04x13 - Turkey Time/Floundering Fathers

[bunniefuu]

[Buzzing]

[Rattling]

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

[Whistling and buzzing]

[Splat!]

[Screaming]

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

Heff: okay, we got the cranberries

Sweet potatoes, peas and stuffing.

We're almost ready for your first thanksgiving tomorrow.

Thanks for showing me the ropes, heff.

No problem, rocko.

Now we got to get a turkey for dinner.

Turkey? I didn't know

We need to invite a turkey for dinner.

[Giggles]

Oh, yeah, it's tradition.

Hello, mr. Bighead.

We're here for a turkey.

We're not open yet!

Come back at :.

Aw, come on, mr. Bighead.

Can't we just have a turkey now?

Nope, sorry, can't do it.

Rules are rules!

Both: please, mr. Bighead.

Please, please give us a turkey, come on.

All right! Shut up, already!

Hi, mr. Turkey-- how'd you like to come

To my house for thanksgiving dinner?

Is that the traditional way

To invite a turkey over for dinner?

[Laughing hard]

Yeah, sure, rock.

[Gobbling]

Idiots.

[Gobbling]

Okay, so what's next?

Okay, I'll show you.

First we go stand over by the turkey.

Okay, go ahead.

Go ahead what?

You know.

No, I don't.

[Gobbling]

[Screaming bloody m*rder]

We need that...

To look like this.

Ohh!

[Horns honking]

That's disgusting!

Do you think for one second that I could dothat?

Okay, okay, jeez.

I'll do it myself.

Forget it, heff.

I'm not letting you do it either.

Oh, rock, calm down.

It ain't no big deal.

[Choking]

Now just sit still.

All you got to do is...

Just kind of...

You know, just...

[Spluttering]

See, heff?

It's not so easy, is it?

[Bawling]: I'm hungry!

Mr. Bighead: okay, everyone.

Just hold on.

It's almost :.

Five, four

Three, two, one--

Happy thanksgiving!

[All cheering]

[Coughing]

[Growling]

Oops, heh-heh.

Ooh, there, there must be a jam somewhere.

Oh, boy.

Well, folks, we, we seem to have a problem.

But I'm sure there's a very good explanation.[Crowd snarls]

I-i'm sure... Beats me.

Don't worry, heff.

We can have a nice thanksgiving.

I bought us a nice big vegetarian turkey.

It'll be delicious.

No, it's not the same.

[Gobbling]

Hey! How did the turkey get out?

Hey, turkey! Turkey!

[Gobbling]

Come here!

Turkey?

Oh, hey, heff!

Check it out-- another turkey.

No kidding.

I wonder why all these turkeys showed up here.

Tv announcer: attention citizens of o-town.

Our city is in a state of emergency.

Every turkey in o-town has mysteriously disappeared.

This is quite possibly

The worst crime in o-town history.

Turkeys are meant to be eaten.

We mustfind these turkeys

So thanksgiving can be saved!

But the most important thing to remember is

That it wasn't my fault.

[Crowd snarling]

[Doorbell rings]

[Much gobbling]

Oh, my gosh.

It's mr. Bighead.

Oh, dear.

[Crashing]

[Rocko groaning]

Hello, mr. Bighead.

[Giggling]

Why, you moron!

Why don't you watch...!

Oh, ha-ha, I mean, hello, rocko.

[Sweetly]: and how are you?

I-i'm fine, mr. Bighead, thank you, good night.

Hey, wait!

Yes?

Well, I was wondering...

What are your plans for thanksgiving dinner?

Oh, uh, heh-heh, I don't know.

Well, there aren't any turkeys left in o-town.

And I know you got one this morning

Making you the only one in o-town with a turkey.

So, I thought, well, you know.

We don't have a turkey

And you do.

It's kind of funny, mr. Bighead

Because, guess what?

That turkey I had just ran away.

[Nervous laugh]

Haven't seen him.

Yeah, gone completely.

I know you've got a turkey in there, rocko!

You can't fool me!

How dare you accuse me of...

[Gobbling]

What was that?

Oh, heh-heh, that was me.

She!

I've got a little of that...

Thanksgiving, uh...

Whooping cough going around.

Well, gobble, cough.

I better not stand out here in the cold.

So, happy thanksgiving.

Oh, gobble, cough-cough.

If ed bighead isn't good enough to go to that so-and-so's party

I'm going to find out who is.

[Phone ringing]

Hello, filburt, bighead.

I was wondering

What time are you heading to rocko's

For thanksgiving dinner, hmm?

Rocko didn't tell me about no dinner.

Oh, that's too bad.

I hear he really cooks a delicious turkey.

Oh, well, I'm sure you must be doing something. Bye.

Hello?

Both:yes?

Did you hear about

Rocko's thanksgiving dinner party?

Both: rocko is having a dinner party?

Yes. He's having a party tomorrow.

Both: but we weren't invited.

No, I wasn't invited either.

That's awfully rude.

[All grumbling]

I-i hate him.

I want turkey...

[All badmouthing rocko]

[Gobbling]

[Phone ringing]

Uh, excuse me, watch yourself.

Hello?

