♪ Snowflakes and candy canes ♪
♪ Frosty cookies
and big parades ♪
♪ Just a few
of the wonderous things ♪
♪ On this holiday season ♪
♪ Decorating
our Christmas tree ♪
♪ Singing carols so merily... ♪
And now, the pies de resistance.
My gosh, more food.
I mean,
how is that even possible?
Don't worry, we're gonna
jog it off tomorrow.
You guys know my motto...
There's always room for dessert!
Yes.
Yeah, not after
five courses. No.
Okay, fine. I'm going
to put it in the kitchen
in case anybody
changes their mind.
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Just out of curiosity,
what is for dessert?
Oh, this is my signature recipe.
Pumpkin Cheesecake
with a graham cr*cker crust.
You're k*lling me.
Is that maple whip cream?
- Yes.
- All right, put that down.
I'm gonna grab a slice.
I cannot!
This has been the best
Christmas with you guys.
I want to do this
every Christmas Eve.
Let's make Christmas Eve dinner
our tradition.
Okay, and I think I speak
for our family
when I say we are in.
Yes. Can you cut it
while I get some plates?
It's so pretty, I don't wanna
cut it, but I'm going to.
Okay, guys,
come on, get in position.
- Yay!
- Get in front of the tree.
I don't wanna stand next to her.
- Why don't you go outside?
- Skye!
Be nice.
- Look at the supermodel.
- Dork.
- Jake!
- Skye!
Oh, my Gosh, someday
you guys are gonna get along.
- Never.
- Never.
Would you look at that.
We're finally agreeing
on something.
Honey, come on.
Come on, you guys.
- Get in front of the tree.
- Okay.
Get in tight, everybody.
Come on. Nice.
And everyone say,
"Pumpkin Cheesecake!"
- Pumpkin Cheesecake!
- Pumpkin Cheesecake!
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
♪ O'er the fields we go ♪
♪ We're laughing all the way ♪
♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪
♪ They're making
spirits bright ♪
♪ Oh-oh, what fun
to laugh and sing ♪
♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪
♪ Oh, jingle bells,
jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
♪ Jingle all the way ♪
♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪
Thanks for coming in.
Hey.
- That's what you wore to your interview?
- Online. Waist-high.
- Oh...
- And they're only hiring unpaid interns.
- Two summers from now.
- I'm okay with that
because I like
having you around.
You'll get something very soon.
"Big flex!"
Did I say that right?
I'm thinking
you shouldn't be saying it.
- Okay, Pooh Bear.
- Mom!
You're painting over dad?
Yeah.
I think it's better composition.
Also, I feel
if we're officially divorced,
he doesn't get to be
in my art anymore.
- You okay, Mom?
- Yeah.
I'm fine.
You're coming tonight?
What's tonight?
Christmas charades
at the Riveras'.
Skye will be there.
I think
I'm gonna sit this one out.
Honey, I love it so much
when you're home with us.
Oh... Missed you guys too.
And I'll be back
permanently in June so.
But then you're going
to apply to grad school
and then you're going to intern,
and you'll have a corner office
at a Fortune 500 company.
And I kind of feel like this is
like our last
Christmas together.
MBA, 80-hour-a-week job,
marriage, kids, grandkids,
and funeral arrangements.
Might as well end it right now.
Okay.
Let's just
get through the holidays.
Okay.
- t*nk!
- Oh!
Oh, sorry.
He's excited
to be out of the city.
Hi. Well, you know what,
to be fair, I do have meat.
Are you in town
for the holidays?
Kind of a working holiday.
I'm renting the house
down the block.
Oh, the Morgan place.
You must be the writer.
I guess everybody here
does know everybody.
Oh, you have no idea.
So welcome
to the other North Pole.
The one without
polar bears and elves.
But you do have reindeer.
Usually they pass through here
every year except for last year
and it doesn't look like
we'll see them this year either.
- Oh, no.
- The Wildlife Bureau
was supposed
to send someone out so.
Hey, is there something fun
going on over here without me?
- Trish, this is...
- Kendall Curry.
Hi, Trish Rivera.
Self-proclaimed
Queen of the North Pole.
Mother of all cheesecakes
and breaker
of game-night records.
I'm Diana Forester.
You're Trish and Diana.
You've heard of us?
Literally everyone
I've met in North Pole
seems to talk about you two.
The unstoppable duo who wins
the home decorating contest
every Christmas.
Oh, well, that's Trish.
That's all Trish.
- I just help her out.
- That's so not true.
Diana is the yin to my yang.
Would you mind if I take a photo
of you two for American Life?
The website?
That's the one.
- We love American Life.
- We do and it's about time
you did a story
in our little town.
Well, that's a perfect place
to start.
- Okay.
- Okay, smile.
Now that's a friendship.
- Can I see?
- You look great.
- You too.
- You both look great.
Oh, duty calls.
It was nice meeting you two.
Yeah, I'm sure
we'll see you again.
Merry Christmas.
- Hey, see that purse?
- Yeah.
Fake Fendi.
How can you tell?
Because I have a real one.
All right, Tin Soldier!
Um...
Nutcracker!
- Pear tree.
- Yes!
What?
That is another win!
That is a three-peat
for the Riveras!
And this would not be a party
without Diana's fabulous
Da Vinci cookies.
A true culinary art, people.
And you know my motto.
There's always room
- for dessert!
- For dessert!
Yes, there is.
Yes.
All right.
One lone cookie left.
Ooh...
Painted in 1503...
In oil, not canola.
Paid attention in art history.
Thank you
for recommending the course.
It was really interesting.
Hey, where's Jake?
He's job hunting.
Yeah, we thought that a diploma
from his Ivy-League school
would guarantee him
a job right away, but...
That is why Skye
is going to grad school.
You'll thank me later.
I'm sorry. I'm got to
take this. It's a work thing.
Are you helping my mom out
with Best Holiday House again?
Uh, yes, she is
and we're going to win
another Golden Reindeer.
She does love winning.
It's not
the worst quality to have.
It is if you text "Pear tree"
to your charades partner.
Uh-huh.
