04x02 - Cow Tipping

[bunniefuu]

COW TIPPING

Carrie Robertson is a milk drinker,
she gets a lot of attention.

From me, she gets total attention.

She's hot.

I think I'm "at attention".

Carrie Robertson got a
restraining order against me.

But I'm drinking milk, so I know
someday she will come back.

- I hate milk.
- Milk sucks.

Milk. It's not bad.

Brought to you by the
local Dairy Association.

Hey Beavis, I heard that if you like,
tip a cow over when it's sleeping,

cool stuff happens.

Like what?

It falls over.

Cool.

We're there dude.

Is that Michael Jackson?

I think it's that bee from
the Blind Melon video.

Oh yeah!

Dammit! I'm sick and tired
of seeing crap like this.

Yeah. That'd be cool if like,
Robin Hood came

and like, shot these guys
with an arrow.

Rock on, Beavis.

We can dance, we can dance.
Everything is under control.

This butthole keeps saying he can
dance, but it's like, he can't dance.

Yeah, they need to go, like, to a Pantera
concert to learn how to dance.

Yeah. That would be cool.

They'd get their butts slammed around.

Yeah, they'd get their butts kicked.

And if I was there, I'd start kicking
that one guy in the nads.

- Hey, a fight!
- Yeah, yeah! Fight, fight, fight!

"I thought I saw a pussycat, I did!".

"I thought I saw a pussycat, yeah".

Whoa!

This guy raps fast!

Is not that fast. I can
rap faster than that.

Check this out.

- That was pretty cool, Beavis.
- Yeah. Thanks.

I've been practicing.
Here's another one.

Cool!

Batman!
Batmaaaaan!

- Whoa! That dude just hit Shaq-Attack.
- Yeah. He's gonna get his ass kicked!

"Hores... whores!

Pros... prostitutes?"

Hey, Beavis! They have
whores and prostitutes here!

After we get done tipping the cows over,

we should go,
like, look at 'em.

You don't just look at
them, asswipe! You, like...

look at them naked.

Hey Beavis... there's one.

Tip! Tip!

- Tip! Tip! Fall over!
- Settle down, Beavis.

You're having a cow!

- Hey Beavis... pull its tail.
- No way!

- Maybe milk will come out of its butt.
- Yeah.

- Chocolate milk.
- Yeah!

That sucked!

Getting kicked in the nads
by a cow sucks!

I don't think it was a cow, dude.
I think it was like, a deer.

How'd you know?

It didn't have those fingers.

What fingers?

You know, those fingers by the
cow's butt that you squeeze

- to get like, huh, milk and stuff.
- Oh yeah! Yeah!

Hey Butt-Head, squeeze my finger.

Which one, Beavis? The
finger by your butt?

Yeah! Pull that one.

Old McDonald had a farm, E...

I... Z...

- Is there, like, a Q in there?
- Yeah, yeah.

E-I-Q... V...

M...

This one's ok.

Ok Beavis, you get down behind him

and i'll push him over you.

- This is gonna be cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Ready, dude?
- Yeah. Go for it!

Get it off me, Butt-Head! C'mon, help!

You're touching its butt!

Every time I try to
sleep I have nightmares.

Hey Butt-Head,
I had this nightmare last night,

that like, everything sucked.

It was really scary.

But Beavis, everything DOES suck.

Take it easy, Beavis...

It really sucks when you do that.

Cut it out, Beavis!

You know what, I bet these guys
like, went to college and stuff.

I bet they like, paid attention too.

Yeah.

And you know one thing
about college, Beavis?

It sucks.

That was cool.

No, it wasn't.

Hey Beavis,
do you know what else sucks?

Shut up, Beavis!

I haven't even told you yet.

- Oh yeah, yeah.
- Everytime you do that, it sucks!

Come on, Butt-Head,
get it off me!

Get off him, asswipe!

What are you boys doing to my cow?

- Your cow is like, broken, sir.
- Come on, get it off!

I gotta pee! Come on, get it off me!

Well, the poor dumb creature was
born and bred for slaughter.

So I's reckon there
ain't no harm done

in accelerating it's
departure from God's earth.

Let me fetch my chainsaw.

- This is gonna be cool!
- Oh yeah!

Well, the Lord giveth and
the Lord taketh away.

Better stand back, boy!
This is liable to get messy!

Not me! The cow!