[chuckling]
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
- What in tarnation's a skyscraper?
- It's a very tall building, Mr. Clampett.
- What in tarnation is a building?
- It's a structure where people live or work.
With all your money, you could easily erect one.
- What in tarnation's a--
- Did someone say "erect"?
- Uh. [both laugh]
- Yeah. - Who in tarnation are you?
- 'Cause I reckon I can erect things
as well as any boy can.
- You sure can. - Yeah.
Me too.
[both sniggling]
- Hey, Beavis.
We need to, like, strike oil
just like those dudes.
Then we'll be able to get money and chicks and stuff.
- Yeah, uh, yeah.
We are there. [both laugh]
We're there.
[light rock music]
- [laughs]
"Aspen Extreme."
- That movie sucked.
[laughs] I sat through that whole damn sucky movie
for two hours, and that chick never got naked.
- Yeah.
It's a good thing we snuck into that movie,
'cause if we had to pay,
I would've been kicking ass all over the place.
- Yeah, really.
How could she not get naked
when they say "ass" right in the title?
- Yeah. [both chuckle]
- ♪ Uplift the moods ♪ - Whoa.
I didn't know that, like, uh, rap dudes skied.
- Um, I don't think these are real rap dudes, Butt-Head.
- Yeah. - [chortles]
- They thought if they, like, went to a ski resort
that they'd be sure that no real rap dudes
would find 'em and beat the crap outta them.
- It's the only place they're safe.
They probably, like, sit around the corner
and, like, have their, like, big ouncers
of hot chocolate. - Yeah.
- No chicks? No butts?
- Give me some marshmallows, biatch.
- [laughs]
- Change the channel, Butt-Head.
I've had enough of this.
- Okay. I think it's over, though.
- Oh, good, it's over.
No, no.
- Uh, now it's over.
- Oh, okay. Now it's over.
[sighs] Oh, no. Damn it!
[laughs] Come on. Change it, Butt-Head.
This song's never gonna end.
- What a bunch of butt-munches.
[rhythmic music]
- Uh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
[both laugh]
Ooh, I've seen these guys before.
- No, you haven't, Beavis. We've never seen this.
- Yes, I have.
Aah! - [laughs]
- I've been havin' nightmares about these guys.
Uh, what is this?
Come on, Butt-Head. Change it. This is freakin' me out.
- [chuckles]
- Beavis, you wuss.
- Aah! Look! He's looking at me!
- How could you be scared of these guys?
- You don't understand, Butt-Head.
You haven't seen what these guys do.
I have these nightmares, and it's like, they tie me
to a chair... - Mm-hmm.
- And there's, like-- they dance around me
and look at me and go... [vocalizing]
And then the get medieval on my ass.
- [chuckles]
- Aah, he's waving at me!
And it's like--it's like they're smiling because, like,
they know what they're gonna do to me.
And you know what else freaks me out?
- Uh. - It's like,
they have 'nads on their heads, see?
See? See? They're just dancing around now,
but--but--but pretty soon they're gonna do it, see?
- Beavis, those aren't 'nads.
Those are, like, uh, antennas.
- Well, but, I mean, how do you know there aren't, like,
'nads inside the antennas?
Aah, no! Not the beach ball! No!
- [laughs] - No! Aah!
[glitches]
No, no. Come on, come on.
Besides it's like, I think they use those
in tennis to, like, receive evil messages.
- Beavis, you wussy. - [yells]
Oh. Oh, good. I think it's over.
- [cackles] - [sighs]
- Yeah. [laughs] - [chuckles]
[both grunting]
Digging for oil sucks.
- Um. - [groans]
[cackles]
- Um.
Yeah, it sucks.
- Hey, Beavis,
we're in a hole.
[both laugh] - Oh, yeah.
Hole.
[strains] Hey, Butt-Head. Butt-Head!
I just, like, felt something.
- Uh. - Yeah. [laughs]
- Okay.
- Oh, yeah. [chuckles]
Wait, no, no.
I mean, I felt something, like,
with my shovel.
Come here. Check it out.
- [laughs] [shovel clanging]
- [groaning]
[both coughing]
It's oil! It's oil, Butt-Head!
We found oil! [coughs]
It's oil! - [coughs] Cool.
A bubblin' crude.
- [laughs] Yeah.
[both cough]
Oil, that is.
- Black gold.
- Texas tea. [laughs]
- Ugh. [coughs]
Oil smells like turds.
- Yeah. [both cough]
I bet that's why it's so expensive.
[sniffs] - [coughs]
Yeah. [both laugh]
- [coughs] - We're gonna be rich.
- Yeah. Oil. [both cough]
[sniffs] - [coughs]
[both chuckling]
- We're gonna be rich.