Okay. All right, she does
bend the rules sometimes
but it's harmless.
You know? And then she will host
a dozen fundraisers
to make up for that.
You're such a good friend.
You always defend her.
Yeah, I guess I do.
So, when do we get
- to meet this new boyfriend?
- Oh, no, we don't.
That's over and done.
I'm single
and so not ready to mingle.
I hear that.
At least we've got each other
this Christmas.
Come here. Give me a hug.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Honey, will you please
take this over to Jake, please?
Do I have to?
Yes, you have to.
It's Christmas.
Go, walk it over, please.
Fine.
Thank you.
- I know, right?
- Please.
- Can you please?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
- Keep going. Keep going.
- I'm gonna give you a generous pour.
-Don't stop, please. Thank you. Delicious.
-We'll just k*ll that bottle.
Merry Christmas.
♪ I saw three ships
come sailing in ♪
♪ On Christmas day,
on Christmas day ♪
♪ I saw three ships
come sailing in ♪
♪ On Christmas day,
on Christmas day ♪
♪ I saw three ships
come sailing in ♪
♪ On Christmas day,
on Christmas day ♪
♪ On Christmas day,
on Christmas day ♪
Ho, ho, ho!
That just came on.
Uh-huh.
What? You never seen
a four pack before?
Looks more like a two.
Leftovers. Thanks.
Hope I'm not stealing you away
from Frat Boy.
We're not together anymore.
Oh!
Skye Rivera without
a boyfriend on Christmas.
That's a first.
For you too, huh?
First Christmas
without your dad here.
Yeah, well,
he wasn't all that here
even when he was around.
And now he's with his new wife.
So that'd be a little...
- Awkward.
- Yeah.
So, he broke up with you or...
I ended it.
Good.
- Good?
- I mean, good.
I'm glad you did it,
so you're not heartbroken.
Wouldn't want
to ruin your Christmas.
Mh.
Surprised you care.
I don't, really.
But with us knowing each other
for so long and all...
Yep.
Long time.
Yeah. Long time.
Anyway, I better get back.
See you around.
Yeah, see you.
I like your hair.
Brunette's a good look on you.
Wait.
Was that a compliment
from Jake Forester?
No, it's just an observation.
Thanks for the observation.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
♪ Every day is Christmas ♪
♪ Every day is Christmas ♪
♪ Every day is Christmas
if you want ♪
♪ You only got
so many minutes in a day ♪
♪ So you make the choice
to celebrate ♪
Oh!
♪ Or run away on a rainy day ♪
t*nk!
♪ Oh, if you knew
how loved you are ♪
♪ Every day is Christmas
if you want ♪
What happened
to all the reindeer?
I thought there was supposed
to be reindeer.
Well, not anymore I guess,
but it's still full
of holiday spirit around here.
There is this house decorating
contest on Christmas Eve.
The entire town
goes bananas for it.
And there are these two women,
Trish and Diana.
They're best friends and they
team up every year and win.
They're like local legends.
They're perfect
for American Life.
Okay, okay,
I'm gonna stop you right there.
We are no longer interested
in American Life.
But it's literally
the name of the website.
That may be
but we have a new mandate.
Since when?
Ever since my father retired.
But he told me
nothing was gonna change.
I'm afraid it has to.
Daddy nearly drove
this company into the ground.
He wouldn't listen to me when I
told him that nobody wants to read
about small town fireplace
hot cocoa crap anymore.
That "crap" got us through some
tough times when I was a kid.
I'm so sorry your childhood
was so hard for you,
but I'm running a business.
I need something new,
something edgier.
Everybody wants
a feel-good story
once in a while.
"Feel-good"
doesn't pay the bills.
Look, my father liked you.
I like you.
But if you wanna
stick around here,
you've got to help me out.
I need clickbait.
Clickbait?
The site needs traffic, Kendall.
Beep-beep. Get to work.
We almost bought
a Momere in Prague.
It was breathtaking
and the true dichotomy
of his past work.
The way he captured
the subversive hermeneutics
of desire...
I'm so sorry. Could you two
excuse me for just one minute?
I just... Hi.
Sorry.
Hello!
Please pretend you know me.
What?
I'm trying to escape
Mr. and Mr. Pretentious.
Three o'clock.
Isn't this your gallery?
Yes.
How do you know
they are not buyers?
- They're not.
- You can tell that just by looking at someone?
Because they come in
every holiday
for the free wine
and appetizers.
Merry Christmas.
So, am I buyer?
Huh!
Um...
You are thinking about it.
You're traveling.
You don't ever really stay
in one place for very long.
Also, you're just not ready
to commit to a reindeer.
It's close.
Except I am willing
to commit to a reindeer.
National Wildlife Bureau.
I've been waiting for you.
Nick Ames, specializing
in the conservation of caribou,
or as you say, reindeer.
Diana Forester,
painter of reindeer
and terrible salesperson.
Nice to meet you, Nick Ames.
Nice to meet you,
Diana Forester.
See you around.
Yeah.
Who was that?
That's the reindeer guy.
Who?
Nobody.
♪ Now it's Christmas time ♪
♪ And the ground is white ♪
♪ Let's gather around
and sing a song ♪
♪ By the fire light ♪
- Well, is he cute?
- I don't know.
He's just here for the reindeer.
So, no.
So, he is cute.
Diana, you cannot just wallow
in this divorce.
You have to get back out there.
I so don't wanna
get back out there.
Okay, well. If you
don't wanna do it for yourself,
then do it for Jake.
- For Jake?
- Yes. As soon as you move on
with your life,
he's going to move on
- with his life too.
- He's job hunting.
Sweetie, he's floundering.
You cannot let him
just do whatever he wants.
You're enabling him.
What?
I just feel
like you're always pushing me.
Well, that's our thing.
Maybe this year
I'm a little more sensitive.
Okay, but if I don't push you,
who will?
Besides,
Bob is already remarried.
You can't just let him win.
It's always about winning.
What does that supposed to mean?
I don't know, like cheating
on family game night
and then making
your daughter lie about it.
She told you that?
