[chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
- We'll be right back with more of the life cycle
of the dung beetle, right after this.
- [chuckles]
Dung. - Yeah. [chuckles]
Dung!
- It's cold in here.
- Hey, Butt-Head, that dog just talked.
- He did not.
Dumbass.
- Won't you please take me into you nice,
warm home. - See? His lips aren't moving.
- Um, oh, yeah.
- He's, like, communicating telepathetically.
- Oh, yeah.
- Every year, we k*ll thousands of dogs
like the one you see here
just because they weren't adopted in time.
We don't like to do it, but we have to.
It's the law. - Whoa. [chuckles]
- Adopt a dog now before it's too late.
- Hey, Beavis, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Yeah. [chuckles]
Those dung beetles are pretty cool.
[both chuckle]
- Dumbass.
[Moist's "Push" playing]
[chuckles] He's thinking.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
Oh, I see.
It's like, you tap yourself
on the side of the head to think.
I see. I haven't tried that.
[both chuckling]
- ♪ A little bit more than I ever wanted ♪
♪ A little bit more than you could ever say ♪
- This guy pronounces words weird.
- Yeah, really.
[imitating] ♪ A little bit more ♪
♪ Than you could ever say ♪
[both chuckling]
♪ Fade away, fade away ♪
What kind of an accent is that?
- Uhh, I think that's the way they talk
in, like, Wussylvania.
[both chuckling] - Oh, yeah.
And I was, like, thinking he was from California.
[both chuckling]
- ♪ And drive me through ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
- What's that dude's problem?
- Uh, it's like, he's a little too into the music.
- Yeah, really. It's kind of embarrassing.
- Yeah. The other dudes in the band
are probably, like, going,
"Uh, God, I wish he wouldn't do that.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. [both chuckling]
- Whoa, what's he doing? - Yeah, yeah.
- He's like, "Come on, come on, open it up.
"Come on, give me my damn candy bar back.
"I wasn't done yet. I was saving that
"for after the video.
Spit it out!"
- That was stupid, Beavis.
- Oh. I thought it was kinda funny.
[both chuckling]
You know, like--you know-- - Beavis,
stop trying to be funny. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
[both chuckling]
- ♪ Lock it down and drive me through ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
- Our dog's gonna be cool. [chuckles]
We'll have to, like, teach him to do cool tricks and stuff.
- Yeah. [chuckles] Sit, boy.
Sit. Sit!
Sit or I'll kick your ass!
[both chuckling] Yeah.
- That's not a cool trick.
A cool trick is, like, to teach him
to, like, bite stuff.
- Yeah, yeah. Bite, bite, bite!
Bite everything. Yeah.
- We're gonna teach him to, like,
bite stuff that sucks. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[both chuckling]
- This is gonna be cool.
- Hi, can I help you?
- Uh, we'd like to see the big dogs, please.
- Yeah, the ones that bite. [chuckles] Yeah.
- Right back there.
[dogs barking] [both chuckling]
- Wuss, wuss.
Shih Tzu, wuss. - Shih Tzu. [chuckles]
- Whoa! [chuckles]
Uhh, come here, doggy.
[growling]
Uhh, Beavis, the test.
- Shih Tzu. - Come here, dumb ass.
- Oh, yeah.
[growling] - Don't worry, dude. [chuckles]
[sniffs, whines]
- Ah! Dog germs!
- Uhh, that answer was incorrect.
The penalty is death.
[chuckles]
Wuss, wuss, wuss.
[barks] Whoa!
Beavis, the test. Hurry up.
[crunching] - [screams] Oww!
Ah, he bit me! - [chuckles]
- Ahh, he bit me, damn it!
- We have a winner. [chuckles]
- Ow!
- Uh, come on, uh... - Ow. Ow.
Cut it out! - Uhh, Spot.
- Ow. - Whoa, there, boys.
Where do you think you're going with that pup?
- No, cut it out! - Uhh, we, like,
adopted him. - Ow! Yeah, he's--
Ow! He's ours. [shirt ripping]
- Yeah, it ain't that simple, boys.
- Cut it out! - Now,
have either of you two boys
ever taken care of a dog before?
[both chuckling] [dog barks]
- Yeah.
Cut it out! Down!
[barks] Get away! Ah!
- Well, that ain't important.
You look like responsible boys.
Now, you do know what a dog like this eats, don't you?
- Uhh, garbage?
- Ow! Ow! Cut it out!
Get down. Down!
- Well, dog food, actually.
Dry is best. - No! No!
- I'll give you boys some coupons before you leave.
- Ow! Ow! - Okay, now,
if your dog goes to the bathroom in the house,
what do you do? - Rub his nose in it. Yeah.
- Uhh, I'd kick his ass.