- Yeah, me too.
- We're there, dude.
- Yeah.
[laughs]
Um, we're, like, still here.
I thought we were gonna be rich.
- Uh, hmm. Let's see.
[mumbling gibberish]
Move away from there, so, uh...
I think we need to, like, sell it and stuff first.
- Oh, yeah. [laughs] Cool.
[bin creaking]
[both grunting]
- Ugh, well, I guess we found the break in the sewage line.
- Damn, and I just showered day before yesterday.
[buzzer rings]
- [grunts]
- What in the hell?
- Uh, we're, like, selling oil.
- Yeah. Black gold.
Texas tea. [chuckles]
Oil rules.
- Well, it sure as hell does.
You know, I keep a -gallon drum of oil
in my garage, but oil is highly combustible.
It has to be handled properly.
You can't just go door-- - Oil smells like turds.
- Yeah. - Besides, that stuff's...
- Like expensive turds. - Liable to spill
if you carry it around
in an open garbage can.
And you and me are gonna tangle
if one drop of that gets on my property.
- Uh, so, like, how many barrels would you like, sir?
- Yeah. We don't have all day.
- Damn it, boys. Get that barrel of crap
the hell outta here now.
- What a dumbass.
Get out here and pick this stuff up.
- Yeah, really.
Hey, Butt-Head, check it out.
A rubber. - Oh, yeah.
[both chuckle]
[upbeat rock music]
♪ ♪
- ♪ They say that all is fair ♪ - Um.
Is this Alice Cooper?
- Uh, this is a chick, Beavis.
- Hmm. - This is an all-chick band.
- Oh, yeah.
You couldn't put Alice Cooper
in an all-chick band anyway
'cause, like, all the chicks would, like,
just be all over him.
- Yeah. [both laugh]
It'd be the same way if I was in an all-girl band.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or, like, me or something, yeah.
Whoa, that chick can punch.
- Uh, I think that was a dude, Beavis.
- No way, Butt-Head. That's a chick.
It's one of those girl boxers.
That's cool. They can kick ass.
They get in the ring and bitch slap each other.
- Beavis, that's not a chick.
That's a dude. - No, it's not.
You said it's an all-girl band.
It's, like, an all-girl band. They get a chick boxer.
Whoa, look at the 'nads on that chick.
- [laughs]
Beavis, chicks don't have 'nads.
How many times do I have to tell you that?
- I know that, Butt-Head.
I just thought maybe, like, you know--
maybe they put 'em on, you know,
'cause she was fighting.
Like clip-on 'nads. [chuckles]
- You're a damn weirdo, Beavis.
And you're stupid too.
- Shut up.
- And chicks don't like you. [laughs]
- Shut up, Butt-Head.
Some chicks like me.
[both laugh]
- Turn off the main valve!
- Uh, hey.
Are you fartknockers trying to steal our oil?
- No,
but we fixed your sewage leak.
- Uh, sewage?
That doesn't come out of the ground, dumbass.
It comes from, like, toilets and stuff.
- No, it doesn't.
it comes out of your ass.
Dumbass. [both laugh]
- Yeah. [chuckles]
It comes out of your butt, butt-much.
[engine turns over] - Yeah.
It comes out of your weed, dillweed.
- Uh, yeah. [laughs]
Uh, it, uh...
uh, wait. I got one.
Uh. [both laugh]
[alternative rock music]
- Um, is this a Jon Stewart show?
- Uh, no.
That's on another channel now.
I think this is, uh--
uh--
- [screams] - Whoa.
- [screams maniacally]
[both chortle]
- That was cool.
- Yeah, thanks.
- I was talking about the chick's scream, Beavis.
- I thought mine was pretty cool.
This sounds like--kind of like one of those records you get
for Halloween--like those sound effects records,
like, of people screaming and stuff.
- Halloween is cool. - Yeah, yeah.
- 'Member that old lady down the street
that used to, like, give all the kids donuts
that she made herself? - Mm, mm-hmm.
- It's like her husband was dead,
and her kids were all grown up and lived away.
- Yeah, I remember that, yeah.
- So it's like the only thing in life
that really made her happy was making
these homemade donuts
for the kids on Halloween.
- Yeah, that's right. That's right, mm-hmm.
- But then I told everybody
that she was, like, putting dr*gs in 'em
and needles and stuff.
- [laughs] - So she got arrested.
- Oh, yeah.
[both sniggling]
That was kind of messed up, Butt-Head.
- Yeah. - Butt-Head, shut up
and check that out. - [screams]
- [screams insanely]
- [laughing]
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I--I should hook up with these chicks.
[bluesy rock music]
♪ ♪
05x14 - Beaverly Buttbillies
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Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.
Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.