Did you really cheat
at charades?
You were cheating Mrs. Rivera?
Hi, girls.
Look at those great outfits!
- Got any cookies?
- Door deliveries are over.
Was the three-peat really fake?
No, Maddy.
Your parents lost
fair and square, okay?
It's Madeline now.
Oh, well, sign me up
for five boxes
of Thin Mints, okay?
Sorry, you'll have to wait
until cookie season
like everyone else.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
The entire town
is gonna know by dinnertime.
That troop
is a propaganda machine.
They destroyed Bree Flanigan.
Bree Flanigan was arrested
for shoplifting.
And who turned her in?
Troop nine.
- How could you do that to me?
- I didn't see them.
You didn't see five Girl Scouts
popping out of Christmas trees?
- No.
- Go tell them we're joking.
No. That's what you always
want me to do.
I always defend you.
- What is wrong with you today?
- Apparently everything.
My husband left me,
I'm not ready to move on,
I'm a bad parent.
I never said
you were a bad parent, okay?
I'm being a friend
and friends tell each other
things they don't always
want to hear.
Okay, well,
in the spirit of friendship.
You should know that Skye
thinks that you smother her.
Oh! Smother?
I mean, my God, Trish,
let her live her life
for five minutes
without you
planning everything about it.
Oh, really? Well, you wanna know
why Jake's really back home?
Because you want him there,
so you don't have to be alone.
When the kids were freshmen,
and you were
in Turks and Caicos,
Skye asked me to adopt her.
Why would my daughter
want to trade down?
I don't know.
But maybe I did see
those Girl Scouts.
Oh, my God!
Oh!
- Did you see that?
- Oh, my God.
You wanna see a show, everybody?
Trish's signature
Pumpkin Cheesecake recipe...
Is Bobby Flay's!
Oh.
No way.
Oh, my God.
Did you hear about Trish Rivera?
She got caught cheating
at Christmas charades.
Who does that?
Are you kidding me?
Look, Trish tells everyone
she's 44.
Honey, I know for a fact
she is 49.
Now this
is what I'm talking about.
You can just see the hostility
in Diana's paintings.
Look at those antlers.
You know,
Trish and Diana's houses
are right across the street
from each other,
which means one of them
might be on the market soon.
I hope it's Trish.
Bigger commish.
So, what did she throw?
I didn't serve it,
but my sources tell me
it was an iced holiday latte
with double whipped cream.
Messy.
Uh, did something happen?
Oh, Trish and Diana split up.
Officially.
Not like that fake fight
they had in '09.
- That's awful.
- Seriously.
What will we do
for entertainment now?
I thought you said they were
supposed to be best friends.
Well, one of them, Trish,
apparently she cheated
- on game night.
- Uh-huh.
And then Diana
called her out on it.
So Trish threw
a Frappuccino in her face.
- Really?
- I know you said you wanted something edgy.
- Yeah! Go on, go on!
- So. I'm thinking.
It's this cozy Christmas Town
perfect on the outside
but with a kind of...
Dark underbelly?
Well, not quite that bad.
I can see it.
Backstabbing modern mothers
- living in first world anarchy.
- Anarchy?
These women will stop at nothing
to destroy
each other's reputations.
We'll call it "The Real
Housewives of the North Pole."
Are you sure this is
what we should be doing?
This is exactly
what we should be doing.
Stay on it, get a story.
And Kendall,
the nastier, the better.
- Mom!
- Skye! Skye! Please help me,
how do I get these pictures
of Diana out of here?
I'm gonna need a new iPad
because I'm gonna smash this one.
- What's going on?
- What's going on?
She betrayed me.
She betrayed
our entire family, okay?
So effective immediately,
all contact
with the Foresters is forbidden.
Ugh!
- Mom?
- Hey.
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, everything's fine.
Oh, BTW, we're no longer
in speaking terms
- with the Riveras.
- Wait, what?
Trish is a façade,
just like her house.
- Their house is a palace.
- Well, the bank owns it.
They're living off of fumes.
Oh, she is gonna regret
she shared
all her secrets with me.
- What happened?
- It's best if you don't know the deets.
You and Skye were never close
so it shouldn't
really affect you.
Trish has been your best friend
since we've moved here.
People change, right?
People that you've known
for years.
People that you've made
memories with.
People that you've been
married to.
Are you sure this about Trish?
It's dad.
- I'll call him back.
- No, it's okay.
It's okay, take it.
You know what, actually,
invite him
to the gallery tomorrow,
he always liked
the Christmas show.
Actually,
they're in St. Lucia.
Great.
- Blue Grotto?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Please be sure to wish them both
a Merry Christmas for me.
I'm not supposed to talk to you.
My mom said the same thing.
- Let's meet.
- Uh, no.
- Hanging up now.
- Wait, wait!
If our moms break up,
they're gonna be on us
even more.
My mom just got divorced, I'm not
gonna let her lose her best friend too.
Where?
♪ It's Christmas ♪
♪ It's time for the lights
to start shining ♪
♪ It's time for snow
to start falling down ♪
♪ To the sand... ♪
Impressive and excessive.
That's why he married me.
How much is this gonna cost?
Honey, we cannot skip this year.
I have to show Diana
that I can win without her.
I get it,
but we have to cut back...
After the holidays,
I promise, okay?
And then after you land
that London account,
which you will...
Is this fight
really about Diana?
Or is it something else?
Something related to this?
She has all but accused me
of being pushy and controlling.
And maybe I am those things,
but I thought
she liked that about me.
I mean,
there's bumps in the road
in every relationship.
- Just call her.
- No, no.
Look, I'm just
gonna cancel the trip.
No, no. Paul, it'll be okay.
And besides
it's only one Christmas.
So, we will do
an early Christmas Eve dinner
on video chat.
That sounds awful.
But we will make up for it
on New Year's.
- Yeah?
- Yes, I promise.
Uh-uh.
I'm just gonna put it
right there.
Look at that,
more Christmas decorations.
Don't worry.
It was all on sale,
"99 Cents" is my middle name.
- More like "FedEx Overnight."
