03x24 - The Crush

[bunniefuu]

THE CRUSH

And it now appears that the expl*si*n not
only k*lled everyone inside the building...

Toxic debris from the blast
may have settled in the reservoir

poisoning the entire
county's water supply.

No, that's not it.
Change it.

And the authorities said

there simply hasn't been a bridge disaster
like this in all of human history.

As many as two dozen vehicles

were sent plunging
into the icy depths.

And we've just received word
that the list may include a busload

- That isn't it.
- of missionaries...

And we can now confirm

that the roof collapse here at
the MegaDome has trapped

all fifty thousand
sport fans within.

These are simply folk
like you and me

who bargained for nothing more than
an afternoon of tractor pull excitement.

- That's it. That's it.
- How many of those

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- innocent fans survived,

if any, may not be known
for hours or even days.

But the carnage, the
tragedy, the heartbreak,

the misery, the sorrow, the waste,

the human suffering
are incomprehensible...

It's hammer time.

You can't touch this.

Can't touch this.

Touch this!

I can't touch this.

I can't watch this.

This is stupid.

And it sucks, too.

Look at these
special effects.

These special effects suck.

You have to spit when
you talk, Beavis?

I always try to hock
a loogie when I talk.

You just spit in my
eye, assmunch.

- Is this Pat Nebatar?
- Yeah.

She's that chick that had sexual
intercourse with Dan Henley.

Goodbye to you.

Goodbye to glue!

Goodbye to poo!

Goodbye to poo!

"Call now for live
one-on-one conversations".

"Share your intimate
thoughts!"

"$ 1.95 per minute".

"Must be 18 or older".

Hey Beavis, if we had
a dollar and 95

we could call and share
our intimate thoughts.

We could tell her
that she sucks.

This chick's name is...

T'Pau.

Yeah. That's Spanish
for "this sucks".

He's dressed up like that
dude on the dollar.

You got what I need

but you say he's
just a friend

- I'm pretty cool.
- Oh, baby! You...

got what I need...

Amadeus Markie.

What?

Hey Beavis...

I'm gonna get me one of those gold
chains to put around my neck.

- Me too.
- I would look pretty cool huh?

These nachos are good.

Nachos rule.

Hey Butt-Head... check it out.

Cool.

Where's the preschoolers at

who parked their sucky
little trikes in my space?

lf my arm wasn't so sore
from my new tattoo,

l'd smear both your asses
all over the parking lot.

Cool.

Give me your cherry
Fruity Whips and those nachos

and l might not shove these
handlebars up your butt.

Okay.

Todd's cool!

l think he likes us.

Yeah. Let's go hang with him.

Hi, excuse me.

We're playing over on the courts there

and the music is kind of getting
in the way of our concentration.

- Any chance of getting it turned down?
- No.

Yeah, l was just wondering, because
l really dont see why you can't

enjoy your rock music at
a slightly lower volume.

All right, thanks a bunch.
Have a real nice day, okay?

Why didn't Todd kick
that guy's ass?

He's gonna kick his ass later
when his girlfriend's watching.

Hey, it's those punks from Qwik-Mart.

Kindergarten get out
early today, girls?

That's pretty funny.

What do you fuzz-nuts want?

We came down, 'cause...

We want to hang with you.

Can we join
your g*ng?

Sure you can join, man...

But you gotta take the entrance
exam first. Are you ready?

Hey Slade, let's help
them cram for the exam.

No way.

You guys ready
for the exam?

l guess so.

You guys don't seem too excited.
You pumped?

All right, then.
lt's exam time.

That's cool!

This chick has
a good attitude.

That guy has bigger
boobs than she does.

- Maybe we should touch them.
- It's a dude, Beavis!

Oh yeah.

I forgot.

He does have
big boobs, though.

Those are some
dudes holding their rods.

That's pretty cool.

She should put her
address on the screen

so we know where to go,
so we can touch her.

Why would you need a "dress"?

- You're some kind of... transformer?
- No, Beavis. Not a dress. An address!

You're stupid, Beavis.

Well girls, me and
Slade's been talking

and we just dont think you're quite
ready to join the g*ng, man.

l really wanted to take you,
but Slade said no, man. Sorry.

But if you guys want to try again

come back to the park next week.
And bring some gas money next time.

l knew he liked us.

Todd's cool.

She wants something...

Is that Dianne Reeves?

Yeah!

Depeche Mode is French
for "We are wussies".

Yeah.

I feel you...

Don't feel me, dude.

You can see parts
of her thingies.

This is the morning
of our love!

- Yes!
- Yes!

Yes! Yes!

No! No!
Show the chick!

- Yes!
- Yes!

No! No!
No, this sucks!

He's looking at you, Beavis.

He wants you.

No way!

Tattoos are pretty cool.

For a wussy.