All: rocko?

We know you have a turkey!

[Gobbling]

No, uh, I don't.

He, he ran away.

All: you're lying!

We know it!

I already told you, I'm not having turkey.

Hey, rock!

They're talking about you on the tv.

The big news tonight...

Rocko has the only turkey in o-town.

And the selfish slob won't invite anyone for dinner!

But I'm not having a turkey dinner.

What kind of no-good

Inconsiderate, back-stabbing kind of person is this rocko?

Now, wait just a second, there.

If he were a halfway decent person

He would invite his friends

To his fancy- shmancy party.

Fancy-shmancy party?

You heard me! [Glass breaking]

Don't push me!

Yeah? What are you going to do about it?

I'm going to have that party!

And that's the news.

Good night.

[Ringing]

Hello?

All: when do we eat?

Uh, I guess around :.

All: see you then!

[Gobbling]

How are we going to swing this one, rocko?

Heff [on microphone]: hey, everybody out there!

You getting hungry?

Together: yeah.

I can't hear you.

Together: yeah!

Hey, rock, I guess we'll have to throw out all this turkey

Because I can't hear anyone out there!

No, no, we're here!

Well, all right! Yea-ess!

Together: ooh!

[All chattering]

Okay, okay, take it easy.

Plenty of seats for everyone, get comfy.

Hey, all you creatures out there!

We got a great deal for you tonight

But first I'd like you to meet the old bird himself--

Tom turkey!

[Techno dance music, turkey gobbling]

[Wolf whistle]♪ give it to them.

[Crowd cheers, bells ring]

[Horns honking]

[Gobbling]

Yeah! Oh! Yeah!

[Whooping and laughing]

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Okay, everybody.

What do you want?

All: turkey!

Okay, yeah, turkey, turkey...

Now, where did I put that thing, huh?

[Gobbling]

Here you go, mr. Turkey.

Heff: ...had a turkey here somewhere.

Where is that pesky gobbler?

Maybe I left it at home.

Maybe my dog ate it!

[All snarling]

Oh!

Here it is!

Thanks, rocko, it was wonderful.

I mean, you outdid yourself.

I just can't say enough.

Fine, fine, fine.

It was wonderful.

Both: good-bye! Good-bye!

Thanks for coming! Good-bye!

Happy thanksgiving! Bye-bye!

Best meal I ever had. Full as a tick.

Sure was delicious.

Hmm.

Veggie bird?

[Creaking]

[Crashing]

[Frantic gobbling]

We've been had!

[Growling]

Rocko: stop! Let me out!

Heff: me too, please.

[Chanting]: turkey! Turkey! Turkey!

[Playing ominous music]

One!

Rocko: you can't do this!

Two!

Heff: I can't believe you're doing this!

Three!

[Evil laughing]

What are you doing?!

We can't do it, ed.

They're just too cute.

Bighead: they're turkeys!

See?![Gobbling]

They're birds!

They're not people!

So drop that rope!

[Gobbling happily]

Both: hey, everyone!

Are you ready to eat?

[Gobbling enthusiastically]

Both: I can't hear you!

[Gobbling wildly]

Both: all right then...

Just feast your eyes on this!

[Las vegas show music]

[Turkey whistling]

[Horn honking]

[Very happy gobbling]

Rocko: happy thanksgiving, heffer.

Heffer: happy thanksgiving, rocko.

[Cheering]

[Playing marching music]

[Playing "pomp and circumstance"]

Ed bighead: and once again

With ed bighead as grand marshal

Last year's founders day parade was a complete success.

So, keeping that in mind

I submit myself as a candidate for grand marshal

Of this year's founders day parade.

I'll await your decision.

Well, gee, I'm not sure

It's not the kind of decision you run into really fast.

Suppose we make a list

Pros on one side, cons on the other.

All: uh, yes?

Heffer: isn't it glorious?

A giant hamburger made entirely of hot dogs.

Heff, you did tell the parade committee

We were using meat by-products, didn't you?

Of course I did.

I put it on the entry form. See?

You didn't send the entry form in?

Heff!

No.

Today is the deadline.

I, i, i, uh, thought filb was going to do it.

I was sick that day.

I thought you were going to ask rocko.

Oh, yeah.

But I told you I had to work that day.

I asked my imaginary friend ferb to do it.

You lie.

I-i-i... Oh, I forgot!

I'm sorry, guys.

There's still time!

Quick, into the car!

Wait!

Here's our entry form.

Ahead of the deadline

By almost ten seconds.

I'll deal with this.

Rejected? Why?

This parade is to celebrate the founding of o-town.

It's not for foreigners.

Both: no foreigners?

No foreigners?

Honorable committee members

I ask you

Wasn't it foreigners that founded not only o-town

But this entire country?

Creatures from all over came together here

And worked side by...

Balderdash!

O-town is what it is today

Foronereason.

What reason is that?

Follow me.

[Clears throat]

It was on this very rock

Over years ago

[That my ancestor john quincy bighead

Met with the natives of this area

And by using all of his vast diplomatic skill

He negotiated the purchase

Of all the land on which o-town now stands

For a mere two dollars and cents in change

And some breath mints.