- Hey.
Hey, don't make fun
of your wife's passions.
You're one of them.
Call Diana.
Go to the airport,
you're gonna miss your flight.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
What if our moms catch us
talking about them?
Not gonna happen.
Big public place,
Friday night crowd.
We'll blend right in.
Besides, I felt like skating.
I haven't been on the ice
in a very long time.
- I'm excited.
- You want some help?
Oh, no, I got it.
Thanks.
What time is it?
Why?
Well, people might just talk.
Men and women hanging out
at 8:00 on a weekend is a date.
That's a rule.
Well, we should
wrap this up fast then.
Rules are rules.
I remember the last time
you and I were both here.
You were showing off
for Kyle Simon and took out
- the entire senior class.
- No!
- Yeah, you did.
- No, I wasn't showing off.
Oh, okay.
Okay, fine.
Maybe I was.
But I remember
you were spinning around
trying to impress Ashley Kay.
Oh, please, no.
I never liked Ashley Kay.
You took her to prom
in your powder blue tux.
Wait, you remember my prom?
And my wardrobe?
I do live across
the street, you know.
Okay, so you were watching me?
- No.
- Got it.
No, I'm not exactly...
It was an accident.
You know, sometimes you just,
you just can't look away.
- Okay.
- Gotcha.
Thanks.
So, what are we gonna do?
About what?
Our moms?
Right. Yeah, right.
- Isn't that why we're here?
- Yeah, um...
Let's just skate around
for a while.
I'm sure
we'll think in something.
As long as we're done
by 8:00 right?
Let's make it 7:59, just...
This will be the third Christmas
in a row I've spent alone.
Last year I was
in Hot Coffee, Mississippi,
before that,
Loveladies, New Jersey,
and Scratch Ankle, Alabama.
Ooh.
To being alone at Christmas.
So, I heard about you and Trish.
Oh.
Are the rumors really bad?
Well, um, see.
She gave you a black eye.
You embezzled.
She cut the brakes on your car
and something about arson.
Wow, this town is ruthless.
For the record, I am team Diana.
Thank you.
It's funny,
I feel like everybody wants
to make this out to be
a Christmas w*r,
but honestly, it's...
just the end
to a very long friendship.
If you want to talk,
I'm a good listener.
It's hard because she's always
been there for me.
And I don't know if you heard
but my husband left last year
and this is my first Christmas
without him.
I'm so sorry.
Hey!
Where have you been?
You're not burying a body,
are you?
No. Come over here,
I want to show you something.
I had an epiphany.
A Supermodel Snow Woman!
Is that my swimsuit?
You're donating it
for the greater good, Skye.
Listen, I've held this title
for ten years.
I'm not letting someone else
take it from me now.
- Oh!
- Wait, wait. Skye, Skye.
Maybe you can
hang out here with me
and we could do this together.
It will be fun.
No. You're on your own.
So good!
- Hey! Hi.
- Busted!
Sleeping at 10:30
in the morning?
Cut me some slack.
It's winter break.
For me.
For you,
it's just another weekday.
We should change
our contact names,
just in case one of our moms
sees our phones.
Uh, good idea.
I'm gonna make you, 2-Pack.
Like the rapper?
No. Like your abs.
Were you calling
for any particular reason?
Yeah, about our moms.
I got an idea.
And for those of you
with a gluten allergy,
fear not my muffins are made.
Oh, they're delicious.
- It's just amazing!
- Oh, my God!
- Good morning.
- Hey there, Pooh Bear.
You weren't
gonna call me that anymore.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I forgot.
Hey, do you think
I'm a bad parent?
- What?
- Nothing.
So, I was thinking
about your gallery party
tomorrow night,
and I think you need
another tree.
We have a great tree.
- You want to sell paintings, right?
- Ideally. Yes.
So, trees create oxygen,
more oxygen to the brain
equals a better mood,
equals greater likelihood
of selling art.
What's going on?
Nothing,
I just thought we'd enjoy
hitting the Christmas tree lot.
A little mother-son
bonding time.
You hate shopping.
Yeah, but you know...
When's the last time
we did anything together?
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
- Okay, so we'll go later.
- Yeah.
So that's yes?
Yeah.
Love to.
Merry Christmas!
I'm telling you, it's hard to
find the right Christmas tree.
Every year I t*rture myself
trying to find
the right Christmas tree.
- It's not easy.
- Well, I know. I liked that one.
It's just one more tree
for the foyer.
- Happy Holidays!
- Happy Holidays!
- Wait. Where are we going?
- I got a feeling it's over here.
- Hey! Looks who's here!
- Hey, guys!
- This is nice.
- Merry Christmas!
Look at all of us,
chilling in the trees!
Like the good old days, right?
I...
I just...
I just...
I know. I feel terrible.
- Do you really?
- Really, I do.
And I want you to know
that I accept your apology.
I'm sorry.
You accept my apology?
I do.
Do you remember
what you said to me?
I remember what you said to me.
Hey, remember those family
forest trips we used to take?
And Trish's hot chocolates
in mom's hand painted
Santa cups.
I remember Trish's
scalding chocolate.
I remember her cup
because I chipped a veneer.
Oh, look, look, look.
A Blue Spruce,
your favorite tree, Trish.
Oh, no, no, no.
Trish's favorite tree
is a Douglas fir
because it's big and flashy.
I think bigger is better.
Big like the bill
from your nose job?
Big like the boobs
on your ex-husband's new wife.
Oh, you...
- My hair!
- No, Mom!
- Stop!
- Not my hair!
- Stop!
- Stop!
Mom!
- My tree!
- Oh, no, my tree!
Look at what you did.
Look at what you just did.
I cannot believe
that we were ever friends.
Me either.
Where's the Christmas spirit?
GOAT!
- What?
- Yeah.
Mom, mom,
GOAT is actually a complement.
Un-GOAT.
Uh-huh.
And you're so not winning
that Golden Reindeer this year.
- Who's gonna stop me?
- I am.
You may be good at painting
your little reindeer.
But winning a Golden one
is out of your league, sweetie.
