04x04 - Wimp On The Barby / Yarn Benders

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life.

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

(Shears clipping )

(Ed bighead humming )

♪ Ah doo-doo-doo

♪ Doo doo doo

♪ Froggy lady, oh!

♪ Doo doo doo, da-da-da doo ♪

♪ Froggy lady...

(Squish )

(Gasps )

(Popping )

Rocko!

Yes, mr. Bighead?

May I have a word with you, please?

Yes, mr. Bighead?

Your dog has made a mess of my yard!

(Popping )

Oh, mr. Bighead

That's just spunky's way of saying he loves you.

Well, I have enough love in my yard

To make my dead grandmother giggle

You sniveling neighborhood menace!

And I don't want to step in any more of your love...

Ed!

Bad!

Down!

(Squeaks )

Back!

(Squeaks again )

Rocko, darling

You really must learn

To stand up to mr. Bighead, dear.

Well, I'm not very good at confrontations.

Of course you aren't, darling.

And try to keep scruffy off the lawn

Would you, dear?

Whose show is it?

(Rings )

Both: I'll get it.

(In australian accent ): rocko's modern home.

Rocko speaking.

Oh, hi, mum.

I mean, good day.

Let me say something.

Hey, hey, I've got a shrimp on the barby.

(Giggles )

What's that, mum?

He's coming when?

Oh, yes, that would be lovely... Mate.

♪Alouette ♪

♪Gentile alouette. ♪

You too, mum. Bye.

Ciao.

(Door opens )

Who was that?

Oh, your mom.

My mom?

What did she want?

Um, she said she loves you

She misses you...

Oh, and some guy named dingo

Is coming to visit you on saturday.

Dingo?!

Dingo's coming!

Lock the door!

Close the curtains!

I said, lock the doors!

And for the love of cake, hide me!

Rocko, you're scaring us!

Who's dingo?

(Inhales deeply )

Dingo was the meanest third grader in the whole world.

Are you going to have a flashback?

(Catching breath )

Yes.

(Bell rings )

On the very first day

Dingo made my life at fair dinkum primary school

A living nightmare.

Hello.

(Students tittering )

And for terrible years I was kicked...

Poked...

Tripped....

Thonked...

Thwacked....

And thwankled...

Right up to the day when I finally left for america.

(Gentle jangling )

(Sighs )

Yoo-hoo!

Short-o.

Dingo: I've got a going-away present for you.

I'll get you some day, shrimp-o!

(Jingling, rattling )

Why he never liked me, I'll never know.

And dingo was his name.

Oh. Oh.

(Crickets chirping )

(Blowing whistles loudly )

Go, go, go, go, go!

Hup, two, three, four.

(Blowing whistle )

Do you want to be a wimp your whole life?

Yes, sir.

Do you want to learn to fight like a man?

No, sir.

Good!

(Blowing whistle )

(Toots )

Drop and give me !

(Tooting )

(Grunting )

(Grunting )

(Tooting )

One...

Hey! Why am I taking orders from you?

Because you're in training!

Hi, sleepyhead.

Hi, filburt.

Rocko, you've got hours

To prepare for the fight of your life!

Fight?!

I'm not going to fight!

I'm going to leave town.

I've got to get to the airport!

Spunky! Come on, boy!

Get him!

Gotcha.

No, please!

Rocko, the time has come to stand up for what's right.

(Bellowing ): in the art of w*r, one must know his enemy.

Eh, dingo's from australia.

Whatever!

Through the use

Of sophisticated computer technology

And a box of crayons

We have constructed a likeness of dingo

As he would appear today.

Filburt!

Aye-aye, captain.

Ta-da!

(Screams )

It is because of this really scary and realistic image

That we must prepare to face the enemy!

(Cracking )

Ow.

Lesson one:

The first encounter.

(In australian accent ): hello, there, dingo.

Good to see you, eh?

(In australian accent ): I've come to get you, rocko.

I offer you these flowers, in peace and goodwill.

Is this a trick?

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

No!

Oh, heffer, they're beautiful.

Then when the enemy is preoccupied

Grab something big

And let him have it!

(Loud thud )

Hey, romeo, you left something in the top drawer.

Yeah?

Hello.

Hi!

(Shrieks in pain )

So, what do you think?

I think I'm afraid.

(Muffled ): rocko, by the time we're through with you

You're going to be a savage, bloodthirsty beast.