- Yeah, rub his nose in it, then kick his ass.
Yeah. Ow!
[thud] [dog whines]
- No. You can't never hit your dog,
no matter what he does. [clanging]
[barking] - If he takes a dump
in my house, I'm gonna kick his ass.
- No. Oh, my nads! Ah, ow! No!
- Okay, now here's a pamphlet on that.
[barking] - Now, if we can just
get that $ adoption fee--
Um-- [barking]
- [chuckling] [urine splashing]
- I tell you what, boys, I think
we'll just waive that fee.
Could you please get that dog out of here?
- Okay. [both chuckling]
Sit down.
[crunching] Ow! No!
Cut it out! Ahh!
[Grim Reaper's "Rock You to Hell" playing]
- [laughs] - Ha ha ha ha.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
- Ha ha ha ha.
- ♪ What's wrong ♪ - Ah!
Oh, no. Is this Grim Reaper?
Oh, God! No, damn it.
[both chuckling]
- Uhh! - Ahh!
[both laugh] What was that?
Was that a bulldog?
- I think it was a Shih Tzu.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
Shih Tzu!
Shih Tzu. - You know, maybe if they
put more suck bands in prison, like...
- Ahh! [both chuckling]
- People would, like, you know,
try to stay out of prison.
- Maybe it would have, um, a positive,
um, effect on some generations of the youth.
- Beavis, quit trying to sound smart.
- Oh, yeah. Um-- Actually, um,
I think they should all just get the chair.
- Yeah.
- Including Grim Reaper.
[both chuckling]
- He's got a fat, little face.
- Yeah. He's got, like,
that really bloated face look like you get
when you eat too many of those urinal mints.
- Uhh, what are you talking about, Beavis?
- You know, those little round things
in the urinals, you know, that they put there,
you know, so you can, you know, like,
freshen up after you take a leak.
- Beavis, you're not supposed to eat those.
- Oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I knew that.
Yeah, I was just kidding. [chuckles]
- Dumbass.
[both chuckling]
[Nitzer Ebb's "Fun To Be Had" playing]
[chuckling] Hi, I'm your tour guide.
Welcome to the Wuss Gardens.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
It was here that George Washington
first chopped off his wiener, and then he lied.
Yeah. [both chuckling]
- ♪ Like a chain, an anchor ♪
- [imitating] Like an anka.
- Yeah. Like an anka.
- An anka. [both chuckling]
- Yeah. It's pronounced anchor.
Anchor. Can you say that?
Err! Err! Dumbass!
Anchor.
- ♪ Is what you get ♪
♪ What you say should be from your own mind ♪
-"What you say should be from your own mind"?
[chuckles] That's stupid.
- Yeah, really, 'cause, like,
sometimes I can't hear all those voices in my mind,
you know, and then--
wait a minute, Butt-Head, wait a minute.
I'm getting something. Um--
Uh, yep. Uh--
Butt-Head, I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
[speaking gibberish]
- [chuckles] Hey, Beavis, come here.
This sucks.
- Hang on a second. I'll be right out.
[chuckles]
[speaking gibberish]
[both chuckling]
- Uhh.
Slow down, Spot.
Uhh.
Uhh, okay, Beavis.
Throw the stick.
[barks]
Fetch, dog wipe. - Yeah, go get it.
Yeah. [barking]
[both chuckling]
Uh, check it out.
He missed the stick.
- Um, he's still running, Butt-Head. Yeah.
- Yeah. He's, like, way past it.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
[somber music]
- What a dumb dog. - Yeah.
- What a dumbass.
We should get another one.
[both chuckling]
[rock music]
♪ ♪
[Phish's "Down with Disease" playing]
♪ ♪
- Whoa, they're, like, diving into the fish t*nk.
[chuckles] That's cool.
- Diving into the what?
- The fish t*nk, Beavis.
- Oh. I thought those things were, like,
just really fancy clear toilets.
[both chuckling]
I mean, you know, I usually, like,
you know, just take a leak in those things really.
- Beavis, you think everything's a toilet.
- Well, there's fish in there, right?
And they go to the bathroom in there, right?
- Uhh, yeah.
- So it's a toilet. See?
- Uhh, yeah.
They drink their own wee wee.
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
Fish are stupid. - Yeah.
They're like, "Uhh, I guess I'll take a dump
and then swim around in it."
[both chuckling] - Yeah.
That sounds pretty cool.
Hey, Butt-Head, check this out.
Do you like seafood?
- Uhh, yeah.
Uh, Beavis,
that joke only works if you have food in your mouth.
- Hm. - Dumbass.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, use your imagination, dillhole.
[both chuckling]
♪ ♪
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
05x20 - Bad Dog
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.