Do you really think
that you can win without me?
Oh, I know I can.
And I will.
- They should pay for my tree.
- Yes.
Get out of the away,
you stupid trees!
That went well!
Wow! The nerve!
Your mom is pretty extreme, huh?
Yep.
She gets that
from my grandparents.
No matter what she did,
it was never enough.
That's rough.
I mean...
To another Christmas.
Another Christmas.
Oh, wow.
You're right, that is the best
- spiked hot cocoa in town.
- See?
So, how's the job hunt?
Well, I'm still 22,
still living
in my childhood bedroom, so.
- You think it's good?
- That's not...
Twenty-two
is not exactly ancient.
Yeah. I just...
I wanna do something
that matters, you know.
Like what?
Well, don't laugh.
There's this program
where you can teach English
in different countries
all around the world.
I'm not laughing.
It's just, it's something
I've always thought about.
Living in a different place,
doing something to help people.
Where would you go?
Well, I've narrowed it down
to South America,
Asia, Europe and Africa.
Mh! Not Antarctica?
What?
No, I didn't know you'd
this easy to talk to.
- Cheers then.
- Cheers. To penguins.
- If you eat it over there.
- Everything going okay?
- Yeah, is good.
- Good.
I'll be right back.
Hi.
Hi.
- Wow!
- Oh, thank you.
You look really nice too.
Thanks. It's a nice turnout.
- Yeah, right?
- Yeah.
How are the reindeer?
Well, it looks like an avalanche
block their migration route.
- Do you think they're gonna be okay?
- I hope so. They're survivors,
but there's not a lot of food
in the mountains.
Maybe they'll take
another route.
Maybe.
It's not exactly
in their nature,
but we are hoping
for a Christmas miracle.
Yeah.
I miss them.
I know,
I know this sounds stupid,
but they're my inspiration.
It doesn't.
Don't repeat this to anyone,
but my inspiration
is the whistling marmot.
Oh...
Yep. Thanks.
I don't have
any paintings of those.
Well, I guess I'll just have
to get this one.
Now, I thought
that you weren't a buyer.
You said that, not me.
I can't think
of a better Christmas present,
You think
you could hold onto it for me
- for a few days?
- No, no problem.
I can give gift wrap it for you,
or box it up for whoever...
- It's for me.
- Oh.
- Well, I better get going.
- Yeah.
- See you in a few days.
- Yeah. I'll be here.
It's the second time
he's been in the gallery.
Yeah, yeah.
He likes the reindeer.
Oh, yeah, and you.
Oh. He's just
a nice guy, he's...
Leaving a painting
so that he can come back later?
- He's asking you out.
- Is...
He's not asking me out.
Even if he was, I wouldn't go.
- Why not?
- Because I...
I'm your mom. Aren't you
supposed to be disgusted
- at the thought of me dating?
- Oh, I'm totally grossed out.
But I also want you to be happy.
Well, if you really
want me to be happy,
help me take
that Golden Reindeer
away from Trish.
No, I'm not doing that.
She's stealing my customers.
This is getting
completely out of hand.
You know what? It's fine.
I got it. I'm your mom...
- Mom.
- No. I'm a single mom.
I can do it by myself,
I don't need you
- to do anything for me.
- Okay. Okay. Stop, I'll help.
Okay, thank you, Pooh Bear.
Mom!
- Hi.
- Hi.
Everything looks amazing.
Oh, you came!
Oh! Hey, listen.
I wanted to invite you
to Christmas dinner
with Jake and me.
- Diana, you don't have to do it.
- I know,
we'd really love
to have you there
and I don't think anybody
should be alone at Christmas.
It won't be extravagant,
but I do make
a mean vegan turkey.
- I'd love to, thank you.
- Okay, because we'd love to have you.
Hey! Hey, don't look over there.
Trish will say that I'm copying.
I'm not looking over there.
She's already got the judges
wrapped around her finger.
- Okay, she's really...
- Manipulative.
- I know. I know. She is.
- Didn't she just donate
all that stuff to the hospital?
Yeah. And you know who's
on the board of the hospital?
- The wife of one of the judges.
- Sure, that's why.
Okay, fine.
Yes, she's generous, okay?
Everybody has one good quality.
This is the section
I'm gonna call
"Elves Gone Wild."
Excuse me.
What could be more important
- than what's going on here?
- Let's see.
Everything?
- Who's that?
- Nobody.
Wow!
What?
- Proud of yourself?
- Yep.
What's that?
Go big or go home.
We are home.
Bring the elves to the porch!
I don't remember it ever being
this crazy at Christmas before.
Maybe you just didn't notice
because you always had
a boyfriend during the holidays.
Have you ever been in love?
I don't know. Maybe.
You?
I don't think so.
- Really?
- I mean,
I've been in relationships,
but I think there were just
a way for me to feel...
not alone.
Is being alone so bad?
Sometimes.
Because when I'm alone,
I have to think
about who I really am
and how everyone thinks
I'm perfect.
Well, if it's any consolation,
I never thought
you were perfect.
You didn't?
You're a little
too color coordinated.
You blink weird.
You lick stamps funny.
Have you noticed that?
- Should I go on?
- No, I'm good.
I didn't realize
you noticed so much about me.
If it makes you feel better,
you can say
some bad stuff about me.
Okay, well...
Right now I can't actually
think of anything.
Let's give it time.
It's 8:05.
It is?
And it's a Saturday night.
So officially we may have left
the friend zone.
So what do we do now?
Rules are rules.
Okay, no, our moms
will k*ll us if they find out.
Please, do not bring up
our moms right now.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you...
- Vincent van Snow.
- Wow!
- Wow.
- Fabulous!
Let's go.
Did you get the pictures?
Yes, I got them
but they're not enough,
- I need more.
- More?
Yes, more anger, more fighting,
and more carnage.
It's just...
It's just what?
She invited me over
for Christmas.
Oh, that's perfect.
Oh, you know how people are
during the holidays.
They get tempers flare,
nerves are frayed,
jingle all the way.
But she's a divorced mom,
she's going through a hard time.
It feels wrong to keep prying.