(No dialogue )

(Loud thuds )

(Munching loudly )

Hajimay!

Hi...

Ya...

Choy!

(Screams )

(Chewing savagely )

Rocko!

You're a savage, bloodthirsty beast!

Hello, mates.

Here I am to b*at you up.

Oh, my gosh!

It's dingo!

Ollie, ollie, oxen free.

Sic him rocko, sic him!

(Growling )

Yeah!

(Roaring )

(Rocko snarling savagely )

Filburt!

Play dead!

(Screams )

(Growling )

(Screaming )

Down, boy!

(Snarling fiercely )

(Skidding )

Filburt, talk to me.

(Moaning )

Hang in there, buddy.

You'll be okay.

(Car doors closing )

(Crickets chirping )

(Munching loudly )

(Gulps )

Snarl!

Both: he's ready!

(Japanese music playing )

Iam ready.

(Loud snapping )

Remember all that I've taught you

And you will triumph.

And if things start to get iffy

Kick him in the hiney.

(Doorbell rings )

(Loud knocking )

(Filburt and heffer gasp )

I am ready.

(Knocking continues )

Friend rocko.

Oh...

Dingo?

I am now known as foofy no-no.

I beg your pardon?

Rocko, I have come to make amends.

Please accept these turnips

As a token of my apologies

And as a symbol of eternal friendship.

Also, this lovely three-speed blenderizer.

And bacon-in-a-box.

But that's not all.

Here's five bucks.

Uh, dingo?

And lastly...

A request.

Uh, yes?

I want you to punch me in the nose.

Uh, uh, what?!

For all the suffering I have put you through

For all the pain I have caused.

Uh, dingo?

Please, rocko, free me from that which I was

So that I can become one with the unicorn.

(Honking horn )

Eh... Dingo?

Foofy no-no.

Uh, foofy no-no, I've been

Afraid of you all my life

And today I was going to stand up to you

Once and for all

But if I've learned anything from all this

It's that v*olence

Isn't going to solve anything.

It only makes things worse.

And that's why

I can't punch you in the nose.

Please, rocko.

Okay!

(Nasally ): fank you so mush.

I'm sorry you had to see that, spunky.

What I did just now was wrong.

I should've stuck by my decision

To avoid v*olence.

That's what I should've done.

You leave our friend alone

You big bully.

Let's roast his onion!

Let's get him! Yeah!

Come on!

Heff: you pick on rocko...

On the other hand, he did say please.

And yet, still

I know inside that what I did was wrong

Because that's not the kind of person I am.

Not at all.

I mean, we all have certain standards

That we should try to practice

And folks around the country

Have a contract with this country

That doesn't allow us to say certain words.

Rocko: oh, what a gorgeous day.

We ought to go out and enjoy it.

Uh-huh.

Right. (Doorbell rings )

Hi, rocko.

Hiya, heffer.

Uh-huh.

Right.

How about a friendly game of baseball?

Baseball? You bet!

Right, heff?

Right.

We'll be out in a sec.

Just got to get my glove.

Hey, batter, batter, batter, batter, batter--

Swing!

Whoa... Ooh!

Whoop.

Not good.

Turtle on his back

In the sun, bright sun.

Ow. My retinas are melting.

(Grunting )

Ah, that's better.

(Thunder )

Uh-oh.

Not good.

Turtle on his back in the rain.

(Grunting )

Oh, dear!

(Sneezing )

(Honking )

Here you go, filburt.

I'm feeling achy and feverish

And inflammatious.

Dr. Heff says you need a good dose of tv.

My mother used to read to me when I was sick.

Read?! Are you nuts?

Nobody reads anymore.

I've got just the cure.

The really really big book of fairy tales.

"Once upon a time..."

Yawn.

"...there were three bears--"

Wait.

Is this the one

With the porridge thing?

Well, yes.

Oh, I was afraid of that.

Porridge makes me nauseous.

I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous.

Right. Sorry.

Here's another one.

(Clears throat )

"Once upon a time

"There were two children who lived in the woods.

One was named hansel and the other was--"

Debbie!

Ooh!

I've never heard that one before.

One day, hansel anddebbie

Were on their way home from the--

Heffer: circus!

Yes, the circus.

And off they skipped

Merrily into the dark and scary forest.