He surveyed the land

And although it was .% Swampland

He remained firm in his convictions

That this was the best place to found...

O-town.

So you see

As a blood relation of the founder

I have every right to decide

Who does andwho does not

Participate in the celebration.

Oh, yeah?

Well, there's a little something

Your ancestors didn't know.

What are you talking about?

Watch and learn, laughing boy.

O-town rock:

Nearly years ago on this spot

John quincy bighead bought the fetid swampland

On which o-town was built.

But today we aren't concerned

With what took place on that rock

But what took place beneath o-town rock

On that historic day.

These turtle eggs, laid here

During the great turtle migration almost years ago

Actually predate the o-town purchase

By a matter of hours.

The parent turtles had to run out

To get some throat lozenges, but unfortunately

Because of a genetic propensity for poor eyesight

They were unable to locate the nest again.

Eventually, they moved on, and the eggs laid in this spot

Remained here to become what we know today

As the o-town turtles.

And that's the way it was...

Probably.

So, as you can see

It wasmyancestors who really founded o-town.

Actually, o-town was founded

By my great-great ancestors, the heffers.

They were just like, um, davy crockett, except tougher.

They wore real, live wolverines on their heads.

[Growling]

They hopped on their motorcycles

Which were made of wood because it was a long time ago

And they moved west over the cumberland gap

Into tuxedo valley.

They wanted to settle there

But they were not properly attired.

They were called minutemen

Because that's how long it took to bake a potato.

[Screams]

♪ Give it all you got...

These were harder times before the disco revolution

When hordes of buffalo roamed the ocean floor

Um, until they were all wiped out by settlers

f*ring at them from portals of submarines.

Anyway, my great uncle, abraham heffer

Gave the iceberg address

Describing the tragic sinking of thetitanic

Which brought a swift end to the w*r.

Meanwhile, lewis and clark heffer

Were crossing the underwear

When they were att*cked by redcoats with yellow pants.

Luckily, they were picked up by the fruity planes

And flown to the purple mountains... Magically.

There they became rough, tough lawmen

And won the famous eat out at the ok corral.

Whoopee!

Well, they won this rock in that contest...

And pushed it all the way here!

Then, they noticed a sword sticking out of it.

Actually, it was an electric carving Kn*fe

And written on the Kn*fe it said, um

"Whosoever pulleth this motorized appliance

Out of this piece of rock will be the founder of o-town."

So, they pulled the Kn*fe out of the rock

And sat down to the first thanksgiving dinner.

And that, my friends

Is where the turkeys come from.

That's the stupidest story I ever heard.

And just what do you mean by stupidest?

Face it, heff, that's a pretty unbelievable tale.

I mean, only one minute to bake a potato?

It's only slightly less believable

Than your story, egg-boy.

I have scientific proof.

Look at this chart.

Chart, schmart-- that doesn't prove squat.

Listen here, steer-boy

Don't tell me what I don't know.

If there's one thing I know, it's potatoes.

My parents invented the potato famine.

You simpering cow.

That's it!

I won't stay and be insulted.

I'm taking my rock and going home.

Don't touch that rock, you brain-dead bovine blubberbutt!

That rock is a scientific research site.

My forefathers pushed it here, and I'm pushing it back!

[Grunting]

No!

Too strong...

Can't hold.

I'll help you, filburt.

Hey! Get out of my trousers.

Rocko: hey, fellas

Look at this.

"First place, ok corral eat out."

Wow, iwasright.

Filburt: but look down there.

My forefather's nest.

Wait, it's moving.

Crikey!

Cobblers!

Dinky.

Too right.

Who the blazes are you?

Hey, rocko!

That old coot has got your shirt on.

This old rag?

It's the family colors.

Hey, young fellow

Looks like you and I are probably kin.

How long have you been under that rock?

For a dog's age.

I haven't gone on walkabout for over years.

All: wow!

Which reminds me, I've been down below

Listening to you jokers flap your gums.

You've got it all wrong.

Wrong? What do you mean?

How dare you.

How could I possibly be wrong?

My story has been proven to be true.

A turtle never forgets.

Wallabies were here before you.

Most of them moved on to australia years ago.

I'd have gone, too

But your idiot ancestors pushed a rock over my front door

And trapped me inside.

Oh, by the way, your ancestor, j.q. Bighead

Shorted the native americans by cents on their deal.

What?

That's right, and by my calculations

With interest times years

Figuring for inflation

You now owe the native inhabitants

$, And two tons of breath mints.

Here's a bill.

We'll expect payment in days.

Days?! How?

Yeah, uh, "how" to you, too, sir.

Gentlemen.

So, since your old grand marshal

Is a bit tongue-tied...

[Garbled]: I hate my life.

...i'd say you fellows need a new grand marshal.

Grand marshal?

[All talking at once]

[Marching band playing, people cheering]

Rocko: thanks so much for all your help.

I mean, I never knew that wallabies

Were the first to settle here in o-town.

Actually, all I said was

We were here before the steers

And the turtles and the toads.

There may well have been others here, even before me

But I guess we'll never know.

[Grunting and snorting]