So work on the other housewife.
What happened on "99 Cents"
being your middle name?
Okay, so I had to add
a few more nines.
We can barely afford
our house payment.
We will work it out,
we always do.
- Will you please call Diana?
- No.
Besides, she's already
replaced me.
No, come on.
Who can replace you?
Apparently,
it's not that difficult.
Well, I disagree.
I miss you.
I miss you too.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
I thought maybe you could use
a little frap action.
Wouldn't that be consorting
with the enemy?
I'm just an outsider.
Although, if I was a gambler,
I would be leaning
towards team Trish.
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
A lot of memories in here.
And trophies.
In 48 hours
I'll have another one.
It must be strange competing
against your best friend.
Ex.
You know, she doesn't even care
about winning.
She's only invested
to take me down.
I've heard some of the tales,
you guys were legends.
We were.
I actually remember
the day that it started.
They had just moved
into the neighborhood
and there was this mom
at school, Bree Flanigan,
Miss Perfect.
You know,
she was the head of the PTA,
do the best parties,
gourmet snacks
at soccer games, you know.
And every year,
she won Best Holiday House.
And every year
I tried to take her down.
But Diana, she just walked
over here one day
and offered to help, you know,
for her it's an art,
it's not a competition.
And that Christmas
she was here every single day.
And we won.
Or I won.
And after that we were team.
You really miss her.
Yeah, well...
I'll get over it.
This is the one place
my mom won't look for me.
I'm pretty sure
no place is safe from Trish.
We're like the Montagues
and the Capulets.
Didn't Romeo
and Juliet end up dead?
- We should stop talking. Here!
- Yeah, we should.
I'm terrible at this.
No, you're not.
I don't even know
what we're painting,
but I'll take a guess
that it's a reindeer.
Whistling marmot.
You know, seeing as I don't know
how long I'm gonna be here,
and being that this is
the most amount of human contact
I've had in a while.
Can I take you out to dinner?
I, I...
I'm sorry, that is so sweet.
- But?
- I...
I don't think I'm ready yet
to have dinner with a person...
I mean, a man besides my son.
Did I tell you
that I have a kid?
I mean, well, he's not a kid,
he's a grown up,
but he's back at home,
is nice to have him here.
Not that I need to have
a guy in my house
- or I'm like...
- Pretty recent divorce.
Yeah.
Yeah, we've been separated
for a year
but we just finalized
our divorce.
Mine it's been five years.
It gets easier.
Well, pencil me
in five years from now.
Sure.
Yeah.
Well, I'm here for the reindeer,
- so I'd better get back to it.
- Yeah.
It's... You did good, did well.
Right.
Nice seeing you again, Diana.
It's really nice
to see you, Nick.
You still have your dolls?
They're not dolls.
They're actually
limited edition action figures
and they're only there
because I'm selling them online.
I find that hard to believe.
Okay, maybe I'm not
selling them but I could.
They are collector's items.
You still have
your My Little Pony?
Absolutely not.
- Spice Girls?
- No.
Jonas Brothers
autographed poster?
Okay, maybe.
But it's in a box at least.
- That makes it better.
- Pooh Bear! Are you home?
I forgot my phone charger.
- Pooh Bear?
- No.
Sweetie?
- Yeah, just taking a nap.
- Hey, do you have any laundry?
I figured I may as well do
a load while I'm here.
No, we're good. I'm good!
Really? Even those dirty socks
and underwear
festering in the corner?
No, no, I'll just burn those.
No, I want him higher than that!
No, no, no!
Now it looks lopsided!
Can you just put him
a lot higher?
Way higher than that!
Okay, I can do Downward Donner,
Plank Prancer,
Reclining Rudolph.
I feel like I'm missing
something, Skye, help me.
- Where do you want this elf?
- No, no, no.
That goes on "Elves Gone Wild"
section over there.
You should've said that earlier.
Something over here is missing.
What is it?
It's something else.
Jake!
Oh, honey I realized
what it was I needed to do.
Look at this.
I call it,
"Long may they rain-deer."
It's good, right?
I can live with that.
Fred! Fred! There are no more
wire reindeer on aisle 10.
I just sold
the last one to Mrs. Logan
like two minutes ago.
Mrs. Logan.
Okay.
Mrs. Logan! Excuse me.
Mrs. Logan!
- Hi, excuse me.
- Oh, Trish,
your house is looking great.
Oh, thank you so much.
It's just I really need
that reindeer.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is for my granddaughter.
I'm sure you could find her
something else.
No, I can't.
This is what she wants.
She's seven. She'll get over.
She's making a diorama.
I'll give you 50 bucks.
No!
It's a $30 profit!
It's not for sale!
- How about a hundred?
- No!
- I told you it's not for sale!
- Two hundred?
- No! It's my reindeer!
- Mrs. Logan!
Where is your holiday spirit?
Calm down, ladies!
Yes!
No!
You k*lled my reindeer.
Oh...
I'm sorry, Mrs. Logan.
I'm so sorry.
I don't what came over me.
We all get caught up
in the holiday spirit, dear.
On the other hand,
I hope Diana takes you down.
She's lost
all the holiday spirit.
Are you okay, Mrs. Logan?
Do you need anything,
Mrs. Logan?
What's the problem?
Where's the holiday spirit?
It's okay, it's okay.
Okay, okay.
I can work with this.
So good.
Good.
Oh! Good.
Good.
Very good!
♪ ...For Christmas
and a Happy New Year ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
I need a Blitzen.
No, you need a tranquilizer.
We are running out of time.
Okay? Chop-chop.
Look at this.
Is that my stag?
- What?
- Hold this.
Do not come one step further!
Give me the hammer.
- That's my stag.
- You gave it to me.
Nope. I lent it to you.
You never brought it back.
Fine.
I want to make something
very clear to you.
Skye does not love you more
than she loves me.
What are you talking about?
Diana said that?
And worse.
Mom, that's crazy.
You know I love you.
More than her?
How can you ask me that?
Because we never talk anymore.
Because it's always so intense.
I don't want to be thinking
about the future all the time.
