03x08 - Tornado

[bunniefuu]

TORNADO

Okay, everybody!
That cake should be ready now!

Why don't you sing a song,
while I take it out of the oven?

Stew-pendous!

There's a cake in the oven
so sweet and delicious.

Yummy cake in the oven.
We love doing cake.

I'm burning! Kids, help!

This sucks!

Cool!

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

Don't bogart my log, dude!

Why did you enlist if you didn't
want your breast f*ndled?

Yeah, really.

Ahoy, weather fans!

Captain d*ck Jackman here
at the newscenter weather council.

My trusty radar tells
me there is a line

of tornadoes forming in the
western canyon region.

I'll have devastation footage at six,
plus the preschooler of the week!

Whoa!

- We're there, dude.
- Yeah.

- Where?
- The trailer park, dumbass.

Oh, yeah.

Tornadoes are cool.

Yes!

- Now we're getting somewhere!
- Yeah, yeah.

Now we're getting somewhere.

- Even the old dude is cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I like the tornado.
- Yeah, yeah.

Almost everything in
this video is cool.

What do you mean "almost"?

What else do you want?

Well, it would be pretty cool, like,

if somebody puked.

So let it be done.

Check it out Beavis.

- That was disgusting!
- You asked for it, dude.

Yeah, but I didn't
ask for blood in it.

That was beyond the
limits of good taste.

Tornadoes are cool.

They can drive matches
through a two-by-four.

Yeah.

A tornado could smash
a puddle's face with a brick.

Yeah, it could suck a man's
heart out of his chest

and show it to
him before he dies.

Yeah.

They could like, pick up a phonebooth

and move it five miles away

and then put it back without scratching it.

Cool!

Hey Beavis,

check out that trailer!

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Lolita
and this is Tanqueray.

Since we're all about
to die we were wondering

if you guys'd like to be our
last boyfriends on Earth.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Great! Let's go inside!

I'm getting a woodrow.

Yeah.

Hey baby, wanna...

This sucks! We were gonna do it!

You mean I was gonna do it.

You were just gonna spank your monkey.

You wish, dillweed.

This sucks!

Wait a minute...
What's this?

This sucks!

Yeah, it sucks!

- Who's this?
- Yeah, yeah.

What's this buttmunch
doing on a stage?

"You got a backstage pass, sir?"

Yeah, yeah.

... world.

... human race.

- Where did this guy come from?
- Yeah, yeah.

Maybe he's just special.

Yeah.

Well, he is saying balls, and normally
that would be pretty cool...

Yeah, but under these
circumstances, it sucks!

Yeah, usually demolition and
destruction is pretty cool too,

but I don't know, it's, like,
here, it just, like, it falls flat.

Yeah, yeah.

I think even if they had some
fire in this video, it would still suck.

Check it out: It's Krokus coming
to kick their ass.

Yeah, yeah.

It's "The night of the living
bands that suck".

Hey Butt-Head,
you think those two chicks are alive?

Of course not, assmunch.

- They would've try to find us by now.
- Yeah.

Hi, I'm Lolita
and this is Tanqueray.

A couple of skis might
be trying to follow us.

Can we stay with
you guys for a while?

- Whoa! She's one of those grubby girls.
- Yeah, yeah.

- She wants me...
- Yeah. Me too.

Whoa!

- She just had sex?
- Yeah.

- Why don't they show that?
- Yeah.

She said she just had sex.

It wasn't with any of those guys.

If this video had some explosions,
it would be the coolest video ever.

Yeah, and like,
if the music was cool too.

Oh, yeah. And they'd have to
have some, like, better singing.

Yeah. And not those guys.

Yeah, then it would rule!

Check it out, Butt-Head. It's Mallory!
It's that chick from Family Ties.

- Yeah. This is really noisy.
- Yeah. Noise is cool.

This chick is weird.

This chick's mouth is crooked.

I wonder why...

Yeah.

Why is it crooked?

I don't know.

Hey Beavis,

the name of this song is
"50 Foot Queenie".

Yeah, I'd like a 50 foot queenie.

- I'd like a 50 foot weenie.
- Yeah yeah.

That would be cool too.