present.

I am moved by

Mr. Campbell's devotion to Mr. Young.

Unfortunately, as much as I may want to,

the law does not allow me to treat their relationship

as a marriage.

Since Mr. Young is unable to express his own wishes,

my first obligation is to act in his best interests.

There is also the order of preference

under state statute.

Which after a legal spouse, favors the nearest relative.

In view of that, and the fact that

they can provide the best care, for Thomas Young,

I award conservatorship to Duncan and Elizabeth Young.

We're adjourned.

I'd keep fighting this, but...

I couldn't put you through that.

I just want you to be happy and peaceful now.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

And you're going to be with me as long as I live.

And I'm always going to be with you.

Hey, Benny, baby.

Murray, what are you doing here?

What am I doing? I'm riding the bus.

Where are you going?

Downtown.

I'm looking for an apartment.

I've got to find a new place to live.

I thought you lived with Roxanne.

Oh, I do.

But it's not working out.

How come?

Oh, don't get me wrong. Roxanne's a sweetheart.

But it makes me feel funny.

She's too good to me.

I leave the stove on, it's all right, Daddy.

I blow up one of the senior partners,

it's okay, Daddy.

I'm a burden on her.

Every day, it's okay daddy.

It's not okay. Not to daddy.

Won't you miss her?

Yeah.

But it's better this way.

You could live with me.

What's that?

I got two bedrooms and I only sleep in one.

Be a hell of a combo, huh?

You're a mental and I'm a nut.

[laughs]

Oh, Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny.

Very nice of you.

Thanks for the offer.

I don't like to live alone.

Can you cook?

Not too good.

I can cook. I can fix up anything.

Do you want to live at my house?

I'd like you to.

You know something, Benny? I think I'd like it, too.

♪♪

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, boy.

Doesn't look too good for the home team, does it?

Changed your mind, didn't you?

I'm sorry.

Me, too.

Doesn't begin to cover it, though.

It's not that you're not ready, is it?

I mean, I know I pushed hard.

Maybe if we backed off a little, keep dating?

I don't think it would change anything.

You'd always be waiting.

You don't pull your punches, do you?

Must be what I find so attractive.

I wish it could be different, Jack.

You are an amazing man.

Yeah.

So they tell me.

You don't want to be friends, do you?

I don't think it would work.

Yeah. You're right.

I hate it when they want to be friends.

I miss you already.

You awake?

I'm awake.

I'm sorry.

I'm just so scared of a life without you.

You have every right not to forgive me.

If I've hurt us, I won't forgive myself.

What happened with your case?

We lost.

♪♪ [theme]