But you're always pushing it
and pushing it.
Look, I know you can't help it,
but it's too much.
Honey.
Yeah?
Could I have the hammer?
Sorry.
I just...
I just need the hammer.
Yeah.
Blitzen.
- Hey.
- Thanks for meeting me.
- What are you doing?
- I need a Blitzen.
I need it
for the judging tonight.
Blitzen?
Skye, aren't you
a little worried
that you're turning in
your mother?
What's wrong with that?
Well, for one thing she's
completely out of control.
What about your mom?
You love my mom.
Not more than mine.
Wait, what?
- Did I miss something?
- Look,
this thing with us,
it isn't gonna work.
Wow!
You're ending this
because of them.
It started because of them.
Not for me.
Jake.
You're really bailing
because of our moms?
Or because you're scared
you might be feeling something?
It's just...
The last thing I need right now
is another relationship.
We hated each other before. No
reason we can't go back to that.
Can we still be friends?
I don't know.
Maybe we never were.
t*nk, I'm a horrible person.
All right, t*nk.
It's time for the competition.
Come along.
There are many more
houses to judge.
That's nice.
Yeah, they went through
a lot of trouble.
We can get a good sh*t
right here...
Let's go.
Yes, it looks like
a tranquil town
full of holiday cheer,
but scratch the surface,
you'll find a nest
full of Christmas vipers...
Xander, what are we doing here?
Didn't you get my message?
Yes, I got it. Okay,
pan over there. Get that stuff.
Listen, you work
for American Life,
which means I own the story
and it's gonna be big.
You should watch, we start
streaming Christmas Eve.
- You can't do this.
- Watch me.
Pan over there.
Get some white chalk,
we're coming up
to Diana's house.
That's so cool.
Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Oh, Kendall,
you brought the whole crew.
- That is so fantastic.
- No, Diana...
Listen, everything you see here
on my lawn is biodegradable.
Nothing you see
will hurt the environment.
Yoo-hoo! There's no need to film
second place over there.
Come on, come on over here.
Hi!
Hi! It's good to see you.
I have Rice Krispie treats,
fresh gingerbread cookies
and white hot chocolate
to wash it all down.
Why?
Because there's always
room for dessert!
Wow!
What's the big deal if she wins?
She won't.
♪ Hark!
The herald angels sing ♪
♪ Glory to the new-born king ♪
♪ Peace on earth
and mercy mild ♪
She went low, I went lower.
♪ Joyful, all ye nations rise ♪
♪ Join the triumph
of the skies ♪
♪ With the angelic
host proclaim ♪
Mom!
Oh...
Okay.
- Did you just step me?
- Are you kidding me?
- No. Oh!
- Troop Nine?
You might as well called
trained assassins.
You bribed the judges.
- You yellowed my snow.
- Oh, come on.
That was Mrs. Logan's dogs
because I couldn't...
Oh!
Santa!
Oh!
Oh!
No!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, God!
Oh!
Snowball fight!
Housewives Brawl!
sh**t, sh**t!
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
Stop it!
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
We are in North Pole, Vermont,
watching an all-out
Christmas w*r,
where two backstabbing
former friends
tried to destroy each other.
- Turn it off!
- Right before the...
Turn it off.
- Kendall, get out of the way.
- No.
Oh, my God!
What do you mean "no"?
This is a hatchet job.
She played us.
- What kind of story is this, Kendall?
- I'm so sorry.
It wasn't supposed
to be like this. Not at first.
I invited you into my home.
I invited you over
for Christmas dinner.
Christmas dinner?
That's our thing.
Everyone, American Life online,
The Real Housewives
of the North Pole.
Tune in, we start streaming
on Christmas Eve.
You are not American Life.
You're a low life.
A sleazeball, immoral,
pathetic Scrooge-bag.
Oh, no, don't break that
or I'll sue you.
You would also have to break
cameras B and C as well.
Fine. I quit.
You already quit.
You...
You ruined Christmas.
You ruined everything.
Well, I guess you don't have
to worry about that anymore,
because I'm done
with this place.
I'm selling our house.
And I forfeit.
You're kidding!
Why would she do that?
Looks like we have a new winner.
The Golden Reindeer Award
goes to Diana Forester!
No, no, no, I forfeit too.
I forfeit too. I forfeit too.
What is she doing?
Please tell me you got that.
How's London, dad?
Very English. Hey, guess what?
- I got the account.
- Oh, I knew you would.
Yeah. Congratulations, dad.
- That's great.
- Thanks, thanks, honey.
We miss you.
I miss you too.
If you guys don't mind,
I'm gonna go to my room.
But it's Christmas Eve.
It doesn't really feel like it.
- Merry Christmas, dad.
- Merry Christmas, baby.
I'll be right back. Skye, wait.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm always
on your case. I just...
I just want what's best for you.
I know.
But I'm not you, mom.
I don't want what you want,
I want something else.
Well, you were right.
About what?
Everything.
Turn down the account.
What?
I don't care about moving.
I don't care
about this house anymore,
or that stupid competition,
which I've forfeited by the way.
I've been spending all this time
creating this perfect image,
so that nobody
would see what a mess I am.
Well, I don't care
what anyone thinks anymore.
I only care about you and Skye.
And next time,
I'm going on the trip with you.
I feel like a change of scenery
will do us good.
Now there's the Trish
I fell in love with.
I love you, honey.
I love you too.
Hey. I'm going to give you
your Christmas present
right now.
I thought we were doing
handmade gifts.
We are. I signed it.
Mom this is too much.
No, no, no,
I had a great season.
I don't need you
to worry about me
because I'm going
to be just fine
and I want you
to take that money
and go somewhere you wanna go,
do something
that you want to do, okay?
You're going to figure it out.
I did.
Thank you.
-I love you, you're welcome, sweetie.