♪ ...tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

♪ Tra-la-la--

Heff: "shortcut to hansel and debbie's house."

How convenient.

I am suspicious.

Come on, where's your sense of adventure?

Okay.

♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la

♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la...

Rocko: "so off they went into the forest

Unaware of the evil that lurked ahead."

(Cackling )

(Sneezing )

(Sniffling )

(Cackling again )

(Bird calling )

I fear we have merrily skipped too far

And have lost our way.

What about the trail of breath mints

You were supposed to leave?

I don't know.

But the birds around here smell minty fresh.

John...

Marcia...

(Background creaking )

Oh, look.

A cottage made entirely of healthy snacks.

Healthy snacks?!

What fun is that?

The house is made of pizza.

No, it's not, it's made of healthy snacks.

Heffer: pizza!

Healthy snacks!

Pizza!

Healthy snacks!

Pizza!

Healthy snacks!

Pizza!

Filburt: hey!

You're both wrong.

The house is made of fish sticks.

Imagine that, a fish stick house.

Welcome, you lost children.

Come in and eat my house.

I got plenty of tartar sauce.

Now, remember, I'm the witch.

That's it, eat up.

Get good and fat.

Uh, hansel?

I don't think coming to this house

Was such a good idea.

Magic beans?

Good idea.

These aren't for eating.

These are magic beans.

Here, watch.

(Rumbling )

Hold on!

Wait!

I was going to make an espresso.

(Cages creaking )

(Thumping )

Filburt: fee, fi, fo, fum.

Something stinks.

(Both screaming )

Rocko: "and off went the evil giant grandma to her castle."

Hey, grandma

Those are mighty big teeth you have.

All the better to chew up

My nutritional daily requirement

Of children like you.

How come everybody wants to eat us?

Hey, debbie, don't you have a hairpin or something?

No, but I have a key.

Teeth, don't fail me now.

What?

(Growling )

(Cackling )

I'll grind your bones to make my--

Porridge!

Porridge?

Ooh...

I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous...

Good one, hansel.

Where you going?

Hansel, give me a hand.

Put your thumb here.

There. Got it.

I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous...

I'm better now.

Both: you'll never catch us.

Why, you pesky kids!

Whoa...

Run!

Oh...

Rocko: "the hungry giant lost her lunch."

(Screaming )

(Still screaming )

(Still screaming )

Shut up!

"Luck and atmospheric conditions were on their side."

Both: whew.

That was a close one.

Filburt: you want that espresso now?

(Screaming )

I could make tea.

Cream or sugar?

(Screaming )

(Elevator ringing )

It's all clear.

Both: huh?

You can't go to the ball like that.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Look, heff, I'm a prince.

Me next, do me next.

Hold your horses, dutch boy.

Wow!

I feel pretty.

Call me...

Cinderheffer.

Don't we get a coach with this?

Don't rush the magic.

Ah, yes.

That'll do.

Thanks.

No problem.

Uh...

Giddy-up?

I want someone to dance with me.

Rocko: "but one wrong turn sent them

Right back to where they started."

These woods look awfully familiar.

Heffer: maybe we ought to turn back.

Stop right there.

(All screaming )

The witch!

That's me, the witch.

Stay.

Yes, it is I

And I've come bearing gifts.

Would you like a juicy blue apple?

Sure.

Cinderheffer, don't.

Wash it down

With a delicious beverage?

Great!

Cinderheffer!

(Gulping )

Ah...

(Belching )

Okay.

And how about an after-dinner mint?

Ooh.

Cinderheffer, no!

Cinderheffer, speak to me.

Now he'll never get to dance at the ball.

Rocko: "the forest was a sad, sad place that day."

Wait a minute, you!

Me?

You did this to cinderheffer and now you'll pay.

No, I won't.

Rocko: "a giant?"

Rocko: oh, look, the witch's glass shoes.

These just might fit cinderheffer.

I'm alive!

And I'm a real boy.

(Playing fanfare )

(Crowd cheering )

Mush!

Oatmeal!

Porridge!

Heffer: whee!

Rocko: "and they lived happily ever after.

The end."

Whew. Whew.

That story really did the trick.

I feel like a million bucks.

I'll return the favor someday.

♪ Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la...

(Sneezing )

(Sneezing )

(Sniffling )

Bless you.

(Sniffling )

(Stuffed up ): thanks.