♪ Stockings hanging
from the chimney ♪
♪ Lights are shining
on the tree ♪
♪ Mistletoe with leaves
of holly ♪
♪ They're a beautiful
sightseeing ♪
♪ But each year
I always dream of ♪
♪ Just one thing
that comes above ♪
♪ Looking out the window
each night ♪
♪ Hoping that it just might ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
♪ Cover all the world in white ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
♪ Making an enchanting sight ♪
♪ Oh, what I would give? ♪
♪ To see that wonderland again ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
♪ Cover all the world in white ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
♪ Making an enchanting sight ♪
♪ Ooh! ♪
♪ Oh, please ♪
♪ Snow for Christmas ♪
- Troop Nine?
- Oh!
You might as well
called trained assassins.
You bribed the judges.
- You yellowed my snow.
- Oh, come on.
That was Mrs. Logan's dogs
because I couldn't...
Wait.
Santa!
Thank you, Santa!
Snowball fight!
- Troop Nine?
- Oh, come on.
That was Mrs. Logan's dogs
because I couldn't...
wait.
Santa! Thank you, Santa!
Snowball fight!
I forfeit!
as well called
trained assassins.
You bribed the judges.
- You yellowed my snow.
- Oh, come on.
That was Mrs. Logan's dogs
because I couldn't...
Please!
Santa! Thank you, Santa!
Snowball fight!
What are you doing here?
And why are you
dressed like that?
All my clothes
are in the laundry
and I wanted
to talk to you tonight.
Are you legit crazy?
Maybe. And maybe I'm also
jobless and living at home,
but I'm also hopelessly
in love with you.
Jake.
I'm sorry
about what I said before.
I'm sorry, too.
You were right.
I was scared, I still am.
Me too.
But I think I'm more scared
of losing you, and...
And also falling.
Yeah, I don't want this to end
like Romeo and Juliet.
Me neither.
So what do we do?
Get in here.
I was hoping you'd say that.
Okay.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I got it, I got it.
- Come on.
- Wait.
Hush! Hush!
She's gonna listen to us.
- She's gonna hear us.
- Come on. Let's go.
- Let's go, let's go.
- Really?
- Oh!
- Go! Go!
Merry Christmas!
Looks like someone made
the naughty list.
How long has this been going on?
Well, there's 12 Days
of Christmas.
You've been lying to us
this entire time.
Lying, ice skating,
drinking your wine.
We're in a relationship...
I think.
- Yeah.
- So the both of you
were just gonna have
to get used to it.
And while we're on the subject
of getting used to things,
I'm not going
to grad school next year.
I'm taking a gap year.
And I'm gonna take a year,
no gap.
Yeah, we're gonna teach English
to kids in Africa.
Or South America.
We haven't really decided.
Really, I know. We haven't
really talked about it.
- We will.
- I know.
Well, let's us know.
I think...
This is...
This is...
I think that...
Sounds amazing.
Really?
I thought you might be upset.
All we've ever wanted
is for the two of you
to get together.
We could be in laws.
- We could be co-grandparents!
- Yes!
- Okay! Okay!
- Let's not jump the g*n here, please.
Slow it down.
Are you really gonna move?
I don't know.
I'm so sorry, Trish. I...
I behaved like a crazy person.
And I'm so sorry that I threw
the frap in your face.
It was kind of refreshing.
You know? It was nice.
I only said
those terrible things
because I'm jealous of how
you and Skye are together.
Because she's not mine.
I mean ask Jake.
It is not easy being my son.
You don't have to...
You were right.
I have been leaning on him
way too much this year
and then I took it out on you.
Hey, what are friends for?
Merry Christmas.
Oh, Kendall.
You're wasting your time here.
There is nothing here to sh**t.
I'm not here for that.
Actually I quit.
But I do have something
for both of you.
Oh.
Oh, thank you, Kendall.
The thing is, I lost sight
of why I became a writer
in the first place.
To bring a little
happiness to people.
I'm so sorry for everything.
But you'll be happy to know
that people were too busy
celebrating Christmas
to watch the piece
of trash website.
- I watched it.
- I saw the whole thing.
- Everything.
- Every frame.
I'm so embarrassed
of how I acted.
Okay, well,
I guess I better get going.
You can't just leave.
- What?
- No, it's Christmas.
Yeah, I mean...
And the spirit of Christmas
is all about...
Forgiveness.
- I'm so sorry. I missed you.
- I missed you too.
I'm so sorry.
Why don't I have my camera now?
Mom.
They came back.
They're back!
They did make it this year.
Jake.
It's a Christmas miracle.
You see there?
It's just magical!
Hey, look who it is.
He brought the reindeer back.
Okay, if that's not a sign,
I don't know what is.
Okay, all right.
You found them.
Well, they found us.
Listen, everything
I said before,
I was just scared.
I haven't been single
in a really long time,
everything is different,
and I wouldn't even know
what to say on a first date.
If you don't know what to say,
start with "Merry Christmas."
I can do that.
And then maybe we can try
"Happy New Year."
Will you still be here
in New Year's?
Well, I thought
that once I found the reindeer
I'd want to leave, but I...
I don't.
That is great
because Groundhog's Day
around here is pretty epic.
Don't say.
It's like
a happy little family again.
Duty calls.
Yeah.
- See you.
- Yeah.
There's so many of them.
Did you see that?
What?
That reindeer had a red nose.
- Come on.
- Shut up and kiss me.
No, I'm not kidding, it...
Have to have my photo.
You know I do, I do.
Okay, get in your positions,
in front of the tree.
Are you sure
you don't wanna be on it?
Maybe next year.
Yeah. Maybe next year.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
All right.
Okay. Get together.
Say, "Cheese."
We have a different tradition.
Ready?
Pumpkin Cheesecake!
♪ I want it to be Christmas ♪
♪ I swear
it should be Christmas ♪
♪ I wish it could be
Christmas every day ♪
♪ I hear
the sleigh bells ringing ♪
♪ I feel the magic in the air ♪
♪ I see the snowflakes
falling on everything ♪
♪ I know the Christmas is here ♪
♪ Now all the presents
are stacked under the tree ♪
♪ And all the lights
are home... ♪
♪ And everybody
is going out caroling ♪
♪ 'Cause it's that time... ♪
Housewives of the North Pole, The (2021)
Moderator